The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 3, Episode 7 - The Buffalo Convention - full transcript

Unable to get the perfect gift for Wilma's birthday, Fred gives her a "doozy dodo bird" who talks, that she accepts reluctantly. At the same evening, Fred and Barney attend the Water Buffalo meeting where they announce a major convention in Frantic City. Aware most of their wives will not let them go there, the Grand Poobah will send a fake doctor to give them a case of "dipsy-doodlitis" to excuse them from their home. However, all goes well, but the dodo bird overhears and repeats what the false doctor said. Fred and Barney must get ride of the bird before it snitches to Betty and Wilma...

Come on, doozy,
get your cracker.

Start the car,

Out of that car.
Out! Out!

Hey, don't be rough
with him, Fred.

Now, get in that cave.

Ok, Barney,
let's go!

[Car leaves]




meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy

Of Fred's two feet

When you're with
the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

[Bird chirping]

[Whistle blowing]

Hey! Mailman!

[Arr arr arr
arr arr arr]

For Mrs. Flintstone, Dino.

[Arr arr arr
arr arr arr]

Wilma, here's Dino
with a letter.

just a bill.

That's all
we seem to get.

[Sighs] thank you, Dino.

You can stop
with the tail now.


We sure get the wettest
mail in town, Betty.

Ha ha ha!

Who's it from?

Oh, it's a birthday card
from mamma.

She never forgets.

Aw. Will Fred remember
what day this is, Wilma?

Fred never forgets
my birthday.

Isn't that nice?

You see, my birthday
falls on the same day

As the big annual
lodge meeting.

Oh, yeah--The big
secret meeting

Of the loyal order
of water buffalos.

That's it--

When the mystic imperial
pooh bah visits bedrock.

So Fred doesn't dare
forget my birthday.

Or else he might
have trouble

Getting to the meeting,
huh, Wilma?

Right, Betty.
Nothing but trouble.

Oh. Wilma, look.
The vacuum cleaner.

Oh, no! It's going
to sneeze!


Uh-Oh. It'll be
close, Wilma.


Oh, dear!
Too late, Wilma.


When the fallout stops,
I'll have to clean

The whole house again.

for the help, Betty.

Now I can get
this cake baked

Before Fred gets home.

What do you think he'll
give you, Wilma, huh?

Just one minute, Betty.

"Add one egg."
O.K. One egg coming up.


There. O.K., Betty.

Have you any idea what
your present will be, Wilma?

No, but i told Fred

I don't want anything
like last year--

He gave me a bowling ball
carrying case.

What could you do
with that?

Let Fred use it.
What else?

What a present.

So I told Fred,
"some wives have everything.

"They're hard to buy for.

But I'm a cinch.
I have nothing."

What did Fred say?

He said he'd
really shop around

And get me
something different.

Hmm. Anything
would be different

From a bowling ball

Well, whatever it is,
I'll like it,

Just so long as it's not
from that sporting goods store.

They sure have nice sporting
goods here, Barney.

Hey, let's go, Fred.

I'm tired
of window shopping.

Barney, I can't go home

Without a present
for Wilma's birthday.

If I do, she won't let me
go to the lodge meeting.

Ok. Let's pick out
something here.

Uh, boxing gloves,

12-Pebble shotgun,
set of matched golf clubs,

Sport fishing

No, no, no.

They're all swell gifts,

But I wanted to get her
something different this year.

Jewelry would be
different, Fred.


Any husband who can't think
of a present for his wife

Always falls back
on jewelry.

Because husbands
have no imagination,

Wives get jewelry
all the time.

Yeah, that's right,

Yeah, but the wives

Are pretty good
sports about it.

I never heard one

About getting jewelry.

Well, jewelry is out.
I only got five bucks.

Man: psst. Hey, bud.

Come here.

Uh, you

Yeah, you. I got
something to show you.

Uh, uh, wh-Wh-Wh-What do
you want to show me?

It's in the bag.

in the bag?

Take a gander.

The only one
of its kind.

Hey, Fred,
what is it?

Just a dodo bird.

Not just a dodo.
He's a doozy dodo.

Ha ha ha!

A doozy dodo?

Yeah. Doozy dodos
can talk.

Don't let him
kid you, Fred.

Dodo birds
can't talk.

Yeah, yeah.
Dodos can't talk.

This one can,

And he's yours
for five bucks.

Hey, Barney,
that's it!

Wilma's present.

Oh, you gotta be
kidding, Fred.

No, no.
This is perfect.

It's just the unique gift
I've been looking for.

Why, there isn't
a wife in town

With a talking dodo bird.

Well, that's
for sure, Fred.

If he can talk,

You sold yourself
a bird, mister.

O.K., Doozy.
Say, "Fred and Barney."

Awk, Fred
and Barney. Awk.

You hear that, Barney?
He knows us already.

Uh, yeah. He's pretty
smart for a dodo bird.

I'll take him,

I'll take him,

Boy, wait till Wilma
sees doozy.

She'll love it.

He's sure a nice present,
Fred, uh...I guess.

He sure is.

I'm glad we stopped and
had him gift-Wrapped.

Just think, a real
talking dodo.

Oh, Wilma will be mad
about him.

[Tires screech]

That sounds like
Fred's car now.

It is Fred's car.

I'll go out
the back way.

No. Stay
right here, Betty.

You're gonna see
my birthday present.

Oh, I'd love to,

Happy birthday,

Oh, Fred,
you shouldn't have.

I got the same feeling.
He shouldn't have.

I hear something

I just can't guess
what it could be.

I'll lay a million
to one on that.

What's Wilma's
present, Barney?


You're kidding.

Honest. Cross my heart.
It's a doozy.

A doozy dodo?

Opening the package

Is almost as much fun
as seeing the present.

More fun in this case,
I venture to say.

Barney, shh.

Well, here goes.


Happy birthday!


You don't like it?

What's to like about a
dusty old dodo bird?

But, Wilma, that's
a genuine doozy dodo.

Who needs it?

A doozy dodo
is a dodo that talks.

There's no such thing
as a talking dodo bird.

Honest there is.

He says my name and everything.

Ohh! [Cries]

Really, Wilma.
It is a talking dodo.

Fred figured it would be company
for you around the house.

Yeah, yeah.
That's right, honey.

Well, I still
don't believe it.

Let me hear him

O.K. Where
did he get to?

Here, doozy.
Here, doozy.

Barney: there he is,
Fred. On the table.

Oh, yeah. Now, listen
to this, Wilma.

Hiya, doozy-Boy.

Tell him who I am,

Ah, he's
thinking it over.

You see, he
only met me once.

You know?
Here it comes.

He's opening his mouth.


Betty and Wilma:
ha ha ha!

He said it so plain.

Oh, yeah.
Fred Flintstone.

He's a doozy

Ha ha ha!

Alright, alright.
Laugh if you want to,

But this bird talks.


Wilma: ha ha!
He bites, too.

Ha ha ha!
Oh, dear.

I never had so much fun out
of a present before.

Fred: this bird
has got to go.

Oh, no, he doesn't,
Fred Flintstone.

He stays.

I want everyone who
comes into this house

To see the kind
of birthday present

My husband gave me.

B-B-But, Wilma--

And he'll
remind you, Fred,

Not to buy me any
more nutty presents.

Uhh. I wonder how
you'd taste barbecued.

Fred, leave
my bird alone.

O.K. O.K.

You better start
yakking it up

Or I'm in big trouble.

Are my horns
on straight, Betty?

Oh, they're fine.

Barney, I hope
you come home

Right after the lodge
meeting tonight.

Well, it's our most
important meeting.

The grand pooh bah
will be there

To give us
the exalted word.

Our leader
will draw back the veil

To reveal
the ancient mysteries

Of water buffaloery,

And then we retire
to contemplate.

Contemplate what?

Contemplate a table
full of pizza pies

And brontosaurus

Ha ha ha!

Big deal.

Go on.
Fred must be waiting.

And have fun.

Ha ha ha!

Hiya, Wilma. My brother
water buffalo ready yet?

Almost, Barney.

I'll tell him
you're here.

Oh, don't bother, Wilma.

I'll summon Fred with the water
buffalo cry of distress.




Dino, stop that!

Bad Dino!

Bad Dino!

on Barney's hat.

Bad Dino.

I'm sorry, Barney,

But Dino thinks
these lodge hats

are some kind of
strange animal.

Say, what's
all the racket?

What's going on
out there?

Oh, no!

No, Dino!
It's me--Fred!

Dino, no! Stop that!

Down, Dino! Down!

Heel, boy! Heel!

Dino, let go
of Fred's hat!

Now, get back
to your corner, Dino.

Bad, Dino.
Bad, bad, Dino.

[Grrr grrr]

Getting past Dino
with these hats

Is like being initiated into the
water buffalos all over again.

But it's worth it, Fred.
They're a great bunch.

Uh, watch it.
The light's turning.

I see it.

Hey, these traffic lights

Have only one flaw, Fred.

What's that?

Whenever a monkey
burns his finger,

He quits the job.


Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Well, that's another
traffic light out of order.

Boy, looks like all
the water buffalos

Showed up tonight, Fred.

Yeah. Heh heh.
They want to hear

the grand pooh bah

Has to say.

Hey, look, Fred.
The curtain's going up.

brother buffalos.

As you know, every year
we are honored by a visit

From our exalted leader.


O.K. O.K.
And here he is...

[blowing horns]

The grand pooh bah!

There he is, Barney.

Yeah, our leader.

brother water buffalos.

I, the exalted
grand pooh bah,

that all water buffalos

Shall gather for a three-Day
convention next weekend

At Frantic city!


On the boardwalk
at Frantic city!


Barney, the girls
won't let us go away

for three days.

Oh, gee.
You're right, Fred,

Especially to Frantic city.

Now, some of your wives
might not cooperate

By letting you go
for three days.

- You ain't kidding!
- That's right!

But everyone is going.

Good old doc will
call on each and every member,

And he will prescribe
a, uh, three-Day rest

Away from home.

Both: yabba-Dabba-Doo!

To the convention
we will go!

Go, go, go!

old banana snoot,

This weekend, we'll be
taking off for Frantic city.

You said it, Fred.

the boardwalk,

Tickling people
with our buzz canes.

Ha ha! Yeah.
Now, don't forget.

Doc will be at my place
tomorrow night at 7:00.

So he can send us
away for our health.

Our health. Ha ha!

That's a laugh!

Ha ha! Nobody gets
healthy at a convention.

Ha ha ha!

The boys must have had a
good meeting last night.

Yeah. They came home
laughing and giggling.

When I asked Fred
what happened,

He said
it was a lodge secret.

Hmph. How silly.

Say, Wilma,
that dodo is sort of cute.

In an off-Beat kind
of way.

Ha ha. Has he said
anything yet?

No. Imagine Fred thinking
a dodo could talk.

See you later, doozy.

I feel guilty about being over
here again, this evening, Wilma,

But Barney insisted.

Fred kept wondering when
Barney was coming over.

It looks like those two
are up to something.

It sure does.

It's almost time for doc
to arrive, Barney.

Is he a real doctor,

No. Doc's a nickname.
He's really a plumber.

I hear he's been
doing a good job

Springing the boys
for the convention

At Frantic city.

Awk! Convention.


Barney, that bird
just talked.

that's good, Fred.

It's bad.
He said convention.

Yeah. That's a pretty big
word for a bird, Fred.

Oh, you numbskull.

If he says that word in front
of the girls, we're ruined.

Maybe--Maybe you're
mistaken, Fred.

Oh, boy, I hope so.

Awk! Doc is
a plumber. Awk!

Frantic city. Awk!

Barney, we got to lose
this bird somewhere.

We haven't time.

The doc should
be here any minute.

We're sunk.

No, Fred.
I got an idea.

We'll feed doozy
some dry salt crackers.


Did you ever try to talk

While eating
dry salt crackers, Fred?

Hey, yeah.

Hey, doozy
want a cracker?


Doozy want
a cracker.

Doozy want
a cracker.


He loves them,

Hey, doozy want
a cracker?


Hey, works
real good, Fred.

Great, great.
Keep feeding him.

The doc will be here
any second.

[Doorbell rings]

Dr. Ben casement?

Yeah, from the water
buffalo lodge's health plan.

I'm here to give, uh, Fred
his free medical checkup.

Free checkup? Well,
the price is right.

Be my guest, doctor.

Oh, Fred.

The doctor from
the lodge is here.

O.K., Wilma.
Hey, come on, Barney.

Leave the whole box
with doozy.

O.K., Fred.



I'm glad dr. Casement

Is giving Barney
a checkup, too, Wilma.

Fred's been needing
one for a long time.

Oh, here comes
the doctor now.

How do they
check out, doctor?

Well, I'm afraid
they, uh, both have it.


Have what,

A bad case
of, uh, dippy-Doodlitis.



You must have heard
dippy-Doodle will get you

If you don't watch out.

It sounds familiar.

Is it catching?

It ain't dangerous

If patients get
a three-Day rest

Away from home...
by themselves.

They, uh, must have caught it
at the lodge meeting.

All the water buffalos
have it.

Goodnight, ladies.

my foot.

It's got
to be a gag.

Fred and Barney:
ohh! Ohh...

look, Wilma.

I see them.

Does it hurt much,

Only when
we breathe.

We...we have
to get away...

for three days.

Doctor's orders.

Yeah, we know.

Doc casement
gave us the bad news.

Ohh. Struck down
in our prime.

We'll give it a good fight,


What do you suppose
it's all about, Wilma?

I don't know, but let's
go along with it.

Something will
give them away.

It always does.

Ha ha ha!

Smooth, huh, Barney?

Yep. They don't
suspect a thing.

Awk! Frantic city.
Frantic city.


Hey, doozy ate up all
the crackers, Fred.

Well, get some more
and get the car started.

We got to ditch
this gabby bird.

This ought to be
far enough, Fred.

We've gone
100 miles.

O.K., Barney.
Stop the car.

Come on, doozy.
Get your cracker.

Start the car, Barney.

Out of that car.
Out! Out!

Hey, don't be rough
with him, Fred.

Now, get in that cave.

O.K., Barney.
Let's go.

[Car leaving]


I couldn't get a word
out of Fred

About where
they went last night.

Mmm. And when
i asked Barney,

He just groaned
and went to bed.

They're almost
ready to leave,

And we still don't know
what the deal is.

hey, girls.

We're ready to go.

Good-Bye, Fred.

Get a good rest.




good-Bye, girls,
and don't worry.

We'll pull through.

Wilma, we must
be out of our minds

To let them go
gallivanting for three days.

It's my fault, Betty.

I thought something would
turn up to expose their scheme.

Wilma, look.


It's doozy!
He's exhausted.


He must have been
walking all night.

I'll take him in

And give him
some food and water.

There. How do you
feel now, doozy?

Awk! Awk!
Frantic city. Awk!

he talked!

Yes, he really
is a talking dodo!

And did you hear
what he said?

It sounded like
"Frantic city."

He must have
heard it somewhere.

Well, let's find out
what else he's heard.

Come on, doozy.
Say something.

Awk! Awk! Frantic city.

We know that one.
Let's have another.

Doctor is a plumber.

Doctor is a plumber.

Convention. Convention.
Frantic city. Awk!

Frantic city.
Frantic city.


Three days. Awk!

So that's it, Betty--

A three-Day convention
at Frantic city.

Yeah, and without us,

Hello. Mrs. Stonewall?

Did your husband leave this
morning for three days?

Bad case
of dippy-Doodlitis, eh?

Well, mrs. Stonewall,
I have news for you.

Frantic city, huh?

Well, I'll get in touch
with the other wives,

And when we all get
to Frantic city,

It'll be
a lot more frantic.

Here comes the bus,

It didn't take the wives
long to get organized.

Awk! Organized.

All aboard
for Frantic city!

Frantic city,
here we come.

Awk! Frantic city.
Frantic city. Awk!

Well, here we are,

On the boardwalk
at Frantic city.

By the shores
of the blue frantic.

Both: ha ha ha!

Great convention town,
this one.

Right, Fred.

We'd better get over
to the convention hall

And get a good seat.

We don't want to miss
that opening ceremony.

What's that, Fred?

there's this big cake,

And out of it come
all the bathing beauties

From the beauty pageant,

All waving
their...national flags.

Well, uh,
let's go, Fred.

I love to see
flags waving.

Ha ha ha!

Sorry. This is
the rear entrance

To the water buffalo
convention hall.

No ladies allowed.

We heard some ladies
were allowed.

Oh. Well, they're just
the bathing beauties

For the big cake.
Ha ha ha!

They don't count.

their little hearts.

they count with us.


Those beauties
got out of the cake

Sooner than they expected.

They had
lots of help.

Ha ha ha!

Welcome to Frantic city,
brother buffalos.

We will open the convention
with our traditional ceremony--

the convention cake!


Yip, yip, yip,

Boy, have we got
good seats, Barney.

Yes, sir.
The very first row.

And I know you're
not as interested

In the frosting

As you are in the filling.

Ha ha ha!

We need two
brother buffalos

To lift the top
layer off the cake.

How about you two?

That's us, Barn.

Oh, boy. We get to see

The bathing
beauties close up.

O.K., Bathing beauties.

Come out, come out,
wherever you are

Dippy-Doodlitis, eh?

Hi, Betty.
Oh, boy.

Come on, Barney,
under the boardwalk.

Hey, good idea,

Under the boardwalk.

I wonder
where they went.


Awk! Under the boardwalk.
Under the boardwalk.

Hey, that sounds like
doozy snitching on us.

He's more like a stool
pigeon than a dodo.

Head for the water,


Now where are they?

I don't know, Wilma.
I lost sight of them, too.

Awk! Head for
the water, Barney.

Awk! Head
for the water.

Thanks again, doozy.

Do you see them,

No, I don't.

Just their hats

on the water.

They're both good
underwater swimmers,

But they have
to come up sometime.

And we'll be right
here waiting for them.

How long can we stay
underwater, Fred?

I don't know,

But if we're smart,

We'll set a new
world's record.

Doozy: awk! Set
a new world's record.

Awk! Frantic city.

Awk! Convention.

Awk! Yabba-Dabba-Doo!


meet the Flintstones

...they're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred

Will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're
with the Flintstones

You'll have
a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have
a gay old time