The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 1, Episode 3 - Empress Malina/The Adventures of Red-Eyed Tree Frog Man - full transcript

YOU KNOW, THERE ARE
AN AWFUL LOT OF SHOWS ON TV
THAT DON'T STAR ME,

SO, CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY
TO BE WATCHING A SHOW

THAT DOES STAR ME--KUZCO!

ALL RIGHTY!

THAT'S THE THEME MUSIC CUE.

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE
THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪



YOU KNOW, IT'S
ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪

EXACTLY!

LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪

♪ HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM ♪

♪ TO TOP HIM ♪
TO DESTROY HIM,

RIGHT?
UHH...

K! U! Z C O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪



♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪

♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪

♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪

♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP AGAINST
THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT
THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!

K! U! Z C O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

OK.

I GIVE UP.
WHAT IS IT?

8 LEGS ON THE HOOF
WITH A SIDE OF COW FEET

AND A CUP OF RED.

OCTOPUS DAY!

HEY MAUDIE, YOU THINK
YOU COULD SPLASH

SOME YELLOW PAINT
ON THAT,

AND A COUPLE OF
RED WAGON WHEELS?

JUST TRY
TO STOP ME.

HEYA, KRONK.
EXCITED ABOUT

THE KUZCOTEQUE
TONIGHT?

THE KUZCOTEQUE?

OH, RIGHT,
THE ANNUAL SCHOOL DANCE.

THE DANCE NAMED
AFTER YOU.

COMBINING YOUR NAME KUZCO
WITH THE WORD DISCOTHEQUE,

THUS GIVING US
THE CLEVER NAME

KUZCOTEQUE.

THAT KUZCOTEQUE?

EXACATACKILY.

BUT YOU FORGOT
THE MOST IMPORTANT PART.

MALINA IS THIS YEAR'S
KUZCOTEQUE EMPRESS.

THAT MEANS SHE IS
AUTOMATICALLY MY DATE
FOR THE DANCE.

NOT YOURS, MINE.
NOT YOURS, MINE.

YOURS? NO. MINE? YES.

AAH! HERE SHE COMES.

HEH HEH! MALINA.

OH. I THOUGHT
I SAW KRONK.

Kronk:
I'M OK.

HUH? NO.
NO KRONK.

SO, UH, YOU'RE
THIS YEAR'S
EMPRESS, HMM?

YES! I JUST
HEARD ABOUT IT
THIS MORNING.

WHEN THE ANNOUNCEMENT
CAME IN...

WOW. SHE IS SUCH

A HOTTIE-HOT-HOTTIE.

SOMEDAY,
AFTER WE GRADUATE,

MALINA WILL BE
MY REAL EMPRESS.

SHE'S SO PERFECT.

PERFECT HAIR,
PERFECT LIPS,

PERFECT EYES.

IT'S GONNA BE
A PERFECT KUZCOTEQUE.

YAMALLAMA!
IS THAT A ZIT?

IT IS!
IT'S A ZIT!

A PIMPLE! IT'S RUINING
MY PERFECT PERFECTION.

HUH! SHE'S TALKING TO YOU.
WHAT'S SHE SAYING?

UH, I CAN'T STOP
LOOKING AT IT!

BE CAREFUL. CAREFUL.
DON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD.

DON'T SAY IT.

YOU HAVE A ZIT!
OOPS.

OK, YES, EAGLE EYE,

I HAVE A SMALL BLEMISH.

IS THIS GONNA THROW OFF
YOUR GROOVE?

NO, NO,
I'M SURE ZIT WON'T.

I MEAN ZIT WON'T.

IT--ZIT--
WON'T BE A--

IT WON'T BE A PROBLEM.
HA HA HA!

[SIGHS] YOU ARE
SO SUPERFICIAL.

WOW.

SHE CALLED ME
SUPER...SOMETHING.

BUT THEN
SHE WALKED AWAY.

CUCKOO.

SORRY TO INTERRUPT
SO EARLY IN THE SHOW,

BUT I GOTTA KNOW MORE ABOUT
THIS SUPER THING.

ALL RIGHT,
LET'S SEE HERE. UM...

OK, HERE IT IS.
"SUPERFICIAL."

"NOT PROFOUND. SHALLOW."

SHALLOW? ME?

WHOA, WAIT A SECOND.

I'M NOT SHALLOW.
I'M NOT A ZITOPHOBE.

IN FACT, I MEAN,
MALINA'S ZIT IS

JUST ONE TINY,
LITTLE SKIN BLEMISH.

I MEAN, OVERALL,
SHE'S STILL VERY MUCH
A HOTTIE.

BUT THE POINT IS,
IT'S A FLAW.

SEE, AS EMPEROR,
I CAN'T HAVE ANY
OF THOSE FLAW THINGS.

BAD FOR THE REPUTATION.

AND IF MY EMPRESS HAS
A FLAW, THEN SO DO I.

AND BY THE WAY,

WOULD YOU EAT THIS?

OK, OK, LET'S GET ON
WITH IT.

WOW, KRONK.
I CAN'T BELIEVE

YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING
TO HELP ME OUT
WITH THIS ZIT THING.

HEY, I'M TOTALLY
WITH YOU ON THAT
FLAWLESS THING.

PERFECTION IS
ITS OWN REWARD,

THAT'S WHAT MA SAYS.

ALSO, "STOP THAT,
OR IT'S BACK TO
THE CIRCUS."

GOOD TIMES,
THE CIRCUS.

BUT CAN YOU REALLY MAKE
A ZIT-DESTROYING POTION?

WELL, IT'S NOT
SO MUCH A POTION

AS IT IS
AN ELIXIR.

YOU SURE YZMA--
I MEAN PRINCIPAL AMZY--

ISN'T AROUND?
YEAH.

I'M SURE.

PULL THE LEVER,
KRONK!

Man on P.A.:
PLEASE SCREAM LIKE GIRLS

UNTIL THE RIDE COMES TO
A COMPLETE STOP.

[BOTH SCREAMING]

WHOO!

Man over speaker:
WELCOME TO SECRET LAB.
TAKE YOUR ORDER?

SECRET LAB BURGER.

NAH.

THIS IS PERFECT,
PERFECT, PERFECT!

STEP ONE--CONCOCT
A MAGIC POTION TO
DESTROY MALINA'S ZIT.

Kronk: ELIXIR.
ELIXIR. WHATEVER.

STEP 2--APPLY
SAID ELIXIR
TO SAID BLEMISH.

STEP 3--
BOOGIE UNTIL DAWN.

OW! BOOGIE WOOGIE
OOGIE BOOGIE BOO!

WHOO-HOO!

HEY, KRONKSTER,
WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG

WITH THE ELIXIR
POTION THINGY?

COMING UP.

[PUFFS]

THAT IT?

YEAH, THAT'S
PRETTY MUCH IT.

WELL, THANKS AGAIN.
BYE-BYE.

YEAH, SEE YOU.

YOU, UH, GONNA NEED
THE EMPTY BACK?

NAH, YOURS TO KEEP,
BUDDY.

REALLY? YOU SURE?

HMM, SEEMS
SO STURDY, YOU KNOW?

LIKE, UH,
PROFESSIONAL GRADE.

IT IS, IT IS.
I BUY 'EM IN BULK
AT THE OUTLET.

AH. I SEE.

HMM.

COME ON,
COME ON, COME ON.

WHEW. THOUGHT
HE'D NEVER LEAVE.

THAT POOR,
GULLIBLE FOOL.

HE REALLY THINKS
HE'S GETTING HELP
FROM KRONK.

BUT I'M YZMA.

MAMA PERU!

DID I JUST UNSCREW
MY HEAD OFF,
AND I'M YZMA?

OHH, I WISH
I COULD SEE HIS FACE--

OR, RATHER, HER FACE--

WHEN HE SPRAYS
THAT ELIXIR ON MALINA.

YZMA! ME!

BUT--CAN'T.
IMPOSSIBLE!

AAH!

AAH! OHH!

AAH!

MAKE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN,
MONKEY.

MAKE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

I DON'T WANT TO BLOW
MY OWN HORN HERE,

BUT THIS MAY BE
THE CLEVEREST IDEA
I'VE EVER HAD.

I'M SORRY ABOUT
THE ZIT THING.

HERE IS SOME PERFUME.

CLEVEREST IDEA EVER.

PERFUME?

[COUGHS]

WHAT IS THAT?
YUCK!

UH,EAU DU ELIXIR.

IT'S FRENCH.

HEY! IT WORKED!

ZIT IS GONE!
ZIT NO MORE.

MY FLAWLESS PERFECTION
IS SAVED.

[WOLF HOWLS]

HOLD IT--
YOU'RE HOWLING IN
YOUR HEAD, AREN'T YOU?

ALL RIGHT.
WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?

AAH! YOU'RE
A TOUCAN FACE!

[LAUGHING]

THAT WASN'T PERFUME.
IT WAS SOME WEIRDO POTION!

ELIXIR, ACTUALLY.

WHAT? NO ONE WILL
NOTICE A ZIT

IF I HAVE
A GIANT FREAK BEAK?

NO, I WANTED
TO TURN YOU
INTO A BIRD.

[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
PRETTY BIRD.

MALINA WANT
A CRACKER? HA HA!

[CHATTERS]

Kuzco: YOU GAVE ME
A PHONY ELIXIR.

IT ADDED A BEAK INSTEAD
OF SUBTRACTING A ZIT.

YOU'RE TRYING TO RUIN
MY PERFECTNESS
ON PURPOSE.

HOW DID YOU FIND ME?
WAIT--

DID YOU SAY
I GAVE YOU
AN ELIXIR?

NO, NO.
DON'T PLAY DUMB.

WITH YOU, THAT COULD
TURN THE UNIVERSE
INSIDE-OUT.

YEAH, BUT I CAN'T MAKE
AN ELIXIR.

I CAN BARELY DO POTIONS.

WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU
SAYING?

WAIT, I DIDN'T UNSCREW
MY HEAD OFF AND WAS YZMA
UNDERNEATH, DID I?

YEAH, THINK
I'D REMEMBER THAT.

IT'S JUST--ELIXIRS,
THAT'S SO YZMA.

OH! HERE I COME AGAIN!

HEH!

UNH. EWW.

YZMA'S EVEN UGLIER
WHEN SHE'S FUZZY
OUT-OF-FOCUS.

AAH! WRONG! WRONG!
FUZZY'S BETTER!
FUZZY'S BETTER!

WAKEY, WAKEY,
YOUR HIGHNESS.

DID YOU HAVE
A NICE NAP? GOOD.

BECAUSE YOU HAVE
A DIFFICULT CHOICE
TO MAKE.

CHOICE ONE--

YOUR BELOVED MALINA
REMAINS A BIRD-FACED

FREAK OF NATURE.
HA HA HA!

AND SHE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER
WHO DID THAT TO HER--

YOU.

CHOICE 2--

I HAVE THE ANTIDOTE.

YOU GIVE IT TO HER,

AND SHE RETURNS
TO NORMAL.

[CACKLING]

HMM, I'LL TAKE
CHOICE NUMBER 2.

WAIT, YOU CAN'T.
I FORGOT--

YOU GIVE IT TO HER,
AND SHE RETURNS
TO NORMAL.

BUT THERE IS A PRICE
FOR THE ANTIDOTE.

LET ME GUESS--I LET
YOU BECOME EMPRESS.

NOT EVEN CLOSE.

YOU LET ME
BECOME EMPRESS.

OK, YOU WERE CLOSE.

WELL, I STILL TAKE
CHOICE NUMBER 2.

SURE, I'LL LOSE
THE KINGDOM,

BUT THIS ONLY
HAPPENED BECAUSE
I'M SUPERFICIAL.

NOW MAYBE
MALINA WILL THINK
I'M JUST SUPER.

SIRE, NO!

YOU MUST NOT
GIVE YZMA
THE KINGDOM!

SHE WOULD
BRING NOTHING
BUT SORROW.

BUT THEN I HAVE
TO GO TO THE DANCE
WITH FREAKY BEAK GIRL!

WAH-HAH!

SO, COME ON,
IS IT A DEAL?

YOU GONNA HAND OVER
THE ANTIDOTE,

OR JUST STAND THERE
DECOMPOSING?

YOU GOT IT!

[CACKLING]

[LULLABY PLAYING
OUT OF TUNE]

CAREFUL--
THAT'S NOT YZMA,
THAT'S ME.

I THINK. I SAW ME
BE HER EARLIER,

SO SHE'S PROBABLY
ME NOW.

I'M WILY LIKE THAT.
OR SHE IS.

IT'S TOO CONFUSING.
I COULDN'T LET IT GO ON.

THE BANANAS
ARE THE MONKEY'S.

AND THAT'S PROBABLY NOT
BEAK ANTIDOTE.

BETTER LET ME
TEST IT.

YEP, WHAT'D I TELL YOU?
SHE-ME WAS GOING
TO DOUBLE-CROSS YOU.

WILY.

OH, JOY.
TOMORROW'S
LUNCH SPECIAL.

YIPES!

COME BACK.
YOU CANNOT GET
AWAY FROM ME.

OK.

HMM. WELL,
AS FOR YOU.

NO ANTIDOTE,
NO KINGDOM.

DEAL'S OFF.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[KUZCO WHISTLES]

WHO'S
A PRETTY BIRD?

YOU'RE SO NOT FUNNY.

WHAT?

OH, DON'T TELL ME--
EAU DU ELIXIR?

YEAH. HA HA!

SORRY I TURNED YOU INTO
SCARY BEAK-FACE GIRL.

AND THIS IS
YOUR WAY OF
MAKING IT ALL BETTER--

GIVE YOURSELF
A BEAK TOO?

IT'S BOTH SHALLOW

AND TOUCHING.

THANKS. I THINK.

SO NOW WE'RE BOTH
STUCK LIKE THIS.

YEAH, FOR NOW,
BUT WE'LL BE BACK

TO NORMAL AFTER
THE BREAK.

YOU REALIZE
A TOUCAN BEAK IS
A FLAW, RIGHT?

UNLESS YOU'RE
A TOUCAN.

WELL, THE WAY
I SEE IT,

TRUE PERFECTION IS
IMPOSSIBLE.

SO I GET
AS CLOSE AS I CAN.

I GUESS WHAT
I'M TRYING TO SAY IS,

EVEN WITH
THE TOUCAN BEAK,
I THINK YOU'RE SUPER.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

OHH.

WHAT HIT ME?

OH, YEAH--
KRONK WITH BANANAS.

[GASPS]
BUT WAIT!

WHO CARES?
KUZCO MADE ME EMPRESS!

UH, SORRY, YZMA.
DEAL'S OFF.

WHAT?

GRR! OHH! OOOOOH!

OH, NO, YOU DON'T!

OOF!

OR NO, I DON'T.
I'M STILL CONFUSED.

K! U! Z C O!
KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

[YAWNS]

AAH!

[CROAKS]

[PANTING]

IT WAS JUST A TREE FROG.

UGH, IT'S A USELESS,
SLIMY, SMELLY
CREATURE, OK?

KUZCO, DID YOU HAVE
A BAD CHILDHOOD
EXPERIENCE WITH FROGS?

[WAILING]

NO.

IT'S JUST ME, EMPEROR.
FROG, LOSER.

IT'S BENEATH ME TO EVEN
BE TOUCH BY SUCH A LOWLIFE.

NO TOUCHY.

KUZCO, THEY'RE NOT
LOWLIFE, THEY'RE COOL.

THE WAY THEY JUMP
FROM TREE TO TREE.

THEY'RE LIKE LITTLE
SUPER HEROES.
PLUS THEY FEED ON--

WHAT'S WITH THIS GUY
AND FROGS?

UH, HELLO, OPERATOR,

COULD YOU CONNECT HIM
WITH SOMEONE WHO CARES?

YUCK-A-LLAMA!

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT
EAR HAIR?

SOMEBODY BETTER TAKE
A LAWN TRIMMER
TO THAT STUFF

BEFORE HE GETS HIS OWN
RAINFOREST GOING IN THERE.

KUZCO, HOW DO YOU KNOW
THAT FROGS ARE
BENEATH YOU

IF YOU DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT THEM?

PACHA, DON'T PREACH.

AS FOR ME, DON'T KNOW,
DON'T CARE.

EVERY CREATURE'S
IMPORTANT, KUZCO.

WE'RE ALL CONNECTED.
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE,
ANIMALS.

IT'S THE CIRCLE OF--

UH-UH. DON'T DO IT,

PLEASE. I'M SERIOUS.

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I'VE GOT TO GET TO CLASS.

KRONK, GET IN HERE.

IN MY DEFENSE,
PRINCIPAL AMZY,

THE KID WASN'T
ALL THAT BRIGHT BEFORE
THE DODGE BALL HIT HIM.

NO, YOU LUNK.

IT'S ME, YZMA!

WOW!

DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING.

MUST WE GO THROUGH THIS
EVERY TIME?

SEEMS LIKE IT. YEAH.

I'VE GOT PLANS
FOR KUZCO.

TO THE SECRET LAB.

PULL THE LEVER!

[SQUEAKS]

THE OTHER LEVER.
[SQUEAKS]

Man on P.A.: PLEASE
REMOVE ALL HATS AND GLASSES.

ENJOY THE RIDE.

HA HA! WHOO!

Man on P.A.: YOUR RIDE HAS
TEMPORARILY COME TO A STOP

AND WILL RESUME MOMENTARILY.
PLEASE REMAIN SEATED.

HEY, WHAT THE POINT
OF THIS ROLLER COASTER
AGAIN?

AH, IT'S JUST FOR FUN.

I FINALLY HAVE
THE PERFECT PLAN

TO STOP KUZCO
FROM GRADUATING.

FIRST, WE TRANSFORM
KUZCO INTO A PRIZE-
WINING RACE LLAMA.

NEXT, WE BET ALL OUR
SAVINGS ON HIM.

THEN, HE COMES
IN FIRST PLACE,
AND WE MAKE MILLIONS.

FINALLY, WE GET A LITTLE
HOUSE IN THE COUNTRY,

AND YOU CAN BUY THOSE
NON-STICK PANS YOU'RE
ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT.

IT'S BRILLIANT.
HA HA HA HA HA!

UH, HOW EXACTLY
DOES THAT STOP KUZCO
FROM GRADUATING?

IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD
IDEA WHEN I WAS FALLING
ASLEEP LAST NIGHT.

RACE LLAMA, MILLIONS,
NON-STICK PANS.

EH! VERY WELL.
PLAN "B".

WE USE THIS TO TURN
KUZCO INTO A RED-EYED
TREE FROG!

[CACKLING]

HEH HEH. HI, THERE.

YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED
THAT MISS RIP VAN
WRINKLE HERE

PLANS TO TURN ME
INTO A FROG,

THE EXACT CREATURE
I WAS BAD-MOUTHING
EARLIER.

COINCIDENCE?
OR CLEVERLY
ORCHESTRATED DEVICE

TO TEACH ME
A LESSON?
YOU BE THE JUDGE.

ANYWAY,
LETS SKIP OVER
THIS BORING JUNK

THAT'S NOT ABOUT ME,
SHALL WE?

THAT'S KRONK BAKING
A PIE.

YZMA PUTTING POTION
IN THE PIE.

ME EATING THE PIE.
OH, OH, HEY!
THAT'S ME!

HA HA!
LOOK AT THAT.

I'M SO CUTE EATING
THE PIE.

PIE FACE!

AW...

OK. ANYWAY,
ON WITH THE SHOW.

HA HA! FOR ME?

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT WAS
"GIVE KUZCO A PIE" DAY.

YEAH, WELL, I HAVE IT
CIRCLED ON MY CALENDAR,

"GIVE KUZCO A PIE" DAY.

THE DAY KUZCO
GETS A PIE.
PIES ARE BAKED AND...

KUZCO EATS THEM...

PIE DAY

SAY, ANY CHANCE OF GETTING
A BOYSENBERRY ONE OF THESE?

HEAVY ON THE BOYSEN.

THAT'S WEIRD.

HELLO, CLASS.
I'M PRINCIPAL AMZY,

AND I'LL BE
SUBSTITUTING TODAY.

WHAT HAPPENED
TO MR. MOLAWACCO?

HE'S OUT.
AAH!

FOR THE LAST TIME,

I DID NOT ORDER
A LARGE BOX
OF MARSHMALLOWS.

WELL, YOU COULD'VE
TOLD ME THAT BEFORE
I OPENED IT!

AAH!

TODAY'S ASSIGNMENT
IS DISSECTING RED-EYED
TREE FROGS.

[GASPING]

EVERYONE GOT YOUR
EMPERORS--UH, UH, FROGS?

THEN LET'S GET CHOPPING.

YOU CAN'T HURT THAT
POOR, DEFENSELESS
CREATURE.

IT'S CHOPPING TIME.

SLICE, DICE, MINCE, PUREE.

COME ON. LET'S SEE SOME
OF THAT CULINARY SKILL.

WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW
ABOUT CULINARY ANYTHING?

YOU JUST EAT FAST FOOD.

HEY! I'M BUSY!

DON'T HAVE TIME TO COOK.

YOU COULD MAKE TIME.

I DON'T GET HOME TILL 7:00.

THEN I GOT TO FEED
AND WALK THE DOG.

GUYS, THIS REALLY
ISN'T HELPING.

FAST FOOD'S OK
NOW AND AGAIN.
TRY THE SALAD OPTION.

SEE.
AW, PLLLL!

OOPS.

WHAT OOPS?

UGH. I'M NOT JUST BEING
TOUCHED BY A FROG.

IAM A FROG.

USELESS, SLIMY, SMELLY.

WHERE IS HE?

WHO?
THE FROG.

OH, THE FROG.

YOU MEAN THE FROG
WHO IS KUZCO.
THE KUZCO FROG.

THAT FROG?

YES!

THERE HE IS.

AAH!

UH, HOW AM I GOING TO
GET OUT OF HERE?

[FROGS CROAK]

AAH! MORE FROGS.

HEY, THAT'S IT.

MORE FROGS.

HEY, YOU'RE NOT SO COLD
AND SLIMY AFTER ALL.

ARE YOU, BUDDY?
[CROAKS]

WHICH ONE IS HE?

HURRY, OVER THE WALL.

[CROAKING]

OH, YEAH! WHO SAVED
THE FROGS?

I SAVED THE FROGS.

I SMELLY PRETTY DARN
GOOD, TOO.

YOU SEE, I NOT
JUST A NORMAL,
MILD-MANNERED FROG.

I'M...

♪ RED-EYED TREE FROG MAN ♪

♪ RIGHTING WRONG
WHERE EVER HE CAN ♪

♪ WARTY FROG, SO HIDEOUS ♪

♪ JUST 'CAUSE
HE'S AMPHIBIOUS ♪

♪ HE'S RED-EYED
TREE FROG ♪

♪ MAN ♪

♪ SAVING KIDS
OR STOPPING CATS ♪

♪ OR CHILLING
AT HIS LILLY PADS ♪

♪ MAY BE UGLY,
MAY BE SMALL ♪

♪ BUT WE LOVE HIM,
WARTS AND ALL ♪

♪ HE'S RED-EYED
TREE FROG ♪

♪ MAN ♪

♪ FROM THE CEILING
HE HAS HUNG ♪

♪ GRABBING EVIL
WITH HIS TONGUE ♪

♪ FROM HIS WEBBED
AND SLIMY FEET ♪

♪ TO HIS HEAD
AND BULBOUS CHEEKS ♪

♪ HE'S RED-EYED
TREE FROG MAN ♪

♪ RED-EYED
TREE FROG MAN ♪

♪ RED-EYED
TREE FROG ♪

♪ MAN ♪

♪ YEAH ♪

YAY FOR ME!

Announcer: WHEN WE LAST LEFT
RED-EYED TREE FROG MAN,

OUR HERO WAS WATCHING
IN SHOCK

AS A RUNAWAY CART FULL
OF SHARP POINT THINGS

BORED DOWN ON A HELPLESS
PEASANT BABY.

ARE YOU OK?

OK?

I'M RED-EYED TREE FROG
MAN. YAY FOR ME!

OH, KUZCO,
I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE.

OH, YOU'RE STILL
A FROG?

WELL, MALINA,
MY SUPER HERO SCHEDULE
IS PRETTY BUSY,

BUT IF YOU'D LIKE
TO COME BACK TO MY
LILLY PAD FOR A WHILE...

YOU ARE SO UNBELIEVABLE.

SHE SAYS
I'M UNBELIEVABLE,
THEN WALKS OFF.

WHAT'S WITH HER?

YIKES!

HA HA! I'M RED-EYED
TREE FROG MAN!

MMM. IF I CAN'T
CATCH HIM,

THEN I'LL HAVE HIM
CATCH ME.

♪ MAY BE UGLY,
MAY BE SMALL ♪

♪ BUT WE LOVE HIM,
WARTS AND ALL ♪

♪ HE'S RED-EYED
TREE FROG MAN ♪

AAH! PRINCIPAL AMZY.

I HAVE A NEW PLAN,
AND I NEED YOUR HELP.

I DON'T KNOW. I...

GOT A LOT OF HOMEWORK
FOR POTTERY CLASS.

I'M WORKING ON
A FRESCO VASE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE
THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE
YOU LET KUZCO ESCAPE.

TECHNICALLY, I DIDN'T
LET KUZCO ESCAPE.

HE WAS RED-EYED
TREE FROG MAN.

I GOT THE ACTION FIGURE,

COMIC BOOK,

LILLY PAD PLAY SET,

AND THE RED-EYED
TREE FROM MAN...

DOLEE.

THE ONLY RED-EYED TREE FROG
MAN WE'LL BE COLLECTING
IS THE REAL ONE.

AND HERE'S HOW.

KUZCO LIKE MALINA,

KRONK ENDANGERS MALINA,

FROG MAN COMES
TO THE RESCUE,

WE SNAG FROG MAN,

YZMA BECOME EMPRESS.
HA HA HA!

OH , I GET IT.

GOOD THING YOU HAD
THAT CHART.

WHOA!

NOW HERE'S THE TRICK.
I LIKE TRICKS.

INSTEAD OF MALINA, IT'S
GOING TO BE OOZWAZSEN.

[INDISTINCT]

OH, UH...

I JUST REMEMBERED
I LEFT SOME SPINACH
PUFFS IN THE OVEN.

WAIT HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HELP! HELP!

OH, NO!

MALINA'S IN TERRIBLE
DANGER.

WHO COULD POSSIBLY
SAVE HER?

RED-EYED TREE FROG MAN,
HELP ME!

WAIT, KRONK, YOU FOOL!

AAH!

YOU DIDN'T, UH...

DIDN'T WANT TO RESCUE
HER OR ANYTHING?

MMM. NO.

SEE, WE FROGS ARE REALLY
QUITE AMAZING.

WE CAN STICK TO WALLS,
AND HEAR PEOPLE'S
SECRET PLANS

TO IMPERSONATE MALINA.

OH.

GOTCHA.

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

I, UH, GOT TO GO.

[CRASH]

Kronk: SHE'S OK!

SO YOU SEE, KIDS,
IT'S LIKE THIS...

ME, EMPEROR.

FROG, COOL.

BUT THIS MORNING,

YOU SAID THEY'RE
USELESS, SLIMY,
AND SMELLY.

AH, AH, AH, AH.
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR

ANYONE DEMEANING
MY LITTLE FRIENDS.

TREE FROG ARE USEFUL, WARM,

AND SMELL DARN GOOD,
TO BOOT.

OK. SO THE POTION
WORE OFF,

AND I'M NOT
A TREE FROG ANYMORE.

BUT I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE THINKING,

KUZCO LEARNED
HIS LESSON.

NOW HE'S MUCH MORE
SENSITIVE

TO OTHER CREATURE'S
STRENGTHS AND
WEAKNESSES.

YEAH, WELL, JUST SO
YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T
ALL FUN AND GAMES.

FOR EXAMPLE,
HERE'S THE DELETED
BUG-EATING SCENE.

YUCK.

GROSS.

ECCH.

YUCK.

Kuzco: OH, MAN. THAT ONE
TASTED LIKE A DIRTY FOOT.

GROSS.

THAT WAS CRUNCHY. WHAT,
A FLY'S GOT BONES? EEW.

ECCH.

HMM. THAT ONE WASN'T SO BAD.

SORT OF A SWEET AND SOUR THING
GOING ON THERE.

MAYBE THIS IS
AN ACQUIRED TASTE.

UGH.

WRONG. YUCKY AS EVER.
YUCKY AS EVER.