The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 4, Episode 7 - Glue for Two - full transcript

Fred and Barney both get glued to Barney's new bowling ball.

Hya Fred, Barney.

We got our hands stuck
to this bowling ball.

Can you get us loose?

Well that's
a real sticky problem.

'But I'll try.'

Now, hold still, Fred,
while I twist you guys apart.

Now, why didn't
I think of that?

Because you ain't
a trained mechanic like me.

(Fred)
'Hey, wait!'

Hold it! Hold it!
Just a minute!

What's the matter?



[whirring]

thud

Oh, well,
I got another idea.

[theme song]

cawwww

Yabba dabba doo!

Flintstones
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride

With the family
down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're with
the Flintstones



Have a yabba dabba doo time

A dabba doo time

We'll have a gay old time

Alright, Melvin, fill her up!

slurp slurp

That's fine, Melvin.

Oh, Dino, go fetch Pebbles.
It's time for her bath.

woof woof woof

zip

screech

woof woof woof

slurp slurp

[chuckling]

Alright, you two, break it up.
I haven't go all day, you know.

woof woof woof

[babbling]

[chuckling]

Wee!

splash

[babbling]

[giggling]

You really love little Pebbles,
don't you, Dino?

woof woof woof

And Pebbles loves you, too.

[chuckles]

Oh, boy, wait till Fred sees
my new bowlin' ball.

It will bring my score up
to at least a hundred.

S-t-rike!
Heh, heh, heh.

Oh, oh, they'll call me
Twinkle Toes Rubble.

The terror of the allies.

Heh, heh.
S-t-rike!

thud

Boy, what a ball!

Wee!

Be careful, Pebbles.
I've already had my bath.

(Barney)
'Hiya, Wilma.'

Oh, hello, Barney.
Come in.

Hey, uh, where's Fred?

I wanna show him
my new bowlin' ball.

He's out in the garage, Barney.
Inventing more soft drinks.

[chuckles]

Still tryin' to put
the "Cactus Cola" people

outta business, huh?

Oh, Fred just won't give up.

This is his 778th experiment.

I'll call him for you.

Oh, Fred.
Barney's here to see you.

(Fred)
'Tell him I'm busy.'

I got no time
for his idle chit chat.

- Well, you heard him.
- Yeah.

I'll pop in on him
for a minute anyway.

Maybe I can talk him
into taking a bowlin' break.

Eh, so-so I can
try out my new ball.

S-t-rike!

Oh-oh, the ball
slipped out of my hand!

[rumbling]

crash crash

Ye-ow!

Hey, Fred.
You alright?

You blundering bubble head!

What're you trying
to do, murder me?

Well I just wanted to
show you my new ball, Fred.

Gee, don't get sore.

That's the trouble
with you, Barney.

All you think about
is bowlin' or shootin' pool.

Well, it's us guys who think
of something constructive

that are gonna make it to
the top some day.

- Is that so?
- Yeah, that's so.

Now, ah,
take me for instance.

I'm inventing
a new soft drink.

- Try some.
- No, thanks.

Knowing your inventions..

...I'll stick to grape juice.

[chuckling]

[mimics Barney chuckling]

Oh, boy!

Now, stop bein' funny
and hand me that spoon.

'Oh, sure, Fred.'

[grunting]

I-I can't, Fred.
It's stuck.

What do you mean stuck?
Can't you even lift a spoon?

Oh, never mind.
I'll do it myself.

[grunting]

Oh, maybe I put too much

concentrated cactus juice
in my new soft drink.

Well, back to
the old test tube.

rat tat tat

Heh, heh, heh.

You can always sell that stuff
as glue, you know.

Heh, heh, heh, sell that stuff
as glue, you know!

You, slay me, Barney, I..

Hey, wait a minute!
Maybe you're right.

I'm glad I thought of it.

It could be I just stumbled
onto somethin', you know?

After all, a lotta
great discoveries

are made accidentally by..

...geniuses like me.

If you ever
discover anything, Fred

it would be an accident.

Heh, heh, heh.

Hey, hey,
what're you doin' now?

I'm gonna try to
glue this broken handle

back on this old coffee pot.

clank

clank clank

Look, Barney, it worked!
I'm a genius!

Well, well, just remember,
I thought of it.

How do you like that?
As soon as you hit it big

everyone wants
to get in the act.

- But I did thought of it.
- 'Never mind pal.'

Come on, we gotta take this
stuff out and field test it.

Yabba dabba doo!

I'll be a millionaire!

Oh, boy, I wish
I had a dime for every time

Fred was gonna be
a millionaire.

Heh, heh, I'd be a millionaire.

Heh, heh, heh.

Alright, Barney, our first test
will be a simple one.

We dab a little glue
on to this stick..

A little dab will do it.

...then we glue
another stick to it..

...and we are ready
for operation "Stress Test."

You get the picture, Barney?

Me and Dino will have
a tug of war.

All that's holding us
together is the glue

'on the end of the sticks.'

And when I give the word
Dino will start tugging.

A very ingenuous idea, Fred.

Oh, Dino, chow time.
Come and get it!

bow wow wow

(Fred)
'Dino, wait!'

thud

Hey, Fred.
It worked.

The glue held.

Oh, boy!

The things I go through
in the name of science.

Now, for
stress test number two.

You ready, Barney?

I gotta hand it
to you, Fred.

Who else would think
of testing glue..

'...by lifting an elephant?'

(Fred)
'Can I help it
if I got a scientific mind?'

Alright, Barney, pull!

'Pull!'

'Pull!'

'Pu-l-l!'

We did it!

The glue is holding!

Congratulations, Fred!

Let me be the first
to shake your hand.

Barney, don't let go
of the r-o-oo..

thud thud

Will you get off my back?

All set for stress test
number three, Fred.

The stick is glued
to the side of the house.

- Are you ready?
- Ready.

Just give me the word
and I'll take off.

Assistant Scientist Rubble,
to Head Scientist Flintstone.

- 'Take off!'
- Heh, heh, heh.

With Barney an assistant

science is likely to be
set back to the stone age.

vroom

Boy, if the glue
passes this test

I'll get it made!

crash crash

Oh-oh, stop signal
and I can't stop.

screech

clank

thud

Well, Barney,
how does it feel

to be the best friend
of a millionaire?

Heh, heh, heh.
I don't know, Fred.

You still owe me five bucks
from the last time

you was gonna be
a millionaire.

Go ahead, laugh.

They laughed at
Thomas Hetherstone

when he invented the candle.

'But he didn't care.'

'He.. Oops!'

Eh, watch it, Fred!
Watch it! You're gonna..

crash

...fall.

Barney, what's the big idea
leavin' your blowin' ball

in middle of the floor?

Gee, Fred,
I tried to warn you.

Out, Rubble, out, out, out!

I'm out, Fred.
I'm out, I'm out.

Oh, my achin' head!

And look at this mess.

My formula
is all over the floor.

Uh, excuse me, Fred.

'I told you to
get outta here, Rubble.'

I know, Fred. But can I take
my bowling ball with me?

Yeah, take the darn thing.

'And if I ever see you
or this ball again'

it will be too soon.
Now get out!

Thanks, Fred.
I'll be seeing you around.

Urgh!

Uh, you can let go now, Fred.
I-I've got the ball.

I'm tryin' to!

Oh, great! You got glue
all over the ball.

Come on, let go!

Well, Fred, it looks like
we're stuck with each other!

Go ahead,
laugh it up, pal.

You ain't got
many laughs left.

Yoo-hoo, Barney.

Dinner's ready.
Come on home.

Oh, boy!
Tonight's my favorite dish.

Broiled pterodactyl ribs!

See you later, Fred.

(Fred)
'Ye-ow!'

Comin', Betty.
Start servin' the soup.

bang bang bang

[giggling]

Barney sure comes running
when food is mentioned.

He comes charging over
the wall like a wild buffalo.

[trumpet music]

(Barney)
'Yahoo!'

crash

Ah, gee, Fred,
I'm sorry.

[indistinct mumbling]

I forgot we were
joint together!

[continues mumbling]

Hey, uh, how about
joining me for dinner?

rrrrr

Honestly, you two amaze me.

Who else could get themselves
glued to a bowling ball?

I always knew
our husbands were close.

But this is too much!

[giggles]

(Barney)
'Yeah, we're like
two peas in a pod. He he.'

There's an inseparable bond
that binds us together.

[chuckles]

clank

Fred Flintstone, how dare you?

(Fred)
'Well he keeps askin' for it.'

Care for a walnut, Fred?

No, thanks, there' one too many
nuts around here already.

Well then...I'll eat it.

Ye-ow!
My achin' hand!

Oh-oh, he sounds mad!

whoosh

Alright, come out
of the closet, Barney.

I know you're in there.

I surrender, Fred.

I-I-I'm sorry.

Oh, put your hands down.

Yeah, sure.

bang

Yeow!

(Fred)
'That does it!
Wilma, let's go home.'

Oh, quit acting
like children, you two.

There's nothing you can do
about it till morning.

Yeah, you might
as well get along.

Because you're gonna
have to sleep together.

Sleep together?

(Wilma)
'You've got a better idea?'

Wilma and Pebbles
will spend the night with me.

And you'll stay
with Fred, Barney.

Looks like we're
gonna be bunk mates, Fred.

Oh, boy, I got a feeling
it's gonna be a l-ong night.

(Barney)
'One ninety-six,
one ninety- seven'

one ninety-eight

one ninety-nine,
two hundred.

Now, for a couple of hundred
deep knee bends.

'And a one, two,
three, four..'

Alright, knock it off!

You're gonna have
a deep bent nose

if you don't get into bed.

Okay, Fred, but don't blame me
if I get fat and pudgy like you.

[snoring]

- Hey, hey, Fred.
- Ah, ah, what is it? What?

- Can I have a drink of water?
- Water? Oh, yeah yeah, water.

'Gee, thanks, Fred.
You're a pal.'

[snoring]

Hey, just a minute.

What do you mean
a drink of water?

What do you think
this is, a hotel?

Well, gee, Fred.
I was just thirsty. That's all.

Thirsty, eh?
Well, allow me!

splash

clank

Gee, Fred, how could you
do that to your closest friend?

[snoring]

Are you awake, Fred?

Ahh, what is it now?

I can't sleep, Fred.

Betty always sings me
a lullaby when I can't sleep.

Well, if you think
I'm gonna sing you a lullaby

you are outta your
rock pickin' head.

Now, go to sleep.

- Okay, I'll try.
- Ahh!

Rock-a-bye Barney

In the tree top

What do you suppose
that horrible noise is?

I think I know.

Whenever Barney has insomnia,
I sing him to sleep.

Hah, I guess he talked
Fred into it this time.

Come rock-a-bye Barney..

B-eautiful, Fred!
B-eautiful!

'Shut up and go to sleep.'

When the bough breaks
the cradle will fall

And down will come
a rock-a-bye

A Barney and all♪

Oh, brother!
And they throw shoes at me!

[snoring]

Good, he's finally
fallen asleep.

Now, maybe I can get some rest.

[snoring]

thud

Huh? Hey, where am I?

Oh, no! Barney's walkin'
in his sleep.

- Betty, look!
- Oh, no!

Wilma, you better do somethin',
or I'm gonna

put this guy
to sleep for a week.

I hope Fred doesn't
do anything.

It's supposed to be dangerous
to waken a sleep walker.

Come on, we better tell him.

Alright, pal,
you're askin' for it.

Fred, don't you dare!

It's dangerous
to wake up a sleep walker!

- Huh?
- Be patient, Fred.

Barney just wants
a little midnight snack

in the refrigerator.

[indistinct mumbling]

[scatting]

Will you hurry up, Barney?

'Be right with you,
Freddie boy.'

Huh? What do you mean
you be right with me?

You're supposed to be asleep!

gulp

[snoring]

Open your eyes, wise guy

because I'm gonna
close both of 'em.

Oh, sorry, Fred.
Uh, I was just pretendin'.

I figured you'd get sore
if I'd told you I was hungry.

Out, out, out!

- I'm outing, Fred, I'm outing.
- Hey!

crash crash

Uh-oh, here comes
the midnight fire.

- Goodnight, girls.
- Goodnight, Barney.

Goodnight, Fred.
Sleep tight.

bang bang

Isn't it wonderful
how they stick together?

[both laugh]

[snoring]

[alarm ringing]

Eight bells, and all's well.
Except my poor beak, that is.

Up and at 'em, Fred,
it's morning.

Already?
Oh boy, what a night!

Yeah. He, he, he!

We had a real ball.

A bowling ball that is.

He, he, he!

'Eh, hey come on, Freddie boy.'

The girls are
coming over any minute.

And we wanna look our best.

I wonder if Fred
and Barney are up yet.

I hope Fred's in a better
mood this morning.

[Fred yelping]

Oh, no, they're at it again!
Come on.

[indistinct screaming]

Oh, that's
the last straw, Barney!

I'm gonna tear you
limb from limb.

- Hey, try to keep calm, Fred.
- Fred, stop it!

- Don't you dare hit my Barney!
- What's going on?

He-he just tried to fr-freeze me
to death with a cold shower.

I always take a cold
shower in the morning.

(Betty)
'That's right, he does.'

Yeah, but I don't!

Control yourself, Fred.

We've got to figure out what
you and Barney are going to do.

Hey, maybe we can go on tour
as Siamese twins, uh?

Oh, boy!

Maybe Mr. Quartz at the gas
station can help you, Fred.

Hey, that's not a bad idea.

Quartz is pretty handy
with the tools.

- Come on, let's go, Barney.
- Right you are.

What a life, huh, Jane?

Yes, Ethel,
it's a real gas.

Hey, Irving, here
comes another car.

Another one? How did I ever get
hooked into this job anyway?

Whoa!

Hello.

Anybody here?

How about some service?

Yeah, yeah, be right with you.

I just gotta tighten this nut.

Come on, Quartz,
we're in a hurry.

Hiya, Fred, Barney.

Hey, the bowling alley
is down the street, fellas.

Look, if I want laughs,
I'll call Yogi Bear.

We got our hands stuck
to this bowling bowl.

Can you get us loose?

Well, that's a real
sticky problem.

'But I'll try.'

Now, hold still, Fred,
while I twist you guys apart.

Now, why didn't I
think of that?

Because you ain't
a trained mechanic like me.

(Fred)
'Hey wait!'

'Hold it! Hold it!
Just a minute!'

What's the matter?

[whirring]

thud

Oh, well,
I got another idea.

I hope it's better
than this one.

Hey, what's he
gonna do now, Fred?

He's going to separate us
from the bowlin' ball

with tow trucks.

Okay, you guys,
here goes.

Giddy up, Ethel.

[grunting]

(Quartz)
'Come on, girls, pull'

'Pull.'

wham

smash

Boy, I'm really stuck
with this one.

But maybe I can come up
with some more ideas.

Never mind.

Any more of your bright ideas,
we'll wind up in a hospital.

Hey, that's it.
See a doctor.

Yeah, might as well.
I got nothin' to lose.

Except me.
He he he.

"Dr. Bonestitch."

Lets' go in, Fred.

The bowling alley is down
the street, gentlemen.

This is a doctor's office.

Very funny!
You ought to be on TV.

Look, can the doctor
remove a bowling bowl?

Well, he's really
more of a golfer.

More of a golfer.
He he he.

- That's a riot!
- Will you shut up?

Go inside and ask
the doctor yourself.

(Fred)
'Thanks.'

- Let me do the talking, Barney.
- I'm with you.

Boy, the trouble men get into!

Well, well, well,
fine day, isn't it?

Now, don't be afraid.
Just tell me which one is sick.

Well, eh, he he,
it's kind of silly.

You see, me and my pal here,
are stuck together, you see?

Very interesting.

Hmm, no pulse at all.

Are you sure you're alive?

(Fred)
'That ain't me!'

'That's the bowlin' bowl
you're listenin' to.'

Bowling ball?

Oh, the bowling alley
is down the street.

We know that!

We wanna get rid
of the bowling ball.

Sorry, I already
have a blowing ball.

Now, shall we get on
with the check up?

Now, this won't hurt a bit.

I'm just going to
test your reflexes.

toing

Boy, you really put your foot
in your mouth that time, Fred.

[mumbling]

Let's step
into the next room now

and check your weight.

There's your trouble.
You're overweight.

350 pounds.

350 pounds?

Your scale must be wrong.
I..

I..
Wait a minute.

Get off the scales,
will you, Barney?

We'll just have
to divide by two, Fred.

Shall we go to the X Ray room?

Ah-ha!

The X Ray machine has
given me the answer

to your troubles,
gentlemen.

'You two are stuck
to a bowling ball.'

(Fred)
'What are you, a comedian?'

We know we're stuck
to a bowlin' ball!

Well, now, you have medical
evidence to back it up.

That'll be $25, please.

Gee, Fred, we could be stuck
with each other for ever.

Something like this could
break up my family life.

I'm gonna break up your head
in a minute if..

Hey, that's it!

Come on, Barney!

I've got a mallet
and a chisel in the garage!

We're gonna break
this ball apart.

Oh, no, Fred, not my
new bowling ball!

'Keep quiet!'

'Okay, Barney'

'one good whack
should do it.'

When I nod my head...hit it.

If you say so, Fred.

toing

Not my head, you dope,
the ball!

Here, give me that mallet.

And this time,
you hold the chisel.

Now, hold still.

What are you doing?

Oh, gee, Fred,
it's a brand new ball.

Put that chisel back.

I can't do it, Fred.
I love that ball.

Put it back!

smack

Will you quit pulling
that chisel away?

crack

I did it!

I did it.
We're free.

Yabba dabba doo!

(Barney sobbing)

Now, what's troubling you?

Oh, it's like saying goodbye
to a close friend.

[sobbing]

Oh, knock it off,
will you?

We're free, and that's
more important.

Well, Fred, how did it go?

Did you two
finally get loose?

Yeah.

Fred got us outta one mess

and now he's gettin'
into another.

Go ahead, laugh, but this is
a million dollar idea.

And I'm gonna whip up
another batch of this stuff

before I forget the formula.

Fred, will you ever learn?

(Fred)
'Boy, some inspiration you are!'

'Remember, Wilma'

'"Behind every great man
there's a woman."'

Yeah, telling him
what he's doing wrong.

[chuckles]

Instead of nag, nag, nag,
why don't you help out?

Sorry Fred, what can
I do to help?

Well, you can hand
me that bottle

of seaweed extract
over there.

Seaweed extract, coming up.
Here you are, Fred.

- 'Now, the cactus juice.'
- Cactus juice.

- Stone dust.
- 'Stone dust.'

- Carbon pterodactyl hide.
- 'Carbon whatever-you-said.'

- H-two-O.
- Water.

- 'Don't be funny.'
- Sorry, dear.

This is gonna be it, Wilma.
A new era in science.

Who knows, I could be
another Einstone.

Now, let me see.

Oh, yeah yeah,
one more ingredient.

Wilma, hand me the can
on the top shelf.

(Wilma)
'Okay dear.'

Oh, Fred, is that
what you used before?

'"Rockbaum's steel grip glue."'

Of course.
What do you think

gives my secret formula
holding power?

We're gonna be rich, Wilma!
Filthy rich and we--

Ro-Ro-Ro-Rockbaum's
steel grip glue?

- Oh, no!
- Yes, Fred.

You just invented a glue
that's been on the market

for 20 years.

Come on, let's forget
the whole thing.

That's right, walk out on me.

Give up when
the going gets tough.

Well, I ain't giving up.
I'll invent something else.

Come on, Barney,
I'll invent your dinner.

Yeah. He, he, he.
See you later, Fred.

Maybe we could go bowling.
He he he.

And if you need any
more inspiration

I'll be in the kitchen.

[chuckling]

Just remember one thing.

Thomas Edistone wasn't
built in a day you know.

Or, er, something like that.

And don't you forget it!

[theme song]

Flintstones
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday maybe Fred
will win the fight

And that cat will stay out
for the night

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba dabba doo time

A dabba doo time

We'll have a gay old time

thud

thud

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!

bang bang bang