The Fairly OddParents (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - Episode #1.9 - full transcript
- Hey, Carnavàl.
What time is it?
all: It's time to meet
the fish! Whoo!
♪ I'm a swordfish ♪
♪ Check out my long,
pointy bill ♪
♪ I'm a starfish ♪
♪ And boy,
I love to eat krill ♪
- ♪ I'm a jellyfish,
I'll sting you real good ♪
♪ But you won't die ♪
- ♪ I'm a sea cucumber,
an echinoderm ♪
♪ From the class
Holothuroidea ♪
♪ I breathe from my butt ♪
- ♪ And I look-- ♪
- Cut!
What did I tell you after
yesterday's rehearsal?
You said, "Be better,"
then you barked at me
and stormed out.
[barks loudly]
- Rachel, Rachel, Rachel,
Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.
- Do you need a Family Circle?
- Yeah.
I'm feeling really
disconnected right now.
- Yeah.
- Bring it in.
together: ♪ I see you ♪
♪ I smell you ♪
♪ I need you ♪
♪ Family ♪
[all exhale]
Okay, I'm better now.
- Roy, Rachel's being
extra barky today.
Is she always like this before
the Dimmsdale Carnival?
It's pronounced "Carnavàl,"
and you need a family of four
to be on a Carnavàl float.
Now that you and your dad
are here,
my mom finally gets
to perform on one.
So, barky.
- That's why she's drinking
water out of a dog bowl.
Good girl. Oh.
Oh, not too much.
You're gonna throw it up!
- Okay, I get that this
Carnavàl float
is a big deal to Rachel,
but was the 4:00 a.m. call time
really necessary?
[yawns]
- Well, according to
the schedule,
it's the only way to run
the float dance 57 more times
before 2:00.
[inhales sharply] Yikes, we
are not gonna make our day.
Guys, we gotta talk!
- Okay, while you all
figure that out,
I'm just going to...
[all chattering]
Okay, nobody's listening.
Go talk to my magical fairies
because Roy and I have fairies!
Oh, fairies!
Can you guys help me get out
of this rehearsal?
My feet are killing me.
- What do you have in mind,
kiddo?
We're in the business
of granting wishes,
not coming up with them.
Wait!
[clattering]
I present to you, Da Wheel!
Da wheel is a spin-a-ma-jig
that can help you
come up with stuff
when you can't think of stuff.
This one's filled with all
sorts of classic sitcom excuses
like, "boss is coming
to dinner,"
or, "friend visiting
from out of town,"
or, "your Uncle Tony needs help
hiding a"--
- A friend visiting from out of
town sounds like a great idea.
- You don't wanna
spin Da Wheel?
- No need.
I've actually been missing
my best friend
from Oldsburg, Courtney.
But it's a wheel!
It needs to be spun or it loses
its sense of self!
[clattering]
[cat yowls]
- I wish Courtney would
come visit me
in Dimmsdale right now,
and not question
how she got here
or why she's here.
Done!
- Viv!
- Courtney!
You're here for a visit!
Indeed I am, darling.
And I have no questions beyond
why are you dressed like
a piece of excrement?
I'm a sea cucumber.
Ah, an echinoderm from the...
both: Class Holothuroidea!
Oh, I missed you so much.
- Viv, if we're gonna
make our day,
we're gonna have to--pretty.
I mean, beautiful.
I mean, Roy's the name.
Peeing my PJs when I have
a bad dream is my game.
Why?
- Um, Courtney, this is
my new step-brother Roy.
Roy, this is my best friend
Courtney from Oldsburg.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
- Hey. I was mid-bubble bath
when my Zina Senses
started tingling.
I felt my entire reason
for living being torn asunder.
- Zina, this is my best friend
from Oldsburg, Courtney.
- I thought I was your bestie,
bestie.
- Well, I think that under
the right circumstances,
boogers taste good.
Why?
- Time-out.
Zina, honey, this is bad.
- Uh, just 'cause you said
"time-out" doesn't mean--
- Roy only blurts out
embarrassing confessions
like that
when he has a huge crush.
We're right here.
- Keep your cool when you
go back, baby girl.
- Does she really think
that we can't--
- Time-in.
So what was your name again,
hon?
- Courtney.
- Pretty!
[screams]
It's been a real pleasure.
Love your shoes.
Ugliest shoe's I've seen
in my entire life.
- Is everyone in Dimmsdale
this strange?
Kids, we need to rehearse
the birth scene
of the float dance.
I can't lay eggs
out of my mouth
and sit on them
at the same time.
- I've seen her try.
It's real messy.
- Courtney.
- Hi.
You got your braces off.
Hey, tell your dad
I still hate him.
You got it, Mr. Turner.
Bootios, studio now.
- But my best friend's
in town.
- Well, that's an excuse
I'll buy every time!
Places!
Take your places!
- That's my mom.
She still tucks me in at night
and checks under the bed
for monsters.
Why?
- So wanna come see
my new bedroom?
- You could say anywhere else
in the world
and my answer would be yes!
[jazzy music]
- Check out Viv's first
Hornet Day.
- Is that a swarm of hornets
holding a young man aloft?
Yeah.
- Ol' Gus is queen
of the hornets now.
Ooh, that reminds me.
I have a fresh vat
of hornet soup
chillaxing in the fridge.
Would love to give you
a little "tarste."
Ew.
- It's surprisingly "tarsty."
- Be right back.
Emphasis on "back" because
mine is shockingly hairy.
Why?
I love you.
Why?
[jazzy music]
♪ ♪
- Ugh.
Thank goodness he's gone.
Roy's really great.
He's just being weird
'cause he has a crush on you.
- It's not him.
It's all of Dimmsdale.
Everyone in your life here
is a little...off.
You get used to it.
- It frightens me
to hear you say that
because you shouldn't
get used to it.
You're like me.
We like the finer things.
Like collecting old maps.
- In Dimmsdale,
they do call maps
"the devil's drawings."
- Lord, what fools these
Dimmsdalians be.
- No one talks Shakespeare
here with me in Dimmsdale.
Between you and me,
I do kind of miss Oldsburg.
- Well, you can always
come back.
That might be nice.
You'll love this:
they finally outlawed fedoras.
- [gasps]
- Why?
[brassy music]
- ♪ She's a stranger from afar
and he's a local star ♪
♪ And now they're family ♪
♪ And they have OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪
- ♪ Normal floaty fish ♪
- ♪ Until we grant your wish ♪
- ♪ OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪
♪ New shirt, blue skirt,
instant dessert ♪
♪ Swim wear, lazy chair ♪
♪ Chocolate square,
time to share ♪
♪ Gold throne, clear phone ♪
♪ Dino bone, silly clone ♪
- ♪ OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪
♪ It flips your lid
when you are a kid ♪
♪ With Fairly OddParents! ♪
♪ In real life ♪
[brassy music]
- And on Fridays at
the Oldsburg Outdoor Library
and Fancy Cheese Farm, they do
a classic movie screening.
Guess what Tokusatsu film
is next week.
- It's a fish!
- It's a monster!
both: It's Codzillard!
- Ugh. I feel like people
in Dimmsdale haven't even
heard of "Codzillard."
- [whispering]
She's gonna leave Dimmsdale
and move back to Oldsburg
where she fits in.
- Ah! That means she wouldn't
need us anymore.
- Way to connect those dots,
sweetie.
- Thanks. I'm--um,
what's the word for not dumb?
"Smort?" Yeah, that's it.
- I'm gonna go use
the wash closet.
- Okay, cool.
- This is your chance.
Go talk to Viv.
- That's the smort thing to do.
- You're right.
Doopity doopity doopity doo.
Just entering now.
Not having eavesdropped at all.
Enjoy that wash closet,
Courtney.
Uh, thanks?
Yeah, don't mention it.
Viv, you can't leave Dimmsdale.
- Yeah. If you moved back
to Oldsburg,
then you wouldn't
need us anymore
because you'd fit in
and feel accepted, embraced,
and normal in your own skin!
You'd find that deep,
lasting sense of happiness
that can only come with--
Well, don't talk her into it!
I'm not moving back.
I'm just having some fun
with my Oldsburg bestie.
I'm your bestie!
Zina, what the heck!
- Oh, this? I installed
a trap door weeks ago.
Getting a construction permit
from the city was a nightmare,
but this thing is solid.
Next question: why?
- For emergencies like this,
baby squirrel.
Courtney is a level five hater.
And like me after I drink eight
glasses of water,
she's got to go.
- Zina, you don't need to be
jealous of Courtney.
Zina don't get jealous, love.
Zina makes things right.
- Well, I have the right
to two besties.
- Time-out.
Two best friends?
That's the stupidest idea
I've ever heard!
- She's lost it.
- I'm right here.
- You know what, Z?
This is gonna be easy.
A level five hater
will hate on anything.
She'll reveal her true colors
and Viv and Roy
will come crawling back
to Zina!
- Zina, we can hear every--
And now to the Zina cave.
Just going to quietly
sneak out--
[clattering]
Shh.
[clattering]
Dang it.
[jazzy music]
♪ ♪
Like I was never here.
[rustling]
Ah!
I fell in a bush!
- Okay, I'm gonna go
check on Courtney
and exit the room
like a normal person.
- Exiting the room
like a normal person?
Shut it all down.
Viv's halfway to Oldsburg
by now!
Oldsburg is three hours away.
Oh, she's gone, baby!
- Look, if we can make Courtney
actually like Dimmsdale,
she'll stop dishing out
the Hater-ade
and trying to get Viv to move
back to Oldsburg.
- Maybe Courtney
will like Carnavàl.
- [snaps fingers]
- Love that.
Wanda, you're so smort.
- Will no one free me
from this bush?
[jazzy music]
- Ladies and jellyfish,
boys and pearls,
on behalf of the mayor,
let the "Unda Da Sea" Carnavàl
begin!
[cheers and applause]
- Is Dimmsdale's mayor
an actual baby?
- I guess it is illogical,
isn't it?
Infantile, some might say.
[baby crying]
[girls chuckling]
- You hurt the mayor's
feelings.
Shame on you.
♪ Hush, little mayor,
don't you cry ♪
♪ You won the vote
in a huge landslide ♪
What it do, ladies?
- Why are you carrying around
your goldfish?
- They're my...
emotional support fish!
Hey, here's a fun idea.
Let's forget about my fish
by enjoying
some of Carnavàl's
greatest attractions.
Such as the food!
Come along.
Yar!
Here be your fried
mayonnaise balls.
With extra-hot mayo on top.
That's positively repulsive.
I'll pass.
- Well, you "mayo may not"
like mayo balls,
but I know you'll love
the Carnavàl games.
Come along.
[seagull squawks]
- All right, mateys,
this game be complicated.
You take one of these here
devil's drawings
from the Dimmsonian
Museum of History,
crumple it up
as hard as ye can,
maybe spit on it,
then toss it in the fish tank.
Drawing goes in--
winner, prize, et cetera.
Drawing misses tank,
loser walk the plank.
Yada, yada, yada.
Is there actually a plank?
Oh, thar be a plank.
You wanna play or not?
- I'm sorry, sir, but this
is a crude destruction
of priceless history.
- And us native Oldsburgians
call these maps,
and we would never
spit on them.
"Native Oldsburgian"?
Oh, this is bad.
Oh, I feel disconnected!
I need a Family Circle!
- No, no, no, Roy.
Roy, I really don't want to!
- Did someone say
"Family Circle?"
Bring it in.
together: ♪ I see you ♪
♪ I smell you ♪
I'm actually good! Thanks.
- [whispering]
Ty, she broke Family Circle.
What if she doesn't show up
for the float?
- We need four people.
- She'll show, sweetie.
You want the ball?
- Ball!
- [grunts]
That'll keep her busy
for hours.
Sup, bestie, boyfriend,
[in growling voice]
And Courtney!
- Hey.
- Oops.
Sometimes these tentacles
just gotta slap a hater.
Stop it!
Viv, can we leave?
I'm in the mood for something
aquatic and artistic,
as opposed to fishy and trashy.
- [gasps]
Let's go watch...
both: "Codzillard!"
- But I have to hit
the wash closet first.
You know, I have to go too.
- You know what you
actually have to go to?
Oldsburg's Scone Festival
for the entire month of June.
I'd love to.
both:
There's no place like Scone.
[haughty laughter]
Zina, you were right.
Courtney is a level-five hater
and she's turning Viv into one.
If we don't do something,
and I mean something,
she's gonna move back
to Oldsburg.
- Mm, so you don't have a crush
on her anymore?
- Oh, we got off that crush
thing a long time ago.
[sighs]
Then I can finally
relax enough to pee.
Wait for me, ladies.
Taking off this costume
is a three-person job.
Hello, Dimmsdale.
Looking for a tango
that's bango for your buck?
Well, you're in luck.
Waltz on down to
the Fancy Dance Dance Studio...
- website.
- And enter the code...
"Carnavàl."
For one tango.
- Free on--
- On us.
- Hey, guys,
I gotta find some way
for Dimmsdale
to impress Courtney
before Viv goes
full-time Dimmsdale hater.
Whatcha need, kiddo?
- Viv and Courtney love
that "Codzillard" movie, right?
Yes, and I'm not sure why.
Codzillard's clearly just
a person in a monster suit.
- Yeah.
- Knocking down fake buildings
that are built small
so that any idiot will believe
that Codzillard is huge.
Those buildings are fake?
- And they try to sell it
by showing people
pointing up at the sky
and saying,
"It's a fish. It's a monster.
It's Codzillard!"
I trusted those people.
Well, whatever.
I wish that Codzillard
would come to Dimmsdale.
- Roy, this feels like
an impulse wish.
Do you know what Codzillard
does to cities?
Done!
- I have no idea
what Codzillard does to--
[loud rumbling]
[dramatic music]
[rumbling continues]
♪ ♪
It's a fish!
It's a monster!
It's a fish monster!
♪ ♪
[helicopter whirring]
[growls menacingly]
[all screaming]
That...was an impulse wish.
[all screaming]
[dramatic music]
[helicopter whirring]
♪ ♪
- [all screaming]
- Everybody, calm down!
It's just
a gigantic fish monster.
It's not like it's dangerous
or whatever.
[thunderous crash]
- That was dangerous
or whatever.
Flee for your lives!
[all screaming]
♪ ♪
This be bad.
It sure be, sport.
In "Codzillard,"
he goes around Tokyo
destroying the entire city
looking for fresh fish to eat.
- Oh, no.
I'm fish.
And I'm fresh.
Hey, good lookin'.
- Not the time to get fresh,
Cosmo.
We've got bigger fish to fry.
Okay.
When Viv gets back,
we'll just have her wish
Codzillard away.
Easy peasy.
And now,
simply to raise the roof.
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ Go me ♪
♪ I got fairies ♪
[light chime]
And they're gone.
[gargling]
[Cosmo and Wanda scream]
Fresh fish!
But wait, anything but fresh
fish makes me throw up.
[monstrous burp]
- [laughs]
Killer aim.
Is that Codzillard?
- Uh...
[laughs]
Yeah, we go really hard
at Carnavàl.
The theme is "Unda Da Sea!"
Buildings get destroyed
as part of the show.
It's a whole thing.
Pretty impressive, huh?
- Uh...excuse us.
[laughs]
- But what am I supposed--
Go look at maps.
You love maps.
She's not wrong.
[wind howling]
What did you do?
- I wanted Courtney to be
impressed by Dimmsdale
so she'd stop
making you wanna leave.
So I impulsively wished
for Codzillard to appear.
And now it swallowed
Cosmo and Wanda
and burped out their wands.
Oh, my God!
- I know,
I'm a big Dimmsdale dummy.
Oldsburg's better,
yadda, yadda, yadda.
- No, I was gonna say
that was actually really sweet.
- It was?
[soft music]
'Cause now to be honest
with you, for a second there,
I really thought
you weren't gonna--
- Okay, let's pick up
this genuine moment later
because we need to deal
with Codzillard.
[helicopter whirring]
Oh, yeah.
So what are we gonna do?
Uh...
[mysterious music]
Dear, Wand...
[bright chiming]
Just this once,
if you wouldn't mind,
perchance, do you think you
could get rid of Codzillard
and turn everything back
to normal somehow?
[chiming continues]
Please?
[magical fizzing]
both: Ruh-roh.
- That's odd.
My body is growing
as well as my anger
for Codzillard.
- Is this show going
to get any more exciting?
- [distant rumbling]
- Yeah, I think it just did.
[dramatic music]
Uh...fight?
[grunts]
♪ ♪
[screams]
Ow, that hurt my face!
[grunts]
[glass shattering]
[grunting]
♪ ♪
- Oh, my God,
they're heading straight
for the abandoned
Dimmsdale Auto Square!
[metal crushing]
[car alarms ringing]
Ah!
♪ ♪
Oh, no!
Now they're going straight into
the Dimmsdale Fog District.
Fog District?
Who would wanna live there?
No one, thank goodness.
'Cause there's monsters!
- Ow!
- Stop hitting yourself.
- Stop it, that's my tentacle.
- Stop hitting yourself.
- Stop hitting yourself.
- Codzillard is using
Zina's own tentacles
against her.
- If he knocks her down,
she'll land on us!
I got it.
Codzillard famously only eats
fresh fish.
If we can get Zina to feed him
some of Carnavàl's disgusting
fried food,
he'll yack up Cosmo and Wanda.
Smort.
Zina!
- Time-out!
- Eh, gotta respect a time-out.
Yes, my sweet Roy?
- Feed Codzillard
some fried mayo balls!
Sure.
♪ ♪
Open wide.
- But you didn't say "time-in!"
♪ ♪
[loud swallowing]
[gagging]
I'm gonna yack.
[gurgling]
[both exclaim]
Ha, killer aim.
I wish Codzillard got sent off
to Jupiter's stankiest moon.
- And I was Zina were back
to her normal size.
[wands chiming]
- [screams]
[magical popping]
Bravo, bravo.
What a show.
They must've had a monster
budget for Carnavàl this year.
[hesitant applause]
What just happened?
- The mayonnaise
in the mayo balls
has clearly gone narsty.
And made everyone see stuff.
- Oh, that makes perfect sense.
No notes.
- Actually,
none of it made sense.
The scale was all off.
In the movie, Codzillard
fought a giant squid,
not a giant
teenage girl-octopus.
And furthermore,
your life in Dimmsdale
makes no sense.
Your new friend
is a total weirdo.
Your stepmom acts like a dog
and your father indulges her.
- [barks]
- [laughs]
- And your stepbrother
is an obnoxious,
impulsive bedwetter.
- You know what,
you're right, bestie.
Thank you.
Oh, I wasn't talking to you.
I was talking
to my real bestie, Zina.
Courtney,
you're a level-five hater.
And this "bedwetter--"
- Occasional.
- Occasional bedwetter
bent over backwards
to show you a great time.
And that reminds me how great
the people of Dimmsdale are.
Quirks and all.
Thanks, Viv.
So you know what, Courtney?
Why don't you go ahead
and kick rocks?
[audience gasps]
- You really expect me
to kick rocks?
[cuffs clinking]
- I'm afraid Roy's right,
Courtney.
You can't be serious.
By orders of the mayor,
all haters must kick rocks
out of Dimmsdale
and back to wherever the chis
they came from.
Haters kick rocks!
[all chanting]
Haters kick rocks!
Haters kick rocks!
Haters kick rocks!
Haters kick rocks!
Haters kick rocks!
Haters kick rocks!
[upbeat music]
What?
Is something wrong
with my costume?
Nah.
Just glad you're back.
Thought I was gonna lose you
to Oldsburg.
Never.
Really?
I need a Family Circle!
- Did someone say
"Family Circle"?
Bring it in.
together: ♪ I see you ♪
♪ I smell you ♪
♪ I need you ♪
♪ Family ♪
[all sniff]
[exhale deeply]
Hey, I feel connected.
Oh, Viv.
You look like a piece of poop.
Float time.
Ooh.
♪ ♪
Roy!
Pick me up!
- I can't!
The float is already moving!
It's moving so slowly!
I'm sorry, I can't hear you!
You're like three feet away!
- I'll pick you up
when we circle back!
Okay.
Roll out of the way!
There's another float coming!
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[heroic fanfare]
[whirring, bubbling]
What time is it?
all: It's time to meet
the fish! Whoo!
♪ I'm a swordfish ♪
♪ Check out my long,
pointy bill ♪
♪ I'm a starfish ♪
♪ And boy,
I love to eat krill ♪
- ♪ I'm a jellyfish,
I'll sting you real good ♪
♪ But you won't die ♪
- ♪ I'm a sea cucumber,
an echinoderm ♪
♪ From the class
Holothuroidea ♪
♪ I breathe from my butt ♪
- ♪ And I look-- ♪
- Cut!
What did I tell you after
yesterday's rehearsal?
You said, "Be better,"
then you barked at me
and stormed out.
[barks loudly]
- Rachel, Rachel, Rachel,
Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.
- Do you need a Family Circle?
- Yeah.
I'm feeling really
disconnected right now.
- Yeah.
- Bring it in.
together: ♪ I see you ♪
♪ I smell you ♪
♪ I need you ♪
♪ Family ♪
[all exhale]
Okay, I'm better now.
- Roy, Rachel's being
extra barky today.
Is she always like this before
the Dimmsdale Carnival?
It's pronounced "Carnavàl,"
and you need a family of four
to be on a Carnavàl float.
Now that you and your dad
are here,
my mom finally gets
to perform on one.
So, barky.
- That's why she's drinking
water out of a dog bowl.
Good girl. Oh.
Oh, not too much.
You're gonna throw it up!
- Okay, I get that this
Carnavàl float
is a big deal to Rachel,
but was the 4:00 a.m. call time
really necessary?
[yawns]
- Well, according to
the schedule,
it's the only way to run
the float dance 57 more times
before 2:00.
[inhales sharply] Yikes, we
are not gonna make our day.
Guys, we gotta talk!
- Okay, while you all
figure that out,
I'm just going to...
[all chattering]
Okay, nobody's listening.
Go talk to my magical fairies
because Roy and I have fairies!
Oh, fairies!
Can you guys help me get out
of this rehearsal?
My feet are killing me.
- What do you have in mind,
kiddo?
We're in the business
of granting wishes,
not coming up with them.
Wait!
[clattering]
I present to you, Da Wheel!
Da wheel is a spin-a-ma-jig
that can help you
come up with stuff
when you can't think of stuff.
This one's filled with all
sorts of classic sitcom excuses
like, "boss is coming
to dinner,"
or, "friend visiting
from out of town,"
or, "your Uncle Tony needs help
hiding a"--
- A friend visiting from out of
town sounds like a great idea.
- You don't wanna
spin Da Wheel?
- No need.
I've actually been missing
my best friend
from Oldsburg, Courtney.
But it's a wheel!
It needs to be spun or it loses
its sense of self!
[clattering]
[cat yowls]
- I wish Courtney would
come visit me
in Dimmsdale right now,
and not question
how she got here
or why she's here.
Done!
- Viv!
- Courtney!
You're here for a visit!
Indeed I am, darling.
And I have no questions beyond
why are you dressed like
a piece of excrement?
I'm a sea cucumber.
Ah, an echinoderm from the...
both: Class Holothuroidea!
Oh, I missed you so much.
- Viv, if we're gonna
make our day,
we're gonna have to--pretty.
I mean, beautiful.
I mean, Roy's the name.
Peeing my PJs when I have
a bad dream is my game.
Why?
- Um, Courtney, this is
my new step-brother Roy.
Roy, this is my best friend
Courtney from Oldsburg.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
- Hey. I was mid-bubble bath
when my Zina Senses
started tingling.
I felt my entire reason
for living being torn asunder.
- Zina, this is my best friend
from Oldsburg, Courtney.
- I thought I was your bestie,
bestie.
- Well, I think that under
the right circumstances,
boogers taste good.
Why?
- Time-out.
Zina, honey, this is bad.
- Uh, just 'cause you said
"time-out" doesn't mean--
- Roy only blurts out
embarrassing confessions
like that
when he has a huge crush.
We're right here.
- Keep your cool when you
go back, baby girl.
- Does she really think
that we can't--
- Time-in.
So what was your name again,
hon?
- Courtney.
- Pretty!
[screams]
It's been a real pleasure.
Love your shoes.
Ugliest shoe's I've seen
in my entire life.
- Is everyone in Dimmsdale
this strange?
Kids, we need to rehearse
the birth scene
of the float dance.
I can't lay eggs
out of my mouth
and sit on them
at the same time.
- I've seen her try.
It's real messy.
- Courtney.
- Hi.
You got your braces off.
Hey, tell your dad
I still hate him.
You got it, Mr. Turner.
Bootios, studio now.
- But my best friend's
in town.
- Well, that's an excuse
I'll buy every time!
Places!
Take your places!
- That's my mom.
She still tucks me in at night
and checks under the bed
for monsters.
Why?
- So wanna come see
my new bedroom?
- You could say anywhere else
in the world
and my answer would be yes!
[jazzy music]
- Check out Viv's first
Hornet Day.
- Is that a swarm of hornets
holding a young man aloft?
Yeah.
- Ol' Gus is queen
of the hornets now.
Ooh, that reminds me.
I have a fresh vat
of hornet soup
chillaxing in the fridge.
Would love to give you
a little "tarste."
Ew.
- It's surprisingly "tarsty."
- Be right back.
Emphasis on "back" because
mine is shockingly hairy.
Why?
I love you.
Why?
[jazzy music]
♪ ♪
- Ugh.
Thank goodness he's gone.
Roy's really great.
He's just being weird
'cause he has a crush on you.
- It's not him.
It's all of Dimmsdale.
Everyone in your life here
is a little...off.
You get used to it.
- It frightens me
to hear you say that
because you shouldn't
get used to it.
You're like me.
We like the finer things.
Like collecting old maps.
- In Dimmsdale,
they do call maps
"the devil's drawings."
- Lord, what fools these
Dimmsdalians be.
- No one talks Shakespeare
here with me in Dimmsdale.
Between you and me,
I do kind of miss Oldsburg.
- Well, you can always
come back.
That might be nice.
You'll love this:
they finally outlawed fedoras.
- [gasps]
- Why?
[brassy music]
- ♪ She's a stranger from afar
and he's a local star ♪
♪ And now they're family ♪
♪ And they have OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪
- ♪ Normal floaty fish ♪
- ♪ Until we grant your wish ♪
- ♪ OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪
♪ New shirt, blue skirt,
instant dessert ♪
♪ Swim wear, lazy chair ♪
♪ Chocolate square,
time to share ♪
♪ Gold throne, clear phone ♪
♪ Dino bone, silly clone ♪
- ♪ OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪
♪ It flips your lid
when you are a kid ♪
♪ With Fairly OddParents! ♪
♪ In real life ♪
[brassy music]
- And on Fridays at
the Oldsburg Outdoor Library
and Fancy Cheese Farm, they do
a classic movie screening.
Guess what Tokusatsu film
is next week.
- It's a fish!
- It's a monster!
both: It's Codzillard!
- Ugh. I feel like people
in Dimmsdale haven't even
heard of "Codzillard."
- [whispering]
She's gonna leave Dimmsdale
and move back to Oldsburg
where she fits in.
- Ah! That means she wouldn't
need us anymore.
- Way to connect those dots,
sweetie.
- Thanks. I'm--um,
what's the word for not dumb?
"Smort?" Yeah, that's it.
- I'm gonna go use
the wash closet.
- Okay, cool.
- This is your chance.
Go talk to Viv.
- That's the smort thing to do.
- You're right.
Doopity doopity doopity doo.
Just entering now.
Not having eavesdropped at all.
Enjoy that wash closet,
Courtney.
Uh, thanks?
Yeah, don't mention it.
Viv, you can't leave Dimmsdale.
- Yeah. If you moved back
to Oldsburg,
then you wouldn't
need us anymore
because you'd fit in
and feel accepted, embraced,
and normal in your own skin!
You'd find that deep,
lasting sense of happiness
that can only come with--
Well, don't talk her into it!
I'm not moving back.
I'm just having some fun
with my Oldsburg bestie.
I'm your bestie!
Zina, what the heck!
- Oh, this? I installed
a trap door weeks ago.
Getting a construction permit
from the city was a nightmare,
but this thing is solid.
Next question: why?
- For emergencies like this,
baby squirrel.
Courtney is a level five hater.
And like me after I drink eight
glasses of water,
she's got to go.
- Zina, you don't need to be
jealous of Courtney.
Zina don't get jealous, love.
Zina makes things right.
- Well, I have the right
to two besties.
- Time-out.
Two best friends?
That's the stupidest idea
I've ever heard!
- She's lost it.
- I'm right here.
- You know what, Z?
This is gonna be easy.
A level five hater
will hate on anything.
She'll reveal her true colors
and Viv and Roy
will come crawling back
to Zina!
- Zina, we can hear every--
And now to the Zina cave.
Just going to quietly
sneak out--
[clattering]
Shh.
[clattering]
Dang it.
[jazzy music]
♪ ♪
Like I was never here.
[rustling]
Ah!
I fell in a bush!
- Okay, I'm gonna go
check on Courtney
and exit the room
like a normal person.
- Exiting the room
like a normal person?
Shut it all down.
Viv's halfway to Oldsburg
by now!
Oldsburg is three hours away.
Oh, she's gone, baby!
- Look, if we can make Courtney
actually like Dimmsdale,
she'll stop dishing out
the Hater-ade
and trying to get Viv to move
back to Oldsburg.
- Maybe Courtney
will like Carnavàl.
- [snaps fingers]
- Love that.
Wanda, you're so smort.
- Will no one free me
from this bush?
[jazzy music]
- Ladies and jellyfish,
boys and pearls,
on behalf of the mayor,
let the "Unda Da Sea" Carnavàl
begin!
[cheers and applause]
- Is Dimmsdale's mayor
an actual baby?
- I guess it is illogical,
isn't it?
Infantile, some might say.
[baby crying]
[girls chuckling]
- You hurt the mayor's
feelings.
Shame on you.
♪ Hush, little mayor,
don't you cry ♪
♪ You won the vote
in a huge landslide ♪
What it do, ladies?
- Why are you carrying around
your goldfish?
- They're my...
emotional support fish!
Hey, here's a fun idea.
Let's forget about my fish
by enjoying
some of Carnavàl's
greatest attractions.
Such as the food!
Come along.
Yar!
Here be your fried
mayonnaise balls.
With extra-hot mayo on top.
That's positively repulsive.
I'll pass.
- Well, you "mayo may not"
like mayo balls,
but I know you'll love
the Carnavàl games.
Come along.
[seagull squawks]
- All right, mateys,
this game be complicated.
You take one of these here
devil's drawings
from the Dimmsonian
Museum of History,
crumple it up
as hard as ye can,
maybe spit on it,
then toss it in the fish tank.
Drawing goes in--
winner, prize, et cetera.
Drawing misses tank,
loser walk the plank.
Yada, yada, yada.
Is there actually a plank?
Oh, thar be a plank.
You wanna play or not?
- I'm sorry, sir, but this
is a crude destruction
of priceless history.
- And us native Oldsburgians
call these maps,
and we would never
spit on them.
"Native Oldsburgian"?
Oh, this is bad.
Oh, I feel disconnected!
I need a Family Circle!
- No, no, no, Roy.
Roy, I really don't want to!
- Did someone say
"Family Circle?"
Bring it in.
together: ♪ I see you ♪
♪ I smell you ♪
I'm actually good! Thanks.
- [whispering]
Ty, she broke Family Circle.
What if she doesn't show up
for the float?
- We need four people.
- She'll show, sweetie.
You want the ball?
- Ball!
- [grunts]
That'll keep her busy
for hours.
Sup, bestie, boyfriend,
[in growling voice]
And Courtney!
- Hey.
- Oops.
Sometimes these tentacles
just gotta slap a hater.
Stop it!
Viv, can we leave?
I'm in the mood for something
aquatic and artistic,
as opposed to fishy and trashy.
- [gasps]
Let's go watch...
both: "Codzillard!"
- But I have to hit
the wash closet first.
You know, I have to go too.
- You know what you
actually have to go to?
Oldsburg's Scone Festival
for the entire month of June.
I'd love to.
both:
There's no place like Scone.
[haughty laughter]
Zina, you were right.
Courtney is a level-five hater
and she's turning Viv into one.
If we don't do something,
and I mean something,
she's gonna move back
to Oldsburg.
- Mm, so you don't have a crush
on her anymore?
- Oh, we got off that crush
thing a long time ago.
[sighs]
Then I can finally
relax enough to pee.
Wait for me, ladies.
Taking off this costume
is a three-person job.
Hello, Dimmsdale.
Looking for a tango
that's bango for your buck?
Well, you're in luck.
Waltz on down to
the Fancy Dance Dance Studio...
- website.
- And enter the code...
"Carnavàl."
For one tango.
- Free on--
- On us.
- Hey, guys,
I gotta find some way
for Dimmsdale
to impress Courtney
before Viv goes
full-time Dimmsdale hater.
Whatcha need, kiddo?
- Viv and Courtney love
that "Codzillard" movie, right?
Yes, and I'm not sure why.
Codzillard's clearly just
a person in a monster suit.
- Yeah.
- Knocking down fake buildings
that are built small
so that any idiot will believe
that Codzillard is huge.
Those buildings are fake?
- And they try to sell it
by showing people
pointing up at the sky
and saying,
"It's a fish. It's a monster.
It's Codzillard!"
I trusted those people.
Well, whatever.
I wish that Codzillard
would come to Dimmsdale.
- Roy, this feels like
an impulse wish.
Do you know what Codzillard
does to cities?
Done!
- I have no idea
what Codzillard does to--
[loud rumbling]
[dramatic music]
[rumbling continues]
♪ ♪
It's a fish!
It's a monster!
It's a fish monster!
♪ ♪
[helicopter whirring]
[growls menacingly]
[all screaming]
That...was an impulse wish.
[all screaming]
[dramatic music]
[helicopter whirring]
♪ ♪
- [all screaming]
- Everybody, calm down!
It's just
a gigantic fish monster.
It's not like it's dangerous
or whatever.
[thunderous crash]
- That was dangerous
or whatever.
Flee for your lives!
[all screaming]
♪ ♪
This be bad.
It sure be, sport.
In "Codzillard,"
he goes around Tokyo
destroying the entire city
looking for fresh fish to eat.
- Oh, no.
I'm fish.
And I'm fresh.
Hey, good lookin'.
- Not the time to get fresh,
Cosmo.
We've got bigger fish to fry.
Okay.
When Viv gets back,
we'll just have her wish
Codzillard away.
Easy peasy.
And now,
simply to raise the roof.
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ Go me ♪
♪ I got fairies ♪
[light chime]
And they're gone.
[gargling]
[Cosmo and Wanda scream]
Fresh fish!
But wait, anything but fresh
fish makes me throw up.
[monstrous burp]
- [laughs]
Killer aim.
Is that Codzillard?
- Uh...
[laughs]
Yeah, we go really hard
at Carnavàl.
The theme is "Unda Da Sea!"
Buildings get destroyed
as part of the show.
It's a whole thing.
Pretty impressive, huh?
- Uh...excuse us.
[laughs]
- But what am I supposed--
Go look at maps.
You love maps.
She's not wrong.
[wind howling]
What did you do?
- I wanted Courtney to be
impressed by Dimmsdale
so she'd stop
making you wanna leave.
So I impulsively wished
for Codzillard to appear.
And now it swallowed
Cosmo and Wanda
and burped out their wands.
Oh, my God!
- I know,
I'm a big Dimmsdale dummy.
Oldsburg's better,
yadda, yadda, yadda.
- No, I was gonna say
that was actually really sweet.
- It was?
[soft music]
'Cause now to be honest
with you, for a second there,
I really thought
you weren't gonna--
- Okay, let's pick up
this genuine moment later
because we need to deal
with Codzillard.
[helicopter whirring]
Oh, yeah.
So what are we gonna do?
Uh...
[mysterious music]
Dear, Wand...
[bright chiming]
Just this once,
if you wouldn't mind,
perchance, do you think you
could get rid of Codzillard
and turn everything back
to normal somehow?
[chiming continues]
Please?
[magical fizzing]
both: Ruh-roh.
- That's odd.
My body is growing
as well as my anger
for Codzillard.
- Is this show going
to get any more exciting?
- [distant rumbling]
- Yeah, I think it just did.
[dramatic music]
Uh...fight?
[grunts]
♪ ♪
[screams]
Ow, that hurt my face!
[grunts]
[glass shattering]
[grunting]
♪ ♪
- Oh, my God,
they're heading straight
for the abandoned
Dimmsdale Auto Square!
[metal crushing]
[car alarms ringing]
Ah!
♪ ♪
Oh, no!
Now they're going straight into
the Dimmsdale Fog District.
Fog District?
Who would wanna live there?
No one, thank goodness.
'Cause there's monsters!
- Ow!
- Stop hitting yourself.
- Stop it, that's my tentacle.
- Stop hitting yourself.
- Stop hitting yourself.
- Codzillard is using
Zina's own tentacles
against her.
- If he knocks her down,
she'll land on us!
I got it.
Codzillard famously only eats
fresh fish.
If we can get Zina to feed him
some of Carnavàl's disgusting
fried food,
he'll yack up Cosmo and Wanda.
Smort.
Zina!
- Time-out!
- Eh, gotta respect a time-out.
Yes, my sweet Roy?
- Feed Codzillard
some fried mayo balls!
Sure.
♪ ♪
Open wide.
- But you didn't say "time-in!"
♪ ♪
[loud swallowing]
[gagging]
I'm gonna yack.
[gurgling]
[both exclaim]
Ha, killer aim.
I wish Codzillard got sent off
to Jupiter's stankiest moon.
- And I was Zina were back
to her normal size.
[wands chiming]
- [screams]
[magical popping]
Bravo, bravo.
What a show.
They must've had a monster
budget for Carnavàl this year.
[hesitant applause]
What just happened?
- The mayonnaise
in the mayo balls
has clearly gone narsty.
And made everyone see stuff.
- Oh, that makes perfect sense.
No notes.
- Actually,
none of it made sense.
The scale was all off.
In the movie, Codzillard
fought a giant squid,
not a giant
teenage girl-octopus.
And furthermore,
your life in Dimmsdale
makes no sense.
Your new friend
is a total weirdo.
Your stepmom acts like a dog
and your father indulges her.
- [barks]
- [laughs]
- And your stepbrother
is an obnoxious,
impulsive bedwetter.
- You know what,
you're right, bestie.
Thank you.
Oh, I wasn't talking to you.
I was talking
to my real bestie, Zina.
Courtney,
you're a level-five hater.
And this "bedwetter--"
- Occasional.
- Occasional bedwetter
bent over backwards
to show you a great time.
And that reminds me how great
the people of Dimmsdale are.
Quirks and all.
Thanks, Viv.
So you know what, Courtney?
Why don't you go ahead
and kick rocks?
[audience gasps]
- You really expect me
to kick rocks?
[cuffs clinking]
- I'm afraid Roy's right,
Courtney.
You can't be serious.
By orders of the mayor,
all haters must kick rocks
out of Dimmsdale
and back to wherever the chis
they came from.
Haters kick rocks!
[all chanting]
Haters kick rocks!
Haters kick rocks!
Haters kick rocks!
Haters kick rocks!
Haters kick rocks!
Haters kick rocks!
[upbeat music]
What?
Is something wrong
with my costume?
Nah.
Just glad you're back.
Thought I was gonna lose you
to Oldsburg.
Never.
Really?
I need a Family Circle!
- Did someone say
"Family Circle"?
Bring it in.
together: ♪ I see you ♪
♪ I smell you ♪
♪ I need you ♪
♪ Family ♪
[all sniff]
[exhale deeply]
Hey, I feel connected.
Oh, Viv.
You look like a piece of poop.
Float time.
Ooh.
♪ ♪
Roy!
Pick me up!
- I can't!
The float is already moving!
It's moving so slowly!
I'm sorry, I can't hear you!
You're like three feet away!
- I'll pick you up
when we circle back!
Okay.
Roll out of the way!
There's another float coming!
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[heroic fanfare]
[whirring, bubbling]