The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 2, Episode 26 - Groove Remover/Overachiever Club - full transcript

Groove Remover: Yzma hopes to get rid of Kuzko by making him drink a potion which not only transforms him, but everyone who addresses him into whatever they named as a curse. Overachiever Club: Mr. Moleguaco tries punishing Kuzko bu throwing him in the isolation shack. Realizing lazybones only enjoys that, he makes him join Guaca's overachievers club instead, but it's the nerds there who feel punished, and the people their charity tries to help.

To prepare yourself for how
hard you're gonna laugh today,

please join me
in some comedy stretches.

One! Two! Three.



Theme music.

(♪ "Emperor's New School"

♪ He's on his way to the throne
He's on his way to success

♪ But he has to go to school
He's got to ace that test!

♪ He's an emperor-to-be
And he's totally...

You know,
it's all about me.

♪ Let's go!

♪ He's going to Kuzco Academy

♪ He's got to learn his ABCs

♪ They'll try to stop him!
To top him!

To destroy him, right?

♪ K-U-Z-C-O
Kuzco! Kuzco!
Go! Go!

♪ He's got the cool,
he's got the charm
and the looks

♪ And a hottie
that can help him read

♪ The thing called books!
♪ Let's go!

♪ He's going to Kuzco Academy

♪ Come on, Kuzco!
♪ Got to fulfill his destiny

♪ His friends are loyal,
it's royal

♪ They'll help
against the foil!

Friends? I thought
this was all about me.

Spell my name again.

♪ K-U-Z-C-O
Kuzco! Kuzco!
Go! Go! ♪

(Kuzco)Let's check out today's
lamey-lame lame-os, shall we?

Heh-heh. Look at him.

Oh! Cactus Face.

Ha-ha! Funny hair.

(snickers)Nostril Boy.

His nose is as plain
as the nose on his face.

Heh-heh! I'm funny.

(sighs)These guys
are pathetic.


You know, it feels good
to laugh,

even if you don't know
what's funny.

What's funny?

Just checking out
the competish.

The competish?

That's short for something.
"Computer fish"?

Complimentary Danish?

It's cool talk for
"competition," I think.

Although the Danish thing
works, too.

All I know is
everybody but me

is L-A-M, lame.

Yeah, I hope it's not
a spelling competish.

The Hutcoming game's
coming up.

Which means I get voted
Hutcoming King.

And today is voting day.

So you, uh, think
you have a chance?

Compared to all
these losey losers?

(makes buzzer sound)
Freakishly overgrown.

(buzzer sound)
Freakishly freakish.

Oh, Mr. Moleguaco,

I did the homework
for the rest of the year.

(mimicking)And my glasses
are so huge

they cause my voice
to crackety-crack.

(buzzer sound)
Freakishly funny sounding.

(laughs uproariously)

That's hilarious,
laughing at others!

No, wait.
That's not hilarious.

With my smile,
muscles, hair,

muscles, breath, muscles,
charm and muscles,

nobody else in this school
stands a chance.

Well, what about, uh, Ramon?

When did they put those in?

Ramon had 'em installed
for exercise.

And to show off.

No Swedish guy's
gonna beat me.

Besides, he's freakishly...


Well, what is it, Kronk?

(laughs uproariously)


Is that a wig or did a marmot
fall asleep on your head?

(yelps)What happened?

It works! It works!

Whatever you make fun of
happens to you!

Ha-ha! It's brilliant!

All because of this soap.

You know, I don't like
potion-testing time anymore.

Once Kuzco uses
my potion soap,

anytime he makes fun
of someone,

the same thing will
happen to him!(laughs)

Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Oh, oh!

You mean like if he says
somebody's as old
as a dinosaur,

he'll become as old
as a dinosaur.

Or if he says somebody's
scary beyond all reason,

he'll become scary
beyond all reason.

Or if he says somebody's
always cranky and purple,
he'll -

Yes, yes.

I saw him earlier,
laughing at the other students.

Now he'll become everything
he thinks is embarrassing

and then run
seven mountains away!

(laughs maniacally)


Can we take
the wigs off now?

♪ If you're Kuzco
and you know it, scrubby-scrub

♪ If you're Kuzco
and you know it, washy-wash

♪ If you're Kuzco
and you know it

♪ Then your face
will surely show... ♪

Hey, there, Cactus Face.

Boy, those pimples really
popped his sense of humor.

Hey, look. Heh-heh!

Argh! Frankenstein lives!



Hey, there's Funny Hair.

Funny Hair, Funny Hair!

(laughs)I'm as funny
as his hair.

Hey, Big Tooth.
The llama called.

Wants his dentures back.

Good thing he can't see
anything up close
without his nerd glasses.


(scream continues)


The potion soap worked!

Kuzco's famous groove
is all washed up!

(laughs maniacally)


That was clever.
"All washed up."

I liked that.

I try to think these up

All right, K-man.

Obviously, Yzma slipped you
a little potion-y potion.

But you're still
Hutcoming King material.

You just flash
the old Kuzco charm.

Mind if I grace you
with my magnificence?

(bird cries in distance)

Sorry, Kuzco.

We don't allow four-eyed,
funny-haired, pimple-faced,

frog-legged guys
to sit with us.


(chuckles)No way, dude.
Sit somewhere else.

Nice change of pace.

I'll do plenty of sitting
on my Hutcoming King throne.

Hey, there you are.

Hey, Malina.
How's it going?

I like staring
at this tray.

Kuzco, what's going on?

Whoa! Oh! Wow.


It's some hideous
Yzma spell.

I bet it was that towel
I used after I showered
with that purple soap.

Or maybe it was the water
I used to wash off
the purple soap suds!

Or it was the purple soap.
Nah, too obvious.

Relax, Kuzco.
So you have a bad haircut.

It'll grow out.

Without my contacts,
I'd walk into walls.

Pimples? I have just
the stuff to clear that up.

You mean, you don't wanna
point and laugh at me?

What kind of
insensitive jerk
would do that?

Hi, Malina.

Look! Ha-ha!

Hey, I hear the Voice Cracking
Club needs a poster boy.

You're hired!

What's your problem?

(voice cracking)What?
Did you hear the way
that guy talked?



(voice cracking)
Hey, you just laughed at me.

Huh? No, no! I was just,

Look at Kuzco!



Stop it! Stop it!

I thought you of all people
would understand. That's it!

I'm running seven mountains away
and never coming back!

Kuzco! I-I'm sorry!

(♪ melancholy music)

(music stops)


Even my big mountain poster
can't cheer me up.

Malina! How'd you find me?

This is your room.

But I could've been seven
mountains away by now.

Yeah. That would
require effort.

Yeah, you're right.

Besides, beany-baggy
would've missed me.

Kuzco, I came here to get you
to come back to school.

Oh, yeah? Why?

So you and everybody
can have a good laugh?

Or maybe you thought up
a funny name to call me.

You mean like...
Hutcoming King?

Yeah, that is a horrible thing
to call some -

Wait. What? You mean...?

You won.

The ceremony is tomorrow,
during halftime
at the Hutcoming Game.

All right! Ow!

Wait. I can't go to that.

My super-handsome awesomeness
is temporarily out of order.

Kuzco, if you're
gonna dish it out,

you gotta learn
to take it.

Besides, if you don't show,

runner-up Ramon
gets to be king.

And, uh, I'm the queen.

Oh, and there's a slow dance
after the game.

(over loudspeaker)
And it's halftime here

at Kuzco Academy's
Hutcoming Kuzcoball game.

And time to present this year's
Hutcoming King and Queen!

So give it up for...

Principal Amzy!

(crowd falls silent)

Thank you, thank you.

Quiet down.

Nobody's applauding.

First, I'd like to present
your lovely Hutcoming Queen,

(cheers and applause)

Big surprise.

And now the moment
I've been waiting for:

Your not-so-handsome
Hutcoming King, Kuzco!


Looks like Kuzco has run
seven mountains away,
never to return!

And now the empire is mine!

(laughs maniacally)

I mean... not mine.
It'll be Yzma's.

Which is horrible.

(voice cracking)
Wait one second!

(voice cracking)I'm not afraid
of my teenagey afflictions.

I dished it out,
so I'm ready to take it.

Come on, guys!
Hit me with your best shot!

Uh, can you see
ice formations on the moon

with those glasses?


Thick lenses. Classic.
Anyone else?

Is that a haircut,
or did the goddess of weaving

curse you with her enchanted
heddle stick?

Heh. It's a little clunky,
but that'll do.

All right, who's next?

Hey, Big Tooth!
The llama called!

He wants his dentures back!

Hey, that one
sounded familiar.

Enough! Kuzco, are you
actually willing

to suffer this kind of
abuse on a daily basis?

(chuckles)Hey, they voted
for me as Hutcoming King,

so as long as my people
like me, or laugh at me,
I don't care.

In fact,
they like you so much,

you received 100%
of the votes!

I counted 'em myself.

I voted for Ramon.

We voted for each other.

I voted for myself, twice.

Why are you all
staring at me?


I stuffed the ballot box!

But Kuzco must rule!
Silence the accusing voices!


Winner or not, I'll always
know I look good on the inside.

So when does this
freakish potion wear off?

I don't know what
you're talking about.
I'm Principal Amzy.

Don't worry, Kuzco.
I've got an idea.

(shower running)

♪ If you're Kuzco
and you know it, scrubby-scrub

♪ If you're Kuzco
and you know it, scrubby-scrub!

How much more
is there to go?

Let's see. You used
the Zit-Go-Gone Face Scrub

and the New-Do-Shampoo.

Next is the Mango
Conditioning Treatment...

Oh, the Vanilla-Pepper
Style Activator

and last, a Cactus Milk
Finishing Spray.

And then it's on
to a creamed carrot soup
to improve that eyesight.

And then I get to work
on those teeth
with these sterilized tongs.

It's a pain being pretty.

♪ If you're Kuzco
and you know it

♪ Then you own a golden toilet

♪ If you're Kuzco
and you know it,
scrubby-scrub ♪

That's it, Kuzco!

You're going to detention!

Yay, detention!

Get to catch up
on my beauty sleep.
Not that I need it.

What'd he do?

Is it grounds
for expulsion?


OK, who signed me up
for royal guard duty?


But you looked so cute.

Last week, he had 37 meat mugs
delivered to my homeroom.

Clearly, I'm not getting
through to him.


I'm sure I'll be able to.
(laughs maniacally)


That's never happened before.

Uh, didn't we just
pass detention?

Yes, Kuzco.

Seeing that you find
detention so...


I'm taking you
to someplace special.


I don't remember this hallway.

And what's with
the scary laughing?

(ominous laughter)

Take your last breath
of freedom, Kuzco!


Welcome to
the Overachiever's Club!

Over the what-now-what?

The Overachiever's Club,
a group of do-gooders

who go above and beyond
what is expected of them.

See you later.
It's my nap time.

And sometimes we take
a pop math quiz
just for giggles.


I just finished reading
all of recorded history.

I get it next.

No, I do!


Kronk! I've got the perfect way
to get Kuzco to...



Uh... what are you doing?

Labeling the potion vials
with my new label maker.



Help me out on this one.

What do you think?
Anteater or tapir?

Isn't that more
of an aardvark?

So I should label it

What difference
does it make?

Anteater, aardvark?
Who cares?

The animals care, Yzma.
They care very much.

Don't you care about what
the animals care about?

If I could work
the label maker,

I'd label you
"unkind to animals."


You might want to make
a label that says "brilliant"

because I've got the perfect
plan to keep Kuzco

from becoming emperor!

I heard he was
in detention.

Exactly! So I'll become
a "bad influence,"

join him in detention
and influence him
to drop out of school!

Now, which one of
these potions

will disguise me
as a juvenile delinquent?

Not this one.

(high-pitched)Or this one.

Never mind.
I'll do it myself.

To the secret costume tent!

Now to become
the perfect bad influence.

Nothing says "delinquent"
like a pirate. Argh!

(parrot squawks)

But I don't love
the earrings.

Ugh. These pants make me
look hippy.

This is perfect!
Kuzco will drop out,

and I will drop in
as ruler of the empire!

33, 34,

35, 36,

37, 38...

Oh, what's the matter,

Don't you want to practice
for gym class?

Who wants to go out
and read books to those
who can't afford library cards?

(exaggerated snore)

I don't think Kuzco
shares our enthusiasm

for going above and beyond.

I move to revoke
Kuzco's membership,
effective immediately.

don't be fooled by

Kuzco's fake
"it's all about me" attitude.

That's just an act.
No, it isn't.

Deep down, he cares as much
about the people of this kingdom

as you or I.
You can't be serious.

And maybe, just maybe,
with Kuzco to guide us,

the thrill of doing good
will catch on to others.

OK, Guaka.
He's still in.

Next order of business:
raising money
for the senior center.

Did somebody say "money"?

So... this is detention?

Heh-heh. Not so tough.

You're new to detention,
aren't you?

Well, you take a seat until
Principal Amzy gets here.

She'll show you tough.

Who are you two?
Where's Kuzco?

Not here today.

Not here? But...

Oh, well.
Guess I'll be going.

You are not going anywheres!


Kuzcoins for charity.

Kuzcoins for charity.

Wait! Whoa, whoa,
whoa, hold on.

People just give you money?

Yep. People like charity.

Guaka, usually I mock you
'cause it makes me
feel happy inside.

But I gotta hand it to you.
This is a brilliant scam!

It's not a scam, Kuzco.

We're gonna use this money
to build a fountain

for the old folks
at the senior center.

Hmm, what's the appropriate
response here?

"Lame"? Hmm...

"Super lame"?
Ah, better play it safe.

Super-duper lamey-lame!

I'm going to put this money
to good use. Be back soon!

But-but, wait!

What's wrong, Guaka?

Kuzco just took all the money
we collected,

and I think he's gonna use it
for non-charitable purposes.

(gasps)That's awful!

You're right. It is awful!
What was I thinking?

Kuzco would never do
something like that.

Check out what I bought
with the charity money, guys.

The Belchy Belchy
Noisy Shooter!

(loud belch)


But that doesn't
spread charity!

No. It spreads laughter
throughout the world,

without saying "excuse me."

But charity money should go
to the people who deserve it.

Exactly, Guaka.

And who deserves charity more
than the Overachiever's Club?

Come on, when was
the last time the old folks
at the senior center

got off their old keisters
and collected money for you?


We have been working
awfully hard.

Yeah! Kick back
and treat yourself!

(overlapping chatter)

But it's not right.

what's not right.

(loud belch)


Listen up, delinquents!

Who? Us?


Principal Amzy is going to
want to talk with all of you.

So while I go find her,
here is my replacement.


Thanks, coach.

Attention, troubled youth.

I'm Kronk and I'm covering
for Coach Suweaty

while she finds Principal Amzy,
who has mysteriously


Now I don't want
you misguided youngsters

to think of me
as "the Man."

I'm just Kronk,
and I'm on the real.

So let's get
this party pumpin'
and raise the roof!

Kronk, you've got
to get me out of here.

They wrapped me
in toilet paper!

Sorry, kid.
You do the crime,
you do the time.

What are you in for?

Yeah, he's a good kid
but a bad influence.

Best you stay away from him.

Can't you see who I really am?


A deeply misunderstood teen
crying for attention.

Oh, I give up!

Oh! Check out
my new calendar stone.

It's imported!

Wow! Almost as cool as
my deluxe potion-maker set.

These arch support sandals
are gonna give me good posture.

Girls are sure
to talk to me now.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys.

This... This is all wrong.

Kuzco's right.

Uh, my new name is
Kuzkizzy Fizzy Da Dizzy.

Oh. Kuzkizzy Fa Dizzy's

We shouldn't be spending
the charity money on ourselves.

No, no, no, no, no.
What Guaka means to say is

we shouldn't be spending
the charity money on lame stuff.

Follow me! We're gonna put
the "fun" in fundraising!

You're young, kid,
whole life ahead of ya.

Don't make the same mistakes
I did.

Don't get yourself caught up
with a cranky old hag

who's always
bossing ya around.

Cranky hag?

"Pull the lever, Kronk!"
"Shave my legs, Kronk!"

It never stops!

And she's always coming up
with stupid plots to get rid
of Kuzco.

It's like, just grab the guy
and throw him in the dungeon!

But no!
That's not brilliant.

Yeah, well your breath's
not brilliant either,
you old prune.


Still, Yzma's not so bad.

Perhaps you admire her strong
sense of purpose and drive?


No. No, I'm just saying that
compared to Principal Amzy,

or should I say
"Principal Rude"?

It's like the lady's
never heard of "please"
or "thank you."

Kronk! It's me, Amzy!

It's an excellent costume,

but impersonating a school
official will just get you
more detention.


(Kuzco)You know what,

I love charity work!

You were right, Guaka.
Kuzco rules!

Yeah. Rules.

Hey, uh, how about picking up
the pace, old man?

Time is money.

Oh, there you are!

I've been chasing you kids
all day.

But you're in front of us.

I don't have much money -
just this single Kuzcoin.

But when I heard about the
fountain for the senior center,

I thought, by gum,

these kids would
put it to good use.

Yeah, whatever.
Give it here.
Enough is enough!

Guaka, what are you doing?

the Overachiever's Club!

Saving it from the greedy,
selfish, corrupting influence
of him!

Kuzco must be stopped!

It's always the quiet ones
who surprise you, isn't it?

Now, if you've seen
this show before,

you know Guaka here
is the one guy

who understands how cool
and amazing I am.

He made me that cake,

he defended me against
those two mean kids

and he said some pretty nice
things about me to the guys.

I mean, how could he not?
But this...

This makes me think
something's up.

This is not a good sign.

Look, let's not point fingers

and argue about who's right
and who's righter.

Pointing is rude.

So, what's your point?

My point is, Guaka, what would
you have us spend the money on?

(spits)How long
we gotta be here?

(spits)Until people
throw in enough money

to replace
what you guys spent.

But we spent thousands
of Kuzcoins!

Less talking, more spitting.

(slurps noisily)

Kronk, you've got to listen.
No talking.

Principal Amzy is -

She'll never show up
because -

Quiet time!

I'm Principal Amzy!

But, but -

Look, unless you stop
with this bad attitude,

you are just asking
for more detention.

Kronk! It's me, Yzma!

That's it!
Double detention!