The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 2, Episode 23 - The Happy Household - full transcript
Wilma's new cooking show on television is a hit with everyone except Fred, who's anything but a "happy pappy" as he's forced to go without Wilma's home-cooked meals.
I'll turn on the TV, Fred.
(man on TV)
'And now a brand new show.'
Rockenschpeel Products Company
where happiness is our
most important by-product
brings you
The Happy Housewife program.
'Two hours of music, songs'
'helpful hints from our star'
'Wilma Flintstone.'
Oh, turn that thing off,
will you?
- 'Okay, Fred.'
- Wilma Flintstone?
[theme music]
preet
[siren wailing]
preet
screech
bam
thud
[pleasant music]
Golly, Wilma, I didn't realize
it was so late.
Neither did I, Betty.
When I'm shopping,
I forget all about time.
Me too. I just can't tear
myself away from those bargains.
I'm lucky that Barney
isn't too fussy.
I'll warm up
some leftovers.
Fred expects a hot meal
plucked out in front of him
the minute he gets home.
Well, I hope we get there
before the boys do, Wilma.
I hope so too, or I'm in for
one enchanted evening.
How about that, Barney?
We make the effort
to get home a little early
just so we could have
dinner sooner
so the girls will be finished
washing the dishes early.
You came home early
because you were hungry, Fred.
That's beside the point.
They're supposed to be home,
not gallivantin' around.
They're not gallivantin', Fred.
They went shoppin'.
Shoppin'? That's the worst kind
of gallivant.
Uh-oh! The boys
are home early, Wilma.
Wouldn't you know it.
Hey, Fred,
here come the girls.
They're turning
into the driveway.
Now, they're swinging
into the garage.
crash
'Well, the garage door
takes an awful beatin'.'
Is that why you bought Wilma
that new little bitty car, Fred?
He he he.
I figured the smaller the car,
the less packages it can carry.
So I bought Wilma the
compactest compact I could find.
Ho ho, I get it, Fred.
Holds down the shopping, huh?
Right. He he he.
How much can one of those
tiny cars hold, huh?
Ha ha ha.
Just a second, Betty.
I have to press this button
to open the trunk.
pop
(Betty)
'Wilma, you sure are a genius
at packing things.'
Alright. Alright.
I can't make it as fast as
you spend it, I admit it.
So let's call off
the contest.
Spend, spend, spend.
You go running around with
a charger plate in each hand.
Money isn't going out of style.
It's in to stay, believe me.
What big deal is it
to be the best dressed woman
in a poor house?
All you think of is how to get
rid of my hard earned money.
Now, you hold it right there,
Fred Flintstone.
I'm sick and tired
of these money arguments.
I wanna look nice so you'll be
proud of me as your wife.
I've pride in my appearance
and I'm not going to look like
I just swam to shore
from a sinking ship.
This is a 50-50 deal.
I work hard around here
and I'm willing to do more.
'If necessary, I'll get a job
to earn some extra money.'
That's a hot one.
A job? Ha ha ha.
What's so funny
about that?
You are too smart to leave this
cushy setup you have here.
You like it just
as it is. You..
crunch
Yeeow!
Now, what brought that on?
Wilma and I sure
had a wingding last night.
Yeah, I could hear
you yelling, Fred.
- I was not yelling!
- Gee, okay, Fred.
All our fights
are about money.
Wilma goes out spends the dough
away on clothes and stuff
and I'm still using
last year's bowling shoes.
- Well, that's too bad, Fred.
- She said she might get a job.
Ha ha! What a laugh.
She's too used to me
keeping her in luxury.
Yeah, Fred.
A job?
Well, you have a job, Wilma.
Keeping house.
I know, but it doesn't
pay anything
when I have to fight
over a new dress.
I'm going to earn
my own money.
Say, I could use some
extra money too, Wilma.
Barney never gripes
but if I made some extra money,
it'll be a lot easier.
Yeah. Say, Betty,
come on with me.
- We'll both get a job.
- Okay, Wilma.
'The Bedrock Employment Agency'
has never failed to find
a job for any applicant.
Now, girls, what are
your qualifications?
- 'Well, I can type.'
- Good. Good.
I'll give you a test.
Mrs. Rubble,
sit over at that desk.
[typewriter keys clacking]
Marvelous! You're a very
fast typist, Mrs. Rubble.
It's all spelled wrong,
but you're fast.
I can place you, I'm sure.
And I think I have a filing job
for you, Mrs. Flintstone.
Both of you go to this address
and see the personnel manager.
(Wilma)
'Oh, we will. Thank you.'
It was nice of you
to send us to the same place.
(Betty)
'This is the address and..'
Look what it is!
The Bedrock Radio,
TV Corporation.
Betty, if we get the jobs here,
we can see all the TV stars.
[laughing]
I'd work for nothing.
Well, I wouldn't go so far
as to say that.
After all, that's the deal
we got at home.
Yeah. This time
we want money.
You think this is where
they said we'd find
the personnel manager?
Well, let's look in.
What can we lose?
Oh, there you are.
Come on in, girls.
You're late, you're late. I've
been here with the other girls.
- Oh, we-we're sorry.
- Oh, we hurried right over.
Okay, wait right here.
I'll check with
Mr. Rockenschpeel.
Hundreds of girls are here.
None of them is any good
for my new TV show.
Boy! I better sell Rockenschpeel
on these two dames
or I'll lose this juicy
million dollar account.
Ah, Mr. Rockenschpeel,
our worries are over.
You mean, your worries.
Me, I got only trouble.
I think we found
the right girls for your show.
If you don't,
I cancel out the whole thing.
Oh! Yes, sir,
Mr. Rockenschpeel.
Alright girls, Mr. Rockenschpeel
is the headman.
If he likes you, you're in.
Smile, happy, happy.
Lots of teeth. Good, good.
That's it. You're on.
Hit it, Charlie.
[piano music]
(male #1)
'Okay. The dark-haired one. Go!'
Ah! Hold it! Hold it!
Stop the music!
What are you doing?
I'm leaving.
You told me to go.
(male #1)
'I meant "go."
Go ahead and sing.'
- I can't sing.
- 'You...can't sing?'
- No! But Wilma sings.
- She does?
(Betty)
Oh, she's the greatest according
to the girls in our bridge club.
Bridge club!
I made only one mistake today.
I got out of bed.
Well, I'm vaiting.
Vhere's my zinging?
The zinging?
Oh, yeah, Mr. Rockenschpeel.
Okay, Wilma, baby.
Give it all you got!
But I haven't sung since
our last bridge club meeting.
Mm-hmm.
Again with the bridge club.
[laughing]
Alright, alright, alright!
Stop with the giggling
and start with the zinging.
Go on and sing, Wilma,
if it means getting a job.
Okay, I'll try.
You'll try. Sure.
Alright, Charlie, hit it!
[piano music]
Remember that
rainy evenin'
I threw you out
With nothin' nothin'
but a bind to comb
I know I..
No, no, no, no!
I'm ruined! Kaput!
The million buck account
out the window!
I know I'm to blame
Rockenschpeel!
He likes it! He likes it!
- How's that, Rocky boy?
- I-it's good. I like it!
I told you I'd deliver!
Oh oh
Wilma, baby,
you were great, great, great!
The job is yours.
'Here, sign this
and you go to work.'
That's it! Thanks!
Good, good, good!
Um, uh, what was that I signed?
A contract for 39 weeks, to star
on the Rockenschpeel's show.
That's all. Why?
Oh, I, I was just wondering.
Thank you.
You know, if I could sing
I would've gotten
the typist job, I guess.
Well, it's a lot of fuss
over just a file clerk job.
- But I got it.
- Oh, you sure did, Wilma.
Say, Betty, what was it
that man said I signed?
Oh, that was just a contract
for 39 weeks.
(both)
To star on the
Rockenschpeel show!
Oh, mister, my husband won't
let me do anything like this.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Flintstone.
But you signed the contract.
You must fulfill it,
otherwise we will sue, sue!
'Now, get used to the idea.'
Starting today,
for 39 weeks at dinner time
you are the singing star
of Rockenschpeel's
'Happy Housewife show.'
Thirty nine weeks
at dinner time?
Oh, how can I ever tell Fred?
Come on, Mrs. Flintstone.
You're on.
Rehearsals for this evening's
opening show, you know.
Betty, I'll write
a note to Fred.
You leave it on the table with
one of your frozen TV dinners.
He's never had one,
but it's the best I can do.
Well, Barney, after that talk
Wilma and I had last night
she'll knock herself out tonight
to give me a big feed.
She'll probably start off
with the jellied cactus hearts
dodo bird on the rocks
or a sizzling
brontosaurus steak
New York cut,
medium rare.
Mm-mmm. Cut it out, Fred!
I'm just gonna have
warmed over leftovers.
Ha ha ha.
Warmed over leftovers, eh?
screech
- 'See ya after dinner, Barney.'
- 'Yo, Fred. So long!'
I'm home, Wilma.
Don't tell me what's for dinner.
I'll close my eyes.
Surprise me.
Okay, I'm ready.
Let's have it!
Wilma? I'm ready.
What's with the note?
'"Dearest Fred,
hope you enjoy your dinner.'
'Will explain later.
Love Wilma."'
"This is a complete frozen
dinner containing.."
[grunting]
I'm so hungry,
I'll eat anything.
crunch
[screaming]
Didn't that sound
like Fred, Betty?
Yeah. I don't know who
he could be growling at.
Wilma isn't home yet.
Look, Barney, why don't you go
over and try to cheer Fred up?
Well, yeah, okay.
I'll do that, Betty.
But I still don't get it!
[Barney humming]
Hey, Fred, can I come in?
[growling]
Gee, Fred, I-I am sorry.
Looks like Wilma deserted you.
Can't say I blame her.
[growling]
Uh, how'd you enjoy
your frozen dinner, Fred?
[growling]
Gee, Fred, all I'm trying
to do is cheer you up.
You know, make conversation
and stuff like that, that.
I don't want no conversation.
I want food!
F-O-O-O! Oh, I'm hungry!
Say, Barney, how about those
warmed over leftovers?
Too bad, Fred.
There weren't any warmed over
leftovers left over
to be warmed over
left over.
[laughing]
That ain't funny, Barney.
Oh, I'm sorry, Fred.
I'll turn on the TV.
(man on TV)
'And now a brand new show.'
Rockenschpeel Products Company
where happiness is our
most important by-product
brings you
The Happy Housewife program.
'Two hours of music,
songs, helpful hints'
'from our star,
Wilma Flintstone.'
Oh, turn that thing off,
will you?
- 'Okay, Fred.'
- Wilma Flintstone?
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait, wait, hold it!
Now, may I introduce our Wilma
'the Happy Housewife.'
- Wilma?
- Hey, how about that, Fred?
Wilma on TV.
(man on TV)
'Our happy housewife has
been cooking all afternoon.'
Cookin' all afternoon
for whom?
(man on TV)
'And here she is
with this delicious'
'Rockenschpeel meal
she has prepared.'
Your husband
will be happy too
when he is greeted
with a nice
roast loin of
Rockenschpeel brontosaurus.
Sure looks good,
huh, Fred?
[growling]
Well, I'm sorry, Fred. I forgot
you haven't had any dinner.
All you wives know
how important it is
to have a nice, hot meal waiting
for that hungry man of yours.
'And you can't go wrong
with a sizzling, hot'
Rockenschpeel brontosaurus
fillet steak, New York cut.
My dinner on TV.
Sort of a TV dinner,
huh, Fred?
[laughing]
Make your hobby hubby
Keep your hubby happy
When he's a little chubby
He's a happy pappy
With Rockenschpeel
(male #1)
'One more time, Wilma.'
Make your hobby hubby
Keep your hubby happy
When he's a little chubby
Wait, Fred.
Wait till Wilma comes home.
[grunting]
A-and tug it over.
crash
[panting]
See you later, Fred.
[Fred growling]
- 'Wilma!'
- Ah!
H-hi, Fred.
What's the idea,
being on television
instead of being here,
makin' dinner?
How many times have I told you,
a woman's place is in the home?
Go ahead, explain why you were
cooking my dinner on TV.
Well, this morning,
Betty and I
went down to see about
getting a job.
We went into
an employment agency..
[sobbing]
And that's how I got to be
Wilma, the Happy Housewife.
Okay, Wilma,
the Happy Housewife
Fred, the hilarious husband
is going down there
and cancel that contract.
But, Fred,
they said they'd sue.
Sue, shmoo!
I'll tear that
station apart two by two.
They're dealing with
Fred Flintstone now.
Gosh! Fred's been
gone over an hour.
I hope he's not
too rough on them.
Well, Fred won't
let them push him around.
- He's got friends.
- Yes.
Fred's a pretty
big man in this town.
[laughing]
If Fred would be a pretty
big man in any town.
[laughing]
Bang!
- Here comes Fred, Wilma.
- Fred, how'd you make out?
They had all their
smart lawyers
and some fast talking
agency boys
their company's executive board
all lined up against me.
You told them off, huh, Fred?
They argued and threatened,
but I stood firm.
Finally I won.
Two out of three points.
- 'What were they, Fred?'
- One, they won't sue me.
Two, they won't have me
fired from my job.
What was three, Fred?
Wilma keeps right on being
Wilma, The Happy Housewife.
(Barney)
'That's a pretty good deal,
Fred. They're considerate.'
Yeah, it look like I was gonna
be deported there for a while.
Hey, Betty.
How did things go today?
Uh, you know, Fred and Wilma?
All swell, Barney.
Everything's squared away.
Wilma's going to keep on
with the show
and it's okay with Fred.
Oh, great!
And Fred will eat out, huh?
Oh, no! Fred won't eat
anything but home-cooking.
'So, he'll be our guest
and eat his dinners here.'
Feed Fred Flintstone
for 39 weeks?
Oh, Betty, we'll be ruined!
Bankrupt!
Oh, come now, Barney.
How much could Fred
possibly eat?
Nobody knows.
He's never been filled up!
(Fred)
'Hi, neighbors.'
It's famished Freddie,
the man who came to dinner.
First, let me check the kitchen
to see if you'll pardon the
cliche "What's cookin'."?
[Fred laughing]
'Mmm, dodo bird fricassee.'
Looks a little thin.
slurp
Could stand a little bit more
seasoning too, Betty.
Creamed seaweed, that's out
and this brontosaurus roast.
It's too well-done
besides being much too small.
Wilma never cooks like this.
There's somethin' missin' Betty.
Oh, there's nothing missing,
but there will be.
You, Fred Flintstone.
Out, out, out!
That's always the way.
You have friends
when you don't need them.
When you need them, they throw
you out of the house.
Boy, am I hungry.
Hey, that's just what I need!
'"Mother's Place.
Real Home Cooking."'
'Must be new.
I've never seen it before.'
- Oh, mother!
- What do you want, mac?
- You're, uh, mother?
- Right, mac.
Mother's the name. Sam mother.
What do you wanna eat?
Ah..
A-a-a hot bronto sandwich
and, and, and hold the gravy.
(Sam)
'One HB, dry.'
(male #2)
'One HB, dry, comin' up!'
Here, mac.
One hot Bronto sandwich,
no gravy.
Thanks, Mother.
(Sam)
'I think I'll turn on the TV
and get a little dinner music.'
(man on TV)
'And here comes our Wilma,
The Happy Housewife.'
'And what have you cooked up
for us today, Wilma?'
A nice, crispy barbecued
Rockenschpeel dinosaur rib.
And girls,
your husband will love it.
splat
Make your hobby hubby
Keep your hubby happy
When he's a little chubby
He's a happy pappy
With Rockenschpeel
(man on TV)
'Yes, you too can be
a happy housewife if you..'
[screaming]
Hey, mac,
don't touch that TV.
crash
[telephone ringing]
- Will you get that, Barney?
- 'Okay, Betty.'
'Yeah? Oh, Hiya, Fred.
What's new?'
'What are you
doin' in jail, Fred?'
You broke up a television set?
In Mother's Place?
And hit Mother?
Oh, okay, Fred.
I have to go down
and bail Fred out, Betty.
(Betty)
'Why, you ought to
leave him there.'
Anyone that would
strike his mother
and break her TV set
should be in jail.
Don't old folks love TV.
Not Fred's mother.
Sam Mother.
I don't care whose mother it is.
It just isn't nice.
But he runs a beanery.
You know, a restaurant.
(Betty)
'It makes no difference
what he does.'
'We're concerned
with his mother.'
But-but Sam Mother
who-who owns a..
Oh, skip it!
I'll explain later.
I'm sure surprised
at Fred Flintstone.
(male #1)
'Here you are, Mr. Bedrock,
the latest ratings.'
The Bedrock Network
has done it again!
The Happy Housewife program
is the number one show
from coast to coast.
Great, great!
That's three straight weeks.
[laughing]
I'll give the
Rockbound Network a ring
and give 'em the old needle.
Hello, get me Sam Rockbound
at the Rockbound Network.
Rockbound hates it
when I do this.
Hello, this is Ed Bedrock.
That you, Rockbound?
Yeah, this is Sam Rockbound.
What's on your mind, Bedrock?
Yes, I've seen the latest
ratings on Happy Housewife.
So what?
You're being clobbered,
Rockbound.
Clobbered, that's what!
He he he.
He hates when I do that.
Oh, I hate when he does that.
And he's right.
We're being clobbered.
That Happy Housewife show
is killing us.
We've got to do something.
Let's see now..
Every housewife
has an Achilles' heel
which reminds me..
...what about a husband?
I'll start by seeing how happy
a happy housewife's husband is.
knock-knock
Come in.
- Mr. Flintstone?
- 'Yeah, yeah.'
I'm Sam Rockbound,
Rockbound Networks.
- May I come in?
- What do you want?
Mr. Flintstone, how do you
like being the husband
of TV's Happy Housewife?
- You really wanna know?
- Why, yes!
Well, sit down, buster.
I got a story to tell you.
With the ratings
we're getting, Mr. Bedrock
we can keep The Happy Housewife
show going forever.
Right! As long as
there are housewives.
[laughing]
[telephone ringing]
Hello, Bedrock speaking.
Oh! Hello, Rockbound.
Now, listen, groveling
won't help you a bit.
I'm not groveling, Bedrock.
But you will.
I've got news for you.
I've got a new show to buck
against Happy Housewife.
You're kidding! What did you
say you're calling it?
Neglected husband?
Starring, The Happy Housewife's
husband, Fred Flintstone?
But, Sam baby, y-you can't
let him say things like that.
You'll ruin our show!
Oh, that's the idea.
But, Sam, Sam, pal,
I'm groveling.
Believe me, I'm groveling.
Listen, suppose
I yank Happy Housewife.
Sure I will.
Right. Honest.
Yeah, right now, Sam baby.
Yes. Thanks, buddy.
Thanks. Right away.
Hey, you!
Stop The Happy Housewife show
right now!
Make your hobby hubby
Sorry, lady. Show's over.
With Rockenschpeel
(man on TV)
'Due to circumstances
beyond our control'
'Happy Housewife
is off the air.'
Wilma's been cookin' all day,
huh, Betty?
It's been her
first chance for weeks.
Oh, here comes Fred.
[humming]
Yabba-dabba-doo-doo
Oh, Wilma!
I'm home, Wilma.
Start it coming.
Keep your hubby happy
When he's a little chubby
He's a happy pappy
One more time, Wilma,
and keep it coming.
When he's a little chubby
He's a happy pappy
I hope all you wives
out there are taking notes.
[laughing]
[all exclaiming]
[theme music]
[yawning]
bam
thud
bam
Wilma!
Wilma!
bang bang bang
Come on, Wilma!
Open this door!
Wilma!
(man on TV)
'And now a brand new show.'
Rockenschpeel Products Company
where happiness is our
most important by-product
brings you
The Happy Housewife program.
'Two hours of music, songs'
'helpful hints from our star'
'Wilma Flintstone.'
Oh, turn that thing off,
will you?
- 'Okay, Fred.'
- Wilma Flintstone?
[theme music]
preet
[siren wailing]
preet
screech
bam
thud
[pleasant music]
Golly, Wilma, I didn't realize
it was so late.
Neither did I, Betty.
When I'm shopping,
I forget all about time.
Me too. I just can't tear
myself away from those bargains.
I'm lucky that Barney
isn't too fussy.
I'll warm up
some leftovers.
Fred expects a hot meal
plucked out in front of him
the minute he gets home.
Well, I hope we get there
before the boys do, Wilma.
I hope so too, or I'm in for
one enchanted evening.
How about that, Barney?
We make the effort
to get home a little early
just so we could have
dinner sooner
so the girls will be finished
washing the dishes early.
You came home early
because you were hungry, Fred.
That's beside the point.
They're supposed to be home,
not gallivantin' around.
They're not gallivantin', Fred.
They went shoppin'.
Shoppin'? That's the worst kind
of gallivant.
Uh-oh! The boys
are home early, Wilma.
Wouldn't you know it.
Hey, Fred,
here come the girls.
They're turning
into the driveway.
Now, they're swinging
into the garage.
crash
'Well, the garage door
takes an awful beatin'.'
Is that why you bought Wilma
that new little bitty car, Fred?
He he he.
I figured the smaller the car,
the less packages it can carry.
So I bought Wilma the
compactest compact I could find.
Ho ho, I get it, Fred.
Holds down the shopping, huh?
Right. He he he.
How much can one of those
tiny cars hold, huh?
Ha ha ha.
Just a second, Betty.
I have to press this button
to open the trunk.
pop
(Betty)
'Wilma, you sure are a genius
at packing things.'
Alright. Alright.
I can't make it as fast as
you spend it, I admit it.
So let's call off
the contest.
Spend, spend, spend.
You go running around with
a charger plate in each hand.
Money isn't going out of style.
It's in to stay, believe me.
What big deal is it
to be the best dressed woman
in a poor house?
All you think of is how to get
rid of my hard earned money.
Now, you hold it right there,
Fred Flintstone.
I'm sick and tired
of these money arguments.
I wanna look nice so you'll be
proud of me as your wife.
I've pride in my appearance
and I'm not going to look like
I just swam to shore
from a sinking ship.
This is a 50-50 deal.
I work hard around here
and I'm willing to do more.
'If necessary, I'll get a job
to earn some extra money.'
That's a hot one.
A job? Ha ha ha.
What's so funny
about that?
You are too smart to leave this
cushy setup you have here.
You like it just
as it is. You..
crunch
Yeeow!
Now, what brought that on?
Wilma and I sure
had a wingding last night.
Yeah, I could hear
you yelling, Fred.
- I was not yelling!
- Gee, okay, Fred.
All our fights
are about money.
Wilma goes out spends the dough
away on clothes and stuff
and I'm still using
last year's bowling shoes.
- Well, that's too bad, Fred.
- She said she might get a job.
Ha ha! What a laugh.
She's too used to me
keeping her in luxury.
Yeah, Fred.
A job?
Well, you have a job, Wilma.
Keeping house.
I know, but it doesn't
pay anything
when I have to fight
over a new dress.
I'm going to earn
my own money.
Say, I could use some
extra money too, Wilma.
Barney never gripes
but if I made some extra money,
it'll be a lot easier.
Yeah. Say, Betty,
come on with me.
- We'll both get a job.
- Okay, Wilma.
'The Bedrock Employment Agency'
has never failed to find
a job for any applicant.
Now, girls, what are
your qualifications?
- 'Well, I can type.'
- Good. Good.
I'll give you a test.
Mrs. Rubble,
sit over at that desk.
[typewriter keys clacking]
Marvelous! You're a very
fast typist, Mrs. Rubble.
It's all spelled wrong,
but you're fast.
I can place you, I'm sure.
And I think I have a filing job
for you, Mrs. Flintstone.
Both of you go to this address
and see the personnel manager.
(Wilma)
'Oh, we will. Thank you.'
It was nice of you
to send us to the same place.
(Betty)
'This is the address and..'
Look what it is!
The Bedrock Radio,
TV Corporation.
Betty, if we get the jobs here,
we can see all the TV stars.
[laughing]
I'd work for nothing.
Well, I wouldn't go so far
as to say that.
After all, that's the deal
we got at home.
Yeah. This time
we want money.
You think this is where
they said we'd find
the personnel manager?
Well, let's look in.
What can we lose?
Oh, there you are.
Come on in, girls.
You're late, you're late. I've
been here with the other girls.
- Oh, we-we're sorry.
- Oh, we hurried right over.
Okay, wait right here.
I'll check with
Mr. Rockenschpeel.
Hundreds of girls are here.
None of them is any good
for my new TV show.
Boy! I better sell Rockenschpeel
on these two dames
or I'll lose this juicy
million dollar account.
Ah, Mr. Rockenschpeel,
our worries are over.
You mean, your worries.
Me, I got only trouble.
I think we found
the right girls for your show.
If you don't,
I cancel out the whole thing.
Oh! Yes, sir,
Mr. Rockenschpeel.
Alright girls, Mr. Rockenschpeel
is the headman.
If he likes you, you're in.
Smile, happy, happy.
Lots of teeth. Good, good.
That's it. You're on.
Hit it, Charlie.
[piano music]
(male #1)
'Okay. The dark-haired one. Go!'
Ah! Hold it! Hold it!
Stop the music!
What are you doing?
I'm leaving.
You told me to go.
(male #1)
'I meant "go."
Go ahead and sing.'
- I can't sing.
- 'You...can't sing?'
- No! But Wilma sings.
- She does?
(Betty)
Oh, she's the greatest according
to the girls in our bridge club.
Bridge club!
I made only one mistake today.
I got out of bed.
Well, I'm vaiting.
Vhere's my zinging?
The zinging?
Oh, yeah, Mr. Rockenschpeel.
Okay, Wilma, baby.
Give it all you got!
But I haven't sung since
our last bridge club meeting.
Mm-hmm.
Again with the bridge club.
[laughing]
Alright, alright, alright!
Stop with the giggling
and start with the zinging.
Go on and sing, Wilma,
if it means getting a job.
Okay, I'll try.
You'll try. Sure.
Alright, Charlie, hit it!
[piano music]
Remember that
rainy evenin'
I threw you out
With nothin' nothin'
but a bind to comb
I know I..
No, no, no, no!
I'm ruined! Kaput!
The million buck account
out the window!
I know I'm to blame
Rockenschpeel!
He likes it! He likes it!
- How's that, Rocky boy?
- I-it's good. I like it!
I told you I'd deliver!
Oh oh
Wilma, baby,
you were great, great, great!
The job is yours.
'Here, sign this
and you go to work.'
That's it! Thanks!
Good, good, good!
Um, uh, what was that I signed?
A contract for 39 weeks, to star
on the Rockenschpeel's show.
That's all. Why?
Oh, I, I was just wondering.
Thank you.
You know, if I could sing
I would've gotten
the typist job, I guess.
Well, it's a lot of fuss
over just a file clerk job.
- But I got it.
- Oh, you sure did, Wilma.
Say, Betty, what was it
that man said I signed?
Oh, that was just a contract
for 39 weeks.
(both)
To star on the
Rockenschpeel show!
Oh, mister, my husband won't
let me do anything like this.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Flintstone.
But you signed the contract.
You must fulfill it,
otherwise we will sue, sue!
'Now, get used to the idea.'
Starting today,
for 39 weeks at dinner time
you are the singing star
of Rockenschpeel's
'Happy Housewife show.'
Thirty nine weeks
at dinner time?
Oh, how can I ever tell Fred?
Come on, Mrs. Flintstone.
You're on.
Rehearsals for this evening's
opening show, you know.
Betty, I'll write
a note to Fred.
You leave it on the table with
one of your frozen TV dinners.
He's never had one,
but it's the best I can do.
Well, Barney, after that talk
Wilma and I had last night
she'll knock herself out tonight
to give me a big feed.
She'll probably start off
with the jellied cactus hearts
dodo bird on the rocks
or a sizzling
brontosaurus steak
New York cut,
medium rare.
Mm-mmm. Cut it out, Fred!
I'm just gonna have
warmed over leftovers.
Ha ha ha.
Warmed over leftovers, eh?
screech
- 'See ya after dinner, Barney.'
- 'Yo, Fred. So long!'
I'm home, Wilma.
Don't tell me what's for dinner.
I'll close my eyes.
Surprise me.
Okay, I'm ready.
Let's have it!
Wilma? I'm ready.
What's with the note?
'"Dearest Fred,
hope you enjoy your dinner.'
'Will explain later.
Love Wilma."'
"This is a complete frozen
dinner containing.."
[grunting]
I'm so hungry,
I'll eat anything.
crunch
[screaming]
Didn't that sound
like Fred, Betty?
Yeah. I don't know who
he could be growling at.
Wilma isn't home yet.
Look, Barney, why don't you go
over and try to cheer Fred up?
Well, yeah, okay.
I'll do that, Betty.
But I still don't get it!
[Barney humming]
Hey, Fred, can I come in?
[growling]
Gee, Fred, I-I am sorry.
Looks like Wilma deserted you.
Can't say I blame her.
[growling]
Uh, how'd you enjoy
your frozen dinner, Fred?
[growling]
Gee, Fred, all I'm trying
to do is cheer you up.
You know, make conversation
and stuff like that, that.
I don't want no conversation.
I want food!
F-O-O-O! Oh, I'm hungry!
Say, Barney, how about those
warmed over leftovers?
Too bad, Fred.
There weren't any warmed over
leftovers left over
to be warmed over
left over.
[laughing]
That ain't funny, Barney.
Oh, I'm sorry, Fred.
I'll turn on the TV.
(man on TV)
'And now a brand new show.'
Rockenschpeel Products Company
where happiness is our
most important by-product
brings you
The Happy Housewife program.
'Two hours of music,
songs, helpful hints'
'from our star,
Wilma Flintstone.'
Oh, turn that thing off,
will you?
- 'Okay, Fred.'
- Wilma Flintstone?
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait, wait, hold it!
Now, may I introduce our Wilma
'the Happy Housewife.'
- Wilma?
- Hey, how about that, Fred?
Wilma on TV.
(man on TV)
'Our happy housewife has
been cooking all afternoon.'
Cookin' all afternoon
for whom?
(man on TV)
'And here she is
with this delicious'
'Rockenschpeel meal
she has prepared.'
Your husband
will be happy too
when he is greeted
with a nice
roast loin of
Rockenschpeel brontosaurus.
Sure looks good,
huh, Fred?
[growling]
Well, I'm sorry, Fred. I forgot
you haven't had any dinner.
All you wives know
how important it is
to have a nice, hot meal waiting
for that hungry man of yours.
'And you can't go wrong
with a sizzling, hot'
Rockenschpeel brontosaurus
fillet steak, New York cut.
My dinner on TV.
Sort of a TV dinner,
huh, Fred?
[laughing]
Make your hobby hubby
Keep your hubby happy
When he's a little chubby
He's a happy pappy
With Rockenschpeel
(male #1)
'One more time, Wilma.'
Make your hobby hubby
Keep your hubby happy
When he's a little chubby
Wait, Fred.
Wait till Wilma comes home.
[grunting]
A-and tug it over.
crash
[panting]
See you later, Fred.
[Fred growling]
- 'Wilma!'
- Ah!
H-hi, Fred.
What's the idea,
being on television
instead of being here,
makin' dinner?
How many times have I told you,
a woman's place is in the home?
Go ahead, explain why you were
cooking my dinner on TV.
Well, this morning,
Betty and I
went down to see about
getting a job.
We went into
an employment agency..
[sobbing]
And that's how I got to be
Wilma, the Happy Housewife.
Okay, Wilma,
the Happy Housewife
Fred, the hilarious husband
is going down there
and cancel that contract.
But, Fred,
they said they'd sue.
Sue, shmoo!
I'll tear that
station apart two by two.
They're dealing with
Fred Flintstone now.
Gosh! Fred's been
gone over an hour.
I hope he's not
too rough on them.
Well, Fred won't
let them push him around.
- He's got friends.
- Yes.
Fred's a pretty
big man in this town.
[laughing]
If Fred would be a pretty
big man in any town.
[laughing]
Bang!
- Here comes Fred, Wilma.
- Fred, how'd you make out?
They had all their
smart lawyers
and some fast talking
agency boys
their company's executive board
all lined up against me.
You told them off, huh, Fred?
They argued and threatened,
but I stood firm.
Finally I won.
Two out of three points.
- 'What were they, Fred?'
- One, they won't sue me.
Two, they won't have me
fired from my job.
What was three, Fred?
Wilma keeps right on being
Wilma, The Happy Housewife.
(Barney)
'That's a pretty good deal,
Fred. They're considerate.'
Yeah, it look like I was gonna
be deported there for a while.
Hey, Betty.
How did things go today?
Uh, you know, Fred and Wilma?
All swell, Barney.
Everything's squared away.
Wilma's going to keep on
with the show
and it's okay with Fred.
Oh, great!
And Fred will eat out, huh?
Oh, no! Fred won't eat
anything but home-cooking.
'So, he'll be our guest
and eat his dinners here.'
Feed Fred Flintstone
for 39 weeks?
Oh, Betty, we'll be ruined!
Bankrupt!
Oh, come now, Barney.
How much could Fred
possibly eat?
Nobody knows.
He's never been filled up!
(Fred)
'Hi, neighbors.'
It's famished Freddie,
the man who came to dinner.
First, let me check the kitchen
to see if you'll pardon the
cliche "What's cookin'."?
[Fred laughing]
'Mmm, dodo bird fricassee.'
Looks a little thin.
slurp
Could stand a little bit more
seasoning too, Betty.
Creamed seaweed, that's out
and this brontosaurus roast.
It's too well-done
besides being much too small.
Wilma never cooks like this.
There's somethin' missin' Betty.
Oh, there's nothing missing,
but there will be.
You, Fred Flintstone.
Out, out, out!
That's always the way.
You have friends
when you don't need them.
When you need them, they throw
you out of the house.
Boy, am I hungry.
Hey, that's just what I need!
'"Mother's Place.
Real Home Cooking."'
'Must be new.
I've never seen it before.'
- Oh, mother!
- What do you want, mac?
- You're, uh, mother?
- Right, mac.
Mother's the name. Sam mother.
What do you wanna eat?
Ah..
A-a-a hot bronto sandwich
and, and, and hold the gravy.
(Sam)
'One HB, dry.'
(male #2)
'One HB, dry, comin' up!'
Here, mac.
One hot Bronto sandwich,
no gravy.
Thanks, Mother.
(Sam)
'I think I'll turn on the TV
and get a little dinner music.'
(man on TV)
'And here comes our Wilma,
The Happy Housewife.'
'And what have you cooked up
for us today, Wilma?'
A nice, crispy barbecued
Rockenschpeel dinosaur rib.
And girls,
your husband will love it.
splat
Make your hobby hubby
Keep your hubby happy
When he's a little chubby
He's a happy pappy
With Rockenschpeel
(man on TV)
'Yes, you too can be
a happy housewife if you..'
[screaming]
Hey, mac,
don't touch that TV.
crash
[telephone ringing]
- Will you get that, Barney?
- 'Okay, Betty.'
'Yeah? Oh, Hiya, Fred.
What's new?'
'What are you
doin' in jail, Fred?'
You broke up a television set?
In Mother's Place?
And hit Mother?
Oh, okay, Fred.
I have to go down
and bail Fred out, Betty.
(Betty)
'Why, you ought to
leave him there.'
Anyone that would
strike his mother
and break her TV set
should be in jail.
Don't old folks love TV.
Not Fred's mother.
Sam Mother.
I don't care whose mother it is.
It just isn't nice.
But he runs a beanery.
You know, a restaurant.
(Betty)
'It makes no difference
what he does.'
'We're concerned
with his mother.'
But-but Sam Mother
who-who owns a..
Oh, skip it!
I'll explain later.
I'm sure surprised
at Fred Flintstone.
(male #1)
'Here you are, Mr. Bedrock,
the latest ratings.'
The Bedrock Network
has done it again!
The Happy Housewife program
is the number one show
from coast to coast.
Great, great!
That's three straight weeks.
[laughing]
I'll give the
Rockbound Network a ring
and give 'em the old needle.
Hello, get me Sam Rockbound
at the Rockbound Network.
Rockbound hates it
when I do this.
Hello, this is Ed Bedrock.
That you, Rockbound?
Yeah, this is Sam Rockbound.
What's on your mind, Bedrock?
Yes, I've seen the latest
ratings on Happy Housewife.
So what?
You're being clobbered,
Rockbound.
Clobbered, that's what!
He he he.
He hates when I do that.
Oh, I hate when he does that.
And he's right.
We're being clobbered.
That Happy Housewife show
is killing us.
We've got to do something.
Let's see now..
Every housewife
has an Achilles' heel
which reminds me..
...what about a husband?
I'll start by seeing how happy
a happy housewife's husband is.
knock-knock
Come in.
- Mr. Flintstone?
- 'Yeah, yeah.'
I'm Sam Rockbound,
Rockbound Networks.
- May I come in?
- What do you want?
Mr. Flintstone, how do you
like being the husband
of TV's Happy Housewife?
- You really wanna know?
- Why, yes!
Well, sit down, buster.
I got a story to tell you.
With the ratings
we're getting, Mr. Bedrock
we can keep The Happy Housewife
show going forever.
Right! As long as
there are housewives.
[laughing]
[telephone ringing]
Hello, Bedrock speaking.
Oh! Hello, Rockbound.
Now, listen, groveling
won't help you a bit.
I'm not groveling, Bedrock.
But you will.
I've got news for you.
I've got a new show to buck
against Happy Housewife.
You're kidding! What did you
say you're calling it?
Neglected husband?
Starring, The Happy Housewife's
husband, Fred Flintstone?
But, Sam baby, y-you can't
let him say things like that.
You'll ruin our show!
Oh, that's the idea.
But, Sam, Sam, pal,
I'm groveling.
Believe me, I'm groveling.
Listen, suppose
I yank Happy Housewife.
Sure I will.
Right. Honest.
Yeah, right now, Sam baby.
Yes. Thanks, buddy.
Thanks. Right away.
Hey, you!
Stop The Happy Housewife show
right now!
Make your hobby hubby
Sorry, lady. Show's over.
With Rockenschpeel
(man on TV)
'Due to circumstances
beyond our control'
'Happy Housewife
is off the air.'
Wilma's been cookin' all day,
huh, Betty?
It's been her
first chance for weeks.
Oh, here comes Fred.
[humming]
Yabba-dabba-doo-doo
Oh, Wilma!
I'm home, Wilma.
Start it coming.
Keep your hubby happy
When he's a little chubby
He's a happy pappy
One more time, Wilma,
and keep it coming.
When he's a little chubby
He's a happy pappy
I hope all you wives
out there are taking notes.
[laughing]
[all exclaiming]
[theme music]
[yawning]
bam
thud
bam
Wilma!
Wilma!
bang bang bang
Come on, Wilma!
Open this door!
Wilma!