The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 1, Episode 14 - The Prowler - full transcript

A burglar is on the loose in Bedrock. Betty and Wilma take judo classes from Mr Hashimoto, and Fred decides to play a trick on Wilma by disguising himself as a prowler.

Wilma, where are you?

I'm here, Fred, under the bed.

- Under the bed?
- That's what I said.

Did the big bad prowler scare you?

I forgot my loot.

The prowler!

Fred, you'd better hurry,
or you'll be late for work.

I'm hurrying.

I'll be with you as soon as I shave.

Fred, it would be nice
if you were ready just once...

-when Barney comes to pick you up.
- I'm ready.

- Where's breakfast?
- It's ready.

Three-and-a-half hours
soft-boiled dodo egg coming up.

And don't leave half of it as usual.

Just get me my toast
and maybe I can leave.

- What was that?
- Search me?

Sounds like it came from Barney's house.

Anything could come from Barney's house.

Step on it, Fred, we're going to be late.

Hold it, Barney.

What's going on at your house?

Like, meaning what?

Like, meaning that, that's what.

- Oh, that. That's Betty.
- That's Betty?

Sure, she's taking judo lessons.

Judo lessons? What for?

What's with you, Fred,
don't you read the papers?

"Citizens warned to be on lookout
for phantom burglar."

- So, why the judo?
- A woman's gotta protect herself.

What about you?

She'll protect me, too.

Oh, boy.

It's getting late, fellas.

Yeah, let's get going.

Wait till the fellas down at work
get a load of this.

Barney's wife taking judo lessons
to protect him.

Wilma, better hurry up.
They're waiting for you.


They're waiting for what?

And who's they?

They is Betty and Professor Rockimoto...

and they are waiting for me.

Hold it.

You are not taking judo lessons.

That is final, clear,
and once and for all, no.

What's wrong with
trying to protect myself?

- What about me?
- I'll protect you, too.

Yeah, Fred, wait till the guys at work
hear about your wife...

taking judo lessons to protect you.


Is Wilma there?

Hi, Betty, I thought it would be you.
Listen, the judo lessons are out.

- No.
- It's no judo lesson.

You know it's not the lessons,
it's the money.

That's for sure.

Wait till he finds out
I already paid for the first lesson.

You might as well take it.
The Professor's still here.

And I don't think he's the refund type.

That for sure.

Maybe one lesson is all you need.

No, I guess you'll need more.

- So very sorry.
- So is she.

Save me a seat, I'll be back in a minute.

So, now you are ready
for lesson number one.

Ready but not willing.

Here we go.

One thing about judo,
you take a polite beating.

- Does it hurt?
- Only when I'm sitting.

What hurts more
is that I paid for 10 lessons.

That for sure.

That for very dang sure.

- Hiya, Fred.
- Hop in, Barney.

- Sounds like you need new brakes.
- You can say that again.

Look at the paper. How about that.

How about what?

"Prowler strikes again.

"Burglar proves too elusive for police."

You don't have to worry.

Your wife is gonna protect you with judo.

Yeah, she's doing real good, too.
She's taking her fifth lesson today.

Fifth lesson? You mean
you're still letting her take lessons?

- And what's wrong with that?
- What's wrong with it?

It's going to cost me money,
that's what's wrong with it.

- Cost you money?
- Indubitably.

I might go so far as to say

If you let Betty have judo lessons,
next she'll be taking up jai alai...

then free-for-all wrestling,
next the bongo drums.

How many times can I say no?

- I'm asking you.
- So it's all my fault?

Certainly, it's your fault.

You start learning to say no,
and we'll all be ahead.

You heard me tell Wilma...

no judo lessons, that's final, clear...

and once and for all, no judo lessons.


Greetings, neighbor.

Ready for honorable lesson number five?

Ready, honorable neighbor.

There's nothing to it.
I get a stranglehold on your sleeve...

and I toss you onto that pile of pillows
over there.

You mean that itty-bitty pile of pillows
way over there?

Fred isn't going to like this.

Relax, he won't care.
I'm giving you my lessons free.

- I don't think I'm going to like it either.
- Here goes.

You missed.

I missed? Who threw who?

It doesn't make any difference.

Prowlers aren't supposed to
land on pillows.

- Now she tells me.
- Okay, now it's your turn.

You mean I throw you?

- I'm going to like that.
- Now, I'm a prowler.

I pick the lock on this door. You hear it.

Your heart's pounding with excitement.

You see the prowler's hand
reaching inside.

Reaching, reaching.

- What do you do?
- I scream for Fred.

That won't do you any good.
Fred's under the bed.

- What else do you do?
- I faint. That's what else.

- No.
- What else is there?

You grab his arm
and you give him what I just gave you.

Free judo lesson number five.

What a time to start teaching anybody.

Okay, I'll pretend I'm the prowler.
I'll go outside.

When I open the door, you grab my arm
and you flip me across the room.

Now remember your lesson.

Okay, I grab his arm...

I apply free lesson number five.

- Let me know when you're ready.
- Just a minute, I'm thinking.

- Hiya, Betty.
- Hello, Fred.

Made good time tonight. Traffic was light.

- By the way, Barney's starving.
- He is?

I better head home and get his dinner.

Wilma. Fred, no!

You're home early, Fred.

You've been taking judo lessons.

What did you say?

I didn't say anything. I'm thinking.

It's either the lawn mower,
or I can hear you thinking.

And I know what you're thinking.

And I still think it's okay
for a woman to take judo lessons.

I don't. It's a waste of money,
and it's a waste of time talking to you.

At least I don't have to hide under the bed
if the prowler shows up!

- Who said I did?
- Wilma told Betty.

She heard a noise
and tried to get under the bed.

And she couldn't. You were there first.

All right, smart guy,
let's see who gets under the bed tonight.

I'll prove to you
you're wasting your money.

Like how?

After you've gone to bed,
I'll sneak in, dressed like a burglar.

Then what do you think your wife will do?

She'll say, "Hello, Fred, why steal it?

"Just borrow it as usual."

All right, funny man...

if she doesn't scream for help
and jump under the bed...

I'll pay for the judo lessons.
Okay? Is that a bet?

It's a bet.

I'd be less than a husband
if I didn't stand behind my wife.

With her judo lessons,
it's the safest place to be.

Good night, Fred.

Where's my ear plugs?

A real sneaky exit, if I say so myself.

The masked prowler strikes again.

Now we'll see who screams
and jumps under the bed.

What is this?

Two of us
working the same neighborhood?

I'd better practice
some prowler routines before I go in.

Let's see. All right, you guys,
I've got you covered.

Don't move a muscle or I'll blast you, see.

I don't believe it.

I must be having hallucinations.

What is this, anyway, amateur night?

A couple of screwy faces
ought to send her under the bed in a hurry.


I'm going to report that guy
to the prowlers union.

Next thing you know
he'll try something unethical...

like going in the front door.

And he is!

Barney said he'd leave the door open.

How about that. It's locked.

I'll have to try the window.

I've got to admit, he's got style.

I'd better hit that house over there
before he gets to it.


Give me a hand through the window.

I don't think we ought to
go through with it, Fred.

No, you don't, I'm going to prove...

this judo is a waste of time and money
once and for all.

Now come on, give me a hand.

Okay, Fred, you're asking for it.

All right, now heave.

How do you like that.

I never get that kind of cooperation
when I rob a house.

Boy, you're a big one.

Shut up and heave.

Okay! Heave!

Help! Barney, get me out of here!

Just a minute, Fred,
I'll have you out in a jiffy.

Hurry up, I can't breathe.

I think the number five mallet
will do the trick.

Steady, Fred.

I bat a sticky wicket.


What a shot. A hole in one.

All right, come on, open the door.

I can't, Fred. It locked when I came out.

Oh, boy.

Okay, now, give me boost in the window.

Gee, I don't know, Fred, you're pretty fat.

Never mind that, wise guy,
make with the hands.

I'm telling you you're too heavy.

Easy now. One, two, alley...

Can't you do anything right?

Why don't we do it the easy way, Fred?
I'll get the ladder.

The ladder? Yeah.

I was just about to suggest that.

Now hold it till I get in.

Hold it steady.

- I'm doing my best, Fred.
- That ain't enough, you've got to...

- She didn't wake up.
- I know. She sleeps like a rock.

Maybe you ought to come back tomorrow.

You're out of your mind.

- Now, go on over there and wake her up.
- She's not going to like it.

And she wakes up awfully mean
and cranky.

Stop yakking, a bet's a bet.

You asked for it. Betty.

Let me sleep five more minutes, Barney.

There's a prowler here to see you.

Tell him we don't want any.


Help. Barney!

See, what did I tell you, Barney?

Help. Barney!

Head for the hills!

I told him she wakes up awful mean
and cranky.

That judo's dangerous.

I hope Wilma didn't wake up.

Talk about nerve.

Burgle two houses in one night?

Ain't you being a little greedy, buster?

- But it's mine.
- And who saw it first?


It's the prowler. I got to help Wilma.

I said beat it!

I'd better call the police.

I'll use Barney's phone.

Barney, he's back. Help!

Help, Barney! Call the police.

She needs the police?

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

You mean that was Fred...

and it wasn't the prowler at all?

Not at all, just old Fred.

I'm going to tell Wilma
about her big fat practical joker...

before he scares her to death.


Is Wilma there?

Yeah, she's here.

It's for you.

Thanks. Hello?

Gee, dames.

That's Wilma.

I'm coming, honey.

Wilma, what's wrong?

The prowler, he's here.

No, it's not. It's Fred.

- Fred?
- Fred?

He's not in bed. Lessons two and three?

Serves him right.

I'll give him lessons four and five
if he tries it on me again.

If he's laid a finger on her
I'll tear him apart.

Are you okay?

It is the prowler.
Luckily, I have had judo lessons...

which my chintzy husband
didn't want to pay for.

Buster, haven't we met before?

Believe it or not, he tried it again.

You gave him lesson number three?

Oh, boy. Poor Fred.

I wish he'd come back here again.
I like the practice.

So it's you.
You don't seem to get the message.

Jump me when I'm not looking, huh?

For the last time, out. And stay out.

I better stay here and think things over.

Maybe Fred will change his mind now.

You mean, to let you take judo lessons?
I doubt it.

One thing for sure...

he won't be trying that burglar bit again
in a hurry.

He's had it.

Believe it or not, he just
won't quit playing cops and robbers.

He's at it again.

- What are you going to do?
- Judo lesson five.

Give him lesson number five?

He asked for it.

I'd better see if the coast is clear.

If Fred still wants to play prowler,
I'll go along with the gag.

I might well play it to the hilt.

The prowler!

If it is, I'd better notify his next of kin.

We better get over there and save Fred.

No, let him have fun scaring Wilma.

Buster, just call the cops.

Now ain't that a kick in the head.

Had enough, Freddie?

Lady, you've been taking judo lessons.

That's for sure.


It's the prowler!

It's all yours, bub.
I'm cutting out of here.

- Hey, Fred.
- Fred, what happened? Where's Wilma?

In the house.

She took one look at the prowler,
screamed, and ducked inside.

- The prowler?
- Yeah, the real thing.

- Come on, we'd better find her.
- She must be scared.

Wilma, where are you?

I'm here, Fred, under the bed.

- Under the bed?
- That's what I said.

You hear that, Barney? What did I tell you?

See the prowler, big scream,
zip and under the bed.

What happened, Wilma?

Did the big bad prowler scare you?

Excuse me, folks. I forgot my loot.

The prowler!

Boy, this is a for real nuthouse,
that's for sure.

You're really going through with it?

I have to. A guy's gotta learn
to protect himself.

Yeah, from his wife.

Don't forget, fellows,
we're six lessons ahead of you.

Yes, is very good for families
to taking judo lessons.

Yes, it make for togetherness.



First, I are recommending.

Ten easy bronze medal family plan.

Very cheap. That's for sure.

Next, move into additional
20 silver medal lessons.

Special discount prices, big bargain.

Then, for a few more measly dollars...

you are eligible for gold medal...

diamond medal, etcetera, etcetera.

What does...

"etcetera, etcetera" mean in Japanese?


That's for sure.

Excuse please,
sounds like a new customer.

Yes, please, what can I do for you?

I want to sign up
for some private judo lessons.

A prowler's got to learn
to protect himself...

if he's going to stay in business
these days, right?

That for sure.

By the way, how's business with you?
Pretty good?

You're not just whistling Dixie.


Wilma, open the door!