The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 1, Episode 19 - U.F.kuzcO./Attack Sub - full transcript
[I- U.F.kuzcO.] After Kronk accidentally loosens an umbrella which rolls and Kuzco mistakes it for an UFO (causing havoc), Yzma decides to play aliens with Kronk and later expose Kuzco, hoping he'll be chased by the furious villagers. [II- Attack Sub] Kuzco feels Mr. Moleguaco is too hard on his lazy attitude. To the class's surprise, Moleguaco takes time off. Instead of the easy, gullible temp Kuzco expected, the class gets Mr. Notaempa, a mean Marine instructor type, so everyone hates Kuzco and wants Moleguaco back. When he does, they get two surprises.
TODAY'S SHOW
IS BROUGHT TO YOU
IN THAT THRILLING
NEW TECHNOLOGY,
KUZCO-VISION.
WOW.
I SOUND COOL.
THEME MUSIC.
♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪
♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪
♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪
♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE
THAT TEST ♪
♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪
♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪
YOU KNOW, IT'S
ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪
EXACTLY!
LET'S GO!
♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪
♪ HIS ABCs ♪
♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM ♪
♪ TO TOP HIM ♪
TO DESTROY HIM,
RIGHT?
UHH...
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO, GO!
♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪
♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪
♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪
♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪
♪ LET'S GO ♪
♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪
♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪
♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪
♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪
FRIENDS? I THOUGHT THIS
WAS ALL ABOUT ME.
HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!
THIS IS KUZCOTERIUS,
THE BRIGHTEST STAR
IN OUR WINTER SKIES.
SURROUNDING IT
ARE A COLLECTION
OF SMALLER STARS
KNOWN AS THE KUZCO WAY.
TOGETHER THEY FORM
AN IMAGE OF...
YOU KNOW WHO.
OH, I KNOW WHO,
I KNOW WHO.
ME!
IT'S LIKE
CONNECT THE DOTS.
DO IT AGAIN.
I JUST LOVE
KUZCONSTELLATION CLASS.
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
IT'S NOT ABOUT BELIEVING,
MALINA.
IT'S ABOUT
THE WONDER OF IT ALL.
WHO KNOW WHAT'S OUT THERE,
WHAT SPACE PEOPLE
ARE WAITING TO MEET ME,
BRING ME SPACE PRESENTS.
KUZCO, THERE IS
NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
THERE'S NOTHING OUT THERE
BUT PLANETS MADE OF ROCK
AND STARS MADE OF
BURNING GAS.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
IS IT, MR. M?
AS MUCH AS I AGREE
WITH YOU, MALINA,
I'M REQUIRED TO TEACH
THE APPROVED KUZCURRICULUM,
WHICH STATES
THAT THE PLANETS ARE MADE OF
MYSTICAL CLAY
MOLDED BY KUZCO'S HANDS.
AND THE STARS WERE FORMED
WHEN KUZCO
WEPT MAGICAL TEARS
THAT HARDENED INTO DIAMONDS
AND FLOATED UP
INTO THE HEAVENS.
I LOVE THAT STORY.
EXCEPT FOR THE MAGICAL
CRYING PART.
I DIDN'T REALLY CRY.
OH, KUZCO,
THE UNIVERSE
DOESN'T REVOLVE
AROUND YOU.
THERE'S NOTHING MAGICAL
ABOUT IT.
HEY, YOU'RE GOING
TO MISS THE PART ABOUT ME
LASSOING THE SUN
AND PULLING IT ACROSS THE SKY
WITH A HERD OF
ENCHANTED FLYING LLAMAS.
[DOOR CLOSES
IN DISTANCE]
HMM...FLYING LLAMAS.
IT'S NICE TO GET OUT,
ISN'T IT?
THAT OFFICE OF YOURS
IS SO DARK...
PURPLE.
KRONK, DARLING,
I THOUGHT MAYBE IF I MIX
AMONGST THE STUDENTS,
I MIGHT GET AN IDEA
OF HOW TO GET RID
OF KUZCO.
GET RID OF...
BUT, YOU'RE--
KRONK, SURELY BY NOW
YOU KNOW
I'M REALLY YZMA
IN DISGUISE.
SO DON'T MAKE ME
TEAR MY CLOTHES OFF.
OK, I'LL TAKE
YOUR WORD FOR IT.
DON'T DO ANYTHING
WE'LL BOTH REGRET.
CAN YOU PLEASE
ADJUST THIS UMBRELLA?
I FORGOT TO PUT ON
SUNTAN LOTION.
WHAT ARE YOU,
LIKE AN SBF 250?
300?
WHOOPS.
NOTHING OUT THERE
BUT ROCKS AND GAS.
MALINA NEEDS TO LEARN TO BE
A LITTLE MORE OPTIMISTIC.
HUH?
SPACE PEOPLE!
UH, KUZCO,
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
SPACE PEOPLE
ARE LOOKING FOR YOU?
I SAW THEIR SPACESHIP.
DID YOU ACTUALLY SEE
ANY SPACE PEOPLE?
NO,
BUT WHAT ELSE WOULD BE
IN A SPACESHIP?
DUH.
KUZCO, I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S OBVIOUSLY
A SEARCH SHIP.
THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE
TO FIND ME.
THEY'RE VERY FRUSTRATED.
THAT'S WHY
I'M IMPLEMENTING...
[FANFARE]
OPERATION HANDSOME-FACE.
A DRAWING
OF YOUR FACE?
SILLY CHICHA.
NOT JUST ANY DRAWING.
THE BIGGEST DRAWING
EVER.
SO BIG YOU CAN SEE IT
FROM OUTER SPACE.
THIS WAY
THE SPACE PEOPLE
KNOW WHERE I AM.
GET IT?
CHECK IT OUT.
MY NECK
IS A LANDING STRIP.
THAT LOOKS LIKE
THE WEST HILL.
YEAH, IT IS.
THE ROYAL MAPTOGRAPHER
FIGURED OUT
THE PERFECT SPOT
TO PUT
MY BIG FACE DRAWING.
HEY, BUT--
IT FACES KUZCOTERIUS.
PERFECT, HUH?
WELL, BETTER GET
A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.
TOMORROW,
OPERATION HANDSOME-FACE
BEGINS.
ISN'T THE WEST HILL
WHERE ALL THE VILLAGE
GRAIN IS PLANTED?
THE SEEDLINGS ARE
JUST BEGINNING TO SPROUT.
HE CAN'T DIG THAT UP.
KUZCO, I'M NOT SURE
ABOUT THIS.
YEAH, I KNOW.
MAYBE MY EYE SHOULD BE
A LITTLE HIGHER UP.
I MEAN THIS BIG DRAWING
OF YOUR FACE.
I BROUGHT URKON
WITH ME,
THE VILLAGE LEADER,
SO WE COULD DISCUSS IT.
KUZCOI--
IT'S KUZCO.
RIGHT. KUZOCO.
THE CROPS
ON THIS FIELD
ARE THE LIVELIHOOD
OF THE ENTIRE VILLAGE.
WHY SHOULD WE PERMIT YOU
TO DIG IT UP?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE A LITTLE SOMETHING CALLED
TOTAL ANNIHILATION?
THESE ARE SPACE PEOPLE,
PEOPLE,
WITH SUPERIOR
SPACE PEOPLE TECHNOLOGY.
NOW, THEY'RE LOOKING
FOR ME
AND WE DON'T WANT
TO DISAPPOINT THEM.
OR ELSE...KABLOOEY.
I WILL NOT ALLOW IT!
PLUS, THEY HAVE
SPACE PRESENTS.
PROBABLY ONE FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT, I'M IN.
DIG AWAY.
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME,
PRINCIPAL AMZY?
SO, YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND
IT'S ME, YZMA, IN DISGUISE?
YOU TOLD ME EARLIER,
REMEMBER?
PRINCIPAL AMZY.
OK, WE GET
THAT YOU GET IT.
YOU CAN STOP NOW.
OK...
PRINCIPAL AMZY.
LISTEN UP.
WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO.
TO THE SECRET LAB!
PULL THE LEVER, KRONK.
SURE THING...
PRINCIPAL AMZY.
PLEASE KEEP HANDS, FEET,
AND ALL FEATHERS
INSIDE THE CAR
AT ALL TIMES.
ENJOY THE RIDE.
[SIREN]
ARE YOU SPEEDING?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT'S THE LIMIT
ON THIS THING?
BEATS ME.
IT'S YOUR SECRET LAB.
THEY SHOULDN'T
GIVE SPEEDING TICKETS
ON ROLLER COASTERS.
ACTUALLY,
YOUR TICKET WAS FOR
CALLING HIM THOSE NAMES.
AND OUR TAIL LIGHT
WAS OUT.
WOULD HAVE BEEN
JUST A FIX-IT TICKET
IF IT WASN'T
FOR THE NAME-CALLING.
SO, WHAT ARE WE DOING
DOWN HERE?
KUZCO THINKS
HE'S GOING TO BE VISITED
BY SPACE PEOPLE.
ARE THEY BRINGING
PRESENTS?
THERE'S NO SUCH THING!
AS PRESENTS?
NO!
AS SPACE PEOPLE!
SAYS YOU.
YOU'RE NOT QUEEN
OF THE UNIVERSE.
KRONK,
WHAT KUZCO SAW WAS THAT.
A CRASHED SPACESHIP!
IT'S A PATIO UMBRELLA.
SPACE PEOPLE
ARE DISGUISING THEIR SHIPS
AS PATIO UMBRELLAS.
DEVIOUS.
KRONK, REPEAT AFTER ME--
THERE ARE NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
THERE ARE NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
BUT KUZCO
THINKS THERE IS.
BUT KUZCO
THINKS THERE IS.
OK, YOU CAN STOP
REPEATING NOW.
OK, YOU CAN STOP
REPEATING NOW.
REALLY, STOP IT!
IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY
ANYWAY.
YOU AND I ARE GOING
TO DISGUISE OURSELVES
AS SPACE PEOPLE,
LAND ON KUZCO'S
FACE DRAWING,
AND DEMAND HE SIGN OVER
THE KINGDOM TO ME.
IT'S BRILLIANT,
BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT!
HA HA HA HA HA!
HEY, MALINA,
COME TO WAIT FOR
THE SPACE PEOPLE
WITH ME?
NO, I'VE COME TO TALK
SOME SENSE INTO YOU.
KUZCO,
YOU RUINED THE CROPS
JUST BECAUSE OF
THIS SILLY BELIEF OF YOURS.
SILLY BELIEF?
EXCUSE ME, UH,
THESE ARE SPACE PEOPLE
WHO WANT TO
COMMUNICATE WITH ME,
AND I'M READY
TO TALK TO THEM
IN WHATEVER
SPACE LANGUAGE
THEY SPEAK.
EVEN KAZOO.
[PLAYS TUNE]
THAT'S IT.
I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE
TO PROVE TO YOU
ONCE AND FOR ALL
THAT THERE ARE NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
[ANIMALS HOOT AND HOWL,
CRICKETS CHIRP]
[KUZCO PLAYING KAZOO]
WHERE ARE THEY?
THEY SHOULD HAVE
BEEN HERE BY NOW.
KUZCO, WHY DO YOU INSIST
ON BELIEVING
IN SPACE PEOPLE?
WHY DO YOU INSIST ON
NOT BELIEVING IN THEM?
BECAUSE
THERE ARE NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE!
NO SUCH THING!?
BUT YOU SAID
WE'D ALL GO KABLOOEY.
OUR HARVEST IS RUINED
FOR NOTHING?
HOW WILL WE
GET THROUGH THE WINTER?
BUT THERE'S GOT TO BE
SPACE PEOPLE.
HE SAW ONE
OF THEIR SHIPS.
MAYBE IT WAS
A PATIO UMBRELLA.
THOSE THINGS ARE
ALWAYS COMING LOOSE.
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
WHEN ARE WE GOING
TO GO KABLOOEY?
NO...LISTEN.
I'M SURE THEY'LL
BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
KUZCO,
IT'S LIKE I TOLD YOU,
THERE'S NOTHING OUT THERE
BUT--
THE SPACE PEOPLE.
SEE, I TOLD YOU.
YOU JUST HAVE
TO BE A LITTLE MORE
OPTIMISTIC.
MAYBE.
GREETINGS, KUZCONIANS.
S-S-SPACE...
KUZCO, YOU OK?
KUZCO!
WE VISIT YOU FROM
THE FAR-OFF PLANET
OF...OF...
KRONKITER.
NO, NO, NO.
WE'RE FROM...
YZMARS.
I REALLY THINK
WE SHOULD BE FROM
KRONKITER.
IT'S BIGGER.
WHATEVER.
WELCOME, SPACE PEOPLE.
I AM URKON,
THE VILLAGE LEADER.
YEAH, BIG DEAL.
WHERE'S KUZCO?
WHAT ABOUT
MY PRESENT?
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU'RE NOT SPACE PEOPLE!
YOU'RE YZMA AND KRONK!
NO, WE'RE NOT.
RIGHT, KRONK?
SURE, YZMA, I'LL PROVE
WE'RE FROM SPACE.
UH, HOW'S IT GO, UH...
MAY THE SOMETHING-OR-OTHER
BE WITH YOU.
AND, UH,
LIVE LONG AND PREPOSTEROUS.
KRONK,
THERE ARE NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
SEE, I TOLD YOU THAT
EARLIER.
OOPS.
IT IS YZMA!
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
SEE HERE, YZMA,
WE DON'T MIND IF
YOUR COCKAMAMEY SCHEMES
MESS WITH KUZCO AT SCHOOL,
BUT DON'T MESS
WITH OUR VILLAGE!
SO, YOU MIGHT
WANT TO MOVE ALONG.
NOW, NOW,
PUT DOWN YOUR POINTY
PEASANT IMPLEMENTS.
PLEASE.
HA, I THINK WE, UH...
GOT TO GO!
HMM...
THE SPACE PEOPLE...
WHERE ARE THEY,
WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU FAINTED.
NO, NO, NO.
ME, NO FAINTY.
IT MUST HAVE BEEN
THEIR SPACE HYPNO-RAYS.
ZIPPITY-ZAP.
SO, ANYWAY, TELL ME
EVERYTHING THEY SAID.
KUZCO,
THE SPACE PEOPLE WERE--
WERE LOOKING FOR ME,
WANTING TO MEET ME,
WERE BIG FANS OF ME?
NO. ACTUALLY, THEY--
WERE...
THEY WERE JUST A SCOUT SHIP.
THEY'LL BE BACK LATER.
AFTER THEY REPORT
TO THE MOTHER SHIP.
THEY DIDN'T SAY
EXACTLY WHEN.
OH, WELL,
THAT MAKES SENSE...
I GUESS.
YOU KNOW, KUZCO,
WHEN I FIRST SAW
THE SPACE PEOPLE,
I WAS KIND OF SURPRISED.
GUESS I SHOULD HAVE BEEN
A LITTLE MORE...OPTIMISTIC.
SEE, I TOLD YOU.
THERE'S A LOT
OF WONDROUS THINGS
OUT IN SPACE,
ALL WANTING
TO GIVE ME PRESENTS.
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT ALL THAT,
BUT WHO KNOWS
WHAT'S UP THERE?
MAYBE...
ARE THEY GONE?
YEAH, THEY'RE GONE.
THEN LET'S GET BACK
TO THE LAB.
I'VE GOT
THIS GREAT IDEA.
WE'RE GOING TO BUILD
A FAKE SEA MONSTER
THAT ONLY KUZCO CAN SEE.
HA HA HA HA HA!
COME ON.
[KAZOO-LIKE SOUNDS]
SORRY,
CAN'T TALK TO YOU.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
LOOK, I APPRECIATE
THAT YOU CAME ALL THAT WAY
TO GIVE ME A PRESENT,
BUT I DON'T WANT
TO STAND HERE AND ARGUE.
SO, REPEAT AFTER ME--
THERE ARE NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
[KAZOO-LIKE SOUNDS]
LATER.
[ASKS QUESTION
IN ALIEN LANGUAGE]
[ANSWERS
"I DON'T KNOW"]
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
OUTRAGEOUS!
IT'S RIDICURAGEOUS!
KUZCO,
ALL MR. MOLEGUACO DID
WAS ASK US
TO WRITE A HAIKU.
5 SYLLABLES,
THEN 7 SYLLABLES,
THEN 5.
IT'S BEYOND EASY.
NO, HAIKUS ARE HARD.
YOU HAVE
TO COUNT SYLLABLES.
AND YOU HAVE TO WRITE.
YOU JUST WROTE ONE.
WROTE WHAT, A HAIKU?
IS THAT WHAT
YOU ARE SAYING?
I WROTE A HAIKU?
UM, THAT'S ANOTHER ONE.
SO, MAYBE
YOU'RE OVERREACTING.
OVERREACTING?
I DON'T THINK SO.
MALINA,
THAT TEACHER'S BRUTAL.
STOP TALKING IN HAIKUS.
HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED
THE WAY HE'S BEEN
TREATING US LATELY?
FOR TONIGHT'S HOMEWORK,
PLEASE READ PAGES
50 AND 51
IN YOUR HISTORY SCROLLS.
READTWO PAGES?
BOTH OF THEM?
FOR TODAY'S PHYSICS LAB,
I'D LIKE YOU TO WEIGH
THIS PHYSICS SCROLL.
W-W-WEIGH SOMETHING?
NO WAY.
THIS MORNING,
WE'RE GOING TO DISCUSS
RELATIVE PRONOUNS
SUCH AS WHAT AND THAT.
[PFFT PFFT]
WHAT?
WHEN ARE WE EVER GOING
TO USE THAT?
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
NOT TO MENTION THE WAY
HE'S ALWAYS
EXPLAINING WHAT THINGS ARE
AND HOW THINGS WORK.
WHO DOES MR. MOLEGUACO
THINK HE IS?
UH, I DON'T KNOW--
A TEACHER?
EXACTLY.
THIS GUY'S OUT OF CONTROL.
BUT IF WE CAN GET HIM
TO GO BYE-BYE FOR AWHILE,
WE COULD
GET A SUBSTITUTE
AND SUBS
DON'T MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING.
SUB TIME IS PARTY TIME.
A PARTY!
SHORT NOTICE,
BUT I CAN HANDLE IT.
WHAT'S THE THEME?
IT'S THE LAME-O
IDEA FESTIVAL.
CAN WE HAVE PINATAS?
SURE WE CAN, KRONK.
BUT ONLY IF YOU HELP ME
GET RID OF MR. M,
SO WE CAN GET A SUB.
I'M IN.
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU TWO
HAVE THIS DISASTER-TO-BE
UNDER CONTROL.
SEE YOU AT THE PARTY.
IS SHE ALLOWED
TO BRING A GUEST?
IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY,
MR. M.
KRONK, TELL HIM
WHAT HE'S WON.
YOU'VE WON...
AN ALL-EXPENSES-PAID
TROPICAL CANOE CRUISE.
CLIMB ABOARD
THE PACIFIC PADDLER
FOR 5 DAYS OF FUN,
SUN, AND...
PADDLING.
BUT TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE,
YOU GOT TO LEAVE NOW.
BON VOYAGE.
SORRY, KUZCO,
NO CRUISE FOR ME.
I GET SEASICK.
YOU'D BETTER GO HOME
FOR AT LEAST A WEEK, MR. M.
THERE'S BEEN A DANGEROUS
RADIATION LEAK.
KUZCO, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
I SAID, THERE'S BEEN
A DANGEROUS RADIATION LEAK.
OH, NO! A THIRD ARM!
THAT DANGEROUS
RADIATION LEAK
MUST BE TURNING ME
INTO A MUTANT!
YOUR MUTANT ARM
IS MADE OF WOOD.
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME,
PRINCIPAL AMZY?
YEAH, SHE'S OUT RIGHT NOW.
I'M PRINCIPAL, UH...
KANORK.
OH, RIGHT...
PRINCIPAL KANORK.
AND, UH, HA HA HA--
YOU'VE BEEN DOING
THAT TEACHING THING
A LOT LATELY,
SO WHY NOT TAKE
A WEEK OFF?
YOU DESERVE IT.
WHY, THANK YOU,
PRINCIPAL KANORK.
BUT, AS I'M
A DEVOTED TEACHER,
I WOULDN'T DREAM
OF ABANDONING
MY FINE STUDENT BODY.
UH, BOY...
AVOIDING WORK
IS MORE WORK
THAN WORKING.
AAH!
HAPPY RETIREMENT PARTY,
MR. M.
HEH HEH HEH.
IF ANYONE'S EARNED
THE RIGHT TO GOLF
EVERY DAY, SIR,
IT'S YOU.
I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH
TO RETIRE.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT, MR. M.
YOU'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH
TO RETIRE,
YOU'RE YOUNG ENOUGH
TO RETIRE.
OK, ENOUGH
WITH THE RADIATION LEAKS
AND THE VACATION GIVEAWAYS.
WHAT DO YOU TWO WANT?
THEY WANT A BREAK,
MR. MOLEGUACO.
ACTUALLY,
I WANT A PINATA.
KUZCO WANTS THE BREAK.
HE THINK YOU'RE
TOO HARD OF A TEACHER.
TOO HARD?
TEENY BIT.
WELL, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT I THINK
OF YOUR LITTLE
BREAK IDEA?
I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
I AM?
I HAVEN'T HAD A VACATION
FOR QUITE SOME TIME.
WE ALL DESERVE A BREAK.
WE DO?
IN FACT,
I'M GOING TO START MINE
RIGHT NOW!
OOOH, GO EASY
ON THE SUBSTITUTE.
ALOHA!
KUZCO TOTALLY GOT US
OUT OF DOING ANY WORK.
LISTEN UP!
I'M MR. NOTAEMPA,
YOUR SUBSTITUTE TEACHER.
PLAYTIME IS OVER.
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?
[POP]
YOU CAN RELAX, SUB-GUY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND
TO BE A TEACHER FOR US.
WE'RE ALL COOL.
WHOA...
GET SPLINTERS DOING THAT.
WHAT KIND OF SUB ARE YOU?
THE WORST KIND.
PSSST, MALINA.
I SAID NO TALKING!
[SNAP]
HI THERE.
JUST NEEDED TO STOP THE SHOW
FOR A SECOND
AND TAKE A BREAK.
I MEAN,
WHAT'S WITH THIS GUY?
IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T GET
THE SUBSTITUTE TEACHER THING.
SUB COMES IN,
KIDS GOOF OFF.
IT'S A GOOD SYSTEM,
AND HE'S RUINING IT.
PERHAPS
YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME.
I SAID...
NO TALKING!
AND NO STOPPING
THE SHOW!
NOW, LET'S GET BACK
TO IT!
HEY, KUZCO,
CHECK THIS OUT.
WHY, THANK YOU, KRONK.
QUITE A DRAWING.
CONGRATULATIONS.
HEH HEH HEH. THANKS.
IT'S A SERIES OF SKETCHES
I'M WORKING ON--
MR. NOTAEMPA,
MAN OR MONSTER?
NO, I MEAN
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU JUST DOUBLED
THE CLASS'S HOMEWORK.
YOU MEAN
YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
I LIKE IT.
WELL, I HOPE
YOU LIKE HOMEWORK, TOO,
BECAUSE YOU JUST TRIPLED IT
FOR THE ENTIRE CLASS.
HA HA!
JOKE'S ON YOU,
'CAUSE YOU HAVEN'T
GIVEN US ANY HOMEWORK.
I JUST, UH...
QUADRUPLED IT, DIDN'T I?
OCTUPLED? THAT'S NOT EVEN
A REAL WORD, RIGHT?
IT MEANS 8 TIMES.
AS IN
8 TIMES AS MUCH HOMEWORK.
YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN
FOR GETTING US OUT OF WORK
HAS SUCCEEDED IN
GETTING US MORE HOMEWORK
THAN WE'VE EVER HAD.
YEAH, BUT,
THAT DOESN'T MEAN
EVERYONE HATES ME.
DOES IT?
YES, IT DOES!
WELL, NO SUBSTITUTE
IS A MATCH FOR KUZCO.
AND BY KUZCO
I MEAN ME.
IT'S TIME
FOR KUZCO'S DOODLES.
THAT'S A PART OF THE SHOW
WHERE I SHOW YOU
HOW I CAN OUTSMART
MR. NOTAEMPA.
IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING--
WHATEVER HE WEIGHS--
MR. NOTAEMPA!
WAIT, HE COULD USE
SOME WRESTLING CLOTHES.
OH, AND A MASK.
YECH--THAT'S JUST WRONG.
DOODLES AREN'T
WORKING OUT TODAY.
LET'S GET BACK TO THE SHOW.
NOW WHAT?
I'LL COME UP WITH
SOMETHING ELSE.
LET'S SEE...
OH, I KNOW.
I COULD RUN AWAY
AND NEVER COME BACK.
KUZCO, MAYBE WE SHOULD GET
MR. MOLEGUACO BACK.
I GOT IT!
MAYBE WE SHOULD GET
MR. M BACK.
I JUST SAID THAT.
I WAS THINKING IT
BEFORE YOU SAID IT.
NO, YOU WEREN'T.
YOU WERE PROBABLY
THINKING ABOUT RUNNING AWAY
AND NEVER COMING BACK.
HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?
HMM...
Malina: THE FRONT DESK
SAID HE'D BE HERE.
MAYBE THAT'S HIM.
HARD TO SEE WITH THE GLARE
FROM THE PALE SKIN.
CANNONBALL!
[SPLASH]
WELL,
ISN'T THIS A SURPRISE?
HOP IN,
THE WATER'S PERFECT.
THERE'S NO TIME.
SOME BIG LEAGUE
TEACHER SCOUTS
ARE AT THE SCHOOL.
IF YOU IMPRESS THEM,
THEY MIGHT BUMP YOU UP
TO PROFESSOR.
KUZCO, WHEN ARE YOU
GOING TO LEARN?
OK, OK,
NO MORE CLEVERNESS.
THE TRUTH IS,
WE DON'T NEED A BREAK,
MR. M,
WE NEED YOU
AS OUR TEACHER.
YOU WANT ME BACK?
YEAH. WOULDN'T YOU RATHER
BE STUCK INSIDE WITH US
THAN OUT HERE
IN THE SUN
BY THE POOL?
SORRY, NO CAN DO.
I LOVE IT HERE.
I'M THINKING ABOUT
THAT RETIREMENT THING
YOU MENTIONED.
YOU'RE NEVER
COMING BACK?
SIR, I SHOULD NEVER
HAVE COMPLAINED
ABOUT ALL THE WORK.
YOU BEING GONE
HAS HELPED ME REALIZE
JUST HOW MUCH
I VALUE YOU,
NOT JUST AS A TEACHER,
BUT AS A SNAPPY DRESSER.
BY THE WAY,
NICE SWIM CAP.
THOSE BACK IN STYLE?
SAVE IT, KUZCO.
NOW THAT YOU'VE LEARNED
TO STOP COMPLAINING,
I'LL COME BACK.
IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE,
CLASS.
BUT BEFORE I BEGIN
TODAY'S LESSON,
I THINK YOU ALL MIGHT
WANT TO SAY GOODBYE
TO MR. NOTAEMPA.
HEY, YOU TWO
KNOW EACH OTHER?
KNOW EACH OTHER?
WE'RE COUSINS.
WHEN I NEED SOMEONE
TO SCARE YOU ALL
BACK IN LINE,
HE'S THE FIRST ONE
I CALL.
WORKS EVERY YEAR.
SEE YOU AT
THE FAMILY WRESTLE-OFF.
WOULDN'T MISS IT.
VERY CLEVER, MR. M.
ALMOST AS CLEVER
AS SOMETHING I'D DO.
THANK YOU, KUZCO.
AND NOW YOU'VE LEARNED
YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY
FROM WORK.
OUR NEXT LESSON IS
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE
THAN WORK!
BEST FIELD TRIP EVER.
BUT WE'RE NOT LEARNING
ANYTHING.
SURE WE ARE.
WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT
TROPICAL CULTURE,
SOLAR RADIATION,
THE THE PHYSICS OF--
CANNONBALL!
WATER DISPLACEMENT.
IT'S TIME FOR
HOW TO SPEAK ALIEN.
LESSON 1--
DO YOU HAVE ANY
END CREDITS I MAY BORROW?
[PLAYS CIRCUS TUNE]
LESSON 2--
I'M SORRY, BUT WE'RE
ALL OUT OF END CREDITS.
[PLAYS TUNELESS NOTES]
LESSON 3--
HEY, ISN'T THAT
SOME END CREDITS
RIGHT THERE?
[PLAYS MORE NOTES]
LESSON 4--
NO, THESE END CREDITS
ARE ALREADY DONE.
COME BACK TOMORROW.
[PLAYS THREE NOTES]
IS BROUGHT TO YOU
IN THAT THRILLING
NEW TECHNOLOGY,
KUZCO-VISION.
WOW.
I SOUND COOL.
THEME MUSIC.
♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪
♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪
♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪
♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE
THAT TEST ♪
♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪
♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪
YOU KNOW, IT'S
ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪
EXACTLY!
LET'S GO!
♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪
♪ HIS ABCs ♪
♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM ♪
♪ TO TOP HIM ♪
TO DESTROY HIM,
RIGHT?
UHH...
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO, GO!
♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪
♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪
♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪
♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪
♪ LET'S GO ♪
♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪
♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪
♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪
♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪
FRIENDS? I THOUGHT THIS
WAS ALL ABOUT ME.
HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!
THIS IS KUZCOTERIUS,
THE BRIGHTEST STAR
IN OUR WINTER SKIES.
SURROUNDING IT
ARE A COLLECTION
OF SMALLER STARS
KNOWN AS THE KUZCO WAY.
TOGETHER THEY FORM
AN IMAGE OF...
YOU KNOW WHO.
OH, I KNOW WHO,
I KNOW WHO.
ME!
IT'S LIKE
CONNECT THE DOTS.
DO IT AGAIN.
I JUST LOVE
KUZCONSTELLATION CLASS.
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
IT'S NOT ABOUT BELIEVING,
MALINA.
IT'S ABOUT
THE WONDER OF IT ALL.
WHO KNOW WHAT'S OUT THERE,
WHAT SPACE PEOPLE
ARE WAITING TO MEET ME,
BRING ME SPACE PRESENTS.
KUZCO, THERE IS
NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
THERE'S NOTHING OUT THERE
BUT PLANETS MADE OF ROCK
AND STARS MADE OF
BURNING GAS.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
IS IT, MR. M?
AS MUCH AS I AGREE
WITH YOU, MALINA,
I'M REQUIRED TO TEACH
THE APPROVED KUZCURRICULUM,
WHICH STATES
THAT THE PLANETS ARE MADE OF
MYSTICAL CLAY
MOLDED BY KUZCO'S HANDS.
AND THE STARS WERE FORMED
WHEN KUZCO
WEPT MAGICAL TEARS
THAT HARDENED INTO DIAMONDS
AND FLOATED UP
INTO THE HEAVENS.
I LOVE THAT STORY.
EXCEPT FOR THE MAGICAL
CRYING PART.
I DIDN'T REALLY CRY.
OH, KUZCO,
THE UNIVERSE
DOESN'T REVOLVE
AROUND YOU.
THERE'S NOTHING MAGICAL
ABOUT IT.
HEY, YOU'RE GOING
TO MISS THE PART ABOUT ME
LASSOING THE SUN
AND PULLING IT ACROSS THE SKY
WITH A HERD OF
ENCHANTED FLYING LLAMAS.
[DOOR CLOSES
IN DISTANCE]
HMM...FLYING LLAMAS.
IT'S NICE TO GET OUT,
ISN'T IT?
THAT OFFICE OF YOURS
IS SO DARK...
PURPLE.
KRONK, DARLING,
I THOUGHT MAYBE IF I MIX
AMONGST THE STUDENTS,
I MIGHT GET AN IDEA
OF HOW TO GET RID
OF KUZCO.
GET RID OF...
BUT, YOU'RE--
KRONK, SURELY BY NOW
YOU KNOW
I'M REALLY YZMA
IN DISGUISE.
SO DON'T MAKE ME
TEAR MY CLOTHES OFF.
OK, I'LL TAKE
YOUR WORD FOR IT.
DON'T DO ANYTHING
WE'LL BOTH REGRET.
CAN YOU PLEASE
ADJUST THIS UMBRELLA?
I FORGOT TO PUT ON
SUNTAN LOTION.
WHAT ARE YOU,
LIKE AN SBF 250?
300?
WHOOPS.
NOTHING OUT THERE
BUT ROCKS AND GAS.
MALINA NEEDS TO LEARN TO BE
A LITTLE MORE OPTIMISTIC.
HUH?
SPACE PEOPLE!
UH, KUZCO,
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
SPACE PEOPLE
ARE LOOKING FOR YOU?
I SAW THEIR SPACESHIP.
DID YOU ACTUALLY SEE
ANY SPACE PEOPLE?
NO,
BUT WHAT ELSE WOULD BE
IN A SPACESHIP?
DUH.
KUZCO, I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S OBVIOUSLY
A SEARCH SHIP.
THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE
TO FIND ME.
THEY'RE VERY FRUSTRATED.
THAT'S WHY
I'M IMPLEMENTING...
[FANFARE]
OPERATION HANDSOME-FACE.
A DRAWING
OF YOUR FACE?
SILLY CHICHA.
NOT JUST ANY DRAWING.
THE BIGGEST DRAWING
EVER.
SO BIG YOU CAN SEE IT
FROM OUTER SPACE.
THIS WAY
THE SPACE PEOPLE
KNOW WHERE I AM.
GET IT?
CHECK IT OUT.
MY NECK
IS A LANDING STRIP.
THAT LOOKS LIKE
THE WEST HILL.
YEAH, IT IS.
THE ROYAL MAPTOGRAPHER
FIGURED OUT
THE PERFECT SPOT
TO PUT
MY BIG FACE DRAWING.
HEY, BUT--
IT FACES KUZCOTERIUS.
PERFECT, HUH?
WELL, BETTER GET
A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.
TOMORROW,
OPERATION HANDSOME-FACE
BEGINS.
ISN'T THE WEST HILL
WHERE ALL THE VILLAGE
GRAIN IS PLANTED?
THE SEEDLINGS ARE
JUST BEGINNING TO SPROUT.
HE CAN'T DIG THAT UP.
KUZCO, I'M NOT SURE
ABOUT THIS.
YEAH, I KNOW.
MAYBE MY EYE SHOULD BE
A LITTLE HIGHER UP.
I MEAN THIS BIG DRAWING
OF YOUR FACE.
I BROUGHT URKON
WITH ME,
THE VILLAGE LEADER,
SO WE COULD DISCUSS IT.
KUZCOI--
IT'S KUZCO.
RIGHT. KUZOCO.
THE CROPS
ON THIS FIELD
ARE THE LIVELIHOOD
OF THE ENTIRE VILLAGE.
WHY SHOULD WE PERMIT YOU
TO DIG IT UP?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE A LITTLE SOMETHING CALLED
TOTAL ANNIHILATION?
THESE ARE SPACE PEOPLE,
PEOPLE,
WITH SUPERIOR
SPACE PEOPLE TECHNOLOGY.
NOW, THEY'RE LOOKING
FOR ME
AND WE DON'T WANT
TO DISAPPOINT THEM.
OR ELSE...KABLOOEY.
I WILL NOT ALLOW IT!
PLUS, THEY HAVE
SPACE PRESENTS.
PROBABLY ONE FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT, I'M IN.
DIG AWAY.
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME,
PRINCIPAL AMZY?
SO, YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND
IT'S ME, YZMA, IN DISGUISE?
YOU TOLD ME EARLIER,
REMEMBER?
PRINCIPAL AMZY.
OK, WE GET
THAT YOU GET IT.
YOU CAN STOP NOW.
OK...
PRINCIPAL AMZY.
LISTEN UP.
WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO.
TO THE SECRET LAB!
PULL THE LEVER, KRONK.
SURE THING...
PRINCIPAL AMZY.
PLEASE KEEP HANDS, FEET,
AND ALL FEATHERS
INSIDE THE CAR
AT ALL TIMES.
ENJOY THE RIDE.
[SIREN]
ARE YOU SPEEDING?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT'S THE LIMIT
ON THIS THING?
BEATS ME.
IT'S YOUR SECRET LAB.
THEY SHOULDN'T
GIVE SPEEDING TICKETS
ON ROLLER COASTERS.
ACTUALLY,
YOUR TICKET WAS FOR
CALLING HIM THOSE NAMES.
AND OUR TAIL LIGHT
WAS OUT.
WOULD HAVE BEEN
JUST A FIX-IT TICKET
IF IT WASN'T
FOR THE NAME-CALLING.
SO, WHAT ARE WE DOING
DOWN HERE?
KUZCO THINKS
HE'S GOING TO BE VISITED
BY SPACE PEOPLE.
ARE THEY BRINGING
PRESENTS?
THERE'S NO SUCH THING!
AS PRESENTS?
NO!
AS SPACE PEOPLE!
SAYS YOU.
YOU'RE NOT QUEEN
OF THE UNIVERSE.
KRONK,
WHAT KUZCO SAW WAS THAT.
A CRASHED SPACESHIP!
IT'S A PATIO UMBRELLA.
SPACE PEOPLE
ARE DISGUISING THEIR SHIPS
AS PATIO UMBRELLAS.
DEVIOUS.
KRONK, REPEAT AFTER ME--
THERE ARE NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
THERE ARE NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
BUT KUZCO
THINKS THERE IS.
BUT KUZCO
THINKS THERE IS.
OK, YOU CAN STOP
REPEATING NOW.
OK, YOU CAN STOP
REPEATING NOW.
REALLY, STOP IT!
IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY
ANYWAY.
YOU AND I ARE GOING
TO DISGUISE OURSELVES
AS SPACE PEOPLE,
LAND ON KUZCO'S
FACE DRAWING,
AND DEMAND HE SIGN OVER
THE KINGDOM TO ME.
IT'S BRILLIANT,
BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT!
HA HA HA HA HA!
HEY, MALINA,
COME TO WAIT FOR
THE SPACE PEOPLE
WITH ME?
NO, I'VE COME TO TALK
SOME SENSE INTO YOU.
KUZCO,
YOU RUINED THE CROPS
JUST BECAUSE OF
THIS SILLY BELIEF OF YOURS.
SILLY BELIEF?
EXCUSE ME, UH,
THESE ARE SPACE PEOPLE
WHO WANT TO
COMMUNICATE WITH ME,
AND I'M READY
TO TALK TO THEM
IN WHATEVER
SPACE LANGUAGE
THEY SPEAK.
EVEN KAZOO.
[PLAYS TUNE]
THAT'S IT.
I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE
TO PROVE TO YOU
ONCE AND FOR ALL
THAT THERE ARE NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
[ANIMALS HOOT AND HOWL,
CRICKETS CHIRP]
[KUZCO PLAYING KAZOO]
WHERE ARE THEY?
THEY SHOULD HAVE
BEEN HERE BY NOW.
KUZCO, WHY DO YOU INSIST
ON BELIEVING
IN SPACE PEOPLE?
WHY DO YOU INSIST ON
NOT BELIEVING IN THEM?
BECAUSE
THERE ARE NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE!
NO SUCH THING!?
BUT YOU SAID
WE'D ALL GO KABLOOEY.
OUR HARVEST IS RUINED
FOR NOTHING?
HOW WILL WE
GET THROUGH THE WINTER?
BUT THERE'S GOT TO BE
SPACE PEOPLE.
HE SAW ONE
OF THEIR SHIPS.
MAYBE IT WAS
A PATIO UMBRELLA.
THOSE THINGS ARE
ALWAYS COMING LOOSE.
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
WHEN ARE WE GOING
TO GO KABLOOEY?
NO...LISTEN.
I'M SURE THEY'LL
BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
KUZCO,
IT'S LIKE I TOLD YOU,
THERE'S NOTHING OUT THERE
BUT--
THE SPACE PEOPLE.
SEE, I TOLD YOU.
YOU JUST HAVE
TO BE A LITTLE MORE
OPTIMISTIC.
MAYBE.
GREETINGS, KUZCONIANS.
S-S-SPACE...
KUZCO, YOU OK?
KUZCO!
WE VISIT YOU FROM
THE FAR-OFF PLANET
OF...OF...
KRONKITER.
NO, NO, NO.
WE'RE FROM...
YZMARS.
I REALLY THINK
WE SHOULD BE FROM
KRONKITER.
IT'S BIGGER.
WHATEVER.
WELCOME, SPACE PEOPLE.
I AM URKON,
THE VILLAGE LEADER.
YEAH, BIG DEAL.
WHERE'S KUZCO?
WHAT ABOUT
MY PRESENT?
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU'RE NOT SPACE PEOPLE!
YOU'RE YZMA AND KRONK!
NO, WE'RE NOT.
RIGHT, KRONK?
SURE, YZMA, I'LL PROVE
WE'RE FROM SPACE.
UH, HOW'S IT GO, UH...
MAY THE SOMETHING-OR-OTHER
BE WITH YOU.
AND, UH,
LIVE LONG AND PREPOSTEROUS.
KRONK,
THERE ARE NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
SEE, I TOLD YOU THAT
EARLIER.
OOPS.
IT IS YZMA!
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
SEE HERE, YZMA,
WE DON'T MIND IF
YOUR COCKAMAMEY SCHEMES
MESS WITH KUZCO AT SCHOOL,
BUT DON'T MESS
WITH OUR VILLAGE!
SO, YOU MIGHT
WANT TO MOVE ALONG.
NOW, NOW,
PUT DOWN YOUR POINTY
PEASANT IMPLEMENTS.
PLEASE.
HA, I THINK WE, UH...
GOT TO GO!
HMM...
THE SPACE PEOPLE...
WHERE ARE THEY,
WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU FAINTED.
NO, NO, NO.
ME, NO FAINTY.
IT MUST HAVE BEEN
THEIR SPACE HYPNO-RAYS.
ZIPPITY-ZAP.
SO, ANYWAY, TELL ME
EVERYTHING THEY SAID.
KUZCO,
THE SPACE PEOPLE WERE--
WERE LOOKING FOR ME,
WANTING TO MEET ME,
WERE BIG FANS OF ME?
NO. ACTUALLY, THEY--
WERE...
THEY WERE JUST A SCOUT SHIP.
THEY'LL BE BACK LATER.
AFTER THEY REPORT
TO THE MOTHER SHIP.
THEY DIDN'T SAY
EXACTLY WHEN.
OH, WELL,
THAT MAKES SENSE...
I GUESS.
YOU KNOW, KUZCO,
WHEN I FIRST SAW
THE SPACE PEOPLE,
I WAS KIND OF SURPRISED.
GUESS I SHOULD HAVE BEEN
A LITTLE MORE...OPTIMISTIC.
SEE, I TOLD YOU.
THERE'S A LOT
OF WONDROUS THINGS
OUT IN SPACE,
ALL WANTING
TO GIVE ME PRESENTS.
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT ALL THAT,
BUT WHO KNOWS
WHAT'S UP THERE?
MAYBE...
ARE THEY GONE?
YEAH, THEY'RE GONE.
THEN LET'S GET BACK
TO THE LAB.
I'VE GOT
THIS GREAT IDEA.
WE'RE GOING TO BUILD
A FAKE SEA MONSTER
THAT ONLY KUZCO CAN SEE.
HA HA HA HA HA!
COME ON.
[KAZOO-LIKE SOUNDS]
SORRY,
CAN'T TALK TO YOU.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
LOOK, I APPRECIATE
THAT YOU CAME ALL THAT WAY
TO GIVE ME A PRESENT,
BUT I DON'T WANT
TO STAND HERE AND ARGUE.
SO, REPEAT AFTER ME--
THERE ARE NO SUCH THING
AS SPACE PEOPLE.
[KAZOO-LIKE SOUNDS]
LATER.
[ASKS QUESTION
IN ALIEN LANGUAGE]
[ANSWERS
"I DON'T KNOW"]
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
OUTRAGEOUS!
IT'S RIDICURAGEOUS!
KUZCO,
ALL MR. MOLEGUACO DID
WAS ASK US
TO WRITE A HAIKU.
5 SYLLABLES,
THEN 7 SYLLABLES,
THEN 5.
IT'S BEYOND EASY.
NO, HAIKUS ARE HARD.
YOU HAVE
TO COUNT SYLLABLES.
AND YOU HAVE TO WRITE.
YOU JUST WROTE ONE.
WROTE WHAT, A HAIKU?
IS THAT WHAT
YOU ARE SAYING?
I WROTE A HAIKU?
UM, THAT'S ANOTHER ONE.
SO, MAYBE
YOU'RE OVERREACTING.
OVERREACTING?
I DON'T THINK SO.
MALINA,
THAT TEACHER'S BRUTAL.
STOP TALKING IN HAIKUS.
HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED
THE WAY HE'S BEEN
TREATING US LATELY?
FOR TONIGHT'S HOMEWORK,
PLEASE READ PAGES
50 AND 51
IN YOUR HISTORY SCROLLS.
READTWO PAGES?
BOTH OF THEM?
FOR TODAY'S PHYSICS LAB,
I'D LIKE YOU TO WEIGH
THIS PHYSICS SCROLL.
W-W-WEIGH SOMETHING?
NO WAY.
THIS MORNING,
WE'RE GOING TO DISCUSS
RELATIVE PRONOUNS
SUCH AS WHAT AND THAT.
[PFFT PFFT]
WHAT?
WHEN ARE WE EVER GOING
TO USE THAT?
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
NOT TO MENTION THE WAY
HE'S ALWAYS
EXPLAINING WHAT THINGS ARE
AND HOW THINGS WORK.
WHO DOES MR. MOLEGUACO
THINK HE IS?
UH, I DON'T KNOW--
A TEACHER?
EXACTLY.
THIS GUY'S OUT OF CONTROL.
BUT IF WE CAN GET HIM
TO GO BYE-BYE FOR AWHILE,
WE COULD
GET A SUBSTITUTE
AND SUBS
DON'T MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING.
SUB TIME IS PARTY TIME.
A PARTY!
SHORT NOTICE,
BUT I CAN HANDLE IT.
WHAT'S THE THEME?
IT'S THE LAME-O
IDEA FESTIVAL.
CAN WE HAVE PINATAS?
SURE WE CAN, KRONK.
BUT ONLY IF YOU HELP ME
GET RID OF MR. M,
SO WE CAN GET A SUB.
I'M IN.
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU TWO
HAVE THIS DISASTER-TO-BE
UNDER CONTROL.
SEE YOU AT THE PARTY.
IS SHE ALLOWED
TO BRING A GUEST?
IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY,
MR. M.
KRONK, TELL HIM
WHAT HE'S WON.
YOU'VE WON...
AN ALL-EXPENSES-PAID
TROPICAL CANOE CRUISE.
CLIMB ABOARD
THE PACIFIC PADDLER
FOR 5 DAYS OF FUN,
SUN, AND...
PADDLING.
BUT TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE,
YOU GOT TO LEAVE NOW.
BON VOYAGE.
SORRY, KUZCO,
NO CRUISE FOR ME.
I GET SEASICK.
YOU'D BETTER GO HOME
FOR AT LEAST A WEEK, MR. M.
THERE'S BEEN A DANGEROUS
RADIATION LEAK.
KUZCO, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
I SAID, THERE'S BEEN
A DANGEROUS RADIATION LEAK.
OH, NO! A THIRD ARM!
THAT DANGEROUS
RADIATION LEAK
MUST BE TURNING ME
INTO A MUTANT!
YOUR MUTANT ARM
IS MADE OF WOOD.
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME,
PRINCIPAL AMZY?
YEAH, SHE'S OUT RIGHT NOW.
I'M PRINCIPAL, UH...
KANORK.
OH, RIGHT...
PRINCIPAL KANORK.
AND, UH, HA HA HA--
YOU'VE BEEN DOING
THAT TEACHING THING
A LOT LATELY,
SO WHY NOT TAKE
A WEEK OFF?
YOU DESERVE IT.
WHY, THANK YOU,
PRINCIPAL KANORK.
BUT, AS I'M
A DEVOTED TEACHER,
I WOULDN'T DREAM
OF ABANDONING
MY FINE STUDENT BODY.
UH, BOY...
AVOIDING WORK
IS MORE WORK
THAN WORKING.
AAH!
HAPPY RETIREMENT PARTY,
MR. M.
HEH HEH HEH.
IF ANYONE'S EARNED
THE RIGHT TO GOLF
EVERY DAY, SIR,
IT'S YOU.
I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH
TO RETIRE.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT, MR. M.
YOU'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH
TO RETIRE,
YOU'RE YOUNG ENOUGH
TO RETIRE.
OK, ENOUGH
WITH THE RADIATION LEAKS
AND THE VACATION GIVEAWAYS.
WHAT DO YOU TWO WANT?
THEY WANT A BREAK,
MR. MOLEGUACO.
ACTUALLY,
I WANT A PINATA.
KUZCO WANTS THE BREAK.
HE THINK YOU'RE
TOO HARD OF A TEACHER.
TOO HARD?
TEENY BIT.
WELL, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT I THINK
OF YOUR LITTLE
BREAK IDEA?
I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
I AM?
I HAVEN'T HAD A VACATION
FOR QUITE SOME TIME.
WE ALL DESERVE A BREAK.
WE DO?
IN FACT,
I'M GOING TO START MINE
RIGHT NOW!
OOOH, GO EASY
ON THE SUBSTITUTE.
ALOHA!
KUZCO TOTALLY GOT US
OUT OF DOING ANY WORK.
LISTEN UP!
I'M MR. NOTAEMPA,
YOUR SUBSTITUTE TEACHER.
PLAYTIME IS OVER.
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?
[POP]
YOU CAN RELAX, SUB-GUY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND
TO BE A TEACHER FOR US.
WE'RE ALL COOL.
WHOA...
GET SPLINTERS DOING THAT.
WHAT KIND OF SUB ARE YOU?
THE WORST KIND.
PSSST, MALINA.
I SAID NO TALKING!
[SNAP]
HI THERE.
JUST NEEDED TO STOP THE SHOW
FOR A SECOND
AND TAKE A BREAK.
I MEAN,
WHAT'S WITH THIS GUY?
IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T GET
THE SUBSTITUTE TEACHER THING.
SUB COMES IN,
KIDS GOOF OFF.
IT'S A GOOD SYSTEM,
AND HE'S RUINING IT.
PERHAPS
YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME.
I SAID...
NO TALKING!
AND NO STOPPING
THE SHOW!
NOW, LET'S GET BACK
TO IT!
HEY, KUZCO,
CHECK THIS OUT.
WHY, THANK YOU, KRONK.
QUITE A DRAWING.
CONGRATULATIONS.
HEH HEH HEH. THANKS.
IT'S A SERIES OF SKETCHES
I'M WORKING ON--
MR. NOTAEMPA,
MAN OR MONSTER?
NO, I MEAN
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU JUST DOUBLED
THE CLASS'S HOMEWORK.
YOU MEAN
YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
I LIKE IT.
WELL, I HOPE
YOU LIKE HOMEWORK, TOO,
BECAUSE YOU JUST TRIPLED IT
FOR THE ENTIRE CLASS.
HA HA!
JOKE'S ON YOU,
'CAUSE YOU HAVEN'T
GIVEN US ANY HOMEWORK.
I JUST, UH...
QUADRUPLED IT, DIDN'T I?
OCTUPLED? THAT'S NOT EVEN
A REAL WORD, RIGHT?
IT MEANS 8 TIMES.
AS IN
8 TIMES AS MUCH HOMEWORK.
YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN
FOR GETTING US OUT OF WORK
HAS SUCCEEDED IN
GETTING US MORE HOMEWORK
THAN WE'VE EVER HAD.
YEAH, BUT,
THAT DOESN'T MEAN
EVERYONE HATES ME.
DOES IT?
YES, IT DOES!
WELL, NO SUBSTITUTE
IS A MATCH FOR KUZCO.
AND BY KUZCO
I MEAN ME.
IT'S TIME
FOR KUZCO'S DOODLES.
THAT'S A PART OF THE SHOW
WHERE I SHOW YOU
HOW I CAN OUTSMART
MR. NOTAEMPA.
IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING--
WHATEVER HE WEIGHS--
MR. NOTAEMPA!
WAIT, HE COULD USE
SOME WRESTLING CLOTHES.
OH, AND A MASK.
YECH--THAT'S JUST WRONG.
DOODLES AREN'T
WORKING OUT TODAY.
LET'S GET BACK TO THE SHOW.
NOW WHAT?
I'LL COME UP WITH
SOMETHING ELSE.
LET'S SEE...
OH, I KNOW.
I COULD RUN AWAY
AND NEVER COME BACK.
KUZCO, MAYBE WE SHOULD GET
MR. MOLEGUACO BACK.
I GOT IT!
MAYBE WE SHOULD GET
MR. M BACK.
I JUST SAID THAT.
I WAS THINKING IT
BEFORE YOU SAID IT.
NO, YOU WEREN'T.
YOU WERE PROBABLY
THINKING ABOUT RUNNING AWAY
AND NEVER COMING BACK.
HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?
HMM...
Malina: THE FRONT DESK
SAID HE'D BE HERE.
MAYBE THAT'S HIM.
HARD TO SEE WITH THE GLARE
FROM THE PALE SKIN.
CANNONBALL!
[SPLASH]
WELL,
ISN'T THIS A SURPRISE?
HOP IN,
THE WATER'S PERFECT.
THERE'S NO TIME.
SOME BIG LEAGUE
TEACHER SCOUTS
ARE AT THE SCHOOL.
IF YOU IMPRESS THEM,
THEY MIGHT BUMP YOU UP
TO PROFESSOR.
KUZCO, WHEN ARE YOU
GOING TO LEARN?
OK, OK,
NO MORE CLEVERNESS.
THE TRUTH IS,
WE DON'T NEED A BREAK,
MR. M,
WE NEED YOU
AS OUR TEACHER.
YOU WANT ME BACK?
YEAH. WOULDN'T YOU RATHER
BE STUCK INSIDE WITH US
THAN OUT HERE
IN THE SUN
BY THE POOL?
SORRY, NO CAN DO.
I LOVE IT HERE.
I'M THINKING ABOUT
THAT RETIREMENT THING
YOU MENTIONED.
YOU'RE NEVER
COMING BACK?
SIR, I SHOULD NEVER
HAVE COMPLAINED
ABOUT ALL THE WORK.
YOU BEING GONE
HAS HELPED ME REALIZE
JUST HOW MUCH
I VALUE YOU,
NOT JUST AS A TEACHER,
BUT AS A SNAPPY DRESSER.
BY THE WAY,
NICE SWIM CAP.
THOSE BACK IN STYLE?
SAVE IT, KUZCO.
NOW THAT YOU'VE LEARNED
TO STOP COMPLAINING,
I'LL COME BACK.
IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE,
CLASS.
BUT BEFORE I BEGIN
TODAY'S LESSON,
I THINK YOU ALL MIGHT
WANT TO SAY GOODBYE
TO MR. NOTAEMPA.
HEY, YOU TWO
KNOW EACH OTHER?
KNOW EACH OTHER?
WE'RE COUSINS.
WHEN I NEED SOMEONE
TO SCARE YOU ALL
BACK IN LINE,
HE'S THE FIRST ONE
I CALL.
WORKS EVERY YEAR.
SEE YOU AT
THE FAMILY WRESTLE-OFF.
WOULDN'T MISS IT.
VERY CLEVER, MR. M.
ALMOST AS CLEVER
AS SOMETHING I'D DO.
THANK YOU, KUZCO.
AND NOW YOU'VE LEARNED
YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY
FROM WORK.
OUR NEXT LESSON IS
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE
THAN WORK!
BEST FIELD TRIP EVER.
BUT WE'RE NOT LEARNING
ANYTHING.
SURE WE ARE.
WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT
TROPICAL CULTURE,
SOLAR RADIATION,
THE THE PHYSICS OF--
CANNONBALL!
WATER DISPLACEMENT.
IT'S TIME FOR
HOW TO SPEAK ALIEN.
LESSON 1--
DO YOU HAVE ANY
END CREDITS I MAY BORROW?
[PLAYS CIRCUS TUNE]
LESSON 2--
I'M SORRY, BUT WE'RE
ALL OUT OF END CREDITS.
[PLAYS TUNELESS NOTES]
LESSON 3--
HEY, ISN'T THAT
SOME END CREDITS
RIGHT THERE?
[PLAYS MORE NOTES]
LESSON 4--
NO, THESE END CREDITS
ARE ALREADY DONE.
COME BACK TOMORROW.
[PLAYS THREE NOTES]