The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 1, Episode 20 - The Yzma That Stole Kuzcoween/Monster Masquerade - full transcript

HEY THERE. TODAY'S
GONNA BE ALL ABOUT ME.

GOOD IDEA, HUH? SO
LET'S CELEBRATE ME DAY

AND ME NIGHT, TOO.

IT'S KUZCO-WEEN.

THEME MUSIC!

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE
THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪



YOU KNOW, IT'S
ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪

EXACTLY!

LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪

♪ HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM ♪

♪ TO TOP HIM ♪
TO DESTROY HIM,

RIGHT?
UHH...

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO, GO!

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪



♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪

♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪

♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪

♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT
THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

YO, KUZCO TRIVIA BUFFS,

YOU KNOW WHICH HOLIDAY
IS THE MOST KUZCO-RIFIC?

NO, IT'S NOT KUZ-MAS...

OR KUZ-EASTER...

OR KUZ-ARBOR DAY.

NOPE, IT'S KUZCO-WEEN.

I'LL NEVER FORGET HOW
I INVENTED KUZCO-WEEN.

LIKE MOST INVENTIONS,
IT BEGAN BECAUSE OF A NEED.

Kuzco: I NEED CANDY!
I NEED CANDY!
I NEED CANDY!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

I NEED CANDY.

WHY SHOULD I
GIVE YOU CANDY?

'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T,
SOMETHING VERY BAD
WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR HUT.

PLEASE SAY NO.
PLEASE SAY NO.

UH, CANDY.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

IT'S ALL YOURS.

AND HERE'S SOME GOLD, TOO.

AND MY PET LLAMA.
AND TAKE MY WIFE...PLEASE!

Kuzco: SORRY
TO DISAPPOINT YOU, YZMA.

WHAT'LL IT BE?

GIVE ME ALL
THE CANDY YOU'VE GOT,

OR SOMETHING VERY BAD
IS GOING TO HAPPEN
TO YOUR HUT.

YOU NEED A SNAPPIER PHRASE.

GIVE ME FUDGE
OR I'LL FILL YOUR HUT
WITH SLUDGE.

FEWER WORDS.

PLUNDER OR WONDER
WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.

TRY AGAIN.
I DEMAND ME LOTS
OF CANDY, OR ELSE.

OH, KUZCO, JUST USE WORDS
THAT SAY YOU'LL TRICK ME

IT I DON'T TREAT YOU.

LIKE TRICK OR TREAT?

YOU GOT IT, KIDDO.

OF COURSE, KUZCO-WEEN
ISN'T LIKE THAT ANYMORE.

FIRST OFF,
NO MORE HUT DESTRUCTION.

YEAH, PEOPLE ACTUALLY
HATED ME FOR THAT.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

ME NO LIKEE
WHEN PEOPLE NO LIKEE ME.

ALSO, NOWADAYS, I'M NOT
THE ONLY CANDY GRABBER.

NOW ALL THE KIDS DO IT.

AND GUESS WHO EVERYONE
DRESSES UP LIKE. ME!

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S A TRADTIONY KIND OF THING.

THE MORE ME
THE MERRIER ME.

BUT, YOU KNOW,
THERE IS ONE PERSON

WHO'S NOT ON THE KUZCO-WEEN
TRAIN WITH THE REST OF US.

SOMEONE WHO HATES THE WHOLE
KUZCO/CANDY THING.

SOMEONE WHOSE HEART
IS AS COLD AS ICE.

BRRRR.

BLAST KUZCO-WEEN!

IT'S STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!

WELL, SURE,
IT'S KIND OF BORING

THAT EVERYONE HAS TO
DRESS LIKE KUZCO,

BUT THEN AGAIN,
THERE ARE SO MANY
KUZCOS TO CHOOSE FROM.

THERE'S EMPEROR KUZCO,
WHINY KUZCO,

CUTESY KUZCO,
THOUGHTFUL KUZCO,

LLAMA KUZCO,
RABBIT-FACED KUZCO,

TOUCAN KUZCO.

ARE YOU HAVING
A GOOD TIME, KRONK?

YES! YES!

I LOVE KUZCO-WEEN.

I MEAN, NO, I DON'T.

KUZCO-WEEN
USED TO BE SO MUCH FUN,

BUT NOW
IT'S ALL ABOUT KUZCO.

WELL, IT IS CALLED
KUZCO-WEEN.

WHAT, YOU WANT IT
TO BE ABOUT YOU?
YOU WANT YZMA-WEEN?

HA HA HA!
YZMA-WEEN.

LIKE ANYONE WOULD NAME
A HOLIDAY THAT.

THAT'S FUNNY.

KRONK, HO HO HO!
GIVE YOURSELF A GOLD STAR.

ONE MORE AND I GET
A NEW POTATO PEELER!

I THOUGHT 10 STARS
WAS THE BAGEL SLICER.

YOU GAVE ME A SLICER
FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

ENOUGH! I'M GOING TO PUT
AN END TO KUZCO-WEEN FOREVER!

AND I KNOW
EXACTLY HOW TO DO IT.

FIRST, I'LL DRESS UP
LIKE A BEARDED FAT MAN,

THEN I'LL CLIMB DOWN
EVERYONE'S CHIMNEY,

AND DELIVER PRESENTS.
HA HA HA!

AND I'LL DO
THE SAME THING NEXT YEAR
AND THE NEXT YEAR

AND THE NEXT YEAR.
AH HA HA HA!

I'LL CALL IT YZMAS.

FINALLY, THERE WILL BE
NO PEACE ON EARTH
AND GOOD WILL TO ALL.

IT'S BRILLIANT!
BRILLIANT!

BRILLIANT!
AH HA HA HA HA!

UH...YOU KNOW, I THINK
I MISSED THE PART

ABOUT HOW THAT'S
GONNA STOP KUZCO-WEEN.

WELL, THERE'S THE FAT MAN
AND THE CHIMNEY AND THE--

OH, VERY WELL.

WE'LL JUST STEAL ALL
THE KUZCO-WEEN DECORATIONS

AND DESTROY
THE WHOLE HOLIDAY.

TO THE VILLAGE!

SORRY, DON'T HAVE TIME.

GOTTA GET MY KUZCO-WEEN
COSTUME READY.

I'M GOING AS THE "I'VE
REALLY LEARNED MY LESSON
FOR TODAY" KUZCO.

I'VE GOTTA CARVE
MY GOURD

AND THERE'S A PARTY
AT KIPSY'S LATER.

WE'RE GONNA BOB
FOR TAMALES,

PIN THE TAIL
ON THE LLAMA, AND...

WELL, I COULD JUGGLE
A FEW THINGS

AND FIND SOME
WIGGLE ROOM FOR YOU.

I KNEW
I COULD COUNT ON YOU.

DO I GET
ANOTHER STAR FOR THAT?

MMM...

NO!

THEN WHAT'S IN IT
FOR ME?

WELL...

BY SUNSET TONIGHT,
KUZCO-WEEN WILL BE NO MORE!

YOU KNOW, THAT'S
REALLY MORE FOR YOU
THAN FOR ME.

OK, FINE.
YOU'LL GET YOU STAR.

YES!

IN HONOR OF
THE LAST KUZCO-WEEN EVER,

I'D LIKE TO RECITE
A LITTLE POEM I WROTE.

[CLEARS THROAT]

THE YZMA
THAT STOLE KUZCO-WEEN,

BY KRONK.
THE KRONK BEHIND THE YZMA.

KRONK THE SECOND BANANA.

EL NUMERO DUO.
THAT KRONK.

THE POEM GOES LIKE THIS...

OH, THAT YZMA,
SHE'S UNPLEASANT.

HER HEART IS MADE OF ICE.

SHE'S REALLY NASTY,
SPITEFUL, PARANOID,

VICIOUS, SNEAKY,
SLIMY, SCARY--

IN OTHER WORDS,
SHE'S NOT NICE.

WHILE EVERYONE
STAYED IN THEIR HUTS,

GETTING READY FOR THE NIGHT,

YZMA HURRIED
TO COMPLETE HER SCHEME,

WAY BEFORE TWILIGHT.

IT'S TIME TO GET RID
OF ALL THINGS KUZCO.

CELEBRATE
SOMEONE ELSE INSTEAD.

SOMEONE WITH
THE NAME OF YZMA.

SOMEONE LIKE ME, SHE SAID.

SHE SWITCHED OUT
EVERY KUZCO MASK.

ONE LOOK,
YOU'LL SCREAM AND RUN.

THEN YZMA ADDED
HER SPECIAL TOUCH,

WITH LIZARDS AND SCARY BATS,

COBWEBS AND GHOSTS
AND SKELETONS,

AND RUBBER SNAKES AND RATS.

THE KUZCO LOAD
WAS REALLY HEAVY.

THERE WAS NO TIME TO SLACK.

BUT IF I DON'T GET
A SPINACH PUFF BREAK,

I'M GONNA BREAK MY BACK.

KRONK, WHAT DO
YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

I WROTE A POEM, 'CAUSE
WORDS THAT SOUND THE SAME

ARE MY NEW GAME.

WELL, COULD YOU BE
A LITTLE MORE QUIET?

IF ANYONE FINDS OUT
WHAT WE'RE DOING,

THERE'LL BE A RIOT.
HA HA HA HA.

OH, YOU'VE GOT ME DOING IT.

JUST WRAP IT UP.

GOTCHA.

SO YZMA DID HER THING
ALL AROUND.

SKIPPING FROM DOOR TO DOOR,

AND SHE WASN'T GOING TO STOP
UNTIL KUZCO-WEEN

WAS NO MORE!

THE END. I'M KRONK.
THANK YOU.

NO. YOU'RE
NOT DONE YET.

THERE'S ONE MORE HUT
TO DE-KUZCO-IZE.

I'VE SAVED THE BEST
FOR LAST.

TIPO, I'M GONNA TELL MOM.

YOU AREN'T OLD ENOUGH
TO CARVE A GOURD.

AM TOO!

AM NOT!

AM NOT!
AM TOO!

AM TOO!
AM NOT!

AM NOT!
AM TOO!

Kuzco: YO, GUYS!

WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF MY COSTUME
FOR KUZCO-WEEN?

I'M GOING AS ME.

KUZCO, YOU'RE TOO OLD

TO GO TRICK OR TREATING.

ME? OLD?

YEAH! I HAVE
A FRIEND WHO'S 13,

AND SHE CAN'T GO OUT AND
ASK FOR CANDY ANYMORE

'CAUSE 13
IS WAY TOO OLD. AND
I HAVE ANOTHER FRIEND--

[THINKING] YOU KNOW,
THE PROBLEM ISN'T REALLY

THAT I'M TOO OLD
FOR KUZCO-WEEN.

THE PROBLEM IS
THAT KUZCO-WEEN
IS TOO OLD FOR ME.

IT'S SO LAST DECADE
AND I'M A NOW KIND OF GUY.

YOU KNOW WHAT
KUZCO-WEEN NEEDS?

IT NEEDS A MAKEOVER. YEAH!

NO, WAIT.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE WORK.

WHAT KUZCO-WEEN NEEDS
IS SOMEONE--NOT ME--

TO GIVE IT A MAKEOVER.

KUZCO!
HUH? OH.

I AM NOT TOO OLD.

AM TOO!
AM TOO!

AM TOO!
AM TOO!

HEY, DON'T YOU GUYS
USUALLY DISAGREE?

UH-HUH.
UH HUH.

UH-HUH.
UH-HUH.

UH-HUH.
UH-HUH.

UH-HUH.
UH-HUH.

UH-OH.

HUH?

OOH, IT'S MAGNIFICENT!

I LOVE IT!

YEP, YOU
MUST BE PROUD.

YOU DEFINITELY
RUINED KUZCO-WEEN.

IT'S NO LONGER
KUZCO-WEEN.

IT'S YZMA-WEEN!
HA HA HA!

SHH. THEY'RE COMING.

AWESOME!
COOL!

YAY! KUZCO-WEEN
GOT A MAKEOVER
JUST LIKE I WANTED,

AND I DIDN'T HAVE
TO LIFT A FINGER.

IT'S A KUZCO-WEEN MIRACLE!

WHAT?

YOU DON'T THINK
THIS IS SCARY
BEYOND ALL BELIEF?

SCARY? YEAH.

BUT FUN.

SCARY FUN.

BOO! HA HA HA HA.

I DON'T GET IT.

[GASP] I DO!

IT'S SOMETHING THAT
ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS,

BUT IT'S HAPPENING
RIGHT NOW.

IT'S A RECIPE CALLED...

THE BEST
OF BOTH WORLDS.

FROM KUZCO,
WE TAKE ONE PART
OF GOING HUT TO HUT

AND GETTING CANDY.

AND FROM YOU, WE TAKE
AN EQUAL HELPING

OF SCARY
BEYOND ALL BELIEF STUFF.

YOU MIX IN
A PINCH OF FUN,
A SPLASH OF GAMES,

AND PRESTO! IT'S
A WIN-WIN SITUATION.

BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.
CHERISH IT.

ALL RIGHTY-RIGHT!
IT'S OFFICIALLY KUZCO-WEEN.

COME ON.

TRICK OR TREAT.

I DEMANDY CANDY.

KUZCO, AREN'T YOU TOO OLD
FOR TRICK OR TREATING?

NO, AND NEITHER ARE YOU.
COME ON.

HAPPY YZMA-WEEN.

HAPPY YZMA-WEEN.

HI, YZMA.

WHO ARE YOU REALLY?
LET ME GUESS.

MALINA? COACH SWEATY?
MR. MALIGUACO?

AM I GETTING CLOSE?

I'M YZMA!

SWEET. YOU EVEN
SOUND LIKE HER.

I AM HER, YOU FOOL.

RIGHT.

ERRRR!

WHOA. YOU GOT
THAT MASK ON TIGHT.

IT'S NOT A MASK.

HA HA. COME ON.

EVEN YZMA
ISN'T THAT UGLY.

KRONK!

OH, YOU'RE GOOD.

YOU EVEN SCREAM
JUST LIKE HER.

♪ K-U-Z-C-O,
KUZCO, KUZCO, GO, GO ♪

THE MEGA-FREAKY
KUZCO-WEEN COSTUME BALL.

WHAT KIND OF BALL
ARE YOU GOING AS?

BOWLING? GOLF?
A BALL BEARING?

KRONK, BALL MEANS DANCE

AND COSTUME MEANS COOL.

I'M ASKING MALINA
TO GO WITH ME

AS A KUZCAN SEA SERPENT.

OR SHOULD WE KEEP IT SIMPLE

AND GO AS A GIANT
KUZCAN ZOMBIE?

MALINA WON'T BE
A ZOMBIE.

SHE'LL BE TOO BUSY
GOING WITH ME AS
A TWO-HEADED MUMMY.

YOU MIGHT WANT
TO AVOID THE WHOLE
MUMMY CATEGORY.

IT'S TAKEN.

WAIT. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WAIT.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I, ME, AM ASKING MALINA
TO THE DANCE.

ME, TOO. WHAT
A COINCIDENCE, HUH?

WEIRD.

SO THAT'S HOW
YOU WANT TO PLAY IT, HUH?

WELL, THEN, I'LL JUST--
LEAN DOWN. YOU'RE TOO TALL.

WELL, THEN, I'LL JUST
HAVE TO UNLEASH

MY ULTRA SECRET
INVITATION PLAN

THAT NO MALINA CAN RESIST.

OH, YEAH?
THEN SO WILL I.

MAY I LEAN UP NOW?

MM, YEAH.
WE'RE DONE HERE.

Kuzco: IT'S TIME
FOR KUZCO'S DOODLES.

THAT'S THE PART OF THE SHOW

WHERE I SHOW YOU HOW
I'M GOING TO ASK MALINA
TO THE DANCE.

I'VE GOT A BIG IDEA.

NO GIRL WOULD TURN DOWN
A HANDSOME GUY ON A HORSE,
RIGHT?

THE PROBLEM IS
I DON'T HAVE A HORSE.

BUT I DO HAVE
MISTY THE LLAMA.

ALL I HAVE TO DO IS
SHAVE OFF HER EXTRA HAIR,

PAINT HER WHITE,
STICK ONE OF THOSE
MANE THINGS ON HER,

AND THEN ATTACH
A ROCKET TO HER BACK

SO SHE'S
A SUPER LLAMA EXTREME.

HMM. WELL...

LET'S SEE
WHAT KRONK'S UP TO.

OK, GUYS, GIVE IT YOUR ALL.

THIS IS FOR MALINA,
SO REMEMBER:

BE FLASHY.
WE GOTTA OUTDO KUZCO.

[CLEARS THROAT]

♪ PLEASE GO TO THE DANCE
WITH ME, MALINA ♪

♪ PLEASE GO TO THE DANCE
WITH ME, MALINA ♪

COME ON. YOU'RE FLAT.

CONCENTRATE!

♪ PLEASE GO TO THE DANCE
WITH ME, MALINA ♪

NOT FEELING THE FLASH,
PEOPLE. WORK WITH ME!

PSST. MALINA.

I NEED TO ASK YOU
SOMETHING AFTER CLASS.

PSST. I NEED
TO ASK YOU SOMETHING FIRST.

DELIVERY FROM CUTARY'S
CARD AND COSTUME CAVERN
FOR MALINA.

COME IN. THEY'RE NOT
LISTENING ANYWAY.

I'M MALINA.

PRICKLY PEAR CANDY

AND A MACAW FOR THE BOUQUET.
I LOVE IT!

"FROM YOUR SECRET CRUSH."

OH, HE WANTS
TO TAKE ME TO THE DANCE.

I'LL BE A SHE-BAT,
AND HE'S GOING AS A HE-BAT.

A SECRET CRUSH?
HOW ROMANTIC.

OH, I KNOW. WHO WANTS
SOMETHING BIG OR FLASHY?

THIS IS SO MUCH SWEETER.

SO WHAT'D YOU
WANT TO ASK ME?

UH, WELL...NOTHING BIG.

YEAH, OR FLASHY.

WHAA!

WELL, I'LL BET YOU'RE
REAL PROUD OF YOURSELF,
AREN'T YOU?

ME? YOU SENT MALINA
PRICKLY PEAR CANDY
UNDER A FAKE NAME.

SECRET CRUSH.
THAT WAS GENIUS.

YOU'RE RIGHT,
I AM A GENIUS,

BUT I DIDN'T SEND THE CANDY.

WELL, I DIDN'T DO IT.

HMM. A NEW PLAYER
HAS JOINED THE GAME.

LOOK, THIS BAT CHUMP
IS NO GOOD FOR ANYBODY.

I SAY WE TEAM UP
AND CLIP HIS WINGS.

THEN IT'LL JUST BE
YOU AND ME FIGHTING
OVER MALINA AGAIN

LIKE IT'S
SUPPOSED TO BE.

Yzma: KRONK!
I GOTTA GO.

YOU, UH, WANTED TO SEE ME?

I NEED YOU
TO GO SHOPPING.

WE'RE LOW
ON POTION SUPPLIES.

ESPECIALLY
PUMA WHISKERS,
THUNDER CLOUD DUST,

AND NUTMEG.

I'M KINDA BUSY
WITH THE DANCE.

KRONK, YOUR
FIRST PRIORITY

IS HELPING ME
FAIL KUZCO.

BESIDES, DANCES
ARE WORTHLESS.

WHY DO YOU THINK
I'VE NEVER GONE TO ONE?

UH, 'CAUSE NO ONE
EVER ASKED YOU?

OR ANOTHER REASON?

Clown: DELIVERY FOR
A PRINCIPAL AMZI.

FOR ME?

I MEAN, I'M
PRINCIPAL AMZEE.

NO!

AHH! WHO COULD THIS
BE FROM?

PRINCIPAL AMZEE,
IF YOU SEE YZMA,

LET HER KNOW
I WENT BACK TO CLASS.

"PLEASE JOIN ME FOR AN EVENING
OF INTOLERABLE MUSIC,

"INEDIBLE SNACKS,
UNRULY STUDENTS,
AND CHAPERONE ROMANCE.

SIGNED, MR. M."

HUH. MR. M.

MR. M?

WHO'S MR M?

Kuzco: DID KATO SENDS YUM YUMS
AND PRETTY PRETTIES TO MALINA?

[GROWLS]

Kronk: I THINK
THAT'S NO.

Kuzco: NO MORE QUESTIONS.

DID YOU TWO
SEND MALINA THE GIFT BASKET?

SPEAK UP.

THEY DON'T TALK.
I'M NOT SURE WHY.

WE COULD ASK THEM,
BUT THEY WON'T TELL US

'CAUSE THEY DON'T TALK.

MALINA, DID YOU--

WAIT. WHY ARE WE
ASKING HER?

WELL, YOU WANTED TO
INTERROGATE EVERYONE.

WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?

UH, NOTHING. KRONK,
TURN OFF THE LIGHT.

RIGHT. WHERE'S
THAT SWITCH AGAIN?

IT'S RIGHT THERE.

WHERE?
THERE!

NO, ON THE WALL.
OH.

HERE. LET ME.
NO, I GOT IT.

[BZZZT]
OH, THAT TINGLED.

BASKETS DON'T JUST
SEND THEMSELVES.

SOMEONE DID IT.

THINK. WHO'S
BEEN ACTING STRANGE?

OR BETTER YET, WHO'S
BEEN ACTING NORMAL,

AS IN TOO NORMAL?

WELL, I DID SEE
GUACA YESTERDAY
SHARPENING A PENCIL,

EATING LUNCH, AND BLINKING.

THREE STRIKES.

HE'S OUT!

YOUR PENCIL SHARPENING,
LUNCH EATING,

EYE BLINKING DAYS ARE
OVER, MR. SECRET CRUSH.

HEY, SURE. I BELIEVE
YOU'RE NOT MALINA'S
SECRET CRUSH, GUACA,

BUT MY PARTNER'S
NOT SO UNDERSTANDING.

I BELIEVE HIM, TOO.

KRONK, I'M PLAYING
GOOD COP.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE BAD COP.

OH. I THOUGHT
YOU WERE GOOD COP
AND I WAS BETTER COP.

WHAT? HOW'S THAT WORK?

IT MAKES HIM LIKE ME
MORE THAN YOU.

JUST BE BAD COP, OK?

OK, BUT I DON'T ENJOY IT.

ADMIT IT! ADMIT IT!

[CRASH]

OK, I SENT MALINA FLOWERS.

I'M GUILTY! GUILTY, I SAY!

Malina: GUACA'S
MY SECRET CRUSH?

MALINA! WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THIS IS THE GIRLS' BATHROOM.

GIRLS' BATHROOM/
INTERROGATION
HEADQUARTERS

ROOM PLACE THING.

GUACA, ARE YOU REALLY
MY SECRET CRUSH?

YES!
OK.

UM, GUACA,
ARE YOU 20 FEET TALL
AND MADE OF COTTON CANDY?

YES!

BUT HE'S NOT TALL
OR FLUFFY.

HE'S SCARED.
HE'LL ADMIT ANYTHING.

GUACA'S NOT MY SECRET CRUSH.

IT LOOKS LIKE
NEITHER OF YOU ARE, EITHER.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANTED ME
TO GO TO THE DANCE WITH YOU,

ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ASK.

INSTEAD, YOU DECIDED
TO PLAY DETECTIVE.

ACTUALLY,
WE'RE PLAYING COPS.

THE POINT IS,
THANKS TO YOU,

I'M NOW GOING TO THE DANCE
WITH MY SECRET CRUSH...

WHOEVER HE IS.

NOT IF HE'S UGLY,
THOUGH. RIGHT?

WHAT IF HE'S
PART LOBSTER, YOU KNOW?

SHELL SKIN, CLAW HANDS.

SEE YA.

MAN, FIRST WE LOSE HER
TO BAT-JUMP,

AND NOW LOBSTER MAN.

WE HAVEN'T LOST YET.

WE JUST HAVE TO
CHANGE MALINA'S MIND.

MAY I GO NOW?

MR. M. MR. M.

MR. M. [GASP]

MORELY GUACO.

OH, MR. M.

[CHUCKLES]

[HORN HONKS]

AAH!

ANOTHER DELIVERY
FOR YA.

"DEAR MALINA,
ON SECOND THOUGHT,

"I DON'T WANT TO
TAKE YOU TO THE DANCE.

"YOU SHOULD GO
WITH KUZCO OR KRONK.

"TAKE CARE, YOUR
SECRET CRUSH WHO IS NOT
KUZCO OR KRONK

OR GUACA,
WHO DIDN'T WRITE THIS."

WELL, AT LEAST
THEY SEEM TO BE DONE
PLAYING DETECTIVE.

GUACA!

GOT A JOB
FOR YOU.

THE PHONY GIFT CARD
WORKED.

MALINA THINKS HER
SECRET CRUSH CANCELED,

SO NOW SHE WANTS TO GO
TO THE DANCE WITH YOU.

HA! I RULE!

SHE'LL BE A MERMAID,

SO YOU SHOULD BE
A HE-MERMAID.

OOH, ANYTHING SHE WANTS.

REEOWR.

UM, ALSO, SHE SAID
DON'T TELL KRONK.

SHE DOESN'T WANT
TO HURT HIS FEELINGS.

A SECRET DATE?

WELL, OF COURSE
I UNDERSTAND.

WHY UPSET KUZCO
FOR NO REASON,
POOR LITTLE GUY.

MR. MALIGUACO.

IT'S FROM YOUR WICKED WITCH.

SHE ACCEPTED YOUR INVITATION
AND WILL MEET YOU AT THE DANCE.

LUCKY YOU!

WICKED WITCH?

IS THAT NURSE PITIHIYA?

YOU DELIVERED
THE BASKET I SENT TO
NURSE PITIHIYA, RIGHT?

OF COURSE.
I'M A PROFESSIONAL.

[HORN HONKS]

YOU!

WHAT, TOO MUCH FIN?

HA HA HA!
KATO RELAXED AGAIN.

LAUGHTER BEST MEDICINE.

GET LOST! YOU'RE
GONNA RUIN MY SECRET
DATE WITH MALINA.

AND YEAH,
THAT'S TOO MUCH FIN.

THAT'S WEIRD.

YOUR SECRET DATE
WITH MALINA

MUST BE AFTER MY
SECRET DATE WITH MALINA.

YOU'RE BOTH WRONG.

HA HA HA HA!

REALLY, REALLY WRONG.

WHY DO I GET
THE FEELING

YOU TRICKED US
FOR OUR OWN GOOD?

HEY, I DON'T ENJOY THIS.

BUT NEXT TIME
YOU WANT SOMETHING,

DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS ME
WITH SINGING SQUIRRELS
AND PAINTED LLAMAS.

JUST ASK ME, OK?

I DON'T KNOW.
WE'RE SLOW LEARNERS.

YEAH. THANKS
FOR TRYING, THOUGH.

NO, THANK YOU.

HEY, MAYBE GUACA'S
THE SECRET CRUSH,

AND HE TRICKED US
INTO SABOTAGING OURSELVES.

NAH, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

SO WHAT'S WITH
THE BAT OUTFIT?

I'M MALINA'S SECRET CRUSH.

NO WAY!
YOU WERE RIGHT!

HEY, DOES YOUR TAIL ITCH?
MINE DOES.

HEY, HEY! HANDS
WHERE I CAN SEE 'EM.

READY FOR SOME
CHAPERONE ROMANCE,
MR. M?

FINALLY!

FRANKLY, I WAS
STARTING TO WORRY,

NURSE PITI-AAH!

UH...UH...PRINCIPAL AMZEE,
IT'S YOU!

SHALL WE DANCE,
MR. M?

YES, UM,
WELL, I, UM...

I'D LOVE TO, BUT I--

WELL, YOU SEE,
THE THING IS, WELL--

I HATE DANCES!

I HATE THEM,
HATE THEM, HATE THEM!

AND IF I HATE THEM,
SO SHOULD EVERYONE ELSE.

[ROARING]

WHOA! PRINCIPAL AMZEE'S
COSTUME IS AWESOME!

[EVERYONE TALKING]

HEY, YOU WANNA BE MY DATE?

[CHEERING]

OH, MY GOSH,
PRINCIPAL AMZEE.

YOUR COSTUME RULES.

AS DANCE COMMITTEE
CHAIRPERSON,

I AM HONORED
TO PRESENT YOU

WITH THE KUZCO-WEEN AWARD
FOR BEST SCARY COSTUME. AAH!

THANK YOU.

I'VE NEVER WON
AN AWARD BEFORE.

I LOVE DANCES.

I LOVE THEM,
LOVE THEM, LOVE THEM.

I LOVE DANCES, TOO.

AND I'M REALLY SORRY
ABOUT EVERYTHING, MALINA.

I'LL NEVER MAKE A MISTAKE
LIKE THAT AGAIN.

OK, NO GUARANTEES
ON THAT SECOND PART.

BUT THE FIRST PART'S SOLID.

FAIR ENOUGH.
I FORGIVE YOU.

ENOUGH TO GIVE ME A DANCE?

I MEAN, LOOK AT ME.
COME ON.

I'M A LADY FISH.

OK, BUT I'M LEADING.

HIT IT, GUYS.

♪ PLEASE, GO TO THE DANCE
WITH ME, MALINA ♪

♪ PLEASE, GO TO THE DANCE
WITH ME, MALINA ♪

♪ PLEASE, GO TO THE DANCE
WITH ME, MALINA ♪

♪ PLEASE, GO TO THE DANCE
WITH ME, MALINA ♪

"DEAR MALINA, TO BE CLEAR,
THIS IS FROM KUZCO.

"I'M ASKING YOU TO NEXT YEAR'S
MONSTER MASQUERADE NOW

♪BEFORE ANYONE ELSE.
DIBS ON YOU.

"TELL YOU WHAT.
YOU CAN PICK OUR COSTUMES.

"ANYTHING BUT MERMAIDS.
NO MERMAIDS.

"MERMAIDS ME NO LIKEE.

"P.S. I BET YOU'RE WONDERING
HOW I GOT ALL OF THIS TO FIT

ON ONE TINY GIFT CARD.
I MADE KRONK DO IT."

"HI, MALINA."

"THAT WAS KRONK.
OK, BACK TO ME NOW.

"DIBS ON YOU,
AND ANYTHING BUT MERMAIDS.

KUZCO OUT!"