The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 4, Episode 8 - Big League Freddie - full transcript

Fred prepares for a big ball game between the Slate quarry and another company. He feels so confident since he heard some "big league" scouts might be around for the game. However, all's not going well for Fred as he is unable to complete the game either on offense or defense. A young employee, Roger Marble, takes over his place...and his uniform and help the team win. Two major league scouts from the Boulder City Giants, Leo Ferocious and Casey Stangel noticed him, but mistaken for Fred. He gets the offer, but his over-inflated ego irates both families, especially when they try to make him think it is Roger Marble who deserves to be a big leaguer...

Alright, Dino boy,
put it right over the old plate.

[barking]

whizz

That's the boy!

thwack

boop boop boop

whizz

Attababy!

crack

Now, put some mustard
on 'em, Dino.

crack



whizz
crack

whizz

crack

Attaboy.
Keep 'em coming.

crack

crack

whizz
crack

[theme music]

[horn blaring]

Yabba dabba doo!

Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone-age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history



Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

You'll have
a yabba dabba doo time

A dabba doo time

You'll have a gay old time

whizz
crack

Attaboy! Keep 'em comin'.

crack

crack

crack

boop boop boop

twang
crash

Aye, Fred.

whizz

Aye, what's the big idea
of throwin' rocks, Fred?

Aye, Barn, who's throwin'?
It's just battin' practice.

Okay, Dino boy.
Take five.

Yessiree, Barn, just gettin'
into a little ol' limberin' up.

Sharpenin' the old eye,
tunin' up the old muscles.

Well, uh, tune up in the
other direction for a change.

Eh...batting practice
for what?

That big game tomorrow

for the Cave Construction
Company Championship.

That's why I, eh, hey, Barn,
where'd you go?

Oh-oh, when you swung
I was almost a homerun.

[laughs]

I'm sorry, Barn.

Well, back to the rock pile.
Let's go, Dino boy.

[snoring]

Hey, Dino. Come on now.

Don't you want me
to look good

in front of Casey Strangle
tomorrow?

- In front of who?
- Casey Strangle.

- No.
- You betcha.

And his number one scout,
Leo Ferocious.

What do you know?

So now you know
why I'm practicing.

Uh, just one question.
Who is Casey Strangle?

How would you like
a quick trip in the water?

[laughs]

Okay. Okay.
Who's playin'?

Our Bedrock Quarry
team's playin'

Petrie's Petrified Lumberyard.

and Casey Strangle, manager
of the Boulder City Giants

is gonna be there, and when
they get a load of me

I will be sayin',
"So long, Barney boy."

crack

And a bon-bon-bon voyage
to you too, Fred.

Eh, you goin' some place?

To the Big Leagues.
Candlestone park.

If you're ever
in the neighborhood

tell the man at the gate

you're acquainted
with Babe Flintstone.

[laughs]

She's such
a little darling, Wilma.

I can't get over
how active she is.

[babbling]

Too much though,
sometimes.

Do you like
this pattern, Betty?

Beautiful.

Another sun-suit
for Pebbles?

Uh-huh. She outgrows them
almost as fast

as I can make them.

- Where'd those scissors get to?
- Right behind you.

Oh, yes.

snip snip snip

(Betty)
'Isn't that
a lot of work, though?

'Making all her clothes?'

(Wilma)
'Oh, goodness, no.'

There's really nothing to it.
Hardly any work at all, Betty.

Hit it, Charlie.

tik tik tik

It's the easiest thing
in the world.

Speak for yourself.
I'm exhausted.

Well, how does it look?

Lovely.

You're so clever
with clothes, Wilma.

[instrumental
"Rock-a-bye Baby"]

Did you hit a dead-end street,
you little monkey?

Detour.

[babbling]

Wilma, have you seen
Barney and Fred lately?

Uh-huh. They're outside.

Fred's warming up
for the big game tomorrow.

He's on the company team,
you know.

Okay, Freddie boy.

Here comes my outdrop, in-shoot,
knuckler, slider, slow ball

dipsy-doodle, curve, spitball
up-shoot, palm ball, fast ball

waste pits, smoky pete
bean-ball nickel curve.

- Oh, boy.
- And up-drop.

whizz
crack

thud

I can understand
why Fred's warming up

but why is Barney?

He's not even in the game.

I'll up-drop you
when I catch you.

whizz
whizz

Hey, take it easy,
Fred.

Don't wear yourself out
before the game.

screech

[laughs]

Hold it, Fred. Ho-hold it.

Okay, I'll pitch 'em
to you in just your style.

crack

Come on, Barney.

Get up and pitch 'em in the
right way, will you, Rubble?

I'm not trying to get
in shape. You are.

Uh, watch it.
Here comes a sizzler.

[laughs]

Oh, boy.

(Roger)
'Hi, Mr. Flintstone.'

'Oh, hi, Roger.'

You're just in time
to work out with me.

Oh, uh, Barney, I want you
to meet my new helper

at the quarry, Roger Marble.

My number one friend,
Barney Rubble.

- Hiya, Roger.
- Hi, Mr. Rubble.

Rog is my substitute,
Barney.

[laughs]

Of course, with me in there
he won't see much action.

Unless, we're way ahead
late in the game.

Right, Roger?

Just as long as we win,
Mr. Flintstone.

That's the old spirit.

Say, Rog, how would you like
a few baseball pullers?

Gee, that'd be swell.

My pleasure, kid.

Let's start off with
a little batting practice.

I'll throw you
a couple of fast ones.

Now, nobody expects you
to hit too good.

Just meet the ball.
Do you understand?

Sure, Mr. Flintstone.
Just meet the ball.

Right.

whizz

crack

whizz

I guess you'd say,
he met the ball, huh, Fred?

Heh heh, that was
some introduction.

Uh, let's try some easy
pop flies now, Rog.

I hit a lot of 'em down
the third base line, you know.

If I do say so myself,
I am death around pop flies.

Now watch me close.

Yessir, Mr. Flintstone.

crack

Wowie! Now that's what
I call a high fly pop fly.

I got it.

I got it.

thud

Hey, you alright, Fred?
Hey, hey, Fred.

Don't just stand there.
Get me outta here!

Okay, kid. Now, how about
practicing your slide?

Anything you say,
Mr. Flintstone.

Now you wait here
'til I get on home plate.

Anything you say,
Mr. Flintstone.

Uh, ha he he. Rog sure has got
the right attitude, huh, Barney?

Anything you say,
Mr. Flintstone.

[laughs]

Alright, kid. This is
home plate and I'm the catcher.

Now, you're on third and
you're comin' in. You got it?

- Yes, sir.
- 'Now come in fast and hard.'

wham

bam

(Barney)
'You're safe!'

toing

scrunch

Great play, Rog.

Thank you,
Mr. Rubble.

Uh, hey,
where's Fred?

That's enough
practice for today.

Now would somebody
get me out of here?

I guess the boys
are through playing.

Here comes
your daddy, Pebbles.

[babbling]

(Fred)
'Hello, my little Pebbly-Poo.
How's my little darlin'?'

Excited about daddy being
a major league baseball star?

[babbling]

Translated that means,
"You gotta be kiddin'."

[laughs]

What's this about
being a major league star?

Oh, nothin', Betty.

Just that some big league scouts
will be watchin' me tomorrow.

So, don't be surprised
if we have to put this house

on the market quick.

Oh, Fred.
He he he.

(Fred)
'Yeah, go ahead and laugh.'

But back in Bedrock High

who was the number one
baseball player?

Oh, now, let's see.
That was pretty long ago.

Umm, was it Windy Makshale
or Stan Gravel or--

Now, listen you--

Uh, come on, Barney.
Let's go home to supper.

Okay, Betty.

Uh, say, Fred,
as long as you are practicing

you better tone up
your vocal cords too.

All the big stars
do commercials, you know.

Razor blades, hair tonic,
stuff like that.

Commercials, huh?

Come to mommy.
Beddy-bye now.

Razor blades,
hair tonic..

Uh, hold Pebbles
for me, honey.

H-hi there, baseball fans.

You know, playin' out
in the hot sun can really..

Oh, I should practice
in front of the mirror.

Oh, brother.
What next?

Nya-hi there, baseball fans.

Playin' under the hot sun
can sure dry out a fella's hair.

That's why I always use..
Eh, always use

eh, this slickery slick stuff.

It's gr-r-eat for your hair.

And it don't..

Hmm, doesn't leave
any aftertaste.

[laughs]

Yes, sir, that little old
60 minute workout

works wonders with-wi..

Oh, hey, I'm stuck.

What was in that bottle?

'Oh, no.
"Sure-Grip Household Cement."'

Oh, my gosh.
Wilma. Oh, Wilma.

Wilma!

Shh. Oh, I just got
Pebbles to sleep.

Why are you holding
your head? Are you sick?

No, I'm stuck.

My head's full of
Sure-Grip Cement.

Huh, h-how?

Well, I was practicin'
my hair tonic commercial and--

Fred, will you stop
playing games?

Nobody's hired you
to do commercials.

Not yet. But after tomorrow,
it will be a different story.

Oh, sure.

With your hands
fastened to your hair

you'll have to catch
the ball in your mouth.

[laughs]

Here we are.
Stick your head in the sink.

knock knock knock

Make it hot,
Henry.

Oh, boy.
The hot water again.

And some women complain
about dishpan hands.

[Fred yelling]

Stop yelling.

You brought this
on yourself.

whiff whiff whiff

Now, rub hard.

Yes, dear.

Hey, I just got a great idea
for a commercial.

Wilma, hand me
that box of soap, huh?

How's this, Wilma?

Yessir, boys and girls,
us baseball stars

don't always have time
for a fancy shampoo.

So anytime I have
a couple of minutes

you'll find me in
the kitchen givin' myself

[blabbering]
a 60 minutes shampoo.

Your commercial sounds
better under water.

[laughs]

(male announcer)
'It's another big day
at Candlestone Park, friends.'

'It's the big game for'

'the Cave Construction
Company Championship.'

Neither team
is on the field yet.

I imagine their managers
are giving them

their last minute pep talk.

Alright, boys.
Now, this is the big one.

Old blabber-mouth
Petrie's been screaming

about how his team
is gonna wipe up the ground

with my team,
and it's up to you

to show him how wrong he is.

Now, I don't want
you boys thinking of me

as your boss Mr. Slate.

And if you lose the game
your being out of work

will have nothing
to do with that.

It's your manager
talking to you now.

I want you to get out there
and fight, fight, fight!

Don't let anything
stand in your way.

Now, go, go, go!

[rumbling]

That's the old fight, men.

Here comes
the teams.

My, don't they
look professional?

Pitching for Petries Lumberyard,
Warren Spindle.

The first batter for Bedrock
Quarry, number seven

Fred Flintstone.

[crowd cheering]

thump

Eh, this is
an easy one, Warren baby.

Alright, fatso.

You think you can swing
three more times

without fallin' down?

[laughs]

When I hit the ball,
the breeze will be enough

to knock you down.

Make a touchdown, Fred!

No, Wilma.
Touch down is football.

You mean, a home run.

Oh, what's the difference?
So long as it's good.

Throw the bum out.

(male announcer)
'Warren checks his signal.
Here's the wind up.'

'The pitch.'

whizz

thump

(umpire)
'Strike!'

That's puttin'
them in, Warren-oh-boy.

phoo phoo phoo

Warren gets a signal. Looks like
it will be his old sneak ball.

[chuckles]

Come on. Come on.
Put it over.

That's it.

whizz

(umpire)
'Strike!'

[chuckles]

whizz

(umpire)
'Strike!
You're out.'

Oh, dear. He didn't hit
a home run, did he?

But he stirred up
a breeze, lady.

He oughta rent himself out
for an air-conditioner.

[laughs]

Ohh!

Bottom of the second now,
with Sandy Stoneaxe

back on the mount
for Bedrock Quarry.

And the first batter
for Petrie is number three

'the second baseman,
Pee-wee Rocks.'

(male announcer)
'Stoneaxe stretches,
the wind up, the pitch.'

crack

'It a screamer
down the third baseline'

'an easy out.'

I got it.

clunk

thud

Oh, Fred.
I hope he's not hurt.

That bum plays
head-the-ball, don't he?

[laughs]

Try this
on your head for size.

thump

How's Flintstone?

He'll be okay,
Mr. Slate.

Yessir, boys and girls,
us big league ball players

don't always have time
to shampoo with regular blades..

[babbles]

Oh, boy.
Roger Marble.

Yessir,
Mr. Slate, sir.

Get in there
and take Flintstone's place.

But, but, I haven't
got a uniform.

Wear Flintstone's.
And hurry it up.

Here's a couple
of seats, Case.

Can you see
what inning it is?

Eh, it's just
changin', Leo.

[chattering]

Top of the fourth.

Just hope we're not
wastin' our time.

We'll soon
find out, Leo.

But remember how we
discovered Mickey Mountain?

Throwing rocks at dinosaurs.

[laughs]

Yeah. Never can tell when you'll
stumble across a natural.

Right.

(male announcer)
'Alright, folks.
It's the top of the fourth.'

'And the first batter
for Bedrock is number seven.'

'Spindle gets his sign'

'winds up,
and here it comes.'

crack

'And there it goes!'

[crowd cheering]

'It's going, going, gone!'

Kid's got a nice swing
and look on your scorecard

for his name, Case.

Oh, number seven.
Flintstone.

Flintstone, huh?

I will have to keep
an eye on him.

Bottom of the fifth now,
friends.

Mickey Rothren
at bat for Petrie.

'Here it comes.'

crack

It's a real fast one
down the third base line.

Looks like he can
get two for us.

'Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!'

First base has picked it off.
A beautiful play!

Number seven
again, Case.

Yeah. The kid
can field too.

Let's keep
an eye on him.

[crowd cheering]

Hear the cheers, folks?

Those are for
old spark plug number seven

as he steps up to bat
at the top of the seven.

'He's been
a one man team today.'

crack

Oh, what a match!

[crowd cheering]

tuck tuck tuck
tuck tuck tuck

(announcer)
'That ball is long gone.'

- What a smash!
- The kid can't miss, Leo.

He's a natural.
Come on.

[babbling]

Come on, you little
wiggle worm.

Time for your nap.

- 'Feeling better, Fred?'
- I'm okay, Wilma.

Just a little disappointed.

Oh, never you mind.

You'll be the star
of the next game.

They say Roger Marble
was very good in your place.

Swell, swell.

Oh, cheer up, Fred.
It's only a game.

Eh, "Flintstone".
This is the place.

(Casey)
'I hope no one else
has signed him up.'

Yeah. With him playin'
for us in Candlestone Park

where he'll hit
90 homeruns easy.

ting ting ting tong

And to think, I took
music lessons for this.

Yes?

Evening, ma'am.
Your son at home?

My what?

Eh, your son.
Flintstone, the ball player.

That is my husband.

Oh, uh, sorry.
Can we speak to him?

'Yes, come in.'

Thank you, kindly.

- Hey! You're--
- Leo Ferocious, son.

And this is--

I-I know. Casey Strangle.
I-I've seen you on television.

Hey, he looked younger
on the field.

Yeah. Taller too.

And thinner lookin'.

Oh, well.
Looks never won a pennant.

Son, that was
quite a game today.

Uh, well, I can explain that.
You see there's--

Uh, what's to explain?

Three home runs
and three times up.

And all those great plays
you made in the field. Wow!

Who?

Me?

Oh, those plays.

[laughs]

Yessir, every time
a great play was made

you could be sure
old number seven was there.

Yeah, number seven.

Fred. Aren't you
gonna tell them?

Tell us what?

Uh, uh, nothin'.

But that was Roger.

Oh-oh, yeah.

My wife means, this wasn't
one of my better days.

Was that so?

Well, it can turn out to be
the best day of your life, son.

You sign this contract
and report tomorrow morning

for practice
with the Boulder City Giants.

How about that?
The Boulder City Giants.

And get this, it's a
rock-clad agreement

they gotta pay me
whether I play or not.

Hee, yabba dabba doo!

What's wrong?

Aren't you glad
for your ol' pal and neighbor?

Well, sure, Fred.

Only they were
watching Roger, not you.

Did you tell them?

You think I've got rocks
in my head? Of course, I didn't.

How often does a chance
like this come along?

I don't
like it, Fred.

Neither do I.
It's dishonest.

It's business.

And when you play
in Candlestone Park, what then?

You're not a big-leaguer, Fred.

What difference does that make?

Hah heh heh.
They gotta pay me anyway.

Come on, Barney.
It's getting stuffy out here.

- Yeah, right.
- Now just a minute.

slam

Barney was certainly right.

You aren't a big leaguer,
Fred Flintstone.

slam

Ah, they're just jealous.

clunk

Hey, Wilma, let me in.

What do you want?

Is that any way to talk
to your own husband?

My husband was an honest man.

As far as I'm concerned,
you are just a-a..

...phony old number seven.

slam

Wilma, where am I
supposed to stay tonight?

How about
Candlestone Park?

Or with Dino?
If he'll have you.

slam

What's the matter with her?

I'm doin' this
for her and Pebbles.

Besides, is it my fault if they
got it a little mixed up?

Hi, Dino, ol' pal.

Would you move over?
You got company.

slam

Gosh. Him too?

Okay. I don't need any of 'em.

When I'm a big-leaguer,
they'll change their minds.

[snoring]

boing boing boing

Pebbles, do you have to
start so early?

[laughs]

What? What? Who?

Oh, boy. Morning at last.

I didn't sleep
a wink last night.

Hey, I better hustle.

I gotta report
for practice this morning.

I'll pack the bags and..

There's my
little Pebbly-Poo.

Ha ha ha.

[babbling]

Pebbles. Baby.

How can you say that
to your daddy?

Hi, Fred.

Pebbles, I--

- About last night, Fred. I'm--
- Pebbles said I was bad.

[Fred sobbing]

Oh, Fred.
She doesn't mean it.

Well, whether she means it
or not, she's right.

Hiya, Fred. Eh, say, Fred,
about last night I-I..

Gee, Wilma. All I wanted
to say was I was sorry.

Huh, me too.

Oh, poor Fred.

(Leo)
'Hey, let me get
this straight, Flintstone.'

'You made a trip here to the
Boulder City Giants office'

to tell us, that wasn't you
we were watching the other day?

That's right.

I was out of the game
before you even got there.

The one you wanna sign up
is Roger Marble.

He's the one
who was the star player.

You're givin' up a lot
to tell us this.

That's mighty big of you,
Flintstone. Mighty big.

Well, I was feeling
mighty small until I did.

So, if it's alright with you,
I'd like to break our contract.

thud
crumble

[crowd cheering]

(male announcer)
'Those cheers should tell you
who's coming to bat now, folks.'

'It's that new sensation,
Roger Marble.'

Hey, Rog!
One for us, boy!

Anything you say,
Mr. Flintstone.

(announcer)
'The pitcher goes
into his wind up. The pitch..'

crack

'Wow! It's another homerun
for Roger Marble.'

Eeh, yabba dabba doo!

He's a real
big-leaguer.

You wanna know
something, Fred?

To me, you're still the biggest
big-leaguer of 'em all.

Oh, Wilma.

[laughs]

Hey, Wilma,
get a load of this.

"The Rockbay Patty Dimes
are holdin' their

pro football
try-outs next week."

So?

Fred, what are you doing
with my sugar bowl?

That's a football, Wilma.

You remember who was
the greatest half-back

at Bedrock High?

Fred, you're getting sugar
all over my floor.

Well, who's to say I can't be
a pro football star?

I used to play back
and throw those 50 yard passes.

Back, back, back, back, back.

slam

'Hey, let me outta here.'

You'll stay right in that
closet, Fred Flintstone

until you come
to your senses, or grow up.

Which will be a long time.

[laughs]

'Wilma! Let me outta here.'

Wilma!

W-i-i-i-l-m-a-a-a-a!

thud thud thud

[theme music]

Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone-age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, may be
Fred will win the fight

And that cat will stay out
for the night

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba dabba doo time

A dabba doo time

We'll have a gay old time

thump

We'll have a gay old time

Wi-i-i-lma-a-a!

thud thud thud

[instrumental music]