The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 7, Episode 6 - A New Life - full transcript
Monica reveals to Blair that she is pregnant by her soon-to-be-ex-husband.
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♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ THEN SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
TOOTIE, THE LETTER
WAS ADDRESSED TO ME.
I JUST WANT TO
KNOW WHO'S IT FROM.
IT'S PRIVATE! I
RESPECT YOUR PRIVACY.
I EXPECT YOU TO DO THE SAME.
"LOVE, BEN." IT'S FROM
HER BOYFRIEND BEN.
THE "WOULD YOU RUN AWAY WITH
ME?" "NO, I CAN'T, I'M NOT READY YET" BEN.
IS HE STILL IN ALASKA?
ANCHORAGE, BUT HE
SAYS HE'D RATHER BE HERE.
THAT IS ENOUGH. IF
YOU TWO DON'T MIND,
I WOULD LIKE TO READ
MY LETTER BEFORE YOU DO.
WELL, EXCUSE US FOR LIVING.
OH! WE'RE THROUGH.
HE JUST COMES
RIGHT OUT AND SAYS IT.
WHAT'S HE SAY?
"I MISS YOU SO MUCH, IT HURTS."
THE SCUM.
"NOT A DAY GOES BY
THAT I DON'T THINK OF YOU."
ABSOLUTE SLIME.
"NOT A DAY GOES BY".
THIS IS THE ARCTIC.
THE DAYS ARE SIX MONTHS LONG.
BLAIR, THE MAN IS
IN A LOGGING CAMP,
JUST HIM, 50 LUMBERJACKS
AND A COOK NAMED PAPOOK.
IF THERE IS A WOMAN WITHIN
A THOUSAND MILES OF BEN
SHE'LL CLIMB OVER
GLACIERS TO GET TO HIM.
LOOK AT THIS. THREE MONTHS AGO,
IT WAS "I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH."
LAST MONTH, "I LOVE YOU."
NOW IT'S JUST "LOVE."
I'M A PEN PAL.
BLAIR.
DON'T TRY AND ARGUE.
SHE'S A WOMAN IN LOVE.
WELL, WHAT CAN I
DO? DO I CALL HIM?
SEND A TELEGRAM?
FLY TO ALASKA?
FLY TO ALASKA.
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT MY PROBLEM IS.
DOES IT MATTER?
I ALMOST WENT TO ALASKA.
IT WAS THAT OR KUWAIT. THERE'S
A LOT OF CONSTRUCTION UP THERE.
SOME TERRIFIC OPPORTUNITIES.
WHY DIDN'T YOU GO?
AH, TOO MANY WOMEN UP THERE.
I HAD TO GET AWAY FROM ALL THAT.
NOW, REALLY, ISN'T
THE RIGHT TIME...
NO, REALLY, A LOT OF
PEOPLE, THEY THINK ALASKA
AND THEY THINK IT'S ALL
MINERS AND DOG SLEDS,
BUT LET ME TELL YOU... GEORGE.
FROM WHAT I HEAR THERE
ARE WOMEN EVERYWHERE.
THANK YOU, GEORGE.
THEY EVEN HAVE
COED LUMBER CAMPS.
ENOUGH, GEORGE.
THE LOVE BOAT GOES THERE NOW.
LET'S GO.
I KNOW THIS ONE GUY WHO
WENT, THEY CALLED HIM LUCKY ED.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?
NO.
HI, GEORGE. HI, MRS. G. HI, DAD.
TELL THEM YOUR ALASKA STORIES.
OH, YEAH. WELL, IT
WAS BACK IN 1949...
NOT NOW, FRED.
GIRLS, YOU ARE NOW
LOOKING AT THE NEWLY-FORMED
HIGH STREET
MERCHANT ASSOCIATION.
WHAT, JUST YOU AND FRED?
WE'RE STARTING SMALL.
THAT NEW MALL IS TAKING
AWAY A LOT OF OUR BUSINESS.
THIS IS OUR WAY OF
LOOKING OUT FOR OURSELVES.
EDNA AND I HAVE
DEVELOPED NUMEROUS IDEAS.
WELL, THEY'RE ALL IN THE
PLANNING STAGES, ANYWAY.
BLAIR GOT A LETTER FROM BEN.
SHE THINKS HE'S
PLAYING FAST AND LOOSE.
BEN? I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
OH, JUST PASS IT AROUND.
LATER, WE CAN
POST IT IN THE SHOP.
I THOUGHT YOU AND BEN
WERE GETTING ALONG SO WELL.
I HAVEN'T SEEN
HIM IN SIX MONTHS.
WHAT DO I DO? DO I CALL HIM?
WHAT IF I'M WRONG?
DO I NOT CALL HIM?
WHAT DO YOU THINK, MR. BURNETT?
ME? WELL, I'D SAY THAT
COMMUNICATION IS ALWAYS GOOD...
UNLESS OF COURSE IT'S
THE WRONG COMMUNICATION,
IN WHICH CASE IT
COULD BE HARMFUL.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, FRED.
WELL, I'VE LIVED.
WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD
SIT ON IT FOR A LITTLE WHILE
AND DON'T MAKE
ANY RASH DECISIONS.
YEAH, UNLESS OF COURSE
IT'S THE RIGHT RASH DECISION.
THANKS.
OH, BLAIR, DON'T DO THAT.
COME ON, YOU'RE JUST GONNA
GET IN A FIGHT OVER NOTHING,
AND THEN YOU'RE
GONNA HANG UP ON HIM,
AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA WONDER
IF HE'S GONNA CALL YOU BACK.
JO, I'VE MADE UP MY MIND.
I SHOULD HAVE DONE
THIS A LONG TIME AGO.
MOTHER? MOTHER, I NEED YOU.
WELL, MOM, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I LOVE IT!
OH, IT HAS SO MUCH ENERGY.
OH, BLAIR, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.
COMING UP FOR THE
IDEA FOR THIS PLACE,
DESIGNING IT ALL BY YOURSELF.
WELL, I... I DIDN'T
DESIGN IT ALL BY MYSELF.
THAT'S RIGHT, WE
HELPED A LITTLE.
WE MOPPED HER BROW
WHILE SHE WAS CREATING.
OH, THERE ARE SO MANY
CHARMING THINGS HERE.
I HOPE I BROUGHT MY CHECKBOOK.
WELL, WE ALSO TAKE
ALL TRAVELERS CHECKS,
ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS,
AND WE HAVE A
FANTASTIC LAYAWAY PLAN.
OH, I MUST HAVE THESE.
YOU MUST?
THEY ARE SO CUTE.
LOOK, LITTLE CUBES
WITH DOTS ON THEM.
WE CALL THEM DICE.
YOU SHOULD. THEY'RE ADORABLE.
AND PRACTICAL, YOU KNOW,
FOR THOSE SPUR OF
THE MOMENT CRAP GAMES.
IF WE'RE GONNA DRUM UP BUSINESS,
WE HAVE TO THINK BIG, FRED.
MRS. GARRETT'S RIGHT.
WE GOTTA THINK DRAMATIC.
A CONTEST.
GUESS THE NUMBER OF
THUMBTACKS IN THE JAR
AND WIN A POWER MOWER.
YOU'RE COMING ALONG,
FRED, COMING ALONG.
EDNA.
MONICA! OH! EDNA.
IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
THIS IS BLAIR'S MOTHER.
I'D LIKE YOU TO
MEET FRED BURNETT
AND HIS SON GEORGE.
HOW DO YOU DO? HOW DO YOU DO?
FRED OWNS THE HARDWARE
STORE ACROSS THE STREET.
A HARDWARE STORE? OH,
MAYBE I'LL WANDER DOWN
AND BUY A, UH... UH... UM...
WE'RE HAVING A
SPECIAL ON YARD RAKES.
DO YOU HAVE A YARD?
SEVERAL.
WELL, IN THAT CASE,
YOU'LL NEED ONE METAL,
ONE BAMBOO... HEY,
SELL, SELL, SELL.
COME ON, DAD, STORE
HOURS ARE OVER.
LET'S GRAB SOME DINNER.
OH, I HAVE A WONDERFUL IDEA.
WHY DON'T I JUST TAKE
EVERYONE OUT TO DINNER?
WELL, THANK YOU AND BLESS YOU.
TELL ME THE BEST PLACE IN TOWN.
UM, HOW ABOUT THE RUSTLER?
STEAK, GREAT. OH, NO, NO, NO.
NOT THE ONE WITH THE HOSTESS
WITH THE HAT AND THE SIX GUNS.
WHAT'S THE SECOND BEST PLACE?
OH, THERE'S LARRY'S, THAT
LITTLE ARMENIAN PLACE.
GREAT, GREAT! I ALMOST
MARRIED A LITTLE ARMENIAN ONCE.
IT WAS VERY GENEROUS
OF YOU TO INVITE US, BUT...
OH, POOH! IT'S TOTALLY SELFISH.
I JUST LOVE BEING
SURROUNDED BY ATTRACTIVE MEN.
WELL, I'LL JUST GO
PUT ON A FRESH SHIRT.
YOU, TOO.
BACK IN A JIFF.
THANKS AGAIN FOR COMING, MOM.
I WAS PLANNING A TRIP ANYWAY.
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT
I SHOULD DO ABOUT BEN.
I MEAN, SHOULD I
CALL HIM OR NOT?
HERE'S HIS LATEST LETTER.
I UNDERLINED THE SECTIONS WHERE I
THINK HE'S TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING.
YOU'VE UNDERLINED EVERYTHING.
WELL, MAYBE I'M READING
TOO MUCH INTO IT.
MAYBE I'M JUST PARANOID.
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST... CALL HIM.
THERE'S SOMETHING BREWING.
ARE YOU SURE?
WELL, YOU CALLED IN AN EXPERT.
I FORGOT HOW GOOD YOU WERE.
YOU COULD HAVE HANDLED
THIS OVER THE PHONE.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
I LIKE IT WHEN YOU
AND I CAN REALLY TALK
AND YOU CAN TELL
ME YOUR PROBLEMS...
SO YOU REALLY THINK
I SHOULD CALL HIM?
AND I COULD TELL YOU MINE.
WHAT IF A WOMAN ANSWERS?
I COULD TELL YOU MINE.
HMM?
UH, NEVER MIND.
YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?
I'M PREGNANT.
RIGHT.
YOU'RE NOT KIDDING.
YOU CAN'T BE PREGNANT. YOU
AND STEVE ARE GETTING A DIVORCE.
THAT'S WHAT I TOLD THE DOCTOR,
BUT HE DIDN'T SEEM TO FEEL
THAT MADE ANY
DIFFERENCE BIOLOGICALLY.
I CAN'T... I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
WELL, WE WERE IN
MY LAWYER'S OFFICE,
AND HE INSISTED, BEFORE STEVE
AND I FILED THE FINAL PAPERS,
WE SIT DOWN AND TRY
FOR A RECONCILIATION.
AND?
WELL, STEVE AND I SAT DOWN.
HE WAS WEARING HIS HARRIS TWEED
AND A TIE CLASP I GAVE HIM,
AND WE STARTED TO REMINISCE.
AND THE REMINISCING
GOT OUT OF HAND.
ARE... ARE YOU OKAY?
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
I'M FINE!
AND I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW
THAT WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS.
MOTHER, WE HAVEN'T
TALKED ABOUT THIS.
WHAT HAPPENS NOW? ARE YOU
AND STEVE GETTING BACK TOGETHER?
WHAT DOES HE SAY?
WE'RE READY TO GO.
WONDERFUL! OH, IT'S BEEN AGES
SINCE I'VE HAD ARMENIAN FOOD.
AFTER SERGEI AND I BROKE UP I
COULDN'T LOOK A FALAFEL IN THE FACE.
YOU HAVE TO TELL
US ABOUT THIS GUY.
I WANT TO HEAR DETAILS.
I DON'T KNOW,
EDNA. IT'S, UH, IT'S...
IT'S BOLD, FRED, AND
UNCONVENTIONAL.
DON'T YOU EVER WANT TO BREAK
OUT AND DO SOMETHING DARING?
WELL, MAYBE I SHOULD GO WITH
THAT IDEA MY CUSTOMER HAD.
I'M SORRY, FRED, YOU ARE NOT
GOING ON TV DRESSED AS A NAIL
AND SINGING IF I HAD A HAMMER.
WORST MOUSSAKA ON
THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
THE SERVICE WAS WONDERFUL.
WELL, IT WAS FOR YOU.
WE DIDN'T GET A
TOUR OF THE KITCHEN.
HOW WAS IT BACK THERE?
YOU'LL SLEEP BETTER
IF YOU DON'T KNOW. OH!
WHO'S FOR ESPRESSO?
ONLY IF IT'S DECAF. YOU GOT IT.
I'LL JOIN YOU.
MOTHER, I WAS THINKING
MAYBE WE COULD TALK.
OH, TRY ME LATER.
I'LL BE ASLEEP LATER.
TRY ME TOMORROW.
SO WHAT'S UP WITH YOU?
YOU DIDN'T SAY THREE
WORDS ALL THROUGH DINNER.
YES, I DID.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU
SAID, "NO MORE MOUSSAKA."
YOU WERE FLIRTING.
TOOTIE, I DO NOT
FLIRT WITH BUSBOYS.
YOU HAD HIM FILL YOUR
WATER GLASS 17 TIMES.
I WAS VERY THIRSTY. UH-HUH.
CAN I HELP IT IF
HE WAS AFTER ME?
HE'S A STRANGER IN OUR COUNTRY,
I WANTED TO LET HIM DOWN EASY.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU UPSET ABOUT?
I'M NOT UPSET.
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR
MOTHER TOLD YOU SHE WAS PREGNANT
BY HER SOON-TO-BE EX-HUSBAND?
YOUR MOTHER'S PREGNANT?
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY!
OH, COME ON, TAKE
IT EASY, GUYS, HUH?
OH, YOUR MOTHER'S
GONNA HAVE A BABY?
THIS IS SO EXCITING.
I THINK SO.
OOH, WHAT DOES
YOUR MOTHER THINK?
I DON'T KNOW, I HAVEN'T
BEEN ABLE TO GET HER ALONE
FOR FIVE MINUTES TO DISCUSS IT.
MAYBE SHE'S JUST EMBARRASSED.
I MEAN, SHE IS FACING
UNWED MOTHERHOOD.
AREN'T YOU BEING A LITTLE
DRAMATIC HERE, BLAIR?
I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S GONNA
HAVE TO LEAVE TOWN IN DISGRACE.
YEAH, SHE GOT PREGNANT BY
HER EX-HUSBAND. THAT HAPPENS.
I THINK WE HAVE A CARD IN
THE SHOP FOR THAT OCCASION.
I DON'T THINK THE FULL IMPACT
OF THIS HAS HIT MY MOTHER.
SHE HAS TO START
TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY,
START MAKING PLANS.
BLAIR, WHY DON'T YOU
LET HER EASE INTO IT?
SHE DOES HAVE A FEW MONTHS.
OKAY.
I'LL GIVE HER TILL THE MORNING.
THINK ABOUT IT.
MY MOTHER, PREGNANT.
MONICA, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF SKYWRITING?
HATE IT. CAUSES TAN LINES.
ARE YOU SURE IT'S
NOT TOO UNDIGNIFIED?
MY FATHER ALWAYS SAID IF
YOU HAVE A GOOD PRODUCT
PEOPLE WILL COME FIND YOU.
HOGWASH, FRED.
IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW
YOU'RE THERE YOU HAVE TO ADVERTISE.
WHY DO YOU THINK I SPEND TWO HOURS
EVERY MORNING PUTTING ON MAKEUP?
NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME, FRED.
WE'RE DOING THE SKYWRITING.
IT WILL BE A BIG SUCCESS.
YOUR NAME WILL BE
A HOUSEHOLD WORD.
WELL, I NEVER SOUGHT FAME,
BUT IF IT'S THRUST UPON ME...
ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT, I'LL DO IT.
GREAT! ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS LOOK FOR A SKYWRITER.
YEAH, HE'LL PROBABLY
HIT A BARN AND SUE US.
OH, FRED!
THE COWS WILL BE SCARED
AND THEY'LL GIVE BAD MILK,
AND THE PEOPLE WHO
DRINK THE MILK WILL SUE US.
HI, MOM.
OH. JOIN ME FOR COFFEE?
ARE YOU SURE YOU
SHOULD BE DRINKING IT?
I'M IN ONE OF MY RECKLESS MOODS.
MOM, I KNOW YOU MUST
HAVE A LOT ON YOUR MIND.
WELL, SO DO YOU, DARLING,
AND I THINK YOU'RE HANDLING THE
SHOCK OF THIS WHOLE THING VERY WELL.
YOU KNOW WHAT I
WAS THINKING ABOUT?
ABOUT WHEN I WAS LITTLE I
WAS ALWAYS PESTERING YOU
TO HAVE A LITTLE BABY
BROTHER OR SISTER
FOR ME TO PLAY
HIDE-AND-SEEK WITH.
WELL, YOU FINALLY CAME THROUGH.
BLAIR. I DON'T KNOW IF I'M
ANY GOOD AT IT ANYMORE,
BUT HOW HARD CAN IT
BE TO HIDE FROM A BABY?
BLAIR, THERE ISN'T
GOING TO BE ANY BABY.
I'M NOT GOING THROUGH WITH IT.
WHEN DID YOU DECIDE THIS?
SAME DAY I FOUND
OUT I WAS PREGNANT.
I SEE.
SO, WHAT, YOU CAME
HERE FOR MY BLESSING?
IT WASN'T AN EASY DECISION.
NO, IT TOOK A WHOLE DAY.
WHAT'D YOU DO, FLIP A COIN?
OH, BLAIR, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
I'M SORRY, MOTHER.
HERE, TAKE YOUR TIME.
MAKE IT TWO OUT OF THREE.
ALL MY LIFE SHE'S HAD THIS
POLICY OF PROTECTING ME
FROM LIFE'S LITTLE REALITIES.
I DIDN'T KNOW SHE AND DADDY
WERE GETTING A DIVORCE
UNTIL I HEARD OUR
HOUSEKEEPER TALKING.
WHEN SHE DISCOVERED
THE LUMP IN HER BREAST
I HAD TO HEAR FROM HER DOCTOR.
WHY DOES SHE HAVE
TO TELL ME THIS?
DOES SHE EXPECT MY APPROVAL?
DOES SHE THINK I'D HOLD HER
HAND ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL,
TELL HER JOKES TO
KEEP HER SPIRITS UP?
I THINK SHE EXPECTED
YOU TO UNDERSTAND.
WELL, SHE EXPECTED TOO MUCH.
BLAIR, THIS IS NOT
HAPPENING TO YOU.
YOUR MOTHER IS THE ONE WHO'S
TRYING TO FIND HER WAY THROUGH THIS.
THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE TOUGHEST
DECISION SHE'S EVER MADE.
YOU BET IT IS.
I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING
A PRIVATE CONVERSATION?
FORGIVE US FOR PRYING.
WE HAPPEN TO BE LYING IN
OUR BEDS THREE FEET AWAY.
BELIEVE ME, BLAIR, THIS
IS ONE CONVERSATION
WE WOULD HAVE
GLADLY SLEPT THROUGH.
YEAH, I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
AS LONG AS WE'RE UP.
I JUST WANT TO ASK YOU WHY YOU'RE
PUTTING YOURSELF THROUGH THIS...
TALKING ABOUT IT, ANALYZING IT.
YOU KNOW YOUR MOTHER,
SHE'S GONNA DO WHAT SHE WANTS.
JUST LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES.
SHE GETS MARRIED, SHE ENDS IT.
SHE GETS MARRIED
AGAIN, SHE ENDS IT.
SHE GETS PREGNANT, SHE
WANTS TO END THAT, TOO.
BLAIR, SHE'S NOT A YOUNG WOMAN.
I MEAN, TO GO THROUGH A
PREGNANCY, THEN CHILDBIRTH?
THEN GETTING UP AT
NIGHT, CHANGING DIAPERS,
RUNNING AFTER A TWO-YEAR-OLD?
THAT'S ROUGH. I KNOW.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
MY MOTHER TOLD ME.
SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU AGREE
WITH WHAT MY MOTHER'S DOING?
NO.
I DON'T KNOW, I MEAN, I KNOW
WHAT I THINK WHEN I READ ABOUT IT
OR I HEAR OTHER
PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT IT.
IT'S NEVER BEEN THIS
PERSONAL BEFORE.
NO, IT HASN'T.
YOU KNOW, THE ONLY PERSON
WHO CAN MAKE THIS
DECISION IS YOUR MOTHER.
BABIES SHOULD BE WANTED.
I WONDER IF SHE WANTED ME.
WHAT?
SHE WAS YOUNG AND
RICH AND BEAUTIFUL.
A BABY WAS PROBABLY
AN INCONVENIENCE.
MAYBE SHE THOUGHT
ABOUT NOT HAVING ME.
OH, COME ON, BLAIR, YOU'RE
BEING CRAZY NOW, YOU KNOW THAT.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK, JO,
ABOUT WHAT MY MOTHER'S DOING?
I HAVE NO RIGHT TO
JUDGE YOUR MOTHER.
OH, COME ON. YOU
WOULD HAVE THE BABY.
LOOK, WHATEVER
YOUR MOTHER DECIDES,
IN TIME YOU GUYS
WILL GET PAST IT.
OH, I SUPPOSE YOU THINK
I'LL BUY A NEW OUTFIT
AND THE WHOLE THING
WILL SEEM LESS IMPORTANT?
THAT'S NOT WHAT I THINK.
JO, THIS IS FAMILY
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
HOW CAN SHE SAY NO TO THAT?
WELL, HOW ARE YOU
THIS MORNING, MONICA?
JUST FINE, EDNA.
I ALWAYS SEEM TO SLEEP
BETTER IN THE COUNTRY.
FRANCE BEST OF ALL.
WELL, IS BLAIR TAKING
YOU TO THE TRAIN?
NO. I'LL CALL A CAB.
I THOUGHT I'D JUST LET
HER SLEEP IN THIS MORNING.
YOU REALIZE YOU'RE GONNA MISS
SEEING OUR BANNER FLY OVER PEEKSKILL?
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SKYWRITER?
TOO EXPENSIVE.
BUT I FOUND A CROP DUSTER
WHO WILL DO IT FOR
THE GAS AND THE GLORY.
EDNA, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME?
WELL, HOW DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, THE KIND OF PERSON I AM.
I JUST LIKE TO HEAR
YOUR IMPRESSIONS.
WELL, YOU'RE GRACIOUS
AND CHARMING AND CULTURED.
A WOMAN WHO ALWAYS SAYS
THE RIGHT THING AT THE RIGHT TIME.
YOU'RE VERY SWEET.
SEE? RIGHT THING, RIGHT TIME.
IS SOMETHING
BOTHERING YOU, MONICA?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE I'M JUST IN
ONE OF THOSE MOODS.
YOU KNOW, FEELING LIKE I
HAVEN'T DONE ENOUGH WITH MY LIFE.
BUT YOU'RE SUCH AN
ACCOMPLISHED PERSON.
NOT LIKE YOU.
YOU BROUGHT UP TWO
SONS BY YOURSELF,
STARTED A BUSINESS...
YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING
TO REALLY BE PROUD OF.
WELL, YOU HAVE BLAIR.
YOU CERTAINLY CAN
BE PROUD OF HER.
AND I SUSPECT YOU CAN TAKE
PARTIAL CREDIT FOR THAT, TOO.
WELL, I'VE JUST BEEN A FRIEND.
NO, YOU WERE SOMEONE
SHE COULD ALWAYS TURN TO...
AND I WASN'T.
AND I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER
REALLY THANKED YOU FOR THAT.
NOW, LISTEN, THERE'S
SOMETHING ABOUT MOTHERS.
WE ALL WANT TO BE PERFECT,
AND NONE OF US EVER ARE.
EDNA, I'M A VERY SELFISH PERSON.
I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.
THE LAST THING I
NEED IN MY LIFE IS A...
HOBBY. THE HOBBY HUNTER.
OH, TO RAISE BEES
IN YOUR SPARE TIME.
I THINK I'LL STICK
TO SPENDING MONEY.
SIT.
OH, MY, YOU LOOK
DAPPER TODAY, FRED.
THANK YOU, MONICA.
I CONVINCED HIM TO BREAK
OUT THE DRESS GRAYS.
I, HEH, USUALLY RESERVE
THEM FOR THE CHRISTMAS PARTY
OR THE LABOR DAY
SPECTACULAR, BUT WHAT THE HECK?
WHAT THE HECK?
I EVEN BROUGHT
SOMETHING SPARKLING.
OH, FRED, IN THE MORNING?
EH, WE'LL ADD ORANGE
JUICE AND TELL NO ONE.
GEORGE, YOUR FATHER
CAN BE OUTRAGEOUS.
YEAH, HE'S A WILD
MAN, ALL RIGHT.
TEN MINUTES TO 9:00, WE
BETTER ASSUME OUR POSITIONS.
AH.
EXCUSE ME, I... I
HAVE A PLANE COMING.
I UNDERSTAND.
AND, EDNA, THANK
YOU FOR THE COFFEE.
YOU'RE WELCOME, MONICA.
AND PLEASE, TRY NOT TO
BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.
WHY NOT? IT WOULD
BE A NEW EXPERIENCE.
WHAT, NO GOODBYE?
I SAID GOODBYE. I
OPENED YOUR DOOR,
YOU WERE SLEEPING AND
I WHISPERED "GOODBYE."
MOTHER, I NEED
YOU TO LISTEN TO ME.
OH, WE'RE GONNA TALK
BABY TALK AGAIN, AREN'T WE?
PLEASE.
ALL RIGHT, HONEY, I'M LISTENING.
I THINK THIS BABY
DESERVES A CHANCE.
OH, BLAIR, YOU'RE
NOT BEING REALISTIC.
I MEAN, LOOK AT
THIS SITUATION. I'M 42.
THE LAST TIME I HAD A
BABY WAS 20 YEARS AGO.
REMEMBER? THERE
COULD BE COMPLICATIONS.
THERE WON'T BE.
FINE. LET'S JUST SAY
EVERYTHING TURNS OUT GREAT.
THERE'S ANOTHER SIDE.
I HAVE MY LIFE, MY FREEDOM.
I'VE BEEN THROUGH MOTHERHOOD.
CORRECTION, I HAVE
BEEN AROUND IT.
WHAT IF SOMEONE
ELSE WANTED THE BABY?
OH, BLAIR, COME ON, I KNOW THERE
ARE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO ADOPT...
I'M TALKING ABOUT ME.
LET ME HAVE IT.
I COULD TAKE CARE OF IT, MOTHER.
NO, BLAIR. WHY?
BECAUSE I'M STILL IN COLLEGE?
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A HUSBAND?
BLAIR, DON'T YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS MEANS? YES.
YOU WOULD HAVE YOUR FREEDOM
AND THE BABY WOULD HAVE A LIFE.
BLAIR, LETTING
YOU RAISE MY CHILD
WOULD BE MY BIGGEST FAILURE.
WHY?
FOR THE SECOND TIME I WOULD BE
TURNING OVER THE RESPONSIBILITY
OF MY CHILD, NOT TO A NANNY
OR A SCHOOL BUT TO YOU.
MOTHER, I WISH
YOU'D STOP FEELING
SO GUILTY ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD.
WE'RE STILL HERE, AREN'T WE?
AND WHO DID I TURN TO
WHEN I HAD A PROBLEM?
OKAY, SO YOU MISSED
A FEW RECITALS.
AND WHEN I HAD MY COMING
OUT I CAME OUT ALONE.
BUT I ALWAYS KNEW HOW
MUCH I MEANT TO YOU.
I REMEMBER YOU TALKING
TO ME EVERY NIGHT.
YOU'D SIT ON THE EDGE OF MY BED,
TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT
YOU WERE SLEEPING.
HEARD IT EVERY TIME.
OH, BLAIR, YOU
KNOW WHAT I... FELT
WHEN DR. SIMPSON
TOLD ME I WAS PREGNANT?
I MEAN, THAT FIRST MOMENT.
JOY.
PURE JOY.
THEN I SAID, "MONICA,
"YOU'RE NOT A
YOUNG GIRL ANYMORE.
"YOUR MARRIAGE IS OVER...
YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN
THINK ABOUT HAVING A BABY."
WELL, THINK ABOUT IT.
BUT, BLAIR, I TRAVEL.
I HAVE PROJECTS.
AND WHAT WERE YOU
DOING WHEN YOU HAD ME?
I TRAVELED, I HAD PROJECTS.
AND I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT
MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE
IF I'D NEVER HAD YOU.
WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING THEY MAKE SUCH
ATTRACTIVE MATERNITY CLOTHES THESE DAYS.
I'VE ONLY GOT ONE SHOT LEFT.
THEN DON'T BLOW IT.
TERRIFIC, NO PRESSURE.
YOU GO ON IN THERE,
I'M GONNA TRY BEN FIRST.
PEEKSKILL'S GONNA BE
TALKING ABOUT THIS FOR YEARS.
THIS IS SO EXCITING.
YOU HAVE GOT TO GET OUT MORE.
OPERATOR, I'D LIKE TO MAKE
A PERSON TO PERSON CALL
TO MR. BEN RUTLEDGE.
Mrs. Garrett: YOU'RE
SHAKING, FRED.
Fred: WELL, THAT'S OUR
FUTURE UP THERE, EDNA.
WAIT A MINUTE, I THINK
I HEAR SOMETHING.
9:00, RIGHT ON THE BUTTON.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I'M WAITING FOR SOMEONE
TO DO THE TATTOO IMPRESSION,
SO JUST DO ONE,
GET IT OVER WITH.
THE PLANE, THE PLANE!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
OH, HERE HE COMES!
HEY, PEEKSKILL, LOOK UP!
All: "BURNETT'S HARDWARE
OVER OUR HEADS.
COME SEE ABOUT US."
BEN? BEN, IT'S ME.
OH, I MISSED YOU, TOO.
I HAVE WONDERFUL NEWS.
GUESS WHO'S PREGNANT?
GUESS AGAIN.
---
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ THEN SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
TOOTIE, THE LETTER
WAS ADDRESSED TO ME.
I JUST WANT TO
KNOW WHO'S IT FROM.
IT'S PRIVATE! I
RESPECT YOUR PRIVACY.
I EXPECT YOU TO DO THE SAME.
"LOVE, BEN." IT'S FROM
HER BOYFRIEND BEN.
THE "WOULD YOU RUN AWAY WITH
ME?" "NO, I CAN'T, I'M NOT READY YET" BEN.
IS HE STILL IN ALASKA?
ANCHORAGE, BUT HE
SAYS HE'D RATHER BE HERE.
THAT IS ENOUGH. IF
YOU TWO DON'T MIND,
I WOULD LIKE TO READ
MY LETTER BEFORE YOU DO.
WELL, EXCUSE US FOR LIVING.
OH! WE'RE THROUGH.
HE JUST COMES
RIGHT OUT AND SAYS IT.
WHAT'S HE SAY?
"I MISS YOU SO MUCH, IT HURTS."
THE SCUM.
"NOT A DAY GOES BY
THAT I DON'T THINK OF YOU."
ABSOLUTE SLIME.
"NOT A DAY GOES BY".
THIS IS THE ARCTIC.
THE DAYS ARE SIX MONTHS LONG.
BLAIR, THE MAN IS
IN A LOGGING CAMP,
JUST HIM, 50 LUMBERJACKS
AND A COOK NAMED PAPOOK.
IF THERE IS A WOMAN WITHIN
A THOUSAND MILES OF BEN
SHE'LL CLIMB OVER
GLACIERS TO GET TO HIM.
LOOK AT THIS. THREE MONTHS AGO,
IT WAS "I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH."
LAST MONTH, "I LOVE YOU."
NOW IT'S JUST "LOVE."
I'M A PEN PAL.
BLAIR.
DON'T TRY AND ARGUE.
SHE'S A WOMAN IN LOVE.
WELL, WHAT CAN I
DO? DO I CALL HIM?
SEND A TELEGRAM?
FLY TO ALASKA?
FLY TO ALASKA.
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT MY PROBLEM IS.
DOES IT MATTER?
I ALMOST WENT TO ALASKA.
IT WAS THAT OR KUWAIT. THERE'S
A LOT OF CONSTRUCTION UP THERE.
SOME TERRIFIC OPPORTUNITIES.
WHY DIDN'T YOU GO?
AH, TOO MANY WOMEN UP THERE.
I HAD TO GET AWAY FROM ALL THAT.
NOW, REALLY, ISN'T
THE RIGHT TIME...
NO, REALLY, A LOT OF
PEOPLE, THEY THINK ALASKA
AND THEY THINK IT'S ALL
MINERS AND DOG SLEDS,
BUT LET ME TELL YOU... GEORGE.
FROM WHAT I HEAR THERE
ARE WOMEN EVERYWHERE.
THANK YOU, GEORGE.
THEY EVEN HAVE
COED LUMBER CAMPS.
ENOUGH, GEORGE.
THE LOVE BOAT GOES THERE NOW.
LET'S GO.
I KNOW THIS ONE GUY WHO
WENT, THEY CALLED HIM LUCKY ED.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?
NO.
HI, GEORGE. HI, MRS. G. HI, DAD.
TELL THEM YOUR ALASKA STORIES.
OH, YEAH. WELL, IT
WAS BACK IN 1949...
NOT NOW, FRED.
GIRLS, YOU ARE NOW
LOOKING AT THE NEWLY-FORMED
HIGH STREET
MERCHANT ASSOCIATION.
WHAT, JUST YOU AND FRED?
WE'RE STARTING SMALL.
THAT NEW MALL IS TAKING
AWAY A LOT OF OUR BUSINESS.
THIS IS OUR WAY OF
LOOKING OUT FOR OURSELVES.
EDNA AND I HAVE
DEVELOPED NUMEROUS IDEAS.
WELL, THEY'RE ALL IN THE
PLANNING STAGES, ANYWAY.
BLAIR GOT A LETTER FROM BEN.
SHE THINKS HE'S
PLAYING FAST AND LOOSE.
BEN? I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
OH, JUST PASS IT AROUND.
LATER, WE CAN
POST IT IN THE SHOP.
I THOUGHT YOU AND BEN
WERE GETTING ALONG SO WELL.
I HAVEN'T SEEN
HIM IN SIX MONTHS.
WHAT DO I DO? DO I CALL HIM?
WHAT IF I'M WRONG?
DO I NOT CALL HIM?
WHAT DO YOU THINK, MR. BURNETT?
ME? WELL, I'D SAY THAT
COMMUNICATION IS ALWAYS GOOD...
UNLESS OF COURSE IT'S
THE WRONG COMMUNICATION,
IN WHICH CASE IT
COULD BE HARMFUL.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, FRED.
WELL, I'VE LIVED.
WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD
SIT ON IT FOR A LITTLE WHILE
AND DON'T MAKE
ANY RASH DECISIONS.
YEAH, UNLESS OF COURSE
IT'S THE RIGHT RASH DECISION.
THANKS.
OH, BLAIR, DON'T DO THAT.
COME ON, YOU'RE JUST GONNA
GET IN A FIGHT OVER NOTHING,
AND THEN YOU'RE
GONNA HANG UP ON HIM,
AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA WONDER
IF HE'S GONNA CALL YOU BACK.
JO, I'VE MADE UP MY MIND.
I SHOULD HAVE DONE
THIS A LONG TIME AGO.
MOTHER? MOTHER, I NEED YOU.
WELL, MOM, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I LOVE IT!
OH, IT HAS SO MUCH ENERGY.
OH, BLAIR, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.
COMING UP FOR THE
IDEA FOR THIS PLACE,
DESIGNING IT ALL BY YOURSELF.
WELL, I... I DIDN'T
DESIGN IT ALL BY MYSELF.
THAT'S RIGHT, WE
HELPED A LITTLE.
WE MOPPED HER BROW
WHILE SHE WAS CREATING.
OH, THERE ARE SO MANY
CHARMING THINGS HERE.
I HOPE I BROUGHT MY CHECKBOOK.
WELL, WE ALSO TAKE
ALL TRAVELERS CHECKS,
ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS,
AND WE HAVE A
FANTASTIC LAYAWAY PLAN.
OH, I MUST HAVE THESE.
YOU MUST?
THEY ARE SO CUTE.
LOOK, LITTLE CUBES
WITH DOTS ON THEM.
WE CALL THEM DICE.
YOU SHOULD. THEY'RE ADORABLE.
AND PRACTICAL, YOU KNOW,
FOR THOSE SPUR OF
THE MOMENT CRAP GAMES.
IF WE'RE GONNA DRUM UP BUSINESS,
WE HAVE TO THINK BIG, FRED.
MRS. GARRETT'S RIGHT.
WE GOTTA THINK DRAMATIC.
A CONTEST.
GUESS THE NUMBER OF
THUMBTACKS IN THE JAR
AND WIN A POWER MOWER.
YOU'RE COMING ALONG,
FRED, COMING ALONG.
EDNA.
MONICA! OH! EDNA.
IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
THIS IS BLAIR'S MOTHER.
I'D LIKE YOU TO
MEET FRED BURNETT
AND HIS SON GEORGE.
HOW DO YOU DO? HOW DO YOU DO?
FRED OWNS THE HARDWARE
STORE ACROSS THE STREET.
A HARDWARE STORE? OH,
MAYBE I'LL WANDER DOWN
AND BUY A, UH... UH... UM...
WE'RE HAVING A
SPECIAL ON YARD RAKES.
DO YOU HAVE A YARD?
SEVERAL.
WELL, IN THAT CASE,
YOU'LL NEED ONE METAL,
ONE BAMBOO... HEY,
SELL, SELL, SELL.
COME ON, DAD, STORE
HOURS ARE OVER.
LET'S GRAB SOME DINNER.
OH, I HAVE A WONDERFUL IDEA.
WHY DON'T I JUST TAKE
EVERYONE OUT TO DINNER?
WELL, THANK YOU AND BLESS YOU.
TELL ME THE BEST PLACE IN TOWN.
UM, HOW ABOUT THE RUSTLER?
STEAK, GREAT. OH, NO, NO, NO.
NOT THE ONE WITH THE HOSTESS
WITH THE HAT AND THE SIX GUNS.
WHAT'S THE SECOND BEST PLACE?
OH, THERE'S LARRY'S, THAT
LITTLE ARMENIAN PLACE.
GREAT, GREAT! I ALMOST
MARRIED A LITTLE ARMENIAN ONCE.
IT WAS VERY GENEROUS
OF YOU TO INVITE US, BUT...
OH, POOH! IT'S TOTALLY SELFISH.
I JUST LOVE BEING
SURROUNDED BY ATTRACTIVE MEN.
WELL, I'LL JUST GO
PUT ON A FRESH SHIRT.
YOU, TOO.
BACK IN A JIFF.
THANKS AGAIN FOR COMING, MOM.
I WAS PLANNING A TRIP ANYWAY.
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT
I SHOULD DO ABOUT BEN.
I MEAN, SHOULD I
CALL HIM OR NOT?
HERE'S HIS LATEST LETTER.
I UNDERLINED THE SECTIONS WHERE I
THINK HE'S TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING.
YOU'VE UNDERLINED EVERYTHING.
WELL, MAYBE I'M READING
TOO MUCH INTO IT.
MAYBE I'M JUST PARANOID.
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST... CALL HIM.
THERE'S SOMETHING BREWING.
ARE YOU SURE?
WELL, YOU CALLED IN AN EXPERT.
I FORGOT HOW GOOD YOU WERE.
YOU COULD HAVE HANDLED
THIS OVER THE PHONE.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
I LIKE IT WHEN YOU
AND I CAN REALLY TALK
AND YOU CAN TELL
ME YOUR PROBLEMS...
SO YOU REALLY THINK
I SHOULD CALL HIM?
AND I COULD TELL YOU MINE.
WHAT IF A WOMAN ANSWERS?
I COULD TELL YOU MINE.
HMM?
UH, NEVER MIND.
YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?
I'M PREGNANT.
RIGHT.
YOU'RE NOT KIDDING.
YOU CAN'T BE PREGNANT. YOU
AND STEVE ARE GETTING A DIVORCE.
THAT'S WHAT I TOLD THE DOCTOR,
BUT HE DIDN'T SEEM TO FEEL
THAT MADE ANY
DIFFERENCE BIOLOGICALLY.
I CAN'T... I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
WELL, WE WERE IN
MY LAWYER'S OFFICE,
AND HE INSISTED, BEFORE STEVE
AND I FILED THE FINAL PAPERS,
WE SIT DOWN AND TRY
FOR A RECONCILIATION.
AND?
WELL, STEVE AND I SAT DOWN.
HE WAS WEARING HIS HARRIS TWEED
AND A TIE CLASP I GAVE HIM,
AND WE STARTED TO REMINISCE.
AND THE REMINISCING
GOT OUT OF HAND.
ARE... ARE YOU OKAY?
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
I'M FINE!
AND I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW
THAT WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS.
MOTHER, WE HAVEN'T
TALKED ABOUT THIS.
WHAT HAPPENS NOW? ARE YOU
AND STEVE GETTING BACK TOGETHER?
WHAT DOES HE SAY?
WE'RE READY TO GO.
WONDERFUL! OH, IT'S BEEN AGES
SINCE I'VE HAD ARMENIAN FOOD.
AFTER SERGEI AND I BROKE UP I
COULDN'T LOOK A FALAFEL IN THE FACE.
YOU HAVE TO TELL
US ABOUT THIS GUY.
I WANT TO HEAR DETAILS.
I DON'T KNOW,
EDNA. IT'S, UH, IT'S...
IT'S BOLD, FRED, AND
UNCONVENTIONAL.
DON'T YOU EVER WANT TO BREAK
OUT AND DO SOMETHING DARING?
WELL, MAYBE I SHOULD GO WITH
THAT IDEA MY CUSTOMER HAD.
I'M SORRY, FRED, YOU ARE NOT
GOING ON TV DRESSED AS A NAIL
AND SINGING IF I HAD A HAMMER.
WORST MOUSSAKA ON
THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
THE SERVICE WAS WONDERFUL.
WELL, IT WAS FOR YOU.
WE DIDN'T GET A
TOUR OF THE KITCHEN.
HOW WAS IT BACK THERE?
YOU'LL SLEEP BETTER
IF YOU DON'T KNOW. OH!
WHO'S FOR ESPRESSO?
ONLY IF IT'S DECAF. YOU GOT IT.
I'LL JOIN YOU.
MOTHER, I WAS THINKING
MAYBE WE COULD TALK.
OH, TRY ME LATER.
I'LL BE ASLEEP LATER.
TRY ME TOMORROW.
SO WHAT'S UP WITH YOU?
YOU DIDN'T SAY THREE
WORDS ALL THROUGH DINNER.
YES, I DID.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU
SAID, "NO MORE MOUSSAKA."
YOU WERE FLIRTING.
TOOTIE, I DO NOT
FLIRT WITH BUSBOYS.
YOU HAD HIM FILL YOUR
WATER GLASS 17 TIMES.
I WAS VERY THIRSTY. UH-HUH.
CAN I HELP IT IF
HE WAS AFTER ME?
HE'S A STRANGER IN OUR COUNTRY,
I WANTED TO LET HIM DOWN EASY.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU UPSET ABOUT?
I'M NOT UPSET.
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR
MOTHER TOLD YOU SHE WAS PREGNANT
BY HER SOON-TO-BE EX-HUSBAND?
YOUR MOTHER'S PREGNANT?
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY!
OH, COME ON, TAKE
IT EASY, GUYS, HUH?
OH, YOUR MOTHER'S
GONNA HAVE A BABY?
THIS IS SO EXCITING.
I THINK SO.
OOH, WHAT DOES
YOUR MOTHER THINK?
I DON'T KNOW, I HAVEN'T
BEEN ABLE TO GET HER ALONE
FOR FIVE MINUTES TO DISCUSS IT.
MAYBE SHE'S JUST EMBARRASSED.
I MEAN, SHE IS FACING
UNWED MOTHERHOOD.
AREN'T YOU BEING A LITTLE
DRAMATIC HERE, BLAIR?
I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S GONNA
HAVE TO LEAVE TOWN IN DISGRACE.
YEAH, SHE GOT PREGNANT BY
HER EX-HUSBAND. THAT HAPPENS.
I THINK WE HAVE A CARD IN
THE SHOP FOR THAT OCCASION.
I DON'T THINK THE FULL IMPACT
OF THIS HAS HIT MY MOTHER.
SHE HAS TO START
TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY,
START MAKING PLANS.
BLAIR, WHY DON'T YOU
LET HER EASE INTO IT?
SHE DOES HAVE A FEW MONTHS.
OKAY.
I'LL GIVE HER TILL THE MORNING.
THINK ABOUT IT.
MY MOTHER, PREGNANT.
MONICA, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF SKYWRITING?
HATE IT. CAUSES TAN LINES.
ARE YOU SURE IT'S
NOT TOO UNDIGNIFIED?
MY FATHER ALWAYS SAID IF
YOU HAVE A GOOD PRODUCT
PEOPLE WILL COME FIND YOU.
HOGWASH, FRED.
IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW
YOU'RE THERE YOU HAVE TO ADVERTISE.
WHY DO YOU THINK I SPEND TWO HOURS
EVERY MORNING PUTTING ON MAKEUP?
NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME, FRED.
WE'RE DOING THE SKYWRITING.
IT WILL BE A BIG SUCCESS.
YOUR NAME WILL BE
A HOUSEHOLD WORD.
WELL, I NEVER SOUGHT FAME,
BUT IF IT'S THRUST UPON ME...
ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT, I'LL DO IT.
GREAT! ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS LOOK FOR A SKYWRITER.
YEAH, HE'LL PROBABLY
HIT A BARN AND SUE US.
OH, FRED!
THE COWS WILL BE SCARED
AND THEY'LL GIVE BAD MILK,
AND THE PEOPLE WHO
DRINK THE MILK WILL SUE US.
HI, MOM.
OH. JOIN ME FOR COFFEE?
ARE YOU SURE YOU
SHOULD BE DRINKING IT?
I'M IN ONE OF MY RECKLESS MOODS.
MOM, I KNOW YOU MUST
HAVE A LOT ON YOUR MIND.
WELL, SO DO YOU, DARLING,
AND I THINK YOU'RE HANDLING THE
SHOCK OF THIS WHOLE THING VERY WELL.
YOU KNOW WHAT I
WAS THINKING ABOUT?
ABOUT WHEN I WAS LITTLE I
WAS ALWAYS PESTERING YOU
TO HAVE A LITTLE BABY
BROTHER OR SISTER
FOR ME TO PLAY
HIDE-AND-SEEK WITH.
WELL, YOU FINALLY CAME THROUGH.
BLAIR. I DON'T KNOW IF I'M
ANY GOOD AT IT ANYMORE,
BUT HOW HARD CAN IT
BE TO HIDE FROM A BABY?
BLAIR, THERE ISN'T
GOING TO BE ANY BABY.
I'M NOT GOING THROUGH WITH IT.
WHEN DID YOU DECIDE THIS?
SAME DAY I FOUND
OUT I WAS PREGNANT.
I SEE.
SO, WHAT, YOU CAME
HERE FOR MY BLESSING?
IT WASN'T AN EASY DECISION.
NO, IT TOOK A WHOLE DAY.
WHAT'D YOU DO, FLIP A COIN?
OH, BLAIR, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
I'M SORRY, MOTHER.
HERE, TAKE YOUR TIME.
MAKE IT TWO OUT OF THREE.
ALL MY LIFE SHE'S HAD THIS
POLICY OF PROTECTING ME
FROM LIFE'S LITTLE REALITIES.
I DIDN'T KNOW SHE AND DADDY
WERE GETTING A DIVORCE
UNTIL I HEARD OUR
HOUSEKEEPER TALKING.
WHEN SHE DISCOVERED
THE LUMP IN HER BREAST
I HAD TO HEAR FROM HER DOCTOR.
WHY DOES SHE HAVE
TO TELL ME THIS?
DOES SHE EXPECT MY APPROVAL?
DOES SHE THINK I'D HOLD HER
HAND ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL,
TELL HER JOKES TO
KEEP HER SPIRITS UP?
I THINK SHE EXPECTED
YOU TO UNDERSTAND.
WELL, SHE EXPECTED TOO MUCH.
BLAIR, THIS IS NOT
HAPPENING TO YOU.
YOUR MOTHER IS THE ONE WHO'S
TRYING TO FIND HER WAY THROUGH THIS.
THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE TOUGHEST
DECISION SHE'S EVER MADE.
YOU BET IT IS.
I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING
A PRIVATE CONVERSATION?
FORGIVE US FOR PRYING.
WE HAPPEN TO BE LYING IN
OUR BEDS THREE FEET AWAY.
BELIEVE ME, BLAIR, THIS
IS ONE CONVERSATION
WE WOULD HAVE
GLADLY SLEPT THROUGH.
YEAH, I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
AS LONG AS WE'RE UP.
I JUST WANT TO ASK YOU WHY YOU'RE
PUTTING YOURSELF THROUGH THIS...
TALKING ABOUT IT, ANALYZING IT.
YOU KNOW YOUR MOTHER,
SHE'S GONNA DO WHAT SHE WANTS.
JUST LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES.
SHE GETS MARRIED, SHE ENDS IT.
SHE GETS MARRIED
AGAIN, SHE ENDS IT.
SHE GETS PREGNANT, SHE
WANTS TO END THAT, TOO.
BLAIR, SHE'S NOT A YOUNG WOMAN.
I MEAN, TO GO THROUGH A
PREGNANCY, THEN CHILDBIRTH?
THEN GETTING UP AT
NIGHT, CHANGING DIAPERS,
RUNNING AFTER A TWO-YEAR-OLD?
THAT'S ROUGH. I KNOW.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
MY MOTHER TOLD ME.
SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU AGREE
WITH WHAT MY MOTHER'S DOING?
NO.
I DON'T KNOW, I MEAN, I KNOW
WHAT I THINK WHEN I READ ABOUT IT
OR I HEAR OTHER
PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT IT.
IT'S NEVER BEEN THIS
PERSONAL BEFORE.
NO, IT HASN'T.
YOU KNOW, THE ONLY PERSON
WHO CAN MAKE THIS
DECISION IS YOUR MOTHER.
BABIES SHOULD BE WANTED.
I WONDER IF SHE WANTED ME.
WHAT?
SHE WAS YOUNG AND
RICH AND BEAUTIFUL.
A BABY WAS PROBABLY
AN INCONVENIENCE.
MAYBE SHE THOUGHT
ABOUT NOT HAVING ME.
OH, COME ON, BLAIR, YOU'RE
BEING CRAZY NOW, YOU KNOW THAT.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK, JO,
ABOUT WHAT MY MOTHER'S DOING?
I HAVE NO RIGHT TO
JUDGE YOUR MOTHER.
OH, COME ON. YOU
WOULD HAVE THE BABY.
LOOK, WHATEVER
YOUR MOTHER DECIDES,
IN TIME YOU GUYS
WILL GET PAST IT.
OH, I SUPPOSE YOU THINK
I'LL BUY A NEW OUTFIT
AND THE WHOLE THING
WILL SEEM LESS IMPORTANT?
THAT'S NOT WHAT I THINK.
JO, THIS IS FAMILY
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
HOW CAN SHE SAY NO TO THAT?
WELL, HOW ARE YOU
THIS MORNING, MONICA?
JUST FINE, EDNA.
I ALWAYS SEEM TO SLEEP
BETTER IN THE COUNTRY.
FRANCE BEST OF ALL.
WELL, IS BLAIR TAKING
YOU TO THE TRAIN?
NO. I'LL CALL A CAB.
I THOUGHT I'D JUST LET
HER SLEEP IN THIS MORNING.
YOU REALIZE YOU'RE GONNA MISS
SEEING OUR BANNER FLY OVER PEEKSKILL?
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SKYWRITER?
TOO EXPENSIVE.
BUT I FOUND A CROP DUSTER
WHO WILL DO IT FOR
THE GAS AND THE GLORY.
EDNA, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME?
WELL, HOW DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, THE KIND OF PERSON I AM.
I JUST LIKE TO HEAR
YOUR IMPRESSIONS.
WELL, YOU'RE GRACIOUS
AND CHARMING AND CULTURED.
A WOMAN WHO ALWAYS SAYS
THE RIGHT THING AT THE RIGHT TIME.
YOU'RE VERY SWEET.
SEE? RIGHT THING, RIGHT TIME.
IS SOMETHING
BOTHERING YOU, MONICA?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE I'M JUST IN
ONE OF THOSE MOODS.
YOU KNOW, FEELING LIKE I
HAVEN'T DONE ENOUGH WITH MY LIFE.
BUT YOU'RE SUCH AN
ACCOMPLISHED PERSON.
NOT LIKE YOU.
YOU BROUGHT UP TWO
SONS BY YOURSELF,
STARTED A BUSINESS...
YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING
TO REALLY BE PROUD OF.
WELL, YOU HAVE BLAIR.
YOU CERTAINLY CAN
BE PROUD OF HER.
AND I SUSPECT YOU CAN TAKE
PARTIAL CREDIT FOR THAT, TOO.
WELL, I'VE JUST BEEN A FRIEND.
NO, YOU WERE SOMEONE
SHE COULD ALWAYS TURN TO...
AND I WASN'T.
AND I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER
REALLY THANKED YOU FOR THAT.
NOW, LISTEN, THERE'S
SOMETHING ABOUT MOTHERS.
WE ALL WANT TO BE PERFECT,
AND NONE OF US EVER ARE.
EDNA, I'M A VERY SELFISH PERSON.
I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.
THE LAST THING I
NEED IN MY LIFE IS A...
HOBBY. THE HOBBY HUNTER.
OH, TO RAISE BEES
IN YOUR SPARE TIME.
I THINK I'LL STICK
TO SPENDING MONEY.
SIT.
OH, MY, YOU LOOK
DAPPER TODAY, FRED.
THANK YOU, MONICA.
I CONVINCED HIM TO BREAK
OUT THE DRESS GRAYS.
I, HEH, USUALLY RESERVE
THEM FOR THE CHRISTMAS PARTY
OR THE LABOR DAY
SPECTACULAR, BUT WHAT THE HECK?
WHAT THE HECK?
I EVEN BROUGHT
SOMETHING SPARKLING.
OH, FRED, IN THE MORNING?
EH, WE'LL ADD ORANGE
JUICE AND TELL NO ONE.
GEORGE, YOUR FATHER
CAN BE OUTRAGEOUS.
YEAH, HE'S A WILD
MAN, ALL RIGHT.
TEN MINUTES TO 9:00, WE
BETTER ASSUME OUR POSITIONS.
AH.
EXCUSE ME, I... I
HAVE A PLANE COMING.
I UNDERSTAND.
AND, EDNA, THANK
YOU FOR THE COFFEE.
YOU'RE WELCOME, MONICA.
AND PLEASE, TRY NOT TO
BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.
WHY NOT? IT WOULD
BE A NEW EXPERIENCE.
WHAT, NO GOODBYE?
I SAID GOODBYE. I
OPENED YOUR DOOR,
YOU WERE SLEEPING AND
I WHISPERED "GOODBYE."
MOTHER, I NEED
YOU TO LISTEN TO ME.
OH, WE'RE GONNA TALK
BABY TALK AGAIN, AREN'T WE?
PLEASE.
ALL RIGHT, HONEY, I'M LISTENING.
I THINK THIS BABY
DESERVES A CHANCE.
OH, BLAIR, YOU'RE
NOT BEING REALISTIC.
I MEAN, LOOK AT
THIS SITUATION. I'M 42.
THE LAST TIME I HAD A
BABY WAS 20 YEARS AGO.
REMEMBER? THERE
COULD BE COMPLICATIONS.
THERE WON'T BE.
FINE. LET'S JUST SAY
EVERYTHING TURNS OUT GREAT.
THERE'S ANOTHER SIDE.
I HAVE MY LIFE, MY FREEDOM.
I'VE BEEN THROUGH MOTHERHOOD.
CORRECTION, I HAVE
BEEN AROUND IT.
WHAT IF SOMEONE
ELSE WANTED THE BABY?
OH, BLAIR, COME ON, I KNOW THERE
ARE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO ADOPT...
I'M TALKING ABOUT ME.
LET ME HAVE IT.
I COULD TAKE CARE OF IT, MOTHER.
NO, BLAIR. WHY?
BECAUSE I'M STILL IN COLLEGE?
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A HUSBAND?
BLAIR, DON'T YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS MEANS? YES.
YOU WOULD HAVE YOUR FREEDOM
AND THE BABY WOULD HAVE A LIFE.
BLAIR, LETTING
YOU RAISE MY CHILD
WOULD BE MY BIGGEST FAILURE.
WHY?
FOR THE SECOND TIME I WOULD BE
TURNING OVER THE RESPONSIBILITY
OF MY CHILD, NOT TO A NANNY
OR A SCHOOL BUT TO YOU.
MOTHER, I WISH
YOU'D STOP FEELING
SO GUILTY ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD.
WE'RE STILL HERE, AREN'T WE?
AND WHO DID I TURN TO
WHEN I HAD A PROBLEM?
OKAY, SO YOU MISSED
A FEW RECITALS.
AND WHEN I HAD MY COMING
OUT I CAME OUT ALONE.
BUT I ALWAYS KNEW HOW
MUCH I MEANT TO YOU.
I REMEMBER YOU TALKING
TO ME EVERY NIGHT.
YOU'D SIT ON THE EDGE OF MY BED,
TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT
YOU WERE SLEEPING.
HEARD IT EVERY TIME.
OH, BLAIR, YOU
KNOW WHAT I... FELT
WHEN DR. SIMPSON
TOLD ME I WAS PREGNANT?
I MEAN, THAT FIRST MOMENT.
JOY.
PURE JOY.
THEN I SAID, "MONICA,
"YOU'RE NOT A
YOUNG GIRL ANYMORE.
"YOUR MARRIAGE IS OVER...
YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN
THINK ABOUT HAVING A BABY."
WELL, THINK ABOUT IT.
BUT, BLAIR, I TRAVEL.
I HAVE PROJECTS.
AND WHAT WERE YOU
DOING WHEN YOU HAD ME?
I TRAVELED, I HAD PROJECTS.
AND I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT
MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE
IF I'D NEVER HAD YOU.
WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING THEY MAKE SUCH
ATTRACTIVE MATERNITY CLOTHES THESE DAYS.
I'VE ONLY GOT ONE SHOT LEFT.
THEN DON'T BLOW IT.
TERRIFIC, NO PRESSURE.
YOU GO ON IN THERE,
I'M GONNA TRY BEN FIRST.
PEEKSKILL'S GONNA BE
TALKING ABOUT THIS FOR YEARS.
THIS IS SO EXCITING.
YOU HAVE GOT TO GET OUT MORE.
OPERATOR, I'D LIKE TO MAKE
A PERSON TO PERSON CALL
TO MR. BEN RUTLEDGE.
Mrs. Garrett: YOU'RE
SHAKING, FRED.
Fred: WELL, THAT'S OUR
FUTURE UP THERE, EDNA.
WAIT A MINUTE, I THINK
I HEAR SOMETHING.
9:00, RIGHT ON THE BUTTON.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I'M WAITING FOR SOMEONE
TO DO THE TATTOO IMPRESSION,
SO JUST DO ONE,
GET IT OVER WITH.
THE PLANE, THE PLANE!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
OH, HERE HE COMES!
HEY, PEEKSKILL, LOOK UP!
All: "BURNETT'S HARDWARE
OVER OUR HEADS.
COME SEE ABOUT US."
BEN? BEN, IT'S ME.
OH, I MISSED YOU, TOO.
I HAVE WONDERFUL NEWS.
GUESS WHO'S PREGNANT?
GUESS AGAIN.