The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 4, Episode 26 - Operation Switchover - full transcript

'Yes, darling. This is Hedda.
But may I call you back?'

We're getting ready to announce

our Good Cavekeeping
Contest winner.

You are a darling, darling.
Toodle-oo.

[bird cawing]

- Now, darling.
- Careful, sister.

As I was saying, you're sure
this Flintstone girl

is the one we want?

Well, the staff agreed.
She's our first choice.

In a way, she's like you,
Ms. Rocker.

Efficient but very feminine.



[Hoyt Curtin's
"Meet The Flintstones"]

[squawk]

Ee-yabba-dabba-doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're with
the Flintstones

Have a yabba-dabba-doo time,
a dabba-doo time

We'll have a gay old time

[instrumental music]

[crashing]



(Barney)
'Yes sir-ee, Fred.'

'The best part of
going to work everyday'

is comin' home
every night, right?

Right, Barn, the wife
waiting with the slippers.

The fire lit.
Oh, it's great.

No king had it
as good as we do.

You can say that again.
Goodnight, Barney.

Goodnight, Fred.

Ah, my castle.

Light the candles, Wilma.
Your king is home.

Hi, Fred. Clean your hands
and wash your face.

'Change your shirt
and comb your hair.'

Hold it, Mrs. F.

Because you go to
so much trouble for me

and keep such a beautiful home,
I am going to reward you.

- Here's a kiss. Mwah, mwah.
- Careful, Fred.

You'll, o-oh,
wrinkle my apron.

Wha..

You like the flowers here, Fred?

I don't know, Wilma.
What a reception for a king!

- 'Don't sit there.'
- What's the matter?

What's the matter?

I just fluffed the pillows.
You'll make a dent.

A man's house is his castle.
Huh! Some castle!

Fred, get off the floor,
I just cleaned it.

If this is a king's life,
where do I abdicate?

Fred, will you please
get washed up?

What is goin' on here, Wilma?
Where's Pebbles and Dino?

I sent them over to Betty's
while I finish dusting.

A-a-achoo!

She knows I'm allergic to dust.

You sent Dino and Pebbles
over to Betty? Why?

So we can be
alone for a while.

O-oh, you romantic
little devil.

So it's just
you and me tonight, huh?

No, Fred. It's me and the judges
from Good Cavekeeping magazine.

Why?

I'm one of the finalists
in their

Housewife Of The Year Contest.

So that's what
this is all for?

I'm playing second fiddle
to a ladies magazine. Oh!

Fred, please keep
out of the way.

The committee will
be here any minute.

Boy, Wilma, I don't know about
housewife but if they're looking

for fishwife of the year,
you got my vote.

- 'I'm going out to eat.'
- Oh, oh, Fred, I'm sorry.

It's just that I'm so nervous.
500 dollars is a lot of money.

- 500 bucks?
- That's first prize.

Plus a week's vacation
in Rock Vegas for two.

Just for bein'
a housewife?

For being the perfect housewife.
You'll help, won't you, dear?

- Fred, what are you doing?
- You gotta be careful, Wilma.

You'll wrinkle your apron.

The judges from
Good Cavekeeping are coming.

O-oh, you have
a charming home, my dear.

Thank you. Have another
hors d'oeuvre.

(lady #1)
'Oh, no, thank you,
Mrs. Flintstone.'

'I'm afraid
I've had too many.'

'And those peanut butter
sandwiches were delicious.'

(lady #2)
'I can see by
Mr. Flintstone's waistline'

'that you're
a wonderful cook.'

(lady #1)
'Yes, he does look well fed,
doesn't he?'

And mother always said
the way to a man's heart

is through
his stomach.

How true
and what's more

A fat husband
is a jolly husband.

'Right, Mr. Flintstone?'

- 'Ha ha ha.'
- 'Ha ha ha.

[laughing]

Oh, I'm glad to see
you're an old fashioned girl

Mrs. Flintstone.

Oh, so am I. Most of our young
cavewoman today want careers.

They aren't happy just staying
at home and keeping house.

Well, I am. Besides, Fred
wouldn't have it any other way

would you dear?

Nope, I don't go for these
smart efficient women.

I like them like Wilma here.
Cute and helpless.

Helpless?

When a man gets married,
he's supposed to do the work.

The little woman stays home
and takes it easy.

- Takes it easy?
- Well, we must be going.

It's been lovely meeting you.
You'll be hearing from us.

And Mr. Flintstone, watch that
waistline. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha.

She should talk
about weight.

I saw a brontosaurus
take first it its class

with a better shape
than hers.

Fred, do you think what I do
around here all day is easy?

Aw, sweetheart,
I wasn't criticizing.

'You keep a neat house
and you're a perfect mother.'

I don't want
you to work.

- 'Hi, Wilma.'
- How are you, Fred?

We saw the committee leave.
How did it go, Wilma?

(Wilma)
'Well, they learned about me
and I learned about Fred.'

[babies babbling]

Pebbles. There's my
little Pebbly-Poo.

Come to your daddy,
my precious little baby.

'Wich-guch-guch-guch.'

[kids laughing]

He likes his women
cute and helpless.

Who doesn't, Wilma?
That's the best way. Ha ha ha.

Barney, what do you think
Betty does all day?

Gee, uh, I don't know.
Fools around, I guess.

You heard him, Betty.

Your husband thinks
you fool around all day.

So does mine.

Ha! They should
change places with us

and see
who fools around.

Hey, Bamm-Bamm,
put that down.

Hey, uh, you better
look at your son.

(Betty)
'Hm, he's always my son
when he's naughty.'

Bamm-Bamm, put
that TV set back.

Barney, you better
put it back.

- Yeah, okay, Betty.
- Isn't that cute?

He brought it over so
Pebbles can watch it.

[babbling]

[grunting]

I can't even move it.

[baby talk]

(Fred)
'Oh, boy, is that kid powerful.'

(Barney)
'Yeah, I'm sure glad
he's on our side.'

Well, Barney, do you
think keeping up

with Bamm-Bamm is easy?

Not to speak of washing,
ironing, cooking, and cleaning.

Hey, what's eatin' you, Wilma?

'Ah, it's something
I said before, Barney.'

I didn't mean you were
playing exactly, Wilma.

But I'm not working,
is that it?

Well, no, I mean,
not a real job.

You think your job
is harder than mine, huh?

(Fred)
'Are you kiddin'
or something, Wilma?'

(Wilma)
'I say my job is harder work.
Much harder.'

Oh, Wilma,
you're being ridiculous.

Prove it. I dare you to change
jobs with me for one day.

Ha ha! For Pete's sake,
what do you know

about working
in the quarry?

Nothing.

'But I'll bet you
breakfast in bed for a week'

'if it's easier
than working here.'

Okay, Wilma,
I think you're wacky

but if you really wanna go
through with it, you are on.

Alright, I'll give
you my schedule.

Promise me you'll
follow it exactly.

Yes, dear.
Ha ha ha.

Barney, isn't she cute?
A schedule for housework.

Ha ha ha.
Can you imagine that?

Alright, Fred.
Here is your schedule.

Boy, that's some list.

You sure you can handle
all that, Fred?

Are you kiddin'? Tomorrow's
gonna be like taking a day off.

I'm gonna sleep
all afternoon.

- Ha ha ha.
- Ha ha ha.

[clock ticking]

[alarm ringing]

[bang]

Watch it, buster.

Wilma, get up.

'Not until breakfast
is ready, dear.'

And just where are you
planning to cook breakfast?

'Under the blankets?'

I'm not cooking it, darling.
You are. Remember?

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah,
today's my day off.

Okay, Wilma,
breakfast in 20 minutes.

Now, this is what
I call a breakfast.

Mountain goat meat,
bronto sausages and eggs.

French toast with
cactus berry jelly.

- Mm.
- Wilma.

Mm?

I slave over a hot stove
and you don't say a word.

Wilma,
talk to me.

Mm, amalgamated rocks
are up 10 points.

Pebbles will appreciate
her daddy's cooking.

Here's your breakfast,
Pebbles sweetheart.

Na-na-na-na-na.

Well, so long, Fred.
See you after work.

'Hey, Wilma, wait.
Why isn't Pebbles eating?'

Because she's a baby,
not a truck driver.

You have to cook her
baby food and cereal.

It's on the schedule,
remember?

Oh, oh, yeah,
the-the schedule.

[Pebbles crying]

Better hurry it up.
She's hungry.

Daddy'll have it
in a jiffy, Pebbles.

[growling]

Haven't you
fed Dino yet?

[crash]

[growling]

'Goodness, you are behind.'

[phone ringing]

Wilma, the phone is ringing.

It's for you, dear.

You're head of the telephone
committee this morning.

They'll be checking in
with you all day.

Who will be doing what?

The Ladies Auxiliary Committee.
It's all on the schedule.

- Well, enjoy your day off.
- I will.

And don't work
too hard at the quarry.

A helpless, cute little girl
like me? Ha ha.

I wouldn't know how.

Have fun. Bye.

[Pebbles crying]

Coming, Pebbles.
Okay, Dino.

[growling]

Look out, below.

Not bad, Wilma. Drop it
in the pit next time.

Got ya, Charlie. Ha ha.

Poor Fred, I really got the best
of his deal. This is fun.

Look out, below.

[shouting]
In the pit, Wilma.
The pit.

- 'Oh, I'm sorry, Charlie.'
- What's goin' on here?

- Oh, hello, boss.
- Who is that?

Flintstone was sick, so his wife
came down to take his place.

- What?
- Yup. That's Wilma.

'Right, Charlie.'

Now, just a minute,
Mrs. Flintstone.

'Look out, below.'

[muttering]

You need a little more practice,
Wilma. See ya around.

Lunchtime already.
Gee, the time went fast.

Oh, and I must call Fred.
Thanks, Hugo.

- Mrs. Flintstone.
- Hi, Mr. Slate.

Gee, what's wrong?

You look like you just crawled
out from under a rock.

O-Oh!

[muttering]

Oh, excuse me, Mr. Slate.

I'd like to chat but pity
the poor working girl.

I've got to make a call, eat
lunch, and get back on the job.

[whistling]

I got to get the dishes stacked,
put the cake in the oven.

Close the door.
I better check the list.

Iron Fred's clothes.
Well, I'm behind schedule.

Easy does it.

Might as well do them
all at once and save time.

[phone ringing]

Oh, no.
Not the phone again.

Hello.

(Wilma)
'Fred, you sound out of breath.
Is anything wrong?'

Oh, uh, of course uh-uh,
ev-ev-everything's just fine.

[loud clattering]

Fred, what happened?

Oh, th-that, no-nothing, dear.
That was the-the TV.

One of those old western movies,
you know how noisy they are.

Better turn it off, Fred.

Loud noises will
make the cake drop.

Okay, Wilma. I'll do that.
Goo-goodbye.

The cake! The cake!

Oh, swell.
It dropped, alright.

[Pebbles crying]

Pebbles!

'Don't cry, sweetheart.
It's just a few dishes.'

There, there, there easy,
Pebbles baby.

Oh, you'd think the house was
burning down. There now, you.

[sniffing]

Burning?

Burning!

Oh no!

[wailing]

Wilma!

- Here, I'll get it for you.
- No, let me.

You're doing it all wrong.

What's the meaning of this?

Scram fellas,
it's the boss.

It's past lunchtime.

Now, get back
to work, you guys.

Hello, Mr. Slate.

My lunch pail got stuck

and the boys were
helping me open it.

- Wasn't that nice?
- My, how chivalrous.

There'll be openings
around here, alright.

[shouting]
Job openings!

I'm s-sorry, Mr. Slate,
I won't let it happen again.

Wait, Mrs. Flintstone.
I want to talk to you.

'Haven't time, Mr. Slate.
Got a job to do, you know.'

[talking gibberish]

Four o'clock. Start dinner.

Maybe Wilma won't mind
cleaning up this mess

once she's had a sample
of my brontosaurus stroganoff.

Let's see now.
First, I make the rice.

I wonder how much
you need for two people.

That doesn't look like enough.
I better use the whole box.

There! That should do it.

You come with me, Pebbles

and daddy'll get the gardening
done while that rice is cooking.

Having fun, Pebbles?

[babbling]

Ha ha ha.

- Ready, Charlie.
- Alright now, Wilma.

- Put it in the old bullseye.
- Hold it, Charlie.

Tell Mrs. Flintstone
I want to talk to her right now.

Okay, boss.
Hey, Wilma, the--

Right, Charlie.
Right on the old button.

Mrs. Flintstone,
I want a word with you.

(Wilma)
'Look out, below.'

[crashing]

- 'How was that, Charlie?'
- O-oh, Mrs. Flintstone!

Mr. Slate, are you alright?

(Mr. Slate)
'Go home, Mrs. Flintstone!
Go home! Go home!'

'Hiya, Fred,
how you doing?'

Barney, what are you doing here?
Why aren't you working?

Well, I left early.

I thought you might be
needing some help by now.

You sound like Wilma. There's
nothing to this job, Barney.

Anyone can do 45 or 50 things in
one day, if they're organized.

- And I am organized.
- 'Attaboy, Fred.'

I am now an expert
in housework.

Any questions you want
answered, just ask me.

Okay, uh, how come
it's snowing in your backyard?

What?

I just walked through your
backyard, and it's snowing.

Barney, don't be so dumb.

Look at this
beautiful sunny day.

Now, how can it be snowing
in my backyard?

I don't know but I wouldn't go
back there without a shovel.

'Oh, no!'

You see, Fred,
I told you so.

Yeah, I see, I see, Barney,
I see. It's the rice.

I left it cooking too long.

[phone ringing]

That must be Wilma.

- Hello.
- Fred, how is it going?

Is everything alright?

'Oh, everything's dandy,
just dandy.'

'Are you ready
to give up, Wilma?'

Are you comin' home, huh?
Are you, are you, huh?

'No, Fred. As long as
everything's alright'

Betty and I are gonna
eat dinner downtown

and go to a movie.

You see, I did such a good job

that Mr. Slate gave me
the rest of the day off.

'He gave you the rest
of the day off?'

Yes, wasn't that sweet of him?

'Well, I'm leaving here now.'

- 'See you later. Bye.'
- Bye, Wilma.

Barney, help me shovel
this rice out.

Wilma isn't coming home
for dinner anyway.

Oh, sure, Fred.

But how about calling
the Red Cross?

This place sure looks like
a disaster area. Ha ha ha.

Wilma was absolutely right.

Housework is harder
and I'm gonna tell her so.

Yup, it couldn't
be any worse.

It couldn't be any worse if
I had the whole lodge in here.

playin' poker all night.

Hey, Barney, did you
hear what I just said?

Yup, it couldn't be any worse
but I said it first, Fred.

Not that, you dummy.
About playing poker.

Wilma and Betty
aren't coming home till late.

And any guy who works
as hard as I do

deserves a little
relaxation, right?

Right, Fred. You call the guys.

I'll get a sitter over at
my house to stay with the kids.

- Raise.
- And I raise you.

I call.

And I think
I'll have a sandwich.

Yeah, yeah, sure.
Help yourself, Joe.

'Boy, Fred, this place
is a mess.'

Ah, don't worry about it.

Wilma will get it
when she gets home.

Yeah, ha ha ha.

Nothing like havin'
a little housewife

to clean up around the house.

[all laughing]

[phone ringing]

(Fred)
'Deal me out, while I answer
that, fellows.

- 'Hello.'
- 'Hello, Mr. Flintstone.'

This is Hedda Rocker speaking.

Hedda Rocker, darling.

I'm the editor of
Good Cavekeeping magazine.

- 'Oh, well, Wilma isn't--'
- It's alright, darling.

You don't have to call her.
Just tell her to look pretty.

I'll be over in 20 minutes.
I'm bringing a photographer.

Twenty minutes,
I'll tell her. Bye.

She won, oh boy.

Five hundred bucks.
A trip to Rock Vegas.

Whoa, whoa.
Who-who-who's that, Fred?

'Oh, just the editor of
the magazine that's running'

'the contest Wilma entered.'

She's gonna be here
in 20 minutes.

20 minutes! She can't!
Barney, check all the movies.

- Get Wilma.
- There isn't time, Fred.

Hey, why is she coming now
in the middle of our game?

This must be
the final judging.

She probably has to make
a decision right now.

O-oh, if I blow this,
Wilma will kill me.

Now, hear this,
lodge brothers.

This is red light.

Repeat, red light!

We gotta get
this place spotless.

And I do mean now.

Barney, do you know
how to make hors d'oeuvres?

I don't know,
what are they?

'Those fancy little things
ladies go for.'

I'll set up an auxiliary kitchen
and I'll make some.

You can depend on me, Fred.

Joe, you still have that costume
I wore at the lodge show?

Sure, sure.
I'll get it, buddy.

Okay, you guys,
let's dig in.

I've got 20 minutes to become
housewife of the year.

[instrumental music]

Faster, guys, faster.

I hope you brought
plenty of film.

Right, boss.

They tell me she's
a pretty little thing.

Let's catch an informal shot
of her as she opens the door.

Check boss.
I'm all set.

[buzzing]

Coming, Miss Rocker.
Hello, there.

Won't you come in?

(Ms. Rocker)
'Oh, thank you, darling.'

That pretty little thing

is the homeliest dame
I ever saw in my life.

- You look charming, my dear.
- Oh, thank you so much.

You have a darling home here.
You've done so much with it.

You can say that again.

- I mean, won't you sit down?
- 'Thank you, darling.'

You're a charming hostess.

[clattering]

What was that?

Uh, that was my dog, Dino.

When he crunches a good bone,
you can hear him for a mile.

I got some shots of the house,
Miss Rocker. What next?

'Just sit down, Flash,
while we chat a bit.'

[clattering]

'Don't sit there.'

I mean, try this,
it's much more comfortable.

A-ah.

'Here, let me help you.'

Now, you two sit
right here and be cozy.

I'll bring some refreshments.

Boy, that is one weird dame.
But you know something?

I wish I had a wife
with muscles like that.

Oh, uh, Fred said to make
some hors d'oeuvres.

But, uh, what can I use
to spread on crackers?

Mm, it's not bad.

I think I just saw another can
of Dino's dog food

up here in the cupboard.

I'll have the hors d'oeuvres
for us in a minute.

Now, we'll just add a little
Tabasco and a lot of chili

and then I'll add
some cactus salt.

(Ms. Rocker)
'You're such
a delightful hostess.'

'But you shouldn't
fuss so, darling.'

Believe me,
it's no trouble at all.

- 'Hors d'oeuvres coming up.'
- Oh, oh, that's my cue.

Here we are.

I don't know how you do it,
Wilma. You're amazing.

Please, Miss Rocker,
try one.

You'll find them
delicious, I hope.

My, they're marvelous.
What are they?

An old family recipe.

They're called Barney's Best.

How exotic!

As Good Cavekeeping's
housewife of the year

you're going to have
to share these recipes.

You mean, Wilma wins?
I mean, I win.

I made my decision when I walked
into this spotless house.

Congratulations, my dear.

(Ms. Rocker)
'What are you doing?'

Five hundred bucks
and a trip to Rock Vegas.

Eee-yabba-dabba-do!

Wilma, control yourself,
darling.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's just
that you made me so happy.

Hold that pose.
The powerhouse wife of the year.

'Good morning, Wilma.
Breakfast is served.'

- Good morning, Fred.
- Oh, that looks lovely.

Nothing's too good for
the housewife of the year.

Ha ha. It's lucky the people
at Good Cavekeeping

have a sense of humor.

After I confessed, they said
they were gonna give it to you

even if you hadn't
been home last night.

Mwah! I mean, if I hadn't.

Well, uh, anyway,
you earned it.

Believe me, now that
I know how tough your job is

I wouldn't have
it for anything.

Your turn now, Fred.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Now that I know how tough your
job is, I'm happy with my job.

Here's your breakfast, dear.

Ah boy, we're lucky.
You know that?

Mm-hm. Because we've got
each other. Mwah!

Not to mention $500
and a trip to Rock Vegas.

Oh, it's so exciting.

Is there anything about it
in the paper this morning?

- Well, eh, I..
- Let's see.

Oh, it's-it's-it's
just a picture.

Well, I wanna see it.

I better warn you, Wilma,
it's not too flattering.

Let's see it.

Oh, no.

'They didn't have time
to cancel the picture, Wilma.'

I'm going to be
the laughingstock

of this town, Fred Flintstone.
You-you..

You sure could use
a good permanent.

- Ha ha ha.
- 'Ha ha ha.'

'You know something, Wilma?
You are one good kid.'

- What a picture. Ha ha ha!
- What a picture. Ha ha ha!

[Hoyt Curtin's
"Meet The Flintstones"]

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page right
out of history

Someday, maybe Fred
will win the fight

And that cat will
stay out for the night

When you're with
the Flintstones

Have a yabba-dabba-doo time,
a dabba-doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!