The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 6, Episode 10 - The Stonefinger Caper - full transcript

A secret organization wants to take over the world. To set their plan in motion, they intend to kidnap a professor, but, as the man is a dead ringer for Barney Rubble, they mistakenly target Barney instead. The Great Gazoo attempts to aid his "dumb-dumb" friends by lending Fred a James Bondrock-like sports car, but it will take more than the sophisticated vehicle to help the boys escape the bad men.

Oh, good.
The picture's starting.

"Paleozoic Pictures
Presents

From Crusher
With Love."

Got the hot dogs, Barn?

Right here, Fred.

The popcorn, candy, extra
brontoburgers?

Check. All here, Fred.

Listen to that
inventory, Betty.

You'd think they were
leaving for the moon.

Come on, hit him!

Watch out
for that right!



Duck!

It's a tough fight.

The boys need encouragement
to keep up their strength.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ah! The hero arrives.

[Barney]
Look at that, Fred.

Bee-Yoo-Tee-Ful!

[Whistles]
What class!

- Wowee wow!
- Look at those legs!

- Unbelievable!
- What nonsense!

They're just ordinary
pretty girls.

What girls?

We're talking
about that car!

Oh.



There's something
I'd like to have.

Ha ha ha ha!

[Barney] Is he gonna take
on all four guys?

Now,
that's muscle!

That's charm!

That's impossible!

Pass another hot dog,
Barney.

With or without
mustard?

With.

Quiet, please.

I don't want
to miss this part.

Listen to the crusher.

I don't care
how you do it,

But I want agent 711,
and I want him now!

No time like
the present, crusher!

[Fred]
Oh, brother!

How hokey can you get?

[Barney]
only in pictures.

So the movie won't be
a total loss,

Pass me
a brontoburger.

Right, Fred.

International spy
syndicate, yeah.

There is
no such thing.

[Toot]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy

Of Fred's
two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

Welcome to the International
Headquarters

Of Splersh, gentlemen.

You have been called here
to receive

An most interesting
assignment.

Difficult and challenging.

Ha ha ha ha!

I think I'll ask
for a transfer.

Quiet!

When Stonefinger speaks,
he demands silence!

Now then, your assignment.

You are to kidnap
Dr. Olaf Rockenheimer.

Rockenheimer?
The guy who discovered

How to turn ordinary
stone into uranium rock?

I'm glad you read
the newspapers.

His picture has never
been published,

but we found one.

Study the face.
Memorize it.

We need him now!

There is a high bidder

waiting to buy
that formula.

But Rockenheimer's
in hiding.

Every syndicate is
trying to find him.

The difference
being,

what Stonefinger wants,

Stonefinger gets!

Boy, what
an exciting picture!

Sure makes being
a plain old housewife

seem dull.

Sorry about that,
Betty.

You become
a lady jewel thief,

And I'll stay home
and take care of the house.

Oh, Barney,
I just wish

for once we could have
an adventure!

Take that car
that's been following us.

There's a car
following us?

Sure. All
the way home.

It's probably
just going our way.

But wouldn't
it be exciting

if it was filled
with international spies

And they were
after us?

Oh ha ha ha!

What you think,
could it be him?

No beard, no mustache,
no glasses.

Hard to tell.

We keep following
discreetly.

Of course
discreetly.

Didn't I go
to spy school?

I think they're still
following us.

Uh-Huh, but if they
capture us,

we won't talk.

Ha ha ha ha!

Right.

No matter what,
we won't reveal the secret

of our quick-rising
cactusberry muffins.

Ha ha ha ha!

[Crash]

Hey, Fred, they
bumped into us!

I told you not
to follow so close.

I know
what I'm doing!

Then get out of here,
before we're identified!

Some guys think
they own the road!

Don't complain.
It's the most excitement

we've had all month.

You can say
that again!

How about
a good night snack?

That sounds great!

[Betty]
Not very exciting, but ok.

It's the best
I have to offer.

The girls are right.
We're in a rut.

We don't have
to stay there, Fred.

I wish we could find
a new hobby.

I meant if we want excitement,
we could call--

Quiet, Barney!

Remember what happened
last time we called him?

Yeah, but suppose
this time--

Don't mention
his name!

That little wizard means
nothing but trouble!

We haven't given him
a fair chance.

I don't care.

The last person we need
is the great Gazoo!

Woops!

You called,
gentlemen?

Well, no,
not really.

There's nothing
wrong with my hearing.

You called!

It's about time.

I'll never
get back home

unless I do
good deeds.

What do you want?

Excitement.
Nothing.

Ooh! I like
your idea better.

Now, just
a minute!

Quiet!

Would you mind
waiting on the ceiling?

Now then,
what would you like?

A tidal wave,
a nice earthquake?

I told you this
guy is bad news.

Get me down!

Hee hee!
Oh, very well.

Easy! Easy!

Gazoo, as I said
before,

You are nothing
but trouble!

You're absolutely
right.

My bad impulses
do take over.

Please give me
another chance.

Shh! Here come
the girls.

They can't see me or hear me.
What's the difference?

Come and
get 'em, boys.

Our super spy
submarine specials.

Oops!

Watch, Wilma!

There! Now I'm on
the right track!

How did that--
I--

Good trick, Wilma.

What's for
the encore?

I could have sworn
I tripped.

Oh, well,
sandwich, anyone?

Looks good.

You need a vacation.

Take your wives
on a around world trip.

No good.

What do you mean,
no good?

You haven't even
tried the sandwiches!

I--
I did mean...

Forget it!

See? Hypersensitive,
supersensitive!

She needs a change.

[Whispering]
This is no time to talk--

I heard that!

It's fine with me!

Come on, Barney.

It's getting late.

It certainly is.

What do you want?

Will you please get out of here
and leave us alone!

Well, you don't have
to push, Fred Flinstone!

We're going!
Good night!

That Gazoo is trouble!

Nothing but trouble!

Hey, Fred!
The parkas parked his car--

I mean the bike is barn--

I mean, oh, boy!

What are you
talking about?

The car, Fred!
It's here!

It's us! We won it!
C'mon, look!

You never told me
you entered a contest

in both our names.

It says so
on the registration, see?

Ours? Contest?

The contest
from the movie.

There wasn't
any contest, Barney.

It's the same kind of car
that was in the movie.

If there wasn't a contest,
we couldn't have won this car.

Of course not,
dum-dum.

But your wives
don't have to know that.

Tell them you did,
and the car's yours.

Oh, no, you don't.

The answer is
definitely, positively...

ours?

How come?

To make amends for all
the trouble I've caused.

I am supposed
to grant you your wishes.

I felt you wishing
for a car like this.

It's like a dream, Fred!

Wake up
and get smart.

This can only lead
to more trouble.

Take it away!

Now you're being
sensible.

Don't you feel
better, Barney?

No.

Me, neither.

Do you want it
or don't you?

We want it!
We want it!

Now put us...
you know where.

I suggest caution until
you get the feel of the car.

You are talking to the
original hotrodders.

- Switch on.
- Contact.

Oh, boy, how this baby
hugs the road!

This is the life!

We got it made!

Hey, go faster!

Ok, Barn!

And you were worried
about trouble!

When you own
a car like this,

nothing can go wrong.

[Siren]

Pull...

[panting]
Over!

Nothing can
go wrong, huh?

Watch an expert, pal.

Congratulations,
mister.

You just broke
the sound barrier.

I realize I was
going rather fast, but...

license?

Certainly.

As you can see
by my car,

I'm a man of certain
influence not unknown

In political...
and police circles.

Sorry,
Mr. Flintstone.

I should have
looked closer.

See what I mean,
Barn?

Hee hee hee!

I gotta hand it
to you, Fred.

That would never
work for me.

I don't look
impressive enough.

That could be
Dr. Rockenheimer.

Get your camera
and get his picture.

Right!

At a distance I'd better
use a telephoto lens.

I want to get a good,
clear shot of him.

With these I could take
pictures of the moon!

Get him to look
this way.

Hi, fella.

Hi.

That's it. Hold it.

You got it?

All done.

Let's see how
it came out.

Hey, that's good.

You did a good job.

I never get
any credit.

Fred, that car
looks like the one

that hit us
last night.

I think we have
found our man.

Let's get this picture
to headquarters

and compare it
with the other one.

Right!

There's something
funny going on.

Now that I know
who you are,

I fixed it in the usual way,
Mr. Flintstone.

I figured you would.

Wait a minute!
This ticket's for 50 bucks!

That's
the usual way.

Pleasure doing
business with you.

Rrah rrr!

I had this picture
you brought in enlarged,

and the results
were excellent.

When we compare the two,

the resemblance
is startling.

Now, then, we do a bit
of deductive reasoning.

If an ordinary fellow
is suddenly driving

a very expensive car,

We are left with
the conclusion

that he is
not so ordinary.

Where did he get
such an extraordinary car?

You know as well
as I do,

another syndicate's
trying to bribe him.

A reasonable conclusion
if we have the right man.

Hey, that's
Dr. Rockenheimer!

I'm inclined
to agree with you.

What have you been
waiting for,

You lumpheaded
dolts?

Get him here!

Get that hood!
Gotta keep her shiny.

I'm shining!
I'm shining!

If he's doing
the shining,

How come I'm
out of breath?

Fred, you were right.

This car's turning into
one big headache.

You mean wallet-Ache.

$50 ticket, license,
registration, insurance.

At least the girls have
been sensible about it.

We're sure lucky there.

It didn't turn
their heads.

They just accepted
the fact we won it.

Why does
the fat one

call Dr. Rockenheimer
Barney?

The whole conversation
is a cover-Up

In case anyone
is listening...

like us.

Oh.

Well, how do we look?

[Goo goo ga]

[Fred]
What is all this, Wilma?

Our wardrobe
for the car.

You can't drive a Masarocky
wearing a housedress.

Why not?

Listen to them, Wilma.
They're kidding us.

Sure hope there's
a joke someplace.

[Wilma]
These outfits are for sunday

when we're out driving.

[Betty] For the week, we have
more dignified things.

We'll model them
for you.

How will goona
pay al that stuff?

The same way
we paid for the car.

I'll call
the great Gazoo.

He's alone.

Now's our chance.

Gazoo! Yoo-Hoo!

Oh, great Gazoo!

We need you!

What's he doing?

Why is he calling
great Gazoo?

He must be signaling
a stoneycopter.

We better get
out of here.

We'll get him later.

Here, Gazoo.
Don't fade out again.

We need you!

Right now!

Fred, can I see you?

Did you get
some money?

- The Gazoo come through?
- He didn't show up, Fred.

What do we do?

Oh, boy!
We're in trouble, Barney.

They must have bought
200 bucks' worth,

all because of that car!

Yeah, that beautiful, gorgeous,
pain in the neck car.

I wish we could
get rid of it.

Great idea, Barney!

- Let's go!
- Go where?

We'll sell it!

"Used cars."

This is it.

They'll love
to get hold of this.

Good afternoon.
This is your lucky day.

It is? How come?

I'm going to sell you a car
of your choice.

Regardless of how much
money you have.

But we have a car.

It's a beauty.
You want a second car.

We want to sell.

Oh. I'll give
you 20 bucks.

This is the car
we want to sell.

Oh, well, the boss
will fire me, but...

make it 75.

What are you
talking about?

75 bucks?

100 cash!

We'd be better off
giving it away.

Hey! Why not?

Let some poor soul
get it like we did--

As a gift.

You got nothing
but heart.

Correction--
I got nothing but bills!

Get your free
Mazarocky here.

No strings,
nothing to sign.

Just get in
and drive away.

Anyone want
a beautiful car? Free!

Step right up.

Here's a chance
of a lifetime.

A beautiful, gorgeous
Mazarocky free!

They're trying
to give away the car.

Must be part of
a prearranged plan.

See? An international
plot.

That postman's
gonna take it.

That's no postman.
That's a police officer.

A ticket? There's no law
against giving away a car.

No, but you can't leave it
in a no parking zone.

No parking? I didn't see
any sign--

[Gulp]

Oh, boy!
Another 50 bucks!

This is the end!

Gazoo!

Gazoo-Hoo!

Gazoo-Hoo!
Get down here!

Gazooooo!

Good gracious!
What a ruckus!

What seems to be
your problem?

You are,
great Gazoo.

First, we don't
want this car.

Very well, no car.

Next, we don't need
your help or you!

We would like it if we
never saw you again!

I'll report this.

Go ahead!
Barn, let's go.

Are you very sure?

You bet we are!

Well, arrivaderci!

Arriva! Arriva!

Well, that's done.

I don't even mind
the long walk home.

What are they
doing now?

They're coming this way.

We'll have to take
the fat one, too.

What are we gonna
tell the girls about the car?

We'll tell them
it was stolen.

Yeah! Two guys
knocked us out

and grabbed the car.

I don't know.
That's pretty farfetched.

Let's go!

Think so, Fred?

[Bam!]
That's one.

[Bam!]
And this makes two.

Ooh, my head!

Where are we?

Why'd you hit me,
Barney?

I didn't, Fred.

Whoever did
wants us to stay.

Yeah. There's no way out
except for that door.

I bet it's locked.

Wonder what the reason is.

Hey, look, Fred,
it's open.

I don't know about you,
but I'm scared.

I never thought I'd appreciate
that little wizard,

But boy,
do we need him now!

Hey, great Gazoo!

We told him never
to come back, remember?

Maybe if we ask him
real nice like,

He'll come back.

Please, Gazoo!

Give us a hand, huh?

Pretty please!

Hee hee hee!

There's no use
calling for help,

Dr. Rockenheimer.

Who's Rockenheimer?
And who are you?

My identity is
not important.

It's yours that counts,
Dr. Rockenheimer.

I'm not Dr. Rockenheimer.
I'm Barney Rubble.

Silence! Do not insult
my intelligence.

Listen, you!
Just be careful

How you talk
to my friend!

Quiet!

You will share the
good doctor's fate

Unless he talks.

Oh, yeah? Well,
you don't scare me.

Really? Well, look
behind you.

At what?

The wall of your cell.
Watch!

[Roar!]

Oh, no!
A horrorsaurus!

Oh, yes,
a horrorsaurus.

I... I... I...

I changed my mind.

What do you want him
to talk about?

We want his uranium
rock formula now!

But I'm just
Barney Rubble.

The only formula I know
is for my son's bottle.

My little horrorsaurus
hasn't been fed for a week.

I will raise his bars a bit each
time you don't answer.

[Roar!]

Oh, boy!

Fake it, Barney!
Make up something!

Uh, yeah.

The formula is...

H2O plus...

pi squared...

plus, uh...

electros dextros...

enough! That is
a baby bottle formula!

Oh, boy!

If I can't have
the real formula,

Neither will
my rivals.

Bon voyage,
gentlemen!

[Roar!]

This is it, Fred!

Gazoo!

Well, what a ridiculous
situation this is!

Are we glad
to see you!

I could imagine.

[Roar!]

Oh, do stop
that noise!

[Purring]

Now, that's better.

You shall not escape!

I presume
this is the way out,

So away with the bars.

And you started out
wrong in life,

So you'll have
to start over.

[Goo goo!]

Well, masters,
shall we leave?

Gazoo, you're
the greatest.

Naturally!
Hee hee!

The alarm came
from this way!

Uh-Oh! More company.

Mr. Stonefinger
must be in trouble.

We're coming,
Mr. Stonefinger!

It appears they wish
to join their friend.

Very well.

[Goo goo goo goo!]

Heh heh heh!

Like Barney said,
you're the greatest, Gazoo!

That's how i got
my name, dum-Dum!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

You're almost home.
I'll leave you now.

Hey, wait!

I can't figure you
sometimes.

You're supposed to give us
what we want,

Yet you led us
into terrible trouble.

How else are you going
to learn the difference

Between what
you really want

And what you
think you want?

Say that again.

Do me a favor,
sleep on it.

Bye!

Come back soon.

When it's time.
When it's time.

Fred, is that you?

Hi, honey.

I didn't hear
the car drive up.

Oh...yeah...

girls, a lot has
happened today.

We don't want you
to get upset,

But...
the car is gone.

Gone?

We gave it
back.

Why?

Because we
couldn't afford

To live up
to a car like that.

Betty, it worked!

Please don't be
unhappy!

Forgive us, Fred.

We played a trick
on you

To convince you we
couldn't afford that car.

You loved it so much we thought
you'd never see the truth.

We acted the way
you were going to act

If we hadn't gotten
there first.

I told you they were
practical, Barney,

In their cute
sneaky way.

Let's celebrate
and have some real fun.

Oh, boy!

What kind
of fun?

Our kind of fun.

Let's just stay home.

And curl up in front
of the tv.

Make some popcorn...

and relax and be us.

That's the best idea
I've heard all week.

I told you they
were jewels, barn!

Girls, we are with you!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ahhh, you know,

It's a pleasure
doing good deeds

For these kind of people.

Yes, indeedie.

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred

Will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're

With the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!