The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 6, Episode 13 - Royal Rubble - full transcript

Wilma: aah,
Cobblestone Beach.

Don't you just love it on a hot
summer's day like this, Betty?

Betty: Oh,
it's just wonderful.

And so good for the children.

Wilma: including
our husbands. Look at Fred.

Fred: he-He-He-He.

Isn't that cute?
Pebbles buried me in the sand.

Pebbles:
ah-Ha-Ha-Ha-Oh-Ga-Ga.

Hey Pebbles,
where are you going?

Let me outta here.
I'm stuck in the sand.

Wilma!



Relax, Fred. I'll get you out.

But it isn't easy to
pass up this opportunity.

Oh-Ho! Cut out! Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha.
Oh, stop it. Ha-Ha-Ha.

If you don't stop making me
laugh, how am I gonna get out.

Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha--

There you are,
all safe and sound.

Honestly, Fred, sometimes
you're just a big baby.

[Siren]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones.

They're the modern
stone age family.

From the town of Bedrock.

They're a page
right out of history.

Let's ride with the
family down the street.



Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet.

When you're with
the Flintstones

You'll have a
yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

You'll have a gay old time!

Barney: Hey Fred, here
comes a pass into the end zone

From Johnny Stonias
from Crazylake Flintstone.

Alright, I'm on it, Barney...

[crashing into umbrella]

Ruff-Shuff-Tuff--
[Barney laughing]

You really put your foot
in your mouth there, huh, Fred.

The football, that is.

[Camera click]

What was that?

Probably some tourist
taking pictures of...

of a stone man, I guess.
[Barney laughing]

Look, if you can't throw
a football right, barn,

Just don't throw it, will ya?

Fred, how about getting
us some brontosauras burgers?

Yeah, we're developing
big appetites

watching all this exercise.
[Betty laughs]

Okay, I could use a bite myself.

Six brontosauras burgers!

Gee, Fred, aren't you
gonna order any for us?

[Barney and Fred laughing]

Will you stop with
that cornball humour?

Oh, I'm sorry, Fred.

Hey!

Fred, somebody just measured me.

I'm gonna measure you
for the right to talk,

If you don't stop with the tune.

I know, maybe it's those
guys from 'pick up on camera',

Remember that TV show?

I've picked up on six,
cute, isn't it?

Gee, I don't know,
Fred, I'm kinda cute. [Laughing]

I guess you are, Barney.

I think we have found him,
the one they call Barney.

Yes, he fits the description.

Praise be,
at last our search has ended.

Let's report our findings.

Yes. Then we shall
tell him the great news.

Barney,
aren't you eating anything?

Uh-Uh, no,
Betty, I gotta watch my figure.

He-He-He-He,

Barney thinks somebody's
after him for a TV show.

Well, it figures.

Two guys first took
my picture, click.

Then my measurements.

Of course, Hollyrock's
been after him for years!

[Laughing]

Maybe it's the Mr.
America physique they like.

[Laughing]

Alright, muscles,

How about helping me
get things in the car?

Time to go home.

[Theme music]

Hey Fred, they're after us.

Two guys on a mastadon.

They must have awful headaches.

They've got towels
wrapped around their heads.

Those aren't towels, Barney.
They're turbans.

No, turban is some
kind of a turtle.

That's a tortoise,
right, Wilma?

No, turban is
something to jump on.

You mean trip on.

I know 'cause I nearly
cracked my head on one once.

Yeah, then you had to wear
a towel on your head. [Laughing]

Oh, what's the use.

[Laughing]

Here you are, rubbles.

Home safe and sound.

Oh but now... but there's those
two towel headed guys again.

They must've taken the shortcut.

Guard: get ready.

Hola Salima, hola Salima.

Me Rubble,
you guys talk english?

You want to see
me about something?

Oh long lost prince
of Stony Rockarabia!

At last our search has ended.
We have found you.

Gee, I didn't even
know I was lost.

Uh, I don't think
I quite got you guys.

We shall explain.

Many years ago, the prince
of Rockarabia disappeared.

Here's the last picture taken
of him when he was but a child.

We have been without
a leader since then.

We have scientifically
narrowed the search down to you,

O marvelous one.

Every one bow before
prince Barbaruba.

Oh no you don't!

I'm bowing before Barney Rubble,
nothing doing!

Fred, this might be true.

Barney could be a real prince.

Right, I think we should go
along with it until we're sure.

Look, the children are getting
into the spirit of things.

Ah-Go-Oh-Ga-Sa-li-ma-ga!

Oh-Ga-Sa-li-ma!

[Laughing] you too, Fred.

- We got to do this right.
- Oh brother!

Come on, Fred.
It won't hurt this once.

Hola Salima, hola Salima!

Good. Now we must take
his greatness

to the Rocktop Plaza hotel.

Watch your step,
oh lord and master.

Don't worry folks.
I intend to be my old self.

That's it, Rubble, rub it in.
Rub it in!

Why are you taking him away?

What's at the Rocktop Plaza?

We must prepare him
for his coronation tomorrow.

He will receive
lessons in diction,

dancing and country running.
Good day.

Barney, will you be alright?

Oh, don't worry, Betty,
nothing will happen to me.

[Bumping] oops!

I... I want to see
what this is all about.

I'll see you later.

This is heady, Wilma.

My old Barney a fabulously,
wealthy, royal prince.

It's unbelievable.

We'll probably live
in a luxurious castle

- with servants and--
- Oh come on!

You girls don't really believe
Barney is a royal, do you?

It certainly looks
that way, Fred.

Well, seeing is believing.

And all I saw was
two guys taking him away.

He could be kidnapped.

Remember Betty, he's only your
husband but he is my best pal.

Now I'm going down
to the Rocktop Plaza

and check this story out.

Check out the facts.

Oh Fred,
of course it's legitimate.

It's all here in this
morning's Bedrock slab.

Some visiting rockarabians
from Stony Rockarabia

are here seeking a missing heir.

Barney turned
out to be the heir.

Eh, that story could be a plant,
you know.

I'm not taking any chances.

No point confusing
Fred with facts.

When he puts his detective
hat on, he's got.

[Car stopping]

Rocktop Plaza Hotel,
Bedrock's finest.

This is it.
Boy, sure makes a fancy hideout.

I'll be very quiet
and discreet about this.

[Screaming] Alright,
where is he?

Clerk: Where is who?

You know who.

The guy kidnapped by two
guys with towels on their heads.

Where is he?

I'm sorry, the entire
hotel has been leased

- until after the coronation--
- I don't want a room,

I want my pal!
Where is he?

I'm afraid you're sadly
mistaken, sir, as well as a nut.

[Bell ringing]

Our new bellboy
will show you out.

I'm not leaving until I'm ready.

He-He-He-He!
I'm ready.

Boy, if they know what it means
to get Fred Flintstone sore,

They'd be more careful.

Now how am I gonna
get in there?

I got it! When in Rome,
make like an arab.

Or something like that.

He-He-He!

In this arab outfit
I could slip by that clerk

and bellhop just like
one of those towel-Headed guys.

Minister: Are
the musicians here yet?

I'm checking them in now.

- Bongos.
- Bongos.

First bass.
[Bird shrieking]

First bass.

- Short stop.
- Short stop.

Short stop?

One minute there, you fat one.

Just as I thought,
an infiltrator!

Have him ejected.

Of course, sir, at once!

[Bell ringing]

Front!

Oh that bellhop
is all I don't need.

[Crashing]

[Roaring]

You better be careful big boy,

I happen to be pretty
handy with my hooks.

And, further more

I'm a proficient exponent
of the deadly art of karate.

Ho-Ha-Ho-He!
[Catching breath]

You're a... kind of
a hot dog to get close to.

[Roaring]

You wouldn't hit a guy with
prince as friends, would you?

[Squeezing]

His interruptions must be
dealt with in a positive manner.

Now then, shall we get
on with the arrangements?

Luckily, I took pole
vaulting in high school.

I'll just pole vault
and rescue Barney.

[Crashing]

Well, the idea was good.

Now to find Barney.

He must be chained
up some place.

[Arabian music]

Hey! Just look at that.

Rubble in there living
it up like a king

while I'm knocking my brains
out trying to rescue him.

[Arabian music]

I don't mind a pat on the back,
once in a while,

But this is ridiculous.

Can you take that!

Maybe Rubble is a
royal prince after all.

Guard: Greenbucks,
look an interloper.

I... I'm no inter-Loafer.

I'm just a... regular...
bystander... he-He-He.

Hey, let go!

Hey!

What is this intrusion?

What's going on?

We discovered this intruder,
your royalness.

Bow, peasant!

- You have to bow, Fred.
- Are you kidding?

He-He-He.
[Knock on head]

Sorry, Fred,
but those are the rules.

Everybody bows
before barbaruba-Bubba,

Yeah, that's me.

If you think I'm gonna spend
my life bowing to you,

You are nuts!

Shall we execute him, master?

Oh, I think I'll
spare him this time.

You may leave now, guards.

I came up here to bring
you home, not to get insulted.

Okay, alright,
so you don't need my help.

I'm going home.

Barney Barbaruba, oh boy!

Hey, aren't you gonna
stay for supper, Fred?

[Clapping]

Nothing doing, I got my pride.

We have roast pterodactyl and

Fillet of solasauras
and rockaplincers--

Well, I really could stay
and have some rockaplincers.

As long as it's okay
with your highness.

You might have your pride, Fred,
but you appetite is bigger.

[Laughing]

It's getting awful late, Wilma.
Fred might be right.

Maybe Barney really
is in trouble.

I think we should go
find both Fred and Barney.

Okay, Betty, if it will
make you feel any better.

I'll call a baby-Sitter,
you get out the car.

Why not! We may as
well play detective, too!

How are the plans for
the coronation going?

Excellent, sir.

Excuse me, ah,
I'd like to see the new prince.

I'm afraid he's indisposed.

Indisposed? You just
tell him his wife is here.

And his best friend's wife too.

Oh... uh... gulp...

oh, of course,
I did not realize.

- Right this way, please.
- That's better.

Take the elevator
to the eighth floor.

What's on the eighth floor?

The prince's harem, of course.

I don't know if it's good with

Barney being so important
all of a sudden.

Eighth floor, please.
[Gate closing]

Bird: oh! Eighth floor

It's always up, up, up...

Now, everyone gonna
be on basement.

Imagine, coming
to get permission

to see your own husband.

I prefer him to be
just plain old Barney.

Poor dear!

Betty, look!

Good heavens!
That man sent us in to a harem.

Lady 1: oh, a couple of
new girls for the prince, huh?

New girls?

For the prince?

You mean all these
girls are for Barney?

Of course, but remember
we girls we here first.

We have... seniority.
[Laughing]

Lady 2: don't worry, girls.

There's only about
200 of us ahead of you.

We'll see about that.

No wonder Fred didn't come back.

I just don't believe
Barney would do this.

Halt, halt!

It is forbidden for a mere woman
to enter without permission.

A mere woman?

What do you mean,
young man?

How dare you speak
to us in that tone?

[Indistinct chatter]

It is written, 'do
not argue with a woman'.

[Arabian music]

Will that be all,

Oh noble ruler of
all beloved sovereign--

Yeah, yeah, thanks you guys.

That was a great dinner.
Especially the rockaplincers.

I'll see you later, waiter.

He-He-He-He! Beats the heck
out of bowling, huh, Barney?

What's next your
royal princeship?

Announcing with your
majesty's permission.

[Loud bang]

His Majesty's royal harem!

[Giggling]

Oh-Uh, look,
Fred, those are g-G-Girls.

You are to select a
100 or so for wives, sire.

Hundred wives?

[Indistinct chatter]

Fred and I are happily
married cowards.

Yeah, let's get outta here.

[Indistinct chatter]

If our real wives saw
us now we'd be in big trouble.

I shudder to think of it.

Luckily they are at home

And they can't--
Yikes! But they can.

Barney, what's going on?

Fred, explain!

Well, I...
uh-Blu-Blu-Pla-Da-Du...

you see we...
-Wa-Blu-Blu-Pla-Da-Du--

[Women screaming]

Barney Rubble,
who are all those girls?

Uh-Oh, gee,
I thought you'd never ask.

Well, they... they're
just some loyal subjects, dear.

What's your excuse, Fred?
And make it good.

I'm thinking, I'm thinking--

Oh we don't have
to worry about them.

Come on, Betty.

Can't you do something, Barn?

You're the head
guy around here.

Hey, that's right.

[Clapping] okay,
girls that's enough!

Back to your room,
that's an order.

As you say, handsome master.

Hola Salima, hola Salima.

Now all we gotta do is
explain to Betty and Wilma

about the girls.

Well, start explaining!

Well, I... I... oh boy!

You see, some how I got engaged

- to all those girls and--
- Engaged?

- Why you--
- Easy, Betty.

- Yeah, but let me finish--
- We better leave...

before we finish. Come on!

This has gone too far.

Come back here, Fred Flintstone.

Here comes his royal majesty.

Let's give him a
real good bow this time.

We need time to think,
just keep running.

I am, I am.
[Bumping and crashing]

Oh boy, here they come.

Make like an elephant, Fred.
Maybe they won't notice us.

So, this is what you want,
Barney Rubble?

Partying? Dancing girls?
And silly games?

Well, I should've known.

Come on, Wilma, we're leaving.

And as for you, Fred Flintstone,

You're going to have to decide.

It's either this
kind of life or me!

- Good bye!
- Wilma!

Now look what you did.

You got us locked
out of our own homes.

Our wives are right, Fred.

I can't go through with this.

What good is being a hot-Shot
king without my Betty. [Crying]

Yeah, I... I couldn't go on
without Wilma either.

[Sniffling]

I'm going to tell them
to call the whole thing off.

Hey, now you're talking,
Barney boy!

Cancel the royal coronation?

Yeah, that's right. I'm
turning in my towel, the turban.

With all due respect,
oh royal one,

It is not possible to abdicate
the throne of Stony Arabia.

It is written, 'disaster awaits

He who shuns the
rule of the crown'.

It would be our obligation
to fulfill the prophecy.

We pray you understand,
o mighty ruler.

Well now... uh-Blu-Blu...
I think I get the point.

Isn't there anything
we can do, Fred?

Well, for one, do you
have to wear that silly hat?

It is forbidden for king
barbaruba to show his head.

I hope it's okay to use your
head. We gotta get out of here.

Hey Fred, didn't you
sneak in that window earlier?

Yeah! Yeah! Good idea, Barn.

What came in can go out.

I'm going to check
until the coast is clear.

It is most ridiculous
we must do this, sire.

But it is the law of our land.

Is the coast clear, Fred?

[Crashing]

No, but I got a better idea.

Steady now all set, huh?

Oh-Uh... I think so.

Okay, now I'll close the
overcoat and we can sneak out.

They'll be looking
for two shorter guys

Instead of one tall one.

Just don't stand and talk,
it's dark in here.

I seem to be lost.

Just some tourist from
Tallville passing through.

Tallville?

Say, aren't you the
friend of his majesty?

Oh, you're thinking
of my twin brother.

He's much shorter than I am.

Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!
[Crashing]

You wish something,
o magnificent one?

Er-Ba-Ba... no.

Hola Salima!
We shall soon crown you.

Don't get stuck, Barney.

It'll be this for
the rest of your life.

[Coronation music]

Any one who has just cause

why this coronation
should not be consummated,

Let him speak now or
forever hold his tongue.

Going once...

I guess I'll never
see my family again, Fred.

They'll take me far away
to Stony Arabia. [Sobbing]

Going twice...

going for the third
and last time...

- Hold the throne.
- Hold the throne?

There's been a mistake.

That Barbaruba is an impostor!

We have found the real heir.

We have proof and here it is.

It is written, 'and the ruler
shall wear the royal scarab'.

This is the real Barbaruba!

Oh gee, that's great!
I'm poor again. [Laughing]

Oh boy, no more money. Nothing.

Minister: Please
forgive us, sire.

We almost made a tragic mistake.

We plead for your royal
forgiveness, o mighty one.

Er excuse me,
can my friend and I go now?

Ah... it's the impostor.

Shall I have him eliminated,
o great one?

Barbaruba: Nah, that
little guy has an honest face.

- Let 'em go.
- Thanks, o great one.

Hot diggity!

Let's go, Barn.
The girls are waiting.

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Maybe we were a little
harsh with the boys, Wilma.

Maybe we were, Betty.

After all they were involved
in a difficult situation

Not of their own making.

I miss my Barney so much,

I'd gladly bow down to
him like all those servants,

If he'd just come home.
[Crying]

That goes double for me, Betty.

Hey, did you hear
that last bit, Fred?

Yeah, let's go.

Okay, girls, we are home.

Stop bawling.

Barney, you're back!

Oh Fred, I'm so happy.

Oh we knew you'd come back.

Yeah, it turned out barn
wasn't the prince after all.

Yeah, lucky for me. [Laughing]

Eh, there's one more thing...

yeah, something about
bowing if I came home...

oh brother!

Hola salima!

He-He-He-He!

That's not really what we meant.

Come here, Barn.

You see Barney might not
be a prince and I'm not a king,

But to us you two
will always be queens.

Hola salima!

[Laughing]

You are wrong.

You both are kings!

Look over there.

Your loyal subjects
still adore you.

Hola salima!

Hey, this sure is
a cozy little kingdom.

[Laughing]

She said he causes trouble
when you let him in the room

he will never ever leave you

if your heart
is filled with gloom

so let the sunshine in

face it with a grin

open up your heart

and let the sunshine in...

Let the sunshine in!