The End of the F***ing World (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript

Alyssa is teen angst personified. She feels estranged from her mother, hates her stepfather and rejects pretty much everyone she meets - until one day she sees James sitting alone.

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[nostalgic pop music]
[James] I'm James.
I'm 17.
And I'm pretty sure I'm a psychopath.
[music builds]
♪ I'm laughing on the outside ♪
♪ Crying on the inside ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm so in love ♪
♪ With you ♪
[James] I was eight when I realized
I didn't have a sense of humor.
[man] Why doesn't the Queen wave
with this hand?
Eh? Why doesn't the Queen wave
with this hand?
'Cause it's my hand!
I'd always wanted to punch
my dad in the face.
♪ Laughing on the outside ♪
When I was nine,
he bought a deep-fat fryer.
He saw it
on an American shopping channel.
One day, I put my hand in it.
[sizzling]
I wanted to make myself feel something.
When I was 15,
I put my neighbor's cat in a box
and took it into the woods.
It probably had a name.
[cat meows]
[knife slices]
After that, I killed more animals.
[gunshots]
And I remember every single one.
[thunderclap]
♪ Laughing on the outside ♪
♪ Crying on the inside ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm so in love ♪
♪ With you ♪
[James] School was beneath me,
but it was a good place
for observation and selection
because I had a plan.
I was gonna kill something bigger,
much bigger.
[music stops]
Hey.
I've seen you skating.
You're pretty shit.
Fuck off.
[Alyssa] I get these moments
when I have to lie down
because everything feels,
sort of, too much.
[birds tweet]
And I look up and see the blue
or the grey or the black
and I feel myself melting into it.
And for, like, a split second,
I feel free
and happy.
Innocent.
Like a dog.
Or an alien.
Or a baby.
[baby cries]
[woman whispers]
Your presence is required, young lady.
Why are you talking
like Downton Abbey?
Just get inside and help.
[gentle acoustic music]
[Alyssa] My mum used to be nice,
but then she divorced my dad
and met...
Tony.
Last week, he said he thought
I needed a bigger bra.
So I threw a Chicken Kiev at his head.
Mum pretended
that she hadn't heard him.
Now she has the perfect house
and the perfect garden
in the perfect neighborhood...
with perfect twins.
Well...
their heads do smell nice, though.
It's true.
[door slams]
I haven't see my dad since I was eight.
He never fitted in. He couldn't settle.
So he had to leave.
I don't blame him.
But he sends me a card, without fail,
every single birthday.
[electric guitar rendition
of "Happy Birthday"]
I understand, actually.
I don't trust people who fit in.
[frantic typing]
[phone buzzes]
[typing continues]
Is this from you?
What?
-What the fuck?
-What?
I'm here. I'm literally here.
[scoffs] It's free.
[smash]
[acoustic guitar solo]
[upbeat rock music]
♪ I've got so angry lately ♪
♪ Don't know what's wrong with me ♪
[Alyssa] I'm not saying he's the answer,
but he's something.
♪ It's been so weird lately ♪
♪ Don't know what's wrong with me ♪
♪ Found you staring at the... ♪
[music stops]
Hey.
Hey.
I've seen you skating.
[Alyssa] I haven't.
You're pretty shit.
Fuck off.
[James] Alyssa was new.
She'd started that term.
I thought
she could be interesting to kill.
[bell rings]
[doo-wop]
♪ Never fall in love again, no, no ♪
♪ Never fall in love again, no, no,
never fall in love again ♪
♪ No, no, never fall in love again,
no, no... ♪
Are you waiting for me?
[James] So I pretended
to fall in love with her.
What happened to your hand?
Shut up.
♪ I'll never fall in love again ♪
♪ I lost my one and only... ♪
I haven't got a phone.
OK.
I smashed it.
OK.
Like, on purpose.
OK.
So you can't call me.
OK.
I don't have a phone either.
-Really?
-Yeah.
I hate them.
[James] I knew that people in love
went out on dates.
Do you wanna go on a date?
With me.
[gentle guitar chord]
[James] She said yes.
Hi, what can I get for you today?
Is this true?
"One of the top 10 greatest
American dining experiences"?
Yeah!
I can take your orders.
-Uh--
-I will have a...
banana split with extra cherries.
Mm-hmm.
Some blueberry pancakes.
Mm-hmm.
And a hot chocolate with cream.
[giggles] You're hungry!
[giggles insincerely]
And an extra fucking spoon.
-Excuse me?
-For him.
Sorry. You can't use language like that,
otherwise I'm gonna have to ask you
and your boyfriend to leave.
[mocking] OK.
[sincere] OK, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
[Alyssa sighs]
I will have...
a great big banana shit
with extra fucking cherries
all on top of it.
OK, sorry, that's it. Right.
[shouts] Marvin!
Oh, yeah! Go get Marvin!
See if Marvin can make a banana split
for me, you fucking cunt!
[shouts] Bye, Marvin!
[door slams]
[James] It seemed that Alyssa had
some issues.
[birds tweet]
[distant church bell]
I think we live in the most boring town
on the planet.
Yeah, maybe.
Everyone's so fucking square.
Well, they've got money. They feel safe.
Are you boring, too?
No.
She's the only cool person in this town.
-Her?
-Yeah. She's done stuff.
She was probably a spy
and had, like, 15 abortions
when it was illegal or something.
She's lived.
Really?
Whatever.
Can we go to your house?
[menacing thud]
[screech]
[birds tweet]
Yeah, sure.
[footsteps leave]
Why do you live in such a weird house?
I don't know.
There's too many windows.
Maybe.
[bird caws]
[menacing rumble]
[door closes loudly]
[silence]
[gentle acoustic guitar]
Is that your mum?
Yeah.
She lives in Japan.
Cool. You look like her.
[James gulps] [music stops]
-This is pretty retro.
-I don't like it.
Why not?
[menacing rumble]
I just don't.
[James] Alyssa was kind of
a nymphomaniac.
[crack]
What?
Huh?
[door opens]
Oh, no.
[door slams]
[man] The hunter has returned!
Cheers!
Well, this is nice.
What is?
This. You two. Eh?
[laughs] What a relief!
I tell you what. I've never been sure
if he even, you know...
I always thought there was
something wrong with him!
[James] I actually masturbated
once a week for medical purposes.
I knew it wasn't good
to let things build up.
I thought probably he was gay.
Which is... That's fine. Like...
Obviously.
But, uh, here you are.
Maybe I'm gay.
Maybe he's asexual.
We're dealing with a really broad spectrum
these days.
[distant bark]
Your dad's a prick.
Yeah, I know.
Sometimes, I feel like punching him
in the face.
You should definitely do that.
Have you ever eaten a pussy before?
[James] It was important to be confident
in moments like this.
Yeah. A few.
I want you to eat mine.
Now?
Tomorrow.
I'll be here at 11.
[dissonant resonance]
[James] I was ready at 11.
Actually, I was ready at ten.
It was important to work out
the exact logistics beforehand.
When it got to 12, I started to think
she might not be coming.
[clock ticking]
[Alyssa] Sometimes,
I worry that I ruin things.
[hard rock]
[silence]
But I feel... I dunno.
I feel comfortable with him.
Sort of safe.
-Lyssa. Alyssa.
-What?
Put these on and come downstairs.
-What?
-The party.
No way, I told you. I'm going out.
[whispers] I am not having
this argument again, Alyssa.
Mum, there's no way!
Please, love. I want you to be there.
For me.
[country pop]
[laughter and chatter]
♪ Here I go,
falling down, down, down... ♪
Right. Those aren't for you.
Hand them round.
Hiya!
♪ I go deep into the funnel of love ♪
[music stops]
-All right?
-Go away.
Here.
Have a beer.
Chill out.
Thanks, Tone.
This is a load of bullshit.
Your life is bullshit.
Oh, well, if you hate it so much...
leave.
I'm serious.
Do us all a favor.
[laughs nastily]
You look good when you make an effort,
don't you?
[soft rock]
♪ I learned the truth at 17 ♪
♪ That love was meant
for beauty queens ♪
♪ And high-school girls
with clear-skinned smiles... ♪
[Alyssa] Sometimes, everything is
suddenly really simple.
It's like everything shifts
in a moment.
And you step out of your body,
out of your life.
You step out and you see where you are
really clearly.
You see yourself.
And you think...
Fuck. This. Shit.
♪ And those of us with ravaged faces ♪
♪ Lacking in the social graces ♪
♪ Desperately remained at home ♪
♪ Inventing lovers on the phone ♪
[music stops] James!
[barking]
[Alyssa] I think being angry and sad
at the same time really turns me on.
[screech]
[Alyssa sighs]
Come here.
[Alyssa] I think I could fall
in love with him.
Also...
he has a car.
[James] I wondered if it'd be easier
to slit her throat if I flipped her round.
Whether it would be better
not to see her face,
but then, the angle.
It was a conundrum.
-What?
-Let's get out of here.
-What?
-I'm serious.
Let's leave this shithole town. Now.
You hate it. I hate it.
Our parents are dickheads.
You've got a car.
-It's my dad's.
-Who's a dickhead.
I'm going, whether you come with me
or not. Are you in?
[Alyssa] Please say yes.
[James] I figured...
I wasn't in a rush.
Yeah, all right.
[bass guitar]
[indie pop]
♪ Superboy, Supergirl ♪
♪ Oh, I've got a question
for your Superworld ♪
♪ What gets you through? ♪
♪ And who gets your past? ♪
[James] I didn't know where we were going,
or when I was gonna kill her,
but I punched my dad in the face
and stole his car.
And that felt like a good place to start.
♪ Who you are ♪
♪ Well, it can't be the same ♪
♪ 'Cause I hear
you're from outer space ♪
♪ Pretty far ♪
♪ And Superboy's got his problems
and girl's got her hang-ups ♪
♪ And I know
that it can't be easy to be... ♪
[music fades into background]
Are you scared?
I dunno.
A bit, maybe.
I'm not.
[James] She probably should have been.
[car revs and tires screech]
[indie pop continues]
♪ I said,
"Please don't let them get you down ♪
♪ 'Cause you're the only superhero ♪
♪ In our town" ♪
♪ I said, "Please don't let them ♪
♪ Get you down ♪
♪ 'Cause you're the only superheroes ♪
♪ In our town" ♪
♪ I said, "Please don't let them... ♪