The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 7, Episode 10 - 3, 2, 1 - full transcript

Jo handcuffs herself to Blair, who has to anchor the Langley TV station's newscast.

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♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪

♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH,
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪

♪ YOU'RE GROWIN',
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪

♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪

♪ THEN SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪



♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪

♪ YOU ♪

♪ ALL ABOUT YOU ♪

♪ YOU ♪

♪ ALL ABOUT YOU ♪

♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪

♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪

SO? WHAT?

WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT
MY NEWS STORIES?

I'M STILL READING THEM.

WHAT WAS THAT?



MINOR CHANGES.

OH, YOU HATE THEM, DON'T YOU?

DON'T BE SO PARANOID.

YOU MEAN YOU LIKE THEM?

THEY'RE VERY GOOD.

WHAT WAS THAT?

THEY CAN'T ALL BE PERFECT.

BLAIR, LET ME SEE THIS.

OH COME ON BLAIR...
THESE ARE COVERED IN RED.

YOU'VE TAKEN OUT EVERYTHING.

THERE'S NO GUTS, NO ISSUES.

I HAVEN'T TAKEN OUT EVERYTHING.

BLAIR, THE ONLY STORY YOU LEFT

WAS ABOUT THE BATES
MASCOT GETTING PREGNANT.

WE CAN'T SAY "PREGNANT."

WE'LL SAY, "SHE GOT IN TROUBLE."

BLAIR, I WRITE THE NEWS.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO READ IT.

IT'S MY FACE THAT'S ON
THE TELEVISION SCREEN.

AND IT'S OUR GRADE
ON THIS PROJECT.

I CAN'T DO A STORY
I DON'T BELIEVE IN.

YOU REALLY BELIEVE THEIR
MASCOT GOT IN TROUBLE?

SHE'S A GOAT, BLAIR.

WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED... SHE
WENT OUT PARKING WITH A BAD BILLY,

AND THINGS GOT OUT OF HAND?

COME ON.

THESE ARE IMPORTANT STORIES.

I'M AWARE OF THAT, JO.

THEY'RE VERY IMPORTANT.

THEN WHY AREN'T WE DOING THEM?

BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT APPROPRIATE.

I WANT TO GIVE OUR VIEWERS
SOMETHING RELEVANT TO THEM.

I'VE JOTTED DOWN A
FEW OF MY OWN IDEAS.

"COEDS EAT PIZZA FOR PEACE"?

PIZZA FOR PEACE?

IT'S A FRATERNITY FUND RAISER.

THEY'LL EAT IT UP.

"EAT IT UP." OH, THAT'S GOOD.

I'LL USE IT AS A CLEVER AD LIB.

YEAH, I GOT A CLEVER AD LIB.

HI GUYS. WHICH
I'LL SAVE FOR LATER.

HAS ANYBODY SEEN THE LABEL GUN.

JO, THIS IS OUR AUDIENCE.

TEENAGERS... TODAY'S YOUTH.

GO ON ASK HIM FOR YOURSELF.

ANDY, WHAT YOU DO WANT TO KNOW?

HOW DO YOU PICK UP A STEWARDESS?

GO AWAY, ANDY.

WHAT'S THE BEST APPROACH,
THE BEST OPENING LINE,

HOW DO YOU CONVINCE
SOMEONE YOU'RE A TEST PILOT.

ANDY, WHERE'S THE LABEL GUN?

I'M LOOKING, I'M LOOKING.

WE'LL ASK NAT.

COME HERE, NAT.

OK, WHICH DO YOU LIKE BETTER?

MY NEWS STORIES OR
BLAIR'S MEANINGLESS ONES?

THESE... NO CONTEST.

MINE, AND WHY DON'T
YOU TELL US WHY.

WELL, THESE HAVE RED
MARKS ALL OVER THEM.

THEY'D BE VERY HARD TO READ.

SHE DROPPED OUT OF
COLLEGE, WHAT DOES SHE KNOW?

I'M NOT ROLLING OVER
ON THIS ONE, BLAIR.

WHO ARE YOU CALLING?

I'M GOING STRAIGHT TO THE TOP.

PROFESSOR JORDAN, PLEASE.

JO, THIS IS OUR MIDTERM.

PROFESSOR JORDAN WANTS US
TO DO THIS PROGRAM ON OUR OWN.

LOOK THE MAN IS NOT AN IDIOT

I'M SURE WHEN HE HAS ALL THE
FACTS... PROFESSOR JORDAN.

JO POLNIACZEK.

YEAH, IT SEEMS THAT WE
HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM HERE.

SEE, I'VE WRITTEN SOME
TERRIFIC NEWS STORIES,

BUT BLAIR WON'T READ THEM.

I DON'T CONSIDER
THAT TO BE WHINING, SIR.

YES, I KNOW IT'S A
COLLABORATIVE MEDIUM.

IT'S JUST... YES, I
KN... I CAN'T JUST...

THANK YOU, SIR.

THE MAN'S AN IDIOT.

ALL RIGHT I'LL GIVE
YOU THE NEWS STORIES,

BUT I DECIDE WHAT COMES NEXT.

DEAL. WHAT COMES NEXT?

YOU DO A SHORT INTERVIEW THE DEAN
OF ADMISSIONS YOU'RE GONNA GRILL HIM

ABOUT THE UNOFFICIAL
QUOTA SYSTEM

FOR MINORITY STUDENTS.

NOW THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

THANK YOU.

IF ONLY I HADN'T ALREADY
ASKED SOMEBODY ELSE.

WHO?

OUR HEAD CHEERLEADER.

IF YOU WANT TO BE HELPFUL,
COME UP WITH SOMETHING

FOR OUR HUMAN INTEREST STORY.

OH CAN IT BE HUMAN, TOO?

WHAT A NOVELTY.

I'VE TURNED THE PLACE UPSIDE
DOWN... I CAN NOT FIND THE LABEL GUN.

OH, WELL, WHO HAD IT LAST?

NATALIE.

ANDY.

GEORGE.

WHAT'D I DO?

GEORGE, YOU GOTTA HELP ME
OUT HERE... I'M IN A TIGHT SPOT.

JUST SAY, "I LOST IT."
I'LL REALLY OWE YOU ONE.

I LOST IT.

TALK ABOUT IRRESPONSIBLE.

A HUMAN INTEREST STORY
HAS TO HAVE A CERTAIN QUALITY.

IT HAS TO BE... HOW
DO I SAY IT... FLASHY.

OH, GREAT, MAYBE WE
CAN FIND SOME ORPHANS

STARVING IN A DISCO.

AAH!

I JUST SHOT MYSELF.

YOU SEE, GEORGE,
RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT IT.

I'VE GOT OUR HUMAN INTEREST
STORY... OVER OUR HEADS.

WE'LL DO A LIVE REMOTE
FROM THE STORE.

I DON'T KNOW, BLAIR, I'VE
NEVER BEEN ON TV BEFORE.

OH, I'LL WORK WITH HER...
I WAS ON MERV ONCE.

PLUGGING YOUR LATEST BOOK?

WELL YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY
SEE ME, I SAT IN THE AUDIENCE.

I WAS THE ONE LAUGHING.

I HAVE IT ON TAPE.

WELL I DO HAVE A
NICE FLORAL BLOUSE.

IT'D BE GREAT FOR BUSINESS.

TIME OUT HERE... BLAIR...

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU
LEARNED IN TV JOURNALISM CLASS?

THE WEATHERMAN ALWAYS
WEARS A FUNNY JACKET?

THE NEWS HAS TO BE IMPARTIAL.

YOU'RE PART OWNER OF THIS BUSINESS...
IT'D BE LIKE DOING A COMMERCIAL.

TELL HER, MRS. G.

I'M NOT GONNA BE ON TV?

THAT'S IT... THAT'S FINE.

YOU DO WHATEVER YOU
WANT... WE'LL GET OUR "A."

WE'LL SELL OUT.

I DON'T CARE.

AND THE CAMERA COMES IN,

SEES THE STORE, SEES
NATALIE, FEELS THE EXCITEMENT.

CAMERA PANS LEFT
TO... WHERE IS GEORGE?

ANDY, DIDN'T YOU TELL
HIM ABOUT THE REHEARSAL?

SURE, I DID... BUT
YOU KNOW GEORGE.

HE'S A NICE GUY, A GREAT GUY,

I LOVE HIM LIKE A
BROTHER, BUT HE'S...

UNRELIABLE?

A LOSER.

BUT HEY, WE ALL HAVE FAULTS.

ANDY, YOU'RE TAKEN HIS PLACE.

I CAN'T DO THAT...
GEORGE IS MY PAL.

I KNOW HOW MUCH THIS
SHOW MEANS TO HIM.

YOU THINK I NEED MAKE-UP?

YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY KILLS ME?

I'LL BE SITTING BEHIND A DESK.

PEOPLE WON'T BE ABLE
TO SEE THIS OUTFIT.

I'M SURE NO ONE WILL MIND
IF YOU STAND ON YOUR CHAIR.

WELL, HERE THEY ARE.

MEANINGLESS STORIES WITH
ABSOLUTELY NO SOCIAL VALUE.

GOOD. VERY GOOD.

NOW, WHY DON'T YOU RUN DOWN
THE ORDER OF THE SHOW FOR ME.

ALL RIGHT, FIRST WE HAVE THE

INTRODUCTION... "LIVE
FROM LANGLEY COLLEGE."

THEN I GIVE THEM MY AMUSED LOOK.

RIGHT.

THEN WE GO INTO YOUR
TOP NEWS STORIES.

THAT'S A CONCERNED LOOK.

THEN YOU DO YOUR INTERVIEW.

THE PLAYFUL LOOK.

THE HUMAN INTEREST STORY.

THE INTERESTED LOOK.

AND WE WIND UP
WITH THE EDITORIAL.

BRINGS US TO YOUR STUPID LOOK.

I DON'T RECALL ANY EDITORIAL.

IT'S ALL THERE.

"FAMILIES TO BE
EVICTED BY COLLEGE

TO MAKE WAY FOR NEW GYM."

YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE THEY'RE
BEING THROWN OUT OF THEIR HOMES.

THAT'S WHAT
"EVICTED" MEANS, BLAIR.

I KNOW THAT.

I ALSO HAPPEN TO KNOW
THEY'LL BE FOUND NEW HOUSING.

MY FATHER'S COMPANY
RELOCATES PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.

AND WHAT IF THEY DON'T WANT TO
GO... DON'T THEY HAVE ANY RIGHTS?

THEN TAKE UP A PETITION,
JO, OR WRITE TO THE BOARD,

BUT DON'T ASK ME TO PUT A
STORY WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG.

IT'S NOT OUR SHOW.

BLAIR, THE EDITORIAL STANDS.

I'M NOT GONNA
READ IT. I'LL QUIT.

THEN YOU'LL FAIL. SOME
THINGS ARE WORTH FAILING FOR.

IS THIS ONE OF THEM? NO.

THEN WRITE ME SOMETHING NEW.

SOMETHING WITH BITE,

SOMETHING WITH MEN AND
WOMEN STRUGGLING FOR SURVIVAL...

AND PUT THEM IN BATHING SUITS.

I TAKE IT BACK.

IF I HAVE TO FAIL, I'LL FAIL,
BUT I'M NOT DOING THIS.

SHE'LL COME BACK.

IF SHE DOESN'T,
CAN I HAVE HER JOB?

ANDY YOU ALREADY HAVE
A JOB AS MY ASSISTANT.

NO OFFENSE, BUT IF YOU
WANT TO GET SOMEWHERE,

YOU HAVE TO CLIMB
OVER A FEW BACKS.

GEORGE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I HAD TO CHANGE INTO MY PASTELS.

I WAS ALL OVER TOWN... I DON'T HAVE
A LOT OF TURQUOISE IN MY WARDROBE.

IT'S VERY NICE, BUT WHY?

TOOTIE WANTED
THE MIAMI VICE LOOK.

YOU KNOW, IT'S VERY COLD
OUT THERE WITHOUT SOCKS.

GEORGE, BABY, CAN WE TALK?

GEORGE, WHEN YOU WEREN'T
HERE, I GAVE YOUR JOB TO...

LET ME GUESS... ANDY.

ANDY, BABY, LET'S TALK.

PEOPLE, WE HAVE A SCHEDULE.

MRS. GARRETT.

WELCOME TO OUR SHOP.

NOT YET, MRS. GARRETT.

OH!

OK, WHERE DO YOU
WANT THIS SET UP?

RIGHT HERE WILL BE OK.

ARE YOU THE REPORTER I
GOT EVERYTHING MAPPED OUT.

WE'LL TAKE IT FROM THE
TOP... JUST THE BARE BONES.

WHO ARE YOU?

I'M TOOTIE.

CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS... I
THINK WE HAVE A SHOW TO DO HERE.

ALL RIGHT PLACES, EVERYONE.

AND... ACTION!

THAT'S YOU.

OH.

THIS IS CAM QUINN
AT... AND MRS. GARRET.

HELLO, AND WELCOME
TO OUR... AAH!

AND... CUSTOMERS.

ON YOUR LEFT.

I GOTTA HIT MY MARK.

WE DON'T HAVE ANY MARKS, EXCEPT
FOR THE ONE THAT I'M GONNA GIVE YOU.

AND NATALIE'S DEMONSTRATION.

WATCH THIS.

HERE, PUPPY!

COME ON, PUPPY.

COME ON, PUPPY.

COME ON, PUPPY!

GOOD BOY.

ALL RIGHT, AND SMILES, EVERYONE.

IT'S BEEN GREAT,
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

AND NOW GET READY TO WAVE.

GOOD-BYE FROM OVER OUR HEADS.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WELL... I KNOW.

IT SINGS.

I KNEW YOU'D BE BACK.

WELL, I THOUGHT IT OVER AND I
DECIDED THAT I COULDN'T LET YOU

GO ON THE AIR WITH
THESE KIND OF STORIES.

SO I THINK I'VE COME
UP WITH A SOLUTION.

WE'RE GOING ON TOGETHER.

FIVE SECONDS TO THE TEASE AND...

5, 4, 3, 2...

THIS IS BLAIR WARNER, IN
THE CHANNEL 44 NEWS ROOM.

COMING UP NEXT, STUDENT
COUNCIL PLANS SKI PARTY.

WILL IT HAPPEN, WILL IT NOT?

JOIN US FOR THE NEWS
AT 6:00, AND FIND OUT.

AND, YOU'RE OUT...
TWO MINUTES TO AIR.

GET UP HERE.

YOU HAD YOUR FOOT ON MY BACK.

I GOT ONE... HOLD OUT YOUR ARM.

IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

SURE IT IS... GO RIGHT
THROUGH THE BONE.

PROFESSOR JORDAN IS GOING TO
SEE THIS AND WE ARE GOING TO FAIL.

DON'T YOU CARE?

I CARE ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS.

ON OF THEM IS INTEGRITY.

I CARE ABOUT INTEGRITY.

YOU CARE ABOUT SPREADING GOSSIP.

THAT AND INTEGRITY.

OK. TRY IT NOW.

JUST GIVE IT A GOOD HARD YANK.

ONE, TWO, THREE.

TOLD YA.

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

I REALIZE THAT NOW.

I'LL DO YOUR STORIES.

JUST UNLOCK THE HANDCUFFS.

NOPE, CAN'T DO IT.

ONE MINUTE.

YOU CAN TRUST ME, JO.

I'VE CHANGED...
I'M A NEW PERSON.

I LOVE INTEGRITY.

HERE COMES JORDAN.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

THE FUNNIEST THING HAPPENED.

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS.

THERE'S SOMEONE
CHAINED TO MY WRIST.

POLNIACZEK, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING DOWN THERE?

I'M CHAINED TO OUR WRISTS.

WHAT'D I TELL YOU?

WHY?

IT'S A PROTEST, SIR.

SEE, I'M PROTESTING.

I THOUGHT WE COVERED
THIS ON THE PHONE.

WELL, IT'S JUST THAT BLAIR'S HAS
CUT EVERY IMPORTANT NEWS STORY.

AND I JUST WANTED...

POLNIACZEK YOU GO ON THE
AIR IN LESS THAN A MINUTE.

I SUGGEST YOU TAKE
THOSE THINGS OFF.

NO I CAN'T DO IT.

SORRY, SIR.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW I HAD
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.

I'M COMPLETELY INNOCENT AND I'M
SURE MY GRADE WILL REFLECT THAT.

THIS IS YOUR MID-TERM.

YOU'RE A TEAM.

YOU STAND OR FALL TOGETHER.

SHE GETS A "D", YOU GET A "D".

ISN'T THAT JUST A
TEENSY BIT UNFAIR?

COLLEGE IS HELL.

15 SECONDS.

TAKE THEM OFF, JO.

I DON'T WANT TO
FAIL... I'LL DO ANYTHING.

10 SECONDS.

WILL YOU READ MY EDITORIAL? YES.

YOU PROMISE. YES.

YOU SWEAR. YES.

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

IN 5, 4, 3, 2...

FROM THE CAMPUS TO TOWN TO ALL
OF LANGLEY COLLEGE, GOOD EVENING.

TOP STORY TONIGHT,

STUDENT COUNCIL
PRESIDENT, JIM CRAYTON, TODAY

ANNOUNCED PLANS FOR
A COED SKI TRIP TO VALE.

SOURCES AT THE SCENE
REPORTED THAT TENSIONS RAN HIGH

AS RUMORS PLACED THE SKI TRIP

AT ASPEN, PARK CITY,
UTAH, AND VERMONT.

WHEN QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS

CRAYTON DEFENDED HIS
HARDLINE STANCE BY SAYING,

"I CAN'T BE EVERYTHING
TO EVERYBODY."

I'VE JUST BEEN HANDED THIS.

BUT IT MAKES
ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE.

PANIC BROKE OUT TODAY
IN CARLISLE HALL WHEN...

NOTHING HAPPENED.

ACROSS TOWN... NOTHING
MUCH WAS GOING ON.

TURNING TO ATHLETICS, THE
LIONS TOOK THE WARRIORS 21-7,

WITH NICKY GRANT INTERCEPTING
A TOSS BY BRIAN SLAVIN

TO SCORE THE WINNING TOUCH...

MOVING ON TO OUR LOCAL FILES,
WE HAVE A SPECIAL NEWS REPORT

ABOUT ONE OF PEEKSKILL'S
NEWEST HOT SPOTS.

LANGLEY NEWS REPORTER CAM QUINN
IS STANDING BY WITH OUR LIVE REMOTE.

COME IN, CAM.

I'M HERE AT PEEKSKILL'S NEWEST
SENSATION, OVER OUR HEADS.

IT'S COLORFUL, IT'S ALIVE.

THERE'S AN AIR OF
EXCITEMENT ABOUT THIS PLACE.

WITH ME ARE SOME OF THE STAFF.

HI.

TOOTIE RAMSEY.

NATALIE GREEN.

ANDY MUFFET.

I FLY JETS.

AND, OF COURSE, THE WOMAN
WHO PUT THE "E" IN EDNA'S EDIBLES,

PEEKSKILL'S OWN EDNA GARRETT.

HELLO, AND WELCOME TO OUR SHIP.

SHOP.

SHOP.

IT'S SO NICE TO...

IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE YOU HERE.

OH, WELL THANK YOU, TOOTIE.

THAT'S YOUR LINE.

IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE YOU HERE.

THIS IS QUITE AN EMPORIUM
YOU HAVE HERE, EDNA.

THANK YOU.

WHAT'S YOUR BESTSELLER?

OH, WELL, THAT'S
PRETTY HARD TO SAY.

WELL... NATALIE?

TOOTIE.

OH.

WHATEVER.

WELL, WE HAVE A WIDE
VARIETY OF UNUSUAL GIFTS,

LIKE THIS CUTE LITTLE PUPPY.

EXCUSE ME, WHERE
CAN I PAY FOR THESE?

RIGHT HERE.

YOU KNOW, I'M HAPPY WHEN
THERE'S A BUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

'CAUSE IT GIVES ME
AN EXCUSE TO STOP BY.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE?

IT'S A DUCK.

WOMEN LOVE THEM.

PUT HIM ON MY ACCOUNT.

CERTAINLY.

COME BACK SOON.

YOU BET.

SO, OVER OUR HEADS IS
MORE THAN JUST A STORE.

IT'S A WAY OF LIFE.

DROP BY SOON AND
EXPERIENCE IT YOURSELF.

UNTIL THEN... GOOD-BYE
FROM OVER OUR HEADS.

THIS IS CAM QUINN SAYING,
"BACK TO YOU, BLAIR."

THANK YOU, CAM, FOR
THAT FASCINATING SEGMENT.

I'M BACK WITH MY GOOD
FRIEND, JO POLNIACZEK.

HI.

JOINING US IN THE STUDIO
TODAY IS ONE OF LANGLEY'S FINEST,

OUR OWN HEAD
CHEERLEADER, PENNY CAMINITI.

PENNY, CHEERLEADING
IS AN INTRINSIC PART

OF COLLEGE TRADITION,
DATING BACK TO...

OH, I DON'T KNOW WHEN,

BUT TO MANY OF US,
CHEERLEADING REMAINS WELL...

SOMETHING THAT OTHER PEOPLE DO.

LET'S TALK CHEERS.

WELL...

I MEAN, THERE'S SO
MANY DIFFERENT VERSES.

TAKE THE MOST POPULAR
CHEER WOULD BE...

GO, LANGLEY, GO.

RIGHT, AND HOW DOES THAT GO?

GO, LANGLEY, GO,
LANGLEY, GO, LANGLEY, GO.

GO, LANGLEY, GO,
LANGLEY, GO, GO, GO.

I TAKE IT REPETITION IS THE KEY.

THE PERSON IN THE STANDS
WILL GET THE SIMPLE MESSAGE

THAT LANGLEY SHOULD... GO.

RIGHT.

I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YA, PENNY.

AND IT'S THE SAME
QUESTION I HAVE.

PENNY, EXACTLY HOW TALL ARE YOU?

5'6".

5'6".

IS THAT STANDARD HEIGHT
FOR CHEERLEADERS?

NO, YOU CAN BE ANY HEIGHT.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.

EXCUSE ME, BUT AREN'T
YOU DATING JIM CREIGHTON,

THE STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT?

YES, WE'RE SEEING EACH OTHER.

WHY HASN'T THE STUDENT
COUNCIL DONE ANYTHING

ABOUT THE FAMILIES
WHO ARE BEING EVICTED

JUST SO WE CAN HAVE A NEW GYM?

I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

THAT'S OK, PENNY.

ABOUT THE TRYOUTS...

DON'T YOU THINK THAT THE
STUDENTS SHOULD HAVE A SAY IN THIS?

AFTER ALL, IT IS THEIR GYM.

WHICH IS WHERE YOU
HOLD THE TRYOUTS.

WHEN IS THAT?

THEY'RE TEARING APARTMENTS
DOWN IN TWO WEEKS...

WOULD YOU ENCOURAGE EVERYONE
DON'T YOU THINK THEY SHOULD

TO TRY OUT FOR CHEERLEADING
SQUAD. TRY TO RELOCATE THESE PEOPLE?

YES?

THANK YOU, PENNY.
THANK YOU, PENNY.

THIS IS A GOOD TIME
FOR OUR EDITORIAL.

SEE, IT POSES THE QUESTION

WHAT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY
TO THE COMMUNITY?

AND A VERY GOOD
QUESTION IT IS AT THAT, JO.

AND I CAN'T THINK OF ANYONE
MORE QUALIFIED TO ANSWER THAT

THAN THE PEOPLE
AT OVER OUR HEADS.

THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S
WHERE WE'RE GOING.

COME IN, CAM.

COME IN, CAM.

ARE YOU THERE?

OH, CAM.

HELLO.

HI, BLAIR.

NO, HE LEFT.

WE ARE?

WE'RE BACK ON.

IT'S LIKE I'VE BEEN BORN
IN FRONT OF A CAMERA.

YOU WERE VERY GOOD.

EXCUSE ME.

WE'RE ON?

SO, TOOTIE, WHAT'RE WE GONNA
TELL THE PEOPLE THIS TIME?

WELL, GEORGE WE
COULD SHOW THEM...

THE, UH... UH... WE COULD, UM...

WELL, THERE'S LOTS OF...

YOU KNOW, A LOT
OF PEOPLE ASK ME,

"EDNA, WHAT MAKES YOUR
COOKIES SO DARN GOOD?"

AND I USUALLY SAY, "I'M
NOT GOING TO TELL YA!"

BUT TODAY, I'M
GOING TO TELL ALL.

IN FACT, I'M GOING TO SHOW ALL.

COME ON, ANDY.

FOLLOW ME.

AND YOU CAN COME, TOO.

TERRIFIC IDEA.

LET'S FOLLOW HER
INTO THE KITCHEN.

THE KITCHEN IS WHERE MRS. GARRET

MAKES MOST OF HER COOKIES,
AM I RIGHT ABOUT, TOOTIE?

RIGHT YOU ARE.

AND THERE SHE GOES.

WHAT'S WRONG?

THE CORD WON'T REACH.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I'M RUNNING ON A.C.
THE CORD WON'T REACH!

OH, WELL, THEN WE'LL JUST
HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT.

YES, RIGHT?

GOOD IDEA!

YES, SHE'S PULLED HER SECRET
DOUGH MIX OUT OF THE FRIDGE.

YES, SHE'S ROLLING
THEM INTO LITTLE BALLS.

AND LOOK AT HER ROLL.

AND IN RECORD TIME, TOO.

WHAT'S THAT SHE'S DOING NOW?

WELL, NATALIE, GEORGE, SHE'S
TAKING THE COOKIE SHEET OUT

OF THE DRAWER AND
SHE'S GREASING IT UP.

AND LOOK AT HER GREASE.

AND HERE COMES THE MOMENT
WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!

SHE'S PUTTING LITTLE GOBS OF
COOKIE GUNK ON THE BAKING SHEET.

THE OVEN IS PREHEATED.

ANDY TOUCHES IT
TO MAKE SURE IT'S...

DON'T DO IT! YES, IT'S HOT.

AND THERE THEY GO INTO THE OVEN.

THE OVEN DOOR IS CLOSED AND
IT'S ALL OVER BUT THE BAKING.

GOOD-BYE!

BACK TO YOU, BLAIR.

THANK YOU, TOOTIE.

NOW IT'S TIME FOR OUR EDITORIAL.

OH, IT APPEARS WE
HAVE RUN OUT OF TIME.

WHAT A SURPRISE.

THAT WRAPS UP OUR
NEWS FOR TODAY.

SO FROM ALL OF US AT WLGN,

THIS IS BLAIR WARNER SAYING GOOD
NIGHT, HAVE A GOOD TOMORROW,

DRIVE SAFE, AND DON'T SMOKE.

WHERE'S THE MUSIC?

PLAY THE MUSIC.

DON'T TELL ME TO STRETCH.

YOU HAVE TWO MORE MINUTES!

WE NOW RETURN TO OVER OUR HEADS
FOR LATE BREAKING DEVELOPMENTS.

GOOD-BYE!

COME ON, BLAIR, THEY CAN'T
SAY GOODBYE FOR TWO MINUTES.

WOULD YOU JUST
READ THE EDITORIAL?

NO!

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

I DON'T AGREE WITH IT
AND I WON'T BE PUSHED.

YOU'RE RATHER JUST SIT
HERE AND LOOK LIKE A FOOL?

THAT'S RIGHT.

BLAIR, WE CAN'T HOLD
THERE ANY LONGER.

THEY'RE JUST SAYING GOODBYE.

WE GOTTA CUT BACK.

IN 5, 4, 3, 2...

AND NOW FOR A
CHANNEL 44 EDITORIAL.

"OUR SCHOOL OWNS AN
OLD APARTMENT BUILDING

"AND WE PLAN TO TEAR IT DOWN
BECAUSE WE NEED A NEW GYM.

"IT WOULD SEEM THE PERFECT SOLUTION
EXCEPT FOR ONE MINOR PROBLEM...

"PEOPLE... 43 PEOPLE.

"THEY LIVE IN THAT BUILDING

"AT LEAST THEY DO UNTIL NEXT MONDAY
WHEN THEY'RE GOING TO BE EVICTED.

"WE'RE JUST COLLEGE
KIDS HERE FOR A FEW YEARS.

"THE TOWN IS WHERE WE GO TO
THE MOVIES OR DO SOME SHOPPING.

"BUT MAYBE WE OWE SOMETHING TO THE
PEOPLE WHO AREN'T JUST PASSING THROUGH...

"LIKE A HOME.

"IT MEANS WE WON'T GET A
WOMEN'S GYMNASTIC TEAM,

"AND WE'LL HAVE TO PLAY VOLLEYBALL
OUTDOORS FOR ANOTHER YEAR.

"THE CHOICE IS YOURS.

"EITHER WAY, WE THOUGHT
YOU SHOULD KNOW."

AT LEAST THAT'S THIS
REPORTER'S OPINION.

FROM LANGLEY NEWS,
THIS IS BLAIR WARNER

AND JO POLNIACZEK.

GOOD EVENING.

THAT'S A WRAP!

THANKS. YOU READ IT WELL.

THAT'S MY JOB.

HI, GUYS.

BLAIR, JO, CHECK
OUT THE MONITOR.

ARE YOU THERE?

YEAH WE'RE HERE.

WE'D LIKE TO KNOW WHEN
YOU'RE COMING HOME.

SOON I GUESS.

GOOD.

BECAUSE WE WANT TO HURT YOU.

COME ON.

IT WASN'T THAT BAD.

COME HOME SOON.

♪♪