The Facts of Life (1979–1988): Season 4, Episode 16 - Let's Party - full transcript
Tootie defends her brother Marshall after he drives the girls home from a party after having five beers.
♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD,
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
IT MUST BE ZERO OUTSIDE!
IF YOU'RE WAITING
FOR MARSHALL OUTSIDE,
PUT ON A COAT.
NAT.
PUT ON A COAT!
I'M TOO EXCITED TO CATCH COLD.
TRANSLATION... SHE'D
RATHER GET PNEUMONIA
THAN COVER UP THAT SWEATER.
HE'S TAKING TIME
FROM SKIING TO VISIT ME.
BROTHERS CAN BE SO LOVING.
I WONDER HOW MUCH
MONEY HE WANTS TO BORROW.
I KNOW YOU'RE KIDDING.
YOU ARE KIDDING?
OF COURSE I AM.
WOULD I SAY ANYTHING
NEGATIVE ABOUT MARSHALL?
FASTER SKIER THAN
JEAN-CLAUDE KILLY.
MORE POWERFUL STUDENT
THAN ALBERT EINSTEIN.
LOOK! UP IN THE SKY!
IT'S SUPERBROTHER!
I ALMOST FORGOT THE
HAT AND SCARF HE GAVE ME.
NAT, HE'S DRIVING
DAD'S STATION WAGON.
SCREAM IF YOU SEE HIM.
I ALWAYS SCREAM AT MARSHALL.
BE RIGHT BACK.
GUESS WHAT WE JUST DUG UP?
YOUR FACE?
IT'S A BOK CHOY.
CHINESE CABBAGE.
WELL... E-I-E-I-O.
HEY, IT'S HER FIRST
BLOOMING MIRACLE.
SHE'S GOT A RIGHT TO BE EXCITED.
WHAT A KICK.
PLANTING THOSE LITTLE SEEDS
AND WATERING THEM.
THEN SUDDENLY, LITTLE GREEN
SHOOTS BREAK THROUGH THE SOIL.
AND THEY GET
BIGGER AND LEAFIER...
IT WAS ALL RIGHT, I GUESS.
IT'S HIM! MARSHALL'S
FINALLY HERE!
TOOTIE, MARSHALL'S HERE!
IT'S A SHAME TOOTIE HAS
NO USE FOR HER BROTHER.
I WONDER IF I MISSED OUT
NOT HAVING A BROTHER.
NAH.
IMAGINE DEALING WITH A
BOY AS GOOD LOOKING AS ME.
HEY, GUYS. GUESS WHO'S HERE.
MARSHALL, HELLO.
HI.
WHAT A SURPRISE!
MARSHALL THE MAGNIFICENT.
NATALIE THE PERCEPTIVE.
HOW ARE YOU?
FINE. I MISSED YOU.
MRS. GARRETT, YOU
LOOK WONDERFUL.
WELL, THANK YOU.
WANT TO SEE MY BOK CHOY?
THE OTHER ONE CROAKED.
OH, MARSHALL.
CONGRATULATIONS ON
YOUR PHI BETA KAPPA KEY.
THANKS. HOW'D YOU
KNOW ABOUT THAT?
OH, MY PUBLIC RELATIONS FIRM.
OK, I MIGHT'VE
MENTIONED IT A FEW TIMES.
WITH A BULLHORN.
MARSHALL, I
TIGHTENED THE SKI RACK.
HELLO!
HI, I'M MARSHALL'S ROOMMATE.
PAUL WALSH, MEET TOOTIE, MY SIS.
HER FRIENDS, MRS.
GARRETT, NATALIE, AND JO...
I'M BLAIR WARNER.
YOU SURE ARE.
IS IT OK THAT MARSHALL
STAYS FOR DINNER?
AND PAUL?
SURE. AND AS A SPECIAL TREAT,
WE'LL STEAM UP JO'S BOK CHOY.
NOBODY COOKS THAT!
I'M PUTTING THAT
IN MY SCRAPBOOK!
TOOTIE, DINNER SOUNDS NICE,
BUT WE'VE GOT
OTHER PLANS TONIGHT.
A FEW OF US SKIERS
ARE HAVING A PARTY.
OH?
DON'T POUT ON ME.
YOU'RE INCLUDED IN THE PLANS.
YOU'RE INVITING
ME TO YOUR PARTY?
YOU'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
YOU'RE GROWN-UP NOW.
YOU'RE ALL INVITED.
WHOA!
CONSIDER THAT MY RSVP.
HELP YOURSELVES TO MORE PIZZA.
TOOTIE, GRAB ME ANOTHER BREW.
YOU'RE NOT FINISHED
WITH THAT BREW.
I'M ALWAYS PLANNING AHEAD.
REMEMBER WHEN DAD
CAUGHT YOU DRINKING BEER?
YOU WERE 15.
HE GOT THE STRAP OUT,
AND I STARTED CRYING.
YOU WOULDN'T STOP,
SO I ONLY GOT LECTURED.
SHE'S BEEN MY LUCKY
CHARM EVER SINCE.
SO, YOUR DAD'S WARNER TEXTILES.
HE'S BEEN ON MY BACK FOR YEARS.
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
MY DAD'S WACCO.
HE IS?
WALSH COMMUNICATIONS COMPANY.
OH.
YOU'RE IN NEWSPAPERS.
AND RADIO AND TV.
DAD PLANS TO START ME
MANAGING A RADIO STATION,
THEN UP TO TELEVISION.
EVENTUALLY, I'LL TAKE
OVER HIS CABLE OPERATION.
YOUR DAD'S SMART,
LETTING YOU MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN.
SO, TELL ME MORE ABOUT
JOURNALISM SCHOOL, GEORGE.
NATALIE, JUST GET READY
TO STRETCH YOUR MIND.
UNDERSTAND?
RIGHT. I'LL GET IT IN SHAPE.
YOU MUST WRITE
BENEATH THE SURFACE.
LOOK FOR DEPTH.
WE'RE TALKING SUBTEXT.
EXACTLY.
LIKE J.D. SALINGER DID
IN CATCHER IN THE RYE
BEFORE HE GOT
INTELLECTUALLY CONSTIPATED.
YEAH.
POOR GUY.
HEY! JO'S HERE!
SHE'S PARKING HER BIKE.
NO BETTER TIME TO
PLAY KAMIKAZE QUIZ.
ALL RIGHT! I LOVE QUIZ GAMES!
WHEN SOMEONE
NEW ASKS A QUESTION,
EVERYBODY TAKES A DRINK.
WHEN THEY SAY "WHY,"
EVERYBODY HAS TO CHUG-A-LUG.
NEAT! MY FIRST
COLLEGE DRINKING GAME.
IS DIET ROOT BEER OK?
SURE.
HERE SHE COMES. DON'T TELL HER.
HEY, EVERYBODY, THIS IS JO.
JO, THIS IS EVERYBODY.
HI. ANY PIZZA LEFT?
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
NOTHING. WE'RE IN A GOOD MOOD.
THERE'S THE PIZZA.
GREAT. WHAT KIND IS IT?
IS THERE SOMETHING
WEIRD ON THIS?
OF COURSE NOT.
WHY IS EVERYONE LAUGHING?
WHY?
I CAN'T STAND IT.
I'M TELLING HER.
THEY'RE PLAYING KAMIKAZE QUIZ.
WHENEVER YOU ASK A QUESTION,
THEY TAKE A DRINK.
WHEN YOU ASKED WHY,
WE HAD TO CHUG-A-LUG.
SHE'S NOT ALWAYS A
FUN-LOVING PERSON.
HEY, GEORGIE, TOSS
ME ONE OF THOSE.
IF YOU KNEW HOW
REFRESHING IT WAS
TO DISCUSS LITERATURE
WITH A COLLEGE MAN...
AND ANOTHER THING
I'M GOING TO DO
WHEN I TAKE OVER PROGRAMMING.
I'LL GET SOMEONE BIG...
LIKE... ORSON WELLES.
HE'S BIG.
I'LL SIT HIM ON A STOOL...
BETTER MAKE THAT TWO STOOLS.
TURN THE CAMERA ON AND
HAVE HIM READ MOBY DICK
PAGE BY PAGE.
THERE'S ANOTHER PARTY
IN A MOTEL IN YORKTOWN,
AND THEY'VE GOT MUSIC!
SO HOW ABOUT IT, TOOTIE?
IT SOUNDS GREAT,
BUT I PROMISED MRS. GARRETT
WE'D BE BACK BY 10:00.
I DON'T GET TO DANCE
WITH MY SISTER?
OK.
ANOTHER TIME.
I'LL DRIVE YOU HOME.
LADIES, MY COACH AWAITS.
UH... MARSHALL.
THERE'S ONE THING I'VE
ALWAYS WANTED TO DO...
DRIVE A STATION WAGON.
UH... WHY DON'T YOU
GIVE ME THE KEYS?
I TOOK PSYCH.
YOU THINK I'M TOO
BOMBED TO DRIVE.
YOU COULD'VE SKIPPED PSYCH
AND FIGURED THAT OUT.
I DO NOT GET DRUNK ON BEER.
I'M RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH
TO KNOW WHEN TO DRIVE.
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
YOU'RE EMBARRASSING MY BROTHER
IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS.
START THE CAR.
WE'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
YOU WON'T DRINK
WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING?
YOU THINK I'M CRAZY?
IF YOU'LL FEEL SAFER,
I'LL BE GLAD TO DRIVE.
THANKS, PAUL, BUT
MARSHALL WILL BE FINE.
GOOD, 'CAUSE I
DON'T FEEL SO WELL.
WHY DIDN'T I LEAVE WITH JO?
I COULD HAVE HAD A SAFE RIDE
ON HER FILTHY BIKE.
WHY DID JO LEAVE SO QUICKLY?
'CAUSE SHE'S SMART.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW
TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
LIKE GEORGE?
GUYS, MARSHALL'S
NEVER HAD AN ACCIDENT.
DON'T WORRY.
WHO'S WORRIED? WE
JUST... NEED EXERCISE.
BLAIR, WANT TO WALK?
SURE. TO A TAXI.
YOU'RE RUINING MARSHALL'S VISIT!
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE MY FRIENDS.
TOOTIE, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
MARSHALL'S BEEN DRINKING.
HE'S DRUNK!
MY BROTHER KNOWS
WHEN HE'S OK TO DRIVE.
ARE YOU COMING?
COME ON.
THEY LEFT AN HOUR AGO?
GEORGE, CONCENTRATE AND
REMEMBER THESE FOUR WORDS.
JO CALLED. PHONE HOME.
WERE THEY STILL THERE?
UH... THEY JUST LEFT.
THEY SHOULD BE HOME ANY TIME.
IT'S NOT LIKE TOOTIE TO
BE LATE AND NOT CALL.
SHE'S SO FLIPPED
OUT OVER MARSHALL,
SHE PROBABLY FORGOT.
YES. THEY'RE WITH MARSHALL.
THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
HERE'S THE WOOL BLANKET.
THAT SOLAR GREENHOUSE
SHOULD BE WARM ENOUGH.
CAN'T TAKE ANY CHANCES.
A COLD SNAP COULD
KILL BROCCOLI FASTER
THAN YOU CAN SAY
"ROTTED CHICKEN MANURE."
BLAIR! WE WERE JUST
TALKING ABOUT YOU.
OH, I DON'T MEAN...
I MEAN BEFORE.
WE WERE WORRIED.
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED?
UH... NOTHING.
MARSHALL HAD
TROUBLE WITH THE CAR.
IT STALLED, AND WE
WEREN'T NEAR A PHONE,
SO WE WALKED HOME.
WHERE'S MARSHALL?
UH... HE'S GETTING
THE CAR STARTED.
YOU MUST BE FREEZING.
COULD YOU MAKE
SOME HOT CHOCOLATE?
SURE. COMING RIGHT UP.
THANKS A LOT.
YOU WERE IN AN ACCIDENT.
NO.
MARSHALL WAS DRIVING AND DRUNK!
JO, DON'T YELL.
MY KNEE WON'T STOP SHAKING.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT HAPPENED?
WE KNOCKED DOWN A TREE.
A SMALL TREE.
MARSHALL WAS GOING TOO FAST.
HE RAN A RED LIGHT.
YELLOW!
IT WAS RED!
AND THEN I SCREAMED.
YOU SCREAMED.
THEN WE SLID OFF THE ROAD.
WHY WON'T MY KNEE STOP SHAKING?
NAT, JUST TAKE IT EASY.
WE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED.
BLAIR, PLEASE.
I GOT THE FENDER PRIED AWAY.
ARE YOU OK?
YOU COVERED YOUR CUT.
I FOUND MOM'S FIRST AID KIT.
I STILL DON'T KNOW
HOW IT HAPPENED.
THEY SHOULD HAVE WARNING LIGHTS.
IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT.
THAT WAS NO ACCIDENT, TOOTIE.
THAT WAS FIVE BEERS!
NATALIE.
SOMETHING AWFUL HAPPENED.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE!
I KNOW, BUT IT'S OVER NOW!
IS IT?
HE'S DRIVING OFF
TO ANOTHER PARTY.
NO, I'M NOT.
HONEST!
I'M GOING BACK TO
THE MOTEL... SLOWLY.
MARSHALL!
DID YOU GET THE CAR STARTED?
WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEAD?
HE BUMPED IT ON THE CAR HOOD.
RIGHT. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
I'D BETTER GO.
I'LL DROP BY TOMORROW.
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME HOT CHOCOLATE?
NO, THANKS. I'M DRIVING.
GOOD NIGHT, ALL.
GOOD NIGHT, SIS.
GET SOME SLEEP.
UM... I THINK I'LL TAKE
MY CHOCOLATE UPSTAIRS.
MY FEET ARE COLD.
ME, TOO.
WAIT, I'LL GO WITH YOU.
JO, HOW SWEET.
BUT REALLY, I'M
FEELING BETTER NOW.
I WANT THE BLANKET
FOR MY BROCCOLI.
GOOD NIGHT, MRS. GARRETT.
TOOTIE, LET'S TALK.
I'M REALLY KIND OF TIRED.
YOU CAN SLEEP LATE TOMORROW.
YOU WANT TO TELL ME
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED?
I TOLD YOU.
I KNOW YOU DID.
BUT I'VE ALSO WATCHED
THE LOOKS FLYING AROUND.
THERE WAS AN
ACCIDENT, WASN'T THERE?
THE ROADS ARE REALLY SLIPPERY.
THERE SHOULD BE A WARNING...
MARSHALL WAS
DRINKING, WASN'T HE?
NO!
HE HAD FEW A BEERS,
BUT HE WASN'T DRUNK.
OH, TOOTIE, PLEASE.
I SAW MARSHALL.
I KNOW THAT LOOK.
UNFORTUNATELY, I'M AN EXPERT.
MY EX-HUSBAND WAS
NEVER DRUNK EITHER.
MRS. GARRETT, IT WAS JUST BEER.
JUST BEER?
BEER ISN'T ALCOHOL?
HOW MANY TIMES
HAVE I HEARD THAT ONE?
WHAT RIGHT DID MARSHALL
HAVE TO RISK YOUR LIVES
OR THE LIVES OF ANYONE
ON THAT HIGHWAY?
YOU COULD HAVE CALLED
ME FOR A RIDE HOME.
HE WASN'T DRUNK, OK?
ANYWAY, IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT.
YOU WERE IN THE
MIDDLE OF DALLAS.
IT'S YOUR PARENTS' CAR.
THEY'VE GOT A RIGHT TO KNOW.
ARE YOU CRAZY?
MY DAD'S VERY STRICT.
IF HE FINDS OUT, HE
WON'T LET MARSHALL
TAKE THE CAR TO
FLORIDA ON SPRING BREAK.
WORSE THINGS COULD HAPPEN.
YEAH, LIKE WHAT?
COME ON NOW, TOOTIE.
YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THAT.
I KNOW YOU WORSHIP YOUR BROTHER.
IF YOU LOVE HIM,
YOU'VE GOT TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.
YOU MAY BE SAVING HIS LIFE.
MARSHALL! MARSHALL, IT'S TOOTIE!
OK, TOOTIE.
BE RIGHT THERE.
I WAS ASLEEP.
INTERESTING PAJAMAS.
I MUST HAVE FALLEN
RIGHT INTO BED LAST NIGHT.
YOU SAID YOU WERE
COMING BY TODAY.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
11:15.
I TOOK A BUS OVER.
THIS ROOM REALLY SMELLS AWFUL.
LET'S GET SOME AIR IN HERE.
YOU SOUND MORE
LIKE MOM EVERY DAY.
TOOTIE, WHY ARE
YOU MAKING MY BED?
THIS IS A MOTEL.
THEY DO IT FOR YOU.
MARSHALL, I GOT TO TALK TO YOU.
UM... I WAS UP ALL
NIGHT THINKING.
YOU HAVE TO TELL MOM AND DAD.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
DAD WILL GO INTO ORBIT.
I'LL FIX THE CAR
AND TELL HIM LATER...
LIKE 1996.
I KNOW DAD'S TOUGH,
BUT HE'S FAIR, TOO.
IT'S JUST WRONG NOT TO TELL HIM.
IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.
WHY NOT?
WELL... A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO,
I GOT A D.U.I.
THE POLICE CALLED MOM AND DAD.
D.U.I.?
"DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE."
OH, MARSHALL!
I DON'T WANT ANOTHER LECTURE...
"I'M A MENACE, A
TICKING TIME BOMB.
A CAR'S A DEADLY WEAPON."
BEER'S HERE!
AH, HI, TOOTIE.
HI, PAUL.
YOU MISSED A GREAT
PARTY LAST NIGHT.
I DID?
LIVE MUSIC... START
LOADING THE CAR.
I'LL BE OUT SOON.
RIGHT.
RADIO SAYS IT'S
SNOWING IN PLACID.
HEY, HEY, HEY.
BYE, TOOTIE.
GOOD-BYE, PAUL.
THAT BEER IS NOT FOR THE ROAD.
THE LODGE CHARGES
AN ARM AND A LEG.
I CAN'T SKI WITHOUT LEGS.
YOU WENT TO THAT PARTY
LAST NIGHT, DIDN'T YOU?
FOR A WHILE.
YOU GOT DRUNK.
I'M NEVER DRUNK ON BEER.
YOU WERE LAST NIGHT!
SOBER PEOPLE DON'T
GO THROUGH RED LIGHTS!
IT WAS YELLOW.
IT WAS RED!
OK, ORANGE.
WE ALL COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!
TOOTIE... I'M SORRY
ABOUT LAST NIGHT.
YOU KNOW I WOULDN'T
DO ANYTHING TO HURT YOU.
I KNOW THAT.
BUT LAST NIGHT YOU DIDN'T
KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING.
YOU WERE CHUG-A-LUGGING
LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
TELL MOM AND DAD WHAT HAPPENED.
I CAN'T! THEY'LL
WORRY WHEN I DRIVE.
I'M TOO YOUNG TO WORRY
ABOUT YOU ALL ALONE.
I'M SORRY, TOOTIE.
I'M NOT CALLING THEM.
THEN I WILL.
I WILL, MARSHALL, RIGHT NOW.
HELLO?
I'D LIKE TO MAKE A COLLECT
CALL TO WASHINGTON, D.C.
IT'S TO MR. HARRISON RAMSEY.
AREA CODE 202, 555-8051.
YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪
♪ YOU TAKE 'EM BOTH
AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THERE'S A TIME YOU
GOTTA GO AND SHOW ♪
♪ YOU'RE GROWIN'
NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ WHEN THE WORLD NEVER SEEMS ♪
♪ TO BE LIVIN' UP
TO YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY
YOU'RE FINDIN' OUT ♪
♪ THE FACTS OF
LIFE ARE ALL ABOUT ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ IT TAKES A LOT
TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LEARNIN'
THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪
♪ LEARNIN' THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪♪
IT MUST BE ZERO OUTSIDE!
IF YOU'RE WAITING
FOR MARSHALL OUTSIDE,
PUT ON A COAT.
NAT.
PUT ON A COAT!
I'M TOO EXCITED TO CATCH COLD.
TRANSLATION... SHE'D
RATHER GET PNEUMONIA
THAN COVER UP THAT SWEATER.
HE'S TAKING TIME
FROM SKIING TO VISIT ME.
BROTHERS CAN BE SO LOVING.
I WONDER HOW MUCH
MONEY HE WANTS TO BORROW.
I KNOW YOU'RE KIDDING.
YOU ARE KIDDING?
OF COURSE I AM.
WOULD I SAY ANYTHING
NEGATIVE ABOUT MARSHALL?
FASTER SKIER THAN
JEAN-CLAUDE KILLY.
MORE POWERFUL STUDENT
THAN ALBERT EINSTEIN.
LOOK! UP IN THE SKY!
IT'S SUPERBROTHER!
I ALMOST FORGOT THE
HAT AND SCARF HE GAVE ME.
NAT, HE'S DRIVING
DAD'S STATION WAGON.
SCREAM IF YOU SEE HIM.
I ALWAYS SCREAM AT MARSHALL.
BE RIGHT BACK.
GUESS WHAT WE JUST DUG UP?
YOUR FACE?
IT'S A BOK CHOY.
CHINESE CABBAGE.
WELL... E-I-E-I-O.
HEY, IT'S HER FIRST
BLOOMING MIRACLE.
SHE'S GOT A RIGHT TO BE EXCITED.
WHAT A KICK.
PLANTING THOSE LITTLE SEEDS
AND WATERING THEM.
THEN SUDDENLY, LITTLE GREEN
SHOOTS BREAK THROUGH THE SOIL.
AND THEY GET
BIGGER AND LEAFIER...
IT WAS ALL RIGHT, I GUESS.
IT'S HIM! MARSHALL'S
FINALLY HERE!
TOOTIE, MARSHALL'S HERE!
IT'S A SHAME TOOTIE HAS
NO USE FOR HER BROTHER.
I WONDER IF I MISSED OUT
NOT HAVING A BROTHER.
NAH.
IMAGINE DEALING WITH A
BOY AS GOOD LOOKING AS ME.
HEY, GUYS. GUESS WHO'S HERE.
MARSHALL, HELLO.
HI.
WHAT A SURPRISE!
MARSHALL THE MAGNIFICENT.
NATALIE THE PERCEPTIVE.
HOW ARE YOU?
FINE. I MISSED YOU.
MRS. GARRETT, YOU
LOOK WONDERFUL.
WELL, THANK YOU.
WANT TO SEE MY BOK CHOY?
THE OTHER ONE CROAKED.
OH, MARSHALL.
CONGRATULATIONS ON
YOUR PHI BETA KAPPA KEY.
THANKS. HOW'D YOU
KNOW ABOUT THAT?
OH, MY PUBLIC RELATIONS FIRM.
OK, I MIGHT'VE
MENTIONED IT A FEW TIMES.
WITH A BULLHORN.
MARSHALL, I
TIGHTENED THE SKI RACK.
HELLO!
HI, I'M MARSHALL'S ROOMMATE.
PAUL WALSH, MEET TOOTIE, MY SIS.
HER FRIENDS, MRS.
GARRETT, NATALIE, AND JO...
I'M BLAIR WARNER.
YOU SURE ARE.
IS IT OK THAT MARSHALL
STAYS FOR DINNER?
AND PAUL?
SURE. AND AS A SPECIAL TREAT,
WE'LL STEAM UP JO'S BOK CHOY.
NOBODY COOKS THAT!
I'M PUTTING THAT
IN MY SCRAPBOOK!
TOOTIE, DINNER SOUNDS NICE,
BUT WE'VE GOT
OTHER PLANS TONIGHT.
A FEW OF US SKIERS
ARE HAVING A PARTY.
OH?
DON'T POUT ON ME.
YOU'RE INCLUDED IN THE PLANS.
YOU'RE INVITING
ME TO YOUR PARTY?
YOU'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
YOU'RE GROWN-UP NOW.
YOU'RE ALL INVITED.
WHOA!
CONSIDER THAT MY RSVP.
HELP YOURSELVES TO MORE PIZZA.
TOOTIE, GRAB ME ANOTHER BREW.
YOU'RE NOT FINISHED
WITH THAT BREW.
I'M ALWAYS PLANNING AHEAD.
REMEMBER WHEN DAD
CAUGHT YOU DRINKING BEER?
YOU WERE 15.
HE GOT THE STRAP OUT,
AND I STARTED CRYING.
YOU WOULDN'T STOP,
SO I ONLY GOT LECTURED.
SHE'S BEEN MY LUCKY
CHARM EVER SINCE.
SO, YOUR DAD'S WARNER TEXTILES.
HE'S BEEN ON MY BACK FOR YEARS.
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
MY DAD'S WACCO.
HE IS?
WALSH COMMUNICATIONS COMPANY.
OH.
YOU'RE IN NEWSPAPERS.
AND RADIO AND TV.
DAD PLANS TO START ME
MANAGING A RADIO STATION,
THEN UP TO TELEVISION.
EVENTUALLY, I'LL TAKE
OVER HIS CABLE OPERATION.
YOUR DAD'S SMART,
LETTING YOU MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN.
SO, TELL ME MORE ABOUT
JOURNALISM SCHOOL, GEORGE.
NATALIE, JUST GET READY
TO STRETCH YOUR MIND.
UNDERSTAND?
RIGHT. I'LL GET IT IN SHAPE.
YOU MUST WRITE
BENEATH THE SURFACE.
LOOK FOR DEPTH.
WE'RE TALKING SUBTEXT.
EXACTLY.
LIKE J.D. SALINGER DID
IN CATCHER IN THE RYE
BEFORE HE GOT
INTELLECTUALLY CONSTIPATED.
YEAH.
POOR GUY.
HEY! JO'S HERE!
SHE'S PARKING HER BIKE.
NO BETTER TIME TO
PLAY KAMIKAZE QUIZ.
ALL RIGHT! I LOVE QUIZ GAMES!
WHEN SOMEONE
NEW ASKS A QUESTION,
EVERYBODY TAKES A DRINK.
WHEN THEY SAY "WHY,"
EVERYBODY HAS TO CHUG-A-LUG.
NEAT! MY FIRST
COLLEGE DRINKING GAME.
IS DIET ROOT BEER OK?
SURE.
HERE SHE COMES. DON'T TELL HER.
HEY, EVERYBODY, THIS IS JO.
JO, THIS IS EVERYBODY.
HI. ANY PIZZA LEFT?
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
NOTHING. WE'RE IN A GOOD MOOD.
THERE'S THE PIZZA.
GREAT. WHAT KIND IS IT?
IS THERE SOMETHING
WEIRD ON THIS?
OF COURSE NOT.
WHY IS EVERYONE LAUGHING?
WHY?
I CAN'T STAND IT.
I'M TELLING HER.
THEY'RE PLAYING KAMIKAZE QUIZ.
WHENEVER YOU ASK A QUESTION,
THEY TAKE A DRINK.
WHEN YOU ASKED WHY,
WE HAD TO CHUG-A-LUG.
SHE'S NOT ALWAYS A
FUN-LOVING PERSON.
HEY, GEORGIE, TOSS
ME ONE OF THOSE.
IF YOU KNEW HOW
REFRESHING IT WAS
TO DISCUSS LITERATURE
WITH A COLLEGE MAN...
AND ANOTHER THING
I'M GOING TO DO
WHEN I TAKE OVER PROGRAMMING.
I'LL GET SOMEONE BIG...
LIKE... ORSON WELLES.
HE'S BIG.
I'LL SIT HIM ON A STOOL...
BETTER MAKE THAT TWO STOOLS.
TURN THE CAMERA ON AND
HAVE HIM READ MOBY DICK
PAGE BY PAGE.
THERE'S ANOTHER PARTY
IN A MOTEL IN YORKTOWN,
AND THEY'VE GOT MUSIC!
SO HOW ABOUT IT, TOOTIE?
IT SOUNDS GREAT,
BUT I PROMISED MRS. GARRETT
WE'D BE BACK BY 10:00.
I DON'T GET TO DANCE
WITH MY SISTER?
OK.
ANOTHER TIME.
I'LL DRIVE YOU HOME.
LADIES, MY COACH AWAITS.
UH... MARSHALL.
THERE'S ONE THING I'VE
ALWAYS WANTED TO DO...
DRIVE A STATION WAGON.
UH... WHY DON'T YOU
GIVE ME THE KEYS?
I TOOK PSYCH.
YOU THINK I'M TOO
BOMBED TO DRIVE.
YOU COULD'VE SKIPPED PSYCH
AND FIGURED THAT OUT.
I DO NOT GET DRUNK ON BEER.
I'M RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH
TO KNOW WHEN TO DRIVE.
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
YOU'RE EMBARRASSING MY BROTHER
IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS.
START THE CAR.
WE'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
YOU WON'T DRINK
WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING?
YOU THINK I'M CRAZY?
IF YOU'LL FEEL SAFER,
I'LL BE GLAD TO DRIVE.
THANKS, PAUL, BUT
MARSHALL WILL BE FINE.
GOOD, 'CAUSE I
DON'T FEEL SO WELL.
WHY DIDN'T I LEAVE WITH JO?
I COULD HAVE HAD A SAFE RIDE
ON HER FILTHY BIKE.
WHY DID JO LEAVE SO QUICKLY?
'CAUSE SHE'S SMART.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW
TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
LIKE GEORGE?
GUYS, MARSHALL'S
NEVER HAD AN ACCIDENT.
DON'T WORRY.
WHO'S WORRIED? WE
JUST... NEED EXERCISE.
BLAIR, WANT TO WALK?
SURE. TO A TAXI.
YOU'RE RUINING MARSHALL'S VISIT!
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE MY FRIENDS.
TOOTIE, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
MARSHALL'S BEEN DRINKING.
HE'S DRUNK!
MY BROTHER KNOWS
WHEN HE'S OK TO DRIVE.
ARE YOU COMING?
COME ON.
THEY LEFT AN HOUR AGO?
GEORGE, CONCENTRATE AND
REMEMBER THESE FOUR WORDS.
JO CALLED. PHONE HOME.
WERE THEY STILL THERE?
UH... THEY JUST LEFT.
THEY SHOULD BE HOME ANY TIME.
IT'S NOT LIKE TOOTIE TO
BE LATE AND NOT CALL.
SHE'S SO FLIPPED
OUT OVER MARSHALL,
SHE PROBABLY FORGOT.
YES. THEY'RE WITH MARSHALL.
THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
HERE'S THE WOOL BLANKET.
THAT SOLAR GREENHOUSE
SHOULD BE WARM ENOUGH.
CAN'T TAKE ANY CHANCES.
A COLD SNAP COULD
KILL BROCCOLI FASTER
THAN YOU CAN SAY
"ROTTED CHICKEN MANURE."
BLAIR! WE WERE JUST
TALKING ABOUT YOU.
OH, I DON'T MEAN...
I MEAN BEFORE.
WE WERE WORRIED.
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED?
UH... NOTHING.
MARSHALL HAD
TROUBLE WITH THE CAR.
IT STALLED, AND WE
WEREN'T NEAR A PHONE,
SO WE WALKED HOME.
WHERE'S MARSHALL?
UH... HE'S GETTING
THE CAR STARTED.
YOU MUST BE FREEZING.
COULD YOU MAKE
SOME HOT CHOCOLATE?
SURE. COMING RIGHT UP.
THANKS A LOT.
YOU WERE IN AN ACCIDENT.
NO.
MARSHALL WAS DRIVING AND DRUNK!
JO, DON'T YELL.
MY KNEE WON'T STOP SHAKING.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT HAPPENED?
WE KNOCKED DOWN A TREE.
A SMALL TREE.
MARSHALL WAS GOING TOO FAST.
HE RAN A RED LIGHT.
YELLOW!
IT WAS RED!
AND THEN I SCREAMED.
YOU SCREAMED.
THEN WE SLID OFF THE ROAD.
WHY WON'T MY KNEE STOP SHAKING?
NAT, JUST TAKE IT EASY.
WE COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED.
BLAIR, PLEASE.
I GOT THE FENDER PRIED AWAY.
ARE YOU OK?
YOU COVERED YOUR CUT.
I FOUND MOM'S FIRST AID KIT.
I STILL DON'T KNOW
HOW IT HAPPENED.
THEY SHOULD HAVE WARNING LIGHTS.
IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT.
THAT WAS NO ACCIDENT, TOOTIE.
THAT WAS FIVE BEERS!
NATALIE.
SOMETHING AWFUL HAPPENED.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE!
I KNOW, BUT IT'S OVER NOW!
IS IT?
HE'S DRIVING OFF
TO ANOTHER PARTY.
NO, I'M NOT.
HONEST!
I'M GOING BACK TO
THE MOTEL... SLOWLY.
MARSHALL!
DID YOU GET THE CAR STARTED?
WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEAD?
HE BUMPED IT ON THE CAR HOOD.
RIGHT. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
I'D BETTER GO.
I'LL DROP BY TOMORROW.
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME HOT CHOCOLATE?
NO, THANKS. I'M DRIVING.
GOOD NIGHT, ALL.
GOOD NIGHT, SIS.
GET SOME SLEEP.
UM... I THINK I'LL TAKE
MY CHOCOLATE UPSTAIRS.
MY FEET ARE COLD.
ME, TOO.
WAIT, I'LL GO WITH YOU.
JO, HOW SWEET.
BUT REALLY, I'M
FEELING BETTER NOW.
I WANT THE BLANKET
FOR MY BROCCOLI.
GOOD NIGHT, MRS. GARRETT.
TOOTIE, LET'S TALK.
I'M REALLY KIND OF TIRED.
YOU CAN SLEEP LATE TOMORROW.
YOU WANT TO TELL ME
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED?
I TOLD YOU.
I KNOW YOU DID.
BUT I'VE ALSO WATCHED
THE LOOKS FLYING AROUND.
THERE WAS AN
ACCIDENT, WASN'T THERE?
THE ROADS ARE REALLY SLIPPERY.
THERE SHOULD BE A WARNING...
MARSHALL WAS
DRINKING, WASN'T HE?
NO!
HE HAD FEW A BEERS,
BUT HE WASN'T DRUNK.
OH, TOOTIE, PLEASE.
I SAW MARSHALL.
I KNOW THAT LOOK.
UNFORTUNATELY, I'M AN EXPERT.
MY EX-HUSBAND WAS
NEVER DRUNK EITHER.
MRS. GARRETT, IT WAS JUST BEER.
JUST BEER?
BEER ISN'T ALCOHOL?
HOW MANY TIMES
HAVE I HEARD THAT ONE?
WHAT RIGHT DID MARSHALL
HAVE TO RISK YOUR LIVES
OR THE LIVES OF ANYONE
ON THAT HIGHWAY?
YOU COULD HAVE CALLED
ME FOR A RIDE HOME.
HE WASN'T DRUNK, OK?
ANYWAY, IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT.
YOU WERE IN THE
MIDDLE OF DALLAS.
IT'S YOUR PARENTS' CAR.
THEY'VE GOT A RIGHT TO KNOW.
ARE YOU CRAZY?
MY DAD'S VERY STRICT.
IF HE FINDS OUT, HE
WON'T LET MARSHALL
TAKE THE CAR TO
FLORIDA ON SPRING BREAK.
WORSE THINGS COULD HAPPEN.
YEAH, LIKE WHAT?
COME ON NOW, TOOTIE.
YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THAT.
I KNOW YOU WORSHIP YOUR BROTHER.
IF YOU LOVE HIM,
YOU'VE GOT TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.
YOU MAY BE SAVING HIS LIFE.
MARSHALL! MARSHALL, IT'S TOOTIE!
OK, TOOTIE.
BE RIGHT THERE.
I WAS ASLEEP.
INTERESTING PAJAMAS.
I MUST HAVE FALLEN
RIGHT INTO BED LAST NIGHT.
YOU SAID YOU WERE
COMING BY TODAY.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
11:15.
I TOOK A BUS OVER.
THIS ROOM REALLY SMELLS AWFUL.
LET'S GET SOME AIR IN HERE.
YOU SOUND MORE
LIKE MOM EVERY DAY.
TOOTIE, WHY ARE
YOU MAKING MY BED?
THIS IS A MOTEL.
THEY DO IT FOR YOU.
MARSHALL, I GOT TO TALK TO YOU.
UM... I WAS UP ALL
NIGHT THINKING.
YOU HAVE TO TELL MOM AND DAD.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
DAD WILL GO INTO ORBIT.
I'LL FIX THE CAR
AND TELL HIM LATER...
LIKE 1996.
I KNOW DAD'S TOUGH,
BUT HE'S FAIR, TOO.
IT'S JUST WRONG NOT TO TELL HIM.
IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.
WHY NOT?
WELL... A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO,
I GOT A D.U.I.
THE POLICE CALLED MOM AND DAD.
D.U.I.?
"DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE."
OH, MARSHALL!
I DON'T WANT ANOTHER LECTURE...
"I'M A MENACE, A
TICKING TIME BOMB.
A CAR'S A DEADLY WEAPON."
BEER'S HERE!
AH, HI, TOOTIE.
HI, PAUL.
YOU MISSED A GREAT
PARTY LAST NIGHT.
I DID?
LIVE MUSIC... START
LOADING THE CAR.
I'LL BE OUT SOON.
RIGHT.
RADIO SAYS IT'S
SNOWING IN PLACID.
HEY, HEY, HEY.
BYE, TOOTIE.
GOOD-BYE, PAUL.
THAT BEER IS NOT FOR THE ROAD.
THE LODGE CHARGES
AN ARM AND A LEG.
I CAN'T SKI WITHOUT LEGS.
YOU WENT TO THAT PARTY
LAST NIGHT, DIDN'T YOU?
FOR A WHILE.
YOU GOT DRUNK.
I'M NEVER DRUNK ON BEER.
YOU WERE LAST NIGHT!
SOBER PEOPLE DON'T
GO THROUGH RED LIGHTS!
IT WAS YELLOW.
IT WAS RED!
OK, ORANGE.
WE ALL COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!
TOOTIE... I'M SORRY
ABOUT LAST NIGHT.
YOU KNOW I WOULDN'T
DO ANYTHING TO HURT YOU.
I KNOW THAT.
BUT LAST NIGHT YOU DIDN'T
KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING.
YOU WERE CHUG-A-LUGGING
LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
TELL MOM AND DAD WHAT HAPPENED.
I CAN'T! THEY'LL
WORRY WHEN I DRIVE.
I'M TOO YOUNG TO WORRY
ABOUT YOU ALL ALONE.
I'M SORRY, TOOTIE.
I'M NOT CALLING THEM.
THEN I WILL.
I WILL, MARSHALL, RIGHT NOW.
HELLO?
I'D LIKE TO MAKE A COLLECT
CALL TO WASHINGTON, D.C.
IT'S TO MR. HARRISON RAMSEY.
AREA CODE 202, 555-8051.