The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 6, Episode 1 - No Biz Like Show Biz - full transcript

Fred wakens from a nap to hear Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm singing in tune and accompanying themselves on musical instruments--amazing, since they can't even talk yet. Famous manager Eppy Brianstone signs up the kids, and they become an overnight sensation. Wilma and Betty jet around to the kids' performances and Fred and Barney are largely left behind. On the eve of their departure for Eurock, Fred decides no one is going to deprive the babies of their childhood, contract or no contract.

[Police siren blaring]
They're gaining on us, Fred.

I can't lose them.

You gotta shake 'em,
keep going.

Maybe I can lose them
in the cloverleaf.

Step on it!

[Fred] Let's get off this
thing, I'm getting dizzy.

How do we get off?

Hey, there's a sign
that says "oh-Nee-Way."

That's one way!
Barney, look out!




meet the Flintstones

they're the modern
stone age family

from the town of Bedrock

they're a page
right out of history

let's ride with the family
down the street

through the courtesy

of Fred's two feet

when you're
with the Flintstones

have a yabba-Dabba-Doo

a dabba-Doo time

we'll have a gay old time

This is it, Fred,
the big day is finally here.

Yeah. The game starts
in a few minutes.

You got the phone
turned off?

All turned off.

Shades pull down?

Shades down.
We're all set.


Dino, cut that out!

I want absolute quiet around
here for the next hour.

Go play outside.


O.K., Pal. We're all set.
Start the countdown.

Roger. 15, 14, 13--

Bamm! Bamm!
Bamm bamm bamm!


Hey, Betty!

What's wrong, Fred?

Wilma, will you please get Pebbles
and Bamm-Bamm out of here?

And the kids are making
awful racket.

Come on, Beety, let's humor them
before they have a fit.

Now, you don't
understand, Wilma.

The football game
is about to start.

All this fuss to
watch football on TV.

Sure makes you wonder
who the kids around here.

Oh, but this isn't just any game,
is for the championship.

Never mind, Barney.
Let's just watch the game.

[Music playing]

Hey, that's not the game.

It's one of those
teenage shows.

I must have
the wrong station.

Way up in the sky

I think I see why

The birds do
all their singing

'cause roses and rainbows
are you...

Hey, what is this?

You got the wrong
station again.

Here, let me try.

[Changes channel]

[Music playing]

shake it, we're dancing
in the sand


Gee, maybe there's something
wrong with the tuner.

It's not the tuner.

The country's
out of whack.

with these kids?

[Changes channel]

[Music playing]

[Changes channel]

[Music playing]

[Changes channel]

Bedrock's TV game of the year
has been postponed

For this special program.

- Postponed?
- Postponed?

Today we're interviewing
the world's most famous

Teen-Age impresario,
Mr. Eppy Brianstone.

From my boys,
the termites,

And myself,
hello out there.

They can't
do this to us!

I'll write my congressman.
We're missing the game.

Eppy, rumor has it

that you're looking for a new
singing group. It's that correct?

Well, I'm not exactly looking,

But I'm always willing
listening good talent.

Talent, he calls it.

Have you any advice
for teen-agers trying

to make good
in show bussiness?

Well, the first
thing I'd say is,

Don't grow up.

Oh, boy.
I've heard enough.

[Turns tv off]

There ought
to be a law.

Who's running
this country?

The teen-agers or us?

Looks they are, Fred.
They're on every station.

Teen-age stars--
Big deal.

You know,
I'm kind of glad

we got nice, normal kids
with no talent.

- We're lucky.
- What's so lucky?

We also got a long dull saturday
with no football game.

Hey, uh, you want to take
a walk or something?

No. You go ahead.
I'll just stay here.

O.K., Fred. I'll go home
and mow the lawn.

I'll see you later.

Barney's right.
Teen-Agers are taking over.

Us adults
haven't got a chance.


[Music playing]


Uh, Wilma, turn off
the radio, will you?

I want to take a nap.

Hey, wait a minute.

The radio's
on the blink.

Where's that
coming from?

It must be some teen-Agers
rehearsing in my yard.

Some nerve.

Those aren't teen-agers!

That's Pebbles
and Bamm-Bamm!

...filled with gloom

so let the sunshine in

face it with a grin

smilers never lose

and frowners
never win...

Barney! Barney!

It's Bebbles
and Pamm-Pamm!

I mean babbles
and pemm-Pemm--

Come on, quick!

Our little babies!

you are unhappy

the devil
wears a grin

but, oh, he starts
to runnin'

when the light
comes pourin' in

I know he'll be...

I can't believe it.

Pebbles and bamm-Bamm
are singing.

And they can't
even talk yet.

You know what
this means, pal?

Oh, sure.
Our nice, normal kids

Are going to make us
a fortune.


We're gonna be millionaires,
We're gonna be millionaires

Ha ha ha!

Hey, barney,

We haven't told
Wilma and Betty yet.

Boy, they'll flip
when they hear the news.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, Fred,
don't be silly.

can't talk.

But they were
singing real words.

who are you kidding?

All right.
Let's show, pal.

Yeah. Let them see
for themselves.

Laugh at us,
huh, Wilma?

listen to this.

Dada dada.
Hi, dada.

Well, Fred?

You expect "dada dada"
to make the top 10?

I'm telling you they were
singing. Aren't they, Barn?

Sure, like a couple
of canaries.

Go on, Bamm-Bamm.
Sing for daddy.

Bamm! Bamm!
Bamm bamm bamm!

No, son. I mean
sing that song again.

Bamm! Bamm!
Bamm! Bamm!

Nice try, Barney.

If you'll excuse us,
Wilma and I are busy.

Ha ha ha!

They, uh, didn't
believe us, did they?

I, uh, don't
think so, Fred.

Gee, you think we imagined
the whole thing?

Maybe we did,

But that don't sound
like singing.

Bamm! Bamm!
Bamm bamm bamm!

What I don't
understand, Barn,

Is how can you hear
what I imagined?

Beats me, Fred. Maybe we're
both having hallucinations.

You both have been
working too hard.

[Doorbell rings]

- Who can that be?
- I'll get it, Fred.


Pardon the intrusion,
but may I use your phone?

Sure. The phone
is over there.

Hey, Barney. That's the guy
we saw on the TV.

Yeah. Uh, Eppy Brianstone,
the teen-age impresario.

Having a bit of trouble with my car,
hope you don't mind.

My pleasure,
Mr. Brianstone.

And I wnna tel you there
will not be any charge...

for using my phone.

Oh, uh, thank you, sir.

If I forget
to say my prayers...

Barney, do you hear
what I hear?

There goes
our imaginations again.

I say, that's a nice sound.
Who is that?

That is my girl
on the guitar.

And that's my boy
on the drums.

- Do yo like it?
- It's absolutely smashing.

just open up your heart
and let the sunshine in

so let
the sunshine in

face it with a grin

smilers never lose

and frowners
never win...

I've heard some acts, but these
kids are fab, gear, kinky.

Betty, the boys were
telling the truth.

Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm
are actually singing.

I hear it,
but I can't believe it.

...sunshine in

let the sunshine in

Just leave everything to me,
Mr. Flintstone.

In two weeks,
pebbles and Bamm-Bamm,

will be the biggest thing ahead the
show bizz since "The Termites".

But it's incredible. Those
children can't even talk yet.

Oh, I've got to make a note of that.
Great for publicity, you know.

Mr. Brianstone,
you got a deal.


I think
I'm going to faint.

Don't. I need you
to hold me up.

"New song team smash hit."

"Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm
break all records."

"P. & B.B. Boffo
at Carnegie Hall."

And now, kids, this week's
number-one tune,

Sung by the number-one team,
Pebbles and bamm-Bamm.


How did it go at work
today, Fred?

Terrible. I must have got a hundred
phone calls to Pebbles and Bam-Bam...

from reporters,
magazine writers.

Yeah, me, too.

It'll be a pleasure
to get home.

Yeah, where it's nice
and quiet.

Thanks, Barn.
See you after dinner.

Right, fred.

Boy, I didn't know
it would be like this.

Aah! There's the father
of Pebbles Flintstone.

Get his autograph!

Get a souvenir!

Grab his tie! Aah!



Hold it!


Aw, it's only
the father.

Let's grab some shots of the
kids get reading for a nap.

Hey, what is this?
What's going on?

Hello, Fred. The kids will
gonna be on the cover...

of Today's Teens
and Better Babies!

Isn't it exciting?

I'd be more excited
about something to eat.

What's for dinner?

You must be kidding.
Who's got time to cook?

Can you grab a sandwich
at the bowling alley.

Bowling alley?

And Take Barney with you,
will you, Fred?

Now, just a
cotton-Pickin' minute!

I want to talk
to you, Wilma.

I'm sorry, Fred.
I haven't got time.

Betty and I still have to pack.

Packing? What for?

We're going to New Rock
in the morning.

The kids will be a appear on
the Johnny Rockson Show.

Don't forget to
turn on your TV.

And tell Barney
about it, too.

Just a minute, Wilma.
I know my rights and got...

a right to expect dinner
when I get home.

And furthermore--
[Knock on door]

[door opening]
What do you want?

This where
the whiz kids live?

Oh, hello, professor. I'll have
the children ready in one minute.

Who is that guy?

professor Freudstone.

He's going to find out why Pebbles
and BamBam sing like they do.

Oh, yeah?
And what about me?

You're too old.

Ha ha ha!

And now let us
with the experiments begin.

They seem like nice,
normal, healthy children.

I think first we will
the reflexes testing.

Just relax the knee,
little fella.


A regular stuperstone!

And now we test
the vocal chords.

All together now.
Say, "ah."

- Aah.
- Aah.

Ah, that's beautiful.

Now, I have the answer.

Well, what is it?

A simple case of mass-Media-

[Fred] What does
that mean?

It's comes from watching TV.

But, professor,
they're only babies.


And because they are,

No one ever told them
they are too young

to do what they doing.

So, they doing.

Simple, isn't it?

Yes, very.
Isn't it, Fred?

Oh, boy.

Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm
looked good on TV...

last night,
huh, Fred?

Yeah. Looked like Pebbles
is getting a new tooth.

I sure miss her.

You missed
the ball, too.

Ha ha ha!

Huh? Boy,
my game's off today.

Hey, Fred, just between
you and me,

Do you like it now that
our kids are celebrities?

Why you kidding.
We got it made--

Plenty of time,

No wives or kids around
the house making a racket.

We can bowl all night,
sleep all day.

Right. We're the envy
the guys of the lodge.

Yeah, we got it made,
all right,

But there's one thing
I can figure out.

What's that, Barney?

How come we're
so miserable?

You missed
the ball again, Fred.

Now, let's face it.

I miss Wilma
and Pebbles, too.

And I miss Betty
and Bamm-Bamm.

Hey, Fred. They're here.
Our families are home.

At last.
Let them in, Barney.

Hiya, Wilma.

Fred! Oh,
it's so good to see you.

Hiya, Betty.

We have news.

Gee, you were gone a
whole week, sweetheart.

Where's Pebbles?

She's having
her hair done.

- Where's Bamm-Bamm?
- He's having his hair done.

There you are, chappies.
Will you, please, sign this contract?

Yeah, sure.
What's this for?

Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm
are going to make a film.

That's the news, Barney.

Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm
are going to make a film.

Isn't it thrilling?

Right after they sing
at the Hollyrock Palace tonight,

We leave for Eurock.

- Eurock?
- But you just go home.

We had pick some more
clothes for the kids.

Hurry up, girls.
We've got a busy schedule.

- Bye, Fred.
- Bye, Barney.

We'll write
as soon as we can.

Now, just a doggone minute!

Pebbles is not
going to Eurock!

I absolutely
forbid it!

And furthermore,
I'm getting fed up

with this whole thing!
Now, I'm...

Too late, Fred.
They're gone.


Well, that does it.

Now we're going to
do something.

What can we do? Pebbles and
Bam-Bam belong to the world now.

We'll just have the all the world
around a couple of kids, Barn,

We're taking ours

She said he causes trouble
when you let him in the room

he will never ever leave you

if your heart
is filled with gloom

so let the sunshine in

face it with a grin

smilers never lose

and frowners never win

so let the sunshine in

face it with a grin

open up your heart
and let the sunshine in...

But, Fred, we signed
all kinds of contracts.

We can't take Pebbles and
Bamm-Bamm even if we ask.

They wouldn't let us.

We're not asking.
We are just grabbing and running.

The caper is called

Kidnap our own kids.
Get it?

Yeah. We can also get
into lots of trouble.

We can also get
our kids back, Barney.

And that's what
I'm goona do.

so let the sunshine in

face it with a grin

smilers never lose

and frowners never win

so let the sunshine in

face it with a grin

open up your heart
and let the sunshine in

Let the sunshine in.

You look awful silly
in that disguise, Fred.

It's like way they do on tv.

Remember, I snatch,
and you drive.

Hey, a get a better ideia.
You drive and I run.

Oh, don't lose
your nerve, Barn.

I'll be right out.

Nice show, kids.
Is all their gear packed?

Yes, sir.
All gear packed.

Thanks, operator.

No answer at your house
either, Betty.

The boys aren't home.

Oh, Mr. Brianstone, we've
just got to wait to we have

a chance to talk
with ours husbands.

Sorry, girls. We have a plane
to catch, you know.

Just a second, pal. Those
kids aren't going nowhere.

I beg your pardon.

Finster Brickly's the name,
department of education.

Have those kids been
to school today?

At two years of age.
Of course, not.

Wilma, there's something
familiar about that man.

I noticed
the same thing.

I say there, where you
think are you going?

Uh, taking these kids
to the detention home,

And, uh, detent them.

Bamm! Bamm!

Pebbles, Pebbles, no!

Dada, dada, dada.

Wilma, it's Fred.

What's in the world he up to?

Pardon me.
I'm late for school.

Hey, come back here
with my act!

We've got a contract,
you know.

Let's go, Barney!

Fred, what are
you doing?

Barney is with them!

Get going, pal.
Let's get out of here.

Into my car,

We'll try
to catch them.

They're right
behind us, Fred.

We got to lose them.
Faster, Barney, faster!

Stop, Flintstone. I'll sue you
for every cent you have!

You'll have to catch me first!

Barney, look out!

Hey, you!
Get out of the way!

Pull over
to one side!

Uh, come on,


Ooh, here comes
another one. Jump!

They couldn't be sunday drivers.
Today is only tuesday.

They're gaining on us, Fred,
I can't lose them.

You got to shake them.
Keep going.

[Bell rings]

[Sirens blaring]

We got company.

Maybe I can lose them
in the cloverleaf.

Step on it!

Ataboy. You really
got them confused.

They ain't the only ones
who's confused.

- Which way we go?
- Right. Right.

[Fred] Let's get off this
thing, I'm getting dizzy.

How do we get off?

Hey, there's a sign
that says "oh-Nee-Way."

That's one way!
Barney, look out!


[Brakes squealing]

That was close,
but we gave them the slip.

Where we go now, Fred?

Gee. I didn't think
about that.

We can't go home.
That's the first place I've do.

We haven't got any
baby food or diapers.

Are you
chickening out, Barn?

No, I was just thinking.

And look, Fred,
a roadblock.

It's no use, Fred.
We haven't got a chance.

They won't take Pebbles
and Bamm-Bamm away from us.

Fred, just what do you
think you're doing?

All right, Buddy.
Hand over those kids.

Nothing doing.
You can't have them.

Let me go!

I won't give up the kids!
I won't you can have them.

Let me go!

Fred, wake up.
Wake up.

Huh? Huh? Wilma.

Uh, uh, uh,
w-What happened?

You must have
fallen asleep.

Yeah. I guess I did.

Look, Fred.
Isn't it cute?

I bought it for Pebbles.

What is it?

A dancing costume,

for Pebbles, when she starts
taking dancing lessons.

Who knows? She may be
another Shirley Dimple.

Oh, no.
Absolutely not.

No career for Pebbles.

I'm not going
through that again.

What are you talking about?
Going through what again?

Oh, Wilma.

I had the worst dream.

Pebbles became
a famous singing star,

and I was miserable.

Oh, boy, am I glad
it was only a dream.

Poor dear. I have something that
will make you feel better.

I bought it this morning.

mommy told me something all
little kids should know...

Wilma, that's the song that
Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm were--


bamm! Bamm!

Goo goo goo.

Bamm! Bamm!
Bamm bamm!

Hey, You know something, Wilma?

Being famous
can be a ball,

But it takes an adult
to handle it.

Just a minute, kids.

what are you doing?

Mommy told me something
my little kids should know

Don't you see, Wilma?

With a manager like Eppy Brianstone,
I could start a new trend.

Oh, brother.

she said he causes trouble
if you let him in the room

he will never
ever leave you

if your heart...

Ga ga goo?

so let
the sunshine in...

Ha ha ha!

open up your heart

and let the sunshine in

meet the Flintstones

they're the modern
stone age family

from the town of Bedrock

they're a page
right out of history

someday, maybe Fred

will win the fight

then that cat will stay out

for the night

when you're

with the Flintstones

have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

a dabba-Doo time

we'll have a gay old time

we'll have a gay old time