The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 2, Episode 24 - Fred Strikes Out - full transcript

I'll have to confess
everything to Wilma.

Now don't worry, Freddy boy.
I got it all figured out.

When I start pullin',
you pull the other way.

[squeaking]

Barney, this ain't gonna work.

Yes it is. It's coming loose.
I can feel it. Any minute now.

You're gonna be fr-fr..

...free.

he he he

Well, looks like
good weather for flyin'.

Barney, help!



whoosh

I can't put
my finger on it, Betty.

But Fred's been acting
very strangely tonight.

[crashing]

Help!

[crashing]

- Fred, what in the world?
- Hello, Wilma.

Now I've seen everything.
A human flying bowling ball.

Stick around, Betty,
and you'll see

a lot of other things
flying around here.

[theme music]

pom pom

pom

[whistling]



screech

[siren blaring]

[whistling]

screech

screech

screech

crash

slam

slam

[music continues]

[upbeat music]

So Barney's taking a course
at the gym, Betty?

I didn't know
he was the athletic type.

Neither did I, Wilma.

Which just goes to show how
little I know about my husband.

Oh, here it is, Wilma, The quiz
I was telling you about.

(Wilma)
'"How much do you know
about your husband?"'

Sounds like fun.
Did you take it?

No. I figured being married
is like eating stew.

The less you know
about what's in it

the better you like it.

[Wilma giggling]
'Well, I'm not afraid.'

There's nothing
I don't know about Fred.

Bless his heart.

Go ahead, Betty.
Give me the quiz.

Okay, but remember
you asked for it.

Here goes.

"Has your mate ever forgotten
your anniversary?"

Well, only once. And that was
because my mother

dropped in unexpectedly,
and with all the excitement--

Uh,y-you have to answer
yes or no.

Yes.

'"Do you feel
he has ever lied to you?"'

Oh, a little exaggeration
maybe--

- Yes or no?
- 'Yes.'

"Has he ever forgotten to keep
an appointment with you?"

Well, I wouldn't say..

Yes.

- "Is he punctual?"
- No. That he's not.

I mean not really.

(Betty)
'"Does he get along well
with your parents?"'

(Wilma)
'No.'

I hate to say this, Wilma.

But so far Fred sounds
like a cross between

a saber-tooth tiger
and a gila monster.

Maybe we better stop now.

Uh, no, Betty, after all
it's only a game.

- Go on.
- 'Okay.'

"Does he notice
when you wear new clothes?"

What new clothes?
I-I mean, no.

- Well, that does it.
- 'What happens now?'

Well, we get an analysis
of the personality pattern.

- Well, have you got it?
- Um-hm-hmm.

- Uh, let's forget it.
- Is it that bad?

Come on, Betty.
I wanna hear it.

'Oh, look, Wilma.'

'The Bedrock Barn Town's
having a big sale.'

'Betty, let me see that paper.'

Hmm, this type of individual
is totally unreliable

demanding and immature.

Chances of mutual happiness
are very slim.

- Oh my goodness.
- Big deal.

What do they know? These days
everyone's a psychiatrist.

'I always thought
I'd been very happy with Fred.'

Well, sure you have, honey.

- After all, no one's perfect.
- 'Especially not Fred.'

That's right.

So he forgets
my birthday sometimes.

So he doesn't
compliment me very often.

So he breaks our appointments
without even telling me.

So he doesn't
like my mother. So what?

So what am I doing
married to the big oaf?

That's so what.

Okay, Fred baby, captain, sir

let's hear it for the
Royal Order of Water Buffalo.

[clearing throat]

Go, you Buffalo!

Go, you buffalo!

- Moo...tive!
- Moo...tive!

Hey, that's the spirit, Fred.

You're gonna do it
for us tonight.

- Right?
- Right.

Tonight, we'll show the
Exalted Lodge of Elegant Elks

who's champion.

screech

I see it now.

The score is tied.

The last frame is set up.

A hush falls over the crowd.

The pin's are trembling
in the alley.

And then mighty Flintstone
stands up slowly.

Walks up to his lane.
Looks about contemptuously.

Takes a deep breath.
Pulls in his mighty stomach.

Barney, let's try "throws out
his mighty chest" instead.

'Oh-oh, sure thing, Fred.'

'Throws out
his mighty chest, and..'

- Howl.
- Hmph!

Now he's even getting violent.

'Well, see you later, Fred.'

I have to get home
and work out with my weights

so I'll be in shape
for tonight.

Come on, muscles.
Let's get out of here.

I don't want you catching
any of his bad habits.

What's with her?

(Fred)
'Hiya, sweetheart!
How's my girl?'

muah

Okay, Fred.
Where are they?

I don't know, Wilma.
Where are what?

Where are the groceries
I ask you to bring home?

Oh, those. I guess, I forgot.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

I feel like a king tonight.

'Boy, I'm hungry.'

- Fred?
- 'Yeah, Wilma?'

Have you mailed the birthday
card to my mother yet?

Huh? What'd you say?

[humming]

sniff sniff sniff

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
My favorite dinner.

- Like it?
- 'Oh, boy, do I?'

Dinosaurus steak
on a stroganoff.

Seaweed salad.
Curried dodo eggs.

What's the occasion?

- You don't remember?
- 'Well, no. I..'

[sobbing]

The quiz was right.
You're a beast.

Gee, what a guy
has to go through

to get a square meal
around here.

What quiz, Wilma?

The one
that said you were

inconsiderate,
unreliable, selfish--

What are you talking about?

There was a quiz
in the paper this morning.

To find out how much
you know about your mate.

- And I found out that you're--
- I know, I know.

I got the message.

You mean you'd take
that stuff seriously?

There must be something to it

if you could forget
what tonight is.

Tonight is the night
you're gonna nag me to death.

That's what tonight is.

[wailing]

Oh, I got it.
I got it.

Wilma, baby,
how could I forget?

- You do remember?
- Of course.

And I wanna tell you
something, sweetheart.

'You don't look a day older.'

It's not my birthday, Fred.

Oh. Hey, I get it.

You wanted to surprise me.
It's my birthday, right?

Wrong.

It's not your birthday,
it's not my birthday.

I don't see anything
from your mother

so it's not our anniversary.

Don't remind me.

Throwing out that beautiful
plant she sent last year.

It was poison ivy, and I won't
take that from anyone.

- 'Fred.'
- I give up. Sue me.

I-I just don't remember.

Tonight is
the eighth anniversary

of the night I accepted
your marriage proposal.

Oh, boy. How could I forget?

Look, Wilma, I'm sorry.

You know when I mean really.
I-I-I gonna make it up to you.

Tomorrow night--

Why only last Wednesday
we talked about it

when you promised to take me
to the movie tonight.

Remember?

I promised to take you
to the movie tonight?

- Tonight?
- Of course.

You were going to propose
to me all over again.

You haven't forgotten our
date tonight, have you, dear?

But, Wilma, baby, sweetheart.

Tonight is, uh, uh,
l-l-little bowling thing.

'I-I must have forgotten.'

Nothing much really,
just the championship playoffs.

But I..
Yi-yi-yi.

Fred Flintstone, if you
would rather go bowling

then take me to the movies
on the eighth anniversary

of my accepting
your marriage proposal.

Then I change my mind.

I don't wanna be married
to you anymore.

And I'll deliver my mother's
birthday card myself..

...when I move back home!

Stop yelling, will you?

Aww! Come here, sweetheart.

Now don't get all upset.
You-you happen to be right.

I-I was a beast. I haven't
been fair to you, Wilma.

But I'm gonna change.

Oh, Fred.

Then you will keep your promise,
and take me out tonight?

You won't go bowling?

You have my
sacred word of honor.

I can really
depend on you from now on?

Depend on me?

Why, Wilma, I'm gonna be
so reliable from now on

you can set
the sundial by me.

You'll see no more forgetting,
no more broken promises

and no more
gettin' out of things.

So I told Wilma,
"No more conniving

no more broken promises."

I told her on my word of honor,
I'll take her out tonight.

Barney, you gotta help me
get out of it.

Okay, Fred. Give me a minute,
and I'll think of somethin'.

One, two, three, four.

If I don't take Wilma
to the movies tonight

she's goin' home
to live with her mother.

Well..
Six, seven, eight.

That's one way
to keep her mother..

Ten, eleven, twelve..
...from comin' to live with you.

Barney, are you gonna
help me or not?

Oh, sure, Fred.
Sure.

- N-now tell me your problem.
- I already told you.

Yes, sir.

It's just like Rock Whammy says.

A fat man is a grouchy man.

'Who's grouchy?
I'm perfectly calm.'

Just that I'm going
outta my mind

because I promised to take
Wilma to the movies tonight.

- Tonight, Barney.
- Tonight?

- Oh-oh.
- And how oh-oh.

If I don't show up
for that bowling match tonight--

I can see it now.

Captain Flintstone, of the
Royal Order of Water Buffalos

'it is with the deepest regret
that I am forced'

'to ask you to turn in
your horns.'

You sure got the picture,
Barney. I'm sunk.

Fred, can't you just
explain to Wilma?

Not this time, Barney.
I tried.

I'm telling you she's flippin'.
I gotta take her out tonight.

Fred, you have a very
difficult problem.

After all, when a man has
to be in two places at once--

Hold it. Hold it, Barney.
I think you got it.

All I got to do is
be in two places at once.

- That's it.
- W-what's it, Fred?

The bowlin' alley
is half a block

from the drive-in movie.

- Right?
- Right, Fred.

The movie starts at eight,
the bowling tournament at 8:15.

- Right?
- Right, Fred.

So, if I take Wilma
to the movie, wait a few minutes

and go out for candy--

I get it, Fred.

You run around the block
into the bowling alley--

Wind up, and I'll pow-wow-wow!

Eh, but you're gonna
have to buy a lotta candy, Fred.

Wouldn't it be simpler
to just tell Wilma the truth?

Barney, have I ever deceived
that sweet little woman?

Yup.

Have I kept her waiting?
Forgotten things?

Yup.

Have I ever
broken a promise to her?

Yup.

And I ask you, Barney,
on a night like tonight

in all fairness,
can I tell her the truth?

- No, no, no.
- No, no, no.

How does this dress look
with the ivory beads, Betty?

- Fine, Wilma.
- No, I don't think so.

I was wearing red
the night Fred proposed.

- There. How's this?
- Fine.

It's horrible.

Oh, Betty, I wish
I had something to wear

that would make me look
glamorous and exciting.

Tonight I wanna be a new woman.

Honey, what are you
worried about?

It's just that
this evening is so special.

Yes, but you're
only going to a drive-in movie.

No one will see you.

Fred will,
and I want him to remember me

the way I was
eight years ago tonight.

Eight years ago tonight, you
weren't married to him, Wilma.

I know. So?

So, he'll never gonna look
that happy again.

So forget it.

Betty, I know you're thinking
about that awful quiz

and you know something?

What?

I realize that taking it
was a big mistake.

- Well, I warned you.
- I know, and you were right.

All it did was make me
suspicious, and mean.

So my husband's not perfect,
whose husband is?

Certainly not my husband.

Of course, and in
the really important things

Fred always comes through.

He promised he wouldn't go
bowling tonight, and he isn't.

He promised to take me
to the movie tonight, and he is.

Listen..

[Fred humming]

[giggling]

Isn't he cute?

He's more excited
about tonight than I am.

rrrr

Pow-wow-wow!

Gotcha, you little devils.
Ho ho ho!

Fred baby, you are a winner.

[comical music]

(Wilma)
'"Pterodactyls
From Outer Space."'

(Fred)
'"Starring Janet Granite,
and Stoney Gherkins."'

I've been dying
to see this movie.

I read that Janet's been
nominated for an Oscar.

Well, that Stoney Gherkins
no slouch either, Wilma.

Come on, guess we better go in.

[car revving]

Oh, good. The picture
hasn't started yet.

Hey, there's a space up ahead.

[brakes squealing]

We haven't been here
in ages, Fred.

I'm so glad
you thought of it.

Yeah, I'm chop full
of good ideas.

Oh, Fred, look.
Kiddy Land.

(Wilma)
'Remember the fun we had here
when we were kids?'

(Fred)
'Yeah, ha ha!'

(Wilma)
'And when we were
teenagers, Fred.'

'And you had to save
your allowance'

'for weeks
to take me out. Remember?'

How could I forget?
I still have to.

[dinosaur roaring]

[movie theme music]

- Fred.
- Hmm?

Look over there.

- 'Young love, remember?'
- 'Sure I do, sweetheart.'

Do you remember what you said
to me eight years ago tonight?

Yes.

I said..
Holy mackerel.

The picture started.
I'm late.

No, Fred,
that's not what you said.

Wilma, this is no time
for romance.

I gotta get some candy.

That man picks the darndest
times to get hungry.

[intense music]

fling

bam

Attaboy, Fred.
Right in the pocket.

[screeching]

You were gone long enough
to eat a dinner, Fred.

- Did you get some candy?
- Candy?

[panting]

I forgot, sweetheart.
I'll go back in a little while.

That's alright, dear.
Forget it.

No, I insist.

I'll get you something
as soon as it's my time again.

What did you say?

I said, it's so warm.
I'm startin' to burn again.

I wish you'd relax,
and watch the picture, Fred.

- You seem so nervous.
- N-n-nervous? Who's nervous?

Oh, I know what's bothering you.

- 'Y-you do?'
- Uh-huh.

Remember how I encouraged you
to pop the question

eight years ago?

[Fred laughing]

Oh, c-come on, Wilma.

[laughing]

Cut it out.

There, how's that
for a reminder?

- Gosh! It's...peanuts!
- What?

Gotta have some.
Be right back.

My kiss has never affected
in that way before.

fling

bam

screech

[panting]

Here's your candy, Wilma.

Thanks. Say, you just missed
the most exciting part.

There is this giant pterodactyl
from outer space.

'Yeah?'

And right next to his launching
stone the two scientists

that's Stoney and Janet,
are digging for fossils.

- Yeah.
- And they don't realize that..

Oh, Fred, look. There he is,
the giant pterodactyl.

- What's he gonna do?
- Go for popcorn.

You didn't shut the door, Fred.

slam

Ow! Wilma, the door.
Open the car door.

- 'Huh? What'd you say?'
- My thumb, it's in the door.

- Wilma, open it, please.
- Something wrong?

Oh, no, everything's fine.
Swell.

Oh, boy.

fling

bam

(all shouting)
'Hurray!'

- Attaboy, Fred.
- Good work, Flintstone.

Freddy boy, you did it again.

Let me be the first
to shake the hand

that won the tournament.

Ow! My thumb!

Please, Barney,
no hand shakin'.

(male #1)
'Pardon me, Mr. Flintstone.'

I cover sports events
for the Daily Slate.

We'd love a picture
of you for the morning edition.

But, eh, thanks anyway.
But I really got to..

Yeowch!

Uh, you just hold
that up there, Fred baby.

Yes sir, the Lodge is proud
of our captain tonight.

Uh, my name is Rubble.
R-U-B-B-L-E.

Okay, hold it.

tink tink tink

Thank you very much,
and congratulations.

Oh, that was nothin'.
Doin'..

Huh?

[laughing]

It seems to be a little tight.

- Eh, what's the matter, Fred?
- 'The ball, Barney.'

- 'I can't get it off my thumb.'
- Well, let me try.

Ow! Ooh-ooh! Easy, Barney!

I slammed the car door
on my thumb before.

It must have swollen.

Oh, boy, Fred.
You're in for it now.

Ow! Yeah, if Wilma sees me with
this bowling ball, I'm dead.

- What am I gonna do?
- Get back to your car.

Keep your hand hidden.

I'll meet you back
at your house.

- Roger.
- Over, and out.

bonk

Oh, boy.

I'm sorry you
hurt your hand, Fred.

You should have said something.

Well, I didn't want
a little accident

to spoil our evening,
sweetheart.

Oh, Fred, you're sweet.

screech

I'm glad you asked
Barney, and Betty to come over.

It makes tonight
a real celebration.

Anything to make you
happy, Wilma.

(Betty)
'Yoohoo!
Anybody home?'

Hi, Betty. Come on in.

Well, hi, you two.

(Betty)
'How's the celebration coming?'

Oh, we've been havin' a ball.

[nervous laughter]

Say, uh, we can't have
a celebration without food.

Right, Fred?

Uh, food, food!
Yeah, yeah, absolutely right.

Ho-ho! Those two,
and their appetite.

Come on, Betty,
let's get them some sandwiches.

Okay, Wilma.

Hey, Fred, I-I got
some of Betty's cold cream.

We'll grease your thumb,
and slide the ball off.

Okay, but hurry it up,
will you, Barney?

(Barney)
'This little piggy
went to market.

'This little piggy stayed home.'

'This little piggy
had roast beef.'

Oh, come on, Barney.

The girls will
be back any minute.

'Okay, Fred. Hang on
to the sofa, and I'll pull.'

Uh, one.

Uh, two.

And, uh..

crash

Oh, gosh. Excuse me, Wilma.

I-I was just showin'
Fred the ol' one-two.

Ever since he signed up
for that gym course

Barney's been acting punchy.

Never mind, Betty.
We'll make some more sandwiches.

Oh, boy, Barney,
you nearly spoiled everything.

'Don't worry, Freddy.'

The girls are makin'
us some more sandwiches.

That will give us a chance
to try my new idea.

What we need is more leverage.

Now, you go over to the window,
while I run outside.

Okay, Freddy boy.

Now brace yourself,
and get ready.

One.

Two.

What'll it be, Fred.

Lava jelly with limburger,
or devil dodo egg.

- I think I'll take one of the--
- 'Three.'

Fred!

Olly olly oxen free.
You're turn to hide, Wilma.

Oh, for heaven sake.

(Betty)
'Where are the fellas, Wilma?'

Where would you expect
two grown men to be

playing hide,
and go seek of course.

What?

You figure it out.
I give up!

If this doesn't work,
Barney, I'm through.

I'll have to confess
everything to Wilma.

Now, don't worry, Freddy boy.
I got it all figured out.

When I start pullin',
you pull the other way.

[squeaking]

Barney, this ain't gonna work.

Yes it is. It's comin' loose.
I can feel it. Any minute now.

You're gonna be fr-fr..

...free.

he he he

Well, looks like
good weather for flyin'.

Barney, help!

whoosh

I can't put
my finger on it, Betty.

But Fred's been acting
very strangely tonight.

crash

Help!

crash

Fred, what in the world?

Hello, Wilma.

Now I've seen everything.

A human flying bowling ball.

Stick around, Betty.

And you'll see a lot of other
things flying around here.

For heaven sake, Barney,
haven't you got it off yet?

tink tink tink

You better make
some more sandwiches, Wilma.

This may take a long time.

brrr

That ice water is cold.

(Wilma)
'Let it soak.'

That's the only way
to get the swelling down.

Fred, I saw your picture
in the paper this morning.

(Fred)
'Yeah, I know.'

'I'm sorry, Wilma--'

You don't have to be.

You won the championship for
the Lodge, and I'm proud of you.

You are?

You mean you forgive
me for lyin' to you?

'Yes, Fred.'

Oh, gosh, Wilma!
I'm so ashamed of myself.

I'm just a no-good,
unreliable, sneaky..

Wait a minute, if I'm so bad,
how come you're not mad at me?

Remember that quiz
I took yesterday.

The one that told me
all about you.

(Fred)
'How could I forget?'

Well, I gave it to myself,
this morning, and you know what?

No. What?

'I got an even lower score
than you did.'

He he he!
You're kidding?

No, I'm not.

So I figured,
you may not be much, Fred

but I'm awfully lucky
to have you.

And vicey-versy, Wilma baby.

Vicey-versy.

Oh, Fred.

he he ha ha

[theme music]

[music continues]

Wilma!

smash smash smash

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma!
Open this door!

Wil-l-l-ma!