The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 4, Episode 6 - The Flintstone Canaries - full transcript

Fred and Wilma's favorite TV show, Hum Along with Herman, organize a "Barber shop quartet" contest. Fred organizes it with the help of two gravel pit workmates and Barney at the last moment. However, since Barney is unable to sing except in the bathtub, Fred organize the act with a rolling bathtub in order that Barney can sing the right notes. But bringing the bathtub into Bedrock is not such an easy task...

Fred, it's chilly in here.
In fact, it's freezing!


Oh-h-h, it's cold!

Fred, will you please
turn up the heat?

It feels like we're back
in the ice age.

Wilma, the ice age isn't due
for another 30,000 years.

'Even Dino's freezing.'

brrr brrr brrr

Okay, Wilma, okay, if you
wanna run up a big fuel bill

I'll accommodate you.

Feeling cold is all in the mind.

There, I put it up to 20.


Alright, alright,
I get the message.

Throw another log on the fire.

Hmm, that's better.

Well, time for bed,

Kiss daddy goodnight.


Goodnight, precious,
sleep tight.

woof woof woof

'Say goodnight
to Fred, too, Dino.'


Down, boy, down!
Heel! Heel!

muah muah muah


Cut it out,
you mixed up mutt!

[theme song]


Ee-yabba dabba doo!

meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're with
the Flintstones

You'll have
a yabba dabba doo time

A dabba doo time

You'll have a gay old time

'Well, Mr. Flintstone,
Mr. Rubble'

'ready for your workout?'

Sure, Mr. Stoney,
what do we do first?

Yeah, like, uh,
what's easy?


First, we begin
with some calisthenics.

Now, do as I do.

One two, one two..


- How's this?
- Splendid!

Now, a couple of these
toe touchers.

One two, one two..

And then, the other side..

'One two, one two..'

Next, twist right,
turn left.

'Ha-hah, you're doing fine.'

A little faster now.

Stretch, turn, twist.
Stretch, turn, twist.

There we are.
Now, wasn't that easy?

I'd hate to have
to do the hard stuff.

'Now, you men continue
to workout.'

When you're through,
I'll give you a rubdown.

Hey, how about
a little shadowboxing, Fred?

Good idea, Barn.
It'll loosen us up.

You know, I used to be
pretty good with my dukes.


Never lost to my
shadow yet.




A comedian, huh, Barney?


Now, laugh that off.

What did I do?

Ah, here's something
in my speed, a punching bag.




Hey, what's that thing
for, Barney?

It's called
the Medicine Boulder.

You strengthen
your stomach muscles

by bouncing it
off your tummy.




That does it. I've had enough.
I'm goin' for my rubdown.

I wonder if this will
strengthen my head muscles.

Just relax,
Mr. Flintstone.

One of our expert masseurs
will rub you down.

Rocky, take over.

Now, boy, this rubdown'
gonna feel good.




bang bang bang

If this guy's an expert, I'm
glad I didn't get an amateur.

Ooh! Ow! Ooh! Eeh! Ow!




Now I know
what a pizza feels like.

Nothing like a refreshing
workout, huh, Fred?


I don't know, Barney,
I'm beat.

I think I'd rather
be fat and pudgy.

Come on, let's go home.

Hiya, Wilma.
I'm home.

Be with you shortly, dear.

Okay, Wilma.

Meanwhile, I'll pursue
my favorite hobby..

...watching TV.


'Oh, these old-type sets
are murder.'

Where are those rabbit ears?



'Come on, come on,
on your feet.'


Here we go.

Nah, picture's still fuzzy.

Uh-uh. Too bright.

'Ah, not enough contrast.'



Now the picture's perfect.

I know I look ridiculous,
but it's a living.

Hi, the gang and I
have been waiting for you.

So, why don't you
hum along with us?


It's the Hum-mmm Along
With Herman Show.

For people who
don't know the words.


Ho-ho, boy, I love this program.

It makes you feel
so intelligent.

Hey, Wilma, come on!
It's Hum Along With Herman.

Hum Along?
I'm hurrying.

Don't let them
start without me.

Oh, I forgot to sing
you a lullaby.

Um, lullaby and goodnight

la la la h-h-hmm♪

Goodnight, Pebbles.

The Soft Soap company

makers of the world's
softest soap..


Just smears some on,
and you'll be all washed up.

Mr. Hum Along Herman himself.

Hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum.

[audience applauding]

Hi, all you hummers.

We have a great show
for you tonight.

But first, let me tell you
about our exciting new

barbershop quartet contest.

A barbershop quartet contest.
Hey, that's a great idea!

'Yes, siree, gang.'

I'm inviting all
the Bedrock barbershop quartets

to audition for the show.

Those accepted
will appear next week.

And now, listen to this.

The winners will receive..

An imported sports car,
with motor in the rear.

Close the door, it's cold.

- Sorry.
- It's alright.

Oh, boy, one horse power!

And for the wives
of the winners

this stylish, fully let-out
wooly mammoth.

What a coat!

There's nothing like a fully
let-out woolly mammoth.

Also included in the prizes,
is this sensational

new automatic dishwasher.




And for you golfers,
a complete set of matched clubs

'from a puttin' pebble..'

' a one driving boulder.'


Wow, that's what I call
a powerful club!


(TV presenter)
'And for you music lovers'

'the latest
stereo record player..'

[pleasant music]

'...with automatic
record changer.'

- 'Wow!'
- 'Ooh!'

[jazz music]

What an age we live in!

Yeah, what'll they
think of next?

And for the grand prize,
a fabulous tropical vacation.

The winning quartet
and their families

will be flown
by Pterodactyl Airlines.

'That's right, folks.'

will fly you non-stop'

'to that famous
Pacific paradise..'

'...Boulder Beach!'

Glamorous, romantic
Boulder Beach.'

'Swimming, boating'

'and the best fishing
in the world.'



Now, that's what
I call fishing!

Wilma, start packing.
I'm gonna win that contest.

Fred, you don't even belong
to a barbershop quartet.

'A mere technicality.
I'll form my own.'

In fact, I'll phone the boys
right now to see who can sing.

I'll start with Barney.

Four, one, twenty-three,seven

eighty-six, zero,
eighteen, two, five.

Boy, I'm sure glad they
simplified the dialing system.

Hi, Freddie boy,
what's cookin'?

Plenty, Barney.
I wanna see you right away.

Sure, Fred,
I'd like to see you, too.

Good, good,
come right over.

Be there
in a jiffy, Fred.

- Barney!
- Fred!

'Alright, alright.'

'Don't you ever think
of knockin'?

[both laughing]

'Hey, listen, Barn.
How's your singin' voice?'

Oh, it's lovely, Fred.

Uh, matter of fact,
I'm soloing tonight.

Soloing? Where?

'In my bathtub,
every Tuesday and Saturday.'



Fred's entering
a barbershop quartet contest.

Yeah, and I'm looking
for guys with talent.

I'll test your voice.

Come on, we'll start
with the scale.

Oh, oh, sure.
The scale..

Uh, let's see,
I-I know the melody

but I'm not sure
about the words.

It goes, do re mi fa--

Oh, oh, oh, yeah yeah.

Do re mi fa so

ahem ahem

Do re mi fa so la to do

Thank you, Barney,
and as they say in showbiz

don't call us,
we'll call you.

Oh, boy!

We'll rehearse
for the singin' contest

right after lunch.

Now, where's
that noon whistle?


Hmm, 12 o'clock.


squeak squeak squeak



Okay, lunch time!

Knock it off!

Wonder what kind of sandwich
Wilma made for me.

Oh, no, fish again.

I'll skip lunch and start
with the rehearsal.

'Okay, group,
time to exercise our tonsil.'

Aren't you gonna give us
time for lunch? I'm starved!

Me too, Fred.

I'm all set to eat this
delectable, hard boiled

henasaurous egg.

crack crack


caw caw caw

Heh, heh, heh.

I guess you didn't
boil it long enough.

Look, fellas, if we're gonna
win that Hum Along contest

we gotta practice, practice
and more practice.

Ten minutes should do it.

We'll start with
"Stony River."

"Stony River", huh?

Yeah, yeah,
I like the old hits.

Everybody set?

tap tap tap

Yeah, except,
we can't read music.

Well, that's okay.
Fake it.

You know, like
the big singing stars do.

Now, uh, let me
give you the right pitch.




Now, you guys,
hum the intro to my solo.

Your solo?

'Well of course,
you gotta have a soloist.'

A one, a two,
a three.

Ooh ooh ooh

'Not bad, boys.
You need work, but not bad.'

Well, here goes.

Way down upon a Stony River

Far far away

There's where me heart
is turning ever

There's where
the old folks stay

All up

And down
the whole creation

Sadly I roam



Out of the pit!

Everybody, out of the pit!

Come on, Fred!

Still longing
for the old plantation

And for
the old folks at home

[indistinct mumbling]

Everywhere I roam♪


Oh, buck up, Fred.

Anybody can cause
a catastrophe.

We dug you out,
didn't we?

I was thinkin'
about that audition.

We'll never
make it with my voice.

True, but none of us
can sing the lead either.

Hey, you passed my corner.

screech screech


Sorry, Joe. I should've
put in safety belts.


Yeah, that's
a good thought, Fred.

See you tomorrow.

Well, that's the way
the bouncing ball bounces.

No lead voice.

No lead voice,
no barbershop quartet.

Figaro figaro figaro

Hey, that's
what I call a voice!

Figaro figaro figaro

Ha, ha, ha.
That Barney!

Whenever he gets a new record

he's gotta play it
for the neighborhood.

Okay, Barn, very nice.
Now turn down that darn..



Figaro figaro


Bein' a bath brush
is a nice clean job

but the soap makes me sneeze.

Barney, is that really you?

Why, I hope so, Fred.
Was me when I got in the tub.

I'm talkin' about your voice.

Oh, my voice.

Figaro figaro



What note was that?

Uh, high H.

Very few people can hit it.

Uh, now listen to this note.

I don't hear anything.

woof woof woof

It's, uh, such a high note
only dogs can hear it.

Okay, fellas,
the recital is over. Beat it.

woof woof woof

Barney, you have
just won yourself

a job of soloist with
the Flintstone Canaries.

The what?

The Flintstone Canaries.
My barbershop quartet.

We're entering the
"Hum Along with Herman" contest.

You be at my house
tonight for rehearsal.

B-but wait, Fred.

Uh, uh, I can't sing
with you. You see--

All I see is that free trip
to Bolder Beach.

Now, get your
clothes on, soloist.

Oh, sorry, Fred,
I can't sing with--

You'll sing,
or you'll get this.

- Get it?
- Oh, yeah, I get it.

Figaro figaro figaro♪

Tomorrow's the
audition, fellas

so let's get to work.

Oh, I don't know, Fred.

You think we're ready
to perform in public?

We haven't practiced enough.

Relax, relax.

Barney's voice'll carry us.
Wait till you hear him.

He'll bring
tears to your eyes.

(male #1)
'He sounds too good for us.'

Nobody's too good for
the Flintstone Canaries.

The Rubble Canaries.

The Rubble Canaries?

Why not?
I'm the lead, ain't I?

puff puff

Ahem, ahem.
Uh, may I have an A?

An A?

'Okay, I'll settle
for a B plus.'

Get in here!

Now, let's take it
from the top.

"Stony River." Go.

Ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

'Hit it, Barn.'

Way down upon
the Stony River


Far far away

You were right, Fred.

His voice does bring
tears to the eyes.

It's terrible!

I get it, Barney.

You're trying
to throw the song.

Now where's the voice
I heard in your house?

Still in the bathtub, Fred.

'What are you babblin' about?'

I tried to tell you, Fred.
I'm just a bathtub tenor.

Out of the tub,
I can't sing a note.

'That's for sure.'

Hum Along Herman
expects us to audition.

- Now what will we do?
- Simple, Fred.

We invite Herman
to my bathroom.

I'll get in the tub and--

Get outta here!
You in the tub.


Wait a minute,
that gives me an idea.

I don't know, Fred.

This whole business
is kinda kooky.

Yeah, Herman's liable to toss us
right out of the audition.

Now, don't worry.

Everything will be fine
once he hears our soloist.

Huh, Barney?

Oh, this tub's
awful heavy, Fred.

And what happens
if my landlord finds it

missing from the bathroom?

Forget your landlord!
Just keep that tub rolling.


But I'm still not happy

about taking a bath
in front of an audience.

Uh-oh. I-I can't
go through with it.

What's the matter now?

I forgot my bath brush.

squeak squeak

Hey, the tub,
it's gettin' away!


Look out!
Run away tub!

ding ding

screech screech

ding ding

'Run away tub!'


Duh, wow.

Must be one of them
new compacts.

Oh, boy!

From now on,
I stick to showers.

Hey, this is the parade route.

[blowing whistle]

Stop, in the name of the..


How do you like that?

A hit-and-run bathtub.

[band music]

General, this is the most
impressive military display

I've ever witnessed.

Thank you, governor.

But wait until you see
our new secret weapon.

It should be along any minute.

Look out!



I don't know
what you call it, general

but I'm sure glad..'s on our side.

Heh, heh, hey!
This isn't too bad.

Have tub, will travel.
Ha, ha, ha.

All it needs
is a radio and a heater.



There goes another one of those
middle-aged sport car nuts.


Dabba dabba!

'The shopping center when I
didn't even bring a list!'


'Coming through!
Coming through!'


clank clank

'Coming through!
Coming through!'

'The name's Flintstone.'

'Put it all on my bill.'

Hey, you forgot your stamps!

(policeman #1)
'I'll deliver 'em.'


Don't worry, honey.

I just did the shopping
for the whole year!

crash crash


Where'd he go?
Where'd he go?

Wow, what an ugly dummy!


Boy, that was close!

Better hurry if I'm gonna
make the audition.

La la-la la la la la la

La la la la la la

La la la la la la la

What do you think
of the audition so far, sir?

Well, they're okay,
if you like animal acts.

La la la la la
la la la la-la

Frankly, Herman,
the agency

is a little worried
about your show.

But, but my rating's
gone up to minus 20.

Oh, it's not the rating.

It's our sponsor,
Mr. Sockso.

He's getting tired
of the same old commercial.

Wants something
new and catchy.

Well let's see
what else we have.

Okay, next!

How do you do, gentlemen?

We are the
Flintstone Canaries.

Oh, no!

Not another
trained animal act.

[peppy music]

Shooboob bee doop
Shooboob bee doop

Shooboob bee doop
Shooboob bee doop

All the world am

Sad and dreary

Everywhere I roam

Shooboo bee doo aah

Oh my darlin'
how my heart grows weary

Far from the old folks
at home

Shooboob bee doo
roo ba raba dubaa

Shooboob shooboob
bab aaah

Great! Wonderful!
What do you think, sir?

They're just what
we're looking for!

Congratulations, Flintstone!
Your group is sensational!

You mean,
we passed the audition?

Not only that..'re gonna be
on next week's show!

Yaaba dabba doo!

You hear that, Barney?

What have you got
to say for yourself?

Get me out of this tub,
will you? I-I'm freezin'.



[all laughing]

Doodap daa dooroo

I don't understand it.

The boys said
they'd be on TV tonight.

And "Hum Along"
is almost over.

Well, that's it
for tonight, gang.

Hope you enjoyed the show.

Hum hum hum hum

Hum along
hum along hum along

[drum roll]

Until next week

this is the
"Hum Along With Herman Show"

reminding you
to buy soft soap.

Soft soap, because..

La tadum dum dum

Soft soap
is the soap for you

Soft soap soft soap

Gentle for babies
and brontosaurus too

It prevents embarrassment

Good heavens!
It's Barney and Fred!


Soft soap
in your bathtub

Use a great big hunk

Better buy some
soft soap quick

Before they call you skunk

Soft soap soft soap

Soft soap

[theme song]

meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Some day
maybe Fred will win a fight

And that cat will stay out
for the night

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba dabba doo time

A dabba doo time

We'll have a gay old time


We'll have a gay old time


thud thud thud