The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 1, Episode 22 - The Tycoon - full transcript

You'd better tell Wilma to hurry up,
or we'll miss that plane.

She just got a long-distance call.

That's wonderful, Mother.
I'm so glad you're feeling better.

You'll come here and rest
instead of me going there?

Fine, I'll see you next week.

- Bye, Mom.
- She's feeling better, Wilma?

Yes, isn't that wonderful?
I won't have to make the trip after all.

I'll call Fred right away
and tell him the good news.

The poor dear.
He looked so sad this morning.

You think he'll cheer up
when he finds out...

his mother-In-law is coming here instead?



Quiet, Barney. That's not funny.

Mr. Boulder? This is Wilma Flintstone.

Will you tell Fred
I won't be going to visit my mother?

Why not?

He's away on a leave of absence.

No, ma'am, he wouldn't tell me.

All he said was that he'd be
away from home for a few days.

Yeah, okay. Bye.

That Fred!

This is Bedrock,
county seat of Cobble Stone County...

200 feet below sea level. Population, 2,500.

It's an average town with average people.

We have our butcher, our baker...

our pizza-pie maker.



We have our bank.

And while some of us stay late
to catch up on our work...

the lucky ones who get home early
catch up on their chores...

like watering the lawn...

and trimming the hedge.

For most of us, the usual activities...

except for Fred Flintstone...

who has had a most unusual day...

with the worst yet to come.

Wilma, you're home!
How come, sweetheart?

You mean "battle-ax," don't you?

Battle-ax? What are you talking about?

- Hello, Fred.
- Barney, my pal.

Pal!

What's the matter with you, Barn?
Of course you're my pal.

- Put it there, chum.
- Sure, Fred.

I've been waiting all day for that, pal.

- Where did you get that money?
- How could you treat Wilma like that?

- Why did you body-slam me on the street?
- I'm going home to Mother.

- You should be ashamed.
- Stand up and I'll let you have it again!

Say something. Don't just lay there.

Poor Fred.

It all started this morning...

when Fred was about to leave for work,
and Wilma was going to visit her mother.

It all seemed like an ordinary beginning
to an ordinary day.

I've got to shove off for work, Wilma.

Have a good trip,
and say hello to your mother for me.

I'm going to miss you.

I'll miss you, too, Fred.
But it'll only be for a couple of days.

Mother's had these spells before.

I still think I ought to drive you
to the airport.

But, honey, you know how
your boss grumbles if you're late for work.

And the plane doesn't leave
for a couple of hours yet.

Besides, it's already settled.

Barney has the day off, and he and Betty
will drive me down in plenty of time.

- Now go to work, Fred.
- Okay.

Goodbye, dear.

- Come home as soon as you can.
- I will, Fred. Goodbye.

Good morning, Betty. Are you awake yet?

Yes, Wilma. We're just finishing breakfast.

Is it still okay to drive me to the airport?
I could take a taxi...

if it's gonna be a problem.

No problem, Wilma.
Barney and I would love to see you off.

Did Fred leave for work yet?

The old darling.
He hates the idea of my going.

I bet he does.

We'll leave in about an hour, okay?

Swell, and thanks, Betty.

So Fred went to his job
at the gravel pits...

playing to standing room only, as usual...

the audience watching and appreciating
each skillful move.

Okay, Fred, take her away!

It is said that everyone in the world
has a double, a look-alike...

and Fred Flintstone is no exception...

because nearby,
in the J.L. Gotrocks building...

is Fred Flint5tone's double...

none other than J.L. Gotrocks himself:?

- big business tycoon...
- Hello?

...and head of
the Gotrocks industrial empire.

How's the rock market today?

Up two points? Good.
When I make a million, sell.

I'm not money-mad.

Hello? Yes. Build another factory.

Hello? Okay, buy the steamship line.

Hello? We'll need 200 more trucks.

Hello? Merge with them
and we'll get control.

Hold on, I've got another call.

Yes, I've got it.
No, I don't have to write it down.

I can remember.
You want me to bring home...

a pound of liver, a loaf of bread,
and a dozen hair curlers.

Of course I won't forget.
I've got nothing else on my mind.

Battle-ax!

Hello? Yes, sell.

Hello? No, buy!

Hello?

Decisions! That's all I do, make decisions.

Every day, the same thing.

I'm insulated from the world.
I know nothing of the humanities.

I don't know what's going on out there.

I've got to get away. That's the answer.

I've got to mingle with the real people...

doing things I've heard about,
but never seen.

Pinball machines, jukeboxes...

pastrami on rye bread.

I want to have
some of the good things in life.

They'll never find me.

They'll search the Riviera,
they'll scour the country clubs...

but they'll never think of looking for me
out there. It'll work.

But before I disappear,
I'll leave them a message.

This is J.L. speaking.

As of today, I am resigning.
Do not bother to look for me...

and tell my wife to buy
her own liver and hair curlers. Goodbye.

Now out the back way, and freedom!

I'm telling you, G.W., he's not here.
And I know he didn't come out.

- Maybe he left by the back door, F.M.
- J.L. would never do that.

Let's check the pterodactyl-phone.
Maybe he left a message.

That's an idea. Here's a cracker.

Are there any messages?

"This is J.L. speaking.

"As of today, I am resigning.

"Do not bother to look for me...

"and tell my wife to buy
her own liver and hair curlers.

"Bye.

- J.L. has flown the coop, G.W.
- Oh, no, F.M.

Without J.L. at the big meeting today,
the whole Gotrocks empire could crash.

Even if word of this got out,
it would be disaster.

Big deal!

Where can I get a cinchy job like this,
at my age?

- What do we do, F.M.?
- Find him, that's what.

He's out there somewhere.

We'll check the Riviera,
search the country clubs.

We'll call the yacht club. We'll...

What is it, F.M.?

Come here a minute, G.W.
Take a look at that.

- You'll never believe it.
- What is it, F.M.?

That man in the gravel pit.
That's J.L. Gotrocks.

You're right! What do you suppose
he's doing in a gravel pit?

With his luck, he probably struck gold.

Come on, let's go down there and find out.

Hey, Mr. Gotrocks!
It's time for the big meeting.

You guys talking to me?

You've got a good sense of humor, boss.

You had us worried, until we spotted you
on that overgrown rocking horse.

Yeah, boss, what are you doing?
Going in for dino polo?

Let's go back to the office now.
We all had a big laugh, Mr. Gotrocks.

You guys got rocks in your head.

I don't know nothing about a big meeting,
and I'm not your boss.

My name is Fred Flintstone,
and I work here at the gravel pit.

- Fred Flintstone?
- You mean you're not J.L. Gotrocks?

J.L. Gotrocks? Are you kidding?

But you look just like him.

If I had J.L. Gotrocks' dough...

I wouldn't be scratching around
in a gravel pit for a living.

That makes sense.

Amazing resemblance.
He could pass for Gotrocks anytime.

Yeah, that's right.

He could, couldn't he?

- Say, Flintstone.
- Yeah?

How would you like to make
some extra dough?

Doing what?

We're in a jam.
J.L. Gotrocks has disappeared, vanished.

And there's this big meeting today, see?

If J.L. doesn't show up,
the company will go bankrupt.

Hundreds of people will be out of work.

Widows and babies
will lose their life's savings.

- The whole country could go broke.
- And, besides, we'd lose our cinchy jobs.

If that's the case,
there's only one thing to do.

- Yes?
- You guys better find that guy Gotrocks.

No, we want you to take Gotrocks' place
till we find him.

Who, me?

Go on. I couldn't do that.

But you've got to.

- Think of those people out of work.
- Think of those widows and babies.

Think oi our cinch'; "yobs.

You'll be doing a great thing
for humanity and our country.

Okay, if it's a national emergency.

But I can only do it for a couple of days
while my wife is out of town.

That's perfect. You may not get home
for a couple of nights.

You check out with your boss,
then come up to the office.

All right, I'll ask him.

I'd like to have a couple of days
leave of absence, boss.

You know we don't like
to have the dinosaur idle.

- Is it important?
- Yeah, it is.

I can't tell you the reason.
It's sort of hush-hush.

I'll even be away from home
for a few days.

If it's some kind of emergency,
go ahead, Flintstone.

Thank you, boss.

That Mr. Boulder. What a real swell guy.

You'd better tell Wilma to hurry up,
or we'll miss that plane.

She just got a long-distance call.

That's wonderful, Mother.
I'm so glad you're feeling better.

You'll come here and rest
instead of me going there?

Fine, I'll see you next week.

- Bye, Mom.
- She's feeling better, Wilma?

Yes, isn't that wonderful?
I won't have to make the trip after all.

I'll call Fred right away
and tell him the good news.

The poor dear.
He looked so sad this morning.

You think he'll cheer up
when he finds out...

his mother-In-law is coming here instead?

Quiet, Barney. That's not funny.

Mr. Boulder? This is Wilma Flintstone.

Will you tell Fred
I won't be going to visit my mother?

Why not?

He's away on a leave of absence.

No, ma'am, he wouldn't tell me.

All he said was that he'd be
away from home for a few days.

Yeah, okay. Bye.

That Fred!

What's the matter, Wilma?

The minute my back is turned,
he's got something cooking...

doing who knows what.

Wilma, Fred isn't the type of guy
who'd do who knows what.

No?

Fred just took a leave of absence
from his job.

He wouldn't tell his boss
anything about it...

except that he won't be
living at home for a few days.

Men!

So I'm a man.
What can I do about it, resign?

I'm going to search this town
and find that Fred, and when I do...

I'm going to teach him
he can't get away with it.

I'll go with you, Wilma.

I'd better go, too,
and find out what this is all about.

Oh, boy.

Fred Flintstone, the big business tycoon.

If Wilma could only see me now.

I still can't believe anybody would take me
for the great J.L. Gotrocks.

- Good morning, Mr. Gotrocks.
- Good morning.

He did it! The great Mr. Gotrocks
said good morning to me.

I knew it would happen one day!

I've got to call Mabel and tell her!

Here's the big test.

If the people in the office
think I'm Gotrocks, I'm in.

Good morning, Mr. Gotrocks.

What do you know?
They all think I'm J.L. Gotrocks.

Of course, you look just like him.
Now let's get on with the big meeting.

Wait a minute. I don't know anything
about conducting a business meeting.

You don't have to know anything.
All you've got to say is:

"Whose baby is that? What's your angle?"
and "I'll buy that."

Whose baby is that? What's your angle?
I'll buy that.

That's it, great.

Old J.L. couldn't do better himself.
Let's go.

Gentlemen, the meeting will now
come to order.

Let's hear from Mr. Stonehead first.

I'd like to open the discussion on the
subject of the railway bonds in question.

- Whose baby is that?
- Mine, sir.

What's your angle?

I've completed some research
and found the debentures are nil...

and the percentage yield is adequate.

I would advise pro rata distribution.

- I'll buy that.
- Thank you, sir.

What an executive Gotrocks is.
Knows what it's all about.

No one like him.

You're doing great, Flintstone. Keep it up.

Whose baby is that?
What's your angle? I'll buy that.

Oh, boy. This is living.

Nobody knows where I am.
No decisions to make.

Rat, this machine! Come on, get in there.

Hey, Flintstone, you know better
than to tilt the machine.

- How much does the machine cost?
- $200.

Here, $200.

I'm used to having my own way.

$200. From Fred Flintstone?

And my name's not Fred Flintstone.

Anyway, a couple of people
have seen Fred around.

Yes, but they said he passed right by
without saying hello.

That doesn't sound like Fred.

He would never pass anyone
without saying hello.

How do you like that?
He tried to bluff his way right past us.

Yeah, as if he didn't see us.

Hey, Fred, wait a minute. It's me, Barney.

Hold it, Fred.

He disappeared.

There's only one thing to do.

Since we know he's around here
someplace, let's separate and look for him.

Good idea, Wilma,
and whoever finds him will call the others.

If I find him, you can call an ambulance.
Let's go.

Yeah, Mrs. Flintstone,
Fred was in here earlier.

He bowled a few games
and flashed a roll of big bills...

and wanted to tip everybody in the place.

I tried to get him to go home,
but he said he'd never go home to that...

Begging your pardon, ma'am,
"Battle-ax" is what he said.

Battle-ax?

Wait till I get my hands on him.

One more thing.
He also mentioned liver and hair curlers.

I have a few things to mention to him, too.

Mister, can I speak to you
a minute, please?

Make it snappy, lady.
I'm in the middle of a run.

Have you seen Fred Flintstone
around here?

Flintstone? You betcha, lady.

Old Fred gave me a good payday today.

He usually shoots a sharp game of pool.

But today, nothing.

He'll never miss it, though.

He had a roll of bills
that would choke a dinosaur.

"A roll of bills
that would choke a dinosaur"?

Now, where would Fred
get that kind of money?

Any luck, Betty?

No, I haven't seen him,
but he's been around.

He's been flashing a big roll of bills
and acting like a bigshot.

I get the same story. But I can't figure out
where he got the money.

He couldn't have saved that much
out of his lunch allowance.

There's something fishy going on.

Let's find Barney.
Maybe he's seen Fred someplace.

I've looked in all the usual places
Fred hangs out, but no luck.

Now I'll start looking
in the unusual places.

Boy, do I dig this way-out music.

Let's see, I'll try Number 14 this time.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

- Who, me?
- Yeah, you.

Worrying your poor wife like that.
Shame on you.

That battle-ax wouldn't worry
about anything.

Battle-ax?

Yes, and for the first time in my life,
I'm enjoying myself.

No nagging, no phone calls,
no decisions to make.

I am never going back.

- But how about Wilma?
- Who's Wilma?

- And, for that matter, who are you?
- Who am I?

- I'm your best friend, Barney Rubble.
- Never heard of you.

- You're kidding, Fred.
- The name's not Fred.

Now why don't you just run along
like a good guy?

Nothing doing, Fred.
You're coming home with me.

Hey, let go of my arm.

Don't fight it, Fred.
It'll be tough on your arm.

This is an old commando hold.

Hey, Wilma, look who I found!

- He's got Fred with him.
- "Old battle-ax"? I'll show him.

Fred Flintstone,
what have you been up to?

The minute you think I'm out of sight,
you start playing around.

I'm not going to make a scene
here on the street...

but wait till I get you home.
You'll explain everything...

including all that money
you've been flashing around. Now march!

Madam, you are completely
off your rocker...

and I am getting out of here.

Of all the nerve!
After him, Barney. Don't let him get away.

Hold it, Fred.
Now let's talk this over a minute.

Come on, be sensible.

- Let's shake hands and stop this nonsense.
- Okay.

"Just an old commando hold, Fred."

We saw that, Barney.

- Are you all right, honey?
- Of course.

How could getting slammed on the ground
hurt anyone?

That's about as mean a trick
as anyone can play.

What's got into Fred?

Whose baby is that? What's your angle?
I'll buy that.

Flintstone is doing a great job, G.W.

Lucky we found him, or we'd be ruined.

Hey, I can't take much more of this.
Did you find Gotrocks yet?

- Not yet, but we'll have him back soon.
- Keep going, Flintstone.

Okay, but you'd better find him soon.

What's your buy? Whose angle is that?
I'll buy that, baby.

Who's your baby? I mean...

I'll angle that buy. Buy... No...

I've had it! I'm through!

I'm going back to the peace and quiet
of the gravel pits.

No, Flintstone, you can't let us down.

Look, I went to that meeting
to save widows and orphans...

but I'm not making a career of this.
I'm through, I tell you!

- Oh, my gosh! There goes my cinchy job.
- What do we do, F.M.?

We gotta keep him here, that's what.

Just a minute, Flintstone!
You can't do this to us.

- Who says?
- I do.

- Grab him, G.W.
- I'm resigning, and that's final.

- Don't let him get away!
- After him!

Good day, Mr. Gotrocks.

All these bigshots are the same.

They never take time
to stop and chat with the help.

Everything is rush, rush, rush.

Wait a minute, Fred.
You can't run away like this.

Wilma wants to know
about that big roll of bills.

Why did I ever leave the office?

I thought it would be different
on the outside.

Maybe I can shake him
by hiding under this bridge.

Give up, Flintstone!

You're coming back to the office,
even if we have to drag you back!

Oh, boy. I should never have left
the gravel pit.

No sign of him.
Looks like I lost him, all right.

He ducked under the bridge. Get him!

Looks like he got away again.

Hold it, Flintstone!

You can't get away with It!

You're only making it tough on yourself.

- Now who are those two?
- I don't know...

but it could be Fred's been giving
bodyslams to a lot of people today.

- I have had it.
- Me, too.

He'll have to come home some time.
I'll wait for him at the house.

I'll wait with you, Wilma.
I wanna shake hands with my pal again.

Boy, I'm getting pooped.
I gotta hide somewhere.

The ash can, that's it.

Get away from here.
Go find your own ash can.

- I think he went around this corner.
- Pardon me.

You idiot!

Got you, Flintstone! Come on G.W.,
give me a hand with this can.

Let me out of here.
Let me out, I demand it!

Sure, Flintstone.

As soon as we get you back to the office.

And now back to work...

eh, Flintstone?

It's J.L.!

He's trying to say something.

What are you trying to say to us...

your loyal employees, Mr. Gotrocks?

You're fired! F-R-I-D, fired!

Out!

I finally got rid of those two guys.

I'll go home
and call Wilma at her mother's.

Boy, what a story I've got to tell her.

Wilma, you're home!
How come, sweetheart?

You mean "battle-ax," don't you?

Battle-ax? What are you talking about?

- Hello, Fred.
- Barney, my pal.

Pal!

What's the matter with you, Barn?
Of course you're my pal.

- Put it there, chum.
- Sure, Fred.

I've been waiting all day for that, pal.

- Where did you get that money?
- How could you treat Wilma like that?

Why did you body-slam me in the street?

- Why did you want a few days off?
- Poor Wilma's all broken up.

Why did you buy a pinball machine?

- I'm going home to Mother.
- Get yourself another bowling partner.

And so ends a typical mixed-up day...

in the mixed-up life
of poor, mixed-up, Fred Flintstone.

Come on, Wilma, open this door!

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