The Ferragnez (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - In Your Shoes - full transcript

Chiara and Federico step into each other's shoes: she records the series' theme song, while Federico experiences the dreaded pains of childbirth.

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Today is our fourth session.
Actually, in the previous three,

even when, as they say,
the shit hit the fan,

you managed to hold it together.

-I didn't have to talk about my own shit.
-Today it's your turn.

So I'd like to know, Federico,

what are those parts of your path
you've been working on

that you think have an impact
on your relationship with Chiara

and that are part of your story.

I don't relate to others
the way I relate to her.

With others, I don't even
give them a chance.

-To hurt you, you mean?
-To... I mean to...



I don't give them a chance
to fuck me over, I'd say.

I'm not even gonna give you that chance.

MILAN
34TH WEEK - GYNECOLOGICAL EXAMINATION

Let me go first.

-Good morning, Doctor!
-Hello.

-How are you?
-Good.

Well, then...

-Where's her little head?
-Where I have the probe.

It looks like she has huge lips!

-I can't see anything.
-The little nose and the lips.

-I can see it.
-All smushed, all...

Look at those chubby little hands!

-Where do you see all these things?
-Look at the fingers!

-Like this?
-Yes!



-Like this?
-Like this.

What's her weight now?

-I'm gonna tell you now.
-I can tell you, 1.7 kg.

-Or 1.4 kg.
-Let's see. Yes, 1.7 kg.

-1.7 kg?
-You said 1.4, like last time.

-The first thing I said was 1.7 kg.
-Well, but...

That's what counts.

He was right.

-Can I ask a stupid question?
-By all means.

-If she kicks really hard, can it do harm?
-No.

-Was it a stupid question?
-No.

-No question is stupid.
-"I know that I know nothing,"

-once said...
-Someone important.

-Who?
-Plato.

-I think it was Aristotle.
-Aristotle?

-I would have said Socrates.
-Maybe it was Socrates.

One of the three.

-Do you know what we'll try on Monday?
-No.

We'll go with my friend, who's pregnant
with twins, and her boyfriend,

and the two of them will try
these kind of electrodes

that should simulate the pain
of childbirth.

The pain of childbirth is intense.

-It's crazy.
-It is.

No, I know.

-Shall we bet you're gonna scream?
-No way.

-Shall we bet?
-I won't.

-Let's bet something.
-I'm all tattooed up.

-Yes, right.
-Tattoos hurt.

-You cry when you get tattoos.
-I wanna know how it goes.

Easy. I'll be like this.

-I can imagine.
-Super easy. You'll see.

No, no, no!

No! Stop!

-Stop!
-Come on, love!

No, enough for me. I give up, no!

-Come on!
-No, it hurts like crazy!

Everything started
With a dog and a bow tie

How about that

And now we're expanding the family
A little more

Like a yo-yo

Because every time you kiss me
You knock me out

So kiss me, silly,
And the show begins

The Ferragnez

GRANDMA CIANA'S HOUSE

This is me going to Grandma Ciana,

who lives in a council flat
in Giambellino.

She's not very trustworthy.

She says she was a skating champion,
but nobody in our family believes it.

Hello, Grandma.

Is it me getting smaller
or is it you growing up?

She already did my cards.

Leone, according to her reading,
was supposed to be a lioness.

So, she didn't get it right.

You're very busy, aren't you? So...

-Can't you mute the keyboard?
-I can't even do it.

Yes, you can put your phone
in silent mode.

-You scared me!
-And you can't cross your legs!

I wanna make something clear.
All these mystical characters

are not usually together.
One substitutes the other.

-One, two, or three?
-Three.

In this series they put them all together,
I look like Wanna Marchi's lovechild.

Okay, but read them right, Grandma.

-Tell me what's going on.
-I need to look at them.

I need to pair them,
I don't have a machine.

So, that's the hope.

You have to be patient, but you're not.

And here, you will argue with someone.
A young man.

Can you see what's here?

He will betray you in the name
of love, of friendship.

-Not again!
-Be careful.

-You can't have friends. Unfortunately.
-But I don't have any! Just one.

-So, I already know who it is. Nice.
-Well, it's still one.

-Well.
-Ask her the name.

Do we know who it is?

I can already see him.

-When I saw him, I already thought this.
-I know who it is, then.

-Who is it?
-Luis, she's saying.

These are heavy charges.

My grandma specifically referred
to a person she only saw once,

and so now...

Let's hope not.

LUIS
FEDEZ'S FRIEND

Show me the TikTok.

It's this one.

-Andrea Damante did it.
-It looks easy.

Federico, big Italian star.

Fuck!

No, Luis, come on!

I'm known as the friend of the husband
of the big star.

I'll hold on to your legs, wait.

Okay, now...

I'll fall on my face.

I've got you, I've...

Luis is a friend of mine.
He's a person I hold in very high esteem,

he has great creativity,
and is very genuine.

-Hold on tighter.
-I have Sanremo...

I can't. Fuck!

He met me at a time of transition,

when I changed friends,
social circle, and vision.

Oh, God, that hurt.

-A nice moment, huh?
-Back to work.

And I think he's part of the reason
I, somehow, changed.

Federico, today I want to provoke you.

And I'll start by telling you
that what you should do

is take off the armor
and rely on a network of relationships

that will allow you to trust people.

I mean, I really don't feel the need to...

expand my network of relationships.
I know it sounds absurd.

It seems like I have a long road ahead,
but I've already improved a lot,

compared to before.

Sometimes it happens I wanna play
Russian Roulette with someone.

The problem is that some I've played with
handed me a gun full of bullets.

So with the people I trusted, many times,

it didn't end well,
so this has done nothing

but create additional walls.

With time... I mean, I'm willing to do it.

I'm building things that would lead me

to forcefully expand the network
of relationships.

For example, I created a podcast.

With us today at Muschio Selvaggio...

The podcast is the projection

of my change, as it forces me
to sit at a table with people

and interact with them.

And you, Chiara?

Because of my job,
I have similar people around me,

and they're people who share
similar tastes or interests with me.

-They all magically share your interests.
-No, it's true.

But it's true, yes.

I have few real long term friends,
but I had them long before that...

For twelve years.

Federico, what I wish
you could recognize in her,

is that she has the ability

to surround herself with people
who love her and will not betray her.

-But she struggles more to recognize them.
-What do you mean?

-When they betray her?
-Or when there are weird people around.

I recognize hers better.
And you, vice versa, mine.

-Well, yes.
-It's easier.

Always in that perspective of a couple
that maintains itself well

and lasts a hundred years as a couple,
you always have to be a safe space

-for each other.
-Of course.

FEBRUARY 8, 2021

Oh! I'm the bunny from Rome!

-What did you bring me?
-I brought food.

Thank you!

Fede, good morning, it's Ricky.
Can you hear me?

Are you talking to me?

-Yes.
-Yes, I can hear you, hello.

-How many kisses?
-Lots.

Lots, okay, go.

If you could get it a little closer...

-Like this?
-Perfect.

-That's it.
-Is that it? I want more! No!

-We're going live in three minutes.
-Okay.

Careful.

Power hit!

-We've done a wonderful...
-I have the interview on RTL.

-Sorry.
-Oh, okay.

-Come, Daddy.
-Honey, I have an interview.

Careful!

We have here Francesca and Federico.

-Good morning!
-Hi!

Michielin and Fedez!

Good morning, guys.

-Hi! Good morning.
-Hi!

How are you?

-Good, very good, thanks.
-We heard the voice of a child.

It's Francesca hiding something, probably.

-Speaking of hiding something...
-Well.

-Okay, I made an assist.
-You dropped that into our lap.

Let's face this monster right away,
shall we? So we can get rid of it.

EIGHT DAYS BEFORE

Misstep for Fedez, who reveals part
of the song he will take to Sanremo,

going against the regulation
that requires unpublished pieces.

...how much do you like
the new Sanremo song?

-One.
-No!

Call me by my name...

He posted on Instagram

the song that he planned to bring
with Michielin to Sanremo.

-Not good.
-By regulation, you can't.

They must be unpublished pieces.

What happened?
Basically, I was editing the video.

To edit videos, I use this.

This software here.

I edited the video
with Leo's thing, you see?

Here it is.

And then there's a tiny part
that you can't see.

-That was left there.
-My wife

was rushing me. I tell her, "Give me
a moment, I need to be careful."

Give me some time to post it.

But she rushed me.

And I posted a piece of the song. It's not
your fault, honey. It's mine. I'm a jerk.

-Well, I feel a little guilty.
-I stopped crying five seconds ago,

I called Francesca crying like an idiot.

It's a nightmare.

-Baby!
-Shit, we've been working for months!

I know, love.

I always fuck up over some bullshit.

I know, but you didn't do anything.
You had an oversight

on a delicate matter, but hey,
it happens, you didn't do it on purpose.

I can't believe it.

I wanted to do have a calm Sanremo.

I wanted to have a calm,
peaceful experience, but no.

-Fuck me.
-You'll never have that.

I was obviously distraught because...

Not only was I risking my work,
but other people's too, so I felt guilty.

I'm willing to take the wave of crap.

But there's a person involved
who has nothing to do with it.

Everyone!

-He had three minutes of... anguish.
-Anguish.

I was very anxious, too.

Yes, but I didn't take it out on you.

No. He took it out on himself, on the fact
that it was something so stupid which,

objectively, is a mistake we all make.
I lost count of how many times I did it.

But at a certain point I said,
"Let's keep calm," and I faced it.

-Should I call him Ama?
-I can turn this off.

-Yes, hello.
-Hello, how are you?

I'm sorry to bother you. Sorry.

No, don't worry. I realize that's
how it goes with Sanremo.

I swear, I'm mortified.

AMADEUS
ARTISTIC DIRECTOR OF SANREMO 2021

I feel like an ass.

I don't understand how that could happen.
I really feel like shit.

I must say

-I'm very proud of Fede's reaction.
-If it were just me, I'd say...

He was discouraged at first, which
was normal, but then he reacted, so...

it's a big change

from past crises...

or past mistakes, let's say.

-They need to check the regulation, so...
-Thank you.

If I have news tomorrow, I'll text you,
since you may be in the studio.

Yes, well, we'll be in the studio
practicing the song...

not knowing whether we're going to do it
or not, so it's gonna be

tragicomic, tomorrow.

-Okay then, bye.
-Oh, well.

-Bye.
-Bye.

-Have a nice evening.
-You too.

Imagine if they don't disqualify you,

but you drop out
because the baby girl is born.

In that case, it's not meant to be.

Shit, why did you say that, honey?

It went well, especially

how the two of you managed the situation,
because it could have caused a war.

Yes. It's true.

Yes, it went great.

FEBRUARY 1, 2021

And then he didn't do the things
he usually does, like...

posting, giving his explanations,
et cetera, which,

when he makes a mistake,
it's not so much the mistake itself,

but it's how he justifies it,
amplifying the problem.

But this time, he was very controlled,
very good.

A terrible moment,

I felt like shit, total shit.

Michielin, Fedez. This.

Months' worth of work, of preparation...
What a disaster.

I honestly believe it was meant to happen.

There's no way
that an alignment of misfortunes,

one connected to the other,
could lead to this.

Fedez and Michielin won't be disqualified
and will participate to Sanremo.

FEBRUARY 2, 2021

It's 8:30 p.m. and they just told us that
Fede won't be disqualified from Sanremo.

Full steam ahead!

-Honey, are you happy?
-Yes!

Is Daddy going to Sanremo?

He's going? They didn't disqualify him?

Yes?

There's a side of you that's hard, tough,
it doesn't let anybody in,

and then there's
this super sensitive side,

the one that's able to cry,
that's able to throw itself into battles.

It's a shame that you don't find
the courage, the strength

to expand it to the maximum, because

it's as if you were wearing an armor
to protect yourself,

-the heavy kind of armor.
-Yes.

Do you want to explain it to me?

Various times, when I was a child,

some things happened
in which I was actually...

I didn't have control of the situation.

This leads my head,

my mind towards the fear,

the obsessive paranoia of losing it.

Do you want to tell me,
so Chiara can hear it?

My dentist was a pedophile.
I was at elementary school.

The dentist needed to do the X-rays.

They put a lead blanket on you,
something like that.

Dentists usually put it on top of kids'
underpants. But he would put it under.

He disappeared. My parents tried to book
an appointment, but he wasn't there.

They watch this TV special
and find out he was a pedophile.

Shortly after, this person killed himself.

I'm aware that nothing else happened,
I didn't suffer a more serious violation.

What is that, really? It's a child who

doesn't have control over the situation
and another person who preys on him.

What does that humiliation say about you?

Not feeling good enough,
not feeling capable,

not having a great self-esteem in general.

-So, I, Federico, belittle myself.
-Totally.

But it was also my fuel, that led me to

San Siro, to my company,
listed in the stock market...

It led me to a series of things.

Here's the point: what else do you have
to do to acknowledge your worth?

If you were stronger, more confident
than that Federico, you'd go to Sanremo

understanding that Sanremo
is the prize for what you've already done.

You're going to Sanremo
because you're good,

that's the prize, and should be enjoyed
as the vacation, the award.

Yes, I agree.

But if you think you're not worth enough,

you always must prove to yourself
and the world that you are worthy.

I wish I could support Fede,
be a rock for him anyway.

Because I think that,
if he could look at his whole life,

he'd learn to find peace of mind
and to live as positively as possible.

This would make us remember Sanremo
with an even bigger smile on our faces.

We're trying to do
Fede's first Versace fitting for Sanremo.

-But there's no...
-And Leo's.

The clothes are...

We had a cute idea, given that I and Leo

won't be physically at Sanremo,

the first night we'll dress Leo
with an identical look to Fede's.

Leo is afraid it's a doctor
taking his temperature.

They'll be sweet, with matching clothes.

When we meet next time,
with Donatella, you'll try them all.

On the back of Fede's shirt,
there are four initials,

F for "Federico," C for "Chiara,"
L for "Leone," and V for "Vittoria."

-Hello, baby.
-Hi.

What's wrong?

It'll be the baby's name.
You guys already know it,

by the time you watch this.

I'll have a look.

-So beautiful!
-Beautiful!

Really beautiful.

I like the detail on the back.

Leo was convinced
that the tailor was a doctor,

so he just would not allow himself
to be measured.

No, Mommy!

It was super stressful.

She's taking your...

-Leo.
-Give me your hand, look.

Come on,
I'll leave you under the table, look.

-It's over, baby, it's over.
-It's over.

Why don't you like it?

I don't like it
when they take the measurements!

But we're done!
You don't have to do it anymore!

-Daddy is doing it.
-It hurts!

-How can it hurt, love?
-They send people to jail for that, honey.

Today we're going
to record the theme song.

-How spontaneous.
-Do you wanna add anything?

You were so spontaneous
that I don't want to add anything else.

Exactly.

I'm super anxious today because

recording the theme song
means leaving my comfort zone.

We're ready.

I only did it once with Baby K.

I was less nervous, and it came out well.

I don't know how it'll go,

because the pitch is very high for me

and I'm not very good at singing, so...

Hello, how are you?

-Good, and you?
-Good.

I liked that kind of "Grease" vibe

they gave to it, but the initial lyrics
didn't make much sense.

-Baby, I have some variants on the hook.
-I lost the thing.

The original lyrics read,
"Chiara thought I was a gigolo."

-Can you explain?
-So, wait, I have the two lyrics.

"I texted Chiara, but she thought
I was a bot."

-It's not bad.
-It doesn't make sense.

"Chiara thought I was rock'n'roll,"
and you,

"But he's not."

This is acceptable.

Otherwise, I wanted to put something
about "the dog..."

That would make more sense.

Everything started
With a dog and a bow tie

I think it's funnier like this.

-How do you write...
-"Bow tie."

We changed the first verse.
Is it called a verse?

Because our followers know
how it all started,

thanks to a piece of his song,

so it has to do with my dog,
a bow tie, et cetera. So we put that

for those who know us well.

Moët & Chandon

-Random.
-No, something like, "How about that."

Yes! Wow! Oh, holy shit!

She's the new Mogol, bloody hell! Yes!
"How about that," that's it, done.

Well, it's not...

Perfect, love. Colloquial, beautiful.

The earnings of this hit
will be split fifty-fifty.

So now he sings his parts?

Yes, so then you can hear them
and overdub yours.

One, two, three, Winnie the Pooh!

-God.
-When you want. We're ready.

Okay, go.

Chia...

Can you raise my voice?

I'll lower the base and raise the voice.

Everything started
With a dog and a bow tie

And now we're expanding the family
A little more

Because every time you kiss me
You knock me out

And the show begins

The Ferragnez

-Did he have the autotune?
-Yes. But very light.

I want it very strong, though.

Okay.

It's light and funny.
It's a theme song, right?

-What's wrong?
-I'm nervous.

You're not with Claudio Villa!
Come on, you see I suck too.

All right.

Will you come over there with me?

Are you ashamed? Love!

-There are a lot of people!
-How did you do the one with Baby K?

-I was drunk.
-Were you?

-You're pregnant now, you can't.
-Exactly.

-Let's remove some bass tones.
-It was fun.

She was a good coach.
We drank champagne before recording.

-Oh, God.
-I was super chill.

You need to have fun, love.

Come on,
nothing is gonna happen, trust me.

How do I sing?
Can you already put the autotune?

-Autotune.
-Ready.

Help.

-What do I do now?
-Sing.

-Okay, shall I start?
-No, wait!

-I'm scared.
-Just try. Listen to me, go.

-Let's do it together.
-But I can't hear it.

Everything started
With a dog and a bow tie

How about that

How about that

I can't do it that high!

How about that

You're a woman.
For me it's too high, I'm a baritone.

-I don't know what that means!
-That I have a lower voice.

How about that

-Exactly.
-Push it a little bit more.

Don't think.

Everything started
With a dog and a bow tie

How about that

-Come here.
-You are not...

It wasn't bad. Believe in it.

-Well...
-You need to believe in it.

If she believed a little a bit more,
she would rock.

She gets nervous, it's fair. I get nervous
and I've been doing this for years.

How about that

And now we're expanding the family
A little more

Like a yo-yo

Because every time you kiss me
You knock me out

So kiss me, silly
And the show begins

The Ferragnez

-Okay!
-Good.

-Let's go listen.
-Let's go.

God, it's too hard doing this stuff.

Why can't I sing? I wanted to be a singer.

What if we ask Arisa to sing?
We say it's Chiara.

-It wasn't easy.
-No, it wasn't!

You rocked.

-Nice!
-Well, so-so.

We need to understand
if you're out of tune.

They sound like sirens.

Oh God, come on!

I got this award for the theme song
before it even came out

and this shows my potential as a singer.

Let's avoid giving spoilers
about this one too.

-No!
-No, I can't believe it.

I'll delete it right away.

-You made me press with my finger!
-I didn't!

Fuck!

-He was about to...
-No! I'm deleting it.

All good, guys, all good. Nobody saw it.

Now I'll have my revenge
because Fede will try

the pain of childbirth,
even if I don't think it will be

as devastating and painful as the real
thing, but he'll get an idea, at least.

Okay.

Another couple of friends of mine,
Lorenzo and Martina, will try it too.

-Are you nervous?
-No, I don't know what I have to do.

Suffer.

Martina is expecting twin girls.
She's a close friend of mine, it'll be fun

to see who will handle it better.

I think Lorenzo will win,
Fede can't take much pain.

Hello!

-Hello, love!
-How are you?

Good.

-Are you ready, Lori?
-Super ready.

-You can't run away, you're gonna do it.
-You sure?

-What the fuck are we supposed to do?
-Assimilate their pain.

Which will never be like ours.

Yeah, we'll see.

-There we go.
-Please.

-Hello.
-Hi!

-Welcome.
-Thank you so much.

-Thank you. Hi, everyone.
-Wow!

Is this a service you offer
to make men feel the pain of childbirth?

Exactly. For this treatment
you should wear the scrubs on the beds.

I love it.

I love all of this. So cool.

-I've never felt this pain. You did.
-I did, with the contractions.

-Okay, I'm turning the machine on.
-No, hey!

He hasn't attached it to you yet.

This will be divided in three phases.

The first phase will simulate
the preparatory contractions,

the second phase will be the start of the
labor, with slightly longer contractions,

and in the last phase the contraction will
be even longer, and closer to one another.

And much stronger.

Okay, we can proceed
with the electrode application.

-When I had them, you were sleeping.
-It was night! What was I supposed to do?

On the couch, sleeping.

-Can you sit up, please?
-Yes.

It's only fair
that he takes his share, now.

-Come on, love.
-Okay.

-You can lay back down.
-I'll take some souvenir pictures of you.

-Lori, any comments?
-Let's just hope it all goes well.

-Let's hope it's a girl.
-No, wait a minute, guys. I'd like...

-Can't I see what happens to him first?
-Fuck no!

-If anything, the other way around.
-Is it simultaneous?

Simultaneous? No!

Let's hold hands.

-No, guys, I can't do it!
-Come on, don't be...

-I'm having a panic attack.
-Don't panic, jeez!

When you give birth,
I'll treat you like this. Come here.

-What do I have to do?
-Give me support.

-I'm starting to feel...
-It's already started.

No, oh!

-Ouch, you're hurting my hand, Lorenzo.
-He's also ice cold.

-Nice start, isn't it?
-What the fuck are we doing?

We poor women.

-This really makes you empathize.
-You can do it, you're a beast!

-Like you told me.
-Okay.

Which phase is this one?

-The second one.
-The first phase of labor begins.

Come on. Labor. Come on, love.

-No, please!
-What do you feel?

-Now it's a bit stronger than before.
-Fucking hell!

-How fucking long does it last?
-Make sure you breathe.

-Breathe, love.
-But it's lasting so long.

With Chiara they didn't last this long!

-They last longer than one minute!
-It's not true.

-Son of a bitch!
-Come on, honey.

-Think about what you're creating.
-It hurts more when I laugh!

You're hurting me, Lore, fuck!

Come on, guys, we're nearly there!

It's a mix of humiliation and pain.

It's horrible.

But what is...

No, no, no!

No! I can't do it.

-Come on!
-Gimme your hand.

-You're a man.
-This one is stronger!

You're hurting me, no, Lorenzo,
you're hurting me, ouch!

-Aren't we done with this fucking labor?
-Last one.

-Go, breathe.
-Don't blow!

-What the fuck are you blowing?
-I'm not!

-Come on, honey!
-Breathe.

-Now there's the ejection.
-We'll prep you for phase three.

It's going to simulate the last pushes,
the ones that are a bit lower.

-We're ready.
-Give birth to these creatures.

No, no, no!

-Stop! I can't do it.
-It's nature, you can't say stop!

I can't do it, I can't... Fuck!

-No, honey, I can't do it.
-Come on, honey, come on!

This thing is not gonna air.

Come on, honey, I can see the head!

-Give it all now.
-I can't do it anymore.

-Come on, honey.
-No! Stop!

Stop, stop! If you make it stronger
I'll pull everything off.

-Come on!
-Fuck off!

-Well done, honey!
-Fist bump, bro! Let's be men.

-Well done.
-Good job, you gave birth!

How was it?

Terrible, fuck!

-Damn!
-You did great.

You both got to the end.

Yes, exactly.

I'll remove the ones on the back.

-We came out well, Lore.
-Yes.

I'm sure
I had a very dignified labor reaction.

Love, turn around.

-Guys, you were amazing.
-Thanks.

After realizing
that you can support each other

and that you can put yourself
in each other's shoes, I have a proposal.

I'd like to meet you individually
next time.

I'd like to be able
to meet only with you, Chiara,

and have the opportunity
to speak only with you, Federico.

And I think we'll have fun.

-Okay.
-All right.

-All right?
-Thank you so much.

-Thank you.
-No crying today.

No crying today.

Go, team!

There's a surprise.

-Who is this little boy?
-Is it Leo?

I hope I don't give birth during Sanremo.

-Let's hope so.
-Careful, she's pooping!

I'm proud of the parent I am. I can be
a parent. I can't wait for her to be born.

Wow, great!

Fede is setting off for Sanremo.

I'm totally shitting myself.

Bye, daddy, we love you so much.