The Fairly OddParents (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Episode #1.8 - full transcript
[big band music]
Okay. Now...floss!
Get out of here, plaque!
The Stanky Chipmunk.
- Ooh, wee!
This chipmunk needs a bath!
The Viv.
I don't know that one.
No one does. Not yet.
- Baby girl, do I detect
a hint of mystique?
You detect correct.
I'm gonna debut The Viv
tonight at the school dance.
Major!
Can a bestie get
a sneak peek?
Okay, step one,
- you wanna bend--
- Hey!
You guys know
Hopper's girlfriend, Megan?
both: No.
- Well, you know how
she hates jelly?
- I don't know anything
about her.
Also, no.
- Well, you know how
she dumped Hopper this morning
on the day of the big dance
we're all stoked about
because she found out
Hopper likes jelly?
- I mean, you're ignoring
all our responses, so--
- Great!
Then you'll love this!
- ♪ I've got jelly on my belly
and it's on the telly ♪
all: ♪ He's got jelly on his
belly and it's on the telly ♪
- ♪ I got ♪
all: J-E-L-L-Y ♪
♪ Megan, you can
kiss his face goodbye ♪
Megan, come back. I'm sorry.
all: No, no, no, no!
- Don't tell her that.
- She doesn't like jelly.
Pretty tight little vid, huh?
Yeah. Take that, Megan.
Anyways, we should probably
start getting ready for tonight
when my life changes forever.
In the movies,
the school dance is where
the underestimated girl
gets her chance to shine
by dancing alone
in the middle of the room.
I'ma do The Viv.
[upbeat music]
And someone will say--
Cool dance, Viv!
I'll never
underestimate you again.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I have it all planned out.
I'ma be crowned king
of the dance
by a robot!
- Congratulations.
You are king of the dance.
And that's where I come in.
Everyone rises to their feet
as I enter
in a custom Vera Wang.
Roy's jaw drops.
- We are gathered here today
for the totally sick
yet tasteful wedding
of Zina and Roy.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
- Aw, you get so cranky
when you haven't eaten.
I'm gonna go get
my hangry boy a corndog.
- Okay,
so I'm assuming you used
Cosmo and Wanda to help you
fill the gym with jelly.
Solid guess.
- Did you also use them to help
you get rid of the jelly?
Define...
"Get rid of the jelly."
- Knock-knock, twerps!
- Oh! Um, what are you doing
in our house, Miss Vicky?
[laughs]
Buckle up for a long line.
I saw that jelly song
from you and your boys.
Tight little vid,
but I noticed it took place
in our school's gym,
so I slinked over
all suspicious-like.
Once I got there, I slipped
in red and purple jelly.
[yelping]
Every attempt to stand up,
I slipped again,
over and over
until I was forced
to roll out of there
causing even more jelly
to cover my person.
If it were anyone else,
I would point and laugh,
but it was me,
so I'm furious!
And that's why I'm...
canceling the school dance.
No, you can't do that!
Oh, I cans
and I dids.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to celebrate the fact
that I'm making a school
full of children miserable.
[cackling]
[clattering]
Ah!
I fell in a bush!
Where's my hangry boy?
- The school dance
was canceled.
- What?
[windows shatter]
[cat yowls]
This is the worst moment
of my entire life.
I have an idea.
How about we have the dance
at the Fancy Dance Dance Studio?
I happen to know the owner
and I happen to know,
he'll say, "Uh-yes."
Yes!
[all cheering]
Sorry. I meant no.
all: Aww!
Why not?
- School dances
are triggering for me
and I refuse to explain why.
Goodbye.
- Maybe we'll have
better luck with Rachel?
No, you won't.
[all scream]
I heard every word
as I was corning this dog
in the ticket booth
and the answer is
and always will be, "No."
- What if we--
- School dances
are triggering for me
and I refuse to explain why.
Goodbye.
- But I was gonna debut
my signature dance.
You're gonna make me bark.
Okay. Just, please?
[barking]
Don't cry, my love.
I have an idea.
Is she coming back?
Probably not.
But I have an idea
that's actually gonna work.
Cosmo? Wanda?
Hey, kiddos.
Sounds like that jelly
put you in a jam.
- I love jam.
Salty, crunchy, peanut buttery.
- You're talking
about peanut butter.
No, no.
I'm talking
about that brown stuff
that's called peanut butter.
Oh! You know, I am
talking about peanut butter.
- Okay, can I wish for Ty
to change his mind
about having
the school dance here?
- Mind control
goes against the rules.
Would, uh,
this change
Da Rules' mind?
- Honey, that's an old
string cheese,
and bribery
also goes against the rules.
- Oh, man!
The rules don't rule at all!
[window shatters]
[cat yowls]
I still want that cheese!
It's about time.
Zina, how'd you get in here?
- I had keys made.
Please sit.
- What are all these
dusty rectangles doing here?
- Roy, honey,
they're old yearbooks.
- Oh, yeah!
[chuckles]
- Now, looky-looky
in this booky-booky.
Exhibit A, the 1996
Dimmsdale High School dance.
Is that my dad and Rachel?
I barely recognize them.
- Are they in the Fancy Dance
Dance Studio?
- No, that's a very similar
looking dance studio
down the street
that got closed down
because the owner got eaten
by his mongoose.
- What?
- Sorry, sorry, mongeese.
There were several.
That's...disturbing.
Anyways,
our parents look so happy.
Not so fast, baba.
- Peep Exhibit B,
where B stands for breakup.
"Couples in Memorium"?
- They clearly broke up
that night.
Oh!
Well, that must be why my dad
has such bad association
with school dances.
["Wedding March" playing]
- Rats! I have my final
wedding dress fitting.
You guys better fix this.
Yes, Vera, I'm traveling now
and I'll be there...
♪ On time ♪
Traveling!
Time!
Ho-ho, Roy,
you are onto something.
Cosmo! Wanda!
Hey!
- I wish we could
travel back in time
to the dance
where my Mom dumped Ty
and stop that from happening.
- Aww.
- I love it!
You do?
This is huge!
- Uh, time travel
can get a little sticky.
- Messing with
your parents' relationship
might cause some serious
side effects for the future.
- Yeah, you can accidentally
step on an ant
and that ant
was going to be president.
But now it can't be president
on account of your shoe.
Great job, guys.
Now the Earth is at this war
with the moon.
- We're not gonna step
on any ants.
- You better not.
I love the moon!
- What we're gonna do is make
sure that my Dad and Rachel
don't break up
at this particular dance,
so they let us have our dance
at their studio.
- King of the dance
crowned by robot guy,
here I come!
- Approval from my peers
via dance, here I come!
Poof it.
[wands chiming]
[scooter revving]
both: Cool!
- May I present to you
the Time Scooter.
Just hop on and tell it where
and when you want to go.
both: Yay!
- And when you want
to bring it back,
just say,
"Scooty-scooty, come-come."
- Really?
- Really, really. Yes, yes.
- [laughs]
Uh...
- Take us to the 1996
Dimmsdale High School Dance!
[controller whirring]
[tires screeching]
[laughs]
[foreboding music]
[brakes screech]
[upbeat music playing]
♪ ♪
[tires screeching]
Did it work?
We in the '90s?
Hey, guy. What year is it?
- Does this answer
your question?
Cowabunga! Shwing!
Eat my shorts.
- Is that English?
- Why would I eat your shorts?
It's 1996.
both: Whoo!
- ♪ She's a stranger from afar
and he's a local star ♪
♪ And now they're family ♪
♪ And they have OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪
- ♪ Normal floaty fish ♪
- ♪ Until we grant your wish ♪
- ♪ OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪
♪ New shirt, blue skirt,
instant dessert ♪
♪ Swim wear, lazy chair ♪
♪ Chocolate square,
time to share ♪
♪ Gold throne, clear phone ♪
♪ Dino bone, silly clone ♪
- ♪ OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪
♪ It flips your lid
when you are a kid ♪
♪ With Fairly OddParents! ♪
♪ In real life ♪
[upbeat music playing]
♪ ♪
Well, teenagers in the '90s
look way older
than teenagers now.
Yeah.
I think it had something
to do with milk.
Okay, here's the plan.
In and out
as quickly as possible.
Welcome to my dance studio.
You guys wanna see a picture
of my mongoose?
Sorry, sorry, mongeese.
There are several.
- Oh, my God!
Those mongeese are gonna--
- Live long and a happy life
just like...you.
Excuse us.
Later.
Ah, should really start
feeding those guys
and stop taunting them
at some point.
[chuckles]
What are they gonna do?
Eat me? Huh!
- We can't alter anything
about the past, remember?
Yeah, you're right.
Look!
There's my Dad and Rachel.
[Los Del Río's "Macarena"
playing]
- Promise you'll never stop
dancing with me?
- Cross my heart
and hope to Ty.
[Aqua's "Barbie Girl" plays]
Oh, snap! This is the jam
I dance to with my guys.
Ty's guys.
all: Ty, Ty, Ty, Ty!
- Sorry, babe.
This is more of a guy song.
- But you crossed your heart
and hoped to Ty.
Sorry, babe.
Whoa!
♪ In a fantasy world ♪
It's all happening.
- I'm gonna go talk to Rachel.
- Perfect.
- I'll distract Ty.
- How?
- Ty, Ty, Ty, Ty!
- Oh, sick! A new guy.
Come dance with us, rug rat.
- ♪ Come on, Barbie,
let's go party ♪
♪ Ah, ah, ah, yeah ♪
[sobbing]
I hate the '90s.
- Hey, Ray-Ray.
Who are you?
You look super young.
Do you even drink milk?
Uh, soy milk.
Soy milk?
Like, Spanish for
"I am milk"?
- Um--
- Well, listen up, Milk.
I'm about to break up
with my boyfriend, Ty.
So go be a part of a balanced
breakfast somewhere else.
- Well, have you ever thought
about not breaking up with him?
- What are you driving at,
Milk?
Well...
Ty clearly takes his friendship
with his guys seriously,
which ultimately
is a great quality.
You're right.
He is an amazing kisser!
Oh, that's so gross.
Thanks for your advice, Milk.
Yo, Ty!
Let's make up with our mouths.
That was easy.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh!
Did they make up?
With their mouths.
I saw it with my eyes.
Ew, well,
let's get back
to the present.
Scooty, scooty, come, come.
[tires squealing]
Living room, present day.
[tires screech]
[dramatic music]
[brakes screech]
[tires squeal]
Hey. Looks like we did it.
- Oh, yeah,
we for sure did it,
but, uh, time travel really
makes ya boy "hungy."
I could go for one
of my mom's famous corn dogs.
- Who wants one
of my famous corn dogs?
- The handsomest boy
in Dimmsdale does.
Mom?
Mom?
Mommy!
Hm, that's weird.
I want corn dogs!
The handsomest boy in Dimmsdale,
me, Ty Turner, does.
- Ooh!
- Ooh! My body.
- Here's to never breaking up
since high school.
And most importantly...
both: Never having kids!
Let's enjoy these in our
attic-turned-corn-dog
eating room.
That's my room.
[both humming happily]
both: ♪ It's corn dog time ♪
- Okay, we might've
stepped on some ants.
Dang right, you did, kiddos.
- And I'm guessing
you didn't bring me back
any of that hormone-rich
'90s milk.
How am I supposed to balance
my breakfast now?
[scale creaks]
[window shatters]
[cat yowls]
I don't know what happened.
- What happened is we got them
so together
that they never broke up.
Oh!
So that means my mom
never met my dad in college.
And my dad never met my mom
at the Dimmsdale combination
Pizza Hat and Lightbulb store.
You know, I've always wondered,
who is your dad?
- Oh, this dancer
my mom met in college.
He lives in San Francisco
with his husband
and they run this adorable
cannoli shop.
Who's your dad?
Ty.
Oh, yeah!
- You two better get your
heinies back to the '90s
because we can't grant wishes
to kids that don't exist.
- And then get back
to the present
so you can win
that science fair.
- You mean go
to the school dance?
- No, no.
I mean science fair,
where you dance with your chums
and it's a school dance.
Oh, wait, I am talking
about a school dance.
Good luck.
Scooty, scooty, come, come.
We're doing this The Roy Way.
[tires squeal]
Back to the dance in the '90s
and super break up our parents.
- Roy, I don't think
that this is gonna work--
The Roy Way!
[R&B music playing]
I love you, Ty.
Nothing could ever
break us up.
- That's a boss
observation, babe.
- Talk to the hand 'cause the
face is too in love to listen.
[laughs]
[upbeat music playing]
So what's The Roy Way?
This is how we do it.
I'm gonna shout
the most dangerous phrase
that can be said in the '90s.
Dance Battle!
[crowd gasping]
I declare a dance battle
between Ty and Mommy.
I mean, Rachel!
Ty and Rachel.
[crowd cheering]
- Normally, we don't listen
to 12-year-olds.
- But he did declare
a dance battle.
- It is the '90s,
so we can't turn it down.
True that.
[crowd cheering]
♪ ♪
[crowd cheering]
♪ ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ ♪
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
She's too good,
12-year-old boy.
I can't beat her.
I'm only semi-semi professional.
- There's only one thing
you can do.
You gotta do...
the Slap Dragon.
- The Slap Dragon isn't
allowed in dance battles,
especially in school.
Ho ho!
You're not in
the dance battle.
Nah!
You're in the dance war!
Now release the Slap Dragon!
[crowd gasps]
♪ ♪
You can't do the Slap Dragon,
especially in a dance battle,
especially in school.
- Sorry, babe, I really hope
societal norms change,
but it's the '90s
and I can't lose to a chick.
[crowd gasps]
- Well, you're about to lose
this chick!
I am super breaking up with you!
♪ ♪
Scooty, scooty, come, come.
- I can't wait to see how
"tarsty" we made the present.
[explosions booming]
[tires screeching]
Dimmsdale went
from "tarsty,"
uh, to "narsty."
[distant booming]
Zina, I never thought
I'd say this,
but thank God you're, oh--
- Oh, no!
We don't exist again!
- Emperor Rachel,
I bring news from the front.
[dramatic militaristic music]
♪ ♪
[gagging]
Sorry, I burnt some corn dogs
in there.
Now then, Colonel Zina,
my favorite colonel,
what news of the dance war
do you bring me?
- Ty and his rebel forces
are planning to hit
"The Woah" at dawn.
- He's bringin' out
the big guns, I see.
Thank you for updating me
with this terrible news.
Now, moonwalk out of my sight.
- I walk the moon for you,
Emperor Rachel.
[smooth music]
- Don't get stuck
on the carpet.
♪ ♪
- Wow,
this new world is awesome!
Whose army should we join?
We don't exist.
Oh, yeah!
♪ ♪
What are we gonna do?
We need Wanda and Cosmo.
- What you need
is to exist again,
and so we can grant you wishes.
- You guys started a 20-year
dance war between Rachel and Ty.
- God, how can this
get any worse?
- That's my cue
to make it worse.
both: Jorgen Von Strangle!
That's right. It is I.
I ripped your puny universe
a new one
to inform Vivian and Roy
that if you don't fix
your little time travel poo poo
in the next hour,
I will be forced to reassign
Cosmo and Wanda
to kids who actually exist!
both: No!
Yes!
You have one hour.
That is the ticking clock.
Look at it tick!
- I can't lose
Wanda and Cosmo.
How will I brush my teeth?
With a toothbrush
like a normal person.
But you're right
that we can't lose them.
Scooty, scooty, come, come!
- To planny, planny,
plan, plan!
- We have one more shot
to get this right.
We have to break them up,
but make them agree
to remain friends.
How do we do that?
We do it The Viv Way.
What is The Viv Way?
I have no idea!
[upbeat music playing]
- In case you can't hear me
over the music,
I'm super breaking up with you!
- Man, Ty and Rachel
are always breaking up
and then getting back together
just like Fross and Frachel
in "Frams,"
the hit current TV show
in the '90s,
which is the decade
in which we are in.
"Frams." That's it!
We'll play the theme song
from "Frams,"
and distract them
from their dance battle,
while I do my signature
dance move, The Viv.
- The one
you were planning to do
at our school dance
in the present.
This story is tying up nicely.
I'll back you up.
♪ ♪
Everybody, stop!
all: Collaborate and listen.
Que pasa, Milk?
We're in the middle
of a dance battle!
- Can't you see?
- Sí, no la veas, Milk?
- Excuse me. Can you play
the theme song from "Frams"?
Yeah, I'll be there for you.
- Hit it!
- ♪ Friends come and go ♪
♪ But I'll always be true,
true together ♪
♪ We'll concentrate,
she'll take a break or two ♪
♪ Friends forever ♪
♪ Come on now,
you know what to do ♪
♪ It's all right 'cause
I got a friend in you ♪
[all booing]
- Why are you only dancing
in one place?
- That stunk!
It was all arms.
No, your kids are gonna love
watching these kinds of dances
on their phones.
- You can't watch something
on a phone.
This is the '90s!
[laughter]
- Boo you guys!
I'm goin' home!
[laughter]
[mellow music plays]
Don't be sad, beb.
The kids in the present
are gonna love The Viv.
- Uh, doy!
My dance moves are da bomb.
Look!
I brought you some punch.
Thanks.
I like punch.
I'm sorry, Rachel.
You know, watching that girl
who oddly looks like
a combination of me and Calista
from the combination Pizza Hat
and Lightbulb Store
do that terrible
futuristic dance,
it made me forget what we were
even dance battling about
in the first place.
- Oh, it was about--
Shh. We forgot.
Oh! Okay.
- How about we break up,
but this time we remain frams?
I'd like that.
♪ ♪
Frams.
- ♪ Come on! ♪
[upbeat music plays]
both: Whoa!
Let's get our fram on.
Oh, and hey,
maybe later on, down the line,
we can get back together
and open up a dance studio,
remarkably similar to this one.
I'd like that.
♪ ♪
[tires screeching]
[tires squealing]
Did it work?
Do we exist again?
Owie!
Why'd you do that?
- It didn't go through you.
We exist!
- Yeah, you could've
come to that conclusion
when you picked it up.
[winces]
Oh, yeah.
But that would be less funny.
Cosmo, Wanda, you're back!
And cuter than ever.
- Now, can we pretty please
agree to no more time travel?
- Sure.
No more time travel,
at least for this season.
[mischievous music]
- Hey, what are you guys doin'?
You got a dance to get to.
- both: We do?
- Why, of course!
The dance was canceled,
then you asked me to have it at
the Fancy Dance Dance Studio,
and I responded with
a resounding and unwavering yes!
- both: Yes.
- Now, Roy,
get that bootio in a suitio.
Viv, you get dressed up too.
I just don't have a good rhyme.
Ooh! I got it.
Viv, get into a gown
in order to get down.
Ah, you marvelous scribe,
you've done it again!
Viv!
- Hey, look, Roy's about to be
crowned the king of the dance.
I crown you
king of the Dimmsdale
Junior High Dance.
Roar!
[cheers and applause]
Well, it's not a robot,
but a tiger with a mustache
is still...
pretty cool.
[cheers and applause]
And as my first act as king,
I hereby declare
the debut of...
The Viv.
[mellow pop music]
♪ ♪
I love The Viv!
- Yeah, this is shaping up to
be a tight little win for her,
as long as nobody interrupts--
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
♪ All dressed for Roy ♪
Hello, my sweet king.
Uh, also,
as king of the Dimmsdale
Junior High Dance,
I declare we dance
and keep Zina away from me.
- [chuckles]
Men and commitment.
all: Whoa!
Megan, we're next!
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Okay. Now...floss!
Get out of here, plaque!
The Stanky Chipmunk.
- Ooh, wee!
This chipmunk needs a bath!
The Viv.
I don't know that one.
No one does. Not yet.
- Baby girl, do I detect
a hint of mystique?
You detect correct.
I'm gonna debut The Viv
tonight at the school dance.
Major!
Can a bestie get
a sneak peek?
Okay, step one,
- you wanna bend--
- Hey!
You guys know
Hopper's girlfriend, Megan?
both: No.
- Well, you know how
she hates jelly?
- I don't know anything
about her.
Also, no.
- Well, you know how
she dumped Hopper this morning
on the day of the big dance
we're all stoked about
because she found out
Hopper likes jelly?
- I mean, you're ignoring
all our responses, so--
- Great!
Then you'll love this!
- ♪ I've got jelly on my belly
and it's on the telly ♪
all: ♪ He's got jelly on his
belly and it's on the telly ♪
- ♪ I got ♪
all: J-E-L-L-Y ♪
♪ Megan, you can
kiss his face goodbye ♪
Megan, come back. I'm sorry.
all: No, no, no, no!
- Don't tell her that.
- She doesn't like jelly.
Pretty tight little vid, huh?
Yeah. Take that, Megan.
Anyways, we should probably
start getting ready for tonight
when my life changes forever.
In the movies,
the school dance is where
the underestimated girl
gets her chance to shine
by dancing alone
in the middle of the room.
I'ma do The Viv.
[upbeat music]
And someone will say--
Cool dance, Viv!
I'll never
underestimate you again.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I have it all planned out.
I'ma be crowned king
of the dance
by a robot!
- Congratulations.
You are king of the dance.
And that's where I come in.
Everyone rises to their feet
as I enter
in a custom Vera Wang.
Roy's jaw drops.
- We are gathered here today
for the totally sick
yet tasteful wedding
of Zina and Roy.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
- Aw, you get so cranky
when you haven't eaten.
I'm gonna go get
my hangry boy a corndog.
- Okay,
so I'm assuming you used
Cosmo and Wanda to help you
fill the gym with jelly.
Solid guess.
- Did you also use them to help
you get rid of the jelly?
Define...
"Get rid of the jelly."
- Knock-knock, twerps!
- Oh! Um, what are you doing
in our house, Miss Vicky?
[laughs]
Buckle up for a long line.
I saw that jelly song
from you and your boys.
Tight little vid,
but I noticed it took place
in our school's gym,
so I slinked over
all suspicious-like.
Once I got there, I slipped
in red and purple jelly.
[yelping]
Every attempt to stand up,
I slipped again,
over and over
until I was forced
to roll out of there
causing even more jelly
to cover my person.
If it were anyone else,
I would point and laugh,
but it was me,
so I'm furious!
And that's why I'm...
canceling the school dance.
No, you can't do that!
Oh, I cans
and I dids.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to celebrate the fact
that I'm making a school
full of children miserable.
[cackling]
[clattering]
Ah!
I fell in a bush!
Where's my hangry boy?
- The school dance
was canceled.
- What?
[windows shatter]
[cat yowls]
This is the worst moment
of my entire life.
I have an idea.
How about we have the dance
at the Fancy Dance Dance Studio?
I happen to know the owner
and I happen to know,
he'll say, "Uh-yes."
Yes!
[all cheering]
Sorry. I meant no.
all: Aww!
Why not?
- School dances
are triggering for me
and I refuse to explain why.
Goodbye.
- Maybe we'll have
better luck with Rachel?
No, you won't.
[all scream]
I heard every word
as I was corning this dog
in the ticket booth
and the answer is
and always will be, "No."
- What if we--
- School dances
are triggering for me
and I refuse to explain why.
Goodbye.
- But I was gonna debut
my signature dance.
You're gonna make me bark.
Okay. Just, please?
[barking]
Don't cry, my love.
I have an idea.
Is she coming back?
Probably not.
But I have an idea
that's actually gonna work.
Cosmo? Wanda?
Hey, kiddos.
Sounds like that jelly
put you in a jam.
- I love jam.
Salty, crunchy, peanut buttery.
- You're talking
about peanut butter.
No, no.
I'm talking
about that brown stuff
that's called peanut butter.
Oh! You know, I am
talking about peanut butter.
- Okay, can I wish for Ty
to change his mind
about having
the school dance here?
- Mind control
goes against the rules.
Would, uh,
this change
Da Rules' mind?
- Honey, that's an old
string cheese,
and bribery
also goes against the rules.
- Oh, man!
The rules don't rule at all!
[window shatters]
[cat yowls]
I still want that cheese!
It's about time.
Zina, how'd you get in here?
- I had keys made.
Please sit.
- What are all these
dusty rectangles doing here?
- Roy, honey,
they're old yearbooks.
- Oh, yeah!
[chuckles]
- Now, looky-looky
in this booky-booky.
Exhibit A, the 1996
Dimmsdale High School dance.
Is that my dad and Rachel?
I barely recognize them.
- Are they in the Fancy Dance
Dance Studio?
- No, that's a very similar
looking dance studio
down the street
that got closed down
because the owner got eaten
by his mongoose.
- What?
- Sorry, sorry, mongeese.
There were several.
That's...disturbing.
Anyways,
our parents look so happy.
Not so fast, baba.
- Peep Exhibit B,
where B stands for breakup.
"Couples in Memorium"?
- They clearly broke up
that night.
Oh!
Well, that must be why my dad
has such bad association
with school dances.
["Wedding March" playing]
- Rats! I have my final
wedding dress fitting.
You guys better fix this.
Yes, Vera, I'm traveling now
and I'll be there...
♪ On time ♪
Traveling!
Time!
Ho-ho, Roy,
you are onto something.
Cosmo! Wanda!
Hey!
- I wish we could
travel back in time
to the dance
where my Mom dumped Ty
and stop that from happening.
- Aww.
- I love it!
You do?
This is huge!
- Uh, time travel
can get a little sticky.
- Messing with
your parents' relationship
might cause some serious
side effects for the future.
- Yeah, you can accidentally
step on an ant
and that ant
was going to be president.
But now it can't be president
on account of your shoe.
Great job, guys.
Now the Earth is at this war
with the moon.
- We're not gonna step
on any ants.
- You better not.
I love the moon!
- What we're gonna do is make
sure that my Dad and Rachel
don't break up
at this particular dance,
so they let us have our dance
at their studio.
- King of the dance
crowned by robot guy,
here I come!
- Approval from my peers
via dance, here I come!
Poof it.
[wands chiming]
[scooter revving]
both: Cool!
- May I present to you
the Time Scooter.
Just hop on and tell it where
and when you want to go.
both: Yay!
- And when you want
to bring it back,
just say,
"Scooty-scooty, come-come."
- Really?
- Really, really. Yes, yes.
- [laughs]
Uh...
- Take us to the 1996
Dimmsdale High School Dance!
[controller whirring]
[tires screeching]
[laughs]
[foreboding music]
[brakes screech]
[upbeat music playing]
♪ ♪
[tires screeching]
Did it work?
We in the '90s?
Hey, guy. What year is it?
- Does this answer
your question?
Cowabunga! Shwing!
Eat my shorts.
- Is that English?
- Why would I eat your shorts?
It's 1996.
both: Whoo!
- ♪ She's a stranger from afar
and he's a local star ♪
♪ And now they're family ♪
♪ And they have OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪
- ♪ Normal floaty fish ♪
- ♪ Until we grant your wish ♪
- ♪ OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪
♪ New shirt, blue skirt,
instant dessert ♪
♪ Swim wear, lazy chair ♪
♪ Chocolate square,
time to share ♪
♪ Gold throne, clear phone ♪
♪ Dino bone, silly clone ♪
- ♪ OddParents,
Fairly OddParents ♪
♪ It flips your lid
when you are a kid ♪
♪ With Fairly OddParents! ♪
♪ In real life ♪
[upbeat music playing]
♪ ♪
Well, teenagers in the '90s
look way older
than teenagers now.
Yeah.
I think it had something
to do with milk.
Okay, here's the plan.
In and out
as quickly as possible.
Welcome to my dance studio.
You guys wanna see a picture
of my mongoose?
Sorry, sorry, mongeese.
There are several.
- Oh, my God!
Those mongeese are gonna--
- Live long and a happy life
just like...you.
Excuse us.
Later.
Ah, should really start
feeding those guys
and stop taunting them
at some point.
[chuckles]
What are they gonna do?
Eat me? Huh!
- We can't alter anything
about the past, remember?
Yeah, you're right.
Look!
There's my Dad and Rachel.
[Los Del Río's "Macarena"
playing]
- Promise you'll never stop
dancing with me?
- Cross my heart
and hope to Ty.
[Aqua's "Barbie Girl" plays]
Oh, snap! This is the jam
I dance to with my guys.
Ty's guys.
all: Ty, Ty, Ty, Ty!
- Sorry, babe.
This is more of a guy song.
- But you crossed your heart
and hoped to Ty.
Sorry, babe.
Whoa!
♪ In a fantasy world ♪
It's all happening.
- I'm gonna go talk to Rachel.
- Perfect.
- I'll distract Ty.
- How?
- Ty, Ty, Ty, Ty!
- Oh, sick! A new guy.
Come dance with us, rug rat.
- ♪ Come on, Barbie,
let's go party ♪
♪ Ah, ah, ah, yeah ♪
[sobbing]
I hate the '90s.
- Hey, Ray-Ray.
Who are you?
You look super young.
Do you even drink milk?
Uh, soy milk.
Soy milk?
Like, Spanish for
"I am milk"?
- Um--
- Well, listen up, Milk.
I'm about to break up
with my boyfriend, Ty.
So go be a part of a balanced
breakfast somewhere else.
- Well, have you ever thought
about not breaking up with him?
- What are you driving at,
Milk?
Well...
Ty clearly takes his friendship
with his guys seriously,
which ultimately
is a great quality.
You're right.
He is an amazing kisser!
Oh, that's so gross.
Thanks for your advice, Milk.
Yo, Ty!
Let's make up with our mouths.
That was easy.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh!
Did they make up?
With their mouths.
I saw it with my eyes.
Ew, well,
let's get back
to the present.
Scooty, scooty, come, come.
[tires squealing]
Living room, present day.
[tires screech]
[dramatic music]
[brakes screech]
[tires squeal]
Hey. Looks like we did it.
- Oh, yeah,
we for sure did it,
but, uh, time travel really
makes ya boy "hungy."
I could go for one
of my mom's famous corn dogs.
- Who wants one
of my famous corn dogs?
- The handsomest boy
in Dimmsdale does.
Mom?
Mom?
Mommy!
Hm, that's weird.
I want corn dogs!
The handsomest boy in Dimmsdale,
me, Ty Turner, does.
- Ooh!
- Ooh! My body.
- Here's to never breaking up
since high school.
And most importantly...
both: Never having kids!
Let's enjoy these in our
attic-turned-corn-dog
eating room.
That's my room.
[both humming happily]
both: ♪ It's corn dog time ♪
- Okay, we might've
stepped on some ants.
Dang right, you did, kiddos.
- And I'm guessing
you didn't bring me back
any of that hormone-rich
'90s milk.
How am I supposed to balance
my breakfast now?
[scale creaks]
[window shatters]
[cat yowls]
I don't know what happened.
- What happened is we got them
so together
that they never broke up.
Oh!
So that means my mom
never met my dad in college.
And my dad never met my mom
at the Dimmsdale combination
Pizza Hat and Lightbulb store.
You know, I've always wondered,
who is your dad?
- Oh, this dancer
my mom met in college.
He lives in San Francisco
with his husband
and they run this adorable
cannoli shop.
Who's your dad?
Ty.
Oh, yeah!
- You two better get your
heinies back to the '90s
because we can't grant wishes
to kids that don't exist.
- And then get back
to the present
so you can win
that science fair.
- You mean go
to the school dance?
- No, no.
I mean science fair,
where you dance with your chums
and it's a school dance.
Oh, wait, I am talking
about a school dance.
Good luck.
Scooty, scooty, come, come.
We're doing this The Roy Way.
[tires squeal]
Back to the dance in the '90s
and super break up our parents.
- Roy, I don't think
that this is gonna work--
The Roy Way!
[R&B music playing]
I love you, Ty.
Nothing could ever
break us up.
- That's a boss
observation, babe.
- Talk to the hand 'cause the
face is too in love to listen.
[laughs]
[upbeat music playing]
So what's The Roy Way?
This is how we do it.
I'm gonna shout
the most dangerous phrase
that can be said in the '90s.
Dance Battle!
[crowd gasping]
I declare a dance battle
between Ty and Mommy.
I mean, Rachel!
Ty and Rachel.
[crowd cheering]
- Normally, we don't listen
to 12-year-olds.
- But he did declare
a dance battle.
- It is the '90s,
so we can't turn it down.
True that.
[crowd cheering]
♪ ♪
[crowd cheering]
♪ ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ ♪
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
She's too good,
12-year-old boy.
I can't beat her.
I'm only semi-semi professional.
- There's only one thing
you can do.
You gotta do...
the Slap Dragon.
- The Slap Dragon isn't
allowed in dance battles,
especially in school.
Ho ho!
You're not in
the dance battle.
Nah!
You're in the dance war!
Now release the Slap Dragon!
[crowd gasps]
♪ ♪
You can't do the Slap Dragon,
especially in a dance battle,
especially in school.
- Sorry, babe, I really hope
societal norms change,
but it's the '90s
and I can't lose to a chick.
[crowd gasps]
- Well, you're about to lose
this chick!
I am super breaking up with you!
♪ ♪
Scooty, scooty, come, come.
- I can't wait to see how
"tarsty" we made the present.
[explosions booming]
[tires screeching]
Dimmsdale went
from "tarsty,"
uh, to "narsty."
[distant booming]
Zina, I never thought
I'd say this,
but thank God you're, oh--
- Oh, no!
We don't exist again!
- Emperor Rachel,
I bring news from the front.
[dramatic militaristic music]
♪ ♪
[gagging]
Sorry, I burnt some corn dogs
in there.
Now then, Colonel Zina,
my favorite colonel,
what news of the dance war
do you bring me?
- Ty and his rebel forces
are planning to hit
"The Woah" at dawn.
- He's bringin' out
the big guns, I see.
Thank you for updating me
with this terrible news.
Now, moonwalk out of my sight.
- I walk the moon for you,
Emperor Rachel.
[smooth music]
- Don't get stuck
on the carpet.
♪ ♪
- Wow,
this new world is awesome!
Whose army should we join?
We don't exist.
Oh, yeah!
♪ ♪
What are we gonna do?
We need Wanda and Cosmo.
- What you need
is to exist again,
and so we can grant you wishes.
- You guys started a 20-year
dance war between Rachel and Ty.
- God, how can this
get any worse?
- That's my cue
to make it worse.
both: Jorgen Von Strangle!
That's right. It is I.
I ripped your puny universe
a new one
to inform Vivian and Roy
that if you don't fix
your little time travel poo poo
in the next hour,
I will be forced to reassign
Cosmo and Wanda
to kids who actually exist!
both: No!
Yes!
You have one hour.
That is the ticking clock.
Look at it tick!
- I can't lose
Wanda and Cosmo.
How will I brush my teeth?
With a toothbrush
like a normal person.
But you're right
that we can't lose them.
Scooty, scooty, come, come!
- To planny, planny,
plan, plan!
- We have one more shot
to get this right.
We have to break them up,
but make them agree
to remain friends.
How do we do that?
We do it The Viv Way.
What is The Viv Way?
I have no idea!
[upbeat music playing]
- In case you can't hear me
over the music,
I'm super breaking up with you!
- Man, Ty and Rachel
are always breaking up
and then getting back together
just like Fross and Frachel
in "Frams,"
the hit current TV show
in the '90s,
which is the decade
in which we are in.
"Frams." That's it!
We'll play the theme song
from "Frams,"
and distract them
from their dance battle,
while I do my signature
dance move, The Viv.
- The one
you were planning to do
at our school dance
in the present.
This story is tying up nicely.
I'll back you up.
♪ ♪
Everybody, stop!
all: Collaborate and listen.
Que pasa, Milk?
We're in the middle
of a dance battle!
- Can't you see?
- Sí, no la veas, Milk?
- Excuse me. Can you play
the theme song from "Frams"?
Yeah, I'll be there for you.
- Hit it!
- ♪ Friends come and go ♪
♪ But I'll always be true,
true together ♪
♪ We'll concentrate,
she'll take a break or two ♪
♪ Friends forever ♪
♪ Come on now,
you know what to do ♪
♪ It's all right 'cause
I got a friend in you ♪
[all booing]
- Why are you only dancing
in one place?
- That stunk!
It was all arms.
No, your kids are gonna love
watching these kinds of dances
on their phones.
- You can't watch something
on a phone.
This is the '90s!
[laughter]
- Boo you guys!
I'm goin' home!
[laughter]
[mellow music plays]
Don't be sad, beb.
The kids in the present
are gonna love The Viv.
- Uh, doy!
My dance moves are da bomb.
Look!
I brought you some punch.
Thanks.
I like punch.
I'm sorry, Rachel.
You know, watching that girl
who oddly looks like
a combination of me and Calista
from the combination Pizza Hat
and Lightbulb Store
do that terrible
futuristic dance,
it made me forget what we were
even dance battling about
in the first place.
- Oh, it was about--
Shh. We forgot.
Oh! Okay.
- How about we break up,
but this time we remain frams?
I'd like that.
♪ ♪
Frams.
- ♪ Come on! ♪
[upbeat music plays]
both: Whoa!
Let's get our fram on.
Oh, and hey,
maybe later on, down the line,
we can get back together
and open up a dance studio,
remarkably similar to this one.
I'd like that.
♪ ♪
[tires screeching]
[tires squealing]
Did it work?
Do we exist again?
Owie!
Why'd you do that?
- It didn't go through you.
We exist!
- Yeah, you could've
come to that conclusion
when you picked it up.
[winces]
Oh, yeah.
But that would be less funny.
Cosmo, Wanda, you're back!
And cuter than ever.
- Now, can we pretty please
agree to no more time travel?
- Sure.
No more time travel,
at least for this season.
[mischievous music]
- Hey, what are you guys doin'?
You got a dance to get to.
- both: We do?
- Why, of course!
The dance was canceled,
then you asked me to have it at
the Fancy Dance Dance Studio,
and I responded with
a resounding and unwavering yes!
- both: Yes.
- Now, Roy,
get that bootio in a suitio.
Viv, you get dressed up too.
I just don't have a good rhyme.
Ooh! I got it.
Viv, get into a gown
in order to get down.
Ah, you marvelous scribe,
you've done it again!
Viv!
- Hey, look, Roy's about to be
crowned the king of the dance.
I crown you
king of the Dimmsdale
Junior High Dance.
Roar!
[cheers and applause]
Well, it's not a robot,
but a tiger with a mustache
is still...
pretty cool.
[cheers and applause]
And as my first act as king,
I hereby declare
the debut of...
The Viv.
[mellow pop music]
♪ ♪
I love The Viv!
- Yeah, this is shaping up to
be a tight little win for her,
as long as nobody interrupts--
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
♪ All dressed for Roy ♪
Hello, my sweet king.
Uh, also,
as king of the Dimmsdale
Junior High Dance,
I declare we dance
and keep Zina away from me.
- [chuckles]
Men and commitment.
all: Whoa!
Megan, we're next!
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪