The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 3, Episode 4 - Bowling Ballet - full transcript

Woman with russian accent:
That's it, bublochka.

Stretch!

Uhh!

Stretch the muscles!

Stretch!

[crack]

Ok, Freddy-boy.

Now putting down
The leg.

Uhh!

Uhh!

I can't.
It won't go down.



You getting cramp
in the leg?

Ah, that's nothing,
Bublochka.

I'll fix it.

Easy, easy.

[cracking]

There!
It's down.

[boing]

The other way was better.

Honest, miss Cobblehov.

[boing]

I think you're right,
Freddy-boy.

[squawk]

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Flintstones, meet the Flintstones
They're the modern Stone Age Family



From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history

Let's ride with the family down the street
Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet

When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time

A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time

[snoring]

Fred? Get up, Fred.
You'll be late for work.

Come on, Fred.
Get up!

[snoring]

Oh, dear.

I never heard of anyone
sleeping as soundly as he does.

Well, if it has to be,
It has to be.

[clang clang clang]

[arr arr arr]

[arr arr arr]

Sounds like Wilma
is having trouble...

getting old Freddy-boy up
this morning, Betty.

Wilma has trouble getting old
Freddy-boy up every morning.

Yeah, Fred doesn't go to sleep,
He hibernates.

Huh huh huh huh!

That's it, Dino.

Easy, easy!

There.
He's on his feet.

Now, now let the bed down.

Easy, easy.

That's it.
Thanks, Dino.

[arr arr arr]

Fred, wake up!

You have to go to work.

You know, work?
Money, pay, the rent, groceries.

Bowling.

Huh?

Bowling?

That's it!
Now stay awake, Fred.

Get washed and shaved

while I fix breakfast.

I'm late for bowling.

I'll be with you
in a minute, Barney.

[crash]

Oh, dear, Fred must have crawled
out the window again.

Come on, Dino.

Wilma: That's it.
Upsy-daisy, Fred.

Alright, Dino.
Let's go.

[arr arr arr]

Wh-wh-wh-what happened?

Nothing, Fred.
Just get shaved.

Wilma!
Where's my shaver?

In the medicine
cabinet, dear.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
I see it.

Hmm... empty again.

[buzzing]

Gotcha,
You little bumble!

[humming]

What's taking
that man so long?

Hurry it up, Fred.
Breakfast is ready.

Be right with you,
Honey.

Oh, Fred,
are you still using

that greasy kid stuff
on your hair?

Oh, Flintstone,
You are a living doll.

[boing]

Ah, what's the use?

One or two eggs, Fred?

Just one. I'm not hungry
this morning.

Ok, you watch the toaster
when it pops up.

[crack]

[boing]

[crash]

Someday somebody's
going to figure out

a better way
to make toast.

Here you are, Fred.
Your egg's ready.

Now, try not to hit
the fence this morning.

Your judgment of distance
has been very bad lately.

Why don't you
go back to bed...

and leave the driving to me?

"Just don't hit
the fence." Oh, boy!

I happen to nick
the fence yesterday.

I'll never hear
the end of it.

[crash]

Fred!
Are you alright?

Yeah. I'm alright,

And I hope you're satisfied
with what you've done.

What did I do?

You jinxed me,
that's what you did!

"Don't hit the fence,

Don't hit the fence,"
You tell me.

Alright, Fred. I'm sorry I
knocked the fence down.

Ok, but hereafter watch it.

I wonder if any other wives

have as much trouble getting
their husbands off to work.

[tweet]

Hey, Flintstone!
This rock goes next!

Ok, Charlie!

Fred: Easy, now.
That's it.

Up! Up! Up!

Where does it go, Charlie?

In a truck!

Right!

Little more, a little more.

Ok. Drop it!

Hey, Flintstone!

That's the second truck
you've wrecked this week!

I'm sorry, Charlie.
My timing seems to be off.

You can say that again.

Boy, how clumsy
can a guy get?

Oh, boy,
two trucks in one week!

They won't stand for that
much longer.

[whistle blows]

Lunchtime!

Here he comes.

And there he goes.

How about that?

Fred's been bowling
on his lunch hour...

every day for
the last two weeks.

I guess he's practicing

for the big game
with the Rockland Rockets.

Aw, Fred doesn't
have to practice.

He's the best
bowler in town.

Hi, Fred. Over here
in alley 4.

Let's go, pal!

[bang bang bang]

Gee, Fred,
did you hurt yourself?

No. I'm ok,

But I can't figure out
why I'm so awkward lately.

I can't seem to do
anything right.

Falling down steps,
smashing up trucks--

Even my bowling is way off.

I can't seem to throw
a strike anymore.

You're just temporarily
out of rhythm, pal.

Bowling with me every day will
bring it back. You'll see.

Well, I sure hope so.

The big match with the Rockland
Rockets is next week.

Yeah, and our team is counting
on you to win for us,

So grab a ball and
let's get practicing.

Right, coach,
I feel better already.

That's the spirit, Pal.

I'll start the game.

Yeow!

Wh-what happened, Fred?

I dropped the ball
on my big toe-oe-oe!

Ah! Ow!

Well, I'll say one thing.

When you get clumsy,
you don't fool around.

Well, that's game, Fred.

Uh, let's see, uh...

Hey, I got a 9 in the last frame,
not an 8.

Ok, 9. Instead of 63,
You got a 64.

That's closer to
breaking 100

Than you have been
all week, Fred.

64? Uh... uh...

I'm all through.

I--I can't bowl anymore!

Waahahaha!

Ahhwaaah!

Blblblbl!

No, no, Fred, don't.

Listen to me, Fred.
Hey, stop it.

Excuse me, pal,

But this is
for your own good.

Thanks, Barney.

Anytime, Fred.

Hey, come on, we got time
for one more game.

I feel confident, Barney.

This is going to be a strike.
I can feel it.

Attaboy, Fred.

Let's see
that old form, huh?

[klunk]

Uh-oh, time's up, Fred.

It's 1:00. I got to
Get back to work.

Yeah. Me, too.

Hey, Flintstone!
I want to talk to you!

Oh, the boss!

Now I'll catch it
for being late.

Uh, hiya, Mr. Slate.

Y-you wanted to see me?

Yes. Do you know
what time it is?

Yes, I'm sorry
I'm a little bit late.

You're a lot late,
Flintstone!

But it's ok.

I know you were practicing
for the big match.

You know?

Uh-huh. And did you know
your fellow employees

are betting a month's wages
on your team?

A m-m-month's w-w-wages?

Yes. They got a lot of
confidence in you.

Oh, boy.

And the company has a big wad
riding on you, also.

Huh?

We have to pay
for the trucks.

You've been smashing,
You know.

Oh. Yeah, yeah.
The trucks. Ha ha!

Otherwise, we'd have to
dock you for the damage.

Now get to work!

Man:
Hey, Fred.

All me boys are betting
on you next week,

And we're all sore losers.

Heh heh heh heh!

Yuuww!
What a spot I'm in.

That darn fly,
He disappeared again!

I've got to get rid of him
before Fred gets home.

He can't stand
flies in the house.

There he is, Wilma.

Where?

Behind the v-a-s-e.

Look out!
He's coming this way!

I see him.

Grab a newspaper
and help me, Betty.

Ok.
Drive him over here.

Rats! I'll get him.

Whoops!

Did you get him?

Uh, yeah,
I got him good.

I think
I'll go home now, Wilma.

I'll leave
by the back door.

Alright, Betty, and
thanks for helping me...

get rid of that fly.

Oh, yeah, sure.

By the way, Fred's home.
See you later.

Fred's home?

Why doesn't he come in?

Fred!
What's the matter?

Nothing.
Nothing at all.

I'm just
On a lucky streak,

Only the luck is all bad.

But what made you fall?

Who knows? I don't even know
Why my head hurts.

I got no time
to figure it out now.

I got something big
to worry about.

Well, sit down
and eat, Fred.

I'm sure
You'll feel better.

I fixed
Your favorite dish--

Barbecued
brontosaurus ribs.

No, no. I'll skip dinner.
I don't feel hungry.

Rrawwk!
Fred Flintstone not hungry?

Rrawwk! Rrawwk! Rrawwk!

And after I hit Fred
with the newspaper,

I left without telling Wilma.

I feel so ashamed of myself.

Forget it, honey.

You couldn't hurt Fred
with an old newspaper.

He probably thought
It was some kind of joke.

Yeah, I think
that's very funny.

Well, I don't.

And after dinner, I'm going
to apologize to Wilma.

Fred, if you're
going to mope all evening

and won't tell me
what's worrying you,

I might as well go to bed
and read a good book.

[grumbling]

I'll turn on the tv.

It may snap you
out of it.

See you later, Fred.

Good evening.

Welcome to the Bedrock
Dance Studio hour.

Are you awkward?
Uncoordinated?

Have you got
two left feet?

Rhythm is the secret of success
in many activities--

Dancing, golf, swimming,
bowling.

Bowling?

Let the Bedrock Dance Studio
help you regain...

your youthful rhythm
and coordination.

Hey! Maybe
they could help me

get my bowling form back!

I'm gonna run
right over there now!

Woman:
Good evening, sir.

Are you interested
in joining our group?

Fred: yeah, I want to
improve my bowling,

like the man
on television said.

I see.

Well, a course in ballet
would be best, for you, sir.

Bowling and ballet have
a similar rhythm.

Good! Good!
I got to get in shape

for the big match
next week or I'm sunk.

- When do I start?
- You can start right now.

Miss Cobblehov's
Ballet class...

is in studio "a."

[russian accent] We have a
new pupil with us, dahlings--

A Mr. Flintstone.

He wants to get his bowling
form back in a week.

We will do our best
to help him.

And here he is.

Mr. Flintstone!
Come out, dahling.

Ha ha ha!

Now, Mr. Flintstone,
watch a few ballet steps.

See how graceful
Natasha is.

[piano music playing]

Oh, why, I couldn't do anything
like that, Miss Cobblehov.

Of course not,
Freddy-boy.

You will have to
limber up first.

Stretch the muscles
on the bar.

That's it,
Bublochka.

Stretch!

Uhh!

Stretch!

[crack]

Ok, Freddy-boy.

Now putting down the leg.

Uhh!

Uhh!

I can't.
It won't go down.

You getting cramp
in the leg?

Ah, that's nothing,
Bublochka.

I'll fix it.

Easy, easy.

[crack]

There!
It's down.

[boing]

The other way was better.

Honest, miss Cobblehov.

[boing]

I think you're right,
Freddy-boy.

Honestly, Betty,
I think it's very funny,

You accidentally hitting Fred
with the newspaper...

then leave
without mentioning it.

It's hilarious.

I know it was
a silly thing to do,

but I guess
I just panicked.

Well, forget it.
Fred never even mentioned a word.

[door opens]

Oh, here's Fred now.

I'll apologize to him.

I didn't even know
He was out of the house.

Fred!
What's the matter?

Nothing's the matter.

I just feel like
hopping on one foot.

Goodnight.

Betty! Oh, Betty!

Good morning, Wilma.

Come on over
and have some coffee.

Not now, Betty.
You come over here.

I want to show you something.

What's wrong, dear?
You look real worried.

Fred didn't go to work
again this morning.

He called up and said
He was sick.

Well, maybe he is.

[piano music playing]
Look down in the basement.

See what you think.

Fred: and one... two...
One... two...

Up, up, up, up, up, up!

Oh, dear!

He isn't kidding.
He is sick.

Do you suppose that hit on
the head with the newspaper

shook something loose?

Wilma: I don't know,
but something is going on.

He's been acting
screwy all week long.

He's out all hours of the night,

and you know what
that means.

What?

Another woman!

Somehow I fail Fred
as a wife!

Oh, nonsense, Wilma!
There's no other woman,

and I'll prove it.

Tonight when Fred goes out,
give me a buzz

And I'll have Barney
follow him.

We'll find out
what he's up to,

But I'm sure
there's no other woman.

You'll see.

I hope you're right!

[ring]

Betty: Hello?

Oh, Wilma,
He just left, huh?

Ok.
Barney will follow him.

Fred's leaving, Barney.

Barney, what have you got
on your face?

It's a false mustache
so Fred won't recognize me.

Hey, how do I look?

You like Barney wearing
a false mustache.

Now get going
and don't lose him.

Barney: Oh, I won't.

Wilma, I'll be right over.

We'll wait for Barney's
call together.

- Hiya, Barney.
- Hiya, Fred.

Whoops!

[with accent]
Oh, pardon me.

I mistook you
for Fred flathauser,

My cousin on my mother's side.

Oh, excuse me.

Hmm...

Sure looked like Barney.

Boy, that was a close one.

I almost gave it away.

Uh-oh. He stopped in front of
the Bedrock Dance Studio.

What would Fred
be doing in there?

[piano music playing]

[clapping]

Congratulations,
Freddy-boy.

You have learned to ballet
in a week.

You will have no trouble with
your bowling now, I bet you.

Oh, thank you,
Miss Cobblehov.

Before you go,

How about dancing the swan
lake with the whole group?

Put on your skin-diving suits,
girls.

We are diving
into swan lake.

He's been there
for a half an hour.

I'll take a peek
and see what he's up to.

This waiting is awful!

I wish Barney would call.

Well, he will.
He will,

as soon as he finds Fred.

Now, try to be calm like me.

[telephone rings]

The phone!

Barney?
You found Fred?

It's Barney.
He found Fred.

Is he with another woman?

He isn't with another woman.

Oh, thank goodness.
I was wrong.

He's with 10 other women?

At the Bedrock Dance Studio?

What? Ooh, that man!

Come on, Betty.

We're going to pay a visit
to the Bedrock Dance Studio.

A--uh--wh--bu--

I'll give you two minutes...

to get out of that
black underwear...

and get dressed!
Understand?

Yeah.
Yeah, sure, Wilma.

Oh, boy.

Well, Fred explained the
whole thing to me last night,

And was it a doozy!

He said he was taking
ballet lessons

to help
His bowling game.

His bowling game?

Mm-hmm. Can you imagine?

So I said, "I'm going
to watch you bowl

"in the big match tonight,

And you're gonna prove
It, or else!"

You're not going to clobber
him with that bone, are you?

Oh, no.
This is for Dino.

Wilma: Here, dino! Here's
a brontosaurus bone for you.

[arr arr arr]

That's a good boy.

Here, catch!

Where's Dino going
with the bone, Wilma?

Oh, he's going to bury it.

Bury it? He'll be all day
digging a hole big enough.

I know, but after all,
what else has he got to do?

Barney, I feel awful.

I don't know
if that ballet stuff

is gonna help
my bowling or not.

You got good rhythm, Fred.
That's all you need.

Yeah, but if I don't
bowl good tonight,

Wilma won't
believe my story,

all the guys will
lose their dough,

and I'll probably
lose my job.

Well, there's only one way
to find out.

Step on it, or we'll
be late for the game.

Hey, Joe, here comes
Barney and Fred.

Boy, am I glad to see Fred.

Hiya, fellas, You can start now.
We're here.

[cheering]

Remember those
smashed trucks, Fred.

Heh heh heh heh!

Hey, Fred, the sore losers
are here to protect their bets.

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, brother!

The fat guy is Flintstone,
their top man.

He's the one

We rocklandr Rockets
got to beat.

Yeah. He's real good.

Ok, Fred.
You lead off.

Go get 'em, boy!

Yeah, Fred,
let's have a strike.

A s-strike.

Ok. I'll--I'll try.

Fred better be good
tonight,

Or he's in trouble over that
ballet routine he gave me.

Ha ha!
Right in the gutter!

The great flintstone!
Ha ha ha ha!

A gutter ball.

Hey, what happened,
Fred?

Fred:
It's no use, Barney.

I just can't bowl anymore.

Oh, sure you can, Fred.

You got your rhythm and
coordination back, remember?

Yeah, but only when
I do the ballet.

Ballet? Well, Fred,
bowl ballet-style!

Ballet-style?

Yeah! Why not?

Uh, let's see,
Uh...

Here's a good number.

Rrawwk! A classic!

After 10 years
of rock-'n'-roll,

my kind of music!

Oh, boy! Rrawwk!

[classical music playing]

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Barney:
Atta-boy, Fred.

That's the old form.

Man:
Good old Fred!

Is that legal?

Nothing in the book
against it.

Hooray!
It's another strike!

Yippee!

Fred told the truth.

He's combined bowling
with ballet.

Look, Barney is bowling
the last frame.

If he makes a strike, we win.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Strike-a-roonie!

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Hooray!

The Water Buffaloes win!

Thanks to Fred
and his ballet lessons.

Those guys are a bunch of birds.

Yeah, cuckoo!

But they clobbered us.

Hooray for Fred!

Flintstone is our hero.

Hooray!

Fred, honey, go you think I
could learn to dance the ballet?

I don't know, Wilma.
Let's find out.

Go ahead, Wilma.

If Fred can do it,
It'll be a cinch for you.

- Ready?
- Uh-huh.

Aaahh!

Well, that answers
my question.

I'm strictly
the waltz type.

Heh heh heh heh!

That's the type
I like best, sweetheart.

Mmmm!

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, Fred!

Mmmm!

Flintstones, meet the Flintstones
They're the modern Stone Age Family

From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history

Someday maybe Fred will win the fight
Then the cat will stay out for the night

When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time

A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!