The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 5, Episode 13 - Indianrockolis 500 - full transcript
In his spare time, Barney builds a sport car, which Fred finds dangerous to drive. However, he hears about the Indianrockpolis 500 race and thinking the prize money can be useful for Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm's student funding, he enters the race but since Mr Slate is unable to give him a day off, he lies that he is sick. Along with Barney, they go to the race track without telling the wives, but Fred must enter the race under a false name: Goggles Paesano. But how can they easily fool Mr Slate who attends the race, as well as Betty and Wilma who saw Barney waiving at the crowd, and knowing Fred can risk his life on a track where he drives like he's coming home on the freeway...
Here comes Rockfoot Johnson.
He's passing
Goggles Pizanno.
Pizanno is in a spin.
He comes out of the spin.
Pizanno's gotten
turned around.
He's going the wrong way.
Look out!
Hey, you guys,
you're going the wrong way!
What's the matter?
You're going
the wrong way.
Why didn't you tell me?
[Toot]
Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Let's ride with the family
down the street
Through the courtesy
Of Fred's two feet
When you're
with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time
A dabba-Doo time
We'll have a gay old time
[Snoring]
[Giggling]
[Arr arr arr]
[Hop hop hop]
[Giggling]
[Arr arr arr]
[Hop hop hop]
[Snoring]
[Hammering]
Oh, no. Don't tell me
Rubble's at it again.
That guy's getting to be
public pest number one.
Well, there's
only one thing to do.
Go over
and silence that hammer.
The nerve of that guy,
Waking people up
with his hammering.
Rubble's going to have to
be taught
To show some respect
for his fellow man,
And I'm just the fellow man
who can teach him.
Alright, Rubble,
where are you?
Hiding, eh?
Well, I'm going to--
Yiii-Eee!
Oh, hiya, Fred.
And what,
may I ask,
Do you think
you're doing?
I'm, uh, hammering.
I know
you're hammering!
You woke me up
with your hammering!
Oh, uh, sorry, Fred.
Now, I'm asking you
like a gentleman.
Stop the hammering.
Okay, Fred,
in a minute.
There. That does it.
I'll say, that does it!
Get me out of here!
I'm getting. I'm getting.
Well, what do you think,
Fred?
What do I think
about what?
My new sport car.
Built it myself.
Isn't she a beauty?
Alright, it's a beauty.
So what?
Will it run?
Well, it should.
Oh, yeah? Why?
Well, it's got a blue
flint Rockarri engine
With a granite
rock block.
Are you trying
to tell me something?
Yeah, it's
a 6 liter flat 12
That will develop 250 dp
at 10,000 rpms.
Dp? What's dp?
Dinosaur power.
Very impressive.
It's got 6 overhead
carbo shafts,
2 agate fuel
injection systems,
And a 7-Speed
marble gear box.
Wow, a 7-Speed
gear box
And 2 agitated
fuel rejection systems?
What are you
talking about?!
Just listen to this.
[Rumbling]
Ain't that
a beautiful rumble?
Sounds great.
Just think, Fred.
250 dinosaurs all
working together
Down there
under the hood.
Ha ha ha!
[Engine revs]
[Brakes screech]
Hey, listen
to this throbbing,
pulsating piece
of machinery.
How does it feel?
Ooh, it's a little
spooky, Fred.
You want to
give it a whirl?
Okay, Barney.
Don't mind if I do.
Hey, let's see now.
What do I do first?
Buckle your
seat belt.
Aw, seat belts
are for kids.
How does this thing work?
Okay, release
the brake.
Release the brake.
Now, ease the shift
back one notch,
And away you go.
Ease it back one notch,
And away I goooooo!
Help!
How do you stop it?!
Help!
Help!
Somebody do something!
Watch out
on the other end!
How do you stop it?
Hit the brake, Fred!
Hit the brake!
Boy, were you
traveling, Fred.
I told you to buckle
the seat belt.
Rubble, you should be
put away someplace.
What's the idea,
Building a contraption
like that?
But, Fred--
There are kids
in this neighborhood,
People on the crosswalks,
Cars on the streets
and highways.
Well, sure,
Fred, but--
Now, you put that thing
in the garage
And don't ever
get it out,
Or I'll report you
to the authorities!
Okay, Fred.
That thing is a weapon,
An uncontrolled,
unconcealed weapon,
And you are
a menace to society!
Sheesh!
Oh, this will be
such a cute dress
For Pebbles.
I still say
She should have
used taffeta.
Oh, boy, that Rubble
Is a menace
to the neighborhood.
Do you know what
I've been thinking, Fred?
I'll get a petition
and force him to move.
We should start saving up
a college fund for Pebbles.
I'm telling you, Wilma.
That guy is
some kind of a nut.
Neither one's
heard a word
The other's been saying.
Fred Flintstone,
you haven't heard
A single word
I've been saying.
Huh? Did you say
something, Wilma?
Yes, I did.
I said we should
start a college fund
For Pebbles.
Oh.
I hope I'm not too late
for the baseball scores.
A college education
would ensure her future.
Well, it's a good idea,
But what will
we use for money?
That's what I was wondering.
It takes
all I make right now
Just to keep body
and soul together.
But we have to think
of Pebbles' future.
Announcer:
and that concludes
The baseball scores
for today.
Missed it. Oh, well.
From all over the world,
Race fans are thronging
to indianrockolis
For the annual
500 mile auto race.
Boy, I'd like
to see that sometime.
The world's top drivers
are there
With their fastest cars,
Each hoping to drive away
With that
$50,000 first prize.
Wow! 50,000 bucks!
Hey, why don't we go to
indianrockolis, Wilma?
It's not very far.
Fred, you amaze me.
Our child's future
is at stake,
And all you think about
is an auto race.
Oh, but, Wilma,
You'd enjoy
seeing those cars
Barrel around
that track. Varoom!
Fred, why don't
you go outside
And varoom
the lawnmower around?
The lawn has needed
cutting for a week.
Oh, boy.
[Humming]
Hi, barn.
Oh, I'm not making
any noise, Fred.
I'm polishing
very quietly.
Oh, never mind that.
Listen, have you got
a college fund
Set up for bamm-Bamm?
A college fund?
Gosh, no.
I'm still paying
on his milk fund.
Oh, stop with the jokes.
Think seriously
about this problem.
I've been thinking
about it, Fred.
There's something wrong
between my dp
And my gear ratio.
What are you
talking about?
It makes it
too fast.
It ought to be on
a track someplace.
What did you say?
You were right
about this car.
It's too hot to
drive around town.
It belongs
on a racetrack.
That's it, Barney.
That's it.
What's it, Fred?
We're going to enter
this hot little job
In the Indianrockolis 500
And win that $50,000.
Well, gosh, Fred.
I don't know--
Listen, Barney,
Pebbles and bamm-Bamm
Have got to
have an education.
Well, yeah, but--
And this is our chance
to get their college funds
Tucked away
nice and secure.
This job's a strain
in the neck.
It takes money
to race a car, Fred.
Here, hold this,
will you?
Sure, but don't worry
about expense.
We'll get an advance
on our salaries.
I don't think Betty
would like that.
Neither would Wilma,
but we won't tell 'em.
Hey, this is getting heavy.
Where do you
want me to put it?
Just drop it
anywhere, Fred.
Okay.
Ow! Ohh!
My foot!
Have to
watch yourself, Fred.
You can get hurt
working around a car.
Now you tell me.
I'm sorry, Fred.
And now,
about this racing,
First, we have to
hire a driver.
Hire a driver?
Listen,
I'm going to drive.
You, Fred?
Sure, that will be
My main contribution
to our partnership.
You'll be pit man,
the mechanical genius,
And I'll drive.
Varoom!
Well, judging by the way
You drive home
on the freeway,
You ought to do
real good at Indianrockolis.
Ha ha ha!
I'm telling you,
Barney,
That 50,000 is as
good as in the bag.
What do you say,
partner?
Is it a deal?
Okay, it's a deal.
Hey, we'll have to
get off from work
The day of the race.
My boss owes me a day off.
It's no problem for me.
Me, neither.
I got my boss
mr. Slateright
In the palm
of my hand.
He wouldn't dare
say no.
No, no, no,
Flintstone!
You may not take
tomorrow off!
I pay you to
stay on the job,
And that's exactly
What you're
going to do.
Is that clear,
Flintstone?
Yes, sir.
Any other questions?
No, sir.
Then get back
to work.
Yes, sir.
[Muttering]
What did you say,
Flintstone?
Oh, I said
briken rack-A-Frack
Maken frints a-Brontus.
Oh, I didn't
hear you.
Okay, we're all set.
Let's go.
Off to the races!
Barney, shh! Keep
your voice down.
You wanna wake
Wilma and Betty?
Oh, sorry, Fred.
I didn't think.
Barney,
in this business,
You got to be thinking
all the time.
Okay, Fred. I'll throw on
my thinking switch.
Ha ha ha!
Oh, quit
the clowning.
Come on, let's go.
I went
to the track
With my car
hopped up
Doo-Dah, doo-Dah
I'll come back home
with a winner's cup
Doo doo-Doo-Doo
da-Day
Goin' to drive
all night
Goin' to drive
all day
Bet the time on
the auto rubstone special
Better get out
of the way
[Laughing]
Why are we
stopping here, Fred?
I want you
to phone my boss
And tell him in bed
I'm home with a cold.
Well, how come?
Well, if he thinks
I'm home sick,
He won't be
calling Wilma,
And she'll think
I'm at work.
I get it, Fred.
You think it will work?
Sure, all you do
is disguise your voice
To sound like Wilma.
Okay, Fred,
if you say so.
Hey, what's
the number?
Area code is 535...
535.
The number is 235...
235-3659.
Oh, boy.
That's the Bedrock exchange.
Uh, hello.
Mr. Slate?
Disguise your voice.
[High-Pitched voice]
hello, mr. Slate.
This is Wilma,
Fred Flintstone's wife.
Yes,
mrs. Flintstone.
I just want to--
Disguise your voice.
I mean, I just
wanted to tell you
Fred is home in bed
with a bad cold.
What? Yeah,
I know I sound strange.
You have a bad cold, too.
I have a bad cold, too.
Yes, I'll
take care of him.
Oh, you are?
Well, have a good time.
Goodbye, mr. Slate.
What did I tell you?
All my ideas work.
I gotta hand it
to you, Fred.
You're pretty tricky.
Sometimes I say,
"Alexander, it might have
been better
If you never had invented
this telephone."
What was that you
said to mr. Slate
About having
a good time?
Uh, bad news, Fred.
Slate's going to be
at the race today.
He'll spot you for sure.
Eh, well,
don't worry.
I'll use
a fake name,
And I'll keep my helmet
and goggles on.
Nobody will
recognize me.
[Baby talk]
Yes, Pebbles,
You and bamm-Bamm
may go out and play.
They're so cute
at this age.
Yes, they are.
And bamm-Bamm's such
a little gentleman
With Pebbles.
Oh, dear.
Your door, Wilma.
I wish bamm-Bamm
would realize
How strong he is.
That's alright.
He means well.
Yes. He reminds me
of Barney.
You know, Barney did
the sweetest thing
This morning.
He let me sleep,
and when I woke up,
He'd already gone
to work.
Fred did
the same thing.
I kind of missed
Barney's usual
Early morning
greeting of,
"Good morning, Betty,
And a howdy-Do-Do
to youty-Too-Too."
Fred's a riot, too,
With his
early morning questions.
"Wilma, where's my razor?
"Wilma, where's
my morning grape juice?
Wilma, where's breakfast?"
[Laughing]
Oh, Wilma.
I wonder why
they had to leave
So early.
I don't know.
My intuition
tells me
They're
up to something.
Mine, too.
Oh, but I guess
We shouldn't be
so suspicious.
No, we really
shouldn't.
Come on, let's watch
The early, early
fashion show on tv.
Good idea.
We have a last-Minute entry,
ladies and gentlemen.
Goggles pizanno, driving
the rubstone special.
You can see him
down in the pit
Getting ready
for his time trial.
You say this is a 250
dinosaur power engine?
That's right, goggles.
Sounds like half of 'em
are sound asleep.
Don't worry, goggles.
I'll wake 'em up.
Hey, you guys,
If you're gonna
try to qualify,
You got to go now.
Rev her up, Fred.
Them dinosaurs are
up and kicking now.
Okay, take her away!
Pizanno's
coming onto the track,
Ladies and gentlemen.
He's refusing the usual
warm-Up lap.
He accepts the flag,
And there he goes!
I thought you didn't
care for racing, Wilma.
Well, Fred's
so wild about it,
At least I can
tell him who won
When he gets home
from work.
This is the time trial
for Goggles Pizanno.
He's driving
like a wild man.
Watch it! He's in trouble
on the north turn!
He's in a spin.
He's headed for the wall!
Look at that!
He's driving up
the side of the wall. Wow!
Now he's looping
in midair.
He's back on the track,
heading into the home stretch.
What a driver! What a car!
What a wild man!
Remember that name:
Goggles Pizanno.
He's pouring everything
into his rubstone special
In an attempt to qualify
for the Indianrockolis 500.
All I can say is
that Goggles Pizanno
Drives a lot
like Fred
Coming home
on the freeway.
Pizanno is burning up
the track
As he nears the finish line.
Look at that combination
of skill and speed!
And no hands!
That was Goggles Pizanno
in the rubstone special.
His qualifying time of 1.05
Sets a new track record.
[Crowd cheering]
There's Barney!
I'd know that figure
anywhere.
And that
looks like Fred.
But he wouldn't
be crazy enough
To drive
in that race.
Or would he?
He would.
They are
going to race.
Oh, let's get over there
and stop them.
We're too young
to collect insurance.
We can take my car.
We'll drop the kids off
at the nursery.
Alright, Wilma,
but hurry!
Goggles Pizanno
Completes the list
of qualifying drivers.
The race is about to begin.
I wouldn't have
believed it.
Believed what, slate?
That another
human being
Could look like
Fred Flintstone.
It's amazing,
but Goggles Pizanno
Looks more
like Flintstone
Than Flintstone.
Where are you going?
Down to wish
Pizanno luck.
I like his style.
Is the car okay, Barney?
It's fine, Fred.
That flip didn't
hurt it a bit.
Uh-Oh, here comes
mr. Slate.
Remember,
I'm Goggles Pizanno.
Okay, Goggles.
If he finds out it's me,
I'll get fired for sure.
My name's Slate.
[Italian accent]
uh...I'm Goggles Pizanno
From the old country.
You look just like
a fella who works for me.
He's a good a-Man, no?
"He's a good a-Man, no"
is right.
What about this race?
You think
you'll win?
That's a-Right.
I'm going to win
this race.
Hey, goggles,
they're lining up.
You better
get out there.
Good luck, goggles.
Thank you very much.
Hey, it worked.
He thinks
you're Goggles Pizanno.
I am
Goggles Pizanno.
Ha ha ha!
The cars are taking
their position on the track.
The pace car
is now in position.
And the cars
are picking up speed.
Other drivers are ron boulderson
in car number 7,
And Goggles Pizanno,
driving car 8.
I think I'll cross
my fingers and toes.
And last are cars 9 and 10,
Driven by Rockfoot Johnson
and wheels axlepole.
I can't get over
how much Pizanno
Looks like Flintstone.
The cars are now coming out
of the north turn.
They're in good formation
and picking up speed.
Oh, dear!
We'll never get there
in time to stop them.
The pace car's pulling over.
They're going to start.
The flagman gives them
the green flag.
They're off!
There they go!
What a race
this is gonna be.
In the first turn,
Rocken Mcshale has the lead.
Limey Whitecliffs,
Weenie Rockton,
And Bruce Gravelway
are tramping on his tail.
Goggles Pizanno is number 8,
Zig-Zagging, looking
for an opening.
Pizanno drives like someone
Coming home from work
on the freeway.
Watch it!
Coming through!
Here comes
rockfoot johnson.
He's passing
Goggles Pizanno.
Pizanno is in a spin.
He comes out of the spin.
Pizanno's gotten
turned around.
He's going the wrong way.
Look out!
Hey, you guys,
you're going the wrong way!
What's the matter?
You're going
the wrong way.
Why didn't you tell me?
Pizanno is driving
his rubstone special
Wide open in reverse.
He's barreling around
the track backwards
In a wild attempt
to overtake the pack.
Pizanno is catching up.
He's passed Johnson...
and Axlepole...
and now Gravelway.
How about that, folks?!
By driving backwards,
Pizanno has gained
all the advantages
Of a rear-Engine job.
Look out! He's headed
for an oil slick!
He jumped it.
Uh-Oh. Looks like Gravelway
may be in a little trouble.
Now, they're in the stretch.
Pizanno is looking
for an opening.
I hope we're in time.
Come on. Let's go.
Pizanno has just passed
Clint Mcflint,
And he's attempting
to squeeze through
Between Boulderson
and Axlepole.
Ease over, fellas.
I can't hold it back
any longer.
Careful, Fred!
Fred, come back here!
Pizanno just squeezed
Between Boulderson
and Axlepole,
And is right behind
number 6,
Riding in his slip screen.
Pizanno is gaining
on the leader
As they approach
the north turn.
Uh-Oh, Mcflint's in a skid
And heading for the fence...
followed by Pizanno.
I don't how he did it,
But Pizanno's back
in the race.
He's overtaking the pack.
As they go into
the north turn--
Uh-Oh, Pizanno's
hit the turn too fast.
I see it, but
I don't believe it.
He's actually driving
on the side of the wall.
[Crowd cheering]
I've never seen
such a display
Of speed and skill.
He drives like--
I know, like
he's coming home
From work
on the freeway.
Look, there's Barney.
Let's get over there.
Maybe Barney can stop Fred.
Pizanno's well
in the lead now.
He looks like a sure winner.
Uh-Oh, he's slowing down.
The pack is beginning
to pass him.
Barney, I want you
to stop Fred this minute.
Oh, boy.
How come you fellas
aren't at work?
We were going to
win first prize
And surprise you girls
With college funds for
Pebbles and bamm-Bamm,
But there's no chance now.
Why not?
Because Fred's wheels
are chipping off.
They're getting
smaller, and smaller,
And he's going
slower and slower. Look.
Pizanno is
trying desperately
To hold on
to his 10-Lap lead,
But his wheels
are worn down to the hub.
Come on, Fred!
Come on!
Pizanno is close
to the finish line.
But he's losing
his lead fast.
Brick Bailey is
leading the pack
Into the final lap.
It's still anybody's race.
Hurry, Fred!
Faster! Faster!
Pizanno approaches
the finish line.
He stopped.
He has no wheels at all.
And here they come.
Come on, Fred!
You can still win!
Come on! Come on!
Pizanno crossed
the finish line first.
Goggles Pizanno
is the winner!
You did it, Fred!
You did it!
$50,000!
Congratulations!
Ooh...
you big, wonderful,
hunk of man.
If that's
Goggles Pizanno,
Flintstone has a problem
with his wife.
Where you going?
Down to
congratulate Pizanno.
Oh, Fred.
I'm so proud of you.
$50,000! Wow!
Your attention,
ladies and gentlemen.
Your attention, please.
Because his car didn't
finish under its own power,
Goggles Pizanno
has been disqualified.
[Crowd booing]
Brick Bailey is the winner.
$50,000 gone.
I'm sorry, Wilma.
We wanted to get
that college fund
For Pebbles
and bamm-Bamm.
Don't worry, Fred.
Fred? So you are
Fred Flintstone.
I knew all along.
Thought you
could fool me
With that
phony accent, huh?
Mr. Slate,
I can explain.
Sneaking off
from work like that.
I'm gonna
have to fire you
On the principle
of it.
Nothing personal,
you understand.
Just the principle.
How would you gentlemen
like to earn $5,000?
5,000? Boy, would we.
Gee, I'll say.
Good. Here
are your checks.
All you have to do is
stand beside your car,
And read these cards
on tv.
Tv? Are they
going to be on tv?
That's right, mister.
Now, here are the cards.
Will you gentlemen
read them?
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Alright, roll it!
"This time
we lost...
"but next time
we'll race...
"with flintrock
wheels
And set the pace."
Oh, great. Just great.
Thanks, fellas.
Folks? Folks, let me
tell you something.
Goggles Pizanno
is really Fred Flintstone,
Who works for the slate
construction company.
You mean
I'm not fired?
Oh, of course not.
Fred has been with me
for many years,
And he does fine work.
So don't forget.
If you want a house
that's great,
Just call on Slate.
I guess we can start
those college funds after all.
Sure looks
like it, Fred.
Barney, before
we go any further--
I know what
you're gonna say.
And I promise
not to build
any more
racing cars.
From now on,
I'll restrict my hobbies
to the backyard.
What about you,
Fred?
[Italian accent]
it's-A look like Goggles Pizanno
Has drove
his last-a race.
From now on,
He's only going to drive
on the freeway.
[Italian accent]
looks-A like Goggles Pizanno
Is hanging up
his goggles.
That's a-Right.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Someday, maybe Fred
Will win the fight
Then that cat will stay out
For the night
When you're
With the Flintstones
Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time
A dabba-Doo time
We'll have a gay old time
We'll have a gay old time
Wilma!
He's passing
Goggles Pizanno.
Pizanno is in a spin.
He comes out of the spin.
Pizanno's gotten
turned around.
He's going the wrong way.
Look out!
Hey, you guys,
you're going the wrong way!
What's the matter?
You're going
the wrong way.
Why didn't you tell me?
[Toot]
Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Let's ride with the family
down the street
Through the courtesy
Of Fred's two feet
When you're
with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time
A dabba-Doo time
We'll have a gay old time
[Snoring]
[Giggling]
[Arr arr arr]
[Hop hop hop]
[Giggling]
[Arr arr arr]
[Hop hop hop]
[Snoring]
[Hammering]
Oh, no. Don't tell me
Rubble's at it again.
That guy's getting to be
public pest number one.
Well, there's
only one thing to do.
Go over
and silence that hammer.
The nerve of that guy,
Waking people up
with his hammering.
Rubble's going to have to
be taught
To show some respect
for his fellow man,
And I'm just the fellow man
who can teach him.
Alright, Rubble,
where are you?
Hiding, eh?
Well, I'm going to--
Yiii-Eee!
Oh, hiya, Fred.
And what,
may I ask,
Do you think
you're doing?
I'm, uh, hammering.
I know
you're hammering!
You woke me up
with your hammering!
Oh, uh, sorry, Fred.
Now, I'm asking you
like a gentleman.
Stop the hammering.
Okay, Fred,
in a minute.
There. That does it.
I'll say, that does it!
Get me out of here!
I'm getting. I'm getting.
Well, what do you think,
Fred?
What do I think
about what?
My new sport car.
Built it myself.
Isn't she a beauty?
Alright, it's a beauty.
So what?
Will it run?
Well, it should.
Oh, yeah? Why?
Well, it's got a blue
flint Rockarri engine
With a granite
rock block.
Are you trying
to tell me something?
Yeah, it's
a 6 liter flat 12
That will develop 250 dp
at 10,000 rpms.
Dp? What's dp?
Dinosaur power.
Very impressive.
It's got 6 overhead
carbo shafts,
2 agate fuel
injection systems,
And a 7-Speed
marble gear box.
Wow, a 7-Speed
gear box
And 2 agitated
fuel rejection systems?
What are you
talking about?!
Just listen to this.
[Rumbling]
Ain't that
a beautiful rumble?
Sounds great.
Just think, Fred.
250 dinosaurs all
working together
Down there
under the hood.
Ha ha ha!
[Engine revs]
[Brakes screech]
Hey, listen
to this throbbing,
pulsating piece
of machinery.
How does it feel?
Ooh, it's a little
spooky, Fred.
You want to
give it a whirl?
Okay, Barney.
Don't mind if I do.
Hey, let's see now.
What do I do first?
Buckle your
seat belt.
Aw, seat belts
are for kids.
How does this thing work?
Okay, release
the brake.
Release the brake.
Now, ease the shift
back one notch,
And away you go.
Ease it back one notch,
And away I goooooo!
Help!
How do you stop it?!
Help!
Help!
Somebody do something!
Watch out
on the other end!
How do you stop it?
Hit the brake, Fred!
Hit the brake!
Boy, were you
traveling, Fred.
I told you to buckle
the seat belt.
Rubble, you should be
put away someplace.
What's the idea,
Building a contraption
like that?
But, Fred--
There are kids
in this neighborhood,
People on the crosswalks,
Cars on the streets
and highways.
Well, sure,
Fred, but--
Now, you put that thing
in the garage
And don't ever
get it out,
Or I'll report you
to the authorities!
Okay, Fred.
That thing is a weapon,
An uncontrolled,
unconcealed weapon,
And you are
a menace to society!
Sheesh!
Oh, this will be
such a cute dress
For Pebbles.
I still say
She should have
used taffeta.
Oh, boy, that Rubble
Is a menace
to the neighborhood.
Do you know what
I've been thinking, Fred?
I'll get a petition
and force him to move.
We should start saving up
a college fund for Pebbles.
I'm telling you, Wilma.
That guy is
some kind of a nut.
Neither one's
heard a word
The other's been saying.
Fred Flintstone,
you haven't heard
A single word
I've been saying.
Huh? Did you say
something, Wilma?
Yes, I did.
I said we should
start a college fund
For Pebbles.
Oh.
I hope I'm not too late
for the baseball scores.
A college education
would ensure her future.
Well, it's a good idea,
But what will
we use for money?
That's what I was wondering.
It takes
all I make right now
Just to keep body
and soul together.
But we have to think
of Pebbles' future.
Announcer:
and that concludes
The baseball scores
for today.
Missed it. Oh, well.
From all over the world,
Race fans are thronging
to indianrockolis
For the annual
500 mile auto race.
Boy, I'd like
to see that sometime.
The world's top drivers
are there
With their fastest cars,
Each hoping to drive away
With that
$50,000 first prize.
Wow! 50,000 bucks!
Hey, why don't we go to
indianrockolis, Wilma?
It's not very far.
Fred, you amaze me.
Our child's future
is at stake,
And all you think about
is an auto race.
Oh, but, Wilma,
You'd enjoy
seeing those cars
Barrel around
that track. Varoom!
Fred, why don't
you go outside
And varoom
the lawnmower around?
The lawn has needed
cutting for a week.
Oh, boy.
[Humming]
Hi, barn.
Oh, I'm not making
any noise, Fred.
I'm polishing
very quietly.
Oh, never mind that.
Listen, have you got
a college fund
Set up for bamm-Bamm?
A college fund?
Gosh, no.
I'm still paying
on his milk fund.
Oh, stop with the jokes.
Think seriously
about this problem.
I've been thinking
about it, Fred.
There's something wrong
between my dp
And my gear ratio.
What are you
talking about?
It makes it
too fast.
It ought to be on
a track someplace.
What did you say?
You were right
about this car.
It's too hot to
drive around town.
It belongs
on a racetrack.
That's it, Barney.
That's it.
What's it, Fred?
We're going to enter
this hot little job
In the Indianrockolis 500
And win that $50,000.
Well, gosh, Fred.
I don't know--
Listen, Barney,
Pebbles and bamm-Bamm
Have got to
have an education.
Well, yeah, but--
And this is our chance
to get their college funds
Tucked away
nice and secure.
This job's a strain
in the neck.
It takes money
to race a car, Fred.
Here, hold this,
will you?
Sure, but don't worry
about expense.
We'll get an advance
on our salaries.
I don't think Betty
would like that.
Neither would Wilma,
but we won't tell 'em.
Hey, this is getting heavy.
Where do you
want me to put it?
Just drop it
anywhere, Fred.
Okay.
Ow! Ohh!
My foot!
Have to
watch yourself, Fred.
You can get hurt
working around a car.
Now you tell me.
I'm sorry, Fred.
And now,
about this racing,
First, we have to
hire a driver.
Hire a driver?
Listen,
I'm going to drive.
You, Fred?
Sure, that will be
My main contribution
to our partnership.
You'll be pit man,
the mechanical genius,
And I'll drive.
Varoom!
Well, judging by the way
You drive home
on the freeway,
You ought to do
real good at Indianrockolis.
Ha ha ha!
I'm telling you,
Barney,
That 50,000 is as
good as in the bag.
What do you say,
partner?
Is it a deal?
Okay, it's a deal.
Hey, we'll have to
get off from work
The day of the race.
My boss owes me a day off.
It's no problem for me.
Me, neither.
I got my boss
mr. Slateright
In the palm
of my hand.
He wouldn't dare
say no.
No, no, no,
Flintstone!
You may not take
tomorrow off!
I pay you to
stay on the job,
And that's exactly
What you're
going to do.
Is that clear,
Flintstone?
Yes, sir.
Any other questions?
No, sir.
Then get back
to work.
Yes, sir.
[Muttering]
What did you say,
Flintstone?
Oh, I said
briken rack-A-Frack
Maken frints a-Brontus.
Oh, I didn't
hear you.
Okay, we're all set.
Let's go.
Off to the races!
Barney, shh! Keep
your voice down.
You wanna wake
Wilma and Betty?
Oh, sorry, Fred.
I didn't think.
Barney,
in this business,
You got to be thinking
all the time.
Okay, Fred. I'll throw on
my thinking switch.
Ha ha ha!
Oh, quit
the clowning.
Come on, let's go.
I went
to the track
With my car
hopped up
Doo-Dah, doo-Dah
I'll come back home
with a winner's cup
Doo doo-Doo-Doo
da-Day
Goin' to drive
all night
Goin' to drive
all day
Bet the time on
the auto rubstone special
Better get out
of the way
[Laughing]
Why are we
stopping here, Fred?
I want you
to phone my boss
And tell him in bed
I'm home with a cold.
Well, how come?
Well, if he thinks
I'm home sick,
He won't be
calling Wilma,
And she'll think
I'm at work.
I get it, Fred.
You think it will work?
Sure, all you do
is disguise your voice
To sound like Wilma.
Okay, Fred,
if you say so.
Hey, what's
the number?
Area code is 535...
535.
The number is 235...
235-3659.
Oh, boy.
That's the Bedrock exchange.
Uh, hello.
Mr. Slate?
Disguise your voice.
[High-Pitched voice]
hello, mr. Slate.
This is Wilma,
Fred Flintstone's wife.
Yes,
mrs. Flintstone.
I just want to--
Disguise your voice.
I mean, I just
wanted to tell you
Fred is home in bed
with a bad cold.
What? Yeah,
I know I sound strange.
You have a bad cold, too.
I have a bad cold, too.
Yes, I'll
take care of him.
Oh, you are?
Well, have a good time.
Goodbye, mr. Slate.
What did I tell you?
All my ideas work.
I gotta hand it
to you, Fred.
You're pretty tricky.
Sometimes I say,
"Alexander, it might have
been better
If you never had invented
this telephone."
What was that you
said to mr. Slate
About having
a good time?
Uh, bad news, Fred.
Slate's going to be
at the race today.
He'll spot you for sure.
Eh, well,
don't worry.
I'll use
a fake name,
And I'll keep my helmet
and goggles on.
Nobody will
recognize me.
[Baby talk]
Yes, Pebbles,
You and bamm-Bamm
may go out and play.
They're so cute
at this age.
Yes, they are.
And bamm-Bamm's such
a little gentleman
With Pebbles.
Oh, dear.
Your door, Wilma.
I wish bamm-Bamm
would realize
How strong he is.
That's alright.
He means well.
Yes. He reminds me
of Barney.
You know, Barney did
the sweetest thing
This morning.
He let me sleep,
and when I woke up,
He'd already gone
to work.
Fred did
the same thing.
I kind of missed
Barney's usual
Early morning
greeting of,
"Good morning, Betty,
And a howdy-Do-Do
to youty-Too-Too."
Fred's a riot, too,
With his
early morning questions.
"Wilma, where's my razor?
"Wilma, where's
my morning grape juice?
Wilma, where's breakfast?"
[Laughing]
Oh, Wilma.
I wonder why
they had to leave
So early.
I don't know.
My intuition
tells me
They're
up to something.
Mine, too.
Oh, but I guess
We shouldn't be
so suspicious.
No, we really
shouldn't.
Come on, let's watch
The early, early
fashion show on tv.
Good idea.
We have a last-Minute entry,
ladies and gentlemen.
Goggles pizanno, driving
the rubstone special.
You can see him
down in the pit
Getting ready
for his time trial.
You say this is a 250
dinosaur power engine?
That's right, goggles.
Sounds like half of 'em
are sound asleep.
Don't worry, goggles.
I'll wake 'em up.
Hey, you guys,
If you're gonna
try to qualify,
You got to go now.
Rev her up, Fred.
Them dinosaurs are
up and kicking now.
Okay, take her away!
Pizanno's
coming onto the track,
Ladies and gentlemen.
He's refusing the usual
warm-Up lap.
He accepts the flag,
And there he goes!
I thought you didn't
care for racing, Wilma.
Well, Fred's
so wild about it,
At least I can
tell him who won
When he gets home
from work.
This is the time trial
for Goggles Pizanno.
He's driving
like a wild man.
Watch it! He's in trouble
on the north turn!
He's in a spin.
He's headed for the wall!
Look at that!
He's driving up
the side of the wall. Wow!
Now he's looping
in midair.
He's back on the track,
heading into the home stretch.
What a driver! What a car!
What a wild man!
Remember that name:
Goggles Pizanno.
He's pouring everything
into his rubstone special
In an attempt to qualify
for the Indianrockolis 500.
All I can say is
that Goggles Pizanno
Drives a lot
like Fred
Coming home
on the freeway.
Pizanno is burning up
the track
As he nears the finish line.
Look at that combination
of skill and speed!
And no hands!
That was Goggles Pizanno
in the rubstone special.
His qualifying time of 1.05
Sets a new track record.
[Crowd cheering]
There's Barney!
I'd know that figure
anywhere.
And that
looks like Fred.
But he wouldn't
be crazy enough
To drive
in that race.
Or would he?
He would.
They are
going to race.
Oh, let's get over there
and stop them.
We're too young
to collect insurance.
We can take my car.
We'll drop the kids off
at the nursery.
Alright, Wilma,
but hurry!
Goggles Pizanno
Completes the list
of qualifying drivers.
The race is about to begin.
I wouldn't have
believed it.
Believed what, slate?
That another
human being
Could look like
Fred Flintstone.
It's amazing,
but Goggles Pizanno
Looks more
like Flintstone
Than Flintstone.
Where are you going?
Down to wish
Pizanno luck.
I like his style.
Is the car okay, Barney?
It's fine, Fred.
That flip didn't
hurt it a bit.
Uh-Oh, here comes
mr. Slate.
Remember,
I'm Goggles Pizanno.
Okay, Goggles.
If he finds out it's me,
I'll get fired for sure.
My name's Slate.
[Italian accent]
uh...I'm Goggles Pizanno
From the old country.
You look just like
a fella who works for me.
He's a good a-Man, no?
"He's a good a-Man, no"
is right.
What about this race?
You think
you'll win?
That's a-Right.
I'm going to win
this race.
Hey, goggles,
they're lining up.
You better
get out there.
Good luck, goggles.
Thank you very much.
Hey, it worked.
He thinks
you're Goggles Pizanno.
I am
Goggles Pizanno.
Ha ha ha!
The cars are taking
their position on the track.
The pace car
is now in position.
And the cars
are picking up speed.
Other drivers are ron boulderson
in car number 7,
And Goggles Pizanno,
driving car 8.
I think I'll cross
my fingers and toes.
And last are cars 9 and 10,
Driven by Rockfoot Johnson
and wheels axlepole.
I can't get over
how much Pizanno
Looks like Flintstone.
The cars are now coming out
of the north turn.
They're in good formation
and picking up speed.
Oh, dear!
We'll never get there
in time to stop them.
The pace car's pulling over.
They're going to start.
The flagman gives them
the green flag.
They're off!
There they go!
What a race
this is gonna be.
In the first turn,
Rocken Mcshale has the lead.
Limey Whitecliffs,
Weenie Rockton,
And Bruce Gravelway
are tramping on his tail.
Goggles Pizanno is number 8,
Zig-Zagging, looking
for an opening.
Pizanno drives like someone
Coming home from work
on the freeway.
Watch it!
Coming through!
Here comes
rockfoot johnson.
He's passing
Goggles Pizanno.
Pizanno is in a spin.
He comes out of the spin.
Pizanno's gotten
turned around.
He's going the wrong way.
Look out!
Hey, you guys,
you're going the wrong way!
What's the matter?
You're going
the wrong way.
Why didn't you tell me?
Pizanno is driving
his rubstone special
Wide open in reverse.
He's barreling around
the track backwards
In a wild attempt
to overtake the pack.
Pizanno is catching up.
He's passed Johnson...
and Axlepole...
and now Gravelway.
How about that, folks?!
By driving backwards,
Pizanno has gained
all the advantages
Of a rear-Engine job.
Look out! He's headed
for an oil slick!
He jumped it.
Uh-Oh. Looks like Gravelway
may be in a little trouble.
Now, they're in the stretch.
Pizanno is looking
for an opening.
I hope we're in time.
Come on. Let's go.
Pizanno has just passed
Clint Mcflint,
And he's attempting
to squeeze through
Between Boulderson
and Axlepole.
Ease over, fellas.
I can't hold it back
any longer.
Careful, Fred!
Fred, come back here!
Pizanno just squeezed
Between Boulderson
and Axlepole,
And is right behind
number 6,
Riding in his slip screen.
Pizanno is gaining
on the leader
As they approach
the north turn.
Uh-Oh, Mcflint's in a skid
And heading for the fence...
followed by Pizanno.
I don't how he did it,
But Pizanno's back
in the race.
He's overtaking the pack.
As they go into
the north turn--
Uh-Oh, Pizanno's
hit the turn too fast.
I see it, but
I don't believe it.
He's actually driving
on the side of the wall.
[Crowd cheering]
I've never seen
such a display
Of speed and skill.
He drives like--
I know, like
he's coming home
From work
on the freeway.
Look, there's Barney.
Let's get over there.
Maybe Barney can stop Fred.
Pizanno's well
in the lead now.
He looks like a sure winner.
Uh-Oh, he's slowing down.
The pack is beginning
to pass him.
Barney, I want you
to stop Fred this minute.
Oh, boy.
How come you fellas
aren't at work?
We were going to
win first prize
And surprise you girls
With college funds for
Pebbles and bamm-Bamm,
But there's no chance now.
Why not?
Because Fred's wheels
are chipping off.
They're getting
smaller, and smaller,
And he's going
slower and slower. Look.
Pizanno is
trying desperately
To hold on
to his 10-Lap lead,
But his wheels
are worn down to the hub.
Come on, Fred!
Come on!
Pizanno is close
to the finish line.
But he's losing
his lead fast.
Brick Bailey is
leading the pack
Into the final lap.
It's still anybody's race.
Hurry, Fred!
Faster! Faster!
Pizanno approaches
the finish line.
He stopped.
He has no wheels at all.
And here they come.
Come on, Fred!
You can still win!
Come on! Come on!
Pizanno crossed
the finish line first.
Goggles Pizanno
is the winner!
You did it, Fred!
You did it!
$50,000!
Congratulations!
Ooh...
you big, wonderful,
hunk of man.
If that's
Goggles Pizanno,
Flintstone has a problem
with his wife.
Where you going?
Down to
congratulate Pizanno.
Oh, Fred.
I'm so proud of you.
$50,000! Wow!
Your attention,
ladies and gentlemen.
Your attention, please.
Because his car didn't
finish under its own power,
Goggles Pizanno
has been disqualified.
[Crowd booing]
Brick Bailey is the winner.
$50,000 gone.
I'm sorry, Wilma.
We wanted to get
that college fund
For Pebbles
and bamm-Bamm.
Don't worry, Fred.
Fred? So you are
Fred Flintstone.
I knew all along.
Thought you
could fool me
With that
phony accent, huh?
Mr. Slate,
I can explain.
Sneaking off
from work like that.
I'm gonna
have to fire you
On the principle
of it.
Nothing personal,
you understand.
Just the principle.
How would you gentlemen
like to earn $5,000?
5,000? Boy, would we.
Gee, I'll say.
Good. Here
are your checks.
All you have to do is
stand beside your car,
And read these cards
on tv.
Tv? Are they
going to be on tv?
That's right, mister.
Now, here are the cards.
Will you gentlemen
read them?
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Alright, roll it!
"This time
we lost...
"but next time
we'll race...
"with flintrock
wheels
And set the pace."
Oh, great. Just great.
Thanks, fellas.
Folks? Folks, let me
tell you something.
Goggles Pizanno
is really Fred Flintstone,
Who works for the slate
construction company.
You mean
I'm not fired?
Oh, of course not.
Fred has been with me
for many years,
And he does fine work.
So don't forget.
If you want a house
that's great,
Just call on Slate.
I guess we can start
those college funds after all.
Sure looks
like it, Fred.
Barney, before
we go any further--
I know what
you're gonna say.
And I promise
not to build
any more
racing cars.
From now on,
I'll restrict my hobbies
to the backyard.
What about you,
Fred?
[Italian accent]
it's-A look like Goggles Pizanno
Has drove
his last-a race.
From now on,
He's only going to drive
on the freeway.
[Italian accent]
looks-A like Goggles Pizanno
Is hanging up
his goggles.
That's a-Right.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Someday, maybe Fred
Will win the fight
Then that cat will stay out
For the night
When you're
With the Flintstones
Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time
A dabba-Doo time
We'll have a gay old time
We'll have a gay old time
Wilma!