The End of the F***ing World (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript

Alyssa's demand for sex in the car leads to James crashing it, leaving them stranded. They accept a lift from family man Martin but when Alyssa catches him touching James up she blackmails ...

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Things didn't always go entirely
to plan on my journey with Alyssa.

Do you think it's gonna explode?

It's not a film.

If this was a film,
we'd probably be American.



I kept wondering what sort
of sound she'd make when I killed her.

I needed to find somewhere quiet.

Guess what freedom smells like?

-Cow shit.

-Seat belt.
-Fuck seat belts.

So what do you wanna do?

I dunno.

Because we can literally do anything,

Anything we want.

Gun! Gun! Gun!

I was not in my element.

Come on!

This is shit!

Sometimes, I look at him
and I think, "Are you a bit dead?"

Put your tongue in my ear.

-I like it.

Right, stop that now.


Alyssa was really good
at annoying people.

Thank God I smashed my phone.

I bet my mum's been calling nonstop.
Stupid bitch.

How long till your dad calls the police?


About the car.

He won't.


He'll think I'm coming home soon.

And he's a prick and everything,
but he's pretty optimistic.



I like food.


My mum says
that if food were her boyfriend,

she'd be in an abusive relationship.

She says it like it's a joke,
but it's not.


Did you bring money with you?

Didn't you?

Yeah. I just spent it at Laserkill.

That was all your money.

I didn't have to pay for you.
I was being fucking polite, actually.

What are we going to do?

Well, it's just food.

And we haven't eaten all of it.
You haven't.

The only rule with these things

is that you never steal from a small
or independent business.

-Whose rule is that?
-My dad's.

He's basically Robin Hood.

He breaks the law,
but he's really moral.

"If it's a chain, it's free rein."

-Say it.
-"If it's a chain, it's free rein."

There you go. Otherwise,
you're basically funding terrorism.

-Places like this are all run by the Man.
-What man?

"The Man" man.

The Man who, you know, owns all the oil,

forces Chinese children
to make smartphones and hates Palestine.

Are you gonna be a pussy?

Showing willing was
the best approach with Alyssa.



Nice one.

-Seat belt!
-Fuck seat belts.

I had her
right where I wanted her.

We should have sex.

-What, now?

Take your top off.

Erm, OK...

I had to go along with it.


-Should we stop?

Keep driving.

But I wasn't sure sex was
something you could just go along with,

especially not as a man.

It's OK for women.

They can just lie back,
think of England.

Us men, we have to be England.

Stop! I think I'm stuck.


Why are you laughing?

My dad loves this car.

It's the most expensive thing
he's ever bought.

What the fuck
are we gonna do now?

Do you think it's gonna explode?

It's not a film.

Come on.

-Where are you going?
-Well, we can't drive it, can we?

I might be able to fix it.
We can't just leave it.

Do you reckon you can still fix it?

What should we do?

Go home.

Do you wanna go home?

Hang on.
Does he want to go home?

You saying you wanna go home?

'Cause that's fine, can if you want.

-No, I don't want to. I was just asking...
-I don't wanna go home, James.

-I don't want to go home.

-So what do you want to do?
-I don't know!

Why don't you fucking think
of something for once?

I couldn't have done it there.

The car would've linked me to the crime.

♪ Walking all day
with my mouth on fire ♪

♪ Trying to get talking to you ♪

♪ Walking all day
with my mouth on fire ♪

♪ That's what I've gotta do ♪

♪ Trying to get talking to you ♪

♪ Walking all day
with my feet on fire ♪

♪ Trying to get closer to you ♪

♪ Walking all day with my feet on fire ♪

♪ That's what I've gotta do ♪

♪ Trying to get closer to you ♪

Why is no one stopping?

because you've got your tits out.

I'm serious. No one stops for weirdos
except other weirdos.

And you look like a proper day release.

You all right?


I'm heading down south, son,
if it's any good to you.

Do you want a lift or not?

Yeah. Thanks.

Come on, then.

Come on.

Come on!

I am gonna be so fucked off
if we get murdered.

I can't believe
he got in the front.

Grab us that sweater in the back, there,
love. Chuck it down to your boyfriend.

Who said he's my boyfriend?

Alyssa was starting
to test my patience.

Are you all right, love?

Is she all right, son?

She's fine.

You're funny, you. I like you.

-That your dog?
-Nearly, I'm buying her.

-She's cute, though, ain't she?

Not for long, mind.

She's a cane corso.

What's that?

Number 23 on the Top 25
Most Dangerous Dog List.

For fighting.

-They expensive?
-Just a bit.

You know your car smells like feet.

One of the lads had a couple,
in Fallujah.

-They're lethal, I tell ya.
-You were in the army?

Five year.


So tell me, then,
what you two been up to, eh?

Come on, I ain't gonna say anything.
What's the matter with ya?

Well, we haven't done anything.


I couldn't give a fuck either way, I'm...

I'm just making conversation, you know?
I'm not a fucking copper.

I just thought, you know, you...

You might wanna make
a phone call to your mum or something.

Let her know you're OK.

My mum's dead, actually.

I thought you said your mum was
in Japan?


So it's a bit different
from being dead, isn't it?

This guy's a prick.


He's, like,
the worst kind of person.

He's all right.

Why are you defending him?
He's a murderer.

-He was in the army.

He's murdered people.

And now he's buying a dog
to murder other dogs with.

Here you go.



Is that your family?

That's the missus, Liz.


That's Baby Jack.

Jack looks like a potato.

You what, love?



He looks like a ham.

He does, though, doesn't he?


You guys are so fucking boring.


Don't be daft, son.

She's a bit full-on, ain't she? The bird.

Oh... Yeah, she can be.


That's women, eh?



What was it like?

In the army.

Ah, it was all right, you know.

Did you kill people?

It's part of the job, son.

How many?

Well, be a bit sick
to keep count, wouldn't it?

I'd have definitely kept count.

-I'm gonna go to the...
-Oh, yeah, sure.

-Sure, sure.

I say, son.

I might as well join you.
Put one in the bag, you know.

I'm bad
at apologizing to people,

but sometimes I know I should.

What happened to your hand?

Sometimes, I just...

let things happen.

Even though I didn't want them to.

I'm not sure why.

What's going on?

Are you gay?


-It's OK if you are.
-I'm not.

-But you should tell me if you are.
-I'm not gay.

So what are you doing?

Where do you think you're going?

Well, I... gotta go.

The dog's not gonna collect herself,
now is she?

Gimme your wallet.

You what?

Give me your wallet.

No. No...

Give me your wallet or I swear to fuck

I'll go visit Liz and Abi
and your weird potato baby,

and tell them what you like to do
with teenage boys in toilets.

You wouldn't do that.

I'll tell the police, too.

He put my hand there.

You know that if people wanna do stuff
to you, you don't have to let them.


Do you?


So why did you?

Did something bad happen to you
when you were small?


I'm tired.

-A double room?

A double room with a double bed
for double sex.

I really need to cry.

-Do you wanna watch TV?

Find some porn.

Are you ready
to answer the big question?

Where are you going?


♪ Suddenly it's there ♪

♪ On a Saturday night ♪

♪ When you're feeling alive and calm ♪

♪ And all the children inside ♪

♪ Meet before the sun ♪


♪ To keep them warm and dry ♪

You all right?

I'm going to the vending machine.




Is that you, Alyssa?

It is you, innit?

Can I speak to my mum?

She doesn't wanna speak to you.

Mmm. It's good.

-Can I turn it off?

I can't go home. Like, ever.

-You can.
-I don't want to.

Do you want me?


Do you want me,
or do you just go along with things?

I want you.

I'm gonna go to my dad's.
You can come if you want.




Will you cuddle me?

♪ Give ♪

♪ Me all your love now ♪

♪ 'Cause for all we know ♪

♪ We might be dead by tomorrow ♪

♪ I can't ♪

♪ Go on wasting the time ♪

♪ Adding scars to my heart ♪

♪ 'Cause all I hear is,
"I'm not ready enough" ♪

Police, please.

♪ And I can tell that you didn't have ♪

♪ To face your mother
losing her lover ♪

♪ Without saying goodbye ♪

♪ Without saying goodbye ♪

♪ 'Cause she didn't have time ♪