The End of the F***ing World (2017–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Episode #2.3 - full transcript

After an awkward encounter at the cafe, Alyssa wakes up on her big day with nagging doubts about what she wants from life.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
Why is it the more you have to say,
the harder it is to speak?

Should take a shower.

Yeah.

My heart's beating in my face.

Here you go.

Thanks.

Who is he?

That's James.

Oh, wow.

I'm going to finish cashing up.

DOOR CLOSES



Have you been following me?

Yes.

Did you get one of these?

Shit.

Is that what you came here
to tell me?

Er... Yeah.

That's it?

Well, don't you think
it's a bit sinister?

Not really.

It's probably some dickhead
we went to school with.

You shouldn't have come here, James.

He looks old.

What's wrong with your leg?

Nothing.



It's just a bit stiff.

Right.

My dad's dead.

Shit.

Sorry.

I'm getting married tomorrow.

I know.

Congratulations.

Is it bad that it's nice to see him?

Yeah, you can't drive that.

I'll get Eric
to sort you out tomorrow.

Thanks.

Where are you staying?
We'll give you a lift.

Oh, no. It's fine.

I can walk.

Are you living in your car?

Yeah.

He can stay in the cabin.

Toilet's through there.

Is there a shower?

There's a lake.

Thank you.

PHONE CHIMES

Eric says he'll drop your car off
tomorrow afternoon.

Is there a cash machine nearby?

Don't worry about it.

I'll be outside.

I'd invite you to the wedding, but
that would probably be a bit weird.

Yeah.

Bye.

Bye.

James?

Yeah?

Tomorrow, when the car's fixed,
you will leave, won't you?

Er... Yeah.

You shouldn't have come here.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about your dad.

# If I should leave you

# Try to remember the good times

# Warm days filled with sunshine

# And just a little bit of rain

# And just a little bit of rain... #

I definitely preferred being shot.

# And if you look back... #

I feel weird.

Really weird.

# Try to forget the bad times

# Lonely, blue and sad times

# And just a little bit of rain. #

HORN HONKS

Oh, my God!

Jesus!

Do you like it?

Sometimes, you can choose
to not be a dick.

Yes. Thank you.

At first, it felt nice,
just being near Alyssa again,

despite the circumstances.

But that feeling didn't last.

Mainly because the circumstances

were her getting married
to someone else.

I am so proud of you!

It's like being a pony at a show.

Am I making a mistake?

What? What are you talking about?!

Nothing.

Everyone probably has doubts
right now.

I think that's normal.

Good afternoon
and warm welcome to you all...

Do you take Todd Alan King
to be your lawful wedded husband?

I can't believe I didn't know
his middle name was Alan.

What's that, then?

It's my dad.

Do you not have a truck?

No.

Do you want a lift somewhere?

Nah, you're all right.

# Love, won't you listen

# To my heart? #

TYRES SCREECH

# Darling, can you hear it

# Beating hard?

# Gonna walk you down... #

Hey.

Let's get out of here.

OK.

# One more time

# Cos you're not the kind to rely on

# I gave you my love
but you threw it away. #

# I like potato
Wanna mash my potato

# Won't you mash your potato
with me?

# I like potatoes
Wanna mash up potatoes

# Will you mash my potatoes for me?

# I like potatoes
Gonna mash up potatoes

# If you don't like my mash,
then I'll see you later

# I like potatoes, won't you
mash your potatoes with me? #

How was the wedding?

Yeah, it was fine.

That's... That's good.

I was waiting for the right moment
to tell Alyssa I loved her.

What?

Nothing.

I decided to bide my time.

How long have you been
living in here?

A couple of months?

Yeah, smells like it.

# I like potatoes
Wanna mash my potatoes

# Won't you mash your potatoes
with me?

# I like potatoes
Wanna mash our potatoes

# Will you mash my potatoes
for me? #

So, where we going?

What?

Where do you want to go?
I dunno, I just wanted to leave.

What happened? Look, can we not?
I don't want to talk about it, OK?

Being shit runs in my family.
It's in my blood...

..which means I can't help it.

What are you going to do
with your dad?

Are you going to scatter him, or
just carry him round like a mascot?

I'm going to scatter him.

Where?

I had no idea.

It's private.

Are you cold?

No.

Are you hungry?

Not really.

I am.

Fine.

Congratulations.

What?

Happy wedding.

We're not married.

What?

We've actually been to a funeral.

Oh...

Sorry.

I just thought I'd get
a bit more wear out of this.

Right.

I'll give you a couple of minutes.

Alyssa was different.

What the fuck am I doing here?

It was like someone
had taken her batteries out.

Alyssa...

Yeah?

The letter I sent you...

I'm sorry.

What letter?

When I realised
she might not have got it,

it felt like a weight had been
lifted from my chest.

Oh, yeah. That.

Which seemed much heavier
when it was put back.

I'm really, really sorry.

It was ages ago.

I can't even remember what it said.

"Dear Alyssa,

"'I don't want to see you again,
ever.

"Because of you, I killed someone.

"I can't ever take that back
and it's made me hate you.

"So, whatever you feel about me,

"you should know
that I don't feel it in return.

"Please leave me alone.

"Sincerely, James. PS..."

"..good luck with everything."

Yep.

Do you maybe want to take that out?

No.

"Because of you, I killed someone."

SHE CRIES OUT

"I can't ever take that back
and it's made me hate you."

I'm sorry.

It's fine.

Shut up.

Shall we go?

We need to pay.

I know.

Shall we still go?

You know, if you do a runner,

the waiter or waitress
usually has to pay out of the tips?

Um, no, I didn't know that.

Yeah, that's true.
We're held responsible.

Right.

OK.

Were you not going to pay?

Er...no.

No, of course we were.

Keep the change.

Alyssa...

Alyssa.

Alyssa! What?!

I just had to say it.
There would never be a right time.

What?

I love you.

I don't want to be here.

I love you.

I don't want to be anywhere.

I love you.

I think we should go back.
This is stupid.

W-Wait...what?

Well, what are we doing, James?
Where are we even going?

I don't know. You came to me.

I didn't come to you, you came
to me. You were stalking me.

I was not stalking you,
I was watching you.

That's still weird!

But you said you wanted to leave.

Well, now I want to go back!

Why?

Because I am married!

W-What?

You did it?

I do.

Yes!

Alyssa, wait! Oh, for fuck's sake!

No! No!

Hey! Stop!

Hey!

Brilliant.

Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no, no!

Look, I know it was your home,
or whatever,

but you don't need to cry about it.
It's just been towed.

What's wrong with you?

It's my dad.

Oh, yeah.

Shit.

I am actually a bit cold now.

Thanks.

What if they've got rid of him?

Come on.

400 plus VAT.

What?! Shouldn't have parked it
where you did. I don't understand.

There wasn't a sign or anything.
Yeah, there will have been a sign.

There wasn't a sign.
There's always a sign.

There fucking wasn't!

Maybe you need glasses.

Maybe you need a better job!

I'm sorry.

Look, we just got married.

We're saving up for a honeymoon,
we don't have a lot of money.

Can you let it go,
just this one time?

It's cash only.

Please, can I just get my dad?

What? He's dead. He's in the car.

I d-don't mean his body. His ashes.
His ashes are in the car.

Look, we'll come back with
the money, I promise.

But, for now, can I just get him?

He's in the car?

Yeah. So he's safe.

Well, yeah. So, when you come back
with the money...

..he'll be there.
No, you-you don't understand.

Please! James, it's cool.

We'll come back.
What time do you close?

Five.

OK. Come on.

I don't have 400 plus VAT.
Neither do I.

Then what are we going to do?

We're going to wait
till five o'clock.

How did he die, your dad?

Heart attack.

Bad diet, no exercise.

Shit.

It's probably how I'll go.

Why did you get married?

Because I wanted to.

OK.

Because I thought I wanted to.

Because I had to do SOMETHING...

..so I did that.

Wake me up when it's time.

OK.

On paper,
things looked quite bleak for me.

I was a homeless orphan on the run
with a married woman.

But, no matter how bad life got...

..there was always something good.

You had to focus on the good.

# Won't you stay a while?

# Come sit next to me

# On the silver lane

# In the lost city

# Feel the solar rays... #

WHISPERS: I love you.

What?

I said, it's time, let's go.

WHISPERS: James!
Shit!

They don't even have security. He's
just put on a jacket. What do we do?

Come on!

TV PLAYS

# I'm the walking dead... #

Oh, thank God!

# Walking to your door

# Yes, I'm the walking dead

# Just a few steps more... #

Sorry.

It's OK.

I can't cut those ones. We'll
have to drive through them.

What?! Yeah.

ENGINE STRUGGLES AND STARTS

What the fuck, James?! I didn't
want to make too much noise.

Oi! Oh, what?! Not to disturb him?!
Yeah, nice one!

# Yeah! #

REVS ENGINE

TYRES SCREECH

THEY LAUGH

For a moment, it was like old times.

Do you still want to go back?

Alyssa? We should stop.

What? The hitchhiker.
She's a woman, she's on her own.

What if some weirdo picks her up?

Yeah. OK.

You all right?

Hi.