The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 2, Episode 3 - Ramon's a Crowd/Guakumentary - full transcript

CONGRATS.

YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE
THE MOST PERFECT EPISODE
OF MY SHOW EVER.

IT IS 100% FLAWLESS
IN EVERY DETAIL.

SCREEN MUSIC.
I MEAN THEME MU--

[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE
THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪



YOU KNOW,
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪

EXACTLY!

LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN
HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY TO STOP HIM
OR TOP HIM ♪

TO DESTROY HIM, RIGHT?
UH...

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO, GO!

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪

♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪

♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪



♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪

♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT
THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DISNEY ABC CABLE NETWORKS GROUP

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

HEY, YOU. NEW KID?

THAT'S, UH,
MY LOCKER.

SO, HOW ABOUT
WE DO A LITTLE
SCOOCH-Y SCOOCH-Y.

M'KAY?

ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING
TO COUNT TO 3.

1, 2, 3.

OK, NOW I'M GOING
TO COUNT TO 5--

OK, UH,
YOU KNOW WHAT?

I NEVER USE MY LOCKER
ANYWAY. HA HA.

IN FACT, I COMMAND
YOU TO STAY RIGHT THERE.

GOOD, YOU'RE
FINALLY LISTENING.

[YELLS]

WHO...PUT...

THESE...STAIRS...
HERE?

[SPLASH]

NO PROBLEM.

I WAS GOING TO HANG OUT
IN THIS FOUNTAIN ANYWAY.

[BANGING]

CLASS, THOUGH IT MEANS
ANOTHER STUDENT TO TEACH,

BUT NO INCREASE
OF PAY FOR ME,

TODAY WE WELCOME
A FOREIGN EXCHANGE STUDENT.

NOW, IT'S IMPORTANT
TO RESPECT PEOPLE'S
DIFFERENCES,

SO I DON'T WANT
ANYONE TEASING HIM

ABOUT HIS SILLY ACCENT
OR RIDICULOUS CUSTOMS.

PLEASE SAY
HELLO TO RAMÓN.

PLEASED TO MEET YOU,
SEÑOR MOLEGUACO.

YOUR BUENO REPUTATION
IS KNOWN THE WORLD OVER.

ALLOW ME TO PRESENT
YOU WITH THIS,

A MUG HAND-CARVED
BY THE FINEST CRAFTSMEN
IN MY HOME VILLAGE.

WHY, THANK YOU, RAMÓN.

INDEED, PLEASE TAKE
ANY SEAT YOU LIKE.

PFFT, THIS GUY'S
NOT SO TOUGH.

OHH, I'M RAMÓN,
I'M A BIG KISS-UP,

AND I'M FREAKISHLY
GOOD LOOKING.

HA HA.

VAMANOS.

HA HA. YOUR LOSS.
YOU GET THE LOSER CHAIR
BY MALINA,

WHILE I GET
THE COOL CHAIR

BEHIND SMELLY OLD
GUACA HERE.

I HAVEN'T SHOWERED
SINCE THAT TIME
YOU SHOOK MY HAND.

COME IN, RAMÓN.

AH, BUENOS DIAS,
PRINCIPAL AMZY.

I AM HONORED TO MAKE
THE ACQUAINTANCE

OF SUCH
A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

CUT THE ACT, RAMÓN.

MY SOURCES TELL ME
YOU'RE A DEVIOUS,
2-FACED BULLY.

NO, SEÑORA, I SWEAR.

WHICH IS WHY I WANT
YOU TO BE THE NEW
ASSISTANT TO ME--

YZMA!

[YELLS]

PRINCIPAL AMZY,

WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL ME YOU WERE YZMA?

THAT'S SOMETHING
I SHOULD KNOW
AS YOUR ASSISTANT.

NO, KRONK.
YOU DON'T GET IT.

I'VE GROWN TIRED OF
YOUR CONSTANT FAILURES.

SO RAMÓN IS
THE NEW ASSISTANT.

HA! THANKS,
BUT I DON'T NEED
AN ASSISTANT.

I'VE GOT
A DAY PLANNER.

PRETTY MUCH TAKES
CARE OF EVERYTHING,

APPOINTMENTS
AND SUCH.

I AM FLATTERED
BY YOUR INTEREST, SEÑORA.

BUT WHAT IS
IN IT FOR RAMÓN?

YOU'LL HAVE FULL ACCESS
TO AN ENTIRE LAB OF
EVIL POTIONS AND MACHINES.

I'M LISTENING.

HA HA. PLUS I'LL
THROW IN FREE MARACAS.

[RATTLING]

DONE.

HA. MAYBE I DO
NEED AN ASSISTANT.

MY FILES ARE
ALL OVER THE PLACE.

NO, KRONK.
YOU ARE FIRED!

HA HA.
DON'T BEAT AROUND
THE BUSH, YZMA.

WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO SAY?

COME ON, RAMÓN.
TO THE SECRET LAB.

PULL THE LEVER, RAMÓN.

OH...

KAY.

WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST
MEET THEM DOWN THERE.

Announcer:
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE
OUR 1 BILLIONTH RIDERS!

[YELLING]

WHOO!

YEE-HAH!

♪ 99 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS
TO THE LAB ♪

♪ 99 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS ♪

♪ AROUND AROUND,
ANOTHER ONE DOWN ♪

♪ 98 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS
TO THE LAB ♪

LISTEN CAREFULLY,
RAMÓN.

FIRST, YOU BEFRIEND
KUZCO BY MAKING HIM

A KILLER DANCE
PARTY MIX DISC.

THEN YOU TAKE HIM TO THE
BIG SCORPION RODEO,

WHICH IS IN TOWN
FOR ONE WEEK ONLY.

NEXT, YOU FIND BIG EARL,
THE MIGHTIEST SCORPION
OF THEM ALL,

AND SLIP HIM
SOME HORSERADISH.

MAKE HIM REALLY ANGRY,
HA HA HA!

SCORPIONS HATE
HORSERADISH.

FINALLY, WHEN THE RODEO
STARTS, YOU PUSH KUZCO
INTO THE RING

AND WATCH BIG EARL
DEVOUR HIM WHOLE!

[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

IT'S BRILLIANT!

RIGHT?

SÍ, SEÑORA.

THE BRILLIANCE OF
YOUR PLAN OUTSHINES
A BOTTLE OF LLAMA MILK.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS,
BUT I LOVE IT.

NOW, GO,
AND LET NOTHING
STAND IN YOUR WAY.

AFTER LUNCH,
OF COURSE.
FINE.

BUT CLOCK OUT.

I AM NOT PAYING
YOU TO SIT AROUND.

OK, I'M HERE.
WHAT'S THE PLAN?

HELLO?

HELLO?

♪ 99 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS
TO CLIMB UP ♪

♪ 99 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[SQUEALING]

SO, RAMÓN...

IS IT TRUE
THAT SPANISH MEN

ARE WELL VERSED
IN THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE?

SÍ.

WE CALL IT AMOR.

[GASPING]

HEARING YOU A-SWOON
LIKE THAT MAKES
MY HEART JUMP

LIKE A WATERMELON.

[GASPS]

JUMP LIKE A WATERMELON?

THAT DOESN'T
EVEN MAKE SENSE.

WHAT DOES EVERYBODY
SEE IN THIS GERMAN GUY?

KUZCO, I DON'T
THINK HE'S GERM--

I MEAN HE'S JUST
A SUPER MYSTERIOUS HUNK
WITH A COOL ACCENT.

PLUS, JUDGING BY HIS
PERFECTLY SCULPTED BODY,

THIS GUY WORKS OUT
WAY TOO MUCH.

UH, WHAT HAPPENED
TO RESPECTING OTHERS'
DIFFERENCES?

LOOKS LIKE CUXI'S
RESPECTING HIS DIFFERENCES
A LITTLE TOO MUCH.

YEAH, I GUESS SOME
GIRLS ARE JUST SUCKERS

FOR THE WHOLE
REBEL THING.

LUCKILY,
I'M ABOVE ALL THAT--

[ENGINE REVVING]

[GASPS]

HE'S GOT
A CART-CYCLE?

THAT IS SO HOT.

WHATEVER.
I CAN BE A REBEL, TOO.

LIKE ON MY WAY
TO SCHOOL THIS MORNING,

I SAW A TURTLE
ON ITS BACK,

AND I DIDN'T
TURN IT OVER.

KUZCO, THAT'S AWFUL.

OOH, THERE'S AN EMPTY
SEAT NEXT TO RAMÓN.

THAT'S PRIME
REAL ESTATE!

YZMA REPLACED
ME WITH RAMÓN!

I THINK.
SHE WAS KIND OF
CRYPTIC ABOUT IT.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
WHO CARES ABOUT THAT?

I AM GETTING SHOWN UP.

BY RAMÓN.

ARE YOU THINKING
WHAT I'M THINKING?

NO.

TO THE NOT-SO-SECRET
LAB!

PULL THE LEVER, KUZCO!

[GRUNTING]

YOU KNOW, I'LL LET
YOU DO IT THIS TIME.

[GASPS]

THE FIST!
CLASSIC.

[SIGHS]

HMM.

WHAT SHOULD WE
DO WITH RAMÓN?

I KNOW!

FIRST, WE'LL INVITE
HIM TO AN ELEGANT DINNER.

THEN, WE'LL SERVE HIM MY
IRRESISTIBLE SPINACH PUFFS

FOLLOWED BY A MAIN COURSE
OF GRILLED AHI TUNA.

FINALLY, A DELECTABLE
CHOCOLATE SOUFFLÉ
FOR DESSERT.

SO, INSTEAD OF
GETTING RID OF RAMÓN,

YOU WANT TO SPEND
SEVERAL HOURS COOKING
HIM A DELICIOUS DINNER?

YES!

WHY DON'T
I JUST TAKE HIM TO
THE BIG SCORPION RODEO

AND PUSH HIM
INTO THE RING?

WELL, SURE.
IF YOU WANT TO GO
THE OBVIOUS ROUTE.

HOLA, KUZCO.

AYE, AYE, AYE!

I COME TO YOU
WITH A HEAVY HEART,

AS I FEAR WE HAVE GOTTEN
OFF ON THE WRONG ARM.

TO MAKE AMENDS,

I'VE MADE YOU THIS
KILLER DANCE PARTY MIX DISC.

OH.

UH, HEY,
NO HARM DONE, BUDDY.

IN FACT,
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN
NICER TO THE NEW KID.

PERHAPS WE SHOULD CEMENT
OUR UNDULATING FRIENDSHIP

BY ATTENDING A LARGE,
UPCOMING SOCIAL EVENT?

WHAT A COINCIDENCE.

I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE
2 TICKETS TO THE--

Announcer:
BIG SCORPION RODEO!

ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE.

37-B, 37-B. AAH!

WELL, THIS IS
GOING TO BE AWKWARD.

KRONK, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?

JUST, YOU KNOW,
COMING TO SEE THE RODEO.

YIPPI-KAY-YAY.
ALL THAT.

GOOD, GOOD. ME TOO.

[BIRD SQUAWKING]

AHH.
SO...

YOU LOOK GOOD.

THANKS, I GOT
AN AB-SLAPPER.

IT SHOWS.

WELL, AMIGO.
IT SEEMS WE HAVE SOME
TIME BEFORE THE RODEO.

SO, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I MUST USE THE--

HOW DO YOU SAY?
PINEAPPLE?

UH, YOU MEAN
"BATHROOM."

AH. YES, SORRY.

THE WORDS ARE VERY
SIMILAR IN MY LANGUAGE.

OK, YOU GO DO THAT.

I'M GOING TO, UH,
GET SOME FOOD...

THINGS.

AH, BIG EARL.

THIS BOTTLE
OF HORSERADISH

IS SURE TO PUT
A FIRE IN YOUR BELLY.

[BUBBLING]

[LAUGHING]

SOME HORSERADISH
SHOULD GET YOU

IN THE MOOD
FOR PINCHY PINCHY.

[LAUGHING]

AND THEN REMEMBER
WHEN YOU ACCIDENTALLY
TOOK THAT SKUNK POTION?

[BOTH LAUGHING]

I ALMOST FORGOT
ABOUT THAT.

BOY, DID
THAT PLAN REEK.

[LAUGHS]

AHH, GOOD TIMES,
GOOD TIMES.

Announcer:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER

FOR THE MEANEST SCORPION
IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD,

BIG EARL!

[GROWLS]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]

[YELLING]

COME, KUZCO.

THE VIEWS
ARE MUCH BETTER

WHEN YOU LEAN IN CLOSE
LIKE THIS.

I BET I CAN LEAN
FURTHER THAN YOU.

Both: GOTCHA!

[BOTH SCREAM]

[ROARS]

EEK!
EEK!

[ROARS]

OK, YOU PICKED
THE WRONG MUCHACHO
TO MESS WITH,

FOOLISH SCORPION.

FOR I AM
A CHAMPION MATADOR!

OLÉ!

[GROWLING]

TOUCHÉ.

[ROARING]

HA!

[WHIMPERING]

WE SHOULD COME
TO THESE THINGS
MORE OFTEN.

YEAH,
IT'S NICE TO GET
AWAY FROM THE OFFICE.

EXACTLY.

YOU NEED A BALANCE
IN YOUR LIFE.

WE'RE GOING TO NEED
TO WORK TOGETHER.

I'LL GET ON
YOUR SHOULDERS
AND PULL MYSELF OUT,

THEN I'LL PULL
YOU UP AFTER ME.

WHEN PUERCOS
FLY YOU WILL.

YOU'LL JUST
LEAVE ME HERE.

[ROARS]

OOH, FINE.

GET ON MY PERFECTLY
DEFINED SHOULDERS.

[GROWLING]

AAH!

AAH!

HA HA HA! EW!
HE'S ALL SCALEY.

HOORAY, I'M SAFE!

HMM, GOOD THINGS DO
HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

[RAMÓN SCREAMS]

AY, CARAMBA!
SOMEBODY SAVE ME!

[SCREAMING]

KUZCO, YOU
HAVE TO GO HELP
THAT GERMAN GUY.

DON'T HATE HIM
JUST 'CAUSE
HE'S DIFFERENT.

NO WAY, LEAVE HIM.
HE'S TOTALLY RUINING
YOUR GROOVE.

WAIT A SECOND.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO TELL ME THE RIGHT
THING TO DO,

AND YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO TELL ME
THE WRONG THING.

YEAH, WE'RE TRYIN'
SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
SPICING THINGS UP.

OOH, SPEAKING OF WHICH,
WE ARE LATE FOR OUR
SALSA CLASS.

[RAMÓN SCREAMS]

OH, PLEASE,
SEÑOR SCORPION,

DO NOT STING MY BEAUTIFUL,
CHISELED BODY.

AAH! MY BEAUTIFUL,
CHISELED BODY!

[BIG EARL GROWLING]

THANKS--AHEM.

I MEAN, UM,
GRACIAS, AMIGO.

NO PROBLEMO,
FRAULEIN.

I REALIZED I SHOULD HAVE
RESPECTED OUR DIFFERENCES

INSTEAD OF, YOU KNOW,
LEAVING YOU TO BE DEVOURED
BY A GIANT SCORPION.

WELL, I OWE YOU ONE.

BUT ONLY ONE.

SO, RAMÓN.

HERE'S THE THING,

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO
LET YOU GO, DARLING.

YOU SCREWED UP
THE ONLY TASK
I EVER GAVE YOU.

AND FRANKLY,
I'VE ALREADY GOT

KRONK HERE TO
DO THAT FOR ME.

[GASPS]

DOES THAT MEAN
I'M BACK IN?

YES, AT HALF THE PAY.

HUZZAH!

NOW IT'S TIME FOR...

MARACAS!

CHA-CHA-CHA-CHA
CHA-CHA-CHA-CHA
CHA-CHA-CHA!

AND THE MOSTY AWARD
FOR MOST POPULAR GOES TO...

KUZCO!
[APPLAUSE]

ME?

AW. WHERE'S MY PRIZES?

GIMME, GIMME, GIMME.

YOU'VE WON
A BRAND NEW CART!

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]

AND THE MOSTY AWARDS
HOME EDITION.

AND YOU ALSO
WIN A MODEL.

OR YOU CAN
TRADE IT ALL IN

FOR WHAT'S IN
THE BASKET!

Kronk: OOH, THE BASKET.
TAKE THE BASKET!

KRONK, DON'T INTERRUPT
MY MOSTY AWARDS FANTASY.

I WON MOST POPULAR
AND THE MODEL.

HUH?

AND YOU ARE...?

WHAT? OH, THIS?

I'M SHOOTING
TO WIN A MOSTY

FOR THE MOST TASTY
SPINACH PUFFS.

TO WIN A MOSTY...
IS THE MOSTY.

THIS GETS ME
INTO CHARACTER.

FOR...?

THEY'RE SPANISH
SPINACH PUFFS,

OR RATHER,
SPAIN-ACH PUFFS.

OLÉ!
[CLICKING]

HA HA.
I'M A SHOO-IN.

NOT LIKE YOU.
MOST POPULAR?

NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

WHY NOT?

TURN AROUND.

YOU'RE NOT POPULAR.

OK, TURN BACK.

I, UH, COULDN'T
TELL IT TO YOUR FACE.

WELL, I CAN.

KUZCO,
YOU'RE NOT POPULAR.

WHAT?
OF COURSE I AM.

WATCH.
HEY, EVERYBODY!

WHO'S THE MOST POPULAR?

MALINA.
MALINA.

MALINA.
MALINA.

All: MALINA.

I LIKE YOU, SIR.

THAT'S ONE.

OUT OF 500.

FACE IT, KUZCO.

WE'RE NOT LIVING
IN ONE OF YOUR
GAME SHOW FANTASIES.

TAKE THE BASKET.

DON'T LISTEN
TO KRONK AND MALINA!

[ECHOING]
DON'T LISTEN
TO KRONK AND MALINA!

YOU ARE
THE MOST POPULAR.

[ECHOING] YOU ARE
THE MOST POPULAR.

KNEW IT.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

ARE YOU EXPLOITING
ECHO CLIFF

JUST TO HEAR WHAT
YOU WANT TO HEAR?
MAYBE.

I KNOW, ISN'T
ECHO CLIFF THE BEST?

YO-YO-YO-YODEL
AY-HEE-HOO!

[ECHOING]
YO-YO-YO-YODEL
AY-HEE-HOO!

SWEET!

YO-YO-YO-YODEL
AY-HEE-HOO!

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

OH, JUST TOSSIN' OUT
A BUNCH OF CONTRAPTIONS

FROM YZMA'S SECRET
ROOM OF EVIL MACHINERY.

AAH! I MEAN CONTRAPTIONS...

NOT FROM YZMA'S SECRET
ROOM OF EVIL MACHINERY.

SHE DOESN'T HAVE
ONE OF THOSE.

AS FAR AS YOU KNOW.

OLÉ!

OK. WHAT'S
WRONG WITH THEM?

THEY'RE USELESS!

[ECHOING]
USELESS.

TELEPHONE,
MICROWAVE, INTERNET,
ALL COMPLETELY USELESS.

[CRASH]

WHAT ABOUT THAT?

AH, IT'S THE MOST
USELESS OF ALL.

THE YZMA CAM.

OOH, YZMA CAM.

WHAT'S IT DO?

Announcer:
NEWS OF THE WICKED.

PRESENTING THE YZMA CAM.

UTILIZING SECRET LAB'S
PATENTED YZMA RAYS,

THE YZMA CAM STEALS
YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL.

[SCREECHING]

YES, IT'S BRILLIANT!
BRILLIANT! BRILLIANT!

THAT'S IT, I'LL
STEAL THEIR SOULS

IF THEY DON'T
VOTE FOR ME.

NOPE. SORRY, YOU CAN'T.

IT, UH, DIDN'T WORK.

IT'S JUST A MOVIE CAMERA.

MOVIE CAMERA?
PERFECT.

JUST WHAT I NEED
TO REMIND EVERYONE
WHO'S MOST POPULAR.

HOLA, IT'S MY MOVIE
ABOUT ME.

DID YOU GET THAT,
UM, GUAVA?

GUACA, SIR.

I--I THINK SO.

I'M SO EXCITED
TO BE YOUR DIRECTOR,

IT'S HARD
TO KEEP STEADY.

AW, POOR WITTLE FELLA.

YEAH, LET'S STOP THE WORLD
SPINNING JUST FOR YOU.

WE'RE LOSING DAYLIGHT,
TIME IS MONEY.

COME ON, GRUNT.

GUACA, SIR.

WHOA, IS THAT
THE YZMA CAM?

YOU KNOW, IT DOESN'T
ACTUALLY STEAL SOULS.

WAIT, YOU'RE MAKING
A MOVIE TO DRUM UP
VOTES FOR MOST POPULAR?

AND I'M
THE DIRECTOR.

DIRECTOR, CAMERA STAND,
SAME DIFF.

AND I'M NOT
DRUMMING UP VOTES.

I'M ALREADY MOST POPULAR.
I'M JUST REMINDING PEOPLE.

HERE, LET ME GET
A SHOT OF YOU SAYING
I'M GOING TO WIN.

FINE,
I'M GOING TO WIN.

NO, ME, KUZCO
IS GOING TO WIN.
SAY IT.

SORRY,
NO WAY I'M SAYING
YOU'RE GOING TO WIN.

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT.
WHY?

WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO?
NOT VOTE FOR ME?

TELL EVERYONE ELSE
TO NOT VOTE FOR ME, TOO?

GO AHEAD,
SEE IF I CARE.

WE GOT WHAT WE NEED.

LET'S GO
GET MORE MEAT.

YOU GOT IT, SIR.

WHOA!

SEE, POPULAR STUDENTS
CAN HANG WITH ANYBODY.

EVEN A TEACHER.
BOOM, BABY.

IT'S ME, KUZCO,
YOUR MOST POPULAR STUDENT.

SAY MY NAME.

THIS IS MY TIME.

YOU KNOW, YOU'VE GOT
A TOUGH JOB, MR. M.

I FEEL FOR YA.

EVERY DAY,
UP ON YOUR LITTLE BOX,

LOOKING OUT AT US,
THINKING,
"YOU'RE ALL SO STUPID."

NO, NO, NO.

THERE'S MORE TO TEACHING
THAN THAT, KUZCO.

FOR EXAMPLE--

CUT, GREAT, GOT IT.
MOVING ON.

YO, MATA?
WHO'S MR. POPULAR?

NOT YOU.

WELL, IT SURE AS HECK
AIN'T YOU, GRUMPY OLD COW.

NOW ALL WE NEED IS A SHOT
OF EVERYONE LOVING ME.

CAN WE TAKE
A BREAK, SIR?

I CAN'T
FEEL MY NECK.

DON'T WORRY, IT'S STILL
THERE, LITTLE BUDDY.

I'M...YOUR BUDDY?

LET'S DO THIS.

ACTION!

HOLA, EVERYBODY.

I LOVE YOU ALL.

HMM. INGRATES.

ATTENTION, EVERYONE.

THAT'S RIGHT,
I'M TALKING TO YOU.

FREE MONEY!

HURRAY FOR KUZCO!

HE'S MY FAVORITE!

KUZCO, KUZCO!

HEY!
AW!

THESE ARE
CHOCOLATE.

THAT'S A WRAP,
SIR.

COOL, I CAN HARDLY
WAIT TO SEE IT.

[BEEPS]

HOLA, IT'S MY MOVIE
ABOUT ME.

Announcer: IN A WORLD
OF UNPOPULARITY,

ONE MAN RISES ABOVE--
KUZCO!

HE CARES ABOUT HIS FRIENDS.

AW, POOR WITTLE
FELLA.

HE RESPECTS
HIS TEACHERS.

YOU KNOW, YOU'VE GOT
A TOUGH JOB, MR. M.
I FEEL FOR YA.

AND HE LOVES EVERYBODY.

HOLA, EVERYBODY.

I LOVE YOU ALL.

HOORAY FOR KUZCO!

HE'S MY FAVORITE!

KUZCO, KUZCO!

WHO'S MR. POPULAR?
KUZCO.

YOU'RE GONNA WIN.

POWERFUL.

I ALWAYS VOTE
FOR MYSELF ANYWAY,

BUT NOW I'M GOING
TO VOTE FOR MYSELF TWICE.

GOOD WORK, UH...GUIDO.

WOW! KUZCO
COMPLIMENTED MY WORK.

WE ARE BEST FRIENDS.

YOU LIKE
THE LLAMA-SINE?

I WAS AFRAID
YOU WOULDN'T COME.

AND MISS SEEING YOU
MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF?

NEVER.

JUST IN TIME,
GUYS.

COME ON,
I SAVED US SEATS.

UH, KUZCO?

JUST IGNORE HIM.

IT'S THAT CREEPY
CAMERA STAND BOY--
IGUANA.

HIS NAME IS GUACA.

DON'T' LOOK.
HE KEEPS FOLLOWING ME.

YEAH, 'CAUSE HE THINKS
YOU'RE BEST FRIENDS NOW.

HE'S BEEN
TELLING EVERYBODY.

FRIENDS?

I JUST NEEDED HIM
TO MAKE MY ME MOVIE.

[GASPS] KUZCO,
THAT'S HORRIBLE!

OH? THE TEST
AUDIENCE LOVED IT.

WAIT, SIR.
YOU FORGOT THE...

FILM.

[BEEPS]

HOLA, IT'S MY MOVIE
ABOUT ME.

HOLA, EVERYBODY!

YOU'RE ALL SO STUPID...

STUPID...STUPID.

THAT'S RIGHT,
I'M TALKIN' TO YOU.

GRUMPY OLD COW. INGRATES.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO,
NOT VOTE FOR ME?

TELL EVERYONE ELSE TO
NOT VOTE FOR ME, TOO?

GO AHEAD, SEE IF I CARE.

WHO'S MR. POPULAR?

NOT YOU.

[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

OOH,
I LIKE THE END.

WHY?
IT WAS THE END.

[WHISPERS]
Way to go, Guaca.

I DON'T KNOW.

DOESN'T HOLD UP
SO MUCH THE SECOND TIME.

IT CONFIRMED ALL
MY WORST SUSPICIONS.

I WAS GOING TO VOTE
KUZCO MOST POPULAR,

BUT NOW I'M NOT.

ME, TOO.

IT WAS TOO SLOW.

WHAT DO I THINK?

I THINK YOU
WANT A DELICIOUS
SPAIN-ACH PUFF.

HEH! VOTE KRONK.

THE YZMA CAM IS ACTUALLY
GOOD FOR SOMETHING?

HUH, WHO KNEW?

[BIRD WHISTLING]

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION,
SPAIN-ACH PUFFS.

GO ON, THEY'RE
MUY DELICIOSO
AND WORLD FAMOUS.

WELL, NOT QUITE
WORLD FAMOUS YET,

BUT THEY WILL BE
SOON AS THEY WIN
A MOSTY AWARD.

YOU'RE NOT
EVEN LISTENING.

HOW COULD
WHAT'S-HIS-FACE
TURN ON ME LIKE THAT?

I MEAN, I THOUGHT
HE THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.

WELL, THAT'S THE POINT.
YOU USED HIM.

NO ONE LIKES THAT.

POOR LITTLE GUY,
YOU TOTALLY HURT
HIS FEELINGS.

STEVE DOESN'T
HAVE FEELINGS.

HE HAS AN YZMA CAM
ON HIS HEAD.

[BIRD WHISTLING]

THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

YEAH, I KNOW.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

[MUNCHING]

WOW, THOSE ARE GOOD.

OLÉ.

THAT'S SPANISH
FOR "GOOD TASTE."

THIS IS SO UNEXPECTED.

IT'S JUST AN HONOR
TO BE NOMINATED WITH--

I'M PUFF KING
OF THE SPINACH WORLD!

[PANTING]

HI, MOM.

NEXT, THE BIG ONE.

THE KUZCO ACADEMY
MOSTY AWARD
FOR MOST POPULAR

GOES TO...MALINA.

REALLY?

I WON'T WITHOUT
EVEN TRYING? YES!

IT'S OFFICIAL.
LIFE ISN'T FAIR.

DID YOU HEAR?

THE ONLY OTHER PERSON
TO GET A VOTE WAS GUACA.

ONE VOTE.

BUT NO ONE
EVER VOTES FOR ME.

WHO WAS IT? WHO?

KUZCO?

BUT YOU ALWAYS
VOTE FOR YOU.

YOU MEAN YOU VOTED
FOR ME EVEN AFTER
I RUINED YOUR MOVIE?

YEAH, WELL,
DIRECTING IS HARD WORK.

ALMOST AS HARD
AS BEING A CAMERA STAND.

AND YOU'RE A GOOD SPORT.

THAT MAKES YOU
POPULAR IN MY BOOK.

I'M IN YOUR BOOK?

AWESOME! KUZCO RULES!

WHOA, HEY.
FIRST OF ALL,

IT'S NOT LIKE
YOU ACTUALLY WON ANYTHING,

AND SECONDLY,
NO TOUCHY.

GOOD ONE, SIR. HA!

YOU DON'T MIND
HELPING ME MOVE
NEXT WEEKEND, DO YOU?

THANKS!

YOU DIDN'T VOTE FOR ME?

I COULD HAVE HAD
A UNANIMOUS WIN,

EXCEPT FOR YOUR ONE VOTE.

I HAD TO DO RIGHT
BY WHAT'S-HIS-NAME.

ABOUT YAY TALL,
YOU KNOW?

WEARS A YZMA CAM.

YOU MEAN IGUANA?

HIS NAME IS GUACA.

YES. YES, IT IS.

YODEL-YODEL-YODEL-YODEL
YODEL-YODEL-YODEL-YODEL

YODEL-YODEL-YODEL-YODEL
YODEL-AY-HEE-HOO!

[ECHOING]
YODEL-YODEL-YODEL-YODEL
YODEL-YODEL-YODEL-YODEL

YODEL-YODEL-YODEL-YODEL
YODEL-AY-HEE-HOO!

WICKED COOL.

NOW WHAT?

LET'S SEE SOME LOGOS!

OLÉ.

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