The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 3, Episode 12 - Nuttin' But the Tooth - full transcript

Barney has a severe aching tooth that needs to be extracted. But Fred wants to avoid the dental bill by trying to pull the tooth loose himself. Then, Fred took Barney to a veterinarian office for ill pets (like Dino). Just as the veterinarian starts to inject gas into Barney, he is interrupted leaving Barney alone. Barney falls into a deep sleep from the additional gas and became airborne. Fortunately, Fred saw Barney float by and away. Fred quickly found Barney outside and floating in the air. After Fred lassos Barney and pulls him to the ground. Fred's quick jerk also removed Barney's aching tooth. With the additional gas inside Barney & knowing how long the gas will last, they get to see the boxing match & free of charge. Fred ties two ropes on to Barney, one at his feet and one at his shoulders, making Barney Rubble a temporary "Stone-Age hot-air blimp".

Alright, Barney.
Now, quit worrying.

When I peel out of here,
your tooth comes with me.

Who's w-w-w-Worrying?

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Guess that did it.

Barney!

What are you
tryin' to do,

Make me miss the fights?
Now, stand still.

[Squawk]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones



They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

[Snoring]

[Moaning]

Huh?

[Moaning]

Eek!



[Whimpering]

Uh...uhh...

Dino, what's the matter?

[Whimpers]

Oh, boy.
Some watchdog you are.

Scared of your own shadow.

[Moaning]

Wha-Wha-What was that?

Wilma, Wilma,
wake up, wake up!

Huh?
What is it, Fred?

I just heard
a funny noise.

You better get up
and see what it is.

Me?You heard a noise,

And you want me
to see what it is?

Of all the nerve.
You go see what it is.

Ok, ok.

I just thought maybe
you were interested.

Besides, it's probably
nothing to worry about.

[Moaning]

On second thought,

Maybe there is something
to worry about.

Quick, Wilma!
Call the police.

Wilma:
oh, stop clowning, Fred.

I'll get to the bottom
of this.

[Moaning]

Sounds like it's coming
from the rubbles' house.

Fred: the rubbles?

Well, this is
a fine time of night

For them
to pick a fight.

Why can't people
get along nicely,

Like we do?

[Moaning]

That's Barney!
Sounds like he's in pain.

Poor guy. He must've
got in awful late.

[Ring]

Wilma: now, who would that be
calling at this time?

Hello?

Oh, hello, Betty.
Is something wrong?

Uh-Huh. Oh, I'm sorry
to bother you, Wilma,

But Barney has
a terrible toothache.

Ohh! Ohh!

Can I borrow
your ice bag?

Sure, Betty.
Be right over.

What's wrong, Wilma?

Barney has
a toothache...

and I'm taking him
an ice bag.

Gee, thanks, Wilma.
I feel better already.

Maybe you could
drive Barney

To the dentist in
the morning, Fred.

Sure. I'd be glad to.

We'd better go now and let
Barney get some rest.

Yeah. Well,
goodnight, Barney,

And, uh, keep cool, pal.
Heh heh heh heh!

Yeah. Right, Fred.
Goodnight.

[Door slams]

Now, try and get
some sleep, dear.

Sleep? Oh, yeah.

I think I will try
to catch a few winks.

[Yawning]

[Thud]

[Snoring]

[Screech]

Hey, Barney!
Let's go, pal!

[Honk honk]

You don't want
to be late

For your coming-Out
party, do you?

Ha ha ha ha!

Well, this is it,
Barney.

"D-Day" for dentist day.

Honest, Betty,
I don't think I should go.

My toothache is,
uh, is gone.

I feel fine.

Oh, don't pull that on me.

You go see the dentist.

What are you doing,
Barney,

Writing a will?!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, gosh. Maybe I should.

Don't be silly.

Now, get going.
Fred is waiting.

What's the matter,
Barney?

You chicken?

Who, me?

Well, uh, to tell
the truth, Fred...

bawk! Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk!
Buk-Awk!

Heh heh heh.

You got nothing
to worry about, pal.

Nowadays all dentists
are painless.

Painless?

Yeah, they never
feel a thing.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, boy.
You're a great help.

[Screech]

Hey, Barney,
look at that sign.

[Fred reading]

Oh, boy. Would I love
to see that.

Oh, me, too.

Hey, I heard they're
using 6-Pound clubs.

Say, uh, Barney,

Mind if I ask you
a question?

Sorry, Fred.
I'm broke.

Oh, boy. Some pal
you turned out to be.

Always broke when it comes
to helping a friend.

I'd like to help you,

But I only got 10 bucks
for the dentist.

10 bucks?

[Screech]

Barney, with 10 bucks,

We could get a couple of
ringside-Seat tickets.

But what about
my toothache, Fred?

That's easy. I just
gotta figure a way

To pull your tooth
for nothing.

Um, there's only
one thing wrong

With your figuring, Fred.

What's that?

I won't be here.

Wait a minute!

What's the matter?
Don't you trust me?

Frankly, uh...no.

I don't mind you pulling
my leg once in a while,

But I'm kind of touchy
about my teeth.

Look, Barney,

Have I ever pulled
your tooth before?

Well, uh, no, Fred.

Then how do you know
it's gonna hurt?

Because it hurts
just thinking about it.

Alright, Barney.
Now, quit worrying.

When I peel out of here,
your tooth comes with me.

Who's w-W-W-Worrying?

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Guess that did it.

Barney! What are you
tryin' to do,

Make me miss the fights?
Now, stand still.

Uh, my tooth
didn't come out, Fred.

Never mind. Let's get
back to the house.

I got another idea.

Good. Wilma isn't home.

You stay put, Barney.
I'll be right out.

Come on, Dino. I got
a little job for you.

Dino: arr arr arr!

Just think, Barney--

If it wasn't
for your toothache,

We'd probably
miss the fight tonight.

Yeah. I guess
I'm pretty lucky, huh?

You're lucky
you got a friend like me.

Heh heh heh!

Here we are, Dino.
You are all set.

Arr arr arr arr!

You know, if this works,

I may even open
an office of my own.

Hey, what's
the cat for, Fred?

Never mind, Barney.

Yours is not
to question why.

Yours is
but to do or--

Now, what's the rest
of that saying?

D-D-Die?

Go get him, Dino!

Arr arr arr arr!

Uh, I can't do it,
Fred.

Here. You take it.

Hold it, Dino! You got
the wrong man! Hold it!

Arr arr arr!

Heel, boy! Heel!
Heel, boy! Heel!

Arr arr arr!

Arr arr arr!

Whoa! Ow!

[Grunting]

Stop it! Stop it!

Come on, Dino.
Stop! Stop!

Arr arr arr arr!

Oof!

Hey, Fred!
You alright?

Gee, did you
get flattened!

[Pop]

Oh, boy.

Golly, Fred.

Can't we just go
to a cheap dentist?

Whoever heard
of a cheap dentist

Short of
a dinosaur dentist?

Hey, wait a minute.

I think you got
something there,

Barney-Boy.

What's the difference
between a dinosaur dentist

And a regular dentist,
Fred?

About 5 bucks,
which still leaves us

Enough for a couple of
cheap seats

To see the fight.

Ah, here we are,

"Smiley molar,
dinosaur dentist."

He's a genius--

Pulled Dino's
baby teeth.

I never heard
of dr. Molar, Fred.

So what? Whoever heard
of thomas edistone

Before he invented
the rowboat?

I thought edistone
invented the candle.

Shows how much you know
about agriculture.

Come on.

Excuse me, miss.

Do you still have
the $5 extraction special?

Oh, yes.

Will that be cash
or dinos' club card?

Uh, cash. My friend
with the toothache

Will pay for it.

You know, heh,

We don't get many
like him in here.

We usually work
on dinosaurs.

Just tell the doctor
we're here, will you?

I'll call him
on the intercom.

Oh, doctor?

A live one
just arrived.

Awk! Oh, doctor,
a live one just arrived.

Awk!

Oh, yes. Fine, fine.

Send him in.
Send him in.

Awk! Oh, yes.
Fine, fine.

Send him in.
Send him in. Awk!

The doctor
will see you now.

Go ahead, Barney,
and make it snappy.

I'll wait out here.

Hey, uh, I got
a better idea, Fred.

You go in,
and I'll wait out here.

Go on. Quit stalling.

Oh, my. Yes, yes.

That tooth definitely
must come out.

Yes, indeed.

W-W-Will it hurt, doc?

Hurt?
Oh, of course not.

I use only
the most modern

Scientific
anesthetics.

[Bubbling]

I'll give you some gas,

And you'll be off
to dreamland

In a couple of seconds.

Now just breathe deeply.

[Inhaling deeply]

[Telephone rings]

Oh, dear.
It's the phone.

Excuse me.
I'll be right back.

You just keep breathing.

Oh, hello, dear.

Um, stop at the store
for a loaf of bread.

Mm-Hmm. Gotcha.

And a pound of butter?
Yes, yes. Go on.

2 dozen dodo eggs,

Some seaweed
and a head of lettuce,

28 pounds
of brontosaurus steak,

And box of crackers,

4 gallons of milk,

Pterodactyl pudding,
and some tea.

Right. Ha ha ha!

Uh, say, honey,

How about if I do
the shopping this week

And you pull
the teeth? Hmm?

Oh, there goes
another one.

We lose more
patients that way.

[Snoring]

Wonder what's
taking Barney so long.

If he didn't have the 10 bucks,
I wouldn't even wait.

That's funny.

That guy that floated by
looks just like Barney.

Hey, that is Barney!

What the heck
is he tryin' to pull?

Barney, where are you?

Barney!

[Snoring]

Keep calm, pal.
I'll save you.

Uh, oh, nurse,

Did you see my patient?

Uh-Huh. He just
floated out the door.

Oh, shucks.

That's the third one
we lost this week.

Ah, well.

Send in the next patient,
please.

Come on, hector.
The doctor won't hurt you.

[Whimpering]

Slow down, Barney.
Slow down.

Try coming in
for a landing.

[Snoring]

Ohh, boy.
Why do I let him

Get me into situations
like this?

Wake up, Barney!
Wake up!

Hey, you.
Wake up. Wake up!

Ohh, my head.

What happened, officer?

You were looking up
in the air

And ran right into
this tree.

Now, what's
so interesting up there?

Barney! Where did he go?
Where did he go?

Where did who go?

Officer, did you see
a little guy float by?

- Was he about this big?
- Yeah.

- Blond hair?
- Yeah, that's right.

Was he traveling south?

Yeah, yeah!

Sure, he went by.

As a matter of fact,
a whole flock

Of little blond guys
flew by.

Must be heading south
for the winter, eh?

No, no. Look,
it's no gag, officer.

This guy is full of gas.

You sure
you ain't gassed?

Now, just stay calm.
We'll find him.

Hello, sarge?

I got a real,
uh, psycho for you.

Yeah, he sees
floating guys.

Mm-Hmm. Yeah.

Completely unraveled,
the whole bit.

You better get the wagon
down right away.

Fred: there he is, officer.
He just flew out of a cloud!

[Snoring]

Yoo-Hoo! Barney!
I found you!

Never mind, officer.

I can take it
from here.

I'm coming, pal!

Hey, sarge, is that
psycho stuff contagious?

I think I saw a guy
floating by, too.

Uh-Oh. He's floating
right into that building.

Woman: aah!

Man: what's the matter,
mildred?

A man just flew by.

Oh, knock it off.

Come on, Barney.

I got no time
for chasing after you.

Now get down here
and stop fooling around.

Hey, what the--
Who the--

Hey, Fred, where am I?
What am I doing up here?

Don't ask me.

I was sitting in the office
minding my own business,

And you floated
right out the door.

Oh, I get it.

The dentist must've
given me too much gas.

Hey, mister,
how much you want

For that
talking kite?

It ain't no talking kite.
It's a flying man.

Now scram, sonny.

Go play on the freeway
or something, huh?

Boy, what a grouch.

Barney: - Hey, Fred.
- Now what?

What a view.
It's breathtaking.

Will you knock it off?

Where are we going,
Fred?

I'm taking you
back to the dentist

And get you deflated.

Uh-Oh, Fred.

What's with
the "uh-Oh, Fred"?

You'd better fasten
your safety belt.

Huh?

We're gaining altitude.

Now look at the fix
you got us in.

Do me a favor,
will you, pal?

Next time you get
a toothache,

Have someone else
take you to the dentist.

Aah! Help!
A peeping tom!

Y-Y-Y-You got it
all wrong, l-L-Lady.

M-M-My name is Fred.

Help!
A peeping Fred!

[Thud]

Oh, boy.

These new rock purses
are murder.

Hey, Fred,
what are you doing?

I'm taking my afternoon nap.
What else?

This ain't no time
to take a snooze.

You gotta do something.

I'm stuck
under this ledge!

Ok, don't move.

Boy, how does he get me
into these things anyway?

Can you hear me,
Barney?

Loud and clear.

Alright. I'll give
you a hand.

Don't applaud, Fred.
Just throw money.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, boy.
Everybody's a comedian.

Alright, Barney.
Where are you?

Right here, Fred.

Can you get
a good grip on my arm?

Well, I don't know.

It's kinda fat
and pudgy.

Oh, you...

gee, Fred,
you saved my life.

Mwah!

Oh, cut it out,
Barney.

I got to get you
back to the--

Hey! Come back here!

Come back!

Gosh, Fred I never been
this high before.

I'm getting dizzy.

Barney, I got a good mind
to walk out on you.

I wouldn't try it,
Fred.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

What are you laughing at?
We're in a real jam.

I know, Fred.

But I can't help
laughing.

Your hand
is tickling my foot.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Well, cut it out.
We're in real trouble.

Uh, sorry, Fred.
You're right.

This ain't
no laughing matter.

Let's just remain calm

And figure a way
out of this.

Right, Fred.

What was that?

Search me.

Looks like
2 humans.

Humans don't fly.

I know,

But you asked me,
and I told you

It looks like
2 humans.

Ah, it couldn't be.

Nah. I guess
you're right.

Hey, Fred, I just
thought of something.

Yeah? Yeah? What is it?

What happens
when the gas wears off?

Barney, think of
something pleasant.

We'll worry
about that later.

Ok.

"What happens
when the gas wears off?"

Shee!

- Hey, uh, Fred.
- Yeah?

Here comes one of
those new jet jobs.

Hey, george,
do you see what I see?

If you mean 2 guys
floating up this way,

Yeah, I see it,
I see it.

Uh, do you think
we ought to report it?

Nothing doing.

They still think
we're a little nuts

For reporting those
flying saucers.

Yeah, why ask for trouble?

You know, Barney,

I never thought
we'd go this way.

Well, at least
we're heading

In the right direction.

Observation tower
calling fighter control.

I see an unidentified
flying object over bedrock.

U.F.O. At
12 o'clock high, general.

Prepare
to intercept u.F.O.

Alert all battle
stations, sergeant.

Yes, sir.

[Tapping out morse code]

Well, you got to admit,
it sounds good anyway.

Attention! Attention!

Pilots, man your planes!

Pilots, man your planes!

[Fwee]

Prepare to launch
interceptor missiles.

Fire one.

Fire 2.

Fire 3.

Fire 4.

Hey, Fred, someone's
shooting at us.

Why, whatever gave you
that idea?

Hey, look, Fred.

Here comes
the air force.

Be calm, Barney.
Just act natural.

Pilot to headquarters.

Have sighted
unidentified flying object.

It's just a couple of
civilian joy riders

Out on a lark.

Suggest you hold fire.

Roger.

Alright, men.
Cease fire.

Hold your fire, men.

Sorry, sarge.
That one got away.

Look out, Barney!

Here comes another boulder.

I got it!

Yeow!

Let go of the rock, Barney!
Let go of that--

[Crash]

Hey, Fred, look!
My tooth got knocked out.

I'm all choked up
about it.

Oh, no! Not again!

Let's get back in the car.

I've had enough of this
making like a bird.

What are you gonna
do now, Fred?

Just leave everything
to me, Barney.

I know what I'm doing.
I got both feet

Planted on the ground
at all times.

Could be, Fred,
but right now,

You got both feet
planted firmly in midair.

Heh heh heh heh!

"Heh heh heh heh!"

Will you shut up
and let me think?

I'm sorry, Fred.

Heh heh heh heh heh!

Wilma, I'm worried.

I haven't heard a word
from Barney all morning.

Relax, Betty.

The boys will be back
from the dentist

Any minute now.
You'll see.

Hey, Fred, look.

I can see my house
down there from up here.

Take a good look.

You might never
see it again.

Oh, good.
Here they come now.

Yoo-Hoo! Barney!
How's your tooth?

Hello, Fred.

Fred!

Barney!

What are you two
doing up there?

Looking for a cloud
with a silver lining.

What else?

If it wasn't
Fred and Barney,

I wouldn't believe it.

Fred Flintstone,

You come down
this very instant.

Now, why didn't I
think of that?

Hey, uh, how about
that old fishing anchor

You have in the back,
huh, Fred?

Hey! That's
a good idea, Barney.

I'll toss it out,

And we can climb
down the rope.

Boy, I'm glad
I thought of that.

I got to hand it
to you, Fred,

Beneath all that blubber
lies a nimble brain.

[Thud]

There. We're anchored.

After you, Barney.
Just grab the rope

And slide down
to the ground. Got it?

Gotcha, Fred.

Uh-Oh!

[Crash]

Sorry, Fred!

I guess I should've
let you out first, huh?

Barney, I don't know why
I stay friends with you!

This is just great.
I gotta miss the fights

Because bubblehead can't keep
his feet on the ground.

Oh, shush, Fred.

Betty's talking
to the dentist.

But dr. Molar, isn't there
anything you can do?

It's awfully awkward
this way.

Uh-Huh. Well, ok.
Thank you, doctor.

Good-Bye.

He says we'll
just have to wait

Until the gas wears off.

But that could take forever!
We'll miss the fights!

I was kind of up in the air
about that anyway, Fred.

Heh heh heh heh!

"Heh heh heh heh!"
Oh, very amusing.

Hey, wait a minute.

Up in the air.

Barney, you're a genius.

No kidding.

And I did not even
finish high school.

Here, grab your rock.
We're going to the fights.

We are?

That is, if it's ok

With the war department.
Heh heh heh.

Oh, you mean
Wilma and Betty?

- It's ok with me.
- Me, too.

But I sure hope you know
what you're doing.

Fred: yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Come on, Barney! Let's go.

Well, here we are
at the bedrock bowl, Fred.

And with the best
cushioned seats

In the house.

Oh, I don't know, Fred.
I ain't so comfortable.

What are you
complaining about?

You not only got rid
of your toothache,

But we see the fight
for nothing.

Oh, yeah?
I guess you're right.

Come on, rocky,
let him have it!

Give him the old one-Two!
Come on, boy!

Give it to him, rocky!

Go, floyd!

Ha ha!
Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred
will win the fight

Then that cat will
stay out for the night

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!