The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 3, Episode 5 - The Twitch - full transcript
To help for Wilma's charity show, Fred must find an attraction. He visits a friend who is a star agent. However the choice is very poor and Fred must act quick to get a top billing name. He lies to Wilma when he tells he has hired rocker "Rock Roll" to the show. But to redeem himself, he and Barney go meet the rocker at his suite and he accepts. But some bad luck about "pickled dodo eggs" might occur and Fred must think of a plan "B" if the rocker becomes mute...
[playing rock music]
Come on, fellas!
Get with it!
That's right, Mr. Rubble!
Hey, you ought to try this
twitching, Fred. It's fun.
Join in, Mr. Flintstone.
Well, it's a little tricky,
But... Uh, I'll try.
You sure you made two million
bucks doing this?
I swear on my gold record I did.
Boy, this sure beats
hauling rocks.
[squawk]
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
from the town of bedrock
they're a page
right out of history
Let's ride with the family
down the street
through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet
When you're with
the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo
time
a dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
Let's face it, Betty.
As chairman of our ladies auxiliary
entertainment committee,
I'm a flop.
Oh, gee, Wilma,
You've only got a week
to get an act...
for our big charity
benefit show.
And I don't know
where to start.
Hmm. How about
a mind-reading act?
No. The ladies do that
at home all the time.
[tires squeal]
Oh, there's Fred.
What does he say?
We haven't discussed it.
He's been working so hard lately,
All I hear
is three things--
"What a day," "I'm beat," and
"What's for dinner?"
[door opens]
Oh, boy. What a day.
I am beat.
Wilma, what's for dinner?
I'm starving.
No! No, Dino!
Down, boy! Down!
Heel!
Heel, boy! Down, Dino!
What's for dinner?
How would
a trained seal be?
Wilma, I've told you
a hundred times--
no new recipes.
It's not for you, Fred.
It's for the ladies auxiliary.
Well, they can get
their own dinner.
Did you ever see
such a grouch, Betty?
I will if I don't get
Barney's dinner on the table.
Bye, folks.
Wilma: Bye.
Fine thing.
A man comes home from work,
and what does he want?
His paper, his pipe,
his slippers, and dinner.
And what does he get?
Wisecracks.
Like, "a trained seal"--
for dinner, yet.
For me, it's decisions,
decisions, decisions
All day long,
but Wilma can't decide
whether to feed me
or the ladies auxiliary.
Now, I like that.
you do, huh?
Well, while you're
liking things,
how come you don't like me
as much as Dino does?
I do like you
as much as Dino, Fred,
but I'm all in a dither because
I can't find an act...
for our charity show.
Oh, is that all?
Fred, it's a big problem.
So get a big star
who will draw a big crowd.
For 35 little dollars?
When's a potato peeler
get a coffee break around here?
Wilma, money is no problem
when you think big.
Since when?
Since I happen to have
a big friend...
who's a big agent
for big stars.
Fred, I don't think
you'll get a star for $35.
Then stop thinking, Wilma.
I will handle it.
Gee, Fred, nobody can hire
a star for no money.
Barney, Sam Stone and me
were buddies...
way before he became
a big agent.
I won't need money
with good old Sam.
So I promised
the wife a star for peanuts,
Sammy, old pal.
Well, for peanuts, Fred,
baby, sweetheart,
I think I got the answer.
Aw, thanks, sam, I knew
I could count on you.
Fred, baby, sweetheart,
as everyone knows, Sam Stone's
got a heart of gold, right?
- Right?
- Right.
So Sam is getting you
a big TV star for peanuts.
Sweetie, honey,
tell Mr. Chips we'd like
to see him in here, ok?
How about that?
We're getting
Mr. Chips.
Who's he?
What do you mean,
"Who's he?"
He's, uh...
like sam said,
a big tv star.
And here he is now.
Oh, Fred,
he isn't so big.
Gee, I don't know
what to say, Sammy.
Say it's charity,
sweetheart,
when you get a big star
who will work for peanuts,
salary-wise.
Fred: Well,
what's his act?
He's a method actor, Fred.
Strictly method.
Barney:
What's that mean?
Give us some method acting,
chips, baby.
[yawn]
Hey, those method actors
sure can act.
He's got me thinking
he's a chimpanzee.
Fred:
he is a chimpanzee.
And his act would make my wife
look like a monkey.
What do you expect
for the peanuts
you're spending, Fred?
And, uh,
how much you got?
35 peanuts--
uh, dollars.
Sweetie, send in any old
35-buck routine you come across.
Come on, chips.
I'll flip you for lunch.
But, Sam,
what about--
your 35 bucks?
Flintstone,
I could book
my mother-in-law
at the laundromat
for more than that.
So long, fellas.
So long, Sammy,
baby, sweetheart.
Hey, that Sammy Stone is
a true buddy-buddy, Fred.
That big phony.
How do you figure?
Well, look, he's showing us some
acts right at our price level.
Yeah.
The bargain basement.
[playing badly]
Barney: It's, uh, different,
Fred. Very different.
Fred: Next!
Hey, Fred,
I think she likes you.
Next!
All the kids in show biz
know Sammy, Sammy.
You're the guy
who makes the dough
Sam Stone Agency
with generosity
you kindly take our fee
at 10%, we'll play a tent
for the Sam Stone agency
Well?
Fred: Next!
Pretty nifty, huh, Fred?
Yeah. Too nifty for
the ladies auxiliary.
Next.
Would one of you gentlemen
assist me in my act?
Oh, a magic act, huh?
He's gonna make me disappear
or something.
Anything you want me
to tell Wilma
in case he can't
bring you back?
Hey, what kind of magic act
do you call this?
Yeow!
Watch it there, Charlie!
I bruise easily!
Stop it, Fred, please!
You're making me dizzy!
Stop what?
I'm not doing anything.
Hey!
[crash]
What do you think,
Fred?
Definitely not.
Let's get out of here,
Barney.
We're wasting our time.
"Fred, sweetheart, baby,
Sam is getting you
a big TV star."
Oh, that Hollyrock phony.
I've seen better talent
in a zoo.
Gee, Fred, what are you
going to tell Wilma?
The truth, what else?
What you usually
tell her--a story.
No, Barney, no.
I'm simply going to
walk in and say,
"Wilma, I did my best,
but I failed.
I did not get an act
for your show."
Are you sure
you want to do that?
Of course.
What can she do, sue me?
No, but don't say
I didn't tell you so
When Wilma says,
"I told you so."
[door slams]
Hi, Fred.
Well, I told you so.
You told me what?
That you can't
hire a star for $35.
You're dead sure I failed today,
aren't you, Wilma?
Fred, even you can't
do the impossible.
Oh, your confidence in me
is very touching.
Remember when you invested in
that novelty pajamas company?
It could have made us
millionaires.
Instead, we wound up
with no money...
and 100 pairs of pajamas
that glowed in the dark.
Enough, Wilma!
But I still had
confidence in you...
even when you traded our car
for all that oil stock
and then found that
you'd bought two olive trees.
Wilma,
I'm warning you!
Next.
There are many things
you can do, Fred,
but negotiating big deals
isn't one of them.
Is that so?
Well, what do you think of this,
Mrs. Doubtful Thomas?
I got your act!
Fred, you're kidding!
It's the biggest act
anywhere,
and it won't cost
you anything!
It's free and gratis,
and besides,
I-It's for nothing.
I can't believe it!
Who is it, Fred? Who?
Well, it's, uh...
It's a surprise.
But I'll have to put it on the
tickets and everything.
Who is it?
Uh, I'll tell you
after dinner.
I got to relax first.
Oh, how could I have doubted you,
you wonderful man?
Mmwaa.
You did it!
Yeah. Me and my
big mouth did it.
I can't imagine
who you got.
Neither can I.
Stall for time, Fred.
You got to think!
What did you say, Fred?
I said I'm thirsty.
Bring me a drink.
[television playing]
Thank you, thank you,
ladies and gentlemen.
Tonight,
we have a really big show.
And to start off
with a bang,
we bring you
that boy with the twang.
Here's your water, Fred.
Now tell me who you got.
Come on, Fred.
Who is it, please?
Quiet, Wilma.
I'm relaxing.
Here he is, folks,
The sensational,
the incomparable Rock Roll.
[applause]
And his hit record
The Twitch
There's a town I know
where the hipsters go
called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
When you get an itch
When you do the twitch
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
'Cause the twitching's fine
Have yourself a time
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
Fred, I want to know now!
Well, We'll twist around
the clock tonight
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
and rock is gonna roll
with all his might
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
It's a swingin' town
So I'll see you down
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
Yeah, yeah
Fred, who did you get?
Him!
That's who!
I got Rock Roll to come
perform at your show!
Now will you
get off my back?
Fred, what did you say?
Yeah.
What did I say?
Oh, Fred, say it again.
I got rock roll
to perform at your show.
Oh, boy!
I thought you were going to tell
Wilma the truth, Fred.
- I was.
- So what happened?
She hit me with,
a fast "I told you so,"
and I was obliged to defend myself
with the Rock Roll story.
That's terrible.
What are you gonna do?
The honorable thing,
of course.
Sneak out of town.
And leave Wilma
holding the bag?
Fred, you wouldn't.
No, I guess not.
She can come with me.
Old buddy, I can see you're
all tied up in knots.
Let's go get
a massage.
Good idea, Barn.
Now, just relax, Fred,
and we'll find a calm,
sensible way out of this.
Right, right.
Ahh.
Calm and sensible.
We know Rock Roll
is in town on a tour, right?
Calm and sensible.
That's right.
OK, calm
and sensible like,
We go to his hotel
and kidnap him.
Right.
We kidnap rock roll.
Kidnap him?
What's the matter
with you, Barney?
Well, how else
can you get him?
Oh, I don't know.
How about me trying
to hypnotize him?
Gee, Fred, could you?
Sure, Barney.
I'd simply look him
in the eye,
and tell
him my problem,
and ask him to help
me out.
OK,
Let's go.
Are you kidding?
You can't walk in on a star
like Rock Roll
and ask him to
perform for free.
I didn't mean
to walk in,
but maybe if we go in on our
knees, crying a little,
what can we lose?
[crying]
Hey, Mr. Flintstone,
Mr. Rubble,
Y'all can
get off your knees now.
I'll do it!
Come on, fellas.
Quit your crying.
I said the answer's yes.
Did you hear that,
Barney?
He said yes.
You mean you'll perform
at my wife's show
for nothing?
Sure enough. Yeah.
Oh, Mr. Roll, you don't
know what this means,
and I don't know
how to thank you.
Great day
in the morning, man.
I know how it is.
Got me a little gal never stops
jawing sunup to sundown.
Barney-boy,
he said yes!
He sure enough did.
Besides, it's a chance
to try out my new song
in front of a audience.
[clicking]
Hey, there, fella.
That's my career
you're fussing with.
Y'all better
clear out now, hear?.
How do you like this,
boys?
I'm what you might call
a hardtop convertible.
Hoowee, fellas!
I laughed myself up
an appetite.
Come on, let's have
something to eat.
Man, I do
dearly love my food.
Say, you eat pretty good
yourself, Mr. Flintstone.
You remind me
of my daddy.
Folks called him plump pa.
What a coincidence.
Folks call Mr. Flintstone
here fat Fred,
Don't they,
Mr. Flintstone?
[choking]
Get this stuff
away from me!
Quick!
Ah-choo!
Oh, that's better.
What's wrong, Rock?
Pickled dodo eggs--
I'm allergic to them.
No fooling?
If I just smell them,
I sneeze...
but if I eat
any pickled dodo eggs,
Hoowee!
I lose my voice
completely.
Can't talk or sing for days.
Oh, that's too bad.
Oh, no,
t'ain't bad at all.
It's pickled dodo eggs
got me $2 million,
My own recording company,
Three houses, two cars,
an airplane,
and I'm a star.
All that from
pickled dodo eggs?
How come?
Well, boys,
about a year ago,
I was playing my guitar
for a school dance, see...
when somebody give me
a pickled dodo-egg sandwich.
Man, I started sneezing and
itching and jumping around
like a horny-toad frog
on a hot stove.
Fella saw me, figured it
was the twitching was my act,
and hired me
for his nightclub.
So that's how you
started the twitch,
all two-million-bucks'
worth of it, from an allergy?
Maybe that's why we're
not rich, Fred.
The worst we can get
are simple head colds.
Barney, just being allergic
ain't enough.
You got to have talent,
as Rock will prove
at the ladies auxiliary show.
Right, Rock?
Well, I aim to try.
And here's the song
I'm gonna sing at your show.
It's one I just recorded.
Sowbelly, pot of beans
tie a rope around your jeans
tell your mom not to wait
you ain't gettin' home
till late
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah
We're gonna twitch
There's a town I know
where the hipsters go
called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
When you get an itch
Then you do the twitch
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
'Cause the twitching's fine
Have yourself a time
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
Hey, a song
about our town.
Well, we'll twist around
the clock tonight
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
and rock is gonna roll
with all his might
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
It's a swingin' town
so I'll see you down
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
yeah, yeah
Come on, fellas!
Get with it!
That's right, Mr. Rubble!
Hey, you ought to try this
twitching, Fred. It's fun.
Join in, Mr. Flintstone!
Well, it's a little tricky,
but...UH, I'll try.
You sure you made two
million bucks doing this?
I swear
on my gold record I did.
Boy, this sure beats
hauling rocks.
Gee, Betty, are you
as excited as I am?
And how.
The show's a complete sellout
thanks to Fred.
Think nothing
of it, girls.
No trouble.
All it took was--
some crying, begging,
and pleading.
Come on, let's
go to our seats.
You girls go ahead.
We'll meet you there.
We promised to help out
with the lights.
Wilma:
Alright, boys, but hurry.
I wish Rock would get here.
Why's he so late?
Easy, Fred.
He'll get here.
Everybody in Bedrock
must be out there.
Boy, imagine all those people
waiting for one guy.
His public.
You got a public, Fred.
You got me and
Wilma and Betty.
That's not a public.
That's a bridge game.
What's keeping Rock?
Where's Fred and Barney?
Gee, they'd better
be starting the show.
This audience
is getting restless.
He's not in there.
He's not our here. Where is he?
Relax, Fred. He'll
be here any--
[horn honks]
Hey, there's Rock's car,
and there's Rock.
hurry up, Rock.
Hurry up.
The whole town's
waiting for you
to get out there and twitch.
Huh? What do you mean, no?
Barney,
what's eating this guy?
I think the question is,
Fred,
"What's this guy
been eating?"
I-It begins with an "o"
and has wings?
You, uh, you ate an owl?
No, Fred.
It begins
with a "do."
He ate a doughnut.
I got it.
He ate a doughnut hole...
With, uh, wings?
Oh, brother.
Am I ever in a pickle.
You mean
you're in a pickle, too?
No, Fred.
The pickle's in him.
Oh, no!
You mean
pickled dodo-bird eggs?
You ate some by mistake?
[gulp gulp]
Oh, Rock, you can't sing!
I'm finished!
I'm through!
Barney, Barney,
he can't sing!
What will I do?
Huh? What's
all this stuff?
It looks like Rock's costume,
his guitar,
and his record, Fred.
Oh, I get it!
You go out on the stage
in his costume
and make your mouth
match Rock's recording.
Right, Rock?
Hold it, rock!
I can't get away with this!
[whistles]
Rock, come back!
I-I get stage fright!
Come on, Fred.
Your public is waiting.
I can't do it, Barney.
I'm scared stiff.
That crowd wants rock roll,
not fat Fred.
They'll never know
the difference, Fred.
All those people out there
now belong to you.
They're your public,
all yours.
M-My public?
Yes. How about that?
I got my own private public.
Here he is, folks!
The sensational,
The one and only Rock Roll,
in person!
[applause]
I don't want my public!
Send them home!
Send me home!
I'm scared.
Freddy-boy, I hate to do
this to you, but...
Yeow!
There's a town I know
where the hipsters go
called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
When you get an itch
Then you do the twitch
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
'Cause the twitching's fine
Have yourself a time
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
He's exciting!
He's marvelous!
He's Fred.
Fred?
Well, we'll twist around
the clock tonight
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
and Rock is gonna roll--
and Rock is gonna roll--
and Rock is gonna roll--
and Rock is gonna roll--
and Rock is gonna roll--
and Rock is gonna roll--
[awk]
sorry. Ha ha!
Must have dozed off.
Well, we'll twist around
the clock tonight
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
And rock is gonna roll
With all his might
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
It's a swingin' town
So I'll see you down
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
[whistles]
The most exciting act
in show business, folks!
Let's hear it
for Rock Roll!
Gee, Wilma,
I can't get over
How Fred saved the show
last night.
I know. Wasn't he marvelous?
And you know what?
He won't let me tell anyone.
Really?
Mm-hmm. This morning,
he told me to forget
the whole thing.
No fooling?
He's so modest.
He says anyone could have done it,
anyone at all.
[music playing]
Fred: sowbelly
and a pot of beans
tie that rope
around your jeans
Wilma, what's that
awful noise?
I don't know. But it sounds
like someone's had an accident.
Twitch, twitch
There's a town I know
where the hipsters go
called Bedrock
Oh, baby, baby, baby
Fred!
Baby, baby...
Hello, Wilma.
Fred, what are
you wearing?
What are you doing?
Why are you home from work?
I quit my job, Wilma.
You what?
I quit. Anyone can lug boulders
around a rock quarry.
But, Fred, you've worked
so hard to get ahead.
Exactly, and I'm through
with working hard.
I'm going into
show business.
Wilma:
Oh, no.
You saw me last night,
sweetheart, baby.
I was one sensational
smasharoonie.
So I'm going
to be a star.
Even picked the name
of my first record album--
Fatty Fred Flintstone
sings you music to twitch by.
You like it?
Betty and Wilma:
fatty Fred Flintstone?
It will be
stuff like this.
There's a town I know
where the hipsters go
[aroo]
Baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby
Hand them over, Dino.
Ladies first.
That includes me.
Be ba be ba be ba
baby, baby
Baby, baby
Baby, baby
Oh, the town called Bedrock
where you twitch and twitch
Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Someday, maybe Fred
will win the fight
then that cat will stay out
for the night
When you're
with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
a dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
We'll have a gay old time
Wilma!
Come on, fellas!
Get with it!
That's right, Mr. Rubble!
Hey, you ought to try this
twitching, Fred. It's fun.
Join in, Mr. Flintstone.
Well, it's a little tricky,
But... Uh, I'll try.
You sure you made two million
bucks doing this?
I swear on my gold record I did.
Boy, this sure beats
hauling rocks.
[squawk]
Yabba-dabba-doo!
Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
from the town of bedrock
they're a page
right out of history
Let's ride with the family
down the street
through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet
When you're with
the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo
time
a dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
Let's face it, Betty.
As chairman of our ladies auxiliary
entertainment committee,
I'm a flop.
Oh, gee, Wilma,
You've only got a week
to get an act...
for our big charity
benefit show.
And I don't know
where to start.
Hmm. How about
a mind-reading act?
No. The ladies do that
at home all the time.
[tires squeal]
Oh, there's Fred.
What does he say?
We haven't discussed it.
He's been working so hard lately,
All I hear
is three things--
"What a day," "I'm beat," and
"What's for dinner?"
[door opens]
Oh, boy. What a day.
I am beat.
Wilma, what's for dinner?
I'm starving.
No! No, Dino!
Down, boy! Down!
Heel!
Heel, boy! Down, Dino!
What's for dinner?
How would
a trained seal be?
Wilma, I've told you
a hundred times--
no new recipes.
It's not for you, Fred.
It's for the ladies auxiliary.
Well, they can get
their own dinner.
Did you ever see
such a grouch, Betty?
I will if I don't get
Barney's dinner on the table.
Bye, folks.
Wilma: Bye.
Fine thing.
A man comes home from work,
and what does he want?
His paper, his pipe,
his slippers, and dinner.
And what does he get?
Wisecracks.
Like, "a trained seal"--
for dinner, yet.
For me, it's decisions,
decisions, decisions
All day long,
but Wilma can't decide
whether to feed me
or the ladies auxiliary.
Now, I like that.
you do, huh?
Well, while you're
liking things,
how come you don't like me
as much as Dino does?
I do like you
as much as Dino, Fred,
but I'm all in a dither because
I can't find an act...
for our charity show.
Oh, is that all?
Fred, it's a big problem.
So get a big star
who will draw a big crowd.
For 35 little dollars?
When's a potato peeler
get a coffee break around here?
Wilma, money is no problem
when you think big.
Since when?
Since I happen to have
a big friend...
who's a big agent
for big stars.
Fred, I don't think
you'll get a star for $35.
Then stop thinking, Wilma.
I will handle it.
Gee, Fred, nobody can hire
a star for no money.
Barney, Sam Stone and me
were buddies...
way before he became
a big agent.
I won't need money
with good old Sam.
So I promised
the wife a star for peanuts,
Sammy, old pal.
Well, for peanuts, Fred,
baby, sweetheart,
I think I got the answer.
Aw, thanks, sam, I knew
I could count on you.
Fred, baby, sweetheart,
as everyone knows, Sam Stone's
got a heart of gold, right?
- Right?
- Right.
So Sam is getting you
a big TV star for peanuts.
Sweetie, honey,
tell Mr. Chips we'd like
to see him in here, ok?
How about that?
We're getting
Mr. Chips.
Who's he?
What do you mean,
"Who's he?"
He's, uh...
like sam said,
a big tv star.
And here he is now.
Oh, Fred,
he isn't so big.
Gee, I don't know
what to say, Sammy.
Say it's charity,
sweetheart,
when you get a big star
who will work for peanuts,
salary-wise.
Fred: Well,
what's his act?
He's a method actor, Fred.
Strictly method.
Barney:
What's that mean?
Give us some method acting,
chips, baby.
[yawn]
Hey, those method actors
sure can act.
He's got me thinking
he's a chimpanzee.
Fred:
he is a chimpanzee.
And his act would make my wife
look like a monkey.
What do you expect
for the peanuts
you're spending, Fred?
And, uh,
how much you got?
35 peanuts--
uh, dollars.
Sweetie, send in any old
35-buck routine you come across.
Come on, chips.
I'll flip you for lunch.
But, Sam,
what about--
your 35 bucks?
Flintstone,
I could book
my mother-in-law
at the laundromat
for more than that.
So long, fellas.
So long, Sammy,
baby, sweetheart.
Hey, that Sammy Stone is
a true buddy-buddy, Fred.
That big phony.
How do you figure?
Well, look, he's showing us some
acts right at our price level.
Yeah.
The bargain basement.
[playing badly]
Barney: It's, uh, different,
Fred. Very different.
Fred: Next!
Hey, Fred,
I think she likes you.
Next!
All the kids in show biz
know Sammy, Sammy.
You're the guy
who makes the dough
Sam Stone Agency
with generosity
you kindly take our fee
at 10%, we'll play a tent
for the Sam Stone agency
Well?
Fred: Next!
Pretty nifty, huh, Fred?
Yeah. Too nifty for
the ladies auxiliary.
Next.
Would one of you gentlemen
assist me in my act?
Oh, a magic act, huh?
He's gonna make me disappear
or something.
Anything you want me
to tell Wilma
in case he can't
bring you back?
Hey, what kind of magic act
do you call this?
Yeow!
Watch it there, Charlie!
I bruise easily!
Stop it, Fred, please!
You're making me dizzy!
Stop what?
I'm not doing anything.
Hey!
[crash]
What do you think,
Fred?
Definitely not.
Let's get out of here,
Barney.
We're wasting our time.
"Fred, sweetheart, baby,
Sam is getting you
a big TV star."
Oh, that Hollyrock phony.
I've seen better talent
in a zoo.
Gee, Fred, what are you
going to tell Wilma?
The truth, what else?
What you usually
tell her--a story.
No, Barney, no.
I'm simply going to
walk in and say,
"Wilma, I did my best,
but I failed.
I did not get an act
for your show."
Are you sure
you want to do that?
Of course.
What can she do, sue me?
No, but don't say
I didn't tell you so
When Wilma says,
"I told you so."
[door slams]
Hi, Fred.
Well, I told you so.
You told me what?
That you can't
hire a star for $35.
You're dead sure I failed today,
aren't you, Wilma?
Fred, even you can't
do the impossible.
Oh, your confidence in me
is very touching.
Remember when you invested in
that novelty pajamas company?
It could have made us
millionaires.
Instead, we wound up
with no money...
and 100 pairs of pajamas
that glowed in the dark.
Enough, Wilma!
But I still had
confidence in you...
even when you traded our car
for all that oil stock
and then found that
you'd bought two olive trees.
Wilma,
I'm warning you!
Next.
There are many things
you can do, Fred,
but negotiating big deals
isn't one of them.
Is that so?
Well, what do you think of this,
Mrs. Doubtful Thomas?
I got your act!
Fred, you're kidding!
It's the biggest act
anywhere,
and it won't cost
you anything!
It's free and gratis,
and besides,
I-It's for nothing.
I can't believe it!
Who is it, Fred? Who?
Well, it's, uh...
It's a surprise.
But I'll have to put it on the
tickets and everything.
Who is it?
Uh, I'll tell you
after dinner.
I got to relax first.
Oh, how could I have doubted you,
you wonderful man?
Mmwaa.
You did it!
Yeah. Me and my
big mouth did it.
I can't imagine
who you got.
Neither can I.
Stall for time, Fred.
You got to think!
What did you say, Fred?
I said I'm thirsty.
Bring me a drink.
[television playing]
Thank you, thank you,
ladies and gentlemen.
Tonight,
we have a really big show.
And to start off
with a bang,
we bring you
that boy with the twang.
Here's your water, Fred.
Now tell me who you got.
Come on, Fred.
Who is it, please?
Quiet, Wilma.
I'm relaxing.
Here he is, folks,
The sensational,
the incomparable Rock Roll.
[applause]
And his hit record
The Twitch
There's a town I know
where the hipsters go
called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
When you get an itch
When you do the twitch
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
'Cause the twitching's fine
Have yourself a time
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
Fred, I want to know now!
Well, We'll twist around
the clock tonight
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
and rock is gonna roll
with all his might
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
It's a swingin' town
So I'll see you down
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
Yeah, yeah
Fred, who did you get?
Him!
That's who!
I got Rock Roll to come
perform at your show!
Now will you
get off my back?
Fred, what did you say?
Yeah.
What did I say?
Oh, Fred, say it again.
I got rock roll
to perform at your show.
Oh, boy!
I thought you were going to tell
Wilma the truth, Fred.
- I was.
- So what happened?
She hit me with,
a fast "I told you so,"
and I was obliged to defend myself
with the Rock Roll story.
That's terrible.
What are you gonna do?
The honorable thing,
of course.
Sneak out of town.
And leave Wilma
holding the bag?
Fred, you wouldn't.
No, I guess not.
She can come with me.
Old buddy, I can see you're
all tied up in knots.
Let's go get
a massage.
Good idea, Barn.
Now, just relax, Fred,
and we'll find a calm,
sensible way out of this.
Right, right.
Ahh.
Calm and sensible.
We know Rock Roll
is in town on a tour, right?
Calm and sensible.
That's right.
OK, calm
and sensible like,
We go to his hotel
and kidnap him.
Right.
We kidnap rock roll.
Kidnap him?
What's the matter
with you, Barney?
Well, how else
can you get him?
Oh, I don't know.
How about me trying
to hypnotize him?
Gee, Fred, could you?
Sure, Barney.
I'd simply look him
in the eye,
and tell
him my problem,
and ask him to help
me out.
OK,
Let's go.
Are you kidding?
You can't walk in on a star
like Rock Roll
and ask him to
perform for free.
I didn't mean
to walk in,
but maybe if we go in on our
knees, crying a little,
what can we lose?
[crying]
Hey, Mr. Flintstone,
Mr. Rubble,
Y'all can
get off your knees now.
I'll do it!
Come on, fellas.
Quit your crying.
I said the answer's yes.
Did you hear that,
Barney?
He said yes.
You mean you'll perform
at my wife's show
for nothing?
Sure enough. Yeah.
Oh, Mr. Roll, you don't
know what this means,
and I don't know
how to thank you.
Great day
in the morning, man.
I know how it is.
Got me a little gal never stops
jawing sunup to sundown.
Barney-boy,
he said yes!
He sure enough did.
Besides, it's a chance
to try out my new song
in front of a audience.
[clicking]
Hey, there, fella.
That's my career
you're fussing with.
Y'all better
clear out now, hear?.
How do you like this,
boys?
I'm what you might call
a hardtop convertible.
Hoowee, fellas!
I laughed myself up
an appetite.
Come on, let's have
something to eat.
Man, I do
dearly love my food.
Say, you eat pretty good
yourself, Mr. Flintstone.
You remind me
of my daddy.
Folks called him plump pa.
What a coincidence.
Folks call Mr. Flintstone
here fat Fred,
Don't they,
Mr. Flintstone?
[choking]
Get this stuff
away from me!
Quick!
Ah-choo!
Oh, that's better.
What's wrong, Rock?
Pickled dodo eggs--
I'm allergic to them.
No fooling?
If I just smell them,
I sneeze...
but if I eat
any pickled dodo eggs,
Hoowee!
I lose my voice
completely.
Can't talk or sing for days.
Oh, that's too bad.
Oh, no,
t'ain't bad at all.
It's pickled dodo eggs
got me $2 million,
My own recording company,
Three houses, two cars,
an airplane,
and I'm a star.
All that from
pickled dodo eggs?
How come?
Well, boys,
about a year ago,
I was playing my guitar
for a school dance, see...
when somebody give me
a pickled dodo-egg sandwich.
Man, I started sneezing and
itching and jumping around
like a horny-toad frog
on a hot stove.
Fella saw me, figured it
was the twitching was my act,
and hired me
for his nightclub.
So that's how you
started the twitch,
all two-million-bucks'
worth of it, from an allergy?
Maybe that's why we're
not rich, Fred.
The worst we can get
are simple head colds.
Barney, just being allergic
ain't enough.
You got to have talent,
as Rock will prove
at the ladies auxiliary show.
Right, Rock?
Well, I aim to try.
And here's the song
I'm gonna sing at your show.
It's one I just recorded.
Sowbelly, pot of beans
tie a rope around your jeans
tell your mom not to wait
you ain't gettin' home
till late
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah
We're gonna twitch
There's a town I know
where the hipsters go
called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
When you get an itch
Then you do the twitch
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
'Cause the twitching's fine
Have yourself a time
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
Hey, a song
about our town.
Well, we'll twist around
the clock tonight
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
and rock is gonna roll
with all his might
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
It's a swingin' town
so I'll see you down
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
yeah, yeah
Come on, fellas!
Get with it!
That's right, Mr. Rubble!
Hey, you ought to try this
twitching, Fred. It's fun.
Join in, Mr. Flintstone!
Well, it's a little tricky,
but...UH, I'll try.
You sure you made two
million bucks doing this?
I swear
on my gold record I did.
Boy, this sure beats
hauling rocks.
Gee, Betty, are you
as excited as I am?
And how.
The show's a complete sellout
thanks to Fred.
Think nothing
of it, girls.
No trouble.
All it took was--
some crying, begging,
and pleading.
Come on, let's
go to our seats.
You girls go ahead.
We'll meet you there.
We promised to help out
with the lights.
Wilma:
Alright, boys, but hurry.
I wish Rock would get here.
Why's he so late?
Easy, Fred.
He'll get here.
Everybody in Bedrock
must be out there.
Boy, imagine all those people
waiting for one guy.
His public.
You got a public, Fred.
You got me and
Wilma and Betty.
That's not a public.
That's a bridge game.
What's keeping Rock?
Where's Fred and Barney?
Gee, they'd better
be starting the show.
This audience
is getting restless.
He's not in there.
He's not our here. Where is he?
Relax, Fred. He'll
be here any--
[horn honks]
Hey, there's Rock's car,
and there's Rock.
hurry up, Rock.
Hurry up.
The whole town's
waiting for you
to get out there and twitch.
Huh? What do you mean, no?
Barney,
what's eating this guy?
I think the question is,
Fred,
"What's this guy
been eating?"
I-It begins with an "o"
and has wings?
You, uh, you ate an owl?
No, Fred.
It begins
with a "do."
He ate a doughnut.
I got it.
He ate a doughnut hole...
With, uh, wings?
Oh, brother.
Am I ever in a pickle.
You mean
you're in a pickle, too?
No, Fred.
The pickle's in him.
Oh, no!
You mean
pickled dodo-bird eggs?
You ate some by mistake?
[gulp gulp]
Oh, Rock, you can't sing!
I'm finished!
I'm through!
Barney, Barney,
he can't sing!
What will I do?
Huh? What's
all this stuff?
It looks like Rock's costume,
his guitar,
and his record, Fred.
Oh, I get it!
You go out on the stage
in his costume
and make your mouth
match Rock's recording.
Right, Rock?
Hold it, rock!
I can't get away with this!
[whistles]
Rock, come back!
I-I get stage fright!
Come on, Fred.
Your public is waiting.
I can't do it, Barney.
I'm scared stiff.
That crowd wants rock roll,
not fat Fred.
They'll never know
the difference, Fred.
All those people out there
now belong to you.
They're your public,
all yours.
M-My public?
Yes. How about that?
I got my own private public.
Here he is, folks!
The sensational,
The one and only Rock Roll,
in person!
[applause]
I don't want my public!
Send them home!
Send me home!
I'm scared.
Freddy-boy, I hate to do
this to you, but...
Yeow!
There's a town I know
where the hipsters go
called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
When you get an itch
Then you do the twitch
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
'Cause the twitching's fine
Have yourself a time
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
He's exciting!
He's marvelous!
He's Fred.
Fred?
Well, we'll twist around
the clock tonight
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
and Rock is gonna roll--
and Rock is gonna roll--
and Rock is gonna roll--
and Rock is gonna roll--
and Rock is gonna roll--
and Rock is gonna roll--
[awk]
sorry. Ha ha!
Must have dozed off.
Well, we'll twist around
the clock tonight
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
And rock is gonna roll
With all his might
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
It's a swingin' town
So I'll see you down
in Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
[whistles]
The most exciting act
in show business, folks!
Let's hear it
for Rock Roll!
Gee, Wilma,
I can't get over
How Fred saved the show
last night.
I know. Wasn't he marvelous?
And you know what?
He won't let me tell anyone.
Really?
Mm-hmm. This morning,
he told me to forget
the whole thing.
No fooling?
He's so modest.
He says anyone could have done it,
anyone at all.
[music playing]
Fred: sowbelly
and a pot of beans
tie that rope
around your jeans
Wilma, what's that
awful noise?
I don't know. But it sounds
like someone's had an accident.
Twitch, twitch
There's a town I know
where the hipsters go
called Bedrock
Oh, baby, baby, baby
Fred!
Baby, baby...
Hello, Wilma.
Fred, what are
you wearing?
What are you doing?
Why are you home from work?
I quit my job, Wilma.
You what?
I quit. Anyone can lug boulders
around a rock quarry.
But, Fred, you've worked
so hard to get ahead.
Exactly, and I'm through
with working hard.
I'm going into
show business.
Wilma:
Oh, no.
You saw me last night,
sweetheart, baby.
I was one sensational
smasharoonie.
So I'm going
to be a star.
Even picked the name
of my first record album--
Fatty Fred Flintstone
sings you music to twitch by.
You like it?
Betty and Wilma:
fatty Fred Flintstone?
It will be
stuff like this.
There's a town I know
where the hipsters go
[aroo]
Baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby
Hand them over, Dino.
Ladies first.
That includes me.
Be ba be ba be ba
baby, baby
Baby, baby
Baby, baby
Oh, the town called Bedrock
where you twitch and twitch
Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
stone age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page
right out of history
Someday, maybe Fred
will win the fight
then that cat will stay out
for the night
When you're
with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
a dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
We'll have a gay old time
Wilma!