The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 2, Episode 5 - Fred Flintstone Woos Again - full transcript

Sure looks like Wilma
don't scare easy, Fred.

We've been
waiting 15 minutes

and she ain't rushed out
looking for you yet.

Poor Fred, still out there
waiting for you

to come running over
and make up.

Good. I've got an idea that's
gonna make Fred a model husband.

[honking]

Hey, buddy. Uh, is this where
Wilma Flintstone lives?

- 'Yeah.'
- Thanks a lot.

- Uh, who's that, Fred?
- Psyches me.

Well, whoever it is



he's got a box of candy
and some flowers with him.

Hey, you, just where
do you think you're goin'

with that candy
and those flowers?

I'm gonna give them
to Wilma Flintstone

if it's any of your business.

Well, I'm makin' it my business

and you're not givin'
them to Wilma Flintstone.

- 'Says who?'
- Says me.

clang

[theme music]

[whistles]

[siren blaring]

screech

[music continues]



crash

wham

muah

Extended light hour, Barney.

If we hurry we can get an
hour on the driving range.

Right, Fred.
I'll ask Betty if I can go.

What do you mean
ask her? Tell her.

'I'll meet you
out here in five minutes.'

Okay, Fred.

Hey, Wilma.
Get my golf clubs ready.

'Me and Barney are gonna hit a
bucket of balls before dinner.'

[whining]

[barking]

(Wilma)
'Oh, alright, Dino.
I'll open the door for you.'

Go ahead.
Say hello to daddy.

[barking]

swoosh

wham

[laughing]

Fooled you that time, Dino.

crash

crash

[barking]

Wilma. Wilma, do something!

Alright, Dino.
Daddy loves you too.

Let him get up now.

[laughing]

(Fred)
'There, bowling ball,
tennis racquet.'

Alright. Alright,
Wilma, where are they?

- Where's what, Fred?
- 'My golf clubs, that's what.'

They're exactly
where you dropped them

last time you played golf.

Under the dining room table.

Oh. Uh, thanks.

Fred, I just realized
why I married you.

'Yeah? Why, honey?'

You're so thoughtful.

You wouldn't dream of
interrupting me when you come

home from work by kissing me
or saying hello.

Now, what's bugging you?

Look, Wilma, if you had
a hard day at the Laundromat

don't take it out on me.

Oh, please forgive me. I didn't
mean to hurt your feelings.

'Okay. But watch it.'

I'll be back in an hour.

Goody!

That'll give me just enough time
to scrub the floor

and dust the furniture
while I keep your dinner warm.

Sounds like a good idea, Wilma.

One more thing, darling.

Wilma, it's getting dark.
What do you want?

Would you like your dinner
served in front of the TV

when you get back?

Okay, that way I can listen
to the news while I eat

instead of reading the paper.

Wonderful!

Now, I have one final
thing to say, Fred.

Oh, come on, Wilma.
Come on.

You can't drive golf balls
in the dark. What is it?

One of these days,
Fred Flintstone

you're gonna come
home from work

and yell, "Wilma,"
but Wilma won't hear you

because Wilma won't be here.

I know what's wrong.

You're irritated
because you had an argument

with the butcher, right?

Wrong.

'Well, then
the grocery boy, right?'

Wrong.

Well, oh, look, we will talk
about it when I get back.

Really, Fred?

You mean, we'll sit around
after dinner and talk

like we used to when
we were first married?

Ooh, that argument
with the butcher

must've made you lose
your memory, Wilma.

You know tonight's
the semifinals

in the bowling tournament.

Oh, I give up.

Women, sheesh!

Let me have
a ball, Barney.

Sure, Fred.
Here you are.

Now, uh, how do these
automatic things work?

Oh, you just step on that
lever by your foot, Fred

and the tee will pop up.

You mean like this?

boing

Hey, that's pretty good, Barney.

'Beats puttin' a new tee
in the ground all the time.'

Four!

[whizzing]

Boy, what a shot! Let's
see you top that one, Barney.

(Barney)
'Okay, pal.'

'Keep your eye
on the ball, Freddy boy.'

Well, it's a living, ain't it?

Not bad, Barney.

If you bowl like that,
you'll have the old arm

in shape
for bowling tonight.

Oh, I ain't
going tonight, Fred.

I'm staying home with Betty.

What's the matter,
she sick or something?

Oh, no, Fred. I, uh, just been
going out too much lately.

I think you ought to
stay home too, Fred.

You mean give up
my bowling night?

You must be
the one that's sick.

Well, Betty told me that Wilma
is very upset with you, Fred.

Upset with me?
What for?

I've been so busy every night,
I hardly even talk to her.

Maybe that's
why she's upset, Fred.

You take her
too much for granted.

Well, maybe I have been
neglecting her a little lately.

I'll straighten
it out when I get home.

Attaboy, Fred.
Oh, she'll feel better.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll, uh, pay her a few
compliments, flatter her a bit

tell her the usual things
a wife likes to hear.

Oh, what's that, Fred?

Oh, you know,
how great she cooks

how nice she cleans the house.
Stuff like that.

I don't think
it'll work, Fred.

'Are you kiddin'?'

All wives love to hear
their husbands tell them

how hard she works
around the house.

Hey, we better get going

I gotta be at the bowling
alley in an hour.

Hey, Fred, uh,
I've been thinking.

Yeah?

I've been thinking, Fred,
uh, Wilma's mad at you

because you don't take her
any place anymore.

Barney, I'd be
glad to take her places

but she don't like bowlin'.

- She can't play golf.
- 'Yeah.'

And the fellas don't allow
women in the P Knuckle game.

Well, uh, how about
taking her some place

uh, she'd like to go, Fred?

'Huh?'

Wilma's always telling Betty
what a wonderful time

she had at Rock Mountain Inn,
where you once took her.

I had to take her there,
it was our honeymoon.

Okay, okay, Fred, uh,
I was just suggestin'.

Hey, I got an idea.
Got a great idea.

Yeah, Fred. What?

I could take her there
on a second honeymoon.

'Ooh, now you're talking, Fred.
She'll love that.'

Yeah, yeah.
We'll go this weekend.

I gotta hand it to you, Fred.

When you get an idea,
you don't waste any time.

You know, Barney, there's
one thing I'll always remember

about our honeymoon.

Ah, what's that, Fred?

[sighs]
The great fishin' they had
at the Rock Mountain Inn.

[laughing]

I tell you, Betty,
I just didn't believe it

until I heard him
call for reservations.

Yeah, and wasn't
it sweet of Fred

to talk Barney
into taking me too?

Hmm, the old dear, I'll never
doubt Fred's love again.

After all, how many husbands
are romantic enough

'to take their wives
on a second honeymoon?'

Oh, gee, Fred.

I feel kinda funny
going along on your honeymoon.

Well, why should you,
Barney boy?

After all,
you're my best friend.

Yeah.

And besides, Wilma and Betty
will have a ball together

while we go fishing.

screech

Well, there it is, Wilma.
The old Rock Mountain Inn.

Hasn't changed
a bit, has it?

[giggles]

Oh, I wonder if the desk
clerk will remember us?

After 15 years, nah.

Well, it's you again.

So, how do you do,
Mrs. Flintstone?

You look exactly like you did
about 15 years ago, wasn't it?

[giggles]

That's right and thank you
for the compliment.

Yes, yeah, but who's
the fat guy with you?

I don't remember him.

Fat guy, why you!

I'm Fred Flintstone,
her husband.

Indeed. My, my.

Well, Mr. Flintstone, you look
like you've been living off

the, uh, he ha ha,
fat of the land for 15 years.

One more crack like that and
you'll be livin' with a fat lip.

Now, let's cut out the comedy
and show us to our rooms.

You've made reservations
of course?

Of course.

Mr. and Mrs. Flintstone
and Mr. and Mrs. Rubble.

Flintstone
and Rubble. Oh, yes.

And are you lucky.

You got the last two
cottages in the place.

The last two?
You only got two cottages.

Yes, how about that?

I don't know
what it is, Fred

but there seems
to be something missing.

(Wilma)
'There's the same tree.'

Yep, he he.
I carved our initials into it.

And there's
the same garden.

I picked your
first bouquet from there.

(Wilma)
'And you had to pay a fine
for picking the flowers.'

[Fred and Wilma laughing]

Everything looks the same.

- It just doesn't feel the same.
- It feels the same to me.

The only thing that's different
from the last time is that

we stopped at the Justice of
the Peace first to get married.

That's it.
That's what's missing.

Fred, why don't
we get married again?

Ha ha. That would be
so romantic.

Yeah, kinda sentimental like.

screech

Now, just
a cotton-pickin' minute.

A second honeymoon is okay

but a second marriage ceremony

is absolutely, positively
out and that's final.

"Justice of The Peace
And Coffee Shop."

"2nd Ceremony
And 2nd Cup Free."

Coffee must be to keep you
awake during the ceremony.

[laughing]

That's right,
the second ceremony is free.

But that's providing, you
have the reception here.

Never mind,
I'll pay the two bucks.

- Let's get it over with.
- 'Oh, what's the name, please?'

Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Flintstone, Flintstone.

Oh, yes, here we are.

Say, were you married
the first time by Judge Wedrock?

Yeah. Is he in?

[chuckles]
I'll say he's in.
For about seven years.

He never did have a license
to perform marriage ceremonies

'and they threw
the book at him.'

In that case, we were
never really married.

Oh, this is
your lucky day, miss.

Never mind,
the wisecracks, buddy.

Just get us the license to sign
and marry us right now.

Betty, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

Wilma, you wouldn't dare.

[giggling]

Oh, wouldn't I?

If he really loves me,
let him prove it.

[giggling]

It's a wonderful
opportunity to find out.

Right, come on.
Let's get outta here.

Okay, Wilma, your turn
to sign on the dotted line.

Wilma?

Hey, where did
everybody go?

I think you got
left at the church, Fred.

Wilma, come back here.

Hey, Fred, wait for me.

(Fred)
'She shouldn't
have done it, Barney.'

'She should've
signed those papers.'

And then locking me
outta my own cottage

like that is ridiculous.

I don't care what that guy says.

As far as I'm concerned,
we're still married.

You oughta try and get
some sleep, Fred.

Sleep?

Would you sleep if you found out
your wife is still single?

Wilma's just having a few
laughs. She really loves you.

And tomorrow morning, the whole
thing will be straightened out.

You really think so, Barney?

- 'Sure, Fred.'
- Yeah.

Maybe, I'm losing
my sense of humor. He he.

It is kinda funny
when you think of it.

Yeah.

Imagine me spending my second
honeymoon with Barney Rubble.

Yeah. He he.
That's funny.

Yeah, very funny.
E-ek!

Honestly, Wilma. Don't you
think you're going too far?

After all, Fred does love you.

I know he does, Betty.

But I'm going to take this
opportunity to make him show it.

How, Wilma?

By forcing him to act like
he did before we were married.

Oh. Ha ha. If it works,
maybe I'll try it on Barney.

Goodnight, Wilma.

Goodnight, Betty.

[snoring]

Wake up, boys,
it's morning.

Ah, oh, yeah.

- Good morning, honey.
- 'Hurry up, Fred.'

I thought we'd stop by
at the Justice of the Peace

before breakfast. Betty
and I'll wait in the car.

Okay, Wilma.

Hey, Fred, see how
anxious she is now.

I told you she was
just joking last night.

Yeah, she must've got
a big laugh out of it.

Well, let's see
how funny it is when

I refuse to sign
on the dotted line.

That was quite a gag
you pulled last night, Wilma.

He he. You sure
got a sense of humor.

Can't you drive
a little faster, Fred?

What's the hurry, Wilma?

There's plenty of time
to sign the license.

Sign what license, Fred?

I left my compact
there yesterday

and I'd like
to pick it up and go home.

But, Fred, uh, who's gonna know
except me and Betty?

We won't tell nobody.

I will not do it
and I do mean not

N-O-T-T, nott.

I will not telephone
my own house

and ask my own wife
for a date.

Oh, Betty, are you sure

that's what Wilma told you
to tell Fred?

Absolutely.

Wilma says if Fred
wants to marry her

he can prove it by acting like
any man who's in love with her.

Well, I ain't any man.

- 'That's what Wilma said.'
- I'm her husband.

(Betty)
'Wilma says she can
prove that you're not.'

Wilma says this,
Wilma says that!

What about what Fred says?

Wilma says I shouldn't
pay any attention to that.

Go ahead and call her, Fred.
What's the harm?

(Fred)
'Oh, oh, alright.'

Hello, Wilma.
'Yeah, who is this?'

Oh, come on!
You know who this is.

Your voice sounds familiar.

Is it Tom, Dick, Marvin?

(Fred on phone)
'No, it isn't Tom, Dick,
Marvin. It's Fred.'

Fred, do I know a Fred?

Oh, you must be
Fred Flintstone.

That does it!
I ain't goin' through with it.

Oh, come on, Fred.
Ah, you went this far.

Just ask her for a date.

I'm warning you, Barney

if you ever mention this
to anybody, so help me, I'll--

Word of honor, Fred.
Word of honor. Nobody will know.

[phone ringing]

(Wilma)
'Hello.'

Er, ahem.
This is Fred Flintstone.

Uh, you wanna have
dinner with me tonight?

Oh, I don't know if I can.

I have an appointment
with the dentist.

'You're having dinner
with the dentist?'

No, silly, but I'll postpone
the appointment until tomorrow.

I'd love to have
dinner with you.

Okay, I'll be right over.

'And, Fred, I just know
you're going to surprise me'

'with flowers
and a box of rock candy.'

Flowers and rock candy?

Wilma, you know
I don't like rock candy.

'Goodbye, Freddy,
see you in an hour.'

Okay, okay, I'll bring
flowers and rock candy.

[knocking]

Open up, Wilma.
It's me, Fred.

[barking]

[snarling]

What's the matter with you,
Dino? It's me, daddy.

[snarling continues]

Benedict Arnold.

(Wilma)
'Oh, hello, Fred.
Come on in.'

Thank you.

[door closes]

Oh, so nice of you
to remember

I like flowers
and rock candy, Fred.

Okay, you got what
you wanted. Now, let's eat.

What are we havin'
for dinner, Wilma?

'I won't know
until I see a menu.'

A menu?

Of course,
where are you taking me?

I'm taking you right
into the kitchen, that's where.

What's with this menu bit?

Well, you invited
me to dinner, remember?

The Paradise Nightclub
would be fine.

We could dance
after we finish eating.

Oh, you feel
like dancing, do you?

- Um-hm.
- Well, I feel like dancing too.

Did you ever see me doing
off the buffalo?

- I don't think so, Fred.
- 'Well, watch this.'

[upbeat music]

'Goodnight, Wilma.'

Bringing candy and flowers
was bad enough.

But invitin' me over
to dinner and expecting me

to take her to The Paradise Club
to eat, that's too much.

I think you're being
too sensitive, Fred.

[phone ringing]

- I'll get it.
- I bet that's Wilma.

(Fred)
'Yeah, ready to apologize.'

Hello.

[Wilma mumbling]

Oh, yes, he's here, Wilma.

[Wilma mumbling]

Okay, I'll tell him.

Well, well,
what did she say?

She's sorry, huh?

'She didn't say
anything about you, Fred.'

Wilma wants me to ask
Barney if he could use

an extra bowling ball.

What, give my
bowling ball away?

(Fred)
'Well, that's the straw
that broke the camel's back.'

You tell Wilma,
I am moving into a hotel.

And if she wants to apologize,
she can come look for me.

Alright, Fred.
I'll tell her.

Are you sure you know
what you're doing, pal?

Of course, I do, Barney.

Come on, come on,
let's watch this.

'Okay, Fred.'

I wanna see the expression
on Wilma's face

when Betty tells
her what I said.

[laughing]

Really, Wilma, I think
maybe you're being

too rough
on poor, old Fred.

Betty, you know
I love poor, old Fred.

And I wouldn't
hurt him for anything.

But I don't wanna miss
this chance to show him

how inconsiderate
he's been lately.

Well, Fred may have
his faults but he does love you.

I can see 'em
talking, Barney.

But I can't hear
what they're saying.

Watch this, Barney.

Wait till you see Wilma's face
when she hears what I said.

Look, Fred.
They're laughing.

Betty must be
telling her a joke.

Wait till she tells
her I'm leaving.

[Wilma and Betty laughing]

They're still laughing, Fred.

Is she gonna stand there
all day telling her jokes?

Poor, Fred, still
out there waiting for you

to come running
over and make up.

Good. I've got an idea that's
gonna make Fred a model husband.

How, Wilma?

'I'm going to bring
a little green-eyed monster'

'into the picture.'

Hello, is this The Rodphile
Confectionary Parlor?

'This is Wilma Flintstone'

I'd like to have
a five pound box

of rock candy
delivered immediately.

Well, our regular
delivery boy went home.

But I'll see
that you get it, lady.

Uh, what's the address?
Uh-huh, I got it.

Hey, Rocky,
you can clean up later

I want you to make
a rush delivery for me.

Okay, boss.

Sure looks like Wilma
don't scare easy, Fred.

We've been
waiting 15 minutes

and she ain't rushed out
looking for you yet.

Well, she's probably
all broken up.

[honking]

Hey, buddy. Uh, is this where
Wilma Flintstone lives?

(Fred)
'Yeah, that's right.'

Thanks a lot.

- Uh, who's that, Fred?
- Psyches me.

Well, whoever it is

he's got a box of candy
and some flowers with him.

'And I don't think
they're for you, Fred.'

(Fred)
'And they're not
for Wilma either.'

Hey, you,
hold it a minute, mister.

Just where do you think
you're goin' with that candy

'and those flowers?'

I'm gonna give
them to Wilma Flintstone

if it is
any of your business.

Well, I'm making it
my business

and you're not givin'
them to Wilma Flintstone.

- Oh, no?
- No!

- 'Says who?'
- Says me.

clang

[groans]
Oh, wha-what happened, Barney?

Why have I got this Brontosaurus
steak on my face?

Where am I?

Oh, in answer
to your question, Fred

one, you got clobbered.

Two, you got a black eye.

And three,
you're in my house.

- How do you feel, Fred?
- Awful. How do I look?

'Awful.'

Oh, it's no use, Barney.
I give up.

I have been treating Wilma

pretty shabby lately
and I know it.

- 'I'm ashamed of myself.'
- Oh, gee, Fred.

If you'd told Wilma
that in the first place, uh

this never would've happened.

Well, I'm goin' home
and tell her right now.

It's no use, Betty.

The candy and the flowers
didn't get a rise out of Fred.

I admit defeat
and I'm going over

and tell Fred right now.

Hello, Wilma.

Fred! What happened to your eye?

Ah, never mind that.

Wilma, I came
over to apologize

for making you do
all those things

just to show me
how stupid I am.

Oh, Fred dear.

You're not really stupid.

Don't argue with me, Wilma.
When I'm stupid, I'm stupid.

Alright, honey,
anything you say.

- 'Wilma?'
- Yes, Fred?

Will you..

Will you marry me again?

Of course, dear.

As many times as you like.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

You hear that, Barney?

Come on, everybody,
start packing.

We're leaving to
The Rock Mountain Inn right now.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Well, checking out already,
Mrs. Flintstone?

Checking out?
We're checking in.

How about that, you look
exactly like a couple

who checked in yesterday.

Look, Fred, there's
that new Justice of the Peace.

Yeah, that's him.

Imagine a man like
him sweeping floors.

(Fred)
'Oh, the marrying business
must be falling off.'

And, what's wrong
with sweeping floors?

It happens to be his job.

His job, but he's
the Justice of the Peace.

Stonewall? Oh, no, no.

Judge Wedrock has been
the Justice of the Peace

here for 30 years.

(male #1)
'That man is his brother-in-law
and is he a card.'

[laughing]

He's always pulling off
some kind of a joke.

He pulled a gag yesterday
that was a lulu.

Get this, a couple stopped in
at the coffee shop to have their

marriage ceremony performed
again by Judge Wedrock.

Well, Stonewall told them
that the judge was in jail

'for marrying people
without a license.'

And..

[laughing]

...all the time, the judge
was in the back taking a nap.

[continues laughing]

'Ain't that hilarious?'

Ha ha ha. Yeah, yeah.

Really tickles my funny bone.

But I'm gonna break his.

Don't, Fred,
it would spoil everything.

Oh, yeah,
I-I guess you're right.

How about that, Fred?

You were married all the time,
but you didn't know it.

[giggling]

Mr. Stonewall,
you're a dear.

muah

[laughs]
What's that for, lady?

You've made me
a happy bride.

(Fred)
'Hold it, Wilma.
Hold it.'

Uh-oh, what's the matter, Fred?

Wait for the groom, baby.

Wait for the groom!

[laughing]

Attaboy, Fred!

Come on, Barney, let's go
see the Justice of the Peace

and have a cup of coffee.
I'm treatin'.

- Yabba-dabba-doo!
- Yabba-dabba-doo!

[theme music]

[yawning]

[music continues]

thud

crash

Wilma?

[banging]

(Fred)
'Wilma!'

'Come on, Wilma.
Open this door.'

'W-Wilma!'