The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 6, Episode 10 - Talk, Talk, Talk - full transcript
The girls fill in as disk jockeys at the Langley College radio station.
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
AND IN FIVE MINUTES, VICTOR KING'S
UP NEXT WITH THE MIDNIGHT TO SIX,
RIGHT HERE ON WLG-FM,
THE VOICE OF LANGLEY COLLEGE.
COME ON, JO, IT'S A
BIG NIGHT FOR MY TEAM.
PLEASE PLAY EYE OF THE TIGER.
NATALIE, WE DON'T TAKE REQUESTS.
COME ON. FOR THE HURRICANES?
OH, HI, PROFESSOR DUGAN.
I'VE BEEN WAITING
TO TALK TO YOU.
YOU DIDN'T COMPLETE
THESE STATION LOG REPORTS.
OH, YEAH, SEE, I
WAS GOING TO, BUT...
I KNOW WE'RE JUST
A STUDENT STATION,
BUT WE'RE STILL UNDER FCC RULES.
I KNOW.
YOU ALSO KNOW YOU'RE
LATE WITH TWO ASSIGNMENTS
AND YOU MISSED
LAST TUESDAY'S TEST.
WELL, SEE, THE PROBLEM WAS I HAD AN
ENGLISH PAPER AND A PSYCH PROJECT DUE.
OH, I SEE, IN OTHER WORDS, YOU HAD
TIME FOR EVERYONE ELSE'S CLASS BUT MINE.
I REALIZE MOST PEOPLE THINK
RADIO MANAGEMENT IS A MICKEY.
MICKEY?
MOUSE.
BUT I ASSURE YOU I
TAKE IT VERY SERIOUSLY.
YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THERE ARE
TWO EMPTY DESKS IN OUR CLASSROOM.
AND THOSE PEOPLE HAD BETTER
EXCUSES THAN YOU DO, JO.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
SHAPE UP OR YOU'RE
GONNA FAIL THIS COURSE.
UGH, WHAT WAS THAT YOU
WANTED, EYE OF THE TIGER OR...?
DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID?
JO, IF YOU FAIL THIS COURSE,
YOUR SCHOLARSHIP IS GONE.
I'M NOT GONNA FAIL.
YOU JUST WORRY
ABOUT THE HURRICANES
AND LEAVE RADIO TO ME.
THIS IS YOUR FRIEND
STACEY MARTIN SAYING,
HAVE A GOOD ONE.
JO, I DON'T THINK YOUR
PROFESSOR WAS KIDDING AROUND.
HE'S ALWAYS SAYING THAT.
YEAH, BUT TWO EMPTY
SEATS. I DON'T KNOW.
HEY, YOU GUYS SEEN VICTOR?
WE'RE ON IN FIVE MINUTES.
MR. RELIABLE WILL BE
HERE. HE ALWAYS IS.
OH, BY THE WAY, THE
LEFT TURNTABLE'S BLOWN.
HEY, LOOK, CAN YOU
GIVE NATALIE A LIFT?
SHE'S LATE FOR
ALL-NIGHT BOWLING.
JO, ARE YOU SURE?
I'M FINE, REALLY.
YOUR TEAM'S WAITING.
OK.
HAVE YOU KIDS EVER
CONSIDERED TAKING UP BOWLING?
PROBABLY NOT.
HELLO, JO.
HEY, VICTOR, HURRY UP.
YOU'RE ON IN A MINUTE.
VICTOR... YOU'RE DRUNK?
OH, NO.
THAT'S SO UNLIKE ME.
BUT YOU DON'T DRINK.
THAT'S WHAT I TOLD THEM,
BUT THEY SAID IT WAS PART
OF MY FRATERNITY INITIATION.
IT'S A SECRET RITUAL.
WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT?
LOOK, I'LL HAVE TO
PUT ON SOME RECORDS.
GIVE ME YOUR KEY TO
THE RECORD CABINET.
IT'S IN ONE OF MY POCKETS.
GO FISH.
I DON'T WANT TO FISH.
AW.
COME ON, VICTOR,
GIVE ME THE KEY.
KEYS.
VICTOR, THESE ARE CAR KEYS.
YOU DIDN'T DRIVE
OVER HERE, DID YOU?
COURSE NOT. I WAS
DROPPED OFF... IN A SACK.
CAN I HAVE THE KEY, VICTOR?
NO KEY.
IT MUST HAVE FALLEN OUT WHEN
THEY WERE TOSSING ME IN THE AIR.
COME HERE, COME
HERE, SIT DOWN HERE.
LOOK, IF I BLOW THIS TONIGHT,
I AM GONNA BE OUT OF SCHOOL.
PLEASE TALK TO ME!
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
SOMEBODY BE HOME.
[LINE RINGING]
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
HI, THIS IS EDNA'S EDIBLES.
IF YOU'D LIKE TO LEAVE
A MESSAGE FOR EDNA...
OR NATALIE... OR
TOOTIE... OR JO... OR BLAIR...
WAIT FOR THE BEEP,
THEN TALK. BYE.
[BEEP]
LOOK, GUYS, THIS IS ME.
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
LOOK, I'M AT THE STATION
AND VICTOR IS DRUNK.
I NEED YOU TO COME DOWN HERE.
AND WOULD YOU PLEASE
BRING SOME RECORDS?
JUST BRING A LOT OF
RECORDS, ALL RIGHT?
OH, OH!
AND THAT WAS MAD DOG WITH
CAN'T WAIT ONE MORE TIME.
AND HEY, SINCE IT'S
SUCH A GREAT SONG,
LET'S LISTEN TO IT AGAIN.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
WLG, ONE MINUTE, PLEASE.
WLG, ONE MINUTE, PLEASE.
GOOD MORNING, WLG.
IT'S A SPECIAL
TRIBUTE TO MAD DOG.
YOU WANNA MAKE SOMETHING OF IT?
OH, IT'S SKIPPING?
OH, THANKS. HOLD ON.
[RECORD SKIPPING]
AND NOW, AS A SPECIAL TREAT
TO ALL YOU MAD DOG LOVERS,
WLG IS PROUD TO BRING
YOU THE OTHER SIDE.
JO, I'M HERE.
OH, MRS. G., YOU'RE A LIFESAVER.
WELL, I HOPE IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I WAS AT DEAN PARKER'S PARTY.
I JUST CALLED IN TO
CHECK THE MESSAGES,
AND I BORROWED ONE OF THEIRS.
I REALLY OWE YOU FOR THIS ONE.
COMMENCEMENT IS NOT
AN END, BUT A BEGINNING...
COMMENCEMENT HIGHLIGHTS?
THE WORD DERIVES FROM THE
FRENCH WORD COMENCITIARE,
WHICH MEANS TO COMMENCE.
IT WAS THAT OR POLKA
ON DOWN THE ROAD.
WHY ISN'T VICTOR MOVING?
OH, HE WAS DRUNK AND PASSED OUT.
THAT'S SO UNLIKE HIM.
I KNOW.
SO WHO'S DOING...
NO ONE. THAT'S WHY
I NEED THE RECORDS.
NOT JUST A BEGINNING,
BUT A NEW START.
LOOK, I'M GONNA SEE
IF I CAN FIND A CROWBAR
TO OPEN THE CABINET.
JUST WATCH THE VU METERS,
KEEP THE NEEDLES IN RED,
AND MAKE SURE YOU GET
TRANSMITTER READINGS.
FINE. IS THIS THE RECORD PLAYER?
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
IT'S CULTURAL PROGRAMMING.
HERE.
OH, TOOTIE, YOU BROUGHT
RECORDS, THANK YOU.
AS SOON AS I GOT YOUR
MESSAGE, I RUSHED RIGHT OVER.
NATALIE, WHY AREN'T YOU BOWLING?
I WAS. THIS BETTER
BE AN EMERGENCY.
THESE SHOES ARE
RENTED BY THE HOUR.
THE POLICE,
SPRINGSTEEN, BILLY IDOL.
THIS IS GREAT!
WELL, WAIT A MINUTE, ALL THE
A.M. STATIONS PLAY THE HITS.
IT'S SO COMMERCIAL.
THIS IS COLLEGE RADIO.
DO THE UNEXPECTED.
LIKE THIS?
WE COULD CALL IT A BEGINNING.
WE COULD CALL IT
STARTING OUT, BUT WE DON'T.
PLAY THE HITS.
WE CALL IT...
OH, HI, BLAIR.
OH. HI.
YOU OK?
ME? FINE.
IS JO HERE?
OH, HI, JO.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE
JUST LIKE A FAMILY.
WHEN ONE MEMBER IS IN TROUBLE,
EVERYONE ELSE RALLIES AROUND.
COULD YOU ALL LEAVE NOW?
JO, CAN I SPEAK TO YOU ALONE?
BLAIR, I'M A LITTLE
BUSY RIGHT NOW.
OH, THANKS.
BRAD AND I JUST HAD
THIS HORRENDOUS FIGHT.
I THOUGHT MAYBE SINCE YOU
KNOW HIM AND YOU KNOW ME...
I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU, BUT
I'M REALLY UP AGAINST IT.
LOOK, GUYS, I GOTTA STAY
IN HERE AND RUN THE BOARD.
I NEED ONE OF YOU TO GO IN
THERE AND DO WHAT VICTOR DOES.
SHOULDN'T BE TOO TOUGH.
YOU JUST HAVE TO
INTRODUCE THE RECORDS,
GIVE THE TIME, THE
WEATHER, READ A LITTLE NEWS.
I'M YOUR JOCK. LET'S ROCK.
THERE ARE OTHER
PEOPLE HERE, NATALIE.
WELL, WHY DON'T EACH
OF YOU READ SOMETHING,
AND THEN I'LL
CHOOSE THE BEST ONE.
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
WE'VE COME DOWN
HERE TO HELP YOU,
AND YOU WANT US TO AUDITION?
YEAH.
WELL, IF YOU'RE AFRAID
OF COMPETITION...
WHY DON'T YOU GO FIRST, MRS. G.
ME? OH, I COULDN'T.
I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE.
I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
WHERE'S THE MIKE?
GREAT. RIGHT IN HERE.
ALL RIGHT, JUST READ THIS
AND PRETEND TO USE THE MIKE.
ALL RIGHT. [CLEARS THROAT]
"TORRENTIAL RAINS
CAUSED MORE FLOODING
"IN MISSOURI LAST NIGHT
AS THE STRIFE-TORN AREA..."
YOU KNOW, WE REALLY SHOULD
DO MORE FOR THOSE POOR PEOPLE.
THAT'S SO GREAT.
THE GOVERNMENT, THEY
SHOULD DO SOMETHING.
YES, THAT'S GREAT.
WHY DON'T YOU WAIT IN
THERE, MRS. GARRETT?
BLAIR.
IF I STAY, CAN WE TALK LATER?
SURE, SURE.
ALL RIGHT.
"IT'S HAPPY, HAPPY FIESTA
TIME AT LANGLEY COLLEGE
"NEXT THURSDAY
NIGHT AT RIDLEY HALL.
"BRING YOUR MARACAS.
OLE."
THAT'LL REALLY PACK 'EM IN.
NAT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
ALL RIGHT, THAT WAS
MR. S, THE MEAN STEEN,
AND I'M KEEN NAT GREEN,
ROCKIN' DOWN THE CLOCK
AND TALKIN' YOU
'ROUND THE BLOCK.
YOUR TURN.
ALL RIGHT, TOOTIE, LET ME HEAR
YOU INTRODUCE THIS RECORD.
IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE.
I JUST NEED A MOMENT TO PREPARE.
NOW, WHAT IS MY MOTIVATION?
YOUR WHAT?
WELL, I HAVE TO GET INSIDE
THIS ANNOUNCER'S HEAD.
I MEAN, WHAT DOES SHE
THINK, HOW DOES SHE ACT,
HOW DOES SHE RELATE TO YOU?
SHE DOESN'T. I FIRED HER.
GET OUT OF THERE.
I MADE UP MY MIND.
WELL, SO HAVE I.
YOU KNOW, FOR SOMEONE
WHO ASKED FOR HELP,
YOU'RE BEING AWFULLY PICKY!
LOOK, I WAS LEFT IN CHARGE HERE.
I HAVE CERTAIN
STANDARDS TO MAINTAIN.
OH, JO, NONE OF US
ARE PROFESSIONALS.
I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
I GUESS I'M JUST
A LITTLE ON EDGE.
WHO WOULDN'T BE? NAT.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT
COULD HAPPEN TO THIS GIRL?
NO, BECAUSE IT'S
MY BUSINESS, ISN'T IT?
SHE IS THIS CLOSE TO
FLUNKING HER RADIO COURSE.
SHE MESSES UP AGAIN, SHE'S
WORKING IN A PET STORE IN THE BRONX.
THANKS, NATALIE.
OH, JO, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?
WELL, DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL GET THROUGH
THIS THING TOGETHER.
OF COURSE, WHAT HAVE WE
GOT TO FILL, A COUPLE HOURS?
FIVE.
WELL, THERE'S FIVE OF US.
AND LOTS OF RECORDS.
AM I ON?
GO HOME, VICTOR.
YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD
YOUR MOTHER ISN'T HERE
TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS.
NO, I THINK I'M OK, REALLY.
WHAT AM I PLAYING?
OH, VICTOR!
YOU NEED THIS FOR ANYTHING?
OH, IT'S HOPELESS.
IT CAN'T BE FIXED.
WHY DON'T I MAKE SOME COFFEE?
I CAN'T PLAY RECORDS.
I'M GONNA BE GRADED
ON FIVE HOURS OF SILENCE!
OK. WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO?
UH... HERE, NATALIE.
YOU READ THE NEWS.
OKAY, "A SMALL FIRE IN THE
SOFT PUFF TISSUE WAREHOUSE"?
WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT?
NOTHING!
JO, THIS IS 10 SECONDS TOPS!
STRETCH IT. GO!
THIS IS SO SHOW BIZ!
YOU'RE ON.
OKAY, THIS IS NATALIE
GREEN AT WLG-FM
WITH THE LATE-BREAKING NEWS.
AT THE TOP OF THE NEWS,
MASSIVE FIRE BREAKS
OUT IN LOCAL WAREHOUSE,
THREATENING LIVES AND DESTROYING
THOUSANDS OF BOXES OF TISSUE.
WLG NEWS REPORTER CYNTHIA
LOMPOC IS ON THE SCENE.
CYNTHIA?
YES, NATALIE, IT'S
A FIRE, ALL RIGHT.
A BIG FIRE.
LOTS OF BURNING.
I'M STANDING HERE
WITH FIRE CHIEF WINSTON.
CHIEF, WHAT DOES
IT LOOK LIKE TO YOU?
LOOKS LIKE A BIG FIRE, CYNTHIA.
REALLY... BIG.
OH, THANK YOU, CHIEF WINSTON.
AND NOW BACK TO YOU, NATALIE.
UH, THANK YOU, CYNTHIA.
HERE, BLAIR, YOU DO THE SPORTS.
SPORTS?
ME DO THE SPORTS?
DO IT FOR THE GIPPER.
WHAT'S A GIPPER?
JUST READ THE SCORES.
IF I DO THIS, CAN WE TALK LATER?
BLAIR, I CAN'T THINK
ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.
LOOK, I'M HERE FOR YOU, BLAIR.
THANKS, TOOTIE, BUT
IT'S KIND OF COMPLICATED.
YOU SEE, IT'S ABOUT A GUY AND...
HERE, YOU DO THE MOVIE REVIEW.
I DON'T WANNA DO
THE MOVIE REVIEW!
OH, MRS. G., YOU COULD
DO THE CALL-IN ADVICE SHOW.
OKAY.
I WANNA DO THE
CALL-IN ADVICE SHOW!
FINE. BUT DON'T WHINE!
YOU DO THE ADVICE
AND I'LL DO THE MOVIE REVIEW.
IT PAYS TO WHINE.
WHAT THEY ARE NOW CALLING
THE LARGEST FIRE
IN PEEKSKILL HISTORY.
LET'S CHECK WORLD
REACTION TO THE CRISIS.
STANDING BY IN
ROME, GINA VESPUCCI.
BUONA SERA, NATALIE.
GRANDE FIRA.
MULTO GRANDE.
TOOTIE, GET IN
THERE AND REMEMBER,
KEEP YOUR ADVICE
MIDDLE-OF-THE-ROAD.
YOU GOT IT.
MULTO, MULTO, MULTO GRANDE!
AND THAT'S ALL FOR THE NEWS.
AND NOW IT'S TIME
TO TALK TO TOOTIE.
HEY, I GOT A CORRESPONDENT
STANDING BY IN BOMBAY!
THIS IS THE SHOW
WHERE YOU CALL IN
AND I'LL SOLVE ALL
YOUR PROBLEMS.
[RING]
I'M TAKING MY FIRST CALL.
HELLO. YOU'RE ON WITH TOOTIE.
TOOTIE, I HAVE A PROBLEM.
MY BOYFRIEND IS
SEEING SOMEONE ELSE.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
DUMP HIM.
BUT I LOVE HIM.
YOU'LL GET OVER IT.
CAN'T WE WORK IT OUT IF WE
LEARN TO TALK TO EACH OTHER?
NO WAY, HONEY, HE'S A
CHEAT. YOU BETTER LOSE HIM!
HA! HA! HA!
YES, NOW...
FILLING IN FOR THE
VACATIONING TOOTIE
IS OUR OWN EDNA GARRETT.
HI, THERE. THIS IS EDNA.
CAN I HELP YOU?
I WANT TO TALK TO TOOTIE.
WELL, I'M SORRY, SHE
CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW.
MAYBE I CAN HELP?
YOU CAN TAKE A MESSAGE.
I JUST HEARD HER TELL
MY GIRLFRIEND TO DUMP ME.
WELL, TELL TOOTIE I'M
COMING DOWN THERE
AND STRAIGHTEN
HER OUT PERSONALLY!
YOU'RE WELCOME, I'M SURE.
IT'S JUST SOMETHING I
HAVE A KNACK FOR, I GUESS.
CALL ANYTIME.
EDNA LENDS AN EAR.
TELL ME YOUR TROUBLE
AND NEVER FEAR.
HOW MAY I HELP YOU?
HI. I'M MARILYN.
MY BOYFRIEND WANTS ME TO
GO WITH HIM ON A CAMPING TRIP.
OH, THAT'S GREAT!
CAMPING WITH A FRIEND
CAN MEAN MANY HAPPY MEMORIES.
HE WANTS ME TO SLEEP WITH HIM.
THOUGH MEMORIES CAN BE
UGLY AND HAUNT YOU TO DEATH.
LOOK, I REALLY NEED YOUR ADVICE.
OH, WELL, YES, OF COURSE.
THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
SO SHOULD MY
BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE SEX?
UH, UH, MARILYN,
YOU MUST REALIZE
THIS IS A VERY DIFFICULT
QUESTION FOR ME.
YOU SEE, WHEN I WAS A GIRL,
WE COULDN'T EVEN SAY
"CAMPING" ON THE RADIO.
ALL I CAN SAY IS
THINK OF THE CONSEQUENCES,
CONSIDER YOUR FEELINGS,
AND CARRY A COMPASS.
WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT
TO HEAR IS ONLY A TEST.
BEEEEEEEEEEEP...
I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.
IT'S TOO HARD ON ME.
I LIVE EACH ONE.
I KNOW, MRS.
GARRETT, YOU GO REST.
DON'T WORRY. I'LL DO THE SPORTS.
EEEEEEEEEP.
REMEMBER, THAT WAS ONLY A TEST
OF THE EMERGENCY
BROADCAST SYSTEM.
IN THE EVENT OF AN
ACTUAL EMERGENCY...
BLAIR WARNER WILL
READ THE SPORTS.
THEN CAN WE TALK ABOUT BRAD?
HI THERE, ALL YOU
SPORTS-TYPE PEOPLE.
I'VE GOT A FEW FOOTBALL SCORES
YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN.
BUT KEEP IN MIND THAT THE
ARTS CAN BE EXCITING, TOO.
OKAY.
"THE JETS HAVE LOST
TO THE COWBOYS
IN SUDDEN DEATH."
HOW HORRIBLE!
THE TEAM SEEMS TO HAVE
DIED AND LOST THE GAME.
NATALIE, WILL YOU HELP ME?
THAT GUY ON THE PHONE SAID HE
WAS COMING DOWN HERE TO GET ME!
RELAX, THEY GET CRANK CALLERS
ALL THE TIME AT RADIO STATIONS.
THEY'RE HARMLESS.
OH, NO, NOT THIS ONE.
I'VE BEEN IN THIS BUSINESS
LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW.
TOOTIE, YOU AREN'T
IN THIS BUSINESS.
NAT, WHAT IF HE ATTACKS
ME WHILE I'M ON THE AIR?
WE'LL CUT TO A COMMERCIAL.
WHAT AM I EATING NOW?
MMM, IT'S SOUVLAKI.
I HATE IT.
NATALIE, STOP COMPLAINING.
THE LAUGHING GREEK
IS THE ONLY PLACE
THAT WOULD DELIVER
THIS TIME OF NIGHT.
HOW'S HE DOING?
[LAUGHING]
SO I TELL MY BROTHER DIMITRI,
"HEY, YOU CAN'T PUT YOUR
MOUSSAKA IN THE OVEN!"
BUT HE DON'T CARE.
BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GET DONE
SO HE CAN GO OUT WITH THE GIRLS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
AS LONG AS HE KEEPS TALKING.
ONE DAY A CUSTOMER PAYS
HIS TAB WITH A TWO-DOLLAR BILL.
AND DIMITRI'S NEVER
SEEN ONE BEFORE.
I'LL NEVER FORGET HIS FACE!
I THINK HE'S RUNNING LOW
ON COLORFUL ANECDOTES.
WE GOT AN HOUR TO GO.
IS THERE ANYTHING
WE HAVEN'T DONE YET?
WELL, THE SUNDAY PAPER IS HERE.
WE COULD READ THE FUNNIES.
CAN'T YOU BE A LITTLE
MORE CONSTRUCTIVE?
OH, GO AHEAD,
NATALIE, WORK ME OVER.
IT'S NOT BAD ENOUGH I'M BEING
STALKED BY A FACELESS MAN,
BUT I'VE GOT YOU
CRITICIZING MY SUGGESTIONS!
HERE, HOW ABOUT SOME
TOOTIE'S MOVIE REVIEWS?
HUH-UH, I'M NOT GOING
BACK ON THE AIR AGAIN.
WHO KNOWS WHO I'LL STIR UP?
COME ON, MRS. G. IT'S YOU AND ME
LIKE SISKEL AND EBERT.
WHAT'S THE MOVIE?
KILL ME AT THE PROM.
NO OFFENSE.
EAT, TOOTIE. YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.
HEY, GOOD NIGHT, GIRLS.
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED.
IT WAS DELICIOUS,
VERY AUTHENTIC.
EXCUSE ME, IT'S OK
I ASK A QUESTION?
HOW DID I DO, HUH?
WAS GOOD FOR YOU?
YOU WERE CHARMING.
IT'S THOSE DIMITRI STORIES.
GETS THEM EVERY TIME.
YASOU.
YASOU.
I FOUND IT THE MOST
ARTISTIC OF ITS GENRE.
THE USE OF THE MACHETE
WAS A STUNNING METAPHOR
FOR THE MANIAC'S BLINDING RAGE.
I FELT THE DIRECTOR WAS
CRYING OUT TO THE AUDIENCE,
"MAN'S THOUGHTS
MUST BE ELEVATED!"
ALL I SAW WAS SOMEONE'S
HEAD ON THE FLOOR.
TOOTIE, MAY I COULD TALK
TO YOU IF YOU HAVE A MINUTE?
I GOT THE REST OF MY LIFE.
BETTER TALK FAST.
BRAD AND I WERE
AT A PARTY TONIGHT.
AND WE WERE HAVING A GREAT TIME.
HE WENT TO GET ME SOME PUNCH.
AND HE LEFT ME WAITING
FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES.
NOW THAT'S JUST ABOUT
AS LONG AS I CAN AFFORD
TO BE SEEN ALONE AT A PARTY.
I WENT TO FIND HIM,
AND THERE HE WAS
IN THE ARBOR TALKING
TO HIS OLD GIRLFRIEND.
WELL, WHAT'D YOU DO?
I TOLD HIM HE HAD
A BAD COMPLEXION.
AND?
AND HE HASN'T CALLED
ME TO APOLOGIZE.
GUYS ALWAYS CALL AND
APOLOGIZE TO YOU, RIGHT?
SURE.
EVEN WHEN YOU'RE WRONG?
YOU THINK I WAS WRONG?
WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD'VE
GIVEN HIM A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT,
BUT YOU ASSUMED THE WORST.
I KNOW.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
CALL AND APOLOGIZE.
TO A MALE?
IT'S BEEN DONE.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.
IS HE IN THE LISTENING AREA?
NO...
OH, COME ON, BLAIR.
IT'LL BE SO ROMANTIC.
APOLOGIZING OVER THE AIR
SO THAT EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU.
HE'LL LOVE IT.
NO!
YOU THINK SO?
ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO
IT. THANKS, TOOTIE.
FORGET IT.
HEY, JO, DO YOU THINK WE CAN
MOVE THAT SOFA BY THE DOOR?
AND SO CONCLUDES TONIGHT'S
SEGMENT ME, MRS. G, AND THE CINEMA.
AND NOW, SPEAKING ON
ANY NUMBER OF SUBJECTS,
BLAIR WARNER.
HELLO AGAIN.
BRAD, IF YOU'RE OUT THERE,
A FRIEND HAS BROUGHT
IT TO MY ATTENTION
THAT I HAVE THIS PROBLEM
WITH JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS.
I DON'T ALWAYS GIVE
PEOPLE A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN.
I GUESS THAT'S
ALL I HAVE TO SAY.
IT WAS ALL MY FAULT,
AND I'M... SORRY.
THE OPINIONS
EXPRESSED BY MS. WARNER
ARE NOT NECESSARILY
THOSE OF THIS STATION
OR ITS MANAGEMENT.
AND SO IN THE LAST FRAME,
THE DOG SAYS TO THE MAN,
"WHY NOT? I'VE BEEN TO FLORIDA."
I MEAN, IF YOU COULD SEE THE
LOOK ON THIS SCHNAUZER'S FACE...
COME ON, NAT, TWO MORE MINUTES.
OH, I LOVE THE FUNNIES.
SO DID BRAD.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
OH, NO, IT'S THAT MAN!
HE'S COME TO GET ME.
I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I
JUST GOT MY BRACES OFF!
[KNOCK-KNOCK KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK]
[KNOCK-KNOCK]
PRETTY POLITE FOR A MURDERER.
NO, DON'T LET HIM IN!
RELAX, WILL YOU?
AAAAHHHHHH!
AAHHH!
BRAD!
YOU WERE GREAT ON THE RADIO.
CAN WE TALK?
SURE, I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.
I'LL WAIT FOR YOU IN THE CAR.
HERE, COME ON. CHUG-A-LUG.
OH, OH.
JO, HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN OUT?
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THAT IT'S
ALMOST 6:00, AND WE MADE IT THROUGH.
UGH. JUST TELL ME SOMETHING.
AM I A MEAN DRUNK?
VICIOUS.
THANK YOU.
WHY DON'T WE GIVE
YOU A LIFT HOME?
BRAD'S CAR IS DOWNSTAIRS.
THANKS.
LOOK, YOU GUYS, I
REALLY WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I APPRECIATE YOU
STICKING WITH ME TONIGHT.
I'M NOT REAL GOOD
AT ASKING FOR HELP,
BUT I'M GETTING BETTER
AT SAYING, "THANK YOU."
HEY, WE ENJOYED IT.
I JUST HOPE THE
PROFESSOR ENJOYS IT.
I WISH WE COULD HAVE
DONE A BETTER JOB FOR YOU.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
ANYONE CAN PLAY MUSIC.
HEY, 10 SECONDS TO GO!
AND FROM STAFF OF WLG,
GOOD NIGHT... AND GOOD MORNING.
THREE... TWO... ONE...
♪ O, SAY, CAN YOU SEE ♪
♪ BY THE DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT ♪
♪ WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED ♪
♪ AT THE TWILIGHT'S
LAST GLEAMING... ♪
♪ YOU'LL AVOID A LOT OF DAMAGE ♪
♪ AND ENJOY THE FUN OF
MANAGING THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THEY SHED A LOT OF LIGHT ♪
♪ IF YOU HEAR 'EM
FROM YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ BETTER CLEAR 'EM
WITH YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ BETTER GET 'EM RIGHT
CALL HER LATE AT NIGHT ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE FUTURE IN
THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ♪
♪ ALL YOU GOTTA DO
TO GET YOU THROUGH ♪
♪ IS UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ YOU THINK YOU'D
RATHER DO WITHOUT ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT
THROUGH WITHOUT THE TRUTH ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ LEARNING THE
FACTS OF LIFE... ♪
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
AND IN FIVE MINUTES, VICTOR KING'S
UP NEXT WITH THE MIDNIGHT TO SIX,
RIGHT HERE ON WLG-FM,
THE VOICE OF LANGLEY COLLEGE.
COME ON, JO, IT'S A
BIG NIGHT FOR MY TEAM.
PLEASE PLAY EYE OF THE TIGER.
NATALIE, WE DON'T TAKE REQUESTS.
COME ON. FOR THE HURRICANES?
OH, HI, PROFESSOR DUGAN.
I'VE BEEN WAITING
TO TALK TO YOU.
YOU DIDN'T COMPLETE
THESE STATION LOG REPORTS.
OH, YEAH, SEE, I
WAS GOING TO, BUT...
I KNOW WE'RE JUST
A STUDENT STATION,
BUT WE'RE STILL UNDER FCC RULES.
I KNOW.
YOU ALSO KNOW YOU'RE
LATE WITH TWO ASSIGNMENTS
AND YOU MISSED
LAST TUESDAY'S TEST.
WELL, SEE, THE PROBLEM WAS I HAD AN
ENGLISH PAPER AND A PSYCH PROJECT DUE.
OH, I SEE, IN OTHER WORDS, YOU HAD
TIME FOR EVERYONE ELSE'S CLASS BUT MINE.
I REALIZE MOST PEOPLE THINK
RADIO MANAGEMENT IS A MICKEY.
MICKEY?
MOUSE.
BUT I ASSURE YOU I
TAKE IT VERY SERIOUSLY.
YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THERE ARE
TWO EMPTY DESKS IN OUR CLASSROOM.
AND THOSE PEOPLE HAD BETTER
EXCUSES THAN YOU DO, JO.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
SHAPE UP OR YOU'RE
GONNA FAIL THIS COURSE.
UGH, WHAT WAS THAT YOU
WANTED, EYE OF THE TIGER OR...?
DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID?
JO, IF YOU FAIL THIS COURSE,
YOUR SCHOLARSHIP IS GONE.
I'M NOT GONNA FAIL.
YOU JUST WORRY
ABOUT THE HURRICANES
AND LEAVE RADIO TO ME.
THIS IS YOUR FRIEND
STACEY MARTIN SAYING,
HAVE A GOOD ONE.
JO, I DON'T THINK YOUR
PROFESSOR WAS KIDDING AROUND.
HE'S ALWAYS SAYING THAT.
YEAH, BUT TWO EMPTY
SEATS. I DON'T KNOW.
HEY, YOU GUYS SEEN VICTOR?
WE'RE ON IN FIVE MINUTES.
MR. RELIABLE WILL BE
HERE. HE ALWAYS IS.
OH, BY THE WAY, THE
LEFT TURNTABLE'S BLOWN.
HEY, LOOK, CAN YOU
GIVE NATALIE A LIFT?
SHE'S LATE FOR
ALL-NIGHT BOWLING.
JO, ARE YOU SURE?
I'M FINE, REALLY.
YOUR TEAM'S WAITING.
OK.
HAVE YOU KIDS EVER
CONSIDERED TAKING UP BOWLING?
PROBABLY NOT.
HELLO, JO.
HEY, VICTOR, HURRY UP.
YOU'RE ON IN A MINUTE.
VICTOR... YOU'RE DRUNK?
OH, NO.
THAT'S SO UNLIKE ME.
BUT YOU DON'T DRINK.
THAT'S WHAT I TOLD THEM,
BUT THEY SAID IT WAS PART
OF MY FRATERNITY INITIATION.
IT'S A SECRET RITUAL.
WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT?
LOOK, I'LL HAVE TO
PUT ON SOME RECORDS.
GIVE ME YOUR KEY TO
THE RECORD CABINET.
IT'S IN ONE OF MY POCKETS.
GO FISH.
I DON'T WANT TO FISH.
AW.
COME ON, VICTOR,
GIVE ME THE KEY.
KEYS.
VICTOR, THESE ARE CAR KEYS.
YOU DIDN'T DRIVE
OVER HERE, DID YOU?
COURSE NOT. I WAS
DROPPED OFF... IN A SACK.
CAN I HAVE THE KEY, VICTOR?
NO KEY.
IT MUST HAVE FALLEN OUT WHEN
THEY WERE TOSSING ME IN THE AIR.
COME HERE, COME
HERE, SIT DOWN HERE.
LOOK, IF I BLOW THIS TONIGHT,
I AM GONNA BE OUT OF SCHOOL.
PLEASE TALK TO ME!
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
SOMEBODY BE HOME.
[LINE RINGING]
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
HI, THIS IS EDNA'S EDIBLES.
IF YOU'D LIKE TO LEAVE
A MESSAGE FOR EDNA...
OR NATALIE... OR
TOOTIE... OR JO... OR BLAIR...
WAIT FOR THE BEEP,
THEN TALK. BYE.
[BEEP]
LOOK, GUYS, THIS IS ME.
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
LOOK, I'M AT THE STATION
AND VICTOR IS DRUNK.
I NEED YOU TO COME DOWN HERE.
AND WOULD YOU PLEASE
BRING SOME RECORDS?
JUST BRING A LOT OF
RECORDS, ALL RIGHT?
OH, OH!
AND THAT WAS MAD DOG WITH
CAN'T WAIT ONE MORE TIME.
AND HEY, SINCE IT'S
SUCH A GREAT SONG,
LET'S LISTEN TO IT AGAIN.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
WLG, ONE MINUTE, PLEASE.
WLG, ONE MINUTE, PLEASE.
GOOD MORNING, WLG.
IT'S A SPECIAL
TRIBUTE TO MAD DOG.
YOU WANNA MAKE SOMETHING OF IT?
OH, IT'S SKIPPING?
OH, THANKS. HOLD ON.
[RECORD SKIPPING]
AND NOW, AS A SPECIAL TREAT
TO ALL YOU MAD DOG LOVERS,
WLG IS PROUD TO BRING
YOU THE OTHER SIDE.
JO, I'M HERE.
OH, MRS. G., YOU'RE A LIFESAVER.
WELL, I HOPE IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I WAS AT DEAN PARKER'S PARTY.
I JUST CALLED IN TO
CHECK THE MESSAGES,
AND I BORROWED ONE OF THEIRS.
I REALLY OWE YOU FOR THIS ONE.
COMMENCEMENT IS NOT
AN END, BUT A BEGINNING...
COMMENCEMENT HIGHLIGHTS?
THE WORD DERIVES FROM THE
FRENCH WORD COMENCITIARE,
WHICH MEANS TO COMMENCE.
IT WAS THAT OR POLKA
ON DOWN THE ROAD.
WHY ISN'T VICTOR MOVING?
OH, HE WAS DRUNK AND PASSED OUT.
THAT'S SO UNLIKE HIM.
I KNOW.
SO WHO'S DOING...
NO ONE. THAT'S WHY
I NEED THE RECORDS.
NOT JUST A BEGINNING,
BUT A NEW START.
LOOK, I'M GONNA SEE
IF I CAN FIND A CROWBAR
TO OPEN THE CABINET.
JUST WATCH THE VU METERS,
KEEP THE NEEDLES IN RED,
AND MAKE SURE YOU GET
TRANSMITTER READINGS.
FINE. IS THIS THE RECORD PLAYER?
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
IT'S CULTURAL PROGRAMMING.
HERE.
OH, TOOTIE, YOU BROUGHT
RECORDS, THANK YOU.
AS SOON AS I GOT YOUR
MESSAGE, I RUSHED RIGHT OVER.
NATALIE, WHY AREN'T YOU BOWLING?
I WAS. THIS BETTER
BE AN EMERGENCY.
THESE SHOES ARE
RENTED BY THE HOUR.
THE POLICE,
SPRINGSTEEN, BILLY IDOL.
THIS IS GREAT!
WELL, WAIT A MINUTE, ALL THE
A.M. STATIONS PLAY THE HITS.
IT'S SO COMMERCIAL.
THIS IS COLLEGE RADIO.
DO THE UNEXPECTED.
LIKE THIS?
WE COULD CALL IT A BEGINNING.
WE COULD CALL IT
STARTING OUT, BUT WE DON'T.
PLAY THE HITS.
WE CALL IT...
OH, HI, BLAIR.
OH. HI.
YOU OK?
ME? FINE.
IS JO HERE?
OH, HI, JO.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE
JUST LIKE A FAMILY.
WHEN ONE MEMBER IS IN TROUBLE,
EVERYONE ELSE RALLIES AROUND.
COULD YOU ALL LEAVE NOW?
JO, CAN I SPEAK TO YOU ALONE?
BLAIR, I'M A LITTLE
BUSY RIGHT NOW.
OH, THANKS.
BRAD AND I JUST HAD
THIS HORRENDOUS FIGHT.
I THOUGHT MAYBE SINCE YOU
KNOW HIM AND YOU KNOW ME...
I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU, BUT
I'M REALLY UP AGAINST IT.
LOOK, GUYS, I GOTTA STAY
IN HERE AND RUN THE BOARD.
I NEED ONE OF YOU TO GO IN
THERE AND DO WHAT VICTOR DOES.
SHOULDN'T BE TOO TOUGH.
YOU JUST HAVE TO
INTRODUCE THE RECORDS,
GIVE THE TIME, THE
WEATHER, READ A LITTLE NEWS.
I'M YOUR JOCK. LET'S ROCK.
THERE ARE OTHER
PEOPLE HERE, NATALIE.
WELL, WHY DON'T EACH
OF YOU READ SOMETHING,
AND THEN I'LL
CHOOSE THE BEST ONE.
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
WE'VE COME DOWN
HERE TO HELP YOU,
AND YOU WANT US TO AUDITION?
YEAH.
WELL, IF YOU'RE AFRAID
OF COMPETITION...
WHY DON'T YOU GO FIRST, MRS. G.
ME? OH, I COULDN'T.
I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE.
I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
WHERE'S THE MIKE?
GREAT. RIGHT IN HERE.
ALL RIGHT, JUST READ THIS
AND PRETEND TO USE THE MIKE.
ALL RIGHT. [CLEARS THROAT]
"TORRENTIAL RAINS
CAUSED MORE FLOODING
"IN MISSOURI LAST NIGHT
AS THE STRIFE-TORN AREA..."
YOU KNOW, WE REALLY SHOULD
DO MORE FOR THOSE POOR PEOPLE.
THAT'S SO GREAT.
THE GOVERNMENT, THEY
SHOULD DO SOMETHING.
YES, THAT'S GREAT.
WHY DON'T YOU WAIT IN
THERE, MRS. GARRETT?
BLAIR.
IF I STAY, CAN WE TALK LATER?
SURE, SURE.
ALL RIGHT.
"IT'S HAPPY, HAPPY FIESTA
TIME AT LANGLEY COLLEGE
"NEXT THURSDAY
NIGHT AT RIDLEY HALL.
"BRING YOUR MARACAS.
OLE."
THAT'LL REALLY PACK 'EM IN.
NAT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
ALL RIGHT, THAT WAS
MR. S, THE MEAN STEEN,
AND I'M KEEN NAT GREEN,
ROCKIN' DOWN THE CLOCK
AND TALKIN' YOU
'ROUND THE BLOCK.
YOUR TURN.
ALL RIGHT, TOOTIE, LET ME HEAR
YOU INTRODUCE THIS RECORD.
IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE.
I JUST NEED A MOMENT TO PREPARE.
NOW, WHAT IS MY MOTIVATION?
YOUR WHAT?
WELL, I HAVE TO GET INSIDE
THIS ANNOUNCER'S HEAD.
I MEAN, WHAT DOES SHE
THINK, HOW DOES SHE ACT,
HOW DOES SHE RELATE TO YOU?
SHE DOESN'T. I FIRED HER.
GET OUT OF THERE.
I MADE UP MY MIND.
WELL, SO HAVE I.
YOU KNOW, FOR SOMEONE
WHO ASKED FOR HELP,
YOU'RE BEING AWFULLY PICKY!
LOOK, I WAS LEFT IN CHARGE HERE.
I HAVE CERTAIN
STANDARDS TO MAINTAIN.
OH, JO, NONE OF US
ARE PROFESSIONALS.
I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
I GUESS I'M JUST
A LITTLE ON EDGE.
WHO WOULDN'T BE? NAT.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT
COULD HAPPEN TO THIS GIRL?
NO, BECAUSE IT'S
MY BUSINESS, ISN'T IT?
SHE IS THIS CLOSE TO
FLUNKING HER RADIO COURSE.
SHE MESSES UP AGAIN, SHE'S
WORKING IN A PET STORE IN THE BRONX.
THANKS, NATALIE.
OH, JO, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?
WELL, DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL GET THROUGH
THIS THING TOGETHER.
OF COURSE, WHAT HAVE WE
GOT TO FILL, A COUPLE HOURS?
FIVE.
WELL, THERE'S FIVE OF US.
AND LOTS OF RECORDS.
AM I ON?
GO HOME, VICTOR.
YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD
YOUR MOTHER ISN'T HERE
TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS.
NO, I THINK I'M OK, REALLY.
WHAT AM I PLAYING?
OH, VICTOR!
YOU NEED THIS FOR ANYTHING?
OH, IT'S HOPELESS.
IT CAN'T BE FIXED.
WHY DON'T I MAKE SOME COFFEE?
I CAN'T PLAY RECORDS.
I'M GONNA BE GRADED
ON FIVE HOURS OF SILENCE!
OK. WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO?
UH... HERE, NATALIE.
YOU READ THE NEWS.
OKAY, "A SMALL FIRE IN THE
SOFT PUFF TISSUE WAREHOUSE"?
WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT?
NOTHING!
JO, THIS IS 10 SECONDS TOPS!
STRETCH IT. GO!
THIS IS SO SHOW BIZ!
YOU'RE ON.
OKAY, THIS IS NATALIE
GREEN AT WLG-FM
WITH THE LATE-BREAKING NEWS.
AT THE TOP OF THE NEWS,
MASSIVE FIRE BREAKS
OUT IN LOCAL WAREHOUSE,
THREATENING LIVES AND DESTROYING
THOUSANDS OF BOXES OF TISSUE.
WLG NEWS REPORTER CYNTHIA
LOMPOC IS ON THE SCENE.
CYNTHIA?
YES, NATALIE, IT'S
A FIRE, ALL RIGHT.
A BIG FIRE.
LOTS OF BURNING.
I'M STANDING HERE
WITH FIRE CHIEF WINSTON.
CHIEF, WHAT DOES
IT LOOK LIKE TO YOU?
LOOKS LIKE A BIG FIRE, CYNTHIA.
REALLY... BIG.
OH, THANK YOU, CHIEF WINSTON.
AND NOW BACK TO YOU, NATALIE.
UH, THANK YOU, CYNTHIA.
HERE, BLAIR, YOU DO THE SPORTS.
SPORTS?
ME DO THE SPORTS?
DO IT FOR THE GIPPER.
WHAT'S A GIPPER?
JUST READ THE SCORES.
IF I DO THIS, CAN WE TALK LATER?
BLAIR, I CAN'T THINK
ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.
LOOK, I'M HERE FOR YOU, BLAIR.
THANKS, TOOTIE, BUT
IT'S KIND OF COMPLICATED.
YOU SEE, IT'S ABOUT A GUY AND...
HERE, YOU DO THE MOVIE REVIEW.
I DON'T WANNA DO
THE MOVIE REVIEW!
OH, MRS. G., YOU COULD
DO THE CALL-IN ADVICE SHOW.
OKAY.
I WANNA DO THE
CALL-IN ADVICE SHOW!
FINE. BUT DON'T WHINE!
YOU DO THE ADVICE
AND I'LL DO THE MOVIE REVIEW.
IT PAYS TO WHINE.
WHAT THEY ARE NOW CALLING
THE LARGEST FIRE
IN PEEKSKILL HISTORY.
LET'S CHECK WORLD
REACTION TO THE CRISIS.
STANDING BY IN
ROME, GINA VESPUCCI.
BUONA SERA, NATALIE.
GRANDE FIRA.
MULTO GRANDE.
TOOTIE, GET IN
THERE AND REMEMBER,
KEEP YOUR ADVICE
MIDDLE-OF-THE-ROAD.
YOU GOT IT.
MULTO, MULTO, MULTO GRANDE!
AND THAT'S ALL FOR THE NEWS.
AND NOW IT'S TIME
TO TALK TO TOOTIE.
HEY, I GOT A CORRESPONDENT
STANDING BY IN BOMBAY!
THIS IS THE SHOW
WHERE YOU CALL IN
AND I'LL SOLVE ALL
YOUR PROBLEMS.
[RING]
I'M TAKING MY FIRST CALL.
HELLO. YOU'RE ON WITH TOOTIE.
TOOTIE, I HAVE A PROBLEM.
MY BOYFRIEND IS
SEEING SOMEONE ELSE.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
DUMP HIM.
BUT I LOVE HIM.
YOU'LL GET OVER IT.
CAN'T WE WORK IT OUT IF WE
LEARN TO TALK TO EACH OTHER?
NO WAY, HONEY, HE'S A
CHEAT. YOU BETTER LOSE HIM!
HA! HA! HA!
YES, NOW...
FILLING IN FOR THE
VACATIONING TOOTIE
IS OUR OWN EDNA GARRETT.
HI, THERE. THIS IS EDNA.
CAN I HELP YOU?
I WANT TO TALK TO TOOTIE.
WELL, I'M SORRY, SHE
CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW.
MAYBE I CAN HELP?
YOU CAN TAKE A MESSAGE.
I JUST HEARD HER TELL
MY GIRLFRIEND TO DUMP ME.
WELL, TELL TOOTIE I'M
COMING DOWN THERE
AND STRAIGHTEN
HER OUT PERSONALLY!
YOU'RE WELCOME, I'M SURE.
IT'S JUST SOMETHING I
HAVE A KNACK FOR, I GUESS.
CALL ANYTIME.
EDNA LENDS AN EAR.
TELL ME YOUR TROUBLE
AND NEVER FEAR.
HOW MAY I HELP YOU?
HI. I'M MARILYN.
MY BOYFRIEND WANTS ME TO
GO WITH HIM ON A CAMPING TRIP.
OH, THAT'S GREAT!
CAMPING WITH A FRIEND
CAN MEAN MANY HAPPY MEMORIES.
HE WANTS ME TO SLEEP WITH HIM.
THOUGH MEMORIES CAN BE
UGLY AND HAUNT YOU TO DEATH.
LOOK, I REALLY NEED YOUR ADVICE.
OH, WELL, YES, OF COURSE.
THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
SO SHOULD MY
BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE SEX?
UH, UH, MARILYN,
YOU MUST REALIZE
THIS IS A VERY DIFFICULT
QUESTION FOR ME.
YOU SEE, WHEN I WAS A GIRL,
WE COULDN'T EVEN SAY
"CAMPING" ON THE RADIO.
ALL I CAN SAY IS
THINK OF THE CONSEQUENCES,
CONSIDER YOUR FEELINGS,
AND CARRY A COMPASS.
WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT
TO HEAR IS ONLY A TEST.
BEEEEEEEEEEEP...
I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.
IT'S TOO HARD ON ME.
I LIVE EACH ONE.
I KNOW, MRS.
GARRETT, YOU GO REST.
DON'T WORRY. I'LL DO THE SPORTS.
EEEEEEEEEP.
REMEMBER, THAT WAS ONLY A TEST
OF THE EMERGENCY
BROADCAST SYSTEM.
IN THE EVENT OF AN
ACTUAL EMERGENCY...
BLAIR WARNER WILL
READ THE SPORTS.
THEN CAN WE TALK ABOUT BRAD?
HI THERE, ALL YOU
SPORTS-TYPE PEOPLE.
I'VE GOT A FEW FOOTBALL SCORES
YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN.
BUT KEEP IN MIND THAT THE
ARTS CAN BE EXCITING, TOO.
OKAY.
"THE JETS HAVE LOST
TO THE COWBOYS
IN SUDDEN DEATH."
HOW HORRIBLE!
THE TEAM SEEMS TO HAVE
DIED AND LOST THE GAME.
NATALIE, WILL YOU HELP ME?
THAT GUY ON THE PHONE SAID HE
WAS COMING DOWN HERE TO GET ME!
RELAX, THEY GET CRANK CALLERS
ALL THE TIME AT RADIO STATIONS.
THEY'RE HARMLESS.
OH, NO, NOT THIS ONE.
I'VE BEEN IN THIS BUSINESS
LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW.
TOOTIE, YOU AREN'T
IN THIS BUSINESS.
NAT, WHAT IF HE ATTACKS
ME WHILE I'M ON THE AIR?
WE'LL CUT TO A COMMERCIAL.
WHAT AM I EATING NOW?
MMM, IT'S SOUVLAKI.
I HATE IT.
NATALIE, STOP COMPLAINING.
THE LAUGHING GREEK
IS THE ONLY PLACE
THAT WOULD DELIVER
THIS TIME OF NIGHT.
HOW'S HE DOING?
[LAUGHING]
SO I TELL MY BROTHER DIMITRI,
"HEY, YOU CAN'T PUT YOUR
MOUSSAKA IN THE OVEN!"
BUT HE DON'T CARE.
BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GET DONE
SO HE CAN GO OUT WITH THE GIRLS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
AS LONG AS HE KEEPS TALKING.
ONE DAY A CUSTOMER PAYS
HIS TAB WITH A TWO-DOLLAR BILL.
AND DIMITRI'S NEVER
SEEN ONE BEFORE.
I'LL NEVER FORGET HIS FACE!
I THINK HE'S RUNNING LOW
ON COLORFUL ANECDOTES.
WE GOT AN HOUR TO GO.
IS THERE ANYTHING
WE HAVEN'T DONE YET?
WELL, THE SUNDAY PAPER IS HERE.
WE COULD READ THE FUNNIES.
CAN'T YOU BE A LITTLE
MORE CONSTRUCTIVE?
OH, GO AHEAD,
NATALIE, WORK ME OVER.
IT'S NOT BAD ENOUGH I'M BEING
STALKED BY A FACELESS MAN,
BUT I'VE GOT YOU
CRITICIZING MY SUGGESTIONS!
HERE, HOW ABOUT SOME
TOOTIE'S MOVIE REVIEWS?
HUH-UH, I'M NOT GOING
BACK ON THE AIR AGAIN.
WHO KNOWS WHO I'LL STIR UP?
COME ON, MRS. G. IT'S YOU AND ME
LIKE SISKEL AND EBERT.
WHAT'S THE MOVIE?
KILL ME AT THE PROM.
NO OFFENSE.
EAT, TOOTIE. YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.
HEY, GOOD NIGHT, GIRLS.
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED.
IT WAS DELICIOUS,
VERY AUTHENTIC.
EXCUSE ME, IT'S OK
I ASK A QUESTION?
HOW DID I DO, HUH?
WAS GOOD FOR YOU?
YOU WERE CHARMING.
IT'S THOSE DIMITRI STORIES.
GETS THEM EVERY TIME.
YASOU.
YASOU.
I FOUND IT THE MOST
ARTISTIC OF ITS GENRE.
THE USE OF THE MACHETE
WAS A STUNNING METAPHOR
FOR THE MANIAC'S BLINDING RAGE.
I FELT THE DIRECTOR WAS
CRYING OUT TO THE AUDIENCE,
"MAN'S THOUGHTS
MUST BE ELEVATED!"
ALL I SAW WAS SOMEONE'S
HEAD ON THE FLOOR.
TOOTIE, MAY I COULD TALK
TO YOU IF YOU HAVE A MINUTE?
I GOT THE REST OF MY LIFE.
BETTER TALK FAST.
BRAD AND I WERE
AT A PARTY TONIGHT.
AND WE WERE HAVING A GREAT TIME.
HE WENT TO GET ME SOME PUNCH.
AND HE LEFT ME WAITING
FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES.
NOW THAT'S JUST ABOUT
AS LONG AS I CAN AFFORD
TO BE SEEN ALONE AT A PARTY.
I WENT TO FIND HIM,
AND THERE HE WAS
IN THE ARBOR TALKING
TO HIS OLD GIRLFRIEND.
WELL, WHAT'D YOU DO?
I TOLD HIM HE HAD
A BAD COMPLEXION.
AND?
AND HE HASN'T CALLED
ME TO APOLOGIZE.
GUYS ALWAYS CALL AND
APOLOGIZE TO YOU, RIGHT?
SURE.
EVEN WHEN YOU'RE WRONG?
YOU THINK I WAS WRONG?
WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD'VE
GIVEN HIM A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT,
BUT YOU ASSUMED THE WORST.
I KNOW.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
CALL AND APOLOGIZE.
TO A MALE?
IT'S BEEN DONE.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.
IS HE IN THE LISTENING AREA?
NO...
OH, COME ON, BLAIR.
IT'LL BE SO ROMANTIC.
APOLOGIZING OVER THE AIR
SO THAT EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU.
HE'LL LOVE IT.
NO!
YOU THINK SO?
ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO
IT. THANKS, TOOTIE.
FORGET IT.
HEY, JO, DO YOU THINK WE CAN
MOVE THAT SOFA BY THE DOOR?
AND SO CONCLUDES TONIGHT'S
SEGMENT ME, MRS. G, AND THE CINEMA.
AND NOW, SPEAKING ON
ANY NUMBER OF SUBJECTS,
BLAIR WARNER.
HELLO AGAIN.
BRAD, IF YOU'RE OUT THERE,
A FRIEND HAS BROUGHT
IT TO MY ATTENTION
THAT I HAVE THIS PROBLEM
WITH JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS.
I DON'T ALWAYS GIVE
PEOPLE A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN.
I GUESS THAT'S
ALL I HAVE TO SAY.
IT WAS ALL MY FAULT,
AND I'M... SORRY.
THE OPINIONS
EXPRESSED BY MS. WARNER
ARE NOT NECESSARILY
THOSE OF THIS STATION
OR ITS MANAGEMENT.
AND SO IN THE LAST FRAME,
THE DOG SAYS TO THE MAN,
"WHY NOT? I'VE BEEN TO FLORIDA."
I MEAN, IF YOU COULD SEE THE
LOOK ON THIS SCHNAUZER'S FACE...
COME ON, NAT, TWO MORE MINUTES.
OH, I LOVE THE FUNNIES.
SO DID BRAD.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
OH, NO, IT'S THAT MAN!
HE'S COME TO GET ME.
I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I
JUST GOT MY BRACES OFF!
[KNOCK-KNOCK KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK]
[KNOCK-KNOCK]
PRETTY POLITE FOR A MURDERER.
NO, DON'T LET HIM IN!
RELAX, WILL YOU?
AAAAHHHHHH!
AAHHH!
BRAD!
YOU WERE GREAT ON THE RADIO.
CAN WE TALK?
SURE, I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.
I'LL WAIT FOR YOU IN THE CAR.
HERE, COME ON. CHUG-A-LUG.
OH, OH.
JO, HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN OUT?
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THAT IT'S
ALMOST 6:00, AND WE MADE IT THROUGH.
UGH. JUST TELL ME SOMETHING.
AM I A MEAN DRUNK?
VICIOUS.
THANK YOU.
WHY DON'T WE GIVE
YOU A LIFT HOME?
BRAD'S CAR IS DOWNSTAIRS.
THANKS.
LOOK, YOU GUYS, I
REALLY WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I APPRECIATE YOU
STICKING WITH ME TONIGHT.
I'M NOT REAL GOOD
AT ASKING FOR HELP,
BUT I'M GETTING BETTER
AT SAYING, "THANK YOU."
HEY, WE ENJOYED IT.
I JUST HOPE THE
PROFESSOR ENJOYS IT.
I WISH WE COULD HAVE
DONE A BETTER JOB FOR YOU.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
ANYONE CAN PLAY MUSIC.
HEY, 10 SECONDS TO GO!
AND FROM STAFF OF WLG,
GOOD NIGHT... AND GOOD MORNING.
THREE... TWO... ONE...
♪ O, SAY, CAN YOU SEE ♪
♪ BY THE DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT ♪
♪ WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED ♪
♪ AT THE TWILIGHT'S
LAST GLEAMING... ♪
♪ YOU'LL AVOID A LOT OF DAMAGE ♪
♪ AND ENJOY THE FUN OF
MANAGING THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THEY SHED A LOT OF LIGHT ♪
♪ IF YOU HEAR 'EM
FROM YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ BETTER CLEAR 'EM
WITH YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ BETTER GET 'EM RIGHT
CALL HER LATE AT NIGHT ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE FUTURE IN
THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ♪
♪ ALL YOU GOTTA DO
TO GET YOU THROUGH ♪
♪ IS UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ YOU THINK YOU'D
RATHER DO WITHOUT ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT
THROUGH WITHOUT THE TRUTH ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE
ARE ALL ABOUT YOU ♪
♪ LEARNING THE
FACTS OF LIFE... ♪