The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 2, Episode 28 - The Rock Vegas Story - full transcript

[snoring]

[rumbling]

[continues snoring]

Hey, Fred,
what's happening?

Search me.
M-m-must be an earthquake.

It's moving!
The hill is moving.

(Barney)
'Th-Th-That's no hill.
It's a monster!'

(Fred)
'Uh, monster?'
'Down, boy.'

'Down, down, down,
down, boy.'

Run for your lives!

[theme music]



honk honk

[whistles]

[siren wailing]

[whistles]

screech

[music continues]

screech

vroom

screech

thud

slam

slam

muah

[upbeat music]



[thudding]

[continues thudding]

Oh, boy, almost quittin' time.

Five, four, three, two, one..

[horn blaring]

There she blows!

Yabba dabba doo!

Gangway, everybody,
gangway, I'm coming through.

Gangway!

screech

chomp

Goodnight, guys.
See you in the morning.

boing boing

Boy, I'm so hungry. I'm not
gonna last till dinner.

I better take the freeway.

I could save at least
15 minutes that way.

crash

(man on radio)
'Traffic on the Bedrock freeway
building right up'

'due to a slight accident.'

'Motorists are advised
to take alternate routes'

'for the next hour.'

Oh, boy.

screech

Wilma, I'm home.

Start serving dinner
and don't spare the spare ribs.

[Dino barking]

(Fred)
'Oh, no, no, no.
Down Dino, down!'

Take it easy, boy.
Take it easy.

[Dino barking]

thud

slurp slurp

Not now, Dino!
Come on! Knock it off!

I ain't got time
for love scenes, I'm hungry.

Here, here, boy.
Fetch the stick.

[Dino barking]

Now-w-w for some chow
before I collapse.

Wilma, where are you?

Where's my dinner?

Huh?
What's this?

'"Dear, Fred, Betty and I
have gone to club meeting.'

'You and Barney can eat out.
Love, Wilma."'

How do you like that?

Maybe I should've joined the
army. At least I'd eat regular.

Ah well, I'll call Barney
and we'll try that new place.

There it is, Barney.

That's the new restaurant
I was telling you about.

(Fred)
'"The Bedrock Rock-O-Mat."
Hear it's a great place to eat.'

Looks pretty fancy,
Fred.

Here you get your food
by putting coins in a slot.

(Barney)
'Like playing a slot machine,
huh, Fred?'

Yeah, that's right.

Let's see now what to get.

Roast dodo bird.

Dinosaur cutlet.

Saber tooth tiger chops.

Chicken cacciatore.

Chicken ca--

Chicken cacciatore?
How did that get in there?

Well, they got a big variety
of food alright.

Oh, well,
I'm not very hungry.

I'll just take some
brontosaurus ribs.

[clattering]

Mmm. Sure smells good
and looks too.

- What'd you get, Barney?
- 'I wasn't hungry either.'

So, I just got
a slab of marble cake.

[tapping]

How about that? They only
give you long measly rib.

Well, there's only one way
to eat ribs. With your fingers.

chomp chomp chomp

slurp

splash

Gee, I'm sorry, Mac.

Here, let me snap
the lentils off you.

Don't touch me!
I'll wipe 'em off.

(Sherman)
'Next time watch
where you're eating.'

Sherman Cobblehead!
Of all people.

Fred Flintstone!
Fancy meeting you.

Well, what do you know?
Sherman boy.

- What are you doing these days?
- I got a good set up, Fred.

- I own a place in Rock Vegas.
- Rock Vegas?

You mean the place
with the hotels, the shows.

- And the slot machines?
- That's the place, Fred.

Eh, that's why I eat here
when I'm in town.

The sound of the coins
going into the slots gets me.

[chuckling]

Yeah, eatin' out
is a gamble anyway.

But this place makes
it sporty.

- Boy, Rock Vegas.
- Well, so long, Fred.

If you ever get out
that way, look me up.

I'm at The Golden Cactus.
I'll take care of you right.

Thanks, Sherm.

"Take care of me right."

Hmm. What a lucky break.
Did you hear that, Barney?

- Yeah, I heard it, Fred.
- Well, don't you get it?

No, I-I don't,
Fred.

It was the way
Sherman said it, Barney.

"I'll take care
of you right."

He meant he'll give me a break
when I play any of the games.

Oh, you're out
of your mind.

Those places out there
in Rock Vegas roll on us.

I know that.
They have to be to keep going.

What's the use
of talking about it, Fred?

We're not going
to Rock Vegas.

And why not? We got vacations
coming up. We made no plans.

But I heard the girls talking
about going to Pebble Beach.

No chance of talking
them out of that.

What do you mean,
"no chance"?

Don't we count
for anything around here?

We're men,
aren't we?

The bosses,
the kings of the household.

Now, when we get home

you tell Betty
we're going to Rock Vegas.

And I'll tell Wilma
where we're going.

I bet Wilma tells Fred
where he's going.

Wilma! I'm home.

Oh, there you are, Fred.

I've got something
to tell you, Fred.

Betty and I have decided where
we're going on our vacation.

Oh, you have,
have you?

- We talked about Pebble Beach.
- Oh, yeah?

But we decided
on Rock Vegas.

Oh yeah? Well, that's out.
O double T, Out!

Barney and I have decided
that we are going to..

- To-to--
- 'To where, Fred?'

Where did you say, Wilma?

To Rock Vegas.

R-R-Rock Vegas?

Swell, swell.
That's okay with me, Wilma.

Thanks, Fred.

I thought you
were gonna raise a fuss.

[chuckling]

(Barney)
'Psst! Psst!
Hey, Fred.'

Oh, hi, Barney.
What's up?

- How'd you make out?
- Rock Vegas, where else?

- Me too, Fred.
- Just shows you, Barney.

You put your foot down,
you get results.

Especially when our wives
put their foot down on ours.

[chuckling]

[engine spluttering]

Okay, gang, we're all set.
Here we go.

[engine revving]

Now, listen to that motor.

300 Brontosaurus power.

(Wilma)
'Fred, now take it easy.'

We haven't even
left the house yet

and you're
backseat driving already.

Okay, hold on,
here we go.

vroom

crash

We're almost finished
with this moving job, Charlie.

Yeah, just a few more things.

- 'You got it?'
- 'Let's go.'

[instrumental music]

Hey, wise guys,
what's the idea? Put us down!

thud

If it's on our truck,
we move it.

Got any beef, schmuck?

Eh, no. No.

[chuckling]

It was all my fault.

vroom

(Wilma)
'You're not going
on the freeway.'

(Fred)
'Of course, I'm going
on the freeway.'

'We gotta make up
the time we lost'

Fred, slow down.

screech

[horns blaring]

(Fred)
'It's all okay, I slowed down.'

It's a relief,
to get off that freeway.

Now, maybe we can
find us some markings.

[instrumental music]

- Where are we, Fred?
- Search me.

Better take a look
at the road map.

screech

- Hmm! Men and their road maps.
- Yeah.

You see, Barney, we're not far
off our course at all.

Since we're right here.

We could gain a little time
by taking this road.

- Right, Fred.
- Come on, Fred.

(Fred)
'Okay, girls.
We're all set now.'

- Good.
- About time.

(Fred)
'We figured out a short cut.'

(both)
A short cut?

I hate
these sh-shortcuts, Wilma.

Yeah, they only takes
twice as long.

We just got
a little more to go.

Four in arms!
Four in arms, Barney.

Um, four in arms, four in..

We're almost at the top.

One good shove and it'll be all
downhill from here on.

Now, all together.

Heave ho!

thud

The boys are making
a new body for the car.

Yeah, they can salvage
the other parts.

[tapping]

Oh, I'm not used to..

clang

You did that on purpose!

No, Fred. I didn't.
It was an accident.

(Fred)
'Accident? Well,
here comes another accident.'

- Fred, don't!
- Not Barney. Stop!

bang

That makes us even. So,
let's have no more accidents.

Ooh hoo.
That stings.

Well, I'm sure glad we're back
in the main highway.

Yep. We ought to make
good time now.

Slow down. Fred.
We're coming to a ferry.

Wilma, I can read.

(male #1)
'Now, you turn.'

'Easy does it.'

- All set?
- Aye, all set.

Okay, let's go.

splash

The new one's got a head.

Well, on our way at last,
everybody.

Hey, Fred. There's
that bridge over Rock Canyon.

Yeah, I read about this.

screech

Boy, that's a lulu
of a bridge.

(Wilma)
'Fred, you can't cross that
in a car, that's a foot bridge.'

We have to.
It's part of the main highway.

I think I know exactly
how to do it.

First, I back up the car
so we can get a good run in.

Back up all the way home,
it's okay with me.

(Fred)
'There, this ought to do it.'

- Fred, you're kidding?
- Fred, don't try it.

Here we go!

- No, no!
- Stop, Fred!

Yabba dabba doo!

screech

How about that, gang?

Hey, Barney, look at the girls.
Can't take a little excitement.

Takes a man for danger
huh, Barney?

[groaning]

[upbeat music]

Fred, drive slower please.

I'm catching up speed
to pass the truck up ahead.

- Watch out, Fred!
- Oh, Fred.

There's a whole bunch
of trucks ahead.

Now's my chance
to pass them all.

[music continues]

(Wilma)
'Fred!'

(Fred)
'Aha! Made it.
Now we got clear sailing'

- Fred, that's crazy driving.
- Please, Fred, be careful.

Oh, you gals
are always beefing.

Why don't you be like Barney.

My driving doesn't affect you,
does it, Barney?

No, not at all, Fred.

[upbeat music]

We're coming in to a town, Fred.
Let's pick out a motel.

There's one just ahead.

- No vacancy, Fred.
- There was a second ago.

(Barney)
'They must have
seen us coming.'

Well, there's another motel
down the street.

vroom

How does this one look,
Wilma?

vroom

Have all the lowdown tricks
taking our motel

while we're making up
our mind.

- Oh, what are we gonna do now?
- Don't worry, girls.

Your old uncle Freddy
thinks of everything.

I knew these sleeping bags
might come in handy.

And I put us up
on this hill

so no animals
will prowl near us.

Goodnight, gang.

(all)
'Goodnight, Uncle Freddy.'

Huh!
What an ungrateful group.

[snoring]

[rumbling]

[continues snoring]

Hey, Fred,
what's happening?

Search me, m-m-must be
an earthquake.

It's moving!
The hill is moving.

(Barney)
'Th-th-that's no hill.
It's a monster!'

(Fred)
'Uh, monster?
Down, boy.'

'Down, down, down,
down, boy.'

Run for your lives!

Well, we finally made it.

That looks like
it's straight ahead, Fred.

Rock Vegas, we are here.
Open up those lucky gates.

(Fred)
'Yabba dabba doo!'

(Barney)
'Hey look, The Star Rock Dust.'

(Betty)
'Ooh, it's beautiful.'

(Fred)
'There's the Dune Rock.'

'Hey, how about that?'

(Wilma)
'Look, everybody,
The Sandstone hotel.'

(Barney)
'Whoa! What a place'

Hey, that's Sherman's place.
The Golden Cactus.

- Isn't it dreamy?
- Yeah, pretty swell too.

That's for me.

Well, I'll swing in
and we'll get settled.

[indistinct chattering]

Fred! Fred Flintstone!

(Fred)
'How are ya? Sherman.'

Welcome to
The Golden Cactus, Fred.

Thanks, Sherman.
Sure good to see you again.

I'd like you
to meet my wife, Wilma.

'And my friends,
Betty and Barney Rubble.'

Pleased to meet you.

- Likewise, I'm sure.
- It's a pleasure.

Sherm, we're gonna spend
our vacation here.

Good. I'll get the best suite in
the house ready for you folks.

In the meantime, look
the place over and have fun.

- Sherman's sure a nice guy.
- I'll say.

They're all good sports
out here in Rock Vegas.

You boys look around. Betty
and I are gonna go freshen up.

Okay.
Take your time, girls.

Barney and I will go over
to the domino table.

Yeah, the galloping dominos.

[chuckling]

Fred, you're holding
all our money, so, no gambling.

Oh, oh yeah, okay.
No gambling.

Boy, I had
a big killing plan, Barney.

Forget it, Fred.
Let's stroll around.

Yeah, let's.

I, uh, think I'll give this
thing a spin, Barney.

(Barney)
'No gambling, remember?'

This isn't gambling, Barney.
It's a sure thing.

I got a system.

I keep hitting it,
while it's spinning.

Two cactus and a pomegranate.
Nothing.

- 'Let's go, Fred.'
- Wait a minute, Barney.

I just didn't
hit it hard enough.

Come on! Come on!
Jackpot!

Two pomegranates
and a cactus. Nothing.

[mumbling]

Come on, Fred. You've been
at it for over an hour.

Keep quiet! You're jinxing me.
You got a hard luck voice.

(Barney)
'Fred, let's go.'

Nothing. This machine
is into me for plenty.

Now, it's all warmed up,
the next coin ought to hit it.

Hey, Barney,
let me have some money.

I haven't any money.
You have it all.

Did you lose
all our money?

Well, I didn't exactly lose it.
I know where it is.

Barney, go borrow
a coin from someone.

Make up
a hard luck story.

I don't have to make one up.
I'm part of a hard luck story.

- Hey look, Fred!
- Oh, no.

I think
I'll play this one.

No, no, no, lady,
you can't play this machine.

Out, out! This machine
is-is full of my money.

Beat it! Vamoose!

The nerve
of some people.

There he is.
He won't let me play it.

Me mother wants to play
that machine, mister.

- B-B-but I'm-I'm playing it.
- So, play it.

Well, I'm, uh,
I'm out of money.

One side, mister.

Yeah, of course.

[chuckling]

- That fellow was right, Fred.
- Yeah, also big.

- Hey, Fred, look!
- I don't have to look.

[coins clattering]

- Thank you, son.
- Don't mention it, ma.

It figures, Barney,
it figures.

- Isn't it great here, Betty?
- Oh, scrumptious.

And to think we'll
be here two whole weeks.

Oh, there are the boys.

- Hi, boys!
- Hi, boys.

(Betty)
'We're all set to have fun.'

Have you made
any plans, Fred?

Yeah, I figured
we can sell the car

then we'll have
enough money to eat.

While we're
hitchhiking home.

(both)
Hitchhiking home?

Fred Flintstone!
Did you lose all our money?

Yes, Wilma.

(together)
O-o-o-o-h!

[humming]

- Say, Sherman.
- Fred, how's it going, boy?

Oh, swell.
Jus-jus-just great.

Good.
What did you want, chum?

You know anyone that
will buy my car, Sherm?

You mean you blew
your roll, Fred?

Yeah, I did, Sherm.

Forget it, Fred. Stay on
as guests of the house.

'Gee, thanks, Sherm,
but we couldn't do that.'

Well, you could work
for your bill.

- You mean it, Sherm?
- Sure, Fred.

Hey, that's not
a bad idea. Thanks.

Sherm said,
he'll give us all jobs

'so, we can stay right here
for the whole two weeks.'

Well, that's getting
a vacation the hard way.

But at least we don't have
to sell the car.

Oh, Bernard,
serve those people up front.

Right,
Maitre d' Flintstone.

[chuckling]

Alright, alright.

Cigarettes.
Filter tip cigarettes.

- How's it going, Wilma?
- My feet are killing me.

Wilma, smile, you know the house
rules. The boss is looking.

Okay, but my feet
are still killing me.

Cigarette.
Filter tip.

Take your picture, mister?

Well, look who's here.

Hmm, boy,
you are a cute one.

I can't argue that, sir.
A customer is always right.

'And you're alright too, baby.'

[Betty giggling]

'You're the cutest little trick
I've seen in ages.'

[continues giggling]

toing

Barney!

How do you like that,
trick buster?

Hey, Betty, it's almost time
for your number, step on it.

Okay, Fred.

Come on, Barney, hurry up.
You're in the act too.

Right, Fred.

Hey, is my tie
on straight, Betty?

Oh, you look fine, Barney.
How do I look?

Sensational, Betty.
Sensational

[chuckling]

(Fred)
'Okay, Barney, Betty,
You're on!'

Come on, Betty.

[applause]

[jazz music]

When you're smilin'

When you're smilin'
smilin' smilin'

Oh the whole world
smiles with you smile

When you're laughin'
oh baby

When you're laughin'

The sun comes
smilin' through

But when you're cryin'
you bring on the rain

So stop your cryin'
cryin' baby be happy again

That's it when
you're smilin'

Just keep on smilin'

The whole world
smiles with you

[piano solo]

Hey, Betty, look,
no hands.

[piano music continues]

Hey, look again, Betty,
no feet either.

Squawk

It's noisy in here
but it's a living.

[music continues]

And when you're sighin'
you bring on the rain

So stop your sighin'
be happy again

So keep on smilin'
cause when you're smilin'

The whole world smiles

The whole world
smiles at you

[music continues]

[audience applauding]

Encore, encore.

Well, so long, Sherm.

Even though we had
to work for our vacation

we had a swell time.

Glad to have
had you here, Fred.

You all did a fine job.

And that was a great act,
Rubble.

Best vacation
we ever had.

Sherm, you're
the luckiest guy I know.

(Barney)
'Living in these glamorous
surroundings all the time.'

Stop it, stop it.
You're all wrong.

You're the lucky guys.

You've got
what I've always wanted.

A little home,
a wife to care for me..

'...a regular job
where I could sleep nice'

instead of being trapped
in this tinsel palace.

You're the lucky ones.

Well, goodbye, Sherm.

You know, Fred.

We are lucky to have Betty
and Wilma to take care of us.

(Fred)
'Yeah, poor Sherm.'

So long, Fred.
Have a good trip.

- So long!
- Bye bye!

I wouldn't trade places
with Sherm for anything.

- Would you, Barney?
- Me neither.

But it's nice
to think about it.

[chuckling]

Let's go home, bunnykins.

You're the tops, Betty.

We had a wonderful time,
didn't we, Wilma?

I'm still having it, Betty.

[giggling]

[theme music]

boing

[yawning]

[music continues]

boing

slam

Wilma!

[clanging]

'Wilma!'

'Come on, Wilma,
open the door!'

Wilma!