The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 6, Episode 20 - Curtain Call at Bedrock - full transcript

Wilma's social club is putting up a production of Romeorock and Juliettestone at the Bedrock Playhouse. Though Fred seems perfect for the role of Romeorock, he asks Barney to take it. Barney is not very much in the mood to play this, even with the help of the Great Gazoo...

Ride 'em, Pebbles!

Ride 'em!

Goo ga goo ga!

Hey, don't you know how to
treat a thoroughbred Packasaurus?

Take it easy!


[Arr arr arr]

Hey, off, Dino, off!

No hitchhikers!

Fred, what in the world
are you doing?

Just giving Pebbles
a Packasaurus ride.

Now suppose you tell me
what you've been doing.

I went
to the PTA meeting.

You've been gone so long,
Pebbles doesn't know you.

I'm sorry, Fred.

I didn't realize
it was so late.

Stop, Dino.
Down, boy.

You'll be happy
when I tell you the news.

If it's about dinner,
I might respond.

All right,
that's enough, Dino.

Knock it off.



meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy

Of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a Yabba-Dabba-Doo

A dabba-doo time

We'll have a gay old time

Dinner will be ready
in a minute.

Frozen dinners
are so convenient.

Just heat...

and serve.

I'm so hungry, I could eat
a horned toad lizard.

This is great!
What is it?

Horned toad lizard.

Delicious! I thought it was
out of season.

Now for the good news.

I've been put in charge

of the PTA's
annual dramatic show.

Good for you.

And guess what play
I've chosen.

I don't know.


and Julietstone.

That's nice.

Isn't it exciting?

It's the perfect play.

Barney and Betty
can play the Capuletslates.

I'll play


You'll play

And you will be

And I will be Romeo--

Hold it! Hold it!

I am not playing
any Romeorock!

But you have to!

I don't have,
and I won't!

You're not getting me
in tight pants

and have me make
a monkey of myself.

Oh, dear.

Well, then I guess I'll have
to ask Barney to play it.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, that's much better
casting, yeah.

He's more
the romantic type.

Ha ha ha!
Barney as Romeorock!

This I got to see!
Ha ha ha!

Right, Dino?

"With love's light wings,

did I overperch
these walls?"

No, no, Barney.
It's not a question.

You did o'erperch
the wall.

Oh, I see. I already
overperched the wall.

That's right.

What's overperched?

It means to climb over.

That's what I'll say.

With love's light wings
did I climb over the wall.

If they do see thee,
they will murder thee.

Alack. There's more danger
in your eyes

than 20
of their swords.

If you just
look sweet--

Gee, Hoppy,
I'm sorry.

you're improvising.

I told you
I'd get better.

Shall we go on?

What a dope.
He can't read a line.

He should put
some feeling in them.

Alack, there lies more
peril in thine eyes

than 20
of their swords.

Look thou but sweet,

and I am proof
against their enmity.

I would not
for the world,

they saw thee here.

I have the night cloak
to hide me from their sight,

and but thou love me,
let them find me here,

my life were better ended
by their hate

than death prorogued,

wanting of thy love.

"By whose direction found'st
thou out this place?"

By love, that first
did prompt me...


Down, boy!

Heel! Heel!

Down, boy!

Then Julietstone says,

"A thousand times
good night."


Never mind yeah.

What's your next line?
That's your cue.

I know, but I like
to hear you say it.

Signal's going
to change ahead.

Yeah. I see it.



Let's try it again.

Now pay attention.

"Love goes toward love

"as schoolboys
from their books,

"but love from love

toward school
with heavy looks."

Hey, Fred, having an attack
of spring fever?



[Ding ding ding]

And to think I majored in
public speaking.

Why don't you play
a part, Fred?

Because the last thing
I want to do is be an actor.

How many times do
I have to tell that.

How come you know Romeorock's
part by heart?

I want Wilma
to have a good show,

and I'm trying to help.
Do the line.

How silver sweet sounds
lovers' tongues by night...

like softest music
to attending ears.

[In character]

What, Fred?

I'm not Fred.
I'm Julietstone.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, Fred--

I mean Julietstone.

Watch out for that rock!
Turn the wheel!

Watch out for that rock,
oh, Julietstone.

Turn the wheel!

You never were a good student,
were you, Barney?

No. I was
a teenage dropout.

There's only one solution.

To learn this part,
we need help--

superhuman help.

Hey. Superhuman.
What about Gazoo?

every once in a while

You do come up
with a beaut.

- Gazoo!
- Gazoo!

We need you.

Report in, Gazoo!

Quiet, dum-dums.

on your minds--

And I use the term

Gazoo, Barney is going
to play Romeorock

in Romeorock
and Julietstone.

Did you wake me up
to tell me that?

There's more.

I hope so.

I'm playing the part,

But I can't remember
the lines.

I see. And you
want me to fix it

so you won't
forget them, right?

There you are.

Now you know
every spoken word

in the drama
Romeorock and Julietstone.

That right, Barn?

Sleep, dwell
upon thine eyes.

Would I were sleep and peace,
so sweet to rest--

O.K. Don't overdo it.

Thanks, Gazoo.
You're a pal.

Fine. Now let me
get back to sleep.

Hey, hold it.
There's one more thing.

Now what?

Make him read the part
with more feeling.

That, dum-dum, is
where I draw the line.

Mechanics I can inspire,

but personality is something
you have to be born with.

Now if you don't mind,


Hey, Gazoo, wait!

Hold it!

Well, I almost
made it.

We're late for work,
and the car's stuck.

Very well. But if
I get you out,

can I get some rest?

Sure. Sure.

Take it easy, Gazoo!

Start your motor.
You're on your own now.

Run, Barn, run!

I'm running already.

That Gazoo
is quite a card.

Yeah. King of jokers.

Hey, Fred,
swing it over here.

If needs be,

thou wilt have it
where thou wouldst.

Come on!
Snap to it!

No need to shout,
foul son of the earth,

mine crane will
at your service be.

What's the matter
with Flintstone?

It's that new show
his wife is putting on.

Ever since they
started rehearsing,

He's been talking
that kooky talk.

What show?

and Julietstone.

Is he in it?

No. I think
he's directing it.

Boss, look out!

Methinks I goofed.


If you can't keep your mind
on the job, Flintstone,

I'll have to report you
to Mr. Slate.

A thousand pardons,
oh, taskmaster.

Mine mind
is cluttered with tasks

not akin to mine job.

Egads. What a ham
thou is.

You better get rid
of the clutter

and start getting akin,

Or you're going
to be out

where before you was in!

Yea, verily.

He's really flipped.

He knows my name
is Sandford,

And he called me
"yea verily."

Well, let's do
the third act tonight.

We haven't done it yet.

Who'll play
Mr. Capuletslate, Wilma?

I don't know yet.
I'm looking for someone.

Fred should do Romeorock

and let me go back
to Capuletslate.

I've tried to
talk him into it,

But he flatly refuses.

Now, let's read
the third act.

Oh, dear. I left
my script home.

I'll get it for you.

Oh, thank you, Barney.

Fred will know where it is.
He's home babysitting.

Sleep, dwell
upon thine eyes.

Peace upon
thy breast.

Would I were sleep

and peace,
so sweet to rest.

Hence will I
to my ghostly father's cell,

His help to crave
and my dear hap to tell.

Ah! Goo goo da-da!

Goo ga!

[Arr arr arr]

[Hownk hownk hownk]

Thank you. Thank you!

Thank you,
one and all.

O.K. Then Julietstone says,

"Believe me, love.
It was the nightingale."

It was the lark,

The herald
of the morn.

No nightingale.
Look, love,

What envious streaks
do lace

the severing

Hold it. Hold it!

There's no doubt
you have all the words,

But can't you put
some feeling into it?

It was the lark!

The herald of the morn!

No nightingale!

Did you get that, Barn?

The herald of the morn!

No nightingale!

Oh, boy.
What a hammasaurus.

Face it. You're the guy
to play Romeorock.

I told you not
to say that again.

I am no actor.

Uh-Oh! Hold on!

You say you're no actor,
but you looked good last night.

Doing the scene
with Pebbles.

How do you know?

Were you spying on me?

No, I just happened to
come in for the script.

Well, you'd better
keep quiet about it.

O.K., Fred.
Whatever you say.

Now let's get back
to the script.

When I say, "come to me,
fair Romeorock, forthwith,"

That is a cue for action.

Yeah. That's where I climb
the balcony, huh?

Right. Barney,
where are you?

On the balcony, Fred.

You're supposed
to be driving!

You're supposed to be driving,
oh, Julietstone.


I don't think I read
that line right.


Now what do you want?

I didn't call you.
I said gadzooks.

That's a quotation from
Romeorock and Julietstone.

But since you're here,
you could do us a favor.

Don't tell me.
Let me guess.

You have a problem
with your car,

and you're late
for dress rehearsal.


How's that?

Fine, but it's a little awkward
driving upside-down.

Oh, very well.

You want to get

and away you go!

Hey, Fred,
why not have Gazoo

figure out a way to
call off the show?

Are you kidding?

I wouldn't miss doing
the part of Romeorock--

That is, I mean,

I wouldn't miss seeing you
do the show for anything.

I like it better the way
you said it the first time.

O.K., Let's start
the dress rehearsal.

Barn, make your entrance.

Julietstone, Julietstone,
wherefore art thou--

No, no.
You don't say that.

That's Wilma's line.

But, I remember, I'm supposed
to be here someplace.

That's right.
You're hiding in the bushes.

Go ahead. Start hiding.

Romeorock, Romeorock,

Wherefore art thou,

Here I am, Wilma.

No, no, no.
Come here, Barn.

What's wrong, Fred?

What's wrong? Everything.

And stop tripping
over your sword.

Listen, Barney, if you were
just being your old stupid self,

there might be
some excuse.

But Gazoo zapped the
whole script into your head.

You can't make
any mistakes.

Maybe Gazoo
lost his power.

That's impossible.

Now get back up there
and thimpk!

I mean think.

Romeorock, Romeorock,

Wherefore art thou,

Oh, fair Julietstone,

At your feet as--

Uh, something about
a nightingale and--

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the lark
of the moon!

Oh, Romeorock,
thou had best be gone.

The light, it grows.

With more light,
then dark our toes.

Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, no!

Woes, Barney,
not toes!

O.K. Betty, you do both
the nurse and the mother.

Julietstone, your mother is
coming to your chamber.

Farewell, Julietstone.

One kiss,
and I will descend.

Farewell, Julietstone.


Sorry, Fred.

Forget it.

Here. Study the script
some more.


Fred, I can't see the show
opening tomorrow night

with Barney
playing Romeorock.

He's awful in the part.

He's going to
ruin the show.

You should've
thought of that

when you gave him
the part.

Gave to him?

I offered it
to you first,

and you refused
to do it!

And I'm still refusing.

There's no sense
kidding ourselves.

We've got to get
someone else.

How you going
to get anybody

to learn the part

Not now, Dino.


You've been rehearsing
for two weeks. Unless...

unless what?

Well, I, uh, I mean,

Barney will be O.K.

You wait and see.
Everything will work out.

You need help, Barney.

You're not ready
for the show tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't yeah me,
Barney Rubble.

You're terrible in the part,
and you know it.

I know I'm terrible.
I'm trying to be.

You're trying to be?
Why, for goodness sakes?

You and Wilma
don't know it.

Even Fred don't know it,

But Fred wants
to do the part.

He knows every line.

Boy, that bamm-Bamm's
a strong kid.

- Can't you talk him into it?
- Not a chance.

The only way
to get him to do it

is with an emergency.

You'd better think
of an emergency,

Or we're going
to have a flop.

put daddy down.

You're making
mother dizzy.

How's the strongest
boy in the world, eh?

Hey, did Bamm-Bamm
ever have the mumps?

What? What mumps?

Did you see a swelling?

No, I didn't see
any mumps.

But did he ever have them?

Of course not.

I wouldn't keep
that from you.

Well, he's just about to have
a beautiful case of them.

And what's more, I understand
they're very contagious.

"Wilma Flintstone,
Barney Rubble

In Romeorock
and Julietstone."

Looks like they're going
to have a full house.

15 minuteas, curtain going up
in 15 minutes, Wilma.

O.K., Fred.

15 minutes, Barn.

Barn, did you hear me?

Barney. Barney!

What's the matter, Fred?

It's Barn.
He's not in yet.

Is Betty here?

I haven't seen her.

15 minutes before
curtain time,

and that guy isn't here!

What a trouper.



Barn, get dressed.
The curtain goes up in 15 minutes!


I've got the mumps.

You have the mumps?

Oh, no. You can't have them!
How? When?

I caught them
from Bamm-Bamm.

Not on opening night.

Tell me it's a joke,
Barney, pal.

You're just kidding, right?

Oh, what are we
going to do?

Who's going to
play the part?

You are, Fred.

Me? You're out
of your mind.

You have to, Fred.

The curtain's going up
in 10 minutes!


I'll be a laughingstock.
You have to do it!

Oh, boy. Looks like
you'll be a laughingstock

one way or the other!

Oh, O.K. I'll...

I'll do it.

Come on!

Start the show!

Let's go, will ya?

Ladies and gentlemen,

Due to a sudden illness,

Mr. Rubble will not be playing
the part of Romeorock.


Please, please.

However, Mr. Rubble's
understudy Mr. Flintstone

Will take his place.

O.K., Everybody.

Everybody onstage.

H-H-H-How do I look,

Oh, great, Fred.
Just great.

You are Romeorock.

Thanks, Barn.

Hey, where's
your bandage?

Huh? Uh, yeah.
Good luck, everybody.

Get out there
and wow 'em!

You cooked the whole
thing up, didn't you?

You know you want
to do the part.

Be honest with yourself.


Fred. Oh, Fred.
It's terrible. It's awful.

I'll say it is.

It's--What's the matter
with your voice?

My laryngitis.

I can't talk
above a whisper.

Oh, no. You can't!

You wouldn't!

I can,
and I did.

What are we
going to do?

Call off the show.

Not yet. Hold everything.
I got an idea.

That's all we need!

Oh, boy.

Let's start the show!

Yeah! O Romeorock,
wherefore art thou?



[Audience laughing]

Great entrance, Fred!

What do you do
for an encore?


Romeorock, Romeorock,

Wherefore are you?


Forsooth. Thou speakest
with a forked tongue.

Yeah. I sure do.

For this, I want
a front-Row seat.

Ah, hence,
oh, Romeorock,

Be gone away.

Uh...uh... but, Julietstone,
o fair one,

I have but just
overperched your wall.

or no overperched,

Should mine folks
walk in on us,

Methinks wouldst be

Be gone,
for the light grows.

More light.

The more light,
the darker our toes.

Woes. Woes!

I know. I know!

Oh, no. No.
I can't stand it.



You cannot stay.

I hear my mother,
not far but near.

Oh, madam.

[Regular voice]
Yes, nurse?

[Higher voice]
I mean, yes, nurse?

Your lady mother
is coming.

Hasten, o Romeorock.

Farewell. Farewell!

Uh, one kiss,
and I will descend.

Let's skip that part,
huh, Fred?

You know it.

So farewell, Julietstone.

Watch it, Fred!

[Higher voice]
uh, Romeorock.

Barney, careful!

Methinks we goofed.

Yea, verily.

What a showstopper!

What's taking Barney so long
with the morning papers?

I'm just afraid
to read the reviews.

I hope the critics
were kind.

Get your morning papers
hot off the press!

What did they say?

I didn't read them.


Oh, listen to this!

Right on the front page.

"Romeorock and Julietstone turns
out to be a smash comedy."

It says here, "Wilma
Flintstone's PTA production

"a sparkling spoof.

Could succeed
on broadrock way."

Hey, how about this?

"Fred Flintstone
as Romeorock

was a definite
comedy hit."

Oh, boy.



"The part of Julietstone was
enacted with comic genius.

"The young lady
who played it

"was a last-Minute

"so was unknown
to this columnist.

"If she reads this,

"All I can say is,
I'd like to meet her.

Hello, dolly."

Oh, you've got
talent, Barney.

Even if it was hidden
under a wig!

True, true.

A star is born.

Right, Romeorock?

Right, Julietstone!

meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone-Age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred

Will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're

With the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time