The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 2, Episode 1 - The Emperor's New Tuber/Room for Improvement - full transcript

HI THERE.
TODAY'S PUBLIC SERVICE TIP
IS CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER.

WELL, NOT NEVER.
9 OUT OF 10 DON'T,

BUT IF YOU'RE THAT ONE IN 10,
MORE POWER TO YA.

KIDDING. THEME MUSIC.

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY-- ♪

YOU KNOW,
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.



♪ EXACTLY ♪

♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOIN'
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN
HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY TO STOP HIM,
TO TOP HIM ♪

TO DESTROY HIM,
RIGHT?

UH...

♪ K-U-Z-C-O ♪

♪ KUZCO, KUZCO, GO, GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪

♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAN CAN HELP HIM ♪

♪ READ THAT THING CALLED BOOK ♪



♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOIN'
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON, KUZCO ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL ♪

♪ IT'S ROYAL, THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL-- ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT
THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH.
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN.

♪ K-U-Z-C-O ♪

♪ KUZCO, KUZCO,
GO, GO ♪

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DISNEY ABC CABLE NETWORKS GROUP

PACE, PACE. TURN.

PACE, PACE, PACE, TURN.

PACE, PACE, PACE--

[DING]
IDEA.

I NEED
A SCHEME SO DEADLY
AND DIABOLICAL,

SO OVER THE TOP
AND UNDERHANDED

IT WILL
ANNIHILATE KUZCO
ONCE AND FOR ALL.

HA HA HA HA HA!

HOW ABOUT A POTION?

OR, UH, A POTION?

OR MAYBE...

A POTION?

NAH. TOO LAST-SEASON
AND TOO UNRELIABLE.

[MONKEY SCREECHES]

YEAH. THE WHOLE
GORILLA LADY THING.

DISTURBING.

OHH. WHAT I NEED
IS A RELIABLE PIECE
OF EVIL MACHINERY.

WELL, WE SHOULD LOOK
IN THE SECRET ROOM
OF EVIL MACHINERY.

WHAT SECRET ROOM
OF EVIL MACHINERY?

THAT ONE.

[FANFARE PLAYING]

I DIDN'T KNOW
WE HAD THIS.

ONE STUDENT
AND, UH, ONE...

[WHISPERING]
Do you have anything
older than senior,

like seniorgrande?

OOH. I FEEL LIKE A KID
IN A CANDY STORE.

WELL, DON'T YOU MEAN
LIKE AN OLD LADY

IN A ROOM
FULL OF EVIL MACHINES?

[OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS]

MR. AND MRS. YZMASTINKS,
PARTY OF 2.

[SNICKERS]
THAT'S US.

MALINA?

I'M ABOUT TO BEAT
THE HIGH SCORE.

YEAH, BUT YOU'VE
ALREADY GOT
THE HIGH SCORE.

NOT ALL OF THEM.

MUST...WIN.

CAN'T...LOSE.

[BELL RINGS]

YES! IN YOUR FACE, LLAMA.

HEH HEH. I WIN. HEH HA.

[THINKING]
FOR A HOTTIE,
HOT HOTTIE,

SOMETIMES MALINA
CAN BE A WEIRDY,
WEIRD WEIRDO.

SO, UH, MALINA, WHAT WAS
THE DEALIO BACK THERE?

SO I'M COMPETITIVE.
I CAN'T HELP IT.

I WAS RAISED
TO DO WHATEVER
IT TAKES TO WIN.

ALWAYS A WINNER.
YEAH, I KNOW JUST HOW YOU FEEL.

IT'S A CURSE.

HI, Y'ALL.

WELCOME TO MUDKA'S
ORIGINAL MEAT HUT
EXPRESS NUMBER 12,

HOME OF THE MUG OF MEAT.

HMM. SOUNDS MEATYLICIOUS.

BELIEVE ME,
AS A LIFELONG
VEGETARIAN,

YOU DO NOT WANT
TO ORDER THE MEAT MUG.

MAY I SUGGEST
OUR SPECIALS?

POTATO STEAK,

POTATO RIBS,
POTATO PATE,

AND TO FINISH,
A GENEROUS HELPING

OF TRIPLE-LAYER
POTATO TRIFLE

WITH A WHIPPED
POTATO TOPPING.

WELL, SINCE I'M
ALLERGIC TO BORING,

I'LL HAVE THE MEAT MUG
AND ONE STRAW.

SCOOCH OVER, HONEY.
MY DOGS ARE KILLIN' ME.
HERE'S THE REAL 411.

I'M ONLY SERVIN' POTATOES
IN HONOR OF THIS WEEK'S
POTATO GROWIN' CONTEST.

[GASPS]
A POTATO CONTEST AT
THE POTATO FESTIVAL.

A FESTIVAL
AND A CONTEST.

A CONTEST
AND A FESTIVAL.
[GASPS]

A CONTESTIVAL.

♪ ONE POTATO, TWO POTATO,
THREE POTATO ♪ SNORE.

HEH. GOOD ONE, SIR.

NOW, THAT KID
KNOWS FUNNY.

HEY, I DIDN'T ORDER
CHEESE ON THIS.

HEH. GOOD ONE, SIR.

ANYWAY, WHAT KIND
OF COMPETITION-CRAZED LOON

WOULD WANT TO PARTICIPATE
IN SOMETHING AS LAME AS
A POTATO-GROWING CONTEST?

[CROWD CHEERING]

WOW. THE POTATO QUEEN
SIGNED MY POTATO.

OH, YOU CAN GIVE THE BILL
TO MRS. YZMASTINKS.

I CAN'T DECIDE BETWEEN
THE EVIL TIME MACHINE,

THE EVIL INVISIBILITY RAY,
OR THE EVIL MP3 PLAYER.

WHAT MAKES
THE MP3 PLAYER EVIL?

AH, IT ONLY PLAYS DISCO.

BARBARIC.

[GASPS] I'VE GOT IT!

[BOWLING PINS FALL,
CHICKEN SQUAWKS]

[PINBALL BUMPERS RING,
POWER DRILL WHIRS]

I'LL USE ALL THREE!

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

[WHIRRING,
DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

[SILENCE]

UH, AND, UH,
THAT ACCOMPLISHED
WHAT, EXACTLY?

GET ME 3 MORE MACHINES.

THAT'S A GOOD
WIDDLE POTATO.

YOU GROW FOR DADDY,
KUZCO II.

♪ ♪ ♪

I DIDN'T BECOME
CARROT QUEEN BY WORKING
WITH QUITTERS!

NOW GROW, DARN IT! GROW!

[SPROING]

HEY, MALINA,
YOUR COMPETITION IS EL LAME-O.

I HAVEN'T SEEN ONE POTATO.

[SIGHS] THAT'S
BECAUSE THEY GROW
UNDER THE DIRT.

GROSS."SPUDS FOR DUDS.
TOTALLY TUBULAR TUBERS.

EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW,
I LEARNED IN A POTATO PATCH."

WHAT ARE YOU FREAKIN' ABOUT?
YOU'LL DO FINE.

FINE? I CAN'T DO FINE.

I HAVE TO WIN, KUZCO.
I HAVE TO WIN,

AND RIGHT NOW I AM
DEFINITELY NOWHERE
CLOSE TO WINNING.

WHY DON'T YOU DO WHAT I DO
WHEN MY BACK IS UP
AGAINST A WALL? CHEAT.

LOOKY WHAT I GOT.
SUPER GROW POTION.

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?

STEP RIGHT UP.
EVERYTHING MUST GO.

NO OFFER TOO RIDICULOUS.

GIVE YOU A KUZCOIN
FOR THIS SUPER GROW POTION.

NOW, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

ARM-WRESTLE YOU FOR IT?

YOU PUT SUPER GROW
POTION ON YOUR ARMS.

NO, JUST THE RIGHT ONE.
IT WORE OFF, I THINK.

KUZCO, I DON'T CHEAT,
AND I'M NOT ABOUT
TO START NOW.

SUIT YOURSELF.

WE MUST FIND
THE MOST DIABOLICAL
MACHINE HERE.

THIS ONE'S CALLED
THE MINI-MAXIMIZER.

I WONDER WHAT IT DO--

[CHICKEN CLUCKS]

BLONK, STOB BLAYING AROUND
AND HELB BLE FIND SOMETHING.

[CHICKEN CLUCKS]

[CHICKEN CLUCKS]

[CHICKEN CLUCKS]

[HIGH-PITCHED]
KRONK, A LITTLE HELP.

SWEET GODS OF PERU,
MAKE IT STOP.

[CHICKEN CLUCKS]

AHH. NOW SHE'S
MORE HIDEOUSLY DEFORMED
THAN EVER!

KRONK.

OH. SORRY.

SUPER ANIMATOR 3000.

IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS?

IT'S BRILLIANT.

10 YEARS I'VE
WORKED FOR YOU,

AND YOU'VE NEVER
SAID THAT TO ME.

[SQUELCH]

[CROWD BOOING]

SHE SIGNED
MY POTATO,

AND NOW IT'S RUINED!

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

JUST A FEW DROPS.
WHO HAS TO KNOW?

OK, JUST DO IT QUICKLY
SO NO ONE SEES.

AREN'T YOU
SUPPOSED TO TELL ME
NOT TO DO IT?

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I WORKED
FOR OUR PERFECT RECORD?

YOU THINK
I WANNA LOSE A STINKING
POTATO GROWING CONTEST?

COME ON. LET'S
GO CHECK OUT THE LEGUMES
ON THOSE DANCING TATERS.

OOH-LA-LA.

UH, WHY'D WE COME
TO THE KUZCOARY
STATUARY SANCTUARY...

AREA.

TO FIND THAT.

IMAGINE HIS FACE
WHEN HE REALIZES

HE'S ABOUT TO SMASHED
BY HIMSELF.

HO HO HO.
OH, THE DELICIOUS IRONY.

HEH. YOU KNOW,
TECHNICALLY IT'S MORE OF
A HAPPY COINCIDENCE,

MAYBE POETIC JUSTICE,
BUT IRONIC, NOT REALLY.

SQUASH KUZCO.

I SAID SQUASH KUZCO.

WELL, LET'S CHECK
THE MANUAL.

THERE'S A MANUAL?

THERE'S ALWAYS A MANUAL.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU
DON'T READ 'EM,

BUT THEY'RE ALWAYS THERE.

WHAT'S IT SAY?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S ALL IN FRENCH,
OR IS THAT PORTUGUESE?

AH, HERE WE GO.

"WHEN ORDERING
YOUR EVIL CREATION
TO DO YOUR BIDDING,

BE SURE TO SPEAK
THE TARGET'S NAME 3 TIMES."

KUZCO, KUZCO, KUZCO.

TO THE VILLAGE SQUARE!

TIME TO CHOOSE THE WINNER

AND AWARD
THE TOP TATER TROPHY.

I WON
A POTATO EATING CONTEST.

THERE IS NO POTATO
EATING CONTEST.

ISN'T THAT A TOMATO?

YOU SAY, "TOH-MAHTO."
I SAY, "POTATO."

AMAZING,
INCREDIBLE...

AND DOWNRIGHT
SUSPICIOUS.

JUDGING BY
THE GINORMOUS SIZE
OF THIS POTATO,

I SUSPECT SOMEONE
MAY HAVE CHEATED,

AND THAT SOMEONE IS...

KUZCO!

WHAT?

KUZCO MUST HAVE GIVEN
MALINA'S POTATO

SOME KIND
OF SUPER GROW POTION.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

FIRST OF ALL,
I KNOW FOR A FACT

THAT MALINA WOULD
NEVER ALLOW HER POTATO
TO BE TAMPERED WITH.

KUZCO, DON'T.

LET ME HANDLE THIS,
MALINA.

SECONDLY, I AM SO POSITIVE
THAT HER POTATO IS PURE,

I BROUGHT THIS,
A POTATO TESTER.

IT CAN TELL A REAL ONE
FROM A POTION-ENHANCED ONE.

GO AHEAD. TEST IT.

[STOMP, STOMP]

[CROWD SCREAMS]

YEAH, YOU'RE
PROBABLY WONDERING

WHAT HAPPENED TO
THE REST OF THE STATUE.

THAT PART OF THE SHOW
MAY HAVE BEEN DELETED
DUE TO TIME CONSTRAINTS.

LET'S SEE.

HMM. MM,
IT SHOULD BE IN HERE.

NO. NO.

AH. THERE IT IS.

KUZCO, KUZCO, KUZCO.

TO THE VILLAGE SQUARE!

[SQUEAK]

[SNIFFS]
THAT POOR GORGEOUS STATUE
NEVER SAW IT COMING.

NOW BACK TO THE ACTION.

[CROWD SCREAMING]

RELAX, EVERYBODY.

IT'S ONLY
AFTER KUZCO.

WE CAN CONTINUE
AS PLANNED.

GREAT. LET'S GET
BACK TO THE JUDGING.

[PANTING]

WHOO-OOH.

LOOK, MAYBE WE GOT OFF
ON THE WRONG FOOT.

GUH-EE!

I AM PROUD NOW
TO AWARD FIRST, SECOND,
AND THIRD PRIZE

TO YZMA, YZMA, YZMA.

[SKIDS]

I'D LIKE TO THANK
THE ACADEMY,

AS WELL AS
MUDKA'S MEAT HUT.

SHE'S GONNA FORGET
TO THANK ME.

AND I'D LIKE
TO THANK KRO...
CODILE JIM...

[MUFFLED] WHO SOLD ME
MY FIRST CROCODILE.

I KNEW SHE'D FORGET
TO THANK ME.

YOU KNOW, KUZCO,
I'M GLAD THE GIANT,

STOMPING FOOT
DESTROYED MY POTATO,

BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT.

I DIDN'T DESERVE TO WIN.
I CHEATED.

PLEASE STOP.
THAT KIND OF TALK

HURTS MY DELICATE
SENSIBILITIES.

MMM, MMM.

IN THE CATEGORY
OF BEST NEW TASTE,

FIRST PLACE GOES
TO MALINA'S MASHED
POTATO SURPRISE.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'VE ADDED,

BUT I DETECT A HINT
OF AGED CHEESE

AND A SLIGHT
SWEET NOTE OF, UM...

[SMACKS]
WHAT IS IT?

COULD BE TOE JAM.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

SWEET. YOU DID THE WRONG THING
AND STILL GOT THE REWARD.

NOW, THAT'S THE KUZCO WAY.

NO, KUZCO.
BEING COMPETITIVE
IS FINE TO A POINT,

BUT NOT WHEN
IT OVERTAKES EVERYTHING

AND JEOPARDIZES
YOUR SELF-WORTH.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

THERE'S RIGHT,
AND THERE'S ENTERTAINING.

LET'S SEE
WHAT ELSE IS ON.

OOH. DINOSAURS.

Announcer: BUT MILLIONS
OF YEARS AGO,

A GREAT CHANGE
IMPACTED THEIR ENVIRONMENT,

[DISCO PLAYING]
AND THUS BEGAN

THE TRAGIC EXTINCTION
OF THE MIGHTY DINOSAURS.

Kuzco: HEY, LOOKIT.

IT'S MY BIG, ENORMOUS PALACE
WHERE I USED TO LIVE.

LOOKIT. THERE'S MY ENORMOUS
ROYAL DRESSING ROOM.

OOH, MY EMPEROR OUTFIT.
SO CUTE.

IN A MACHO WAY.

AND LOOKIT.
THAT'S MY ROYAL ROOM

WHERE I KEEP MY LEFT SANDAL,

AND THERE'S MY ROYAL ROOM
FOR MY RIGHT SANDAL.

OOH. AND HERE'S MY ROYAL ROOM
JUST FOR DESIGNING
MORE ROYAL ROOMS.

AND HERE'S MY TINY ROOM...

WITH NO ROOM.

UNTIL I GRADUATE AND
RESUME MY EMPERORSHIP,

I'M STUCK HERE
IN THE ARMPIT OF THE WORLD

WITH 2 DEVILS,
AKA CHACA AND TIPO.

WAIT.

THERE YOU GO.
THERE ARE THE DEVILS.

[CYMBALS CRASHING]

KUZCO,
I'M TRYING TO STUDY!

YEAH? WELL, I'M
TRYING TO PRACTICE.

YOU DON'T EVEN
PLAY THE CYMBALS.

YEAH, BECAUSE
I HAVEN'T PRACTICED.

THERE.

DONE?

[SHATTER]

NEED ME
SOME FEET ROOM.

[BLINK]

ANYBODY SEEN ANY MICE?

'CAUSE I GOTTA FEED
THESE PYTHONS.

[GIGGLING]
AHH!

PRIVATE KUZCO TIME.
PRIVATE KUZCO TIME.

YOU'RE RUINING
MY GROOVE.

IT'S NOT FAIR.
WE LIVE HERE,
TOO, YOU KNOW.

SINCE WHEN?
SINCE FOREVER.

NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.

NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.

NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.

NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.

NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.

COME ON, YOU GUYS.
KNOCK IT OFF.

FACE IT. YOU ALL HAVE TO
LIVE IN THE ATTIC,

SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO
FIND A WAY TO SHARE.

Kuzco: IT'S TIME
FOR KUZCO'S DOODLES.

THAT'S THE PART OF THE SHOW
WHERE I DEMONSTRATE

HOW TO SHARE, KUZCO-STYLE.

OK, HERE'S CHAKA,

TIPO, AND ME,

AND HERE, WE EACH GET
A FUNNY HAT.

THAT EQUALS SHARING.

WAIT. YOUR HATS
ARE FUNNIER THAN MINE.

AH. I KNOW.

TA-DA. LOOK AT ME!

I'M A HAT-WEARIN'
SHARE-MASTER.

HEH HEH. NOW LET ME SHOW YOU
HOW TO SHARE THE ATTIC.

THIS IS SHARING?

WHOA. FREE KIDS.

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE CHAKA
AND TIPO.

WHAT, DID YOU RUIN
SOMEONE'S GROOVE?

IT'S KUZCO. HE SAYS
AN EMPEROR NEEDS
HIS ROYAL ELBOWROOM.

WELL, WE DO, TOO.

JUST REGULAR ELBOWROOM,
THOUGH.

NOT ROYAL ELBOWROOM.

HEY, YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU NEED?
SPRING-CLEANING.

CLEAR OUT ALL
YOUR EXTRA JUNK.

THAT'LL FREE UP
LOTS OF SPACE,

PLENTY OF ROOM
FOR EVERYBODY.

SPRING-CLEANING?

EWW.

HA HA HA!
LUCKY FOR YOU

KRONK FOR HIRE
IS HERE. [DING]

KRONK FOR HIRE?

WHAT'S THAT?

Singers: ♪ WHEN YOUR HUT
IS SO UNCLEAN ♪

♪ YOU'VE GOT NO ROOM,
LIKE A SARDINE ♪

♪ CALL KRONK FOR HIRE
TO SPRING-CLEAN ♪

♪ 'CAUSE PRESTO,
HE'S ON THE SCENE ♪

♪ HE'LL SANITIZE
ALL YOUR LATRINES ♪

♪ AND DUST OFF EVERY FIGURINE ♪

♪ REORGANIZE YOUR TAMBOURINES ♪

♪ AND COLOR-CODE
YOUR JELLY BEANS ♪

♪ 'CAUSE KRONK FOR HIRE'S
ON THE SCENE ♪

♪ YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A SLOB ♪

♪ WHEN KRONK FOR HIRE
CAN DO THE JOB ♪

♪ SPRING-CLEANING
IS NOT A PROB ♪

♪ WHEN KRONK FOR HIRE
IS ON THE JOB ♪

♪ KRONK FOR HIRE ♪

Announcer: KRONK FOR HIRE
IS NOT AFFILIATED
WITH KRONK FOR LEASE.

GREAT.
PROBLEM SOLVED.

DO YOU DO WINDOWS?

NO, EVEN IF YOU HAD 'EM.

YOU CAN START
BY CLEARING OUT

ALL KUZCO'S EXTRA STUFF
FROM THE ATTIC.

UH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
TRADITIONALLY SPRING-CLEANING
BEGINS IN THE BASEMENT.

KUZCO'S GOT
LOTS OF KNICKKNACKS
DOWN THERE, RIGHT?

HIS IMPORTANT EMPEROR PAPER,
STUFF LIKE THAT, RIGHT? YES?

SO I'LL START DOWN THERE
IN THE BASEMENT.

[BIRD SQUAWKS]

SEE YA.

LET THE SPRING-CLEANING
BEGIN!

Tipo: HEY, THAT'S MINE.
DON'T THROW IT AWAY.

YEAH? WELL, DON'T
THROW THAT AWAY.

I'LL SETTLE IT.

NOW I'VE GOT ROOM
FOR THIS.

CAN YOU BELIEVE
SOMEONE WAS GONNA
THROW THAT OUT?

OK, LET ME MAKE THIS
PERFECTLY CLEAR.

I'M AN EMPEROR,
NOT A TRASH PICKER.

BUT CHECK OUT
ALL THIS COOL STUFF
OTHER PEOPLE THREW AWAY.

WHAT KIND OF A LLAMA BRAIN

THROWS AWAY
A ROLLER-COASTER CART?

THIS IS TOTALLY GOING
WHERE CHAKA AND TIPO'S
BUNK BEDS ARE.

AH. YOU'D BE AMAZED

HOW MANY OF THESE PUPPIES
I FIND LYIN' AROUND.

BUT TAKE MY ADVICE.
DON'T DRINK 'EM.

SERIOUSLY.

LOOKIT!
PERFECTLY GOOD PIANO.

[TUBA BLARES]

WELL, OK. TECHNICALLY
NO ONE THREW HER AWAY,

BUT SHE WAS
JUST STANDIN' THERE.

FINDERS KEEPERS.
OK, BACK TO THE SHOW.

ISN'T IT GREAT?

IT TAKES UP
THE WHOLE ROOM.

YEAH. WHERE ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO LIVE?

CALM DOWN.
I GOT YOU COVERED.

TA-DA!

IT'S A HAMSTER CAGE.

NO, IT ISN'T!
IT'S YOUR ROOM, SEE?

BUILT-IN GYM.
REFRESHMENT DISPENSER.

PANORAMIC VIEW.

THEN YOU LIVE IN IT.

EWW. NO.

IT'S A HAMSTER CAGE.

Kuzco: YEAH, WELL,
I NEED MY OWN SPACE.

Tipo: SO DO WE!
TOUGH!

Chaka: OH, YOU'RE SO MATURE.

NO, YOU ARE.
NO, YOU ARE.

NO, YOU ARE.
NO, YOU ARE.

NO, YOU ARE.

YO! QUIET DOWN UP THERE!

I'M TRYIN'
TO CLEAN UP DOWN HERE!

NOW, KRONK, DON'T
FORGET THE PLAN.

SEARCH THE BASEMENT

AND FIND
KUZCO'S OFFICIAL
EMPEROR'S PERMIT.

NEXT, I ERASE
HIS NAME AND
PUT MY NAME,

MAKING ME EMPRESS.

HA HA HA,
HA HA HA!

THEN WE CLEAR OUT
THESE PEASANTS

AND OPEN UP
OUR OWN SKATE PARK.

23 SKIDOO!

YEAH, BUT, UH, THIS PLACE
REALLY NEEDS SPRING-CLEANING.

I MEAN, LOOK AT ALL THIS.

YEAH. WHAT IS THIS?

I DON'T KNOW.
CLOUD ON A STICK.

IT'S NOT FAIR!

KUZCO ISN'T GETTING RID
OF ANY OF HIS STUFF.

I KNOW YOU ARE,
BUT WHAT AM I?

LOOK, WE UNDERSTAND
THAT EVERYONE NEEDS
THEIR OWN SPACE.

INCLUDING US,
SO YOU GUYS GO AWAY

AND FIGURE OUT
HOW TO DIVVY IT UP.

[SPLAT]

NIGHTY-NIGHT.

[BLINK BLINK]

UH, WHICH HALF
OF ME IS MINE?

Kuzco: TALK TO THE LINE.
IT'S OUT OF MY HANDS.

Chaka: WE DESERVE
OUR OWN SPACE, TOO.

Tipo: YEAH!

"I KNOW.
LET'S HAVE KIDS,"
YOU SAID.

"THEY'LL BE FUN."

HEY, YOU KNOW,
NOW THAT I CLEANED OUT

ALL THAT USELESS CLUTTER,
THERE'S TONS OF ROOM FOR
SOMEONE TO LIVE IN THE...

BASEMENT?
NO AND NO.

IT IS DARK AND
SMELLY AND NOT
FIT FOR HUMANS.

HAVE FUN.

NO. YOU TAKE
THE BASEMENT.

NO WAY.
YES, WAY.
YESHOW.

NOHOW.
BASEMENT, YOU.

IF I CAN'T
HAVE THE ATTIC,
THEN NO ONE CAN.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

AND THAT'S
ONLY A 1/37 SCALE

OF WHAT'S GONNA
HAPPEN UNLESS
I GET MY WAY.

Pacha: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

WE'LL SETTLE THIS
BY FLIPPING A KUZCOIN.

I CALL HEADS!
I CALL HEADS!

IT'S A KUZCOIN.
IT'S MY HEAD.

HERE GOES.

NEXT TIME, DON'T USE
THE SLOW-MOTION COIN.

HEADS.
AND THE KUZCO WINS.

♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH,
I ALWAYS GET MY WAY ♪

♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH,
I ALWAYS GET MY WAY ♪

HUH?

NO. WAIT. STOP.

THAT'S MY HOBO STICK.

[BLINK]

NO. WAIT. STOP. UM...

YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU TWO TAKE
THE UPSTAIRS.

THAT WHOLE
COZY ATTIC THING,

IT JUST DOESN'T
FIT IN WITH MY
EMPEROR-TO-BE GROOVE.

MM-HMM. WHO ARE YOU,

AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
WITH THE REAL KUZCO?

ALL RIGHT,
YOU GOT ME!
I CHEATED!

I USED
A DOUBLE-HEADED
KUZCOIN AND CHEATED.

THE GUILT
IS EATING ME
ALIVE! [SOBBING]

SO WE WIN!

YAY!

THAT'S RIGHT, AND
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.

I'LL BE FINE
IN THE BASEMENT,

EVEN IF IT IS DARK
AND SMELLY

AND NOT FIT FOR HUMANS.
[GULPS]

[AMPLIFIED]
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

THE BASEMENT
IS TOTALLY AWESOME.

LIKE IT, PACHA FAMILY?

WHOO-HOO!

NOW EVERYBODY
OUT OF MY ROOM.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ IT'S KUZCO'S
HOTTIE, HOT BACHELOR PAD ♪

♪ IT'S SWEET, IT'S NEAT,
IT'S TOTALLY RAD ♪

♪ KUZCO'S HOTTIE, HOT-- ♪

OH.
[MUSIC ENDS]

I, UH, THOUGHT WE
HAD FADED OUT THERE.

HEH. FADEY, FADEY.

WELL?

WHERE'S KUZCO'S
EMPEROR'S PERMIT?

HAND IT OVER.
GIMME, GIMME, GIMME.

I'M SORRY. I...

MIGHT HAVE THROWN IT AWAY.

IT WAS CLUTTER.
THAT PLACE WAS LIKE A JUNKYARD.

YOU SAW IT. I HAD TO.

KRONK!

[GASPING]

IT'S GOTTA BE
AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

[OWLS HOOTING]

UH-OH.

[GROWLING]

Announcer: NEXT WEEK,
ONKRONK FOR HIRE...

BUCKLE IN, GANG.
WE'VE GOT A SECRET LAB

IN SORE NEED
OF A FACE-LIFT.

KRONK FOR HIRE
IS ON THE JOB.

[AMPLIFIED]
HELLO, YZMA FAMILY!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DISNEY ABC CABLE NETWORKS GROUP

KRONK!

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.

Singers: ♪ KRONK FOR HIRE ♪