The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 4, Episode 9 - Old Lady Betty - full transcript
Betty wants to purchase a rocking chair for Barney's birthday and is trying to get a small job to help get the money. She founds an ad about a job running errands as an old lady for an handicapped woman on a wheelchair. But she founds strange that she has to change big bills to purchase few items. All that Betty ignores is that is a cover-up as the handicapped lady is a fraud called Greta Gravel, and her accomplice prints counterfeit money to pass on shops and gets change in real money. But what Betty should do when she hears the facts about this scam ?
[car horn honking]
Hey, Freddy boy, let's go.
We'll be late for work.
Coming.
muah
Have a good day, Fred.
Farewell, farewell.
thud
quack quack quack
Hey, hurry up
on your bath, Fred.
There's somebody waiting
to use the tub.
[chuckles]
[theme song]
cawwww
Yabba dabba doo!
Flintstones
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Let's ride with the family
down the street
Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet
When you're
with the Flintstones
Have a yabba dabba doo time
A dabba doo time
You'll have a gay old time
Giddy up! Giddy up!
Giddy up, Dino!
Giddy up! Giddy up!
[chuckling]
woof woof woof
Taking good care
of Pebbles, Dino?
woof woof woof
'Oh, that's nice.'
[humming]
quack
- 'Hi, Wilma.'
- Hi, Betty.
Hi, Pebbles.
Hi, Dino.
[Pebbles babbling]
woof woof woof
Okay, that looks like fun.
[giggling]
Wilma, I've just decided.
Fine. Decided what?
To get a new chair
for Barney.
Oh? I didn't know
he needed one.
quack
You know how
he's always complaining
about how uncomfortable
he gets watching TV.
I thought why not get him a nice
easy chair for a surprise.
Aren't they
pretty expensive, Betty?
Well, sort of.
That's why I came over.
I brought the want ads.
I thought you could help me
look for a part time job.
You look in that section,
I'll look in this.
Hmm, alright.
Here's one,
"Wanted, ticket taker
for Roller Rock Derby.
Apply, manager."
Oh, good, let's see.
"It.."
Oh, no.
I can't apply for that.
Why not?
It sounds easy.
But it's at night.
This has to be during the day
while Barney's at work.
Wock wock. Wock wock.
Dino, wock wock.
You're gonna keep this
a secret from Barney?
Well, of course. I..
Oh, Wilma, look at Pebbles
and Dino. Isn't that cute?
[chuckling]
Wock wock. Wock wock.
Wock wock. That her word
for rocking chair.
That gives me an idea.
I won't get Barney an easy
chair, I'll get him a rocker.
Why not
let Barney pay for it?
No, I want it
to be a surprise.
Oh. Oh, I guess
you're right.
- Hmm.
- Find something interesting?
Well, sort of.
" Wanted, kindly elderly lady
"for easy work,
no experience necessary.
Daytime only, Good pay."
Hmm, too bad
you're not at an old lady.
[imitating old lady]
Ey, what's that?
You'll have to
speak up, miss.
My hearing isn't
what is used to be.
Why.. Why that's wonderful!
Not bad, huh?
Oh, if they never had
to see you, it'd be perfect.
Wait a second. Come on, in
the house. I got an idea.
- Wha-what do you've in mind?
- I-I'll show you in a minute.
Take good care
of Pebbles, Dino.
woof woof woof
thud
Remember last Halloween?
I was gonna
dress up like a witch.
Well, try this wig on.
Alright.
How's that?
That makes
a big difference!
Here, now,
put this shawl around you.
And I've got some
eye glasses some place.
Oh, yes, here they are.
Let's see, anything else?
Betty, is that really you?
I'm sorry, dearie.
She just left.
[laughs]
Wonderful!
Here, just one more thing.
This old umbrella.
Thank you kindly, miss.
Oh, Betty, it's prefect!
[car approaching]
Oh, gosh that must be
Fred and Barney.
Thanks for the lift,
Barney boy.
You are welcome, Fred.
See you later.
vroom
Might as well
find out right now
how good I am
at fooling people.
- Gosh, I don't--
- Hiya, sweetheart, I'm home.
muah
Oh, excuse me.
Um, company?
Yes, it's ah--
Hello there, sonny.
I'm Mrs. Old Lady.
Mrs. Old Lady?
Glad to meet you.
(Barney)
'Fred?'
Yeah?
(Barney)
'Betty over there?'
Nope.
Well, I better be on my way.
And, nice to see you, sonny.
Goodbye, Wilma.
- Goodbye.
- Hold it, hold it.
- Allow me, ma'am.
- How nice!
Are you sure,
you haven't seen Betty, Fred?
Oh, uh, maybe she's out
sh-s-shopping, Barney.
Oh, oh, excuse me.
Company?
Just leaving, young fella.
Yeah, Barney.
This is a friend of Wilma's.
Mrs. Old Lady.
Barney Rubble
at your service.
Say, uh,
you remind me of somebody.
Now, who could it be?
Oh, I got it,
my mother-in-law.
Right, Fred?
Say, that's right!
That's very nice of you
to say that.
[Barney laughing]
What an old battleaxe she is.
Right, Freddy?
Ha, ha, you ain't kiddin'.
[both laughing]
thump
[chuckles]
Oh, excuse me, sonny.
My umbrella slipped.
Nice old lady.
[laughing]
Packs a real wallop,
too, huh, bud?
Ha, ha, ha.
Hmph! That'll teach him to talk
about my mother like that!
I better get home
and get out of this disguise.
Old battleaxe, huh?
(Barney)
'Hi, Betty.
You're home.'
Oh, oh, um, hmm, yeah.
Say, ah,
you meet that nice
little old lady
at the Flintstones?
Ah, no.
Funny thing, she reminds me
of your mother.
Oh, so you said.
Yeah, I..
I did? When?
I mean, does she?
Yeah, ah..
Does she what?
Remind you of my mother.
Didn't I say so?
[imitating Barney chuckling]
What a battleaxe she is,
right, Freddy?
Oh, honey!
You hadn't oughta talk
that way about your own mother.
Ooooh!
I'm going next door
for a minute.
Keep an eye
on Pebbles, Dino.
woof woof woof
Giddy up! Giddy up! Giddy up!
Oh, hi, Betty. I just
came over to wish you luck.
Thanks, Wilma!
The-the appointment's
for 9:00 sharp.
How do I look?
[imitating old lady]
I-I mean, how do I look, dearie?
Just like Barney's
mother-in-law.
[both giggling]
Shooh!
Why couldn't the ad have called
for a kindly young woman?
Few days of walking like this
and I won't be able
to straighten up.
"One eighty-five."
This is it.
[imitating old lady]
Well, good luck to me.
[giggling]
knock knock knock
- Yeah?
- How do you do?
I'm the one who called
about your ad.
(male #1)
'Come in.'
Ms. Greta Gravel
will see you in the study.
Um, thank you kindly.
Yes?
Hello there, ma'am.
About the ad, did you--
Oh, you look like
a nice kind little old lady.
That's me. Um, ah,
I mean, yes indeedy.
[chuckling]
What's your name?
Um, Miss Rubble.
Ah, maiden lady, eh?
Yeah, but I'm
still lookin'.
[both laughing]
Oh, and a sense
of humor, too.
Oh, my, I do like
a sense of humor.
Ah, you can see
I can't get around too good.
I need somebody
to do my shopping
and run little errands
for me.
But the man
who let me in--
Oh, my butler? Yes.
Well, I could send him
but I don't like being
left alone in the house.
Oh, of course.
Oh, I think you'll do fine.
Here, dearie, you take this
and go down to the supermarket
and get me a loaf
of whole rock bread.
(Betty)
'A $100 bill?'
Yes. Bring me back
the change.
Well, of course, but is that
all? Just a loaf of bread?
[laughs]
Well, I'll be thinking
while you're gone.
Now, run along, dearie.
'Ninety-nine, ninety-nine fifty,
sixty, seventy.'
Oh! And here's the bread.
My, how quick
you were, dearie.
Now, I'm all out
of toothpaste.
Will you get me a tube?
Small size.
And bring back the change.
Another $100 bill?
Oh, I hate small change.
[laughs]
Be sure it's the kind
with fluorostone.
Here's your change
from the toothpaste.
Thank you.
Now, I have one last errand
for you today, Miss Rubble.
Here's another $100 bill.
Take his letter
to the post office
and mail it
and bring back the change.
Air mail?
No no no, regular.
We don't want to be
throwing money away, do we?
[laughing]
Four hundred dollars?
And all you brought was a stamp,
a loaf of bread and toothpaste?
Isn't that
kinda strange, Betty?
I suppose, but you know
how some old ladies are.
Kinda set in their ways.
'Yes, I guess so.'
crack crack
Oh, dear, that happens every
time I try to hang a picture.
I know, they don't
build houses like they used to.
Anyway, it's her money,
and the work is easy.
And you know something, Wilma?
It's fun carrying
all that money around
even if it's not mine.
It makes me feel rich.
I can imagine.
There! No one will know
I goofed.
You're so artistic!
[both laugh]
Three hundred and ninety-eight
dollars and sixty-five cents.
Gotta hand it to you,
doll face.
This is the smoothest
con game I ever saw.
And the best part of it is..
...she doesn't suspect a thing.
Oh, boy, it feels good
to stand up!
That chair was killin' me.
How long before we can
shake these bird, Stony?
Tomorrow you keep
the old dame on $100 bills
the next day, we'll try out
the five hundreds.
If they go..
whoosh
...we'll start on
the $1000 bills.
Let's see
how our crew is doing.
Yeah, we ought to
clear 50 grand
in good money
in a couple of weeks.
Keep the pressures rolling.
Ha, ha, ha.
Now, that's what I call
a production line, Stony.
toing toing
(Stony)
'They're still working
on a $100 bills.'
Yikes!
Watch it, Charlie,
wait for the bell.
Hey, Barn, you going to work
today or not? We're late.
Be right there.
muah
Have a good day, Bets.
You too, Barney.
See you tonight.
Hiya, Wilma.
Morning, Barney.
Nice day, isn't it?
Gosh, Wilma, I thought
Barney would never leave.
- Do me a favor, will you?
- Sure.
Stay here outside
and keep your eye on Barney.
I'll get my disguise on.
- Oh-oh.
- Now what?
Forgot my car keys.
Be right back.
Oh, boy!
Uh-oh, he's coming back.
Good morning, Barney.
Nice day, isn't it?
Hey, didn't we
just go through this?
You're a real
early bird, Barney!
And it's the early bird that
catches the worm. Isn't it?
Why would I want
to go around catching worms?
You certainly look
wide awake, Barney!
So do you, Wilma!
Oh, gosh, I wonder
what Barney forgot?
'Uh, what did you
forget, Barney?'
(Barney)
'I forgot my car keys!'
- Your what?
- What's all the screaming for?
Who scr..
Um, who's screaming?
You forgot
your car keys, Barney.
Uh, thanks.
See you later.
Uh, say, Betty, since when
do you wear glasses?
W-wha.. Who? Me?
Oh, ha, ha, I..
I put them there
to keep them out of the way.
Out of the way of what?
So I wouldn't step on them?
T-t-they belong to the plumber.
What plumber?
T-t-the one who
was here yesterday.
Yeah? What for?
Um, he-he was taking a survey.
He wanted to know
what kind of water we use.
Barney, come on, let's go!
We're late!
Oh, sure, Fred, sure.
I'll see you later, I guess.
Oh, boy,
that was close.
Too close.
I'm glad I don't have
to keep this up much longer.
I'll have enough money
for his rocking chair
by the end of the week..
...or my name
isn't Miss Old Lady.
[chuckles]
Hey, Fred, what kind
of water do you use?
What kind of water
do I use?
There's only one kind,
stupid, wet.
Now step on it!
We're late enough as it is.
What a day I put in today!
Seems like she sent me
all over town.
And on top of that, I still
have to get Barney's dinner.
[car horn blaring]
Oh, here he comes now.
Hi, dear,
you're getting home early.
Oh, yeah,
not much traffic--
screech
What did you say?
Oh, I.. I said, "Hello, sonny.
What's on your mind, sonny?"
Oh, uh..
clang clank
I-I just thought
I heard my wife.
Oh, you must be
hearin' things, sonny.
[chuckles]
Yeah I must be.
So long.
vroom
Oh, dear!
I've got to get into
the house before he does
and get out of this disguise.
swoosh
Betty, I'm home.
'Betty, where are you?'
(Betty)
'In the closet.'
In the closet?
What are you doin' in there?
N-n-nothing.
Mind if I join you?
Heh, heh, heh.
Oh, don't be silly!
Oh, fine. You're standing
in the closet, and I'm silly.
Sit down and relax
while I fix dinner.
This just isn't one of my days.
Oh, boy, I thought
he had me that time.
Barney's harder to fool
than that nice old lady
I'm working for.
Busy, busy, busy,
aren't we?
Maybe when this is all over
I'll apply
for an acting job on TV.
[imitating old lady]
Hello out there, in TV land.
This is Old Lady Betty
bringing you--
Hey, were you
calling me, Betty.
No, I wasn't, sonny,
but, but, but..
[coughing]
I must have picked up
a cough somewhere.
You picked up a cough,
and I'm starting to hear things.
Hey, maybe we better
call Doc Boulder home.
Aaa.
Oh, Betty, I look awful.
Nonsense, dear.
You'll be fine.
Just as soon as
I get in your new..
Get me my new what?
Dinner. That's it.
It'll be ready in a jiffy.
My new dinner?
clank clank
That's what I mean.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
You've done
just fine, dearie.
My, I'm so
pleased with you!
Oh, thank you,
Ms. Gravel.
[laughs]
And to show you
how much I trust you
here's a $1000 bill,
I'm all out of five hundreds.
Isn't that terrible?
Yes. No.
And now then
your first errand
today is to run down
to the Bedrock
department store
and get me a package
of hair pins.
Hair pins? Why can't I get all
the things you need in one trip?
I mean, I keep coming back
and getting more money
and going back out..
Now, now, you have to allow
an old lady to have her way.
- I'm eccentric, you know.
- Ohh! Yes, of course.
[both laugh]
Bye-bye. Hurry back
with the change.
slam
Okay, Stony, she's gone.
She had me worried there
for a minute, doll.
Her? Hah! Oh, it's a shame
we can't take her with us
when we blow this cover.
Yeah, she's the best front
we ever had.
Heh, heh, heh.
(Betty)
'Hi, Barney.'
Oh, hi there.
Oh, good,
just in time for the news.
And now
for the local news.
The Bedrock police
announced this afternoon
that a ring
of counterfeiters
is operating
in the Bedrock area.
'A number of $100
and $500 bills'
'have been passed
at local stores.'
And several $1000 bills
have been passed.
Da-da-dub-dub..
The only clue police have
is the description
of kindly old lady
who has been in every store.
Police are now searching
for this little old lady.
Hey, what's the matter?
Uh, I need air.
Anyone seen this lady
will please contact
the police department.
Da-da-da..
What's the matter with you?
I need some air.
screech
You heard?
Yes. Oh, you poor dear.
Oh, Wilma, what am I
going to do?
I don't know.
[both crying]
Alright, alright,
what's going on?
Yeah, that's what I wanna know.
What's all the crying for?
[continue crying]
I knew it. Something's going on
and I want to know what it is.
Hold it.
Let me handle this.
Now, girls, whatever it is..
Uh, what is it?
[crying]
Oh, swell! You handled it
just great, Freddy boy.
One more crack
out you, Barney
and there'll be
a new moonshot tonight.
Now, Wilma.
Yes, Fred?
What is going on?
We might as well
tell them.
Yes, they'll find out
when I'm in jail anyway.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
All I wanted to do
is buy you a rocking chair.
So I answered
this ad in the newspaper.
And that's the whole story.
How did I know
the money was counterfeit?
- Oh, boy!
- You can say that again.
Oh, boy!
Barney, dear,
will you wait for me?
Why? Where are you going?
I mean while I'm in prison.
Will you wait for me?
Well depends on
how long you're gonna..
- I mean, sure, I'll wait.
- Oh, Barney!
What's all this talk
about prison?
- 'Think they'll let her go?'
- Certainly.
Especially when she helps
trap the crooks.
- 'Hmm?'
- 'Huh?'
What would you people
do without me around?
Heh, heh.
Now, here's what we'll do.
Betty shows up tomorrow
like nothing happened.
They give her some more
counterfeit dough
she gives it to me
'I take it to the cops,
and we got the evidence.'
Boy, I wouldn't be surprised
if I wind up
with a big fat reward!
- You? It's my wife--
- Well, it's my idea
So, we split 50-50.
This is the place.
screech
Now, remember, Betty
you get the phony money
and bring it back to me.
Gee, I'm a little nervous.
Oh, you got nothing
to worry about, hon.
Me and Fred will be
right here. Right, Fred?
You bet. If they try
anything, you just yell out
and me and Barney
will run for help.
Oh, fine. You don't know
how much better I feel.
Hello, Miss Old Lady
reporting for work.
Just a minute.
Get your stuff on.
It's the old gal.
Send her away. We've gotta
pack and lam out of here.
Use your head, doll.
The cops are on to us.
We gotta throw them
off the trail.
So we give the old girl
a good bill.
One of the twenties.
And by the time
they get around to us
we'll be gone with the loot.
It's perfect!
Let her in, dearie.
Heh, heh, heh.
I hope Betty's alright.
Yeah me, too.
[Dino whimpering]
woof woof woof
Here she comes.
I got it!
I got it! I got it!
Right. Now, hop in.
Let's get to the police station
and get my reward.
vroom
(male #2)
'Now, let me get this straight.'
'You say you're the old lady
we've been looking for.'
And this bill,
it's a counterfeit 20?
You bet your life
its counterfeit.
You keep out of this, fatso.
Lady, I never
argue with women.
But you are out
of your pretty little head.
I am not!
rrrr
- Is the dog leashed?
- What's that got to do with it?
City ordinance,
ten buck fine.
Listen, we're talking
about counterfeiters!
And I'm talking
about screwballs.
You got any idea
how many crack pots
come in to confess some crime?
Why don't you go on home?
Please.
But what about
that counterfeit bill?
(officer #1)
'Oh, yeah, the bill.'
Here you are, lady.
It's good.
Do you understand?
Go on,
before I run you in
for letting your animal
out without a leash.
grrrrr
What do we do now, Fred?
I don't know.
I..
Hey, what are you doing?
Uh, this your car?
Yeah, what's the idea
of the ticket?
Parked by a fire plug.
Fire plug. Uh, oh yeah.
Gosh, officer, you see, I was--
(officer #2)
'Just what do you think
would happen if we had a fire?'
What fires?
The whole town's made of rock.
The end of a perfect day.
Hey, Fred,
where are you going?
If we can't get
the police to believe us
maybe, they'll believe
the crooks.
vroom
Hey! Hey, that's my motorcycle!
Help! Police!
What am I sayin'?
I'm a policeman.
[blowing whistle]
Looks like I've got
the whole police force after me.
Oh, boy, this idea better work!
boing
I hope the counterfeiters
are still here.
thud
crash
Alright,
you're all under arrest.
- 'There he is, boys.'
- 'Grab him.'
(Fred)
'Hey, wait!
You don't understand.'
This is where
the counterfeiters are.
That's why I took you're
motorcycle, so you'd follow me.
Sure, sure. Where are
the counterfeiters?
Well, there were here
an hour ago.
Uh-uh. I like the one about
Little Red Rocking Hood better.
You really did it, buster.
Disturbing the peace..
Oh, boy!
...stealing and destroying
city property.
Come on, Clancy
we can write all this stuff
down at the station.
click
Hey!
Let's go, Stony.
We're gonna take in on the lam.
Yeah, we really made
a haul this time, doll face.
Well, well, our old friend
Stony Mahoney and Greta Gravel.
You got
nothing on us, copper.
It's all his fault. He forced
me into a life of crime.
Okay, you can
tell it to the D.A..
Like it, Barney?
Great. Heh, heh, heh.
I look like Rock Whistler's
mother. Right, Fred?
More like his grandfather.
[both laugh]
But how did you
get it, Betty?
You hadn't saved up enough yet,
and there wasn't any reward.
Remember the 20 dollars
the crooks gave me?
Well, that was real.
And it was just enough
so that I could buy the chair.
But I'm through
answering want ads.
Oh, that's a relief!
Now, I'm gonna
write a book.
thud
You-you're gonna write a book?
Uh-huh, a book.
I was an
old lady counterfeiter.
[all laugh]
[theme song]
Flintstones
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Someday maybe Fred
will win the fight
And that cat will stay out
for the night
When you're with
the Flintstones
Have a yabba dabba doo time
A dabba doo time
You'll have a gay old time
thud
thud
We'll have a gay old time
Wilma!
bang bang bang
Hey, Freddy boy, let's go.
We'll be late for work.
Coming.
muah
Have a good day, Fred.
Farewell, farewell.
thud
quack quack quack
Hey, hurry up
on your bath, Fred.
There's somebody waiting
to use the tub.
[chuckles]
[theme song]
cawwww
Yabba dabba doo!
Flintstones
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Let's ride with the family
down the street
Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet
When you're
with the Flintstones
Have a yabba dabba doo time
A dabba doo time
You'll have a gay old time
Giddy up! Giddy up!
Giddy up, Dino!
Giddy up! Giddy up!
[chuckling]
woof woof woof
Taking good care
of Pebbles, Dino?
woof woof woof
'Oh, that's nice.'
[humming]
quack
- 'Hi, Wilma.'
- Hi, Betty.
Hi, Pebbles.
Hi, Dino.
[Pebbles babbling]
woof woof woof
Okay, that looks like fun.
[giggling]
Wilma, I've just decided.
Fine. Decided what?
To get a new chair
for Barney.
Oh? I didn't know
he needed one.
quack
You know how
he's always complaining
about how uncomfortable
he gets watching TV.
I thought why not get him a nice
easy chair for a surprise.
Aren't they
pretty expensive, Betty?
Well, sort of.
That's why I came over.
I brought the want ads.
I thought you could help me
look for a part time job.
You look in that section,
I'll look in this.
Hmm, alright.
Here's one,
"Wanted, ticket taker
for Roller Rock Derby.
Apply, manager."
Oh, good, let's see.
"It.."
Oh, no.
I can't apply for that.
Why not?
It sounds easy.
But it's at night.
This has to be during the day
while Barney's at work.
Wock wock. Wock wock.
Dino, wock wock.
You're gonna keep this
a secret from Barney?
Well, of course. I..
Oh, Wilma, look at Pebbles
and Dino. Isn't that cute?
[chuckling]
Wock wock. Wock wock.
Wock wock. That her word
for rocking chair.
That gives me an idea.
I won't get Barney an easy
chair, I'll get him a rocker.
Why not
let Barney pay for it?
No, I want it
to be a surprise.
Oh. Oh, I guess
you're right.
- Hmm.
- Find something interesting?
Well, sort of.
" Wanted, kindly elderly lady
"for easy work,
no experience necessary.
Daytime only, Good pay."
Hmm, too bad
you're not at an old lady.
[imitating old lady]
Ey, what's that?
You'll have to
speak up, miss.
My hearing isn't
what is used to be.
Why.. Why that's wonderful!
Not bad, huh?
Oh, if they never had
to see you, it'd be perfect.
Wait a second. Come on, in
the house. I got an idea.
- Wha-what do you've in mind?
- I-I'll show you in a minute.
Take good care
of Pebbles, Dino.
woof woof woof
thud
Remember last Halloween?
I was gonna
dress up like a witch.
Well, try this wig on.
Alright.
How's that?
That makes
a big difference!
Here, now,
put this shawl around you.
And I've got some
eye glasses some place.
Oh, yes, here they are.
Let's see, anything else?
Betty, is that really you?
I'm sorry, dearie.
She just left.
[laughs]
Wonderful!
Here, just one more thing.
This old umbrella.
Thank you kindly, miss.
Oh, Betty, it's prefect!
[car approaching]
Oh, gosh that must be
Fred and Barney.
Thanks for the lift,
Barney boy.
You are welcome, Fred.
See you later.
vroom
Might as well
find out right now
how good I am
at fooling people.
- Gosh, I don't--
- Hiya, sweetheart, I'm home.
muah
Oh, excuse me.
Um, company?
Yes, it's ah--
Hello there, sonny.
I'm Mrs. Old Lady.
Mrs. Old Lady?
Glad to meet you.
(Barney)
'Fred?'
Yeah?
(Barney)
'Betty over there?'
Nope.
Well, I better be on my way.
And, nice to see you, sonny.
Goodbye, Wilma.
- Goodbye.
- Hold it, hold it.
- Allow me, ma'am.
- How nice!
Are you sure,
you haven't seen Betty, Fred?
Oh, uh, maybe she's out
sh-s-shopping, Barney.
Oh, oh, excuse me.
Company?
Just leaving, young fella.
Yeah, Barney.
This is a friend of Wilma's.
Mrs. Old Lady.
Barney Rubble
at your service.
Say, uh,
you remind me of somebody.
Now, who could it be?
Oh, I got it,
my mother-in-law.
Right, Fred?
Say, that's right!
That's very nice of you
to say that.
[Barney laughing]
What an old battleaxe she is.
Right, Freddy?
Ha, ha, you ain't kiddin'.
[both laughing]
thump
[chuckles]
Oh, excuse me, sonny.
My umbrella slipped.
Nice old lady.
[laughing]
Packs a real wallop,
too, huh, bud?
Ha, ha, ha.
Hmph! That'll teach him to talk
about my mother like that!
I better get home
and get out of this disguise.
Old battleaxe, huh?
(Barney)
'Hi, Betty.
You're home.'
Oh, oh, um, hmm, yeah.
Say, ah,
you meet that nice
little old lady
at the Flintstones?
Ah, no.
Funny thing, she reminds me
of your mother.
Oh, so you said.
Yeah, I..
I did? When?
I mean, does she?
Yeah, ah..
Does she what?
Remind you of my mother.
Didn't I say so?
[imitating Barney chuckling]
What a battleaxe she is,
right, Freddy?
Oh, honey!
You hadn't oughta talk
that way about your own mother.
Ooooh!
I'm going next door
for a minute.
Keep an eye
on Pebbles, Dino.
woof woof woof
Giddy up! Giddy up! Giddy up!
Oh, hi, Betty. I just
came over to wish you luck.
Thanks, Wilma!
The-the appointment's
for 9:00 sharp.
How do I look?
[imitating old lady]
I-I mean, how do I look, dearie?
Just like Barney's
mother-in-law.
[both giggling]
Shooh!
Why couldn't the ad have called
for a kindly young woman?
Few days of walking like this
and I won't be able
to straighten up.
"One eighty-five."
This is it.
[imitating old lady]
Well, good luck to me.
[giggling]
knock knock knock
- Yeah?
- How do you do?
I'm the one who called
about your ad.
(male #1)
'Come in.'
Ms. Greta Gravel
will see you in the study.
Um, thank you kindly.
Yes?
Hello there, ma'am.
About the ad, did you--
Oh, you look like
a nice kind little old lady.
That's me. Um, ah,
I mean, yes indeedy.
[chuckling]
What's your name?
Um, Miss Rubble.
Ah, maiden lady, eh?
Yeah, but I'm
still lookin'.
[both laughing]
Oh, and a sense
of humor, too.
Oh, my, I do like
a sense of humor.
Ah, you can see
I can't get around too good.
I need somebody
to do my shopping
and run little errands
for me.
But the man
who let me in--
Oh, my butler? Yes.
Well, I could send him
but I don't like being
left alone in the house.
Oh, of course.
Oh, I think you'll do fine.
Here, dearie, you take this
and go down to the supermarket
and get me a loaf
of whole rock bread.
(Betty)
'A $100 bill?'
Yes. Bring me back
the change.
Well, of course, but is that
all? Just a loaf of bread?
[laughs]
Well, I'll be thinking
while you're gone.
Now, run along, dearie.
'Ninety-nine, ninety-nine fifty,
sixty, seventy.'
Oh! And here's the bread.
My, how quick
you were, dearie.
Now, I'm all out
of toothpaste.
Will you get me a tube?
Small size.
And bring back the change.
Another $100 bill?
Oh, I hate small change.
[laughs]
Be sure it's the kind
with fluorostone.
Here's your change
from the toothpaste.
Thank you.
Now, I have one last errand
for you today, Miss Rubble.
Here's another $100 bill.
Take his letter
to the post office
and mail it
and bring back the change.
Air mail?
No no no, regular.
We don't want to be
throwing money away, do we?
[laughing]
Four hundred dollars?
And all you brought was a stamp,
a loaf of bread and toothpaste?
Isn't that
kinda strange, Betty?
I suppose, but you know
how some old ladies are.
Kinda set in their ways.
'Yes, I guess so.'
crack crack
Oh, dear, that happens every
time I try to hang a picture.
I know, they don't
build houses like they used to.
Anyway, it's her money,
and the work is easy.
And you know something, Wilma?
It's fun carrying
all that money around
even if it's not mine.
It makes me feel rich.
I can imagine.
There! No one will know
I goofed.
You're so artistic!
[both laugh]
Three hundred and ninety-eight
dollars and sixty-five cents.
Gotta hand it to you,
doll face.
This is the smoothest
con game I ever saw.
And the best part of it is..
...she doesn't suspect a thing.
Oh, boy, it feels good
to stand up!
That chair was killin' me.
How long before we can
shake these bird, Stony?
Tomorrow you keep
the old dame on $100 bills
the next day, we'll try out
the five hundreds.
If they go..
whoosh
...we'll start on
the $1000 bills.
Let's see
how our crew is doing.
Yeah, we ought to
clear 50 grand
in good money
in a couple of weeks.
Keep the pressures rolling.
Ha, ha, ha.
Now, that's what I call
a production line, Stony.
toing toing
(Stony)
'They're still working
on a $100 bills.'
Yikes!
Watch it, Charlie,
wait for the bell.
Hey, Barn, you going to work
today or not? We're late.
Be right there.
muah
Have a good day, Bets.
You too, Barney.
See you tonight.
Hiya, Wilma.
Morning, Barney.
Nice day, isn't it?
Gosh, Wilma, I thought
Barney would never leave.
- Do me a favor, will you?
- Sure.
Stay here outside
and keep your eye on Barney.
I'll get my disguise on.
- Oh-oh.
- Now what?
Forgot my car keys.
Be right back.
Oh, boy!
Uh-oh, he's coming back.
Good morning, Barney.
Nice day, isn't it?
Hey, didn't we
just go through this?
You're a real
early bird, Barney!
And it's the early bird that
catches the worm. Isn't it?
Why would I want
to go around catching worms?
You certainly look
wide awake, Barney!
So do you, Wilma!
Oh, gosh, I wonder
what Barney forgot?
'Uh, what did you
forget, Barney?'
(Barney)
'I forgot my car keys!'
- Your what?
- What's all the screaming for?
Who scr..
Um, who's screaming?
You forgot
your car keys, Barney.
Uh, thanks.
See you later.
Uh, say, Betty, since when
do you wear glasses?
W-wha.. Who? Me?
Oh, ha, ha, I..
I put them there
to keep them out of the way.
Out of the way of what?
So I wouldn't step on them?
T-t-they belong to the plumber.
What plumber?
T-t-the one who
was here yesterday.
Yeah? What for?
Um, he-he was taking a survey.
He wanted to know
what kind of water we use.
Barney, come on, let's go!
We're late!
Oh, sure, Fred, sure.
I'll see you later, I guess.
Oh, boy,
that was close.
Too close.
I'm glad I don't have
to keep this up much longer.
I'll have enough money
for his rocking chair
by the end of the week..
...or my name
isn't Miss Old Lady.
[chuckles]
Hey, Fred, what kind
of water do you use?
What kind of water
do I use?
There's only one kind,
stupid, wet.
Now step on it!
We're late enough as it is.
What a day I put in today!
Seems like she sent me
all over town.
And on top of that, I still
have to get Barney's dinner.
[car horn blaring]
Oh, here he comes now.
Hi, dear,
you're getting home early.
Oh, yeah,
not much traffic--
screech
What did you say?
Oh, I.. I said, "Hello, sonny.
What's on your mind, sonny?"
Oh, uh..
clang clank
I-I just thought
I heard my wife.
Oh, you must be
hearin' things, sonny.
[chuckles]
Yeah I must be.
So long.
vroom
Oh, dear!
I've got to get into
the house before he does
and get out of this disguise.
swoosh
Betty, I'm home.
'Betty, where are you?'
(Betty)
'In the closet.'
In the closet?
What are you doin' in there?
N-n-nothing.
Mind if I join you?
Heh, heh, heh.
Oh, don't be silly!
Oh, fine. You're standing
in the closet, and I'm silly.
Sit down and relax
while I fix dinner.
This just isn't one of my days.
Oh, boy, I thought
he had me that time.
Barney's harder to fool
than that nice old lady
I'm working for.
Busy, busy, busy,
aren't we?
Maybe when this is all over
I'll apply
for an acting job on TV.
[imitating old lady]
Hello out there, in TV land.
This is Old Lady Betty
bringing you--
Hey, were you
calling me, Betty.
No, I wasn't, sonny,
but, but, but..
[coughing]
I must have picked up
a cough somewhere.
You picked up a cough,
and I'm starting to hear things.
Hey, maybe we better
call Doc Boulder home.
Aaa.
Oh, Betty, I look awful.
Nonsense, dear.
You'll be fine.
Just as soon as
I get in your new..
Get me my new what?
Dinner. That's it.
It'll be ready in a jiffy.
My new dinner?
clank clank
That's what I mean.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
You've done
just fine, dearie.
My, I'm so
pleased with you!
Oh, thank you,
Ms. Gravel.
[laughs]
And to show you
how much I trust you
here's a $1000 bill,
I'm all out of five hundreds.
Isn't that terrible?
Yes. No.
And now then
your first errand
today is to run down
to the Bedrock
department store
and get me a package
of hair pins.
Hair pins? Why can't I get all
the things you need in one trip?
I mean, I keep coming back
and getting more money
and going back out..
Now, now, you have to allow
an old lady to have her way.
- I'm eccentric, you know.
- Ohh! Yes, of course.
[both laugh]
Bye-bye. Hurry back
with the change.
slam
Okay, Stony, she's gone.
She had me worried there
for a minute, doll.
Her? Hah! Oh, it's a shame
we can't take her with us
when we blow this cover.
Yeah, she's the best front
we ever had.
Heh, heh, heh.
(Betty)
'Hi, Barney.'
Oh, hi there.
Oh, good,
just in time for the news.
And now
for the local news.
The Bedrock police
announced this afternoon
that a ring
of counterfeiters
is operating
in the Bedrock area.
'A number of $100
and $500 bills'
'have been passed
at local stores.'
And several $1000 bills
have been passed.
Da-da-dub-dub..
The only clue police have
is the description
of kindly old lady
who has been in every store.
Police are now searching
for this little old lady.
Hey, what's the matter?
Uh, I need air.
Anyone seen this lady
will please contact
the police department.
Da-da-da..
What's the matter with you?
I need some air.
screech
You heard?
Yes. Oh, you poor dear.
Oh, Wilma, what am I
going to do?
I don't know.
[both crying]
Alright, alright,
what's going on?
Yeah, that's what I wanna know.
What's all the crying for?
[continue crying]
I knew it. Something's going on
and I want to know what it is.
Hold it.
Let me handle this.
Now, girls, whatever it is..
Uh, what is it?
[crying]
Oh, swell! You handled it
just great, Freddy boy.
One more crack
out you, Barney
and there'll be
a new moonshot tonight.
Now, Wilma.
Yes, Fred?
What is going on?
We might as well
tell them.
Yes, they'll find out
when I'm in jail anyway.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
All I wanted to do
is buy you a rocking chair.
So I answered
this ad in the newspaper.
And that's the whole story.
How did I know
the money was counterfeit?
- Oh, boy!
- You can say that again.
Oh, boy!
Barney, dear,
will you wait for me?
Why? Where are you going?
I mean while I'm in prison.
Will you wait for me?
Well depends on
how long you're gonna..
- I mean, sure, I'll wait.
- Oh, Barney!
What's all this talk
about prison?
- 'Think they'll let her go?'
- Certainly.
Especially when she helps
trap the crooks.
- 'Hmm?'
- 'Huh?'
What would you people
do without me around?
Heh, heh.
Now, here's what we'll do.
Betty shows up tomorrow
like nothing happened.
They give her some more
counterfeit dough
she gives it to me
'I take it to the cops,
and we got the evidence.'
Boy, I wouldn't be surprised
if I wind up
with a big fat reward!
- You? It's my wife--
- Well, it's my idea
So, we split 50-50.
This is the place.
screech
Now, remember, Betty
you get the phony money
and bring it back to me.
Gee, I'm a little nervous.
Oh, you got nothing
to worry about, hon.
Me and Fred will be
right here. Right, Fred?
You bet. If they try
anything, you just yell out
and me and Barney
will run for help.
Oh, fine. You don't know
how much better I feel.
Hello, Miss Old Lady
reporting for work.
Just a minute.
Get your stuff on.
It's the old gal.
Send her away. We've gotta
pack and lam out of here.
Use your head, doll.
The cops are on to us.
We gotta throw them
off the trail.
So we give the old girl
a good bill.
One of the twenties.
And by the time
they get around to us
we'll be gone with the loot.
It's perfect!
Let her in, dearie.
Heh, heh, heh.
I hope Betty's alright.
Yeah me, too.
[Dino whimpering]
woof woof woof
Here she comes.
I got it!
I got it! I got it!
Right. Now, hop in.
Let's get to the police station
and get my reward.
vroom
(male #2)
'Now, let me get this straight.'
'You say you're the old lady
we've been looking for.'
And this bill,
it's a counterfeit 20?
You bet your life
its counterfeit.
You keep out of this, fatso.
Lady, I never
argue with women.
But you are out
of your pretty little head.
I am not!
rrrr
- Is the dog leashed?
- What's that got to do with it?
City ordinance,
ten buck fine.
Listen, we're talking
about counterfeiters!
And I'm talking
about screwballs.
You got any idea
how many crack pots
come in to confess some crime?
Why don't you go on home?
Please.
But what about
that counterfeit bill?
(officer #1)
'Oh, yeah, the bill.'
Here you are, lady.
It's good.
Do you understand?
Go on,
before I run you in
for letting your animal
out without a leash.
grrrrr
What do we do now, Fred?
I don't know.
I..
Hey, what are you doing?
Uh, this your car?
Yeah, what's the idea
of the ticket?
Parked by a fire plug.
Fire plug. Uh, oh yeah.
Gosh, officer, you see, I was--
(officer #2)
'Just what do you think
would happen if we had a fire?'
What fires?
The whole town's made of rock.
The end of a perfect day.
Hey, Fred,
where are you going?
If we can't get
the police to believe us
maybe, they'll believe
the crooks.
vroom
Hey! Hey, that's my motorcycle!
Help! Police!
What am I sayin'?
I'm a policeman.
[blowing whistle]
Looks like I've got
the whole police force after me.
Oh, boy, this idea better work!
boing
I hope the counterfeiters
are still here.
thud
crash
Alright,
you're all under arrest.
- 'There he is, boys.'
- 'Grab him.'
(Fred)
'Hey, wait!
You don't understand.'
This is where
the counterfeiters are.
That's why I took you're
motorcycle, so you'd follow me.
Sure, sure. Where are
the counterfeiters?
Well, there were here
an hour ago.
Uh-uh. I like the one about
Little Red Rocking Hood better.
You really did it, buster.
Disturbing the peace..
Oh, boy!
...stealing and destroying
city property.
Come on, Clancy
we can write all this stuff
down at the station.
click
Hey!
Let's go, Stony.
We're gonna take in on the lam.
Yeah, we really made
a haul this time, doll face.
Well, well, our old friend
Stony Mahoney and Greta Gravel.
You got
nothing on us, copper.
It's all his fault. He forced
me into a life of crime.
Okay, you can
tell it to the D.A..
Like it, Barney?
Great. Heh, heh, heh.
I look like Rock Whistler's
mother. Right, Fred?
More like his grandfather.
[both laugh]
But how did you
get it, Betty?
You hadn't saved up enough yet,
and there wasn't any reward.
Remember the 20 dollars
the crooks gave me?
Well, that was real.
And it was just enough
so that I could buy the chair.
But I'm through
answering want ads.
Oh, that's a relief!
Now, I'm gonna
write a book.
thud
You-you're gonna write a book?
Uh-huh, a book.
I was an
old lady counterfeiter.
[all laugh]
[theme song]
Flintstones
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Someday maybe Fred
will win the fight
And that cat will stay out
for the night
When you're with
the Flintstones
Have a yabba dabba doo time
A dabba doo time
You'll have a gay old time
thud
thud
We'll have a gay old time
Wilma!
bang bang bang