The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 2, Episode 10 - Social Climbers - full transcript

Well, now, gentlemen.

I want you to imagine,
you are at a ball.

and you wanna
ask me for a dance.

Now you try it,
Mr. Flintstone.

Hiya, baby.

How's about shaking a leg
with ol' hot stuff Freddy?

(Ms. Shadrock)
'Oh, Mr. Flintstone.'

I'm surprised

you didn't get slapped
for an approach like that.

Oh, I did, Ms. Shadrock.
I got a lot of slaps.

Come to think of it,
I got a lot of dancin' too.



[theme music]

[blowing whistle]

screech

[siren blaring]

screech

[music continues]

screech

screech

bam

I sure pulled a boo-boo
this morning, Betty.

How come, Wilma?

Oh, I casually mentioned
that we were going

shopping today to Fred.

Oh, that explains all
the screaming and yelling



I heard at your place.

I guess the whole
neighborhood heard it.

Hm, I guess I'm lucky.

I told Barney and
he didn't say a word.

- He didn't?
- Not a word.

Just turned white,
clutched his throat

gasped a few times
and fainted.

Well, at least Barney
is quiet about it.

Fred always turns red,
starts screaming

and starts showing
me the check stubs.

Ooh! I hate
those check stubs!

Me too. They're never right.

The bank never gets their
balance the same as my balance.

Fred can never understand
that it doesn't matter

if we have no money in
the bank as long as we have

a charger plate at all
the department stores.

Oh! All husbands
are like that I guess.

I suppose so.

- Here we are, Wilma.
- Bedrock Shopping Center.

(Wilma)
'Now, find a place to park.'

Looks pretty crowded today.

Oh, there's a good
parking spot, Wilma. It..

'We just passed it.
Okay, back up.'

screech
bam

That's good, Wilma.
Now, come forward a little.

screech
bam

- How's that, Betty?
- Fine.

Just straighten the wheels
a bit and back up.

Easy, easy, that's it.

screech
bam

Atta girl, Wilma.
That's perfect.

Thanks, Betty.

I couldn't have done
it without your help.

- Hey, Fred.
- Hiya, Barney boy.

I got the tickets
for Saturday night, Fred.

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Stay there, Barney,
I'll pick you up.

Okay, swing her over.

(Fred)
'Welcome aboard, pal.'

Good neighbor
and bosom buddy.

Boy, the girls
are always whimperin'

we never take 'em any place.

Wait till they find out
we've got tickets

to Joe Rockhead's Volunteer
Fire Department Ball.

Oh, they'll flip
their wigs, Freddy boy.

(Fred)
'And why not?'

It's only the biggest social
event of the year in Bedrock.

Except that big society shindig,
the Ambassador's Reception.

Oh, that's just
for the society bunch.

All they do is show off
their jewels and gowns.

But the Firemen's Ball,
ha ha ha, that's a gasser.

(Fred)
'Remember last year, Barney?
After you kept going'

'for refreshments,
it got over refreshed.'

Oh, Fred, you promised you'd
never remind me about that.

I'm sorry, Barney.
But it was funny. Ha ha.

Yeah.

[laughing]

Let's look around
upstairs, Wilma.

Okay. There's the escalator.

It sure
beats walking up.

It's easier on the feet.

Oh, look, Wilma.

This is the floor where
all the evening gowns are.

Aren't they beautiful?

And they're all imported
from across the big pond.

There's the genuine
Granitelli chic.

(Wilma)
'Don't you just love it?'

(Betty)
'O-oh, and there's
that Jackie Kennelrock look.'

(Wilma)
'And there's
a low-cut waist line'

'from the house
of Crushing Door.'

Oh, we are wasting our time

looking at
all this stuff, Wilma.

I'll say. The only place
the boys take us at night

is the ball game.

Yeah, on ladies' free night
and in the bleachers.

Besides, these gowns
are so expensive.

I know.

And can you imagine the
carryings-on of Fred and Barney

if we ever came home
with evening gowns.

I dread the thought.

Uh-oh, Betty, don't
look now but...isn't that

Emmy Glutsrock behind you?

How can I tell
if I don't look?

(Wilma)
'Well, look then.'

Yeah, that's Emmy Glutsrock.
She was in our graduating class.

Well, she's out
of our class now.

She's rich.

Emmy Glutsrock, rich?

Loaded.

She married a doctor
who struck it rich

in real estate and oil wells.

I understand
she's always bragging.

(Wilma)
'Uh-oh. Here she comes
over this way.'

If she starts bragging

let's put it on
a little ourselves, Wilma.

'Good idea, Betty.'

Wilma, Betty, it's so good
to see you girls again.

- Hi, Emmy.
- It's been such a long time.

Too long, girls.

I was saying only this
morning to my rich husband

I never see any
of my old friends anymore.

Being frightfully wealthy
has its drawbacks, you know.

Yes, we know.

Like now, we were
looking for some new gowns

just to wear
around the house.

And we can't find a thing new.
We have them all.

Oh, you girls married
rich men also?

- How nice.
- Yes indeed.

My wealthy rich husband,
uh, Frederick III

is in the construction business.

Mm-hmm, and my wealthy
rich husband Barney I

is in top secret work.

Oh, then you must all come
to the Ambassador's Reception

Saturday evening.

'Here are the invitations.'

'I am in charge of seeing'

'that only the elite
of Bedrock get in.'

We have to be so careful
none of the riff-raff attend.

Well, you understand.

[together]
Oh, sure, we understand.

My rich husband and I
will be looking forward

to seein' you and your charming,
wealthy, rich husbands.

- Thanks, Emmy.
- Yeah, thanks loads, Emmy.

- Well, Mrs. Riff.
- Yes, Mrs. Raff?

We sure talked
our way into a jam.

Serves us right, bragging.

My husband, the gravel pit
worker is gonna blow his stack.

Barney too.

- Say, Betty..
- 'Hm.'

It might be fun to go to
that Ambassador's Reception.

Yeah, it might at that.

Once in our life, we deserve
to go to a swank affair.

I'll tell you what, Wilma.
Try to convince me.

But I must warn you,
I'm a pushover.

Okay, Betty.
Got your charger plate?

I have.

(both)
Charge it!

[whirring]

I'm sure glad we're
getting home before the boys.

We'll have to figure out
how to break the news to them.

Oh, we shouldn't worry
so much. We only live once.

If Fred and Barney knew
how much we owe for the gowns

that we bought, our
live once would be all over.

Ha ha ha.
You're not kidding, Wilma.

But it's worth it, to get
a night out first class

once in our life.

I can't figure how we
can get the boys to go.

Well, we'll think
of something, Wilma.

I hope.

[laughing]

Won't the girls be
surprised when we tell them

where we're takin'
'em, Saturday night?

Yeah, they probably
have no idea

they're goin'
to the Firemen's Ball.

Well, uh, see you
after dinner, Fred.

Oh, Mr. Flintstone,
here's your newspaper.

Okay, boy, let's have it.

Just when I had that
kid's curve figured out

he develops an up-shoot.

Worst of it is, now the
paper's all mixed up.

The boys are home, Wilma.

I gotta go.
See you later. Good luck.

We'll need it.

I just don't know
how to bring up

the subject
of Saturday night.

(Fred)
'Hey, Wilma, I'm home.'

Hello, Fred.

You know, how you and Betty
are always whining

you never go any place?

I recall the subject
arising now and then.

Well, Barney and I are takin'
you gals out Saturday night

'to the biggest affair
of the season in Bedrock.'

Oh, Fred! Darling, if you only
knew what this means to me.

Easy there now, Wilma.
No hysterics.

You dear, sweet boy.

I've been sitting here
trying to figure out

how to bring up
the subject to you.

A lot of husbands
are taking their wives

to the Firemen's Ball.

Uh, to the what?

Joe Rocket's Volunteer
Firemen's Ball.

[Wilma crying]

Oh, I really should take
Wilma out more often.

This came as
a big shock to her.

Even if it is because
you're happy, Wilma

I hate to see you cry.

I'm not happy.

I thought you were taking me
to the Ambassador's Reception.

The Ambassador's Reception!

That's ridiculous.
We couldn't get in there.

'It's just by invitation
to the upper crust.'

But if it were possible
to take you, Wilma

you know I would.

"Mr. and Mrs.
Frederick Flintstone III

are cordially invited to attend
the Ambassador's Reception."

How about that
for a surprise, Betty?

Surprise? It's a shock.

Firemen's Ball!

You flipped your
hook-n-ladder mind.

[telephone ringing]

Must be Wilma.

Oh, boy! Saved by the bell.

No kidding, Wilma.
How did you manage Fred?

Yes, I know it's
a woman's secret weapon.

But I hate to resort to tears.

That's right, Wilma.

When you look at it that way
there is no choice.

[Betty crying]

Uh-uh, Betty?

Uh, Be-Betty.

What's the matter?

I don't wanna go
to the Firemen's Ball.

Okay, we'll stay home, Betty.

'No! I want to go to the
Ambassador's Reception.'

Oh, that's a hot one.
The Ambassador's Reception!

'That's just by invitation
for the rich society folks.'

'There's no way that
we could ever go, Betty.'

"Ambassador's Reception

Barney Rubble, esquire
Betty Rubble, esquiress."

Esquire and esquiress!

We've been knighted.

Sir Barney Rubble invited
to the Ambassador's Reception.

[chuckling]

(Fred)
'Oh, this is a delicious
pterodactyl drumstick, Wilma.'

Fred, when we're at the
Ambassador's Reception

Betty and I would be mortified
if you and Barney

'make any mistakes
in any of the social graces.'

Now, now, look here.

Barney and I are as socially
graceful as the next two guys.

I know, Fred.

But Betty and I thought,
uh, just to make sure..

We signed you up for a course
at the Bedrock Charm School.

[Fred choking]

Charm School!

I'm charming enough
the way I am.

Everybody in town likes me.

But we paid
for the course, Fred.

'Think nothing of it.'

'Barney and I will just
get down there'

'and charm the Charm School
into giving us the money back.'

"Charm School."

This is it, Barney.

Best foot forward
now, Barney boy.

Be charming.

Right, Fred.
I'll be nonchalant.

Oh, boy.

We just reek with charm,
huh, Barney boy?

Quite, old chap. Quite.

Come in, gentlemen.

After you, friend.

Au contrary,
after you, buddy.

(Fred)
'No, after you.'

(Barney)
'And I said, after you.'

(Fred)
'You want me to slug you?'

(Barney)
'You try it and I'll
give you a fat lip.'

(Fred)
'I'll give you
another chance, Barney.'

'After me.'

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

May I suggest, you both
come in together?

I can see you
just made it in time.

- 'You both need lots of help.'
- We do?

But all we wanted to do
is ask, can we get our--

'Now, just leave
everything to us.'

'Just step into Studio A.'

'We'll get started
with Ms. Shadrock.'

Well, Frederick,
it's your move.

Where's your
manners, Barney?

We do what
the lady says.

(Ms. Shadrock)
'Well, now, gentlemen'

'I want you to imagine,
you are at a ball'

and you wanna
ask me for a dance.

You first,
Mr. Rubble.

(Barney)
'Ah, well, Ms. Shadrock.
Ah, it's been a nice day.'

A-ah, h-hope it doesn't rain.

I-I..

Oh, shucks, lady.
I can't dance.

That's alright, Mr. Rubble.

Now you try it,
Mr. Flintstone.

Hiya, baby.

How's about shaking a leg
with ol' hot stuff Freddy?

(Ms. Shadrock)
'Oh, Mr. Flintstone.'

I'm surprised

you didn't get slapped
for an approach like that.

Oh, I did, Ms. Shadrock.
I got a lot of slaps.

Come to think of it,
I got a lot of dancin' too.

I'm sure amazed

how much Barney's manners
have improved, Wilma.

Fred too, Betty.

Last night at dinner, Fred
held the chair while I sat down.

He hasn't done that since
we were going together.

(Betty)
'Oh, that's nothing.'

'Last night when I was
going out to dump the garbage'

Barney jumped up and
held the door open for me.

Ha ha, we'll be proud of 'em
at the Ambassador's Reception.

Hmm, we'll show that
snooty Emmy Glutsrock

our husbands are as
good as her rich husband.

Hurry up, Fred. We don't wanna
be late for the reception.

(Fred)
'Okay, Wilma. I'm ready.'

Well, you look very nice,
Fred, in white tie and tail.

The white tie is okay
but the tail bugs me.

[comical music]

Come on, Barney.
What's keeping you?

(Barney)
'I'll be right there, Betty.'

I got my darn tail caught
in the door again.

Enter, fair ladies.

My, we're so
charming, tonight.

It's wonderful.

Charm lesson two.

Hold the car door open
for the ladies.

[chuckling]

(Fred)
And another thing we learnt.

If we get a flat, you girls
don't have to help fix it.

Well, how charming
can you get?

Oh, I'm so glad.

That lug wrench, always chips
the polish off my nails.

[chuckling]

[pleasant music]

Ah, the first
party crasher.

Au contraire,
here is our invitation

Mr. and Mrs. Gallstone.

(Fred)
'That's Flintstone,
buster, Flint, Flint.'

I still think you have
more Gall than Flint.

Oo-ooh, you are asking
for it, Charlie.

Fred, charm,
charm. Be charming.

Oh, quite right, my dear.
We should ignore the hired help.

(Barney)
'Here's your ticket, Mac.'

Not ticket, invitation.

Hmm.

Mr. and Mrs. Rubbish.

(Barney)
'Ah, that's Rubble.'

Really? I know it
must be a forgery.

But it's so good
I'll let you in.

Nice fella, huh, Betty?

(Betty)
'Very democratic.'

If they dare to stab their
fingers at me, I'll quit.

Now, you boys mingle around
with the other guests.

Betty and I are
gonna freshen up.

Okay, girls. We'll
spread our charm around.

(Fred)
'We'll have 'em all charmed
by the time you get back.'

When I give you
the signal, Spike.

We'll back these rich guys up to
the wall and take their jewels.

Gotcha, Rocky.

In the meantime,
we are waiters.

Yeah.

Waiting for a chance
to be rich.

[chuckling]

Flintstone?

Ah, Fred Flintstone.

But you can
call me Freddy.

This is my friend,
Barney Rubble.

I'm Shale Hardrock.

I'm in oil.

Well, Shale.

Being in oil, you don't look
the least bit greasy to me.

[laughing]

That's a pip,
Fred. He's in oil.

But he isn't greasy,
you get it?

[laughing]

Where did Shale go, Barney?

I don't know. But since he's in
oil, he could slide away easy.

[laughing]

Oh, we had a wonderful
season on the Riviera.

Everyone who is
anyone was there.

I know, darling. No,
tell me about it.

At Toulouse's party
for Sir Larry.

'Mary was there.'

Would you believe it?'

'She's going to do that
flying thing again on TV.'

Oh, Peter
something-or-other.

That's it. She loves
that flying.

Of course, they pay
her just scads.

'She can't keep a cent
in her bracket, you know.'

(Emmy)
'Oh, but we are doing
all the talking.'

'Wouldn't you like to say
something, Mrs. Flintstone?'

Yes, goodbye.

- Well, did you ever?
- No, I never.

Well, I'm in
ladies' corsets.

Oh, boy!
What a set up, Fred.

Ladies' corsets, eh?

Well, don't worry. Your
secret is safe with us.

[Fred and Barney laughing]

- 'Ladies' corsets.'
- 'That's the best one yet.'

[laughing]

Who are those people?

They are not in
any of our clubs.

Definitely outsiders.

[Fred and Barney laughing]

Fred?

(Fred)
'Yes, yes, Wilma.'

We've had enough of this,
they're all snobs here.

Well, Barney and I are
having a lot of laughs.

This is the deadest affair
I've ever been to.

And we wanna leave.

Oh, but, Wilma, they
told us at Charm School

that it is the height
of bad manners to leave

before the
guest of honor arrives.

They sure learned their
charm lessons alright.

Yeah. I'm feeling ashamed.

They said if we don't act
like civilized people

we could revert back to, uh..

...if you'll pardon
the expression, caveman days.

Oh, Wilma, the
ambassador's arriving.

Good. Now maybe,
the party will get lively.

(Betty)
'He looks like
a load of laughs.'

Well, that does it.

- Fred, we wanna go home.
- And right now.

At Charm School
they said that

the success of any
social gathering

depends on the
guest participation

'in making the gathering
an interesting experience.'

Oh, they have that manners
stuff down pat, Wilma.

What bothers me most is
that they're right.

What do you say, we liven
things up a bit, huh, Barn?

Do you think,
the crowd would like it?

Oh, sure. Rich or poor
everybody is basically the same.

That's right, everybody
likes a little fun.

What do you think, Wilma?

Hmm.

Well, okay.
Do your stuff, boys.

Lovely reception.

So glad you could come.

It's a jolly party.

All the best people
are here.

[instrumental music]

Go, go, go, Barney boy.

It's those two again.

What a raucous racket!

It's an insult
to the ambassador.

This is an insult
to the ambassador.

Simply awful!

But how did they get in?

Riff-raff.

[music continues]

Wilma, the boys
aren't getting over.

No, they are not,
Betty. Let's help 'em.

(all)
Oh, no!

How utterly unspeakable.

Over-grown teenagers.

What are we coming to?

I repeat, this is an insult.

This is our big chance
to snatch all the jewels, Spike.

Yeah, while those clowns
are making all that racket.

Okay, let's go.

(Rocky)
'Alright, you rich dames.'

This is a stick up. Keep quiet
and you won't get hurt.

(Spike)
'Okay, fat cats.'

'Hand over the wallets.'

And one word. Just
one word out of you, shorty.

And pow.

[mumbling]

[instrumental music]

Spike, we overlooked
that nutty dames' jewels.

Yeah, Rocky.
Let's get 'em.

- 'Fred.'
- 'Barney.'

Okay, youse dames,
hand over your jewels.

Gentlemen, what seems
to be the difficulty?

Ah, perhaps we can discuss--

Barney, the
charm stuff is out.

Right, Fred.

(Barney)
'Okay, buster.
Take this.'

And you take this, buddy.

- Oh, scandalous.
- Revolting.

Better call the police.

We must keep it out
of the papers.

[siren wailing]

[screeching]

Alright, crook.
In the car you go.

We've been looking
for you two birds.

Well, they started it.

Tell it to the judge.

I hope the Charm School
doesn't hear of this.

They'll take
my diploma back.

They're taking
Fred and Barney too, Wilma.

Well, they were rioting.

I hope we can
get them out on bail.

Just one moment, officers.

These men saved our money
and the ladies' jewels.

'They're heroes.
Heroes, I say.'

(both)
We are?

And they are members
of our social set. Our crowd.

(officer #1)
'Well, if you say
so, Mr. Hardrock.'

I certainly do.

Well, that saves
my Charm School diploma.

[laughing]

[indistinct chattering]

[instrumental music]

That was a great idea
to come here, Fred.

Yeah, we're sure having
a good time.

I knew you'd like
it better here.

And so does the
rest of our crowd.

I haven't had so much fun

since United Steel
raised it's dividend.

You sure shake
a mean leg, toots.

[chuckling]

This is a real
swinging party.

Like I said, people
are the same all over.

All they want is a
little fun in their life

and a life in their fun.

Yabba-Dabba-Doo.

[laughing]

Ressynch: Kilo

[theme music]

[yawning]

[music continues]

Wilma?

'Wilma!'

'Come on, Wilma,
open this door.'

'Wilma!'