The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 2, Episode 11 - Emperor's New Musical - full transcript

Yzma has the Kuzco academy declared bankrupt and about to be torn down, so Kuzco can't graduate (just two days away). Malina tries to raise 5,000 Kuzeiros by mounting a musical show, but talent proves scarce, so she insists on enlisting teenage idol Dirk Brock. Both Yzma and jealous Kuzco try to eliminate Brock. Malina diverts Yzma by offering her the lead, so repentant Kuzco can search the secret lab for an antidote-elixir.

HOLA! WELCOME TO
THE KUZCO MUSICAL, OR, RATHER,

THE KUZICAL!

I LOVE KUZICLES.

THERE'S MANGO FLAVOR,
BANANA.

THE ROOT BEER ONE'S GOOD.

UGH. THEME MUSIC!

[MARCH PLAYS]

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE THAT TEST ♪



♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S GONNA LEAD ♪

YOU KNOW,
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.

♪ EXACTLY ♪
LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN
HIS ABCs ♪

DON'T TRY TO STOP HIM,
TO TOP HIM!

TO DESTROY HIM,
RIGHT?
UH...

♪ K-U-Z-C-O! ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪

♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM READ ♪

♪ THAT THING CALLED BOOKS ♪

♪ HE'S GOING TO
KUZCO ACADEMY ♪



♪ HE'S GONNA FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS
ARE LOYAL ♪

♪ IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP HIM
'GAINST THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT
THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HA HA!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN.

♪ K-U-Z-C-O! ♪

♪ KUZCO, KUZCO, GO, GO! ♪

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DISNEY ABC CABLE NETWORKS GROUP

THUS, IN ACCORDANCE,
WITH THE, QUOTE, UNQUOTE,
"OFFICIAL HISTORY,"

KUZCO CREATED THE UNIVERSE...

WITH A BURP.

[RUMBLING]

NOW WHAT?

Malina:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,

KUZCO ACADEMY
IS BANKRUPT?

HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

MOVE THE ENTIRE
ACADEMY BUILDING
ONE INCH TO THE LEFT.

[DRILLS]

BUT UNLESS SOMEONE
COMES UP WITH
5,000 KUZCOINS,

KUZCO ACADEMY
WILL BE TORN DOWN!

BUT SHOULDN'T WE
GET A CHANCE TO
RAISE THE MONEY?

FINE. I'LL GIVE YOU
5 MINUTES.

FOR 5,000 KUZCOINS?

WE NEED AT LEAST 4 DAYS.

ONE DAY.
3 DAYS.

TWO DAYS.
DEAL.

FINE. UNLESS YOU
RAISE 5,000 KUZCOINS
IN TWO DAYS,

KUZCO ACADEMY
WILL BE TORN DOWN!

TALK ABOUT BRILLIANT!

WITH KUZCO ACADEMY GONE,
KUZCO CAN NEVER GRADUATE,

AND THEN I SHALL BECOME...

EMPRESS YZMA!

[THUNDER]

NO MORE SCHOOL?
COOL BEANS!

I'M FREE!

NOT SO FAST,
NATURE BOY.

NO SCHOOL
MEANS NO GRADUATION,

WHICH MEANS
YOU WON'T BE EMPEROR.

UH-OH. THAT MEANS
NO MORE ME TV SHOW

AND NO MORE
THEME MUSIC.

[MARCH PLAYS]

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

STOP THE MUSIC.

THIS IS NOT SOME
MUSICAL THEATER PRODUCTION

WHERE PEOPLE BREAK OUT
INTO LAME SONGS
AND PHONY DANCES.

THAT'S IT!

THAT'S HOW WE CAN
RAISE THE MONEY.

YOU, ME,
ALL OUR FRIENDS,
THE WHOLE SCHOOL!

WE'LL PUT ON
A MUSICAL!

[UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ WE ARE YOU TWO
SINGING TO YOU ♪

♪ WHAT SHALL WE DO? ♪

[COMPUTERIZED VOICE]
♪ YOU TWO ♪

♪ YOU TWO ♪

NEXT.
NEXT.

♪ IT'S CREAMER
FOR YOUR COFFEE ♪

♪ AND YOUR PILL BUG STEW ♪

♪ I MAY JUST BE A WAITRESS,
BUT I GOT A TIP FOR YOU ♪

♪ I'M GONNA BE A STARRRR ♪

NEXT.
NEXT.

♪ THIS SONG'S ABOUT KUZCO ♪

♪ AND HERE'S THE BIG NEWS-CO ♪

♪ IF EVER I HAD TO CHOOSE-CO ♪

♪ I'D ALWAYS CHOOSE KUZCO ♪

I LIKE IT.

NEXT.

♪ OUR LOVE IS LIKE
A WET VULTURE DROWNING
IN ITS OWN TEARS ♪

♪ OUR LOVE IS LIKE
A SPICY DINNER SPECIAL ♪

♪ AT THE CLEAN
BUT MODERATELY PRICED DINER ♪

♪ OUR LOVE IS LIKE
A POORLY WRITTEN LOVE SONG ♪

♪ SCRAWLED ON A WET NAPKIN
MINUTES BEFORE GOING ONSTAGE ♪

AH, NEXT.

♪ YOU SEE ME IN THE CLASSROOM

♪ WHERE I'M TEACHING BRATS
ALL DAY ♪

[BLAAT]

♪ BUT I TAKE OFF MY SUIT
AS SOON AS I CAN GET AWAY ♪

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

♪ 'CAUSE DRESSING
LIKE A MONKEY ♪

EEP EEP!

♪ IS THE WAY I LIKE TO PLAY ♪

OH! NEXT.

UGH. PLEASE, NEXT.

♪ LA LA LA
LA LA LA ♪

♪ LA LA LA
LA LA LA ♪

NEXT.
NEXT.

♪ YO, MY NAME IS PUFFY KRONK,
AND I'M HERE TO SAY ♪

♪ I GOT A RECIPE OF RHYMES
AND A RAP BUFFET ♪

♪ MY MESSAGE IS AS BAD
AS A BURNT SOUFFLE ♪

♪ WHILE MY RAP'S ON FIRE
LIKE A CHEESE FLAMBE ♪

[SCRATCHING]

WORD.

AWW.
EVERYBODY STINKS.

WE'RE DOOMED.

IF BY "DOOMED,"
YOU MEAN "SAVED," YES.

I'VE GOT IT ALL
FIGURED OUT.

YOU BE THE HOTTIE HOT
LEAD GIRL.

ME?

OHH.
THAT'S SO SWEET.

AND THEN I WILL PLAY
THE ROMANTIC MANLY MAN LEAD.

YOU, ME,
A BIG FINALE KISS--

PEOPLE WILL TOTALLY
PAY TO SEE THAT.

AND...A STAR IS BORN!

WE'RE DOOMED.

NO, WE'RE NOT,
Y'ALL.

I WAS TALKING
TO CUXI, WHO WAS
TALKING TO RICA--

WHO JUST DUMPED
HER HONEY--

BUT HE KNOWS
THIS FELLA

WHO GIVES HAIRCUTS
TO THE STARS.

THEY'RE ACTUALLY
SUPER CUTE.

GET TO THE POINT!

I FOUND
OUR MALE LEAD!

WHO?

Man on P.A.: NOW ARRIVING
AT CORRAL 3,

THE VOICE OF COOL HIMSELF,

THE TEEN MEGASTAR
OF ALL TEEN MEGASTARS...

DIRK BROCK!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

SING FOR US, DIRK!

OH. UM, THIS IS...
SO UNEXPECTED.

I'M REALLY NOT PREPARED,
BUT, UH...

ARE YOU READY?

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

ARE YOU READY?

ARE YOU READY?

COME ON!

LET'S BROCK!

♪ I WON'T TAKE HER FOR GRANTED ♪

♪ MY HEART IS NOT A STONE ♪

♪ IF I CAN GET A LITTLE BOLDER ♪

♪ I MIGHT HOLD HER AS MY OWN ♪

♪ LIKE A PARROT AND A FALCON ♪

♪ THE RIPPLE BURNED MY SOUL ♪

♪ SO LISTEN TO MY SENTIMENTAL,
HOLLOW ROCK AND ROLL ♪

♪ EVERYBODY, LET'S BROCK ♪

♪ EVERYBODY, LET'S BROCK ♪

♪ DON'T JUST STAND AND GAWK ♪

♪ NO GAWKERS ♪

♪ EVERYBODY ♪

♪ LET'S BROCK! ♪

♪ HE LIKES TO BROCK ♪
♪ WHOA ♪

♪ SHE LIKES TO BROCK ♪

♪ SHE'S BROCKING ♪

♪ I LIKE
TO BROCK ♪
♪ YEAH, I DO ♪

♪ WE LIKE TO BROCK,
LET'S BROCK! ♪

STOP!

♪ DON'T BROCK THE BOAT
NOW, BABY ♪

♪ WE'RE SOLID AS A BROCK ♪

♪ SO GET ON OUT OF
THAT ROCKING CHAIR ♪

♪ AND, EVERYBODY,
LET'S BROCK ♪

WHOO!

♪ YEAH, BABY
YEAH, BABY ♪

♪ LLAMAS LIKE TOO ♪

BAA!

♪ SQUIRRELS LIKE TO ♪

[CHATTERING]

♪ MAMAS LIKE TO ♪
I CAN
DIG IT.

♪ GIRLS LIKE TO ♪

[GIGGLING]

♪ BREAK IT DOWN NOW ♪

♪ GO LOWER ♪

♪ GO LOWER ♪

♪ GO LOWER ♪

♪ WE HIT ROCK BOTTOM ♪

Crowd: ♪ EVERYBODY,
LET'S BROCK... ♪

♪ COME ON, BABY ♪

♪ YEAH, GIRL ♪

♪ TICK TOCK ♪

WHOO!

♪ ALL THE GIRLS,
SAY BROCK! ♪
♪ BROCK! ♪

♪ ALL THE GUYS
SAY ROLL ♪

♪ ROLL ♪

♪ HE LIKES
TO BROCK ♪
♪ BAM ♪

♪ SHE
LIKES TO BROCK ♪

♪ BAM ♪

♪ I LIKE
TO BROCK ♪
♪ WHOO-HOO ♪

♪ WE LIKE TO ♪

♪ BROCK! ♪

YEAH...

IS IT JUST ME,
OR WERE THERE ONLY,
LIKE, 3 LYRICS

IN THAT SONG?

HE'S PERFECT!
WITH DIRK BROCK...

[GIRLS SCREAM]

THE ACADEMY IS
AS GOOD AS SAVED.

HE'S JUST SO DREAMY.

HEY, I'M DREAMY.

HA HA HA!

OHH. THAT DIRK,
JERK BROCK.

I MEAN, THAT JERK,
DIRK BROCK.

[GIRLS SCREAM]

HE ISN'T GONNA STEAL
MY STARRING ROLE.

HE'S GOING DOWN!

YOU SHOULD HAVE
SEEN IT, YZMA!

HERE IN OUR VILLAGE,
DIRK BROCK!

[GIRLS SCREAM]

HE WAS ALL SINGING
AND EVERYTHING!

PEOPLE WERE SCREAMING.

I THINK HE LOOKED AT ME.

I BLACKED OUT,
BUT I'M SURE THAT HE ENDED
WITH HIS SIGNATURE MOVE,

BOOM, BAM, BOOM!

YOU SURE SEEM TO KNOW
A LOT ABOUT DIRK BROCK.

[GIRLS SCREAM]

I KNOW. HE'S AWESOME!

OHH. TOO AWESOME.

THOSE KIDS MAY ACTUALLY
RAISE 5,000 KUZCOINS.

MORE LIKE 5,000 GAZILLION!

I CAN'T BELIEVE
MY BRILLIANT PLANS
COULD BE FOILED

BY SOME MUSICAL!

STUPID, STUPID
MUSICALS!

FOR SOMEONE WHO SINGS
ALL THE TIME,

YOU SURE SEEM
TO HATE MUSICALS.

I DON'T SING
ALL THE TIME!

SURE YOU DO.
NO, I DON'T.

YEAH, YOU DO.
NO, I DON'T.

FINE,
YOU DON'T.
THAT'S RIGHT!

BUT YOU DO.

AH, FORGET IT, KRONK.

WE HAVE MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS TO DO,

NAMELY SOMETHING
REALLY EVIL.

FIRST, I PUBLISH
A JUICY TELL-ALL BOOK,

"DIRK'S SECRETS,"

BUT IT WILL ACTUALLY BE
A PACK OF LIES!

MY PUBLISHERS WILL GIVE ME
A HUGE ADVANCE,

WHICH I WILL USE TO BUY
EVERY TICKET TO THE MUSICAL.

SO, YOU'RE GONNA
BUY EVERY TICKET.

THAT'S THE PLAN,
STAN.

YEAH. SO, THE SCHOOL
WILL GET ALL THE MONEY
IT NEEDS.

YES, THE SCHOOL
WILL GET
ALL THE MONEY IT--

OH.

WELL,
WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE?

HA! NOTHING.
THIS ONE'S ALL ON YOU.

YOU CAN COUNT ME OUT.

DIRK IS AN ARTISTE,
AND I HAVE A BACKSTAGE PASS.

FIGURES.

GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE
TO USE OLD RELIABLE.

YOU MEAN A POTION?

NO, A HAMMER!

[THUNDER]

CLASSIC.

Dirk: ♪ EVERYBODY, LET'S BROCK ♪

♪ EVERYBODY, LET'S BROCK ♪

♪ DON'T JUST STAND AND GAWK ♪

♪ NO GAWKERS ♪

♪ EVERYBODY ♪

♪ LET'S BROCK! ♪

♪ HE LIKES TO BROCK ♪
♪ WHOA ♪

♪ SHE LIKES TO BROCK ♪

Dirk: AAH!

WHOO-HOO! I DID IT.

I SANDBAGGED DIRK BROCK.

[GIRLS SCREAM]

NO, I'M FINE.
NICE CATCH, BUDDY.

BUDDY?
[GASP]

[THUD]

KUZCO,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

UH...

THINK, KUZCO, THINK.

THINKETY THINK,
THINK THINK THINK.

GOT IT!

UH...I MEANT TO SAY,

I DID IT!
I SAVED DIRK BROCK...

[GIRLS SCREAM]

FROM A RAVENOUS,
RABID SANDBAG.

DONE?
YEP.

HOW COULD YOU?

WE'RE ALL TRYING
OUR BEST TO
SAVE THE SCHOOL

SO YOU'LL GET TO BE
EMPEROR,

BUT YOU'RE
DESTROYING ALL THAT

OVER WHO GETS TO
STAR IN THE MUSICAL.

I WANT TO BE THE STAR!
THE STAR! THE STAR! THE STAR!

KUZCO, JUST WHEN
I WAS STARTING
TO LIKE YOU...

YOU WERE?

YOU DO SOMETHING
AWFUL LIKE THIS.

WELL, COME ON.
I'M BETTER THAN HE IS,

WITH THE BAM, BAM, BOOM!

OUT, KUZCO. GET OUT!

OHH.

STUPID MUSICAL.

MY DARLING,

WHEN I FIRST
LAID EYES ON YOU,

AT THAT SKI PARFAIT
KARAOKE...

LESS TALK,
MORE KISS.

Kuzco: STOP!

[COMPUTERIZED VOICE]
♪ KUZCO DANCE ♪

♪ OOH, OOH ♪

♪ KUZCO DANCE ♪

♪ OOH, OOH ♪

♪ BOOM, BABY, BOOM, BABY,
I'M YOUR MAN ♪

♪ ME, THE STAR,
YOU, MY NUMBER ONE FAN ♪

♪ I'M SO CHILL,
I'M COOLER THAN COOL ♪

♪ I'M THE STARRY STAR
THAT'LL SAVE OUR SCHOOL ♪

♪ SO PLEASE NOW, MALINA,
WON'T YOU BE MY QUEEN-A? ♪

♪ I LIKE TRAMPOLINE-AS ♪

WHAT?

♪ GET UP ♪
♪ AND DO THE ♪

♪ KUZCO DANCE ♪

♪ YAY, ME ♪

♪ WHOA, OH,
WHOA, OH, WHOA ♪

♪ DO THE KUZCO DANCE ♪

♪ I'M DANCING ♪

♪ HE'S DANCING,
HE'S DANCING ♪

♪ DO THE KUZCO DANCE ♪

♪ WHOA, OH,
WHOA, OH, WHOA ♪

♪ DO THE ♪

♪ KUZCO DANCE ♪

♪ YEAH ♪

♪ HANDS UP ♪

♪ TO THE HIGHEST HEIGHT ♪

♪ BOW DOWN ♪

♪ TO MY MIGHTY MIGHT ♪

♪ GIVE GIFTS ♪

♪ HEH HEH! OUT OF SIGHT ♪

♪ DOING THE KUZCO DANCE
ALL NIGHT ♪

[COMPUTERIZED VOICE]
♪ KUZCO DANCE ♪

♪ OOH, OOH ♪

Women: ♪ GET FUNKY WITH KUZCO,
NOT THAT OTHER GALOOT ♪

♪ HAVE YOU EVER SEEN KUZCO
IN HIS BIRTHDAY SUIT? ♪

♪ HE'S STRONG, HE'S BRAVE,
HE'S PASSIONY ♪

♪ AND EVEN ROLLER DISCO
FASHIONY ♪

♪ HIS COLLAR'S AS BIG
AS HIS BELL BOTTOM PANTS ♪

♪ COME ON,
EVERYBODY
♪ DO THE ♪

♪ KUZCO DANCE ♪
YAY, ME!

♪ WHOA, OH,
WHOA, OH, WHOA ♪

♪ DO THE KUZCO DANCE ♪

AND HERE'S HOW YOU DO IT.

HANDS UP.

♪ TO THE HIGHEST HEIGHT ♪

BOW DOWN.

♪ TO HIS MIGHTY MIGHT ♪

GIVE GIFTS.

♪ GET OUT OF SIGHT ♪

♪ KUZCO DANCE
ALL OVER THE FLOOR ♪

♪ KUZCO DANCE, SO SUPERIOR ♪

♪ KUZCO DANCE,
NOW EVERYBODY ROAR ♪

♪ YOU DID IT ON THE FLOOR,
NOW DO IT SOME MORE ♪

♪ THE KUZCO DANCE ♪

♪ ALL THE LADIES IN THE HOUSE,
SHAKE YOUR BOOTY LIKE THIS ♪

♪ THE KUZCO DANCE ♪

♪ ALL MALINAS IN THE HOUSE,
COME ON, GIVE ME A KISS ♪

♪ DO THE DANCE ♪

Kuzco: IT'S IN THE LYRICS,
SO YOU HAVE TO DO IT.

[GASP]

[SIGH]

MAN, I CAN'T EVEN KISS HER
IN MY OWN DREAM.

THAT SETTLES IT.

IF ANYONE'S GONNA STAR
IN MY ME-SICAL MUSICAL,

IT'S GONNA BE ME.

FOILED! I HATE BEING FOILED!

ESPECIALLY BY THIS HORRIBLE,
AWFUL, RIDICULOUS MUSICAL!

OH.
SOMEONE HAS ISSUES.

I DO NOT.

NOW BACK TO
THE PROBLEM AT HAND.

LET'S SEE. PEOPLE
LOVE DIRK BROCK....

[GIRLS SCREAM]

BECAUSE HE'S
THE SO-CALLED
VOICE OF COOL.

BUT THEY WON'T LOVE HIM
IF HE HAS A STUPID VOICE.

WITHOUT THE VOICE OF COOL,
IT'LL BE THE END OF SCHOOL.

SORT OF RHYMES. KRONK!

IF YOU'RE STILL SCHEMING
AGAINST DIRK BROCK,

REMEMBER TO COUNT ME OUT.

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.

BUT FOR A COMPLETELY
UNRELATED REASON,

NOTHING AT ALL TO DO
WITH DIRK BROCK...

[GIRLS SCREAM]

I NEED TO GIVE SOMEONE
A REALLY STUPID VOICE.

OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH!
YOU MEAN IT'S--IT'S--IT'S--

THAT'S RIGHT.

YAY! POTION-TESTING TIME!
POTION-TESTING TIME!

[THEATRICAL MALE VOICE]
I'M A FAMOUS PERFORMER,
AND I SOUND STUPID!

THAT DOESN'T SOUND STUPID.
IT SOUNDS SOPHISTICATED
AND WORLDLY.

[KRONK'S VOICE]
HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?
KIND OF STRANGE.

MAKES YOU TALK
ALL FAST...THEN SLOW.

AND THEN ADD A WORD.
WEIRD.

NOW, THAT IS DISTURBING.

NOBODY TALKS THAT WAY.
HERE, LET ME TRY...IT.

[GILBERT GOTTFREID]
AHA! TESTING 1, 2.

[SCOFF]
HOW HORRIBLY ANNOYING.

I THINK I'D RATHER
HAVE NO VOICE AT ALL!

WAIT. THAT'S IT!

NO! YOU ALREADY SAID
HORRIBLY ANNOYING!
MAKE IT STOP!

NO, KRONK--
NO VOICE AT ALL.

EVEN BETTER THAN
GIVING HIM A STUPID VOICE...

WE'LL GIVE HIM...
LARYNGITIS!

[THUNDER]

KRONK, WHERE IS
THE LARYNGITIS POTION?

HEY, HEY!
SORRY ABOUT THE WHOLE,
UH, SANDBAG THING.

HERE IS A THROAT SPRAY

TO HELP YOUR SINGING...
OF SONGS.

SAY "AHH."

♪ AHH ♪

LOST HIS VOICE?

BUT HE'S DIRK BROCK.

[GIRLS SCREAM]

WITHOUT THE VOICE OF COOL,

WE'LL NEVER
SAVE THE SCHOOL.

HUH. SORT OF RHYMES.

MAYBE NO ONE
WILL FIND OUT?

UM, Y'ALL,
EVERYBODY FOUND OUT.

GUESS ONE OF THE HUNDREDS
OF PEOPLE I TOLD MUST HAVE
SPILLED THE BEANS.

♪ DO DO DO DOO ♪

FEAR NOT.
THE SHOW WILL GO ON.

I, KUZCO,
SHALL STEP IN

AND REPLACE
DIRK BROCK...

[GIRLS SCREAM]

WHICH I'M SURE
WE ALL SAW COMING.

WAIT A SECOND!
YOU ERASED DIRK'S VOICE.

SWIPED A POTION
FROM YZMA, I BET.

WHAT? NO! IT'S, UM,

YOU KNOW, THIS BUG
THAT'S GOING AROUND?

[COUGH]

I THINK I'VE GOT
A TOUCH OF IT MYSELF.

YEAH, GREAT.
THANKS, MAJOR SELFISH.

HERE WE ARE WORKING
OUR YOU-KNOW-WHATS OFF
TO SAVE YOUR SCHOOL,

AND YOU JUST FLUSHED
ALL OUR HARD WORK
DOWN THE TOILET!

I HATE YOU.

SHE LOVES ME.

KUZCO?

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

WELL, YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH,

I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT
FLUSHING EVERYONE'S HARD WORK.

I DON'T LOVE YOU!

WELL, THAT'S A NICE WAY
TO START A DATE.

THIS ISN'T A DATE!

AND I DON'T
NEED YOUR HELP.

BUT I ADMITTED MY WRONGS.

AREN'T YOU GONNA
REWARD ME WITH A KISS?

HUH?
HUH?

A DRESSING ROOM.

HA! GET THIS.

"MUSICAL THEATER
FOR BEGINNERS."

"SO YOU THINK
YOU'RE A THESPIAN."

"ACTING YOUR WAY
OUT OF A PAPER BAG,
VOLUME ONE."

AND AN APPLICATION TO
COMPETE ON "INCAN IDOL."

HA HA HA!

[GASP]
DO YOU REALIZE
WHAT THIS MEANS?

I'M STUMPED.

IT MEANS SOMEONE
HAS A SECRET WISH
TO PERFORM ONSTAGE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN MY SECRET LAB'S
SECRET ROOM

WITH THE SECRET ENTRANCE

THAT NO ONE'S EVER
SUPPOSED TO FIND?

UH, WE WERE LOOKING
FOR YOU...

TO STAR
IN THE ACADEMY MUSICAL.

WHAT?

NOT A CHANCE.
I'VE WON.

KUZCO ACADEMY
WILL BE TORN DOWN!

AND I, YZMA,
SHALL BECOME...

WAIT. HEH HEH HEH!

DID YOU SAY STAR?
ME?

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR
A SINGING WRINKLESAURUS.

IF WE'RE CASTING PEOPLE
NO ONE WANTS, CAST ME.

I'M JUST
KEEPING HER BUSY

WHILE YOU FIND
THE ANTIDOTE
FOR DIRK BROCK.

[GIRLS SCREAM]

STOP MUMBLING OVER THERE.

LET'S GET THIS SHOW GOING.

YZMA? UGH. LET'S GO.

WHO WANTS TO HEAR
A SINGING WRINKLESAURUS?

QUIETER THAN
A LADYBUG LIBRARY
IN A GATOR GRAVEYARD.

[SIGH]
SO MUCH FOR
SAVING THE SCHOOL.

HA HA! KING ME.

WELL?
WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

RAISE THE CURTAIN!

YES, MA'AM.

[FANFARE PLAYING]

NO ONE HAS
THIS MANY CURTAINS.

KUZCO? UGH.
WHAT'S TAKING HIM SO LONG?

WHERE ARE YOU?
WHERE ARE YOU?

ANTIDOTE.
ANTIDOTE. ANTIDOTE.

YOU LOOKING FOR THIS?

ESSENCE
OF SPINACH PUFF?

OH, I'M SORRY.
I MEAN...

LOOKING FOR THIS?

YES! YZMA'S ABOUT TO
STAR IN THE MUSICAL.

I KNEW SHE HAD ISSUES.

AHH. I'M FINALLY HOME.

IT'S BEEN A LONG AND BUMPY ROAD
TO GET HERE,

AND IF YOU'LL INDULGE ME,

IT ALL BEGAN
WHEN I WAS 3 YEARS OLD.

[GASP]
KUZCO, YOU FOUND IT.

TA-DA!

NO, NO. THIS ONE
REALLY IS TO
HELP YOUR VOICE.

COME ON, YOU GOT TO
GET OUT THERE.

FANS ARE WAITING

TO CHEER
AND APPLAUD AND...

WELL, NOT REALLY.

IT'S PRETTY MUCH
A GHOST TOWN.

BUT LOOK.
THIS SCHOOL MEANS
A LOT TO US.

AND IT TOOK
A LOT OF WORK,

BUT MY FRIENDS
REALLY CAME THROUGH,

FOR THE SCHOOL
AND FOR ME.

AND...AND...
PLEASE.

WHICH, 80-SOME YEARS LATER,

BROUGHT ME HERE TODAY.

IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN
THE FEELINGS I'M FEELING
RIGHT NOW.

BUT MAYBE THIS SONG WILL HELP.

♪ IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE
IN THE SPOTLIGHT TONIGHT ♪

♪ IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU
ALL HERE TO SEE ME ♪

♪ I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU
FOR THE LIMELIGHT INVITE ♪

♪ BY SINGING A MELODY
IN THE KEY OF ME ♪

♪ A ONE, A TWO, A 3 ♪

[GUITAR PLAYS
ROCK MUSIC]

♪ I SAY THIS SPOTLIGHT'S
A BROCKLIGHT ♪

♪ I FEEL THE BREEZE
OF MY FANS TO SEE ME ♪

♪ AND WITHOUT THE LARYNGITIS,
I GOT A TOUCH OF MIDAS ♪

♪ SO TAKE A LISTEN TO ME ♪

WHOO! COME ON!

DIRK BROCK!
DIRK BROCK!

DID YOU HEAR?

DID YOU HEAR?

DID YOU HEAR?

All: ♪ BROCK IS BACK,
IT'S MUSIC TO MY EARS ♪

♪ YOU KNOW THIS SPOTLIGHT'S
NOT BIG ENOUGH FOR TWO ♪

♪ PURPLE LADY,
WITH THAT I AGREE ♪

♪ BUT LIKE
A LIBRARY BOOK ♪

♪ MY SOLO IS DUE ♪

♪ BUT THE BROCK'S NOT DONE ♪

♪ JUST STEP ASIDE, SON ♪

♪ THIS IS YZMA
TERRITORY ♪

YAAA HA HA HA!

♪ GIVE ME ONE ♪

♪ GIVE ME TWO ♪

♪ GIVE ME 3 ♪

♪ I THINK WE'RE GONNA
SAVE THE ACADEMY ♪

♪ THIS STAGE IS MINE,
THIS IS MY DREAM ♪

♪ WAKE ME UP
WHEN THE NIGHTMARE
IS THROUGH ♪

♪ YOU'RE A FLASH
IN THE PAN ♪

♪ FROM THE TEENBOPPER
SCENE ♪

♪ WELL,
YOUR REASONING'S WACK ♪

♪ LET ME SHOW YOU THE FACTS ♪

♪ BAM, BAM ♪

WHOO!

[GIRLS SCREAMING]

♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪

♪ 3 MORE, TWO MORE
ONE MORE ♪

♪ EVERYBODY SHOUT ♪

♪ WE'RE ALL SOLD OUT ♪

KUZCO, LOOK.
IT'S A FULL HOUSE!

THE SCHOOL IS SAVED!

SORRY I HAD TO DO THINGS
THE HARD WAY.

I MEAN, THANKS FOR
STICKING UP FOR THE SCHOOL...

AND FOR ME.

IT REALLY MEANS A LOT.

[THINKING]
YES! TOUCHY-TOUCHY.

♪ THOSE KIDS WANT ME ♪

♪ CAN'T YOU HEAR THEM ROAR? ♪

♪ SOUNDS MORE
LIKE A SNORE,
I WOULD SAY ♪

♪ I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU,
YOU OLD DINOSAUR ♪

♪ YOU WANT
TO PLAY ROUGH? ♪

♪ I'LL SHOW YOU
WHO'S TOUGH ♪

♪ THIS MEANS WAR ♪

Both: ♪ SHUT UP AND PLAY ♪

[MUSIC STOPS]

WHAT? NO.
IT'S RUINED.

NOT IF I CAN HELP IT.
WATCH THIS.

♪ THE KUZCO DANCE ♪

♪ WHOA, OH, WHOA, OH, WHOA ♪

♪ DO THE KUZCO DANCE ♪

HANDS UP!

HEH HEH HEH!

THAT WENT A LOT BETTER
IN MY DREAM.

KUZCO, THIS IS NOT
ABOUT YOU.

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU,
EITHER, LADY.

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU OR YOU.
IT'S ABOUT ME.

OUR...ACADEMY.

♪ OUR ACADEMY AND YOU AND YOU ♪

♪ OUR ACADEMY AND YOU AND YOU ♪

♪ OUR ACADEMY,
IT'S US AND YOU AND ME ♪

♪ OUR ACADEMY ♪

♪ AND YOU AND YOU ♪

♪ OUR ACADEMY ♪

♪ AND YOU AND YOU ♪

Both: ♪ OUR ACADEMY,
IT'S US AND YOU AND ME ♪

♪ OUR ACADEMY ♪

Both: ♪ AND YOU AND TWO ♪

♪ OUR ACADEMY ♪

♪ ME AND YOU AND YOU ♪

♪ OUR ACADEMY,
IT'S US AND YOU AND ME ♪

HEY, WHERE'S THE KISS?

EVERY MUSICAL HAS TO END
WITH A KISS. HEH HEH!

OK, BUT THIS IS
NOT A DATE.

WOW!

All: ♪ OUR ACADEMY
AND YOU AND ME ♪

♪ OUR ACADEMY AND YOU AND YOU ♪

♪ OUR ACADEMY,
IT'S US AND YOU AND ME ♪

♪ TOGETHER ♪

♪ TOGETHER ♪

♪ FOREVER ♪

♪ OUR ACADEMY ♪

Yzma:
HA HA HA!

WHAT ARE YOU
STARING AT?

WE KISSED,
AND YOU SAID, "WOW."

IT'S CALLED ACTING.
WASN'T REAL.

YES, IT WAS.
NO, IT WASN'T.

YES, IT WAS.

NO, IT WASN'T.

YES, IT WAS.
NO, IT WASN'T.

YES, IT WAS.
NO, IT WASN'T.

YES, IT WAS.
NO, IT WASN'T.

YES, IT WAS.
NO, IT WASN'T.

YES, IT WAS.
NO, IT WASN'T.

YES, IT WAS.
YES, IT WAS.

NO, IT WASN'T.

GOTCHA! HEH HEH!

OH!

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