The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 3, Episode 2 - Fred's New Boss - full transcript

Barney, I'd offer you
Some dough, only I know

You're too proud
to take it.

Try me.

Ok, here's a 10-spot,

But i know
You won't take it,

Because i'm a student
of human nature.

But you're not a student
of the unemployed.

And you still owe me
40 bucks more from last year.

That's only because

You won't bowl me
double or nothing.

But you beat me at bowling
every time, Fred.



Oh, what
a cheapskate excuse.

[whistle blows]

[siren]

[whistle blows]

Hmm. I just love that
Yogi Cave Bear show, Wilma.

So do I, Betty.

Thank you,
Yogi Cave Bear.

And now a word
from our sponsor.

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Is she kidding?

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Remember--

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Transapan 40.

What's transapan 40,
Wilma?

Who knows?
But it's probably

twice as good
as transapan 20.

But seriously,
Betty,

Those commercials
make me realize

my hair is a mess.

Look who's talking.

Mine's got all the beauty
of a football helmet.

Look, Wilma.

Huh. That's nothing.

Look.

Isn't that a doozy?

Let's face it, Wilma.

We need new hair styles.

[in unison] Let's go down
to the beauty parlor!

Here we are.

I hope Pierre can
take us right away.

Oh, I hope so.
I can hardly wait.

Oops.
You go ahead, Betty.

I forgot to put money
in the parking meter.

Remember,
You got just two hours.

Thank you.

I hope our new hair styles
turn out well, Wilma.

I'm sure they will,
Betty.

Attention, ladies.

Now that the hair is dry,

Pierre will
make you beautiful, yes?

This way,
if you please.

Be sure
to give us

The latest hair style.

Oh, but of course,
Madame Flintstone.

Now we
backcomb the hair,

Madame Flintstone.

The backcombing--

That is the secret.

Secret? Mystery
would be a better word.

This hair style

Will do something for you,
Madame Rubble.

Yeah. It could
Lose me Mr. Rubble.

Pierre is finished!

Come out, ladies,

And show your
new hair styles.

Betty!

Wilma!

It's darling!

Yes, ladies!

You are, how you say,
my masterpiece.

Thank you, Pierre.

Good-bye, Pierre.

There's no wind, Wilma.

We can get to the car.

Better walk tippy-toe.

Well, we made it
to the car.

Drive slowly, Wilma.

We have to get
these hairdos home.

Is this slow enough,
Betty?

Uh-oh. Stop a minute.

I think i feel
a breeze coming up.

[horns honking]

We're holding up a long
line of traffic, Betty.

It can't be helped,
Wilma.

We have a big investment
to protect.

Wilma, look what's coming on
the other side of the road!

A double-trailer truck
speeding fast.

It will make an awful breeze
when it passes.

Let's hope
for the best.

I'm hoping. I'm hoping.

Nothing.

[whoosh]

Well, we've got
no more worries

About what
the boys will say.

That's for sure.

There. Right back
where we started, Betty.

We gave it a good try.

I'll see you later.
I'm going to start dinner.

Me, too, Betty.

When I think of wasting
that money on a hairdo,

Especially when
We're so short...

Now we're flat broke.

I'll have to ask Barney to
get an advance on his salary.

Waste not, want not.

[door slams]

Barney, you're home
a little early.

Hiya, Betty.

Barney, I've
something to tell you.

No, wait. I got
something to tell you.

Well, no.
Mine's more important.

I bet you it isn't.

Ok. You tell me first.

Here it is.

They laid me off
from work today.

They laid you off?

Yep. Now, what were you
going to tell me?

Well, uh, w--

Well, I spent
the last $20 we had

on a hairdo today,
Barney.

Well, that's ok, Betty.

They fixed your hair
real nice.

Oh, that's the way I like it.

Oh, Barney!

I said they fixed
your hair real nice.

That's the way I like it.
what's wrong with that?

Women--sheesh!

Don't worry, Betty.

Barney will be called
back to work any day.

But he won't be unless the
company gets the contract

To build
that big catapult.

Catapult?

The one to catapult
a man to the moon.

Oh, that one.

Barney needs a job right now.
We're flat broke.

Don't worry, Betty.

I'll speak to Fred
When he comes home.

He might have
an idea.

Well, Fred,
how was dinner?

Real fine, Wilma.

Good, Fred.

I always worry
about your appetite.

Oh, boy.

I'm sorry I roasted
only one pterodactyl, Fred.

Oh,
That's ok, Wilma.

I'll eat a couple
of pizzas later on.

Fred, i'm worried
about Barney.

He was laid off today
and they're flat broke.

He doesn't know when
He'll be called back,

and he needs a job.

Boy, that's a tough
break for Barney.

Come on, wilma.

Let's go over
and cheer him up.

Good idea, Fred.

It was sure nice of Fred
to come over, Wilma.

Well, in a case
like this,

It needs
Man-to-man talk.

Ah, you got nothing
to worry about, Barney.

I don't?

Not a thing, barn.

It's always darkest
before the dawn.

No kidding?

Right. Every dark cloud
has a silver lining.

I didn't know that.

April showers
may bring may flowers.

Flowers, huh?

Yeah, and into each one's life
some rain must fall.

Some rain, huh?

Like you said, fred,

Into each one's life
some rain.

What's the matter with you?
I'm trying to cheer you up.

Weather reports
about clouds and showers

Won't do it, Fred.
I need a job.

Job, job.
Boy, what a one-track mind.

[clipping]

Barney, I'd offer you
some dough, only I know

You're too proud
to take it.

Try me.

Ok,
here's a 10-spot,

But I know
You won't take it,

Because I'm a student
of human nature.

Thanks, Fred.

But you're not a student
of the unemployed.

And you still owe me 40 bucks
more from last year.

That's only because

You won't bowl me
double or nothing.

But you beat me at bowling
every time, Fred.

Oh, boy. What
a cheapskate excuse.

[Wilma]
Oh, Fred.

Come here a minute,
please.

Ok, ok.

What is it, Wilma?

I was telling Betty

How much they depend on you

At the Bedrock quarry
and gravel company.

And wilma said you could
get Barney a job there

Since you're a key man
in the company.

Well, I'd be glad to,

But Barney doesn't
know anything

About the gravel
pit business.

They use only
skilled professionals.

Oh, but I'd
do anything, Fred--

Sweep floors,
run errands.

I'd work hard.

I'd advance myself.

I wouldn't stop

until I was running
the big machine.

Running the big machine?!

That's my job,
you eager beaver!

You heard that, Wilma!

This guy's angling
to steal my job!

That's enough of that
nonsense, Fred.

It's a big company.

The gravel pit's
only one of their interests.

So you get over
to mr. Slate's house

And put in a good word
for barney right away.

Oh, ok.

[ding-dong]

Hey, you're not
Mr. Slate.

Did he move?

No. I'm the butler.

Whom shall I say
is calling?

Whom? Oh, uh, Flintstone.
Fred Flintstone.

Oh, this way,
if you please.

- Mr. Flintstone?
- Yeah?

Will you please
get off my tails?

Oh. Ah, heh heh!
Sure.

Thank you.

Flintstone, what are you
doing in my house?

Hello, M-Mr. Slate, sir.

I-I've come
to ask a favor.

You've got a nerve
to barge in here

asking favors,
Flintstone.

It's for
a friend of mine.

He needs a job.

Needs a job?

Well, if he can
run your machine,

He's got a job.

No, Mr. Slate,
You don't understand.

I understand, alright.

I understand you're
getting out of here

right now, Flintstone!

Here comes Fred now.

I hope
He got me a job.

Hiya, folks.

Fred, how about the job?

Job? Oh, yeah, yeah, that.

It's in the bag.
You start tomorrow, Barney.

Hooray!

Oh,
That's wonderful.

I'm proud of you, Fred.

For he's a jolly good fellow,
for he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

wich nobody can deny

I can deny it.

Fred, Fred, get up!

You don't want Barney
late on his first morning.

I'm not going
to work today.

- I'm sick.
- You are not!

I am so. I'm sick
of Barney Rubble!

He's a troublemaker.

Come on, Fred.

Hiya, Fred.

Top of the morning
to you.

And what are you
doing in my house

this time of morning?

I don't want
to be late.

I give a full day's work
for a full day's pay.

- Out!
- But--but, Fred--

Out! Out! Out!

[thud]

And stay out!

Boy,
Fred's a sweet guy,

But he sure
gets up grouchy.

He's nowhere in sight.

I'll jump in the car fast
and zing away.

Hey, hey, Fred, wait!
You forgot me!

Ok, pull over.

We don't like

chipping out tickets, mister,

But there's been

too many accidents
lately.

Lucky you got a ticket, Fred.

[panting]

I never would
have caught you.

We'll still make it in time
to hit the old ball.

Oh, boy, this is going
to be one of those days.

Ok, Barney, there's
the main office.

But do me one favor.

Anything, Fred.

When you talk
to Mr. Slate,

don't mention my name.

Oh, of course not, Fred.

Slate speaking.

No, we're not hiring now.

Got too many employees
as it is. Good-bye!

Uh, Mr. Slate?

Yes, yes?
What do you want?

I'm here to go to work,
Mr. Slate.

From the size of
that lunch pail,

I'd say you were
here to eat.

I'm a hard worker,
Mr. Slate.

I've been working hard

Ever since i was a kid
up north in Granitetown.

Granitetown?
That's my hometown.

Small world,
Huh, Mr. Slate?

I left there when i was a kid.
We lived on Boulder Avenue.

Boulder Avenue?

That's where I lived.

We lived at 142 Boulder Avenue.

I lived at 140,

Right next to
my married sister.

Say, what's your name?

Rubble.
Barney rubble.

Little Barney!
my sister's boy!

After all these years!

Nephew!

Uncle? Uncle!

Oh, uh,
do I get a job, unc?

Now, Barney, as vice president
in charge of production,

You are an executive.

Oh, that's nice.

And you must conduct yourself
as one in all ways.

Will doo-de-doo-do,
uncle.

Oh! Never call me uncle.

It doesn't sound good
on the job.

Right. Got it, stranger.

Come along now.

I'll brief you on the image
an executive must project.

I always wanted to be
an executive.

Come on, come on.
Lift that rock. Tote that stone.

That's it.
Lift it! Lift it!

Huh. I do all the work,

and he gets paid for it.

That's it!

A flying rock!

Flying rock!

A flying rock!

Guess I'll check the gravel pit,
executivewise.

Fred.

Hi, Barney.
You look mad, Barney.

Didn't you get a job?

Yep, i did.

I am executive vice president
in charge of production.

Execu...

Executive
Vice president...

In charge
of production, huh?

That's a hot one.

Ha ha ha!

Flintstone.

Flintstone?
Flintstone?

Who are you trying
to Flintstone

around here?

Watch it, Flintstone.

Flintstone,
put Mr. Rubble down.

[Fred]
Mr. Rubble?

Yes. The executive
Vice president

In charge of production.

V-v-v-vice p-president
in ch-ch-ch-cha--

Flintstone, You're fired!

Oh, just a minute, J.S.

Let's give the poor guy
another chance.

Ok, B.R.

You handle it.
That's your department.

Now, Flintstone, hop to it
and get the rocks out.

Ok, Mr. Rubble.

I hate to be firm
with Fred,

but I've got to be
an executive.

Fred's too big a guy
to resent my good fortune.

Fred!

Sorry, Mr. Rubble,

but accidents can't
tell an executive

from a working stiff.

hmm hmm
Hmm hmm hmm hmm

hmm hmm hmm hmm

[door opens]

That you, Fred?

[door slams]

Fred's home, Dino!

[arr arr arr]

[growl]

Yipes!

[whimpering]

Fred, Betty and I

have been wondering
all day...

Did Barney get the job
You lined him up for?

[growl]

Well, no use
talking to him

while he's in that mood.

I'll go over to Betty's.

[growl]

Ask me again.

Go ahead, Wilma.
Ask me again.

Ok, Betty.
Did Barney get a job?

He didn't get a job.
He got a position.

Barney is vice president
In charge of production

And Fred's boss.

Boss?

Fred's boss.

Doesn't it seem funny,
Wilma?

Fred's been there so long,

And Barney makes it to
the top in just one day.

Funniest thing
I ever heard of.

I'll laugh
all the way home.

Fred! Fred Flintstone!

Yeah, Wilma?

Come here, Fred.
will you tell me

Why you'd get Barney
a vice president's job

instead of taking
the job yourself?

What job? I never
heard of it before.

They just made it up
this morning.

And that fathead rubble
walks right into it!

I don't get it!

It's going to be tough
listening to Betty brag.

[knock on door]

I'll see who it is.

Hi, Wilma.

Hi, Wilma.

Hi.

Hiya, Fred.

And you can
call me Barney.

We're not
on the job now, Fred.

Nothing's changed.

It's fred and Barney
around the house.

Why did you come over
Here tonight, Barney?

We thought you and Wilma
would like to go out

And celebrate my vice
Presidency, Flintstone--

I mean, Fred.

Mr. Rubble,
You're my boss, ok?

Act like one.

I do my work all day.

When the whistle blows,
I'm through,

And I don't want to see
any bosses

until the next day.

So, please, Mr. Rubble,
executive yourself out!

Uh, come on, Betty.

I told you we shouldn't
try to mix with the help.

You were so right.

Fred, I'm proud of you.

That stuff
burns me up.

So Barney was my buddy.
now he's my boss.

Ok, I'll go along
with that.

It's not gonna bother me
one little bit, Wilma.

Me, either.

We're the same two people
anyway, thank goodness Fred..

Hey, Flintstone!

Yes, Mr. Rubble?

Get back on your machine!
Get those rocks out!

Yes, sir, but the machine's
taking on water.

So I thought
I'd eat my lunch now.

That way, no time
is lost, Mr. Rubble.

Ok, Flintstone.
Good thinking.

Thanks, Mr. Rubble.

Fred's been
real distant all week.

He doesn't get mad
or anything,

But he's sure not
the same old Fred.

I know what
You mean, Barney.

Wilma hasn't been
the same either.

Fred sure has changed.

You know, Barney,

We should get out
with our own crowd,

Make friends with
the other executives.

Right, Betty.
Who needs the Flintstones?

Good thinking,
Barney.

You can make
good contacts

by joining
The executive Club here.

That's what we figured.

If you'd care to
join the ladies

In the garden room,
Betty,

I'll show Barney
where the boys play.

Ok. See you later.

What do the boys
do for fun here, J.S., bowling?

Heavens, no!

Chess is
The big game here.

Oh, sure sounds like
fun, fun, fun.

Oh, it is!

Go on in.

There's a tournament
going on.

Hey, any of you guys
want to shoot a game of pool?

[crash]

We got to face it, Betty.

We don't fit in
with this crowd.

You're not kidding.

We get along good

With people like
Fred and Wilma.

Not anymore.

That's because we've
acted like heels,

Throwing our weight
around.

It's not your fault
You have more on the ball

Than Fred, so they
made you Fred's boss.

Oh, that's a laugh.

I wouldn't
have the job at all

except mr. Slate
discovered he's my uncle.

Your uncle?

I thought you got the job
because you were brilliant.

Now, you should know
better than that.

I'm going to call Wilma
right away and tell her.

Maybe they'll forgive us.

I sure hope so.

No answer, Barney.
they must be out.

Yeah. Having a good time
like we all used to have.

Oh, Fred.

Yeah, what is it, Wilma?

This ball they gave me
is no good.

It's full of holes.

Full of holes?

Those holes are
supposed to be in it.

You put your fingers
in them, you numbskull.

Fred Flintstone!

[thud]

Ow! You dropped that ball
on my foot, you dimwit!

Fred, I won't have you
calling me names.

I went out with you
to be a companion to you,

But I won't stand
for that stuff.

Aw, I didn't
mean anything, Wilma.

It's just that when
a guy's out with his buddy,

He might call him
names in fun.

That's
the buddy system, huh?

Yeah. Ha ha ha!

Some of the names
I used to call Barney.

Oh, boy, but
Barney never got mad.

Ok, I get the idea.

You were going to
teach me to bowl.

Ok, fat stuff.

Fat stuff?

Don't get mad, buddy.

Ok, now,
do like I told you.

Try to let go of it
this time.

That's it!
Let go of it!

No, no!

[crash]

Fred, I knocked
all the pins down!

Yeah, you did,
but on his alley.

Now, watch closely

And I'll show you
how it's done.

First game, huh?

Ha ha ha!

Don't be such
a sorehead, Fred.

So I beat you bowling.

Big deal. Big deal.

If that's the way
You act when you lose,

No wonder Barney
won't be friends with you.

Fred, why did you stop?

I want to straighten you
out on something.

It was me
who decided to end

The so-called friendship
not Barney.

Whenever i see the guy,
I snub him.

Oh, yeah?

Then why is it you're
mentioning him all the time?

Barney this, Barney that.
Barney, Barney, Barney.

Here come
Fred and Wilma.

Yeah. I bet they had
a good time.

And another thing.
I don't want any more

Of that yelling,
"Barney, Barney, Barney!"

Uh, you called, Fred?

What do you want, Fred?

I want nothing from you,
Mr. Executive Rubble.

Oh, just call me Barney.

I'm not your boss anymore. I quit.

You quit?!

Yeah. Betty doesn't want me
working for relatives.

Of course
I forgive you, Betty.

Now I hope the boys

can patch up
their differences.

I don't know.
Fred can be pretty stubborn.

I know what you mean.

And i start to work
at my old job monday,

So there's no reason
we can't be friends again.

There is nothing
you can say

That will ever make me

friends with you
again, Mr. Rubble.

Uh, how about
going bowling, Fred?

We can play for
the 40 bucks you owe me, Fred.

Uh, 40 b-b-bucks?

Hmm. Looks like the boys
made up, Wilma.

In a big way.

Let's go,
Barney-buddy!

Right with you,
Freddy-boy.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Wilma?!

Wilma!

Come on, wilma!
Open this door!

Wilma!