The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 1, Episode 2 - Squeakend at Bucky's/Kuzco Fever - full transcript

Squeakend At Bucky's: After failing his squirrel language test, Kuzco does everything he can to avoid doing any more school work while trying to impress Malina Kuzco Fever: Kuzco fakes being ill to regain the perks and privileges of being emperor.

HI THERE. SQUEAKITY-SQUEAK
SQUEAKER-SQUEAK,

SQUEAK SQUEAKER-SQUEAK
SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAKER-SQUEAK

SQUEAKER-SQUEAK.

IN SQUIRREL SPEAK,
THAT MEANS…

THEME MUSIC.

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE
THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪



YOU KNOW, IT'S
ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪

EXACTLY!

LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪

♪ HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM ♪

♪ TO TOP HIM ♪
TO DESTROY HIM,

RIGHT?
UHH…

K! U! Z C O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪



♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪

♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪

♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪

♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP AGAINST
THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT
THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!

K! U! Z C O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

Teacher: ALL RIGHT, NOW TRADE
YOUR SQUIRREL LANGUAGE QUIZ

WITH YOUR NEIGHBOR.

IT'S NOT SO MUCH THAT I TRUST
YOU TO CHECK EACH OTHER'S WORK,

I JUST DON'T WANT TO DO IT
MYSELF. [CLEARS THROAT]

SO…WHO CAN TRANSLATE
QUESTION ONE:

SQUEAK SQUEAKEN
SQUEAK SQUEAKER?

OH, OH, I KNOW,
MR. MOLEGUACO.

IT MEANS, WHERE DID I
BURY MY ACORN?

CORRECT!

OH, GOOD JOB THERE, KUZCO.

YOU GOT QUESTION NUMBER ONE
RIGHT.

OF COURSE.

I'M A SMART GUY.

OK. QUESTION 2:

SQUEAKEN SQUEAKER
SQUEAK SQUEAK.

I KNOW. IT MEANS, LOOK OUT.
YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE HIT
BY A CART.

OHH! YOU PUT, "WHERE DID
I BURY MY ACORN?" AGAIN.

EH.

HEY, YOU PUT IT FOR
QUESTION NUMBER 3, TOO.

AND QUESTION NUMBER 4…

AND QUESTION NUMBER 5.

WOW, KUZCO,
YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW
YOUR SQUIRREL SQUEAK.

AND THAT STOPPED ME FROM…

FROM PASSING.
ONE OUT OF FIVE IS
NOT A PASSING GRADE.

IT'S ONLY 20%.

WHAT? WE'RE IN MATH NOW?

I THOUGHT THIS WAS SQUIRREL
LANGUAGE SKILLS.

KUZCO,
SEE ME AFTER CLASS.

OHH…

YEAH, BUT SQUIRREL SQUEAK
IS COMPLETELY USELESS.

WHAT? LIKE I'M GONNA SAVE
SOMEONE'S LIFE BY GOING
SQUEAKY SQUEAK SQUEAK?

I DOUBT IT. YOU JUST SAID,
GO AHEAD. JUMP
IN THE SHARK TANK.

AS EMPEROR, YOU MIGHT FIND
THAT KNOWING
A SECOND LANGUAGE

CAN COME IN HANDY.

AS A MATTER OF FACT…

Kuzco: WELCOME TO THE SHORTY
McGABS-A-LOT SHOW.

THIS WEEK SHORTY DRONES
ON AND ON ABOUT LEARNING
ANOTHER LANGUAGE.

DOESN'T HE KNOW THAT'S WHAT
THE ROYAL TRANSLATOR'S FOR?

HELLO?!

YOU KNOW, I BET I WOULD LOOK
REALLY SHARP

IN A COWBOY HAT.

KUZCO!
HMM? WHAT?

OH, YES.
VERY INTERESTING.

[SIGHS]
IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE
TO ME IF YOU FAIL.

OR THAT YZMA
BECOMES EMPRESS

AND HER OPPRESSIVE,
TORMENTING REIGN

HURLS US INTO A WHIRLPOOL
OF FAMINE AND DESPAIR.

HEY, IS A WHIRLPOOL
THE SAME AS A HOT TUB?

SO WHAT I'M GOING
TO DO IS…

PASS ME BECAUSE
I GOT ONE RIGHT?

NO. I'M ASSIGNING YOU
A PRIVATE TUTOR…

BUCKY THE SQUIRREL!

TA-DA!

YOU KEEP A SQUIRREL
IN YOUR DESK?

YOU WILL SPEND
24 HOURS WITH BUCKY.

YOU WILL LIVE, BREATHE,
AND EAT SQUIRREL SQUEAK.

EEW!

TOMORROW,
YOU RETAKE THE TEST,

AND I STRONGLY SUGGEST
YOU PASS.

[SQUIRREL SPEAK]

THAT'S A MANGO.

[SQUIRREL SPEAK]

NO. MANGO. MAN-GO.

HEY! YOU LOUSY
LITTLE--

[GASPS]
MELINA!

KUZCO, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?

HUH? OH. JUST
GETTIN' LUNCH.

BUCKY THE SQUIRREL?
HA HA. WHAT, ARE YOU
TODAY'S SPECIAL?

[SQUIRREL SPEAK]

UH…HE SAYS THAT
YOU SHOULD START
LIKING ME MORE

AND BECOME
MY EMPRESS.

NO, MR. MULTI-LINGUAL.
HE SAID YOU SLAMMED
A LID ON HIS HEAD.

ECCH. I HEARD
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
LEARNING FROM HIM,

NOT TRYING TO COOK HIM.

HERE. IT'S MY
ENGLISH-SQUIRREL
DICTIONARY.

START USING IT.

SAY, UH, MAYBE YOU
COULD COME OVER
LATER

AND CHECK
ON MY PROGRESS?

ASK ME
IN SQUIRREL SQUEAK.

HUH?

OH. UH…

"SQUEAK-SQUEAKER…

"SQUACK…

SQUEAKEN-SQUOIK."

OHH…

CL-OSE ENOUGH.
WE'VE GOT
A STUDY DATE.

SEE YA BOTH LATER.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE
MY KEY TO MELINA,
BUCKY.

MIGHT BE WORTH
LEARNING A SECOND
LANGUAGE AFTER ALL.

WE MUST ELIMINATE
THAT SQUIRREL!

WITH BUCKY OUT OF THE PICTURE,
KUZCO WILL FAIL THE TEST

AND THE KINGDOM IS MINE!

YEAH, LADY, THIS WON'T GO OVER
TOO WELL WITH YZMA.

SHE'S KINDA GOT DIBS ON THE…
"KINGDOM IS MINE" DEAL.

IAM YZMA.

[SCREAMS]

HAVE YOU BEEN HER
ALL THIS TIME?

TO THE SECRET LAB!

PULL THE LEVER, KRONK!

TAKE THE STAIRS?

HEY, WHY NOT?

OHH…

LET'S SEE. WHAT CAN I USE
TO ELIMINATE BUCKY?

OH, I KNOW!

SLEEP-INDUCING FR-UIT!
HA HA HA HA!

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!

WHAT IS IT?

I LIKE BUCKY.
DON'T HURT THE LITTLE
SQUEAKER.

HE'S GOT A FUZZY TAIL.
HE'S CUTE.

BUT IT'S ONLY
A MAGIC SPELL.
HE'LL BE ASLEEP…

TEMPORARILY.

YEAH, WELL, I DON'T
WANNA CROSS THAT LINE.

YOU'LL HAVE TO
DO IT ON YOUR OWN.

MAGICAL FRUIT?
THAT'S JUST ASKIN'
FOR TROUBLE.

RRR. OH, FINE!

NAH, TOO BIG.

TOO HARD.

TOO MONKEY.

TOO WICKED-WITCHY.

OH! TOO PERFECT.

HMM. WITH EVERYBODY
GONE CANOEING,

NOTHING CAN MESS UP
MY STUDY DATE.

SNAGIKA?

EXCEPT YOU.

AND NO, I DON'T
WANT A MANGO.

OH, I MEAN SNAGIKA.

AI. AI. ALGIDY.

GEE, THANKS.

HEY! MELINA'LL BE HERE
ANY SECOND.

YOU BEHAVE, OR ELSE--

STOP IT!

HOW DO YOU SAY "STOP IT"?

WAIT. WHAT AM I DOING?
I KNOW HOW TO USE
THIS DICTIONARY.

UH-OH.

[BOING]
OW!

HEY, HEY,
WHAT DID I SAY?

COWBOY HAT? TOTALLY WORKS.

[YZMA CHUCKLES
SOFTLY]

[BELCH]

HEY, BUCKAROO,
CHECK IT OUT.

OH, NO! BUCKY!

[THINKING] UH-OH.
DID I JUST--

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

OH, NO! MELINA!

KUZCO?

UH…ONE SECOND!

[SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK]

[WHIMPERS]

MELINA…
WHAT A SURPRISE.

YOU INVITED ME.

OH. RIGHT. COOL.

WHERE'S BUCKY?

UM, HE'S…ASLEEP!
UPSTAIRS. YEAH.

HE TAUGHT ME A FULL
SQUIRREL VOCABULARY,

SO NOW HE'S NAPPING.

OK, THEN.

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE
PRETEST BEFORE YOUR
RE-TEST?

LET'S TALK
ONLY IN SQUIRREL.

UM…

OK…

GOOD. AHEM.

SQUEAKY-SQUEAKEN,
GOGA SQUEAK.

YEAH? WELL,
SQUEAKEN-SQUEAKER
SQUEAK SQUEAK.

YOU JUST SAID
I'M ABOUT TO BE HIT
BY A CART.

UH, NO, WAIT. UM…

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[PANTING]

SQUEAKEN GAGO,
SQUEAKEN-SQUEAKY.

REALLY? OH, WELL,
IN THAT CASE…

GA SQUEAKEN BOBA
SQUEAKITY.

UH…

WON'T BE A MOMENT.

SQUEAKITY SQUAK-SQUEAK
SQUEAKEN SQUEAK.

SQUEAKITY SQUEAK-SQUEAK,

SQUE-VANA-SQUIK.

SQUIBABA-SQUEAKEN.

SQUIBBITY BANA SQUOKEN.

SCHMEE SQUITTY GOO
SQUEAKEN-SQUEAK!

UH…

WAIT RIGHT HERE.

A-HEM.

HI!

YOU HAVEN'T LEARNED
ANYTHING FROM BUCKY,
HAVE YOU?

AND WHEREIS BUCKY?

DON'T KNOW.
I THOUGHT HE WAS
NAPPING UP HERE,

BUT, UH…

THERE HE IS!
HI, BUCKY!

DON'T WAKE HIM UP!

AW…ITTY CUTIE
BITTY SLEEPY.

HE'S NOT ASLEEP!
THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH HIM.

HE'S FINE. YOU'RE
GONNA WAKE HIM UP.

LET GO!
NO, YOU!

STOP IT!
YOU STOP IT FIRST!

IT'S TIME FOR KUZCO'S DOODLES!

THAT'S THE PART OF THE SHOW
WHERE YOURS TRULY DRAWS

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

SO I PULLED BUCKY.
THEN MELINA PULLED HIM.

THEN I PULLED,
AND MELINDA LET GO.

AND BUCKY WENT "WEE!"
OUT THE WINDOW. BUH-BYE.

THEN HE BOUNCED DOWN THE HILL--
BINK, BOINK, BOINK, OUCH--

AND LANDED RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
OF ONE OF THOSE…ROAD THINGIES.

AND THEN, JUST MY LUCK,
A CART…FILLED WITH MANGOES!

MELINA WAS ALL,
"OH, NO, MANGO CART!"

I WAS ALL,
"I'M ON IT, MELINA,"

THE HOTTIE-HOT-HOTTIE.

OH, MAN. LOOK AT ME GO!
WHOO-HOO!

THEN, WELL…

OK. I'M STUCK.

[MOANING]

[MUTTERING]

BUCKY! YOU'RE OK.
LISTEN, GET OUTTA
THE WAY!

A CART FULL OF MANGOES
IS ABOUT TO SQUISH YA!

STUPID SQUIRREL
DOESN'T UNDERSTAND
PEOPLE TALK!

YEAH, THIS LOOKS
PRETTY BAD.
BUT GET READY…

THIS IS RIGHT WHERE
YOUR FAVORITE EMPEROR'S

IMPRESSIVE LANGUAGE SKILLS
TOTALLY PAY OFF.

ALSO, I'M KING
OF THE TREE STUMP!

ALL HAIL TO STUMP KING!

[IMITATES BUGLE]

[GIGGLES]

TREE STUMP.

SORRY. BACK TO THE STORY.

BUCKY, YOU'RE ABOUT
TO BE HIT BY
A MANGO CART!

WAIT A MINUTE--
I LEARNED THAT.

LOOK OUT, HIT, CART.

[GASPS] I EVEN KNOW
THE WORD FOR MANGO!

SQUEAKEN SQUEAKER
SQUEAK-SQUEAK!

FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD,
BUCKY,

SQUEAKEN SQUEAKER
SNAGIKA SQUEAK-SQUEAK!

I DID IT!
♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH ♪

♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH,
UH-HUH! ♪

YES, YOU DID IT,
KUZCO.

YOU EVEN GOT
THE LAST ONE RIGHT--

"LOOK OUT! YOU'RE ABOUT
TO BE HIT BY A MANGO CART!"

YEP. AND YOU KNOW
WHAT'S FUNNY? THAT ONE
NEVER COMES UP IN REAL LIFE.

KUZCO! I'LL SQUEAKITY-SQUEAK
SQUEAKEN YOU YET!

LIKE I SAID,
MAGICAL FRUIT…

TROUBLE.

[PASTORAL MUSIC PLAYS]

Kuzco: STOP IT! STOP!
DON'T FALL FOR IT.

YOU'RE BEING MISLED.
OK, YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW…

OOH! LOOK AT
THE PASTORAL VILLAGE.

PRETTY LLAMAS.

MMM. YUMMY COMFORT FOOD.

AW. HAPPY, INNOCENT
CHILDREN.

ISN'T THIS LITTLE VILLAGE
THE IDEAL PLACE TO LIVE?

N-O. THIS PLACE IS DULLER
THAN THE DULLEST THING EVER.

WELCOME TO PEASANT BURG.

POPULATION--WHO CARES?

SURE, PACHA AND HIS GANG
WERE NICE ENOUGH TO TAKE
ME INTO THEIR HOME.

SO? WHOOPEE!

NOW I'M LIVING IN THE ATTIC
WITH 2 BRATS!

SEE, I MISS BEING SURROUNDED
BY, YOU KNOW…

EMPEROR-LIKE EMPEROR STUFF.

ALL I GET AROUND HERE IS…

TRANSPORTATION--
THE STINKY LLAMA EXPRESS.

ENTERTAINMENT--
A NICE GAME OF
POUR MUD ON YOURSELF.

AND IF I HAVE TO EAT
ONE MORE BOWL OF MYSTERY STEW…

I'M GONNA LOSE IT.

YAY! MYSTERY STEW!

I'VE LOST IT.

BUT I MISS MY STUFF!

ISN'T THERE SOME SORT OF

TEENSY-WEENSY
FINE PRINTY THINGY?

YOU ARE CUT OFF
FROM ALL ROYAL FUNDS

UNTIL YOU GRADUATE
FROM KUZCO ACADEMY.

UNLESS…

UNLESS?

WAIT. IF YOU'RE CUT OFF,
HOW ARE YOU PAYING ME?

OH. HA…DON'T WORRY.
I'LL GIVE YOU A LLAMA.

THEY'RE VERY VALUABLE.

OK. BACK TO THE…
UNLESS THING.

UNLESS, FOR EXAMPLE,
THE ROYAL HEALTH
IS IN JEOPARDY.

SO YOU MEAN LIKE
IF I GET SICK?

"IF AT ANY TIME EMPEROR
KUZCO IS STRICKEN
WITH AN AILMENT,

"HE IS TO NOT ATTEND
CLASSES

AND ROYAL FUNDS
CAN BE TAPPED--"

[GASPS] "TO ENSURE
HIS HEALTH." OH!

NO SCHOOL AND FREE MONEY
JUST FOR GETTIN' SICK?

THANKS!HASTA.

HERE'S YOUR, UH…LLAMA.

[BLEATS]

[ROOSTER CROWS]

[WHIMPERS] HELP!

WHOA! YOU'RE COVERED
IN SPOTS!

THAT'S THE SAME COLOR
AS MY CRAYON.
NO TALKIE!

HELP! HELP!

KUZCO, WHAT'S--

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

I'M STRICKEN
WITH AN AILMENT.

SOMEBODY CALL THE BANK.

LET ME SEE. HMM…

NEVER SEEN ANYTHING
LIKE THIS BEFORE.

THAT'S BECAUSE
IT'S A ROYAL ILLNESS.

WELL, YOU STAY IN BED.
I'VE GOT JUST THE THING
TO TAKE CARE OF THIS.

NOW, NOW, NO NEED
TO GO TO ANY TROUBLE.

KUZCO, YOU'RE FAMILY NOW.

UM, PRINCIPAL AMZY?

WHAT IS IT, KRONK?
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY

THINKING OF WAYS
TO CRUSH KUZCO'S CHANCES
OF GRADUATING?

BUT YOU'RE THE PRINCIPAL.
DON'T PRINCIPALS USUALLY
HELP STUDENTS?

YOU STILL
DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?

I DON'T GET IT?

DO I WANT IT?

WHAT EXACTLY IS IT?

[SCREAMS]

I'M YZMA!
WHOA!

NOW, WHAT DO YOU
WANT?

HOLD ON A SECOND.
I'M GETTIN' OVER
THE SHOCK.

OK, I'M GOOD.

JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE
TO KNOW THAT KUZCO
CALLED IN SICK TODAY.

PROBABLY FAKING.

GREAT. THERE GOES
TODAY'S PLAN

FOR FAILING
THE LITTLE PEST.

YEAH. HOW CAN YOU
FAIL HIM IF HE'S
NOT EVEN HERE?

WAIT A MINUTE!

YOU'RE BRRRR-ILLIANT!

COULD I GET THAT
IN WRITING?

FOR MY RESUME.

IF KUZCO MISSES
ENOUGH DAYS TO SCHOOL,
HE'LL FAIL!

HAH HAH HAH HAH!

TO THE SECRET LAB!

[WHIP CRACK]

[NEIGH]

PULL THE LEVER, KRONK.

I FOUND YOUR BIG BUST.

Voice: GET READY.
THIS HERE'S THE WILDEST RIDE
WEST OF THE AMAZON!

HA HA! WHOO!

WAIT A SECOND, KRONK.

WE'VE GOT 15 MINUTES.
COME ON.

ARE YOU SURE
YOU DON'T WANNA PUT IN
AN EXTRA QUARTER?

WE CAN MAKE IT.

[SIGHS] 25 CENTS NOW,
SAVE YA A TICKET, BUT…

NO.

NOW LET'S SEE…
HOW CAN I MAKE SURE KUZCO
MISSES ENOUGH DAYS OF SCHOOL?

OH, I KNOW!

FIRST, I'LL CLIMB
THE TALLEST MOUNTAIN.

NEXT, I'LL PUT A SNOW
POTION IN THE CLOUDS.

THEN SNOW WILL FALL
ALL OVER HIS VILLAGE.

AND HE'LL BUILD SNOWMEN
AND HAVE SNOWBALL FIGHTS

AND DRINK HOT CHOCOLATE
AND MAKE SNOW ANGELS!

IT'S A WINTER WONDERLAND!

SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

FUN? EHH. WE DON'T
WANT TO HAVE FUN.

SO INSTEAD,
WE'LL USE THIS!

BUBBLE BATH?

NOT JUST ANY BUBBLE BATH.
WHEN KUZCO USES THIS,

HE'LL BE STRICKEN
FOR 6 MONTHS
WITH SPOTOTIOSIS.

[CHUCKLES]

YEAH, HE'LL SMELL
LIKE LAVENDER

ON THE FIRST DAY
OF SPRING. GOTCHA.

Kuzco:
MORE MYSTERY STEW?

IT'S POTATO BEETLE
STEW.

COME AGAIN-A WHAT-A?

POTATO BEETLE STEW.

GRANDMA PACHA'S
FAMILY RECIPE.

THEY'VE YET TO FIND
AN AILMENT IT CAN'T CURE.

UH, YEAH, YOUR LITTLE
PEASANTY SNAKE-OIL

QUACK FAMILY RECIPE
IS NICE AND ALL, CHICHA,

BUT THIS IS
A ROYAL ILLNESS,

AND ACCORDING TO
THE ROYAL RECORD KEEPER,

I NOW HAVE ACCESS
TO THE ROYAL FUNDS.

SO…LET'S GIVE THIS PLACE
THE ROYAL TREATMENT!

[PING]

HEY, KUZCO,
HEARD YOU WERE SICK,

SO I BROUGHT YOUR…
HOMEWORK.

WHY HAVE YOU GOT
CRAYON SPOTS ON YOUR FACE?

HUH? WHO?

CRAYON? I DON'T HAVE
CRAYON ON MY FACE.

I'M HORRIBLY ILL
WITH AN AILMENT.
[SNAP]

BON-BON?

[SIREN]

PARDON US.
ROYAL EMERGENCY.

WE'RE ON OUR WAY
TO EXAMINE KUZCO.

NOT ANYMORE.

YEAH…I, UH…
GOT THE PART OF THE NURSE.

[SIREN]

[YZMA CACKLES]

W-WHAT HAPPENED?

I CAME HOME TOTHIS.

HE THINKS HE'S DOING
US A FAVOR

BY GIVING THE PLACE
THEROYAL TREATMENT.

WHERE DO YOU WANT
THE DRAWBRIDGE?

DRAWBRIDGE?

HE HAS GOT TO LEARN
SOONER OR LATER

THAT HE DOESN'T NEED
ALL THIS STUFF.

WAIT HERE.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

I CAN GET YOU A DEAL
ON A MOAT.

COMES WITH A CROCODILE.

UH…HE'S GONNA
NEED MY HELP.

DRAWBRIDGE SALESMEN
WANTED, EH?

BIG COMMISSIONS.

YOU MEATHEAD!

PACHA! WHAT DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE DOING?

[MUFFLED] YEAH,
BUT IT'S SO GOOD!

IS THAT…LOBSTER?

WHEN YOUR TASTE BUDS
HIT THIS…THEY'LL SING.

A QUICK BITE.
AND THEN ALL THIS
STUFF IS OUTTA HERE.

PACHA, CHICHA?
I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING
YOU TWO SHOULD KNOW.

I FOUND THIS
UNDER KUZCO'S BED.

AN ORANGE CRAYON?

HE'S FAKING, ISN'T HE?

OH! THAT MAKES ME SICK.

DID SOMEBODY
SAY SICK?

YEAH. SHE DID.

CHICHA SAID SICK.

I KNOW. I KNOW.

WELL, THEN, UH…
WHY'D YOU ASK?

QUIET.

I AM ROYAL DOCTOR
MYZY.

THIS IS ROYAL NURSE
KORNK.

NOW WHERE'S
THE ROYAL PATIENT?

YES, YES, I'VE SEEN
THIS BEFORE.

YOU HAVE?

HE'S DEFINITELY
COME DOWN

WITH AN EXTREME CASE
OF AN AILMENT.

WHAT DO WE DO?

GIVE HIM…A BATH!

WHOA! DON'T YOU HAVE
ANY OF THAT…
MR. HAPPY BATH?

OH, I USE THAT!
♪ SCRUBA-DUB-DUB ♪

♪ MR. HAPPY BATH'S
IN YOUR TUB ♪

DOOBA-DOOBA-DOOBA-
DOO.

NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOU MUST TAKE A BATH
IN MY BUBBLE BATH.

DOCTOR'S ORDERS.

UNLESS, OF COURSE,
YOU'RE NOT REALLY SICK.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

UH…BATH TIME.

♪ THERE WAS AN EMPEROR
WHO TOOK A BATH ♪

♪ AND KUZCO
WAS HIS NAME-O ♪

♪ K-U-Z-C-O, K-U-Z-C-O ♪

♪ K-U-Z-C-O,
AND KUZCO WAS MY NAME-O ♪

[LAUGHS]

[YZMA CHORTLES]

♪ K-U-Z-C-- ♪

LOOK! I'M, UH…
I'M CURED! HA HA HA!

HOORAY. HOORAY.

I'M…CURED.

CURED…OR CLEAN?

YOU WEREN'T REALLY
SICK, WERE YOU?

YES, I WAS.
I WAS SICK.

SICK OF ALL THIS
PEASANTY PEASANT
STUFF.

I MISSED MY OLD STUFF.

SO YOUWERE SICK…
HOMESICK.

WHO-SICK?

YOU MISS THE PALACE.
YOU'RE HOMESICK.

OK, SO MAYBE I AM.
BIG WHOOPETY-DOPPETY-
DOOPITY DEAL.

HEY, IT'S OK TO MISS
YOUR STUFF FROM THE PALACE
AND ALL,

BUT WHEN YOU DO
GO BACK THERE,

I'LL BET YOU'LL MISS
THE SIMPLE PEASANT LIFE
A LITTLE. RIGHT?

YEAH, MAYBE ALITTLE.

TINY BIT.

OH, NO!

HMM? WHAT?

I THOUGHT THAT DOCTOR
AND NURSE LOOKED FAMILIAR.

Y-YOU MEAN…

I REALLY AM SICK?

LOOKS LIKE 6-MONTH
SPOTOTIOSIS.

OH! 6 MONTHS?

BUT I'LL
MISS SCHOOL!
I'LL FAIL!

YZMA
BECOMES EMPRESS!
YOU GOTTA HELP ME!

WELL, I JUST MIGHT HAVE
A LITTLE PEASANTY
SNAKE-OILQUACK REMEDY.

[CHUCKLE]

SO…HOW MANY BOWLS
OF GRANDMA PACHA'S
MYSTERY STEW

DO I HAVE TO EAT?

ONLY 2.

WELL, THAT'S NOT SO BAD.

EVERY HOUR
FOR 24 HOURS.

EEW.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT PEASANT STEW
NEUTRALIZED MY POTION!

WHAAAT?

YEAH, THAT MIGHT BE
MORE THAN A QUARTER.

Kuzco: ON ANY TV SHOW,
THERE ARE MISTAKES,

OF COURSE I NEVER MESS UP.

EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE TIME.

♪ THERE WAS AN EMPEROR
TOOK A BATH ♪

♪ AND KUZCO WAS HIS NAME-O ♪

♪ K-U-Z-C--♪ WAIT.

WHAT'S NEXT?

THE LETTER IS "O."

RIGHT. AHEM.

♪ K-U-Z-C-- ♪

WAIT. WHAT'D WE SAY IT WAS?

"O"! IT'S K-U-Z-C-O!

[GROANS] SPELLING'S HARD.

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