The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 2, Episode 13 - No Man Is an Island/Vincent Van Guaka - full transcript

♪ ME, ME, ME, ME,
ME, ME, ME ♪

AND THOSE ARE A FEW
OF MY FAVORITE THINGS.

CUE THE ME MUSIC.

[MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY-- ♪

YOU KNOW,
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.



♪ EXACTLY ♪

♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOIN'
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN
HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY TO STOP HIM,
TO TOP HIM ♪

TO DESTROY HIM,
RIGHT?

UH...

♪ K-U-Z-C-O ♪

♪ KUZCO, KUZCO, GO, GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪

♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAN CAN HELP HIM ♪

♪ READ THAT THING CALLED BOOK ♪



♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOIN'
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON, KUZCO ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL ♪

♪ IT'S ROYAL, THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL-- ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT
THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH.
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN.

♪ K-U-Z-C-O ♪

♪ KUZCO, KUZCO,
GO, GO ♪

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DISNEY ABC CABLE NETWORKS GROUP

[SNORING]

[SNORING]

[CRASHING AND BANGING]

[GASPS]

STEP AWAY FROM THE LAB,
YOU GIANT BIRD LIZARD

BURGLAR THING.

I'M NOT A BURGLAR, KRONK.

IT'S ME--YZMA.

AND I'M FRUSTRATED,
FRUSTRATED, FRUSTRATED!

OH, MY. I TAKE IT
YOU'RE FRUSTRATED.

MY LAST 3 SCHEMES
TO DESTROY KUZCO
HAVE FAILED.

IN TRUTH, HAVEN'T THEY
ALL FAILED?

WELL, YES, BUT
THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR 3
IN THE FLASHBACK.

OH, FLASHBACK!

NOW FOR THE FLASHBACKY-TYPE
THEME MUSIC.

♪ DA DA DA DA
DA DA DA DA! ♪

FAILURE NUMBER ONE--
THE KRONK-A-PULT.

FAILURE NUMBER 2...

THE YZ MIXER-UPPER.

AND FINALLY,
THE KUZCO WHEEL.

WHEEE!

HA HA HA.

BOY, HE HAD FUN
ON THAT LAST ONE.

WHAT WAS IT SUPPOSED TO DO,
AGAIN?

NEVER MIND THAT.

THE POINT IS, I'M DONE WITH
THESE CONVOLUTED SCHEMES.

FROM NOW ON,
WE KEEP IT SIMPLE.

NO MORE GIMMICKS,
NO MORE POTIONS.

NOW THROW KUZCO
IN THIS CRATE

AND MAIL HIM FAR AWAY.

YEAH, BUT YOU JUST
USED A POTION.

YOU SAID NO MORE POTIONS,

THEN YOU USED A POTION
TO MAKE A CRATE.

THE CRATE IS POTION-MADE.

IT'S A POTION-MADE CRATE
FROM A CRATE-MAKING POTION.

KRONK!

YEAH, OK.
I'LL LET IT GO.

THIS TIME.

I'M GONNA CHANGE
OUT OF MY PJs.

AND NOW HERE'S YOU.

YOU'RE 2.
YOU'RE--

WHICHEVER ONE HE IS--

WITH A REPORT.

AHEM! UM,

MY REPORT
IS ABOUT AQUEDUCTS.

BORING.

TIME FOR MY REPORT.

IT'S CALLED KUZCO:
GREAT OR GREATEST?

IT ALL BEGAN YEARS AGO

WITH THE BIRTH OF
THE WORLD'S CUTEST BABY.

OH, STOP, STOP, STOP!

KUZCO, LAST WEEK YOUR REPORT
WAS KUZCO: COOL OR COOLEST?

AND THE WEEK BEFORE THAT,
KUZCO: HOT OR HOTTEST?

YOU MAY BECOME EMPEROR
WITH THAT ATTITUDE,

BUT YOU'LL BE A LONELY
AND UNLOVED ONE.

YOU CAN'T ALWAYS BE
THE CENTER OF ATTENTION
BECAUSE IT'S--

[BELL RINGS]

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

BECAUSE IT'S SELFISH,
KUZCO.

THAT'S WHAT MR. MOLEGUACO
WAS GOING TO SAY.

THE UNIVERSE DOESN'T
REVOLVE AROUND YOU.

YAY! THE NEW KUZCOLAR SYSTEM
MODEL GOT HERE.

JUST ONCE I WISH
YOU'D THINK OF SOMEONE
OTHER THAN YOURSELF.

HOW CAN I NOT THINK
OF MYSELF WHEN, LOOK,

THERE'S MIRRORS
IN THE JUNGLE.

COOL.
SOMEONE GOT THE MEMO.

NO ONE GOT THE MEMO,
KUZCO.

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY--

A TRAP.

[TINKLING]

WE GOT HIM.

[TINKLING]

AND OUR SPINACH PUFFS
ARE DONE.

HEY, WHAT'S IN THERE?

BOOKS.

WHAT ELSE
WOULD BE IN THERE?

NOT PEOPLE. HA. HA.

YOU HAVE PEOPLE
IN THERE?

NO! NOT UNLESS YOU HAVE
A CHEAPER PEOPLE RATE.

YOU ANSWER FIRST.

I'LL GIVE MY ANSWER
BASED ON YOUR ANSWER--

ABOUT THE PEOPLE.
THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

OH. PRINCIPAL AMZY.

HERE TO FIRE ME?
PLEASE?

NO. I'M HERE
TO WATCH YOU TAKE ROLL,

SKIPPING EVERYONE ELSE
AND STARTING WITH KUZCO.

[SIGHS]

FINE.

KUZCO?

YES! YES! YES!

ACTUALLY, IT'S NOT
THAT UNUSUAL.

SOMETIMES I EVEN
ENCOURAGE KUZCO
TO SKIP CLASS.

NOW, IF MALINA
WERE ABSENT,

RUINING HER PERFECT
ATTENDANCE RECORD,

THAT WOULD BE UNUSUAL,
RIGHT, MALINA?

MALINA?

I SAW HER WALKING HOME
WITH KUZCO YESTERDAY.

KUZCO, MALINA, CRATE.

BEING CHARGED
THE 2-PEOPLE POSTAL RATE.

I WONDER IF THERE'S
A CONNECTION.

OH, GOOD. THE JUNGLE
LIGHTS ARE BACK ON.

EASIER TO SEE ME
THAT WAY.

UM, KUZCO, LOOK AROUND.

WE'RE STRANDED
ON A DESERTED ISLAND.
BUT DON'T BE--

WHAT?! A DESERTED ISLAND?!

AAH! A DESERTED ISLAND!

SOMEBODY HELP!
I'M TOO YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL

TO BE STRANDED HERE!

SAVE ME! SAVE ME, EMPEROR!

ARE YOU DONE?

JUST CATCHING
MY SECOND WIND.

HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!

SAVE ME!
I'M A BEAUTIFUL BEING!

SAVE ME, EMPEROR!

OK. DID MY PART.

NOW YOU DO YOUR
SMARTY-SMART THING

AND GET US
OUT OF HERE.

OK, I'VE GOT A PLAN.
FIRST, WE NEED TO--

NUH, NUH, NUH,
NO TALKIE,

JUST DOIE!

SO, YOU KNOW THAT QUESTION
PEOPLE ASK--

IF YOU COULD TAKE
ONE HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE

TO BE STRANDED
ON A DESERTED ISLAND WITH,

WHO WOULD YOU PICK?

THIS MUST BE YOUR DREAM.

WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO "NO TALKIE"?

WHOA.

CHECK OUT THE
HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE STATUE.

IT LOOKS LIKE...

ME.

AND YOU THINK
I'M STUCK UP.

[CHATTERING]

AAH! MAN-EATING MONKEYS!

[CHATTERING]

[CHATTERING STOPS]

OK, THAT AIN'T RIGHT.

NOW THAT KUZCO'S GONE,

I CAN GET STARTED
ON MY FIRST ACT AS EMPRESS--

CHANGING THE UPHOLSTERY
ON THE ROYAL THRONE.

HMM...SO MANY CHOICES.

MISTED EGGPLANT.

WHISPERING EGGPLANT.

ESSENCE OF EGGPLANT.

NOTE FROM KRONK. WHAA?

Kronk: DEAR YZMA,
BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS

AND HEAR MY VOICE-OVER,
I'LL BE GONE.

I FEEL BAD ABOUT
THE WHOLE POTION CRATE THING

AND HAVE GONE
TO RESCUE MALINA...

AND MAYBE KUZCO,
'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT
FRIENDS ARE FOR.

BY THE WAY, GO WITH
THE EVENING EGGPLANT.

IT MATCHES YOUR COMPLEXION.

KRONK VL OUT.

OHH! I HAVE TO
TRACK DOWN KRONK

BEFORE HE RUINS
MY PLANS.

[SIGHS]

AN EMPRESS' WORK
IS NEVER DONE.

[BELL DINGS]

MALINA!

KUZCO!

HELLO!

AH. WHAT'S WITH
THE SUNBATHING CHIMP?

HA HA! AND A FEW MINUTES AGO,

YOU THOUGHT THESE MONKEYS
WERE GOING TO EAT YOU.

THAT WAS YOU, KUZCO.

OH, YOU ARE SO LOVING THIS,

LITTLE MISS "OOH, IT'S BAD
TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION."

WHAT I'M LOVING
IS FOR ONCE,

YOU AREN'T THE CENTER
OF ATTENTION.

I CAN CHANGE THAT.

HEY, MONKEY PEOPLE.

IT'S TIME YOU LEARNED
THAT I, KUZCO,

AM AN EMPEROR-TO-BE.

YOU, SCRATCH MY BACK.

[ANGRY CHATTERING]

OK, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'LL GET YOU TO NOTICE ME,

BY STORMING OUT.

HELLO?

STORMING OUT OVER HERE.

AHH, ANOTHER SMOOTHIE,
PLEASE.

[CHATTER CHATTER]

NOT BANANA AGAIN?

AND...STORM.

[GROANING]

THERE'S GOT TO BE
A BETTER WAY TO TRAVEL.

WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT, KUZCO?

I'M SCHEDULED FOR
A SEAWEED WRAP.

I JUST WANTED
TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

MY STATUE?

NO.

MY STATUE!

UNFORTUNATELY,
THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH TWIGS
ON THIS WHOLE ISLAND

TO MAKE MY BIG MUSCLES,

AND I LOOK SLIGHTLY
ELFISH,

BUT, YAY! MY STATUE.

IT DOESN'T EVEN
LOOK LIKE YOU, KUZCO.

THE MONKEYS WILL NEVER
GO FOR IT.

[EXCITED
CHATTERING]

WELL, IT SEEMS TO ME

THEY RECOGNIZE
THEIR ONE TRUE IDOL.

THEN WHY ARE THEY ALSO
BOWING TO THAT TREE?

DIBS ON THE SPA BATH.

DIBS ON EVERYTHING ELSE.

Kuzco: THIS MIGHT BE
A GOOD TIME TO TELL YOU

I'VE GOT SENSITIVE SKIN.

ARE YOU PRODUCTS
ALL NATURAL?

UH, THIS DOESN'T LOOK
VERY SPA-LIKE.

I'VE SUDDENLY GOT
A BAD FEELING.

YEAH, ME, TOO.

LOWER LUMBAR.
WHERE'S THAT MASSAGE?

[THUMPING]

[BIRDS SQUAWKING]

[THUMPING LOUDER]

WOW.

WOULD YOU LOOK AT
THE HANDS ON THAT GUY.

YAY! I'M GETTING
THE MASSAGE OF A LIFETIME.

OH, HEY, EASE UP
ON THE PRESSURE THERE,
BIG FELLA.

LESS SWEDISH,
MORE LOMI LOMI.

KUZCO, DON'T YOU GET IT?

WE'RE NOT THE MONKEYS' IDOLS,

WE'RE SACRIFICES
TO THEIR REAL IDOL.

HIM!

AH-HAH.

SUDDENLY IT'S NOT SO HOT

BEING THE CENTER
OF ATTENTION.

CUE BLOODCURDLING SCREAM.

AAAHH!

DUH! I CAUGHT A DINOSAUR.

WHOO-HOO!

YOU CAUGHT ME, KRONK.

OH. YZMA.

OK, BACK TO RESCUING
MALINA.

AND BACK TO FINDING KUZCO

TO MAKE SURE
YOU DON'T RESCUE HIM.

BUT WHERE COULD HE BE?

OTHER THAN THAT GIRLY
BLOODCURDLING SCREAM
I HEARD A SECOND AGO,

IT'S BEEN PRETTY QUIET.

Kuzco: YOU DON'T WANT ME.
I--I'M ALL MUSCLE.

YOU WANT HER.

SHE'S GOT A CHEWY
NOUGAT CENTER.

THIS IS NO TIME
TO SELL ME OUT, KUZCO.

IT'S A PERFECT TIME.
YOU WANTED TO BE
THE CENTER OF ATTENTION.

DON'T COMPLAIN NOW.

WELL, HE'S FROM
THE ROYAL BLOODLINE.

MUCH TASTIER
THAN A PEASANT.

BUT SHE'S SPA-FRESH.

I, ON THE OTHER HAND,
HAVEN'T SHOWERED SINCE TUESDAY.

LAST TUESDAY?

BOY, IT SURE WOULD HELP
THE SEARCH

IF WE COULD HEAR ANOTHER
ONE OF THOSE
BLOODCURDLING SCREAMS.

AAAHH!

AH, THAT WAS
MORE OF A WAIL.

I WAS LOOKING FOR
A REAL EAR-PIERCER.

AAAHHHHH!

THAT'S THE ONE.

[GRR]

THAT SCREAM SEEMS TO HAVE
COME FROM UP HERE.

HUH?

AAAAHH! AAAAHH! AAAAAHH!

AAH! AAH!

NOW FOR THIS WEEK'S REPORTS.

GUAKA, YOU FIRST.

THAT IS UNTIL KUZCO
RUDELY INTERRUPTS YOU.

NO, MR. M, IT'S OK.
I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE

THE CENTER OF ATTENTION.

GUAKA, THE FLOOR IS YOURS.

MY REPORT. AHEM.

KUZCO: WHY HE DOESN'T
ALWAYS NEED TO BE
THE CENTER OF ATTENTION.

IT ALL BEGAN YEARS AGO

WITH THE BIRTH
OF THE WORLD'S CUTEST BABY.

WHAT?

I GOT A DELIVERY
FOR K. RONK.

POSTAGE DUE.

HEH. POSTAGE DUE.

SORRY. NO CAN DO
THE POSTAGE DUE.

YZMA WOULD HAVE
A DIZZY FIT.

YOU JUST SEND IT BACK
TO WHERE IT CAME FROM.

BACK TO THE ISLAND
IT GOES.

KRONK, YOU LLAMA-BRAIN,
IT'S ME--YZMA.

PAY THE POSTAGE, KRONK!

KRONNKKK!

Kuzco:
AND THE GUY SAYS,

"WIFE, I WAS TALKING
ABOUT MY LLAMA."

HA HA HA HA HA!

GOOD ONE, SIR.

KUZCO, I THOUGHT
Y'ALL INVITED US OVER
TO PLAY GAMES.

OH! OH! GAME TIME.
TIME FOR THE GAMES.

THE TIME WHEN
THE GAMES ARE PLAYED.

GAME TIME!

OK, OK.

[SLURP]

KUZCO! DON'T DO THAT
TO GUAKA.

OH, YOU MEAN MY COASTER?
HE LOVES IT.

I'M GETTING BRAIN FREEZE.

HE'S YOUR GUEST.

COME ON, GUAKA,

YOU WANT TO PLAY
SKETCH O' RAMA WITH US?

YOU CAN DRAW
THE FIRST CLUE.

DRAW?!

AAAAHHHH!

NICE ONE, MALINA.

NOW WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO DRINK?

[HYPERVENTILATING]

MALINA TOLD ME
I HAD TO CHECK ON YOU,

SO...YOU'RE GOOD, RIGHT?

[GASPING] NO!

DRAWING TERRIFIES ME.

WHOA! STOPPY-STOP.

SINCE THIS IS PROBABLY
GONNA BE INTIMATE,

PERSONAL, AND, UH,
THUS BORING,

WHY NOT EXPLAIN IT
WITH DOODLES?

YOU MEAN...DRAW?

COME ON. HOW BAD AT IT
CAN YOU BE?

IT'S TIME FOR
GUAKA'S DOODLE.

THAT'S WHERE I TRY
TO MAKE MY GUT-WRENCHING
PROBLEM FUNNY.

HERE I AM, AND--

WAIT.

THERE'S A SAUSAGE
ON YOUR HEAD?

THAT'S A BERET.

AND I'M DOING
WHAT I FEAR MOST
IN THE WORLD.

BALANCING A SAUSAGE?

PAINTING.

REALLY? 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,

IT LOOKS LIKE A WATERMELON
WITH A SAUSAGE ON ITS HEAD

TALKING TO A BOX
OF CHOCOLATES.

CAN I FINISH?

I WANT TO BE
A MUCK-SLINGER

LIKE MY DAD,

WORKING IN THE SOIL,

SLINGING MUD
AND MUCK AROUND.

HE'S ALWAYS SAYING...

[IRISH ACCENT] I WANT YE
TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE THAN I,

AWAY FROM THE DITCHES
AND THE DIRT,

BRINGIN' BEAUTY
TO THE WORLD,

LIKE A RIGHT FAMOUS
ARTIST.

Kuzco:
YOUR FATHER'S IRISH?

YOU GOT A PROBLEM
WITH THAT?

NO, NO. JUST STOP DRAWING.

YOU'RE MAKING DOODLES
LOOK BAD.

HE'S SO SURE
I SHOULD BE AN ARTIST

THAT HE'S ENTERED ME
INTO THE ACADEMY
ART COMPETITION.

[HYPERVENTILATING]

WELL, I'M SURE
IF YOU PRACTICED FIRST--

IT'S TOMORROW.

NEVER MIND.

I'M DOOMED!

AND THE LLAMA
SAYS TO THE WEAVER,

"YEAH? WELL,
I'LL SHEAR YOU."

HA HA!

GET IT? HUH?

I'LL SHOW YOU.
I'LL SHEAR YOU.

LLAMA HUMOR.

ZING!

KAVO THINK KUZCO
TRY TOO HARD.

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?

IF YOU DON'T LAUGH,
THEY WON'T GET
HOW FUNNY I AM.

SORRY, SIR,
BUT YOUR SEMI-HILARIOUS PUNS

JUST AREN'T AMUSING
WHEN MY LIFE'S BEEN
PULVERIZED TO PIECES.

NO LAUGHING AT MY JOKES,

NO HOLDING MY DRINKS,

NO "GOOD ONE, SIR."

WHAT HAPPENED TO
THE TOADY I RELIED UPON?

ART HAS DESTROYED HIM.

OHH. I JUST CAN'T BEAR
TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS.

YAY! THAT'S BETTER.

KUZCO!

THAT'S NOT GONNA
FIX HIS PROBLEM.

WHO CARES ABOUT
HIS PROBLEMS?

HE'S ALREADY SPILLED
5 OF MY DRINKS.

WATCH.

HUH?

I COULDN'T HELP
OVERHEARING YOUR DILEMMA.

YOU KNOW,
WHEN I WAS YOUNG,

I WAS PRESSURED
TO BE A LOUNGE SINGER.

THE ALLURE OF VELVET
AND ABILITY TO CROON

ARE SEWN INTO THE FABRIC
OF THE FAMILY GENES.

BUT TO ME, THE CALL OF
THE SKILLET ALWAYS BECKONED.

COME GET US!

WE'RE NONSTICK!

AND...WHY ARE YOU
TELLING US THIS?

WELL, I FINALLY
GOT UP THE NERVE
TO TELL MY DAD

HOW IMPORTANT SAUTEEING
AND SOUFFLEING WAS TO ME.

AND HE UNDERSTOOD.

HOW DOES THAT EVEN
REMOTELY APPLY
TO OUR SITUATION?

GUAKA DOESN'T
WANT TO BE A COOK.

EH-EH, EH-EH-EH.
BUT, KUZCO--

THE PROBLEM IS,
GUAKA IS A LOUSY ARTIST,

SO I'M GOING TO FIX THAT
IN TIME FOR THE ART
CONTEST TOMORROW.

HOW?

HARD WORK
AND DEDICATION?

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

I'M GETTING YOU
A POTION!

WH-WHY CAN'T I
GO WITH YOU?

COASTER ONLY SEATS 2.

I'LL JUST WAIT HERE, THEN.

P.A.: FOR YOUR SAFETY
AND THE SAFETY
OF OTHER DRIVERS,

PLEASE DO NOT BUMP
THE CAR AHEAD OF YOU.

[BRAKES SCREECH]

[CRANKING]

[WHIRR]

ALGEBRA POTION,
ORIGAMI POTION,
SOUSAPHONE POTION--

HA HA! THAT'S A FUNNY WORD,
SOUSAPHONE.

OH! YZMA TOOK THE LAST
PAINTING POTION.

YZMA PAINTS?

PRETTY KITTY.

HEY, YOU'RE A CHEF.
WHY DON'T YOU WHIP UP
A POTION?

JUST 'CAUSE I CAN
WHIP UP A MUG O' MEAD

DOESN'T MEAN I DABBLE
IN THE DANGEROUS ART
OF POTIONS.

BUT GUAKA NEEDS
ALL THE HELP HE CAN GET.

BELIEVE ME.
I'VE SEEN HIS WORK.

SO IF YOU WON'T DO IT,
I WILL.

OHH!
I MEAN, PLEASE,

IF A WITHERED OLD DINOSAUR
LIKE YZMA CAN DO IT,

HOW HARD CAN IT BE?

OK, BUT YOU'LL NEED THESE.

AND YOU GOTTA SIGN THIS.

OK. "THE PARTY
OF THE FIRST PART

"REMOVES ALL LIABILITY
FROM THE PARTY
OF THE SECOND PART

SHOULD EVERYTHING GO
HORRIBLY, HORRIBLY WRONG."

OTHER THAN THE
"HORRIBLY, HORRIBLY" PART,

THAT'S A NICE WAY OF SAYING
IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU,
DON'T LOOK AT ME.

LEGALLY SPEAKING,
OF COURSE.

AS A FRIEND, I'LL ALWAYS
BE HERE FOR YOU,

EXCEPT FOR WHEN
I'M SOMEWHERE ELSE,

AND THEN, UH,
I GUESS I'LL BE...

THERE FOR YOU,
WHEREVER THERE IS.

MY POINT IS,

I'LL ALWAYS BE
SOMEWHERE FOR YOU.

HERE OR THERE.

[CLICKS PEN]
ALRIGHTY.

[CRASH OF THUNDER]

HOO HOO HA HA HA!

I WOULDN'T DO THAT
IF I WERE YOU.

HOO HOO HA HA HA HA!

THAT'S A NO-NO.

EEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!

I DON'T WANT TO LOOK!

[DING]
VOILA!

MAGIC PAINTING POTION.

AAH!

FOR THOSE WHO CARE,

THE KUZCO ACADEMY
ART COMPETITION
IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.

HEY, SONNY BOY!

ARE YOU READY TO SET
THE ART WORLD ON FIRE?

UH, DAD...

UH, I'M NOT--

I--I THINK M-M--

MY TUMMY--

I DON'T THINK
I CAN DO THIS.

OF COURSE YOU CAN.

I BELIEVE IN YOU,
SONNY.

YOU'RE THE ONE'S
GONNA ESCAPE OUR LOT
IN LIFE AND RISE ABOVE.

JUST REMEMBER
WHAT WE ALWAYS SAY--

UH...KUZCO RULES?

THAT'S RIGHT.
KUZCO RULES!

NOW GO GET 'EM,
SLUGGER!

DID YOU TELL HIM?

UH...OOH.

GUAKA, IS THIS
ANY WAY TO LIVE,

DOING SOMETHING YOU HATE,

HIDING WHAT YOU LOVE?

NO.

REALLY?

'CAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS
WORKING PRETTY GOOD.

YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM.

I KNOW. I JUST DON'T
WANT TO LET MY DAD DOWN.

OF COURSE I WILL SUPERVISE
THE SHOW, PRINCIPAL AMZY.

I DON'T HAVE A LIFE.

NO ONE APPRECIATES
SARCASM ANYMORE.

I WILL NOW BEGIN HARSHLY
CRITIQUING THE CONTESTANTS.

IT'S STARTING.
IT'LL GET NOTHING.

I'M A FAILURE.
I'M A WASHOUT!

I'M A GUAKA!

WHERE'S KUZCO?

I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA HELP.

OH, HE PROBABLY HAS
SOME LAME TRICK UP HIS SLEEVE.

THAT'S A CLEVER WAY
OF SNEAKING IN THE POTION,

PUTTING IT UP YOUR SLEEVE.

THAT'S ME--
MR. NO LAME IDEA GUY.

YEAH, STILL, DON'T YOU
THINK WE SHOULD
TEST IT FIRST?

PAINT SOMETHING?

I SUPPOSE.

SO FAR SO GOOD.

OOH! I KNOW,
PAINT A BUNNY.

A BUNNY, BUNNY,
BUNNY, BUNNY.

BORING.

HOW ABOUT A GIANT
2-HEADED PTERODACTYL,

WITH A KUZCO CAPE
AND--OOH--

IT CAN BURP
3-FOOT-LONG BURRITOS.

SATISFIED,
MR. DOUBTY-PANTS?

I GOT TO ADMIT
IT DOES LOOK QUITE LIFELIKE.

[BRRAAAHKK!]

A LITTLE TOO LIFELIKE.

OK, THAT'S WEIRD.

[BRRAAAKK!]
AAH!

I TOLD YOU BUNNY,
I TOLD YOU BUNNY!

[RWAAHRR]

DAD, THERE'S SOMETHING
I HAVE TO TELL YOU.

I STINK AT ART, AND I...

I WANT TO BE
A MUCK-SLINGER LIKE YOU.

[RRAWR]

AAAHHH!

DAD, PLEASE, THIS IS
IMPORTANT TO ME, AND--

YAAAAHHH!

[ALL SCREAMING]

[BURPING]

LOOK OUT!

[SPLAT]

COME ON!
THE PAINT!

DAD!

I GOTTA SAY, LAD,

I'M NOT TOO KEEN ON THIS
MUCK-SLINGING INTEREST!

DAD! THE DINOSAUR'S
ABOUT TO MAKE YOU HIS LUNCH!

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER?!

AYE! BUT I'M NOT SURE
I APPROVE!

KUZCO, I'VE GOTTA
SAVE MY DAD.

HEY, WHOA.
I MADE THAT POTION PAINT.

I'M DONE FOR THE DAY.

POTION PAINT.

THAT'S IT!

I CAN PAINT SOMETHING
TO STOP THE PTERODACTYL!

ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10,
THIS IS BAD.

DON'T WORRY.
I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

WAIT! THOSE AREN'T
POTION PAINTS.

I KNOW!

UNH!

A BUTTERFLY
WEARING A MITTEN?

NO, NO. NO. NO. NO.

IT'S A HAPPY BAT
WITH 8 LEGS

THAT DOESN'T LIKE
ITS BROTHER.

Malina: WHOA.

HE REALLY IS BAD.

[SQUAWK]

[WHISTLES]

[CHAHH]
[CHAHH]

IF HE HADN'T DONE IT,
I WOULD HAVE.

TRY AGAIN, ME BOY!

USE YOUR SKILLS!

THAT'S IT!

DON'T WORRY, DAD!

I'M GONNA USE
MY SKILLS, ALL RIGHT!

[RRAAHHR]

[CHEERING]

HE SAVED US!

YEAH! HIS PAINTING STINKS,

BUT HIS MUCK-SLINGING RULES!

[SIGHS]
OH, I'M SORRY, DAD.

FOR WHAT? NOT ONLY DID YOU
STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU WANT,

BUT YOU SAVED THE WHOLE
BLOOMIN' VILLAGE IN THE PROCESS.

YOU'RE A TALENTED
MUCK-SLINGER.

I'M RIGHT PROUD
OF YOU, LADDIE.

[CHEERING]

I'M PROUD OF YOU
FOR HELPING GUAKA.

IN YOUR OWN BACKWARD
AND MISGUIDED WAY,

IT ALL WORKED OUT.

OH, THANKS, MALINA.

NOW HOLD STILL.

KUZCO...

IT'S TIME FOR
POTION PAINTING WITH KUZCO.

YAY! MY VERY OWN
HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE.

BUNNY! BUNNY!

[LOUD THUMPING]

KUZCO, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

[LOUD THUMPING]

I'M OK.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DISNEY ABC CABLE NETWORKS GROUP

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.