The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 3, Episode 8 - The Little Stranger - full transcript

- Ready, Arnold?
- Ready!

Ok, I'll pitch a few
easy ones at first.

Now, try
to hit the ball.

Oof!

Oh, excuse me,
mr. Flintstone.

I didn't mean
to hit it so hard.

Think nothing of it,
Arnold.

I, uh... just
wasn't ready.

Now, watch out
for this next one.

I'm gonna put
a little curve on it.

I'm ready,
mr. Flintstone.



I got to go now,
mr. Flintstone.

I'll be late
for school. Bye!

[Squawk]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're with
the flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time



And last night, I made Fred
a delicious souffle,

And still he complained.

It seems nothing
suits him anymore.

Look, Wilma, don't
tell me your troubles.

I'm married, too,
you know.

Betty: so what are you
going to let

Fred turn his nose up
at tonight?

Tonight, I thought I'd serve
pterodactyl eggs mornay

And maybe a nice,
crisp seaweed salad.

Well, there's something
wrong with Fred

If he doesn't like that.

Awk!

I don't like soapy water.

Wilma!

Hey, Wilma,
where are my golf clubs?

Where they always are,
Fred--In the closet.

No, they're not.
I looked.

Well, look again.
I'm sure they're there.

Fred:
she's sure they're there.

She's always
so sure of everything.

Well, I'm sure
they're not in the closet.

Hmph!

Watch. "I can't
find them, Wilma."

Fred: I can't
find them, Wilma.

[Giggles]

What did I tell you?

They're there, Fred.
Just look.

I'm looking!
I'm looking!

I tell you, my golf clubs
aren't in here.

I can find my bowling ball,
my fishing pole,

My tennis racket,
baseball glove, golf clubs,

Tuxedo, hatbox...

golf clubs?

That's right, Fred.
Golf clubs.

And whose
bright idea was it

To hide my clubs
in the closet?

Yours, dear.

Huh? Oh, yeah.

Fred,
what's wrong with you?

You've been acting
so grumpy lately.

Fred: ahh...

all you do is yell,
complain, criticize.

Why, it's been weeks
since you had

A good word for
anybody or anything.

Oh, yeah?
How about last night?

I had something good
to say about your mother.

My mother?

Yeah! I said it's a good thing
she lives 50 miles away.

[Snickering]

Fred flintstone,
I resent that.

Ahh...

there's something
wrong with you, Fred.

I want you to see
the doctor

This morning
and get a checkup.

I can't see the doctor
this morning.

I'm playing golf with
Barney in 10 minutes.

Oh, no, you're not!

You're going
to the doctor.

Maybe he'll give you
a nerve tonic or something.

And when you start acting
like a human being again,

Then you can get back
to your golf.

Ahh...

come on, Dino,
before he bites you.

Yipe!

Hey, how come we're
going to the doctor

Instead of
the golf course, Fred?

Are you sick?

Of course
I'm not sick.

I'm fit as a fiddle.

But Wilma says
I can't play golf

Till I start acting
like a human being.

Hee hee hee!

Oh, some wives really
set impossible tasks

For their husbands,
don't they?

Very funny.

Ooh, you're
a regular comedian.

Oh, sorry, Fred.

Uh-Oh!

Look who's there.

Who, Fred?

That smart-Alecky kid
Arnold

Who delivers
our newspapers.

So what?

So every time I see him,
we have a battle of wits.

Oh, I get it.
You're out of ammunition.

Hiya, mr. Flintstone.

I was just on my way
to your house.

You owe me for last week's
newspaper delivery.

Alright, alright.

You don't have
to bug me, Arnold.

Here's your money.

Thanks, mr. Flintstone.

As of now, I am canceling
my subscription.

Why?

Why? Because more and more
that paper of yours

Is failing
to fulfill its obligation

To the public, that's why.

I don't understand
what you mean.

I mean, your comics section
has shrunk to almost nothing.

Only 15 measly comic strips
in the whole thing.

You call that
a newspaper? Ha!

Gee, mr. Flintstone,

I'd sure hate to lose
you as a customer.

I'll tell you what.

I'll give you
a special rate.

A special rate?

Uh-Huh.
Now, let's see now.

You're paying 5 cents
a copy on weekdays

And 15 cents on sundays.

5 cents weekdays,

15 cents sundays,
that's right.

Well, I tell you
what I'm gonna do.

I'll charge you 6 cents
for the daily paper,

But only a dime on sundays.
What do you say?

Hmm. That sounds like
a fair enough deal.

Ok, Arnold,
under those conditions,

I'll stay your customer.

I thought you would,
mr. Flintstone.

Good-Bye, gentlemen!

So long, Arnold.
Ha ha ha ha!

I suppose you think

I took advantage
of the kid, Barney,

But I just did that
to teach him a lesson.

Oh, Fred, you're paying
46 cents a week now,

Instead of 45 cents.

Huh?
Why, that little--

He took advantage
of me!

Hey, Arnold,
come back here!

It's too late, Fred.
He's gone. And besides,

You got a doctor's
appointment, remember?

Good afternoon,
gentlemen.

Can I help you?

Yeah. I got an appointment
to see the doctor.

I'm Fred Flintstone.

Please be seated.

The doctor will see you
in a moment.

Fred: ok.
[Door opens]

Nurse, can you come
in here for a minute?

Certainly, doctor.

Don't look
so worried, Fred.

You're only having
an examination.

Wh-Who's worried?
I'm not worried.

I just don't like
waiting.

Doctor: what do
you think, nurse?

It's got to come out.
What's the trouble?

Well, it seems to be
caught on something.

I just can't
budge it.

Nurse:
did you try a crowbar?

Hmm.
That might work,

Only I haven't
got one.

Well, hit it a couple of
times with this hammer.

A hammer?

[Banging]

There. Mm-Hmm.

That seems to have
loosened it a bit.

Maybe if we both pulled on it
together, it'll come out.

Good idea.
Ready? Pull!

[Loud cracking]
here it comes!

Come on, Barney,
let's come back sometime

When the doctor
ain't so busy.

Hey, Fred, wait!
You can't leave now.

You got
an appointment.

Honest, Barney,

There ain't nothing
wrong with me.

But it ain't official until
a doctor tells you, Fred.

Oh, there you are,
mr. Flintstone.

The doctor is
waiting for you now.

Don't leave me, Barney.
I may need you as a witness.

Ok, mr. Flintstone,
say "ahh," please.

Ahh, please.

Say "ahh" again,
please.

Ahh again, please.

My, my, you may not be
the healthiest patient

I've ever had, but you are
certainly the politest.

Oh, come on, doc.
Will you hurry it up?

Ah-Ah. Patients
should have patience.

I lose my patience with
patients without patience.

Hmm. That's not bad.

Yes, now, let's take
a look inside of you

And see
what makes you tick.

What kind of contraption
is this, doc?

This? Oh,
it's a new invention.

They call it
an x-Ray machine.

Oh, my! No wonder you've
been feeling so grouchy.

You've got butterflies
in your stomach.

Oops! Oh, sorry. Ha ha!

Just a couple of moths
on the machine.

You know something?

You're the first
patient I ever had

Who looks better
in an x-Ray.

Very funny. Very funny.

Can I get out of here now?

Oh, not so fast,
mr. Flintstone.

We've just started.

Alright.
Take a deep breath.

Now exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

How am I doing, doc?

Fine. You'll have this place
aired out in no time.

Now once more,
big inhale.

[Crash]

That does it!
Let's get out of here

Before this doctor
really needs a doctor.

How about that?

Wasted a whole morning
with that nutty doctor

When I could have
been playing golf.

Boy, am I going to
tell Wilma off.

Well, don't tell her
too much,

Or she might never
let you play golf again.

Hey! There's Arnold.

I got a score
to settle with him.

Hold it,
you little pirate!

Thought you
could fool me, eh?

I beg your pardon.

You and your special rates!

I'm paying 46 cents a week
now instead of 45 cents!

You are?

Oh, mr. Flintstone,
I apologize.

You have
a legitimate complaint.

Thought you could pull
a fast one on me, eh?

Well, let's see now,

6 times 6 for
the daily paper is 36, right?

Yeah, and 10 cents
for the sunday paper

Makes it a total
of 46 cents.

When you were paying 15 cents
for the sunday paper,

Your bill was only
45 cents, right?

Right.

I'll tell you what
I'll do, mr. Flintstone.

I'll let you go back
to paying me 15 cents

For the sunday paper.
How about it?

Ok, it's a deal.

I'm only being tough for
your own good, Arnold.

I hope you'll profit
from it.

I certainly hope to,
mr. Flintstone.

Good day,
and thank you.

- Um, Fred?
- Yeah?

I hate to say this,
but Arnold did it again.

Fred: come back here,
you baby bandit!

Come back here!

Ooh, if I ever get
my hands on you,

I'll pulverize you!

Let me at him, Barney,
let me at him!

Hee hee hee!

Yoo-Hoo, Wilma!

Hi, Betty.
Come on in.

Did Arnold's mother
call you yet?

Arnold's mother?
Why, no.

Well, she will.

She and her husband will be
out of town for a few days

And she's looking for someone
to take care of Arnold.

Oh? When will
they leave?

In about a week.
She asked me,

But I haven't got
a spare room.

[Ringing]

That's probably
her now.

Hello?

Oh, hi, doris.

Yes, Betty just told me,

And I'd be happy to have
Arnold stay with us.

We have plenty of room.

Fred: oh, boy,
what a morning.

First that
kooky doctor,

Then that junior
con man Arnold.

It's all Wilma's fault.

Of course.
I love children.

But I'm not sure how
Fred will feel about it.

He might not like
the patter

Of little feet
around the house.

It's been just
us two for so long,

Fred might not welcome
a little stranger.

Hey, what
little stranger, Fred?

Don't you get it,
Barney?

My Wilma's going to
have a baby!

Oh, boy, Fred,
I couldn't be happier

If it was
happening to me.

Congratulations.

Thanks, Barney,
old friend.

Well, he can't arrive
too soon for me,

But knowing Fred,
I think I'll keep it

A secret from him until
the very last minute.

Isn't that sweet?

She wants to keep it
a secret from me.

Listen, Barney, let's not
even let on that we know.

Don't tell Betty!
Nobody!

Let Wilma enjoy
her little secret.

Ok, daddy.

Daddy.

Yabba-Dabba--

Quiet, Fred.
Wilma will hear you.

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's right.

I don't want to spoil
her little surprise.

Well, it's all settled.

Arnold will stay with us
while his parents are gone.

Oh, good.
You'll enjoy Arnold.

He's such
a bright little boy.

Now, remember,
Barney,

Act like you don't
know nothing.

You can
trust me, Fred.

- Be real casual.
- Right.

Ok, let's go in.

Wilma, sweetheart!

How do you feel, baby?

What are you doing
on your feet?

Standing.
What else?

Standing?
Do you suppose that's wise?

Suppose you fall or trip
or get a charley horse.

Oh, come on, honey.
You better sit down.

Let's not take any chances.

Fred, what is this,
a gag?

A gag? Of course not.
Can't a man show his wife

A little appreciation
for all she's done for him?

And what she's going
to do for him?

Hee hee hee!

Ixnay, Barney, ixnay.

Well, all this attention
is very nice,

But I've got
to fix lunch.

Tut tut!

You've done enough
work today, wifey dear.

I will get the lunch.

But--But--But--

No buts, honey.

Barney, want to give me
a hand in the kitchen?

Oh. Oh, sure, Fred.

Relax, Wilma.

I will take care of
everything from now on.

I don't get it.

Do you suppose
he's sick?

I don't know,
but whatever he's got,

I just wish
Barney'd catch it.

Fred:
good morning, dear.

One breakfast coming up!
Dodo egg benedict,

Cactus toast, jelly,
and hot chocolate

All prepared
with loving hands.

Oh, Fred,
you're spoiling me.

This is the fourth day
I've had breakfast in bed.

Well, hubby is just trying
to make life a little easier

For his buttercup.

If you want anything,
I'll be in the kitchen, baby.

I've just time to scrub
the floor before I go to work.

Oh, he's such a dear.

Ugh!
If he could only cook.

I hope you don't mind

Walking to work
these mornings, Barney.

I'm leaving the car home
in case Wilma needs it.

I can't get over the way
you've changed, Fred.

It's like dr. Jekyll
and mr. Hyde,

Only you're all
Jekyll and Jekyll.

Hee hee!

Well, I guess all
papas-To-Be are this way.

You get a feeling of
contentment, you know?

You get to
love everybody.

Come on, hector.

Man: yes, dear.

Keep up
with the rest of us.

Yes, dear.

Look, Barney,
isn't this touching?

You must be a very proud
and happy man, sir.

Well, it's either this
or the army.

Hey, Arnold,
wait a minute.

- Uh-Oh!
- Don't worry, Arnold.

I'm not sore
because you fast-Talked me

Into paying more
for my papers.

- You're not?
- No.

You were just being
a smart businessman.

I like that.

I always felt that
success in business

Means giving the customer
what he deserves.

Yeah. Ha ha ha!

You going to play a little
baseball after school?

Yes, sir.

How about letting me give you
a few pointers, Arnold?

I was known
as dizzy flintstone

When I used to pitch
for the high-School team.

Gosh, mr. Flintstone,
would you?

Sure. Give me
the ball and glove.

Here you are, sir.

I'll go across the street
and try to hit a few.

What's the idea, Fred?
We got to get to work.

Ah, this'll only
take a minute, Barney.

After all, I'll soon be
playing ball with my son.

I want to get in practice.
Ready, Arnold?

- Ready!
- OK!

I'll pitch a few
easy ones at first.

Now, try to hit the ball.

Nice one, Arnold!

Oof!

Oh, excuse me,
mr. Flintstone.

I didn't mean
to hit it so hard.

Think nothing of it,
Arnold.

I, uh...just wasn't ready.

Now, watch out for
this next one.

I'm gonna put
a little curve on it.

I'm ready,
mr. Flintstone.

I got it!
I got it!

Hee hee hee!

I think we better
change pitchers, Fred.

We're losing
the old ball game.

Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm just warming up.

Watch this.

I got to go now,
mr. Flintstone.

I'll be late
for school. Bye!

Hey, fatso.
You with the baseball glove.

That'll cost you
5 bucks.

Ooh, that Arnold.

I tried to like him,
I tried be nice to him,

But I can't stand him!

Ooh, my head!

And Fred is still cooking
dinner every night?

Mm-Hmm. He won't let me lift
a finger around the house.

Last night,
I tried to wash the dishes,

And he actually got mad.

So what? Which
would you rather have--

A guilty conscience
or dishpan hands?

[Giggling]

Does Fred know about Arnold
coming to stay with you?

No. But I'll have
to tell him soon.

Arnold's coming over
saturday.

Hmm.

Now, where did
we leave the car?

We parked
on the corner.

What's the matter
with him?

Giddy-Up, you!

Read the sign, lady.

"Don't take carts
from parking area."

Oh, I'm sorry.

S'alright.

[Inhaling]

Hey, Fred! Fred!

Oh! Oh, hi, Barney.

Hold it a minute,
becky.

How's big daddy today?

Oh, alright,
I guess.

What's the matter, pal?
Something wrong?

Yeah. I was talking
to my boss this morning.

His wife's had
four kids, you know.

He told me that
every time she has a baby,

He has to get
a nurse for her.

Oh, and
they're expensive.

Those nurses
get 8 bucks a day.

8 bucks a day?

I ain't got that kind of money.
What am I gonna do?

Take it easy, Fred.
After all,

For every solution,
there's a problem.

You mean, for every problem,
there's a solution.

Is that so?

Then I hope you find
a solution to this one.

Oh, for the love of--

Say, when Betty's sister
had her baby,

Where did she
get a nurse?

Come to think of it,
she didn't have a nurse.

Her mother
took care of her.

Huh? Yeah! That's it.

I'll get Wilma's mother
to look after her.

It won't cost a cent.
I'll call her right away.

Oh, but, Fred,

You don't get along
with your mother-In-Law.

Barney, right now,

My personal feelings
don't count.

I am doing this
for Wilma and our son.

And to save money.
Hee hee hee!

[Ringing]

Coming! Coming!

Hello?

Hi, mom. This is
son-In-Law Fred.

Fred? Don't tell me
Wilma has finally

Come to her senses
and is leaving you?

Oh, boy.

Say, mom, we haven't
seen you for a long time.

Why don't you
come visit us?

Stay as long as you like.
About 2 or 3 months maybe.

Alright, Fred.
Who was it?

Some long-Lost uncle?

What are you
talking about?

You can't fool me,
Fred flintstone.

Somebody left me
some money.

Oh, mother,
is that nice?

Can't I invite you to spend
a little time with us

Without you
suspecting something?

You'll come over?
Swell. Bye, mom.

Hey, she's coming, huh?

Yep. She'll be here
friday...

on the 5:15 broom.

Honestly, mother,

He's been an angel
all week.

Asking you to stay
with us was his idea.

Don't you think
that was sweet?

Ha!

Sometimes I look at him
and feel like saying,

"And now will the real
Fred flintstone

Please stand up?"

I still think that husband
of yours is up to something.

Oh, mother,
you're so suspicious.

Maybe, but don't forget,

A leopard can't
change his spots.

Mother,
Fred is not a leopard.

Well...
a baboon can't, either.

Here you are, girls,

A nice refreshing glass
of seaweed juice.

Hmm. We ought to make him
taste it first.

Oh, mother!
Thank you, Fred.

That's awfully
considerate of you.

Think nothing of it,
my dear.

And now,
if you'll excuse me,

I'll take mother's bag
up to her room.

Thanks, dear.

Come on, hugo.

[Humming]

See what I mean, mother?
I can't believe it.

I don't believe it.

Mother, will you
please stop?

Alright, alright.

I think I'll go to
my room now and rest.

[Humming rock-A-Bye, baby]

Huh? Who you
looking for, Wilma?

You expecting somebody?

Yes, I am.
Uh, Fred, dear,

I've been keeping
a secret from you.

Really?

Mm-Hmm. I should have
told you sooner, but--

Ha ha ha!

But you didn't know
how I'd take it, right?

Right.

You see, we are going to
have a little visitor.

Ha ha ha!
Wilma, honey,

I got to confess.
I knew it all along.

- You did?
- Uh, huh.

I was outside the window

When you were on the phone
talking about it.

Oh, Fred!

You knew all this time
and you're not mad?

Mad? I'm tickled pink!
Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Ooh! I feel
so relieved, Fred.

Of course,
if you don't want him,

I'll send him back.

Well, of course
I want--

What? S-Send him back?

Ha ha ha!
That's a good one, Wilma.

When do you expect
this little stranger, dear?

Any minute now.

Any minute?

Well, quick!
Do something!

I know!
I'll boil some water.

I'll get your slippers.
No, I'll get Barney--

No, no, the doctor.
I'll call the doctor.

Fred! For heaven's sakes,
have you gone crazy?

Just keep calm, honey.
I'll take care of everything.

I've been rehearsing
for this minute.

Doctor? Fred flintstone.
G-Get over here quick!

Keep cool, honey.
Be brave like me.

Oh, what's taking
that doc so long?

I better call again.

For goodness sakes,
what's going on in here?

I'm trying
to get some rest.

[Knocking on door]

Who's that?

That must be the little
visitor we're expecting.

Let him in, Fred.

What?

I said our little
visitor has arrived.

Let him in.

Boy! I know medical science
is doing wonders,

But this is ridiculous.

[Door opens]

Arnold: hello,
mr. Flintstone.

Arnold! Go on home!
This is no place

For children
at a time like this!

Fred,
what are you saying?

Arnold
is our little visitor.

Arnold? Ar-Ar-Ar-Ar-

Arnold is our--Our
little v-V-Visitor?

Yes, sirree.
And I'm staying 2 weeks.

And I'm staying
for 6 months.

[Babbling]

Pardon me. Does somebody
need a doctor here?

Yeah. That 200 pounds
of blubber on the floor.

Ha ha ha!

[Blblblb]

Ha ha ha!

[Blblblb]

Flintstones,
meet the flintstones

They're
the modern stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred
will win the fight

Then that cat will
stay out for the night

When you're
with the flintstones

Have
a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!