The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 4, Episode 21 - Room for Two - full transcript

[scatting]

Just what are you
doing in my house?

Correction, Fred.
Our house.

Here's the new deed.

It seems we built
half on my land.

This is the property line.

(Fred)
'Barney, you sneaky
double crosser!'

Okay, Rubble, this means war!

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family



From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with
the family down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba dabba doo time

A dabba doo time

You'll have
a gay old time

crash

[yawning]

Am I beat!

Oh, sure is nice to come home
where a guy can unravel

and relax after
a long day's work.

poing poing



Okay, okay!
Stop pushing.

[snoring]

'Uh-oh, it's Dino.
Sound asleep.'

What a break!

Maybe I can sneak by him
without going through

his wild
welcome-home-the-master bit.

I think I made it.

Hey!

woof woof woof

thud

Oh, cut it out!
stop! Heel! Heel, Di..

muah

I was prepared for this.
Here, Dino.

Fetch the bone.

woof woof woof

screech

That Dino is enough to make
a guy wanna go back to work.

Dino! Shee! I wonder
how he does that.

- See you later, Wilma.
- 'Bye, Betty.'

What I need is a watchdog
for my watchdog.

Hi, Wilma.
What's for dinner?

Braised brontosaurs ribs
and rockerford dressing.

Huh? Wilma again?
Then who's that?

So long, Betty.

Now, let's not carry this good
neighbor stuff too far, Fred.

Bye, Wilma.

[giggles]

Relax, Betty.

Last night Fred kissed
the vacuum cleaner

I left standing near the door.

Ah, dinner'll be ready
in a minute, dear.

- Go say hello to Pebbles.
- Oh, yeah yeah.

[chuckling]

Hello, little Pebbly poo.
And how's daddy's little girl?

[babbling]

Hey! Help! Wilma!

crash

Ohhh!

[thuds]
Ouch!

Wilma, what's all this
junk doing here?

Why wasn't it put away?

Sorry, Fred. There's
no place to put them.

The closets are full.

You've been promising to add on
a room for over a year.

We need the space.

Alright, okay, I'll start
on the new room tomorrow

and that's a promise, okay?

Oh, Fred, you mean it?
At last?

Yeah, I mean it. I'll call
Barney after dinner.

He'll give me a hand.

Gee, Fred, that's a lot of work.
Do you think Barney'll do it?

Well, of course he will.
Barney's my best pal.

And best pals do
what they're told.

That's what friends are for.

chomp

I'm really stuffed.
I couldn't eat another bite.

Good timing, Fred.
There's not a bite left.

Huh? Oh.
He, he, he, yeah.

- Er, where's the toothpicks?
- Right behind you.

Oh, thanks.

Ouch!

Doesn't he know it's impolite
to pick his teeth at the table?

Well, I guess I better go
rehearse my acceptance speech

for being chosen
Water Buffalo of the Year.

Don't you think you should wait
to see if you won first, Fred?

Oh, ho, ho, ho,
it's in the bag, Wilma.

I checked all the votes.

Half the guys are
voting for Rockhead.

The other half is voting for me.

Barney's the deciding vote.
Heh, heh, heh.

Naturally, he'll work for me.

Old Barney's a good egg.

Well don't count your friendly
egg before he's hatched.

[both chuckle]

"Dearly beloved water buffaloes,
we are gathered here to honor--

Excuse me, dear,
it's Pebbles' bedtime.

- Kiss her goodnight.
- "We.." Huh?

Oh! Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

muah

Goodnight, sweetheart.
Sleep tight.

slurp

Now, cut that out!
Go on, go to bed.

Oh Fred, after all,
you started it.

You kissed Dino first.

Oh.

Goodnight, baby.

Now, let's see, where was I?

You were saying what
a great man you were.

But it'd be best
if you did it elsewhere.

You might
keep Pebbles awake.

She's practically
asleep already.

Let's leave her alone.

Alright, alright, I'll rehearse
in the living room.

"And I might add, humbly

it couldn't happen
to a nicer guy than me."

Fred, please,
I'm trying to read.

Would you mind practicing
your speech in the kitchen?

Oh, boy! Whoever said
"A man's home is his castle"

was probably a woman.

"Therefore, I modestly
accept this..

[motor running]

Shee! I can't hear myself talk
with that washing machine going.

[snoring]

Oh, no! Now, Dino
has to start snoring.

What a racket!

[continues snoring]

That does it! This place
sounds like a rock factory.

I'm calling Barney and tell him
we start adding on a room

'first thing in the morning.'

At least I'll have
one private room.

- Hiya, Fred.
- Hiya, Barney.

Say, I.. Huh?

Oh, never mind.
You just walked in.

Just walked in?
What are you trying to pull?

You're supposed to be home
answering the phone.

Gee, I didn't know.
I better get before you hang up.

Hold it, Barney!

Now, settle down. I got
a couple of questions for ya.

We've been pals
for a long time, right?

Right, Fred.

And true pals always
help out in a pinch, right?

- Right.
- Well, I'm in a pinch.

I need a room added on,
we start work in the morning.

- But I--
- 'Bright and early.'

Now I know what it feels like
to be drafted.

According to the plans, we
should stake out the area first.

Well how do you like
your steaks?

Rare, medium or well done?

[Barney chuckling]
Heh, heh, heh.

Will you knock off that corn?

The first stake, it should
drive in...right about here.

And then we can start
forming up the foundation.

That's it!

Yeaow!

Will you quit using
a curve stake?

Here's a straight one.

Now, try not to goof
this one up, will you?

I will, Fred.
I mean I won't, Fred.

toing

You know what this means,
don't you, Barney?

Okay, Fred,
I owe you one.

bang

Okay, Barn,
the forms are ready.

You can start
pouring the concrete.

Right, Fred. Get ready.
Here it comes.

creak creak creak

If I wasn't a high school
dropout, I'd get a better job.

(Barney)
'When you have enough,
Fred, just say when.'

Okay, Barn.

When.

When.

When!

This is what happens
when you use cheap help.

[sawing]

Can't get a much smoother
plane than that.

Yeah, but my choppers will
never be the same again.

The boys sure have been
working hard.

They've been at it
for days now.

Mmm-hmm. And at last
the new room is shaping up.

Even little Bambam has been
getting into the act.

Hey, Fred, have you checked
the level of that beam yet?

Uh, I was just gonna do that.

Now, let's see now.
No, no, it's not level.

- Can you push up a little more?
- Oh, sure thing.

Uh, up a little
higher, Bambam.

[babbling]

How's that, Fred?

(Fred)
'I think it's.. No no no.
Yeah. Yeah, perfect, Barney.'

'It's level.'

It's sure handy to have

the strongest boy
in the world for a son.

[babbling]

[all laugh]

Okay, Barn, now,
tighten the bolts.

Right, Fred.

One picture window
coming up.

[drilling]

Boy, this modern equipment
makes building a snap!

Uh-oh, we'll have
to fix that.

bang bang bang

Thanks, pal.

Bring the roof
a little more this way.

'Hold it, back a little.'

'Back, back. Easy now.'

'Forward a mite.'

'Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, back, back.'

Make up your mind.
This thing is heavy.

(Barney)
'Uh, now, down.'

crash

Perfect fit, Fred!

thud

Hey, what happened, Fred?

We got the roof on
just in time, Barney.

Because we just ran out
of dinosaur power.

[panting]

Well, we're almost
finished, Barn.

After this last coat of paint,
we can call it quits.

It just goes to show ya

what you can accomplish
with slave labor.

Or should I say,
slave neighbor?

[Barney chuckles]

I hope he remembers
to clean his brush.

I hate to go home
with a sticky tail.

Well, Fred, at last
it's finished.

Yeah. Maybe now I can
find peace and quiet

in my own private den.

Hey, Fred, we better get going
to the Water Buffalo meeting.

- Tonight's the big night.
- Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.

Tonight, we are
going to pick

The Water Buffalo
of the Year, you know.

And may the best man win.

You mean that Fred?

Never spoke a truer word
in my life.

Heh, heh, heh.

(male #1)
'The royal order
of Water Buffaloes'

'have come to the highlight
of the evening.'

Men, tonight we choose
from our ranking file

a brother Buffalo to reign as
Water Buffalo of the Year.

The field has been
narrowed down to two members.

First, Brother Joe Rockhead!

[crowd cheering]

'And Brother Fred Flintstone!'

[crowd cheering]

Confidentially, Rockhead,
you don't stand a chance.

I counted all the votes.

It's a draw except for my
best pal, Barney Rubble.

And we know how he'll vote.
Ha, ha, ha.

There he is.

Hiya, Barney, old bosom pal,
buddy and chum.

Hiya, Freddie boy, old bosom
pal, old buddy and chum.

You see, Rockhead?
It's in the bag.

And now, here it is, men.

The winner is..

[drum roll]

Well, maybe
next year, Rockhead.

- The winner is Joe Rockhead.
- Don't take it so hard.

Ya-hoo! I won, I won!

R-R-Rockhead won?
I-I've been double crossed!

For Rockhead's
jolly good fellow

Which nobody can't deny &&

I-I-I just don't get it.

Gee, Fred, I thought you wanted
the best man to win.

Yeah, but that's when
I was the best man.

'I just don't
understand it, Barney.'

I counted all the votes.
If 36 guys voted for Rockhead

and 36 voted for me, that
left you to break the tie.

'And naturally,
you voted for me.'

Oh, I didn't vote for you, Fred,
I voted for Rockhead.

Oh, so that's what happened.
Thanks, Barn..

You voted for Rockhead?

I was gonna vote for you.
Heh, heh, heh.

But you said
may the best man win, so--

Out, out! Out!

You are no longer welcome
in this house.

This place is off limits.
Out, out!

Shee! You can please some of
the people some of the time

but you can't please
some of the people

half the time..
Uh, or something like that.

The nerve of that traitor!

Now, what Fred?

Wilma, you are never to speak
to those people next door again.

Oh Fred, Betty and Barney
are our friends.

They are the enemy!
The king has spoken!

All Rubbles are enemies,
and are not welcome.

And that goes
for you, too, Bambam.

[babbling]

Bam. Bam.
Bam, bam, bam.

Alright, alright,
you can stay.

Now, go play with Pebbles.

How do you like that?

And after I build
on his new room, too.

Now I'm not even
allowed to use it.

Uh, excuse me. I'm the city
building inspector.

Are you Mr. Flintstone?

No, he's next door,
I'm Mr. Rubble.

Oh, good!
Just sign here, please.

You see,
there's been a mistake.

The room Mr. Flintstone
added on extends halfway

cross your property.

No kidding.
What's this I'm signing?

Oh, this means you accept
half the building on your land.

This will be recorded
at City Hall.

Oh, boy,
I own half a room!

Here's your copy.
It's all legal now.

If you or Mr. Flintstone
have any questions

you can call the City Hall
of Records.

Good day, sir.

Yeah yeah, thanks.
Oh gee, this is great!

My half of Fred's room will
make a swell nursery for Bambam.

That picture has gotta go.

"It should read, "My pal,
Barney Traitor."

Eagh!

I never wanna see that
Benedict Arnold's face!

Or hear his voice
in this house again!

[Barney scatting]

Just what are you
doing in my house?

Correction, Fred.
Our house.

Here's the new deed.

It seems we built
half on my land.

This is the property line.

It won't work, Barney.

You got that phony deed
at the joke shop.

Well, just call the City Hall
of Records and see, Fred.

Okay, wise guy, I will.

I'll thank you to stay off
my property while doing so.

Heh, heh, heh.

Hello, record department?
This is Fred Flintstone.

Did you record a deed
for half a room

in the name of Barney Rubble?

Oh, boy, he's gonna raise the
roof when he hears the answer.

(Fred)
'Huh, you did?
Nice and legal?'

'Barney, you sneaky
double crosser!'

thud

Okay, Rubble, this means war!

Well, it looks like the boys
are at it again, Betty.

We better dig in. Looks like
a long tough battle this time.

If they weren't
such good friends

somebody might get hurt.

Ah-ha! Turn my back
for one minute, Wilma

and you're fraternizing
with the enemy.

Out, out, out!

Oh really, Fred?

We're up to nothing subversive.
We're just talking.

And I'm just leaving.
Bye, Wilma.

Fred Flintstone?

Sorry, Wilma, but this is war.

And in war, sometimes
innocent people get hurt.

bong

Your place has been declared
off limits, Betty.

But how
will we communicate?

We'll miss all the gossip.

We'll just have to use
our old plan, U-2-V-4, okay?

Of course! I forgot
about that one. Bye.

I hope I can remember
my Morse code.

[giggling]

My turn.

Attaboy, hit him again!

Boy, what a punch
that Sunny Listrone has!

'Wow, that was close!'

'Ooh, a beautiful right
to the head!'

Come on, get up.
You're not hurt.

That's it! Now, give him
a right and a left.

I'm gonna hit you
with a right and a left

if you don's shut off
that noisy TV!

This is my half of the room,
Fred, and I'll do what I want.

Especially if it bugs you.

Heh, heh, heh.

bang

There you are, Barney.
You always wanted to be on TV.

Ha, ha, ha.

And you're gonna get
a free ride into orbit

if you don't knock off
the noise!

You did it now, Fred.

You crossed over
my property line.

I'm gonna have to resort
to more drastic measures.

This sabertooth watchcat
will keep you in your place.

rrrr

'Nothing will happen as long as
you don't step over the line.'

If you think you can
frighten me with this cat..

snap

Don't worry, Fred.

The rope only reaches
till the property line.

Heh, heh, heh.

grrr

Save it, pal.

I've been growled at by experts,
starting with my wife.

Hah! So I'm not scared
of some old pussycat.

Where'd my paper go?

I wouldn't be surprised
if that sneaky Rubble stole it.

Go, growl yourself!

[giggling]

Boy, that cat really sinks
his sabreteeth into his work.

Hey, Fred,
what are you doing?

I'm walling up
my half of the room.

All except this small hole,
so I can keep my eye on you.

Now, let's see you bug me.
Ha, ha, ha.

Oh, I'll think
of something.

Heh, heh, heh.

Really, Fred,
don't you think

this silly fight
has gone far enough?

In the words of that
great patriot, John Gallstones

I have not yet begun
to give up the ship.

Oh, Fred!

Hey-hey, this war
is paying off.

At last, I can relax peaceful
and quiet in complete privacy.

[jazz music]

[people screaming]

What a racket!

What's Rubble up to now?
A party?

He never threw a party
without inviting me before.

Now, I'm really mad.

Alright, Rubble, knock off
the racket in there!

Excuse me, Fred,
this is a private party.

[scatting]

How would you like
a private lump on the head?

Well, he's asked for this.

I'm coming in after you, Rubble.
I know you're in there.

Ah-ha! Gotcha!

[man screaming]

I'm gonna tear
the joint apart!

thump

You're finally gonna
get yours. Come here!

Here comes that trip
into space I promised ya.

As we say in French,
arrivederci.

And as we say
in America, boing!

crash

Eh, sorry, officer,
but what brings you here?

This is my old pal,
Officer O'Brick..

I thought it'd be nice
to have him around

just in case any hoodlums
tried to crash the party.

[both laugh]

This is awful!

I haven't heard
from Wilma in hours.

I'm missing all the gossip.

And that venetian blind
Morse code bit gets old fast.

Hmph! War is heck.

Shh, Betty, it's me, Wilma.
I sneaked out.

Oh, thank heavens!

[giggles]

I thought you were
a man-eating edamopoulos plant.

- How goes the war, Wilma?
- Terrible, Betty.

Fred's bringing out
the heavy artillery.

His stereo outfit.

Oh, dear,
it's getting serious.

We better brace ourselves.
I feel a showdown is coming.

[snoring]

Boy, is he in for
a rude awakening!

Ha, ha, ha.

In cavaphonic sound, yet.

I hope this
is a jazz type racket.

Those waltz tunes
put me to sleep.

[continues snoring]

[jazz music blaring]

How do you like them woofers
and tweeters, Rubble?

Ha, ha, ha.

That did it, Flintstone!
You drove me too far.

I'm ready Barney boy.
Put up your dukes.

Oh dear, I think
they're gonna fight

and right in front
of the children!

- 'Oh, yeah?'
- 'Oh, yeah yeah!'

[babbling]

[babbling]

I oughta warn ya.
I'm pretty good with my fists.

Yeah, too bad
you can't fight though.

Oh, yeah?

[rumbling]

It's an earthquake!

It's Bambam!
Don't Bambam! Wait!

(Fred)
'Quick, Barney, grab the kids.
He's pulled the main beam.'

I'm right behind ya, Fred.

[rumbling]

Shee! We just made it.

Yeah, that's the end
of that room.

'Nothing left,
but a pile of rocks.'

I'm sorry.

Bambam doesn't know
his own strength sometimes.

Oh, well, it's not so bad.

At least you two won't have
anything to fight about now.

Hey, that's right Fred.

So we start out
being friends again?

Sure, Barn,
just like always.

Gee, I'm ashamed, Fred.
You really are the best man.

I should've
voted for you.

Ah, forget it!

I guess it took Bambam
to bring us to our senses.

[both laugh]

Hey, you don't suppose
Pebbles and Bambam

planned it this way,
do ya?

Oh, don't be
silly, Barney!

Why, they're just babies.

[both babbling]

[both chuckling]

[theme song]

Flintstones
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday maybe Fred
will win the fight

And that cat will stay out
for the night

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba dabba doo time

A dabba doo time

We'll have a gay old time

thud

thud

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!

bang bang bang