The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 8, Episode 22 - This Is Only a Test - full transcript

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♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪

♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH,
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪

♪ YOU'RE GROWIN',
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪

♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪

♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪



♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪

♪ ALL ABOUT YOU ♪

♪ YOU ♪

♪ ALL ABOUT YOU ♪

♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

THANKS, JO, FOR THE HELP.

NO PROB.

ANDY, EXCUSE ME,

BUT ARE YOU PLANNING
TO EAT THAT BY YOURSELF



OR SHARE IT WITH RHODE ISLAND?

HEY, I'M A GROWING BOY.

THAT'S WHAT YOU
SAID AT BREAKFAST

WHEN YOU ASKED FOR
3 STACKS OF PANCAKES.

NOW I'M STUCK WITH A
DOZEN BUTTERMILK FRISBEES.

HEY, YOU GUYS.

WE FOUND THE GREATEST PLACE

FOR ALL OF US TO
GO THIS WEEKEND.

IT'S ONLY 2 HOURS AWAY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE
NEVER KNEW ABOUT IT.

THESE PEOPLE ARE SITTING IN MUD.

IT'S A HEALTH SPA.

THEY HAVE MINERAL
BATHS, SAUNAS, MASSAGES.

THESE PEOPLE ARE SITTING...

THESE ARE PEOPLE, RIGHT?

OF COURSE THEY'RE
PEOPLE. IT'S A FAMILY RESORT,

AND THIS WEEKEND, WE CAN
GO THERE FOR HALF PRICE.

YOU HAVE TO PAY
MONEY TO SIT IN MUD?

THIS IS VERY SPECIAL
MUD. IT... IT'S VERY HEALTHY

FOR DRAWING TOXINS
OUT OF YOUR BODY.

THE FRENCH LOVE IT.

YEAH, SURE.

THEY LOVE JERRY LEWIS, TOO.

WELL, I HAVE SOME TOXINS
I'D LIKE TO PART WITH.

HOW ABOUT YOU, ANDY?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

MASSAGES BY LARGE,
SWEDISH WOMEN.

WELL, COUNT ME IN.

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, JO?

I DON'T THINK SO.

COME ON, JO, YOU
DON'T WANT TO BE

THE ONLY ONE WHO'S NOT GOING.

BLAIR'S GOING?

WELL, WE HAVEN'T ASKED HER YET,

BUT I'M SURE SHE WILL.

BELIEVE ME, I KNOW
HER ROYAL HIGHNESS.

THERE'S NO WAY SHE'S GONNA PUT

HER ROYAL LOWNESS IN MUD.

WELL, WHY DON'T
WE JUST FIND OUT?

ANDY, WILL YOU ASK
BLAIR TO COME IN HERE

FOR A MINUTE, PLEASE?

SURE.

THE ONLY THING IN DOUBT HERE

IS NOT IF SHE'LL GO,

BUT WHAT PHONY EXCUSE SHE'LL USE

TO GET OUT OF IT.

OH, IT'S NOT LIKE
BLAIR TO BE PHONY.

WELL, NOT ON PURPOSE.

YOU WATCH.

SHE'LL COME IN HERE,

PRETEND TO BE REALLY INTERESTED,

AND THEN COME UP WITH
SOME OFF-THE-WALL EXCUSE

WHY SHE CAN'T GO.

HI.

ANDY SAID YOU HAD SOMETHING
YOU WANTED TO ASK ME?

YEAH, WE FOUND
THIS TERRIFIC PLACE,

AND WE WANT YOU TO GO
THERE WITH US THIS WEEKEND.

TAKE A LOOK.

MM-HMM.

MM-HMM.

MUD.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WELL, I'D LOVE TO
GO... BUT I CAN'T.

OH, WHY NOT?

WELL, I WASN'T GONNA
TELL YOU THIS, BUT...

I'M TAKING THE LAW SCHOOL

ADMISSIONS TEST ON SATURDAY.

OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

NO, REALLY.

I'VE APPLIED TO
LANGLEY LAW SCHOOL,

AND I HAVE TO TAKE THIS TEST.

THIS IS WONDERFUL.

WHEN DID YOU APPLY?

ABOUT 3 MONTHS AGO.

AND WE'RE HEARING ABOUT IT NOW?

WELL, IT'S NOT THE KIND
OF THING I LIKE TO ADMIT,

THAT I MIGHT ACTUALLY...
WORK FOR A LIVING.

BESIDES, I WAS AFRAID YOU GUYS

MIGHT MAKE FUN OF ME.

BLAIR, WHY WOULD
WE MAKE FUN OF YOU

FOR GOING TO LAW SCHOOL?

ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE'S
SO MANY OTHER THINGS

TO MAKE FUN OF YOU FOR.

I CAN JUST SEE IT NOW.

BLAIR WARNER, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW,

CHAMPION OF THE PEOPLE,

DEFENDING HER CLIENTS,

THE POOR, THE DOWNTRODDEN...

OH, NO, THOSE
AREN'T HER CLIENTS.

THEY'RE HER HAIRDRESSERS.

LAUGH IF YOU WISH,

BUT I'LL BE GRADUATING
SOON, AND I'M A WARNER,

SO I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
TO MAKE MY FAMILY PROUD.

WELL, AREN'T THERE
ANY SMALL COUNTRIES

LOOKING FOR A PRINCESS?

SEE, YOU GUYS NEVER
GIVE ME A BREAK.

THERE'S ALWAYS BEEN AN ATTORNEY

IN EVERY GENERATION OF WARNERS.

I'LL BE THE FIRST WOMAN.

BLAIR, JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY,

IF YOU WEREN'T TAKING
THIS TEST SATURDAY,

WOULD YOU COME
TO THE SPA WITH US?

AND SIT IN THE MUD?

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

HI.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, JO?

DOES THIS SAY JURISPRUDENCE?

BEATS ME. I STOPPED
LISTENING TO YOUR CLOTHES

A LONG TIME AGO.

THE DEAN OF ADMISSIONS IS
COMING TO INTERVIEW ME ON FRIDAY,

AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE I
LOOK LIKE LAWYER MATERIAL.

THE DEAN OF ADMISSIONS
IS COMING TO THE HOUSE?

WELL, I AM DAVID
WARNER'S DAUGHTER.

OH, THAT EXPLAINS IT.

DOESN'T WANT TO BE
SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH YOU.

MAYBE SOMETHING A LITTLE
MORE CONSTITUTIONAL.

LISTEN, I HAD SOME
TIME BEFORE CLASS,

SO I PICKED YOU UP SOMETHING.

A PRESENT?

OH, I LOVE PRESENTS.

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE FOR ME.

"HOW TO PREPARE
FOR THE LAW SCHOOL

ADMISSIONS TEST."

YEAH, IT'S A STUDY GUIDE.

IT, UH, IT HELPS YOU PREPARE
FOR THE TYPES OF QUESTIONS

THEY'RE GONNA ASK ON THE LSAT.

JO, I AM TRULY TOUCHED.

THAT IS SO VERY SWEET OF YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

NO, NO, I MEAN IT.

YOU HAVE GIVEN OF YOURSELF

IN A WAY THAT I KNOW

DOESN'T COME EASY FOR YOU.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

IF I WAS ACTUALLY GONNA
STUDY FOR THIS TEST,

I'D PROBABLY BE MOVED
TO TEARS RIGHT NOW.

IT WAS A LOVELY THOUGHT.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA
STUDY FOR THE TEST?

WHY SHOULD I?

BLAIR, YOU'VE ONLY
GOT TILL SATURDAY.

THIS IS A MAJOR 4-HOUR EXAM.

YOU DON'T DO WELL ON IT,

YOU DON'T GET INTO LAW SCHOOL.

OH, I'M NOT WORRIED.

I HAVE NATURAL ABILITY.

SOMETIMES THAT'S NOT ENOUGH.

IT IS WHEN YOUR NATURAL ABILITY

IS BEING RICH.

BLAIR, YOU CAN'T BUY
YOUR WAY INTO LAW SCHOOL.

JO, I ONLY WANT
TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT.

THINK ABOUT IT.

THERE ARE LOTS OF STUDENTS

WHO CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY
THEIR WAY INTO LAW SCHOOL.

WOULDN'T IT BE
AWFULLY GREEDY OF ME

TO BE STUDYING AND
BUY MY WAY IN, TOO?

NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT
IT QUITE THAT WAY.

THEN AGAIN, I'VE NEVER
BEEN CLINICALLY INSANE.

3 MORE HOURS, AND
WE'LL BE SITTING IN MUD.

HOW DO YOU SAY,

"I'M OLDER THAN I
LOOK," IN SWEDISH?

ANDY, YOU DIDN'T
MAKE ANOTHER ONE

OF THOSE SANDWICHES, DID YOU?

UM... NO, IT'S THE SAME ONE.

FROM TUESDAY?

BEVERLY ANN SAID I
COULDN'T EAT ANYTHING ELSE

UNTIL I FINISHED THIS.

I'M SHOOTING FOR
EARLY NEXT WEEK.

JUST BE GLAD IT ISN'T TUNA FISH.

THAT'S ENOUGH, ANDY.

LET'S GET OURSELVES PACKED.

AW, JEEZ, I'M SURE GONNA MISS

EATING THIS SANDWICH
THIS WEEKEND.

WELL, WE CAN'T
HAVE THAT, CAN WE?

I KNOW WHAT.

WRAP IT UP, AND
WE'LL TAKE IT ALONG.

YOU'RE TOO GOOD TO ME.

HELLO, ALL.

Natalie: HEY. BLAIR.

OH, THE DEAN'S GONNA
BE OVERWHELMED.

YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.

THANK YOU.

BLAIR,

IT PROBABLY ISN'T NECESSARY
TO IMPRESS THE DEAN

WITH ALL THE READING YOU DO.

OH, THESE?

OH, THESE ARE JUST SOME ARTICLES

ABOUT THE LARGER
DONATIONS WE WARNERS

HAVE MADE TO LANGLEY
OVER THE YEARS.

BUT YOU DON'T NEED
TO USE YOUR INFLUENCE.

YOU'RE BRIGHT ENOUGH TO DO THIS

THE TRADITIONAL WAY.

FOR THE WARNERS, THIS
IS THE TRADITIONAL WAY.

OH, THE DEAN.

GOOD LUCK.

HELLO.

GOOD AFTERNOON. I'M
HERE TO SEE BLAIR WARNER.

I'M MISS WARNER. YOU
MUST BE DEAN RUSK.

WON'T YOU COME IN?

THANK YOU.

SO PLEASED TO MEET YOU, SIR.

I'VE REALLY BEEN LOOKING
FORWARD TO THIS INTERVIEW.

WELL, YES. SHALL WE BEGIN?

OF COURSE.

OH, I'M SORRY.

ARE THESE NEWSPAPERS
WITH STORIES

ABOUT MY FATHER'S GREAT
WEALTH IN YOUR WAY?

A BIT.

JUST PUT THEM ANYWHERE.

I'M SURE THERE'LL
BE MORE STORIES

NEXT TIME FATHER GETS THE URGE

TO WRITE A BIG, FAT CHECK

TO DEAR OLD LANGLEY.

WELL, THE WAY THINGS
ARE THESE DAYS,

WE DO NEED TO RELY
HEAVILY ON DONATIONS.

OH, GOOD.

SO DO I.

ALL RIGHT, MISS WARNER.

LET'S START BY REVIEWING
YOUR APPLICATION.

NOW, I SEE THAT YOUR GRADES

HAVE BEEN QUITE SATISFACTORY,

AND YOU HAVE SUBSTANTIAL

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES.

"VICE PRESIDENT...

YOUNG MILLIONAIRES OF AMERICA."

AND OF COURSE YOUR
PERSONAL RECOMMENDATIONS

ARE OUTSTANDING,
PARTICULARLY THE ONES

FROM THE SENATOR
AND THE GOVERNOR.

OH, UNCLE BUZZ AND
THE COMMODORE.

THE ONLY ITEM WE'RE
WAITING FOR NOW

IS YOUR LSAT SCORE.

I'LL BE TAKING THE
TEST TOMORROW.

BUT KEEP IN MIND THAT FOR YOU

TO BE EVEN CONSIDERED
FOR ADMISSION,

YOU'LL NEED TO
SCORE AT LEAST A 42.

42?

COME ON. PIECE OF QUICHE.

THAT'S 42 ON A SCALE OF 48.

OH.

I SUPPOSE THAT ELIMINATES
ALMOST EVERYBODY.

THAT'S PRETTY MUCH
OUR THINKING, TOO.

UM...

UH, IS THERE SOMETHING
I CAN GET YOU, SIR?

UM, COFFEE, TEA?

A NEW LIBRARY?

NOW, MISS WARNER,

YOU WOULDN'T BE
TRYING TO INFLUENCE

THIS INTERVIEW, WOULD YOU?

I WOULDN'T THINK
OF SUCH A THING.

GOOD.

BECAUSE WE MAKE IT A
POLICY NEVER TO CONSIDER

AN APPLICANT'S FINANCIAL STATUS.

AND A WONDERFUL POLICY THAT IS.

DO ALL SCHOOLS HAVE
THIS WONDERFUL POLICY?

WOULD YOU WANT
TO GET A LAW DEGREE

FROM ONE THAT DIDN'T?

HEAVEN FORBID.

BESIDES, I HAVE MY HEART
SET ON GOING TO LANGLEY.

MM, MANY STUDENTS DO,

STUDENTS WITH ALL YOUR
QUALIFICATIONS AND...

HIGH LSAT SCORES.

HIGH LIKE 42.

AND HIGHER.

I SEE.

WELL,

I'M SURE YOU'LL DO FINE
ON THE TEST TOMORROW.

ANY STUDENT WITH
YOUR TRACK RECORD

WHO'S SPENT THE USUAL

3 MONTHS STUDYING FOR IT

SHOULDN'T HAVE A PROBLEM.

GOOD DAY.

GOOD DAY.

OOOOH.

HELLO, HASGROVE STUDY INSTITUTE?

DO YOU HAVE CLASSES
TO PREPARE FOR THE LSAT?

GREAT.

12 WEEKS?

DON'T YOU HAVE
SOMETHING THAT KINDA...

PACKS IT INTO ONE NIGHT?

LISTEN, I'M DESPERATE.

I'M TAKING THIS TEST TOMORROW,

AND I'M NOT EVEN
REMOTELY PREPARED.

WELL, I KNOW
THERE'S A STUDY BOOK,

BUT I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU HAD IT IN MOVIE FORM

OR ON CASSETTE.

CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?

I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING.

IS IT IMPORTANT?

BLAIR HAS THIS PROBLEM...

HEY, NEVER TOO BUSY TO LISTEN.

SOMETHING MUST HAVE GONE
WRONG WITH HER INTERVIEW,

BECAUSE SHE'S
DOWNSTAIRS ON THE PHONE

TRYING TO GET HELP FOR HER LSAT.

I'M TELLING YOU,
SHE'S DESPERATE.

OH, SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

ANYWAYS, I KNOW PEOPLE THINK

I'M ALWAYS MEDDLING,

BUT THIS ISN'T REALLY MEDDLING.

IT'S MORE LIKE...
OK, IT'S MEDDLING.

BUT IT'S A GOOD MEDDLING.

I NEED TO BORROW
THAT STUDY BOOK.

OOH, IT'S A DARING PLAN,

BUT SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK

YOU'RE GONNA PASS
FOR BLAIR WARNER.

I WAS THINKING THAT
MAYBE I COULD HELP HER

PREPARE FOR THE TEST.

I MEAN, WHEN BOTH YOUR
PARENTS ARE LAWYERS,

SOME OF THAT HABEAS CORPUS STUFF

IS GONNA RUB OFF ON YOU.

LOOK, YOU GO SIT IN THE MUD.

I'LL HELP BLAIR.

REALLY?

I MEAN, I KNOW SHE
WAS PRETTY RUDE TO YOU

WHEN YOU GAVE HER THE BOOK.

HEY, WHEN IT COMES
TO A FRIEND LIKE BLAIR,

I DON'T GET MAD.

GREAT. ALL RIGHT. THANKS, JO.

I GET EVEN.

BUT IT SAYS RIGHT HERE

IF YOU HAVE RELIGIOUS REASONS,

YOU CAN TAKE THE TEST ON MONDAY

INSTEAD OF SATURDAY.

YES, I KNOW I NEED A NOTE,

BUT I CAN'T HELP IT IF
MY RABBI'S OUT OF TOWN.

NEVER MIND. I GOT TO GO.

HEY. HI.

I'M JUST GONNA GO, UH,

RETURN THIS STUPID STUDY
GUIDE TO THE BOOKSTORE.

NO REASON TO HAVE IT
LIE AROUND HERE, HUH?

NO, NO, NONE
THAT I CAN THINK OF.

WELL, GOOD. SEE YOU.

UH, WAIT A MINUTE, JO.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO ALL
THE WAY DOWN TO THE CAMPUS

TO RETURN THAT LITTLE BOOK.

I'LL TAKE IT BACK FOR YOU.

WOULD YOU DO THAT FOR ME?

SURE. WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?

NAH.

NO.

I... I WOULDN'T FEEL
RIGHT ABOUT THAT.

I BOUGHT THE BOOK.

I SHOULD BE THE
ONE TO RETURN IT.

YES, YES, BUT...

YOU BOUGHT THE BOOK FOR ME.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

THAT'S MY BOOK, AND I NEED IT.

WHAT FOR? YOU ALREADY SAID

YOU'RE NOT GONNA STUDY
FOR THE TEST, RIGHT?

NO.

OF COURSE NOT.

BUT I HAVE A FRIEND...

WHO WANTS TO GO TO LAW SCHOOL.

A FRIEND?

OH, HMM, WHAT'S HER NAME?

HER NAME?

UM... TRUDY.

GOSH. NEVER HEARD YOU
MENTION A TRUDY BEFORE.

LET'S JUST SAY

SHE'S SOMEONE I
REALLY CARE ABOUT,

AND SHE'S IN TROUBLE.

SHE'S TAKING THE LSAT TOMORROW.

AND SHE PUT OFF
STUDYING UNTIL TONIGHT?

WHAT AN IDIOT.

JO, I DON'T THINK
YOU'RE BEING VERY FAIR.

TRUDY HAD A PERFECTLY
GOOD REASON,

AND IF YOU KNEW HER
BETTER, YOU'D UNDERSTAND.

SHE'S NORMALLY A VERY
RESPONSIBLE PERSON.

WELL, MAYBE SO,

BUT SHE PICKED A HELL
OF A TIME TO FLAKE OUT.

ANYBODY WHO WOULD
PUT OFF STUDYING

UNTIL THE NIGHT BEFORE

MUST HAVE ROCKS IN HER HEAD.

I DO NOT!

WAIT A MINUTE.

I'M CONFUSED.

YOU'RE TRUDY?

OH, AND I SAID ALL
THOSE TERRIBLE THINGS.

GOD, DO I FEEL AWFUL.

LISTEN, JO, HERE'S
THE REAL TRUTH.

THIS LAW SCHOOL
DOESN'T CARE THAT I'M RICH.

I HAVE TO STUDY FOR THIS TEST.

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO?

HERE, TAKE THE BOOK.

WAS THERE SOMETHING ELSE?

NO, NO, NO. I'LL...

I'LL JUST SIT DOWN HERE
AND START STUDYING.

I'LL ASK MYSELF THE QUESTIONS,

AND THEN I'LL CHECK
MY OWN ANSWERS.

THEN I'LL SAY,

"GOOD, BLAIR. YOU
GOT THAT ONE RIGHT.

"YOU'RE DOING JUST FINE

FOR SOMEONE STUDYING
ALL BY HERSELF."

COME ON, TRUDY.
LET'S GET TO WORK.

BLAIR, SINCE I
WON'T BE AVAILABLE

TO LEND MY PERSONAL SUPPORT,

I... I WANTED TO GIVE YOU

THIS LITTLE BOOK OF
INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHTS.

"LIFE CAN BE PERFECT."

IT... IT'S BEEN A GREAT
SOURCE OF STRENGTH TO ME.

IT WAS GIVEN TO ME
BY MY UNCLE HAROLD

SHORTLY BEFORE HE
WAS RUN OVER BY A BUS.

I'LL TREASURE IT ALWAYS.

"A WINNER NEVER QUITS,

AND A QUITTER NEVER WINS."

PAGE 23.

WORDS TO LIVE BY.

TOOTIE, YOU DROVE LAST TIME.

IT'S ONLY FAIR THAT
I DRIVE THIS TIME.

NATALIE, THERE'S A
REASON THAT I DRIVE.

YOU'RE LIKE A MANIAC
BEHIND THAT WHEEL.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THAT FENCE HAD NO BUSINESS

BEING SO CLOSE TO THE ROAD.

I'LL SETTLE THIS.

WE'LL TAKE THE
WINNEBAGO, AND I'LL DRIVE.

OH, UH-UH. NATALIE,
YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT'S YOUR TURN.

BYE, YOU GUYS. SEE YOU LATER.

Blair: HAVE A GOOD TIME.

ALL RIGHT. WE'VE
ONLY GOT 14 HOURS

OF STUDY TIME BEFORE THE TEST,

BUT IF WE CONCENTRATE
REALLY HARD

ON WHAT THE BOOK IS SAYING,

YOU'LL BE READY. OK.

"THIS BOOK CONTAINS
THE KIND OF QUESTIONS

TYPICALLY ASKED ON THE LSAT."

QUESTION NUMBER 1:

"VALUE JUDGEMENTS
FORFEIT THEIR IMPUNITY

"WHEN THE CONTEXT IN
WHICH THEY ARE SET FORTH

"IS SUCH AS TO COMPRISE
THEIR EXPRESSION

OF INSTIGATION TO
SOME PERNICIOUS ACT."

FALSE.

I HAVEN'T GOTTEN
TO THE QUESTION YET.

LET'S JUST SKIP THAT ONE.

ALL RIGHT.

QUESTION NUMBER 2:

"MARY AND BOB ARE COUSINS.

"TOM IS BOB'S ONLY UNCLE.

"BOB'S MOTHER IS TOM'S SISTER,

"BUT NOT MARY'S AUNT.

"MARY HAS A DOG
NAMED AFTER HER FATHER.

WHAT IS HIS NAME?"

SPOT.

SPOT JR.?

QUESTION NUMBER 3:

"IN A VERBAL AGREEMENT

"REACHED BETWEEN BOTH PARTIES,

"PARTY A FEELS IT
WAS NOT BINDING.

"PARTY B INSISTS THAT IT IS.

"GIVEN THE PRECEDENT
STATED IN THE PREMISE,

WHAT SHOULD PARTY B DO
TO SUBSTANTIATE HER CLAIM?"

I DON'T KNOW.

CALL HER LAWYER.

BLAIR, YOU ARE HER LAWYER.

COME ON. COME ON. WAKE UP.

WE'VE ONLY GOT ABOUT 5
MORE HOURS BEFORE THE TEST.

NOW CONCENTRATE.

ALL RIGHT.

"ED AND FRED JOHNSON ARE TWINS.

"ALL JOHNSONS HAVE MORE
DAUGHTERS THAN SONS.

"FRED HAS MORE SONS THAN ED,

"BUT ED HAS MORE CHILDREN.

"IF FRED HAS 4 SONS,

"THEN WHAT IS THE MINIMUM
NUMBER OF DAUGHTERS

THAT ED MUST HAVE?"

I DON'T KNOW.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

I DON'T CARE IF FRED AND ED

HAVE A VERBAL CONTRACT

WITH MARY'S BROTHER'S DOG.

LOOK, BLAIR, I KNOW
THESE QUESTIONS

MAY SOUND RIDICULOUS,

BUT THEY TEST YOUR LOGIC SKILLS.

YOU NEED THAT IN LAW SCHOOL.

THAT'S ANOTHER THING
I DON'T CARE ABOUT:

LAW SCHOOL.

IT'S LATE. I'M TIRED.

IT'S NOT WORTH IT.

I'M GIVING UP.

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, AS LONG AS I'M UP,

I'M GONNA GO SEE
WHAT'S ON THE LATE SHOW.

JO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WATCHING TV.

DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT COMES NEXT?

NO. HOW CAN I?

YOU TURNED OFF THE TELEVISION.

NO. BETWEEN US.

THIS IS WHERE YOU
GIVE ME A PEP TALK.

IT IS?

YES.

OH, UH, RIGHT.
UH... YOU CAN DO IT.

DON'T GIVE UP.

UM... A QUITTER NEVER WINS,

AND A... AND A
WINNER NEVER QUITS.

PAGE 23.

OH, GOSH, LOOK.

JIMMY CAGNEY.

THAT'S IT?

THAT'S ALL I GET?!

IT'S THE WAY IT GOES.

GOSH, LOOK AT HOW
YOUNG JIMMY LOOKS, HUH?

JO.

YOU'RE NOT TRYING VERY HARD.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

UH, YOU'RE SHALLOW AND LAZY.

YOU NEVER HAD TO WORK HARD

FOR ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE,

SO IT'S NO WONDER
YOU'RE GIVING UP.

I KNOW THAT.

THAT'S THE OBVIOUS STUFF.

IF YOU'RE PLANNING
ON GETTING TO ME,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
DIG A WHOLE LOT DEEPER.

SORRY. FRESH OUT OF SHOVELS.

JO.

THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF
YOU COULD STILL SAY,

LIKE... LIKE, "BLAIR,

"WHEN THE DEAN TOLD YOU
YOUR MONEY DIDN'T MATTER,

"YOU SUDDENLY WANTED TO GET
INTO LAW SCHOOL MORE THAN EVER,

"AND YOU'RE SCARED

"BECAUSE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME

"DADDY CAN'T BUY YOUR
WAY INTO SOMETHING

"YOU REALLY WANT,

AND YOU DON'T KNOW IF
YOU CAN DO IT ON YOUR OWN."

YEAH.

I COULD HAVE SAID THAT.

ALONG WITH, "I'M SCARED, TOO."

'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T
DO WELL ON THIS TEST

AND BECOME A LAWYER,

YOU'RE GONNA LIVE WITH ME

FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

7.

WHAT?

7.

THAT'S THE MINIMUM NUMBER
OF DAUGHTERS ED MUST HAVE.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

OK, NEXT QUESTION:

UM... A BUSHEL-BASKET OF APPLES

IS DIVIDED EQUALLY BETWEEN...

OH!

OH, BLAIR!

BLAIR! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I-IT'S 12:30. YOU OVERSLEPT.

YOU MISSED THE WHOLE TEST.

OH, NO! AND YOU PROMISED
YOU'D WAKE ME UP!

NOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

GOD, I FEEL TERRIBLE.

MAYBE YOU COULD...

WHEN DID YOU
CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES?

I DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE YOU UP.

YOU WERE CURLED UP IN THE CHAIR,

AND YOU LOOKED SO CUTE
WITH YOUR LITTLE HEAD

TUCKED UNDER YOUR LITTLE ARM.

YEAH, YEAH.

YEAH, HOW'D THE TEST GO?

PRETTY WELL, I THINK,

BUT IF NOT, WHAT
DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

BLAIR, I JUST WOKE UP.

I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS
GIVING UP STUFF AGAIN.

I'M NOT GIVING UP.

I'M JUST SAYING IF I
DIDN'T DO WELL ENOUGH,

THEN I'LL TAKE IT
AGAIN NEXT YEAR,

AND I'LL TAKE IT
AGAIN IF I HAVE TO

UNTIL I GET A HIGH ENOUGH SCORE

TO GET INTO LANGLEY.

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.

GOOD.

UH, WAIT A MINUTE.

AREN'T YOU FORGETTING
SOMETHING HERE?

HMM?

LIKE, "THANK YOU, JO,

FOR STAYING UP ALL NIGHT"?

THANKS.

"THANK YOU, JO, FOR...
FOR BEING A TRUE FRIEND.

I COULDN'T HAVE DONE
THIS WITHOUT YOU."

MM-HMM.

NO, PLEASE.

DON'T GO GETTING
ALL MUSHY ON ME.