The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 1, Episode 18 - The Bride of Kuzco - full transcript

Just now Malina has consented to go on a date with Kuzko, he gets even better news: there is one way to gain the throne instantly, freeing him from the burdens of schoolboy-life and ...

HI THERE. THOUGHT
YOU MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW

THAT I MOVE BACK
INTO THE PALACE
TODAY. MM-HM.

OOPS. WAY AHEAD
OF MYSELF. FORGET
I SAID ANYTHING.

THEME MUSIC!

[♪]

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪

♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪

♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO ACE
THAT TEST ♪

♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE ♪

♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY ♪



YOU KNOW, IT'S
ALL ABOUT ME.
♪ AHH ♪

EXACTLY!

LET'S GO!

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ HE'S GOT TO LEARN ♪

♪ HIS ABCs ♪

♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM ♪

♪ TO TOP HIM ♪
TO DESTROY HIM,

RIGHT?
UHH...

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO, GO!

♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL ♪

♪ HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪



♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪

♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOK ♪

♪ LET'S GO ♪

♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪

♪ COME ON,
KUZCO ♪

♪ GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪

♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪

♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪

FRIENDS? I THOUGHT
THIS WAS ALL ABOUT ME.

HEH HEH!
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN!

K-U-Z-C-O!

KUZCO! KUZCO! GO, GO!

HOPE THIS LOOKS
AS BAD TO YOU
AS IT DID TO ME.

EMPRESS YZMA.
AND IT GOT WORSE.

LOOK AT ME. PRETTY
PATHETIC, HUH?

THROW HIM INTO
OUR STINKIEST
DUNGEON.

AND IF WE DON'T
HAVE A STINKY ONE,
THEN STINK ONE UP.

AND THEN THROW
HIM IN IT.

THAT'S ALL.
TAKE HIM AWAY!

[YZMA'S EVIL
LAUGHTER]

Kuzco: HOW COULD
THIS HAPPEN,
YOU ASK?

WELL, IT ALL
STARTED WAY,
WAY BACK.

"BABY" YZMA? UGH!

SHE WAS ALREADY
UGLY BEYOND
ALL REASON.

HA HA HA HA HA!

WELL, THIS IS
TOO FAR WAY,
WAY BACK.

CUT TO "BABY ME."

THAT'S ME!
CUTE ME.

THAT'S THE DAY
I LEARNED TO BURP.

[LOUD BURP]

THAT WAS ALSO
THE DAY THE ROYAL
MATCHMAKER, IMATCHO,

WAS SENT OFF
TO FIND ME A LADY,

A.K.A.,
BRIDE.

NOW, DON'T FORGET
ABOUT IMATCHO.

BIG PART OF THE STORY,
WHICH ALL STARTED WITH

MALENA WEARING HER
HOTTIE, HOT, HOTTIE
SCHOOL SPIRIT SWEATER.

Teacher: KUZCO!

DID YOU READ YOUR
KUZCOLOGY HOMEWORK?

ME-COLOGY?
I LIVE IT, PAL.

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

WHAT ARE THE CHIEF
EXPORTS OF THE
KUZCONIAN EMPIRE?

UH-- HM...

UM...

MY CHIEF EXPORT
IS EAR WAX.

I COULD OPEN UP
LIKE A CANDLE FACTORY
WITH THIS STUFF.

[SIGHS]

OUR CHIEF EXPORTS

ARE MANY VARIETIES OF
POTATOES, CORN, RICE, WHEAT,
WOOL, TEXTILES, POTTERY--

OH, MR. M.,
EXPORTS IS...
BOREDOM.

WHAT'S REALLY
IMPORTANT IS...

MALENA LOOKS
HOTTIE-LICIOUS.

AND I AM GONNA
ASK HER OUT.

IT'S TIME FOR
KUZCO'S DOODLES!

AND THAT'S THE PART
OF THE SHOW WHERE

I FINALLY GET
MALENA TO AGREE
TO A DATE DATE.

FIRST, I WAITED
FOR MALENA
OUTSIDE CLASS.

WHOA,
WHOA, WAIT.

I LOOK COOLER
THAN THAT.

[CHUCKLES]
AWESOME!

OK. SO THEN,
MALENA CAME OUT

AND I'M ALL,
"HOLA, MALENA."

AND SHE WAS ALL,
"NO! WHO EVEN
ASKED ANYTHING?"

SO THEN I FOUND
HER AT LUNCH.

WHAT? EVEN HER
LUNCH BOX IS HOT.

AND I'M ALL,
"WILL YOU GO
OUT WITH ME?"

AND SHE WAS
ALL, "NO!"

SO THEN I FOUND HER
IN THE LOCKER ROOM.

OK, OK.
THAT'S ENOUGH.

IF ONLY TO STOP
THESE DOODLES BEFORE
THEY GO ANY FURTHER.

OK. I'LL GO
OUT WITH YOU.

ON AN ACTUAL
DATE DATE?

YES, FINE. YES.

BUT ONLY IF
YOU PROMISE

IT'S NOT GOING
TO BE ALL
ABOUT YOU.

BUT EVERYTHING
IS ABOUT ME.
KUZCO!

OK, OK. THIS TIME,
NOT ABOUT ME.

HOW'S ABOUT A
PICNIC, FRIDAY
NIGHT, AT 8,

AT THE
STATUE OF ME.

YOU SENT
FOR ME, YZMA?

I MEAN,
PRINCIPAL MZ?

KUZCO, MY BOY.

I, UH, HAVE
A FRIEND WHO
NEEDS A BIG FAVOR.

YOU HAVE
A FRIEND?
HEH.

FUNNY.

YOU SEE,
MY FRIEND'S MOTHER
IS COMING TO VISIT.

AND, UM-- AHEM.

MY FRIEND KINDA
TOLD HER MOM
THAT SHE-- HEH.

YOU KINDA TOOK
OVER THE KINGDOM.

OH, I GET IT.

YOU WANT ME TO
TOSS YOUR FRIEND
IN THE DUNGEON.

NO, NO.
TOSS YOUR
FRIEND'S...

MOM IN
THE DUNGEON.
NO.

TOSS...YOU IN
THE DUNGEON?

NO!

I-- I WANT YOU
TO LET MY FRIEND
ACT LIKE EMPRESS...

WHILE HER
MOTHER'S IN
TOWN, I MEAN, UH--

THAT'S WHAT MY
FRIEND WANTS.

SO YOU,
SHE...

WANTS ME TO
LET YOU-- UH, HER

PRETEND
YOU'RE-- SHE'S
THE EMPEROR, YEAH?

YES!

RIGHT. I--
SHE, UH, WE DO.

HMMM--

NO.
BYE-BYE.

GRRRR.

OH, SOME DAY,
KUZCO, YOU'LL NEED
A FAVOR FROM ME!

AND WHEN
THAT DAY COMES...

Kuzco:
OH BOY, OH BOY.

I FINALLY
GOT A DATE DATE
WITH MALENA MALENA.

WHAT TO WEAR,
WHAT TO WEAR?

TOO FORMAL,
TOO CASUAL,

TOO REVEALING,
TOO DISCO,

TOO FEATHERY--

ALL RIGHT,
WHAT'S WITH
THE MONKEY SUIT?

[KNOCK,
KNOCK]

KUZCO!

LOOK AT YOU! SO MUCH
BIGGER THAN WHEN YOU
WERE ONE DAY OLD.

GUESS WHAT
I FOUND?

A BRIDE!

I DIDN'T KNOW
ONE WAS MISSING.

YOUR HIGHNESS,
IF I MAY.

THIS IS IMATCHO,

WHO WAS SENT OUT AT
YOUR BIRTH TO FIND YOU
A SUITABLE EMPRESS.

AN "EMPRESS"?

YOUR EMPRESS!

YOU KNOW,
I'M NOT REALLY WILD
ABOUT FIX-UPS, SO--

BUT SIRE,
PLANS MUST
BEGIN IMMEDIATELY

FOR THE ROYAL WEDDING
TO OCCUR TOMORROW
NIGHT AT 8:00.

UH, SORRY,
I'VE GOT A DATE.

KUZCO, PLEASE!
I'VE DEVOTED MY LIFE
TO THIS QUEST.

AT LEAST MEET HER.

ALL RIGHTY.

I SUPPOSE I COULD TAKE
ONE LITTLE LOOKY LOOKY.
[DOOR OPENS]

Imatcho:
MAY I PRESENT...

THE PERFECT
PRINCESS LALALA!

SHE'S ALL
YOURS NOW.

THE PERFECT WOMAN,
JUST FOR YOU.

WISH I
HAD ONE.

[SOBBING]
ENJOY!

WHAT DO YOU
THINK, SIRE?

HOTTIER, HOT,
HOTTIEST!

STILL, I HAVE
THIS DATE. UH--

MAY I POINT OUT,
UPON MARRYING
THE PRINCESS..

YOU WILL BE
IMMEDIATELY DECLARED
EMPEROR AND EMPRESS.

UH, YOU SEE, IT WAS
ACTUALLY A DATE DATE

AND I WAS REALLY
LOOKING FORWARD--

DID YOU JUST
SAY "EMPEROR"?

OH, YES, INDEEDY.

SO NO MORE
SCHOOL?

NO MORE LIVING
AT PACHA'S HOUSE?

NO MORE SHARING
A ROOM WITH
CHACA OR TIPO?

JUST, "I DO,"
THEN INSTA-EMPEROR?

PRECISELY!
LOOK
AT ME!

I'M GETTING
MARRIED!

Kuzco: WHOO HOO!
PALACE, SWEET PALACE.

AW, THRONEY!

DID YOU MISS ME?

LOOK AT YOU,
STILL SHINY
AND COZY!

HEADREST, FOOTREST,
CUP-HOLDER.

HM. THIS NICE
LITTLE CUSHION, SO
I DON'T LOOK SHORT.

I'M COMING BACK
SOON, THRONEY.

GOTTA GO PACK!

DON'T NEED THIS,
DON'T NEED THIS,
DON'T NEED THIS,

DON'T NEED THIS--

NEED THIS.

GOING OUT?

YEAH, TO MY
ARRANGED WEDDING.

THEN MOVING BACK
INTO THE PALACE.

WHAT ABOUT
MALENA?

I THOUGHT
YOU FINALLY HAD
A DATE WITH HER.

UH-- IT'S AN
EMPEROR THING.

YOU WOULDN'T
UNDERSTAND.

IF IT MEANS
TURNING YOUR BACK
ON YOUR FRIENDS,

I DON'T WANNA
UNDERSTAND.

I'M NOT TURNING
MY BACK ON ANYONE!

I'M NOT DOING THIS
JUST FOR ME, YOU KNOW?

ONCE I'M BACK ON
THE THRONE, IT'S
PARTY TIME FOR EVERYBODY.

YOU, ME, THE WHOLE
KINGDOM. EVEN PACHA.

DOES PACHA PARTY?

WELL, HE WILL!

BUT I THINK
MALENA ACTUALLY
KINDA LIKES YOU.

NAH. IT WAS
A PITY DATE.

SHE'S PROBABLY
FORGOTTEN ABOUT
IT ALREADY.

HEY, MOM!
WHAT'S THE RECIPE
FOR KUZCAKE?

SO YOU'RE
JUST GONNA
STAND HER UP?

STAND HER UP?

NO WAY!
THAT'S HEARTLESS.

I'M MERELY NOT GOING
OUT WITH HER

AND MARRYING
SOMEBODY ELSE.

YOU SHOULD
AT LEAST
LET HER KNOW.

MM-HM.
YEAH, YEAH.

BUH-BYE.

IS THAT KUZCAKE?

MM-HM. FOR OUR
PICNIC TOMORROW.

YEAH, ABOUT THE
DATE DATE THING.

I'M NOT GOING.
BUT WE CAN HAVE
THAT KUZCAKE NOW.

WHAT? I FINALLY AGREE
TO GO OUT WITH YOU AND
YOU'RE BLOWING ME OFF?

YUP. TINY CONFLICT.

GETTIN' MARRIED
TOMORROW!

MARRIED?
WHO WOULD
MARRY YOU?

I MEAN, WHO ARE
YOU MARRYING?

SOME PRINCESS.

BUT GET THIS.

THEN I GET TO BE...
♪ EMPEROR AGAIN ♪

ISN'T THAT
GREAT? I KNEW
YOU WOULDN'T MIND.

P.A.: PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE
YOUR LAMAS UNATTENDED
AT ANY TIME. THANK YOU.

THE WHITE ZONE
IS FOR LOADING AND
UNLOADING LAMAS ONLY.

SO, HOW WAS
YOUR TRIP?

[CHOKING]

WELL NEXT TIME ASK
FOR AN AISLE SEAT.

[GASPING]

THAT'S IT,
MOMMY!

YOU'LL GET TO
THE PALACE. PLENTY
OF TIME FOR THAT.

[CHOKING]

OF COURSE
I'M EMPRESS!
LISTEN.

KRONK HERE WILL
TAKE YOU ON A
LITTLE TOUR,

STARTING FROM THE
REMOTE NORTHERN
BORDER.

[THUNDERING]

DID YOU BRING
YOUR LONG UNDERWEAR?

[WHEEZING]

KEEP MOM BUSY.

IT'LL BUY ME
SOME TIME TO MAKE
A DEAL WITH KUZCO.

WILL DO.

WHAT DO YOU
MEAN BY..."BUSY"?

WHAT WE TALKED
ABOUT, KRONK.

SHOW HER AROUND.

GOTCHA, WE'LL START
AT THE PALACE.

NO!

PALACE, LAST.

FAR AWAY
MOUNTAINS,
FIRST.

[THUNDERING]

RIGHT.

HEY THRONEY,
I'M BACK. MPHH!

THRONEY?

YOU MOVED.

[BELL]

OH...

HELLO,
HOTTIEST ONE.

I CHANGED THINGS
AROUND A LITTLE.

SEE, THE THRONE
HAD TO GO OVER HERE

BECAUSE
OVER THERE IS
NOW A COFFEE TABLE,

AND THE NEW SOFA
IS OVER THERE.

LIKE IT?

UH...IF YOU DO.

AS LONG AS I'M STILL
FACING THE MIRROR.

THIS THRONE'S
TOO BUSY.

[MALENA COMPLAINING,
INDISTINCT]

THRONEY!
YOU'RE NAKED!

AND EMPERORS
DON'T NAME
THEIR FURNITURE.

WE HAVE JUST
A FEW HOURS
UNTIL THE WEDDING

AND SO MUCH TO DO.

YEAH, YOU KNOW--

WHY DON'T YOU
TACKLE ALL THAT,

I DON'T
WANT TO, UH...

MISS MY LAST
DAY AT SCHOOL.

WOW, DIDN'T KNOW
WE HAD THAT.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE EMPEROR,
I'M GONNA BE YOUR EMPRESS!

WE HAVE THE WEDDING
PREPARATIONS TO MAKE.

YOU KNOW,
I'LL BE GLAD WHEN
I'M EMPEROR AGAIN

WITH NOTHING
TO DO.

NO, THEN THE
LESSONS BEGIN.

ETIQUETTE LESSONS,
ELOCUTION LESSONS,

POSTURE LESSONS,
CHIVALRY LESSONS,
CHESS LESSONS,

MINUET LESSONS,
INVASION LESSONS.

OUCH,
SCHOOL AGAIN.

BUT WORSE.

WHOO!
FREE AT LAST.

IT'S LIKE BEING
UNDER HOUSE ARREST,
BUT IN A PALACE.

AHH!

MALENA!

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

THE WHOLE KINGDOM
RECEIVED THESE
WEDDING INVITATIONS.

HERE, I DON'T
WANT TO ATTEND.

YEAH, YOU
AND ME BOTH.

THAT PESTERING PRINCESS
IS TRYING TO
DE-KUZCO-TATE ME,

IT'S A REAL NIGHTMARE
I DON'T EVEN
WANNA BE THERE,

LOUSY ROYAL
MATCHMAKER.

[FRUMPS]
WHY COULDN'T
HE PICK YOU?

YOU LIKE
CUP HOLDERS.

IF YOU DON'T EVEN
LIKE THIS GIRL, WHY
GO THROUGH WITH IT?

WELL, DUH! TO BE
FULL EMPEROR AGAIN.

HOW VERY
SHORT-SIGHTED
OF YOU.

THANKS.

WAIT -
KUZCO,

YOU GOTTA
SERIOUSLY
THINK ABOUT

WHAT YOU'RE
GIVING UP AND
WHAT YOU'RE GAINING.

IS IT WORTH IT?

SERIOUSLY
THINK. HMM.

CAN'T I JUST,
YOU KNOW, BE SNEAKY?

'CUZ I HAVE
A REALLY GOOD
SOURCE FOR SNEAKY.

HA HA HA HA HA!

SO, YOU NEED
A FAVOR FROM ME?

YEAH, YEAH,
DONE GLOATING?

NO.

HA!
OKAY.

SO, CAN WE
MAKE A DEAL?

OF COURSE
WE CAN!

BEFORE
YOUR WEDDING
TAKES PLACE,

I WILL TURN THE
PRINCESS INTO...

A PARROT!
Kuzco:
NO GOOD.

PARROT CAN
STILL TALK.

FINE, HOW ABOUT
A CANARY?

CAN STILL
SING.
A COYOTE!

IS THAT
LIKE A CAT?

NOT SO FOND
OF CATS.
ANT EATER

TOO NOSEY
WOOLEY
MONKEY?

WOOL.
ITCHY. NO.
A BROWN BROKET?

HMM-- I DON'T
KNOW, BUT...NO.

A SPINEY
TREE RAT?

YOU'RE
JOKING.
CHINCHILLA?

GET REAL.
KINKACHU?

AS IF!
HOW ABOUT
A FROG?

CROAKLESS,
SINGLESS AND
MATELESS.

HMM, YEAH,
THAT COULD WORK.

A WARTEY,
YUCKY FROG.

AND IN RETURN,
I WILL BECOME
EMPRESS FOR-

A MINUTE.

I WAS GOING TO
SAY, "EVER."

DEAL'S OFF.

OK, OK, EMPRESS
FOR A DAY.

BUT AS SOON AS THAT
DAY IS OVER, I'M LARGE
AND IN CHARGE AGAIN.

PERFECT!
I'LL TURN HER
INTO A FROG.

I'LL BE EMPRESS
FOR A DAY...

AND MY MOTHER
WILL REMAIN
NONE THE WISER.

BRILLIANT,
BRILLIANT,
BRILLIANT!

[CHUCKLING]
I MEAN, UM, MY
FRIEND'S MOTHER.

I THINK
WE CAN DROP THE
"FRIEND" THING NOW.

AH. GOOD.

[ORGAN MUSIC]

[FOOTSTEPS]

UH-- GLAD TO SEE YOU
COULD, UH, MAKE IT.

IT WAS EITHER COME
HERE OR HAVE MY HUT
BURNED TO THE GROUND,

I ALMOST
PICKED THAT.

THIS MIGHT
TURN OUT BETTER
THAN YOU THINK.

UM, AREN'T YOU GOING
TO INSTANTLY KNOW
WHAT MY PLAN IS

AND TELL ME IT'S
WRONG, LIKE YOU
USUALLY DO?

NO, I HAVEN'T
BEEN TOLD ENOUGH TO
POSSIBLY FIGURE IT OUT.

WELL YOU KNEW
I WANTED TO GET
OUT OF THE WEDDING.

YES.
AND...

YOU KNOW
MY INTENTION
WAS TO FIND

A SNEAKY
WAY TO DO IT.
UH-HUH.

AND YOU
KNOW THAT OF
ALL THE PEOPLE

IN THE KINGDOM,
THE SNEAKIEST
IS YZMA?

UH, SO WHAT
DID YOU DO, MAKE
A DEAL WITH YZMA

TO TURN THE PRINCESS
INTO A FROG?

YES! WAS
THAT SO HARD?

WHY COULDN'T YOU
DO THAT LIKE,
A MINUTE AGO?

OH, GETTING DUMPED
MUST HAVE DONE
SOMETHING TO MY BRAIN.

OH, GOOD.

GLAD TO SEE YOU'RE
NOT STILL HURT OR
INSULTED ABOUT THAT.

KUZCO, YOU EITHER
WANNA MARRY THIS
PRINCESS OR NOT.

A FROG POTION
SHOULDN'T BE
AN OPTION.

SEE? THIS IS WHY
I SHOULD'VE KEPT
OUR DATE DATE.

YOU'RE SO SMART!

PLUS, YOU DON'T
REARRANGE THRONES.

UH, YOU'RE MOM'S
LOSING PATIENCE,
SHE KEEPS SAYING--

[WHEEZES]

WATCH YOUR
LANGUAGE!

WHERE IS
SHE NOW?

ON THE
TRAM TOUR,
I...

TOLD THEM TO TAKE
THE UNDERGROUND
ROUTE.

THERE IS NO
UNDERGROUND ROUTE.

YEAH, COULD
TAKE A WHILE.

UGH!

RIBBIT.

WOAH!

NEEDS SOME FLAVOR.

LITTLE BITE,
LITTLE PEAK.

I KNOW, GRENADINE.

ALL SET?

NOW GO SERVE THEM
THEIR DRINKS

AND DON'T
MESS IT UP.

[ORGAN MUSIC]

ON THE LEFT,

ALWAYS SERVE
TO THE LEFT.

UH, MY LEFT,
OR YOUR LEFT? WAHH!

CAREFUL,
KRONK.

THIS IS A VERY
SPECIAL, FESTIVE
WEDDING PUNCH.

YOU CAN'T
SPILL A DROP.

RIGHT.

OH...RIGHT!

FESTIVE "RIBBIT"
WEDDING PUNCH.

MMM, LOOKS
DEE-LISH.

[CHURCH BELL]
OH!

EIGHT O'CLOCK,
TIME TO GET
MARRIED.

HEAVENS!

NOT WITHOUT TOASTING
YOUR NUPTIALS.

YOU BET!

[CLINKS GLASS]
KUZCO, A TOAST
TO YOUR NEW BRIDE,

WHO HAS
EVERYTHING, EXCEPT
GOOD TASTE IN MEN.

[CRUNCH]
OW!

DON'T
RIBBIT,

DRINK IT,
RIBBIT.

"RIBBIT."
RIGHT!

RIGHT?
LEFT.

LEFT?
RIGHT.

RIGHT?
LEFT!

RIGHT...

OH, LET'S JUST
GET THIS OVER WITH.

[GULPING]

OK, NOW WE WED.

[ORGAN PLAYING]

DON'T YOU
FEEL...STRANGE?

YOU KNOW,
FROG IN YOUR
THROAT

OR...ANYWHERE
ELSE?

NEVER FELT
BETTER IN MY--
[RIBBIT]

[CROWD GASPS]

[RIBBIT]

DON'T WANNA "JUMP"
TO CONCLUSIONS BUT--

SHE'S A FROG.
HOO HOO!

[DISTANT COUGH]

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
I GOT MORE.

OK, I BET SHE IS
"HOPPING" MAD.

MUST BE "LEAP" YEAR.

GUESS WHO "CROAKED"?

I HATE BEING "TOAD"
WHAT TO DO.

SORRY ABOUT
ALL THOSE.

I HAD A LOT
OF FROG JOKES
AND, HONESTLY,

WHEN DO YOU EVER
GET A CHANCE TO
USE A FROG JOKE?

OK, BACK TO
THE SHOW.

SHE'S
A FROG!

[LISPING]
STOP THE CEREMONY!

THE WEDDING IS OFF!

AND NOW WELCOME
EMPRESS YZMA!

NOW, KRONK,
BRING IN MY MA'!

[WHEELCHAIR
SCREECHING]

WELCOME, MOTHER,
TO MY PALACE, HA.

SO, STILL THINK
I'M NOTHING BUT A
PRUNE-FACED WANNA BE?

[WHEEZING
AND COUGHING]

WHAT IS YOUR
FIRST COMMAND,
OH EMPRESS YZMA?

[RIBBIT]

[SIGHING]
EMPRESS YZMA.

SO, WHAT TO DO?

WHAT FIRST?
OH YES.

NOW THAT I AM EMPRESS,
I CAN DO THIS.

GUARDS, DRAG IN KUZCO!

HEY, YOU'RE EMPRESS
FOR A DAY.

YOU GET TO
SIT ON MY THRONE,
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

HOW ABOUT EMPRESS FOR,
LETS SEE, A LIFETIME?

UH, THAT'S
NOT THE DEAL
WE SPOKE ABOUT.

YOU DIDN'T LISTEN
TO THE SMALL PRINT.

IT WENT LIKE THIS.

"OFFER NOT VALID
AT NEAR, BEFORE,
OR AFTER MIDNIGHT,

OR ON DAYS
ENDING IN 'Y.' OTHER
RESTRICTIONS APPLY."

OK, YOU KNOW
ALL THIS.

YZMA IS EMPRESS
AND I'M SENT FOREVER TO
THE STINKIEST STINK DUNGEON.

THINGS LOOK BAD
FOR THE OLD KUZ-KUZ.

BOO-HOO FOR ME!

WAIT, LET'S
NOT PANIC.

WITH NO ME,
THERE'D BE NO
ME SHOW, RIGHT?

NO ME, NO SHOW.
BUT THERE'S
GOTTA BE A SHOW.

I MEAN, IF THERE'S
NO SHOW, THEN WHAT
ARE YOU WATCHING?

LET'S SEE
WHAT HAPPENS.

WOAH, WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE?
HEY.

AREN'T YOU
SUPPOSED TO
BE A FROG?

IMPOSSIBLE!

THAT FROG POTION WAS
EXTRA-STRENGTH AND
SUPER-PERMANENT.

NOW WITH ADDED
FROGGY-NESS.

YEAH, BUT
ALSO BLAND...

'TILL I ADDED
THAT GRENADINE.

OH!

KRONK!

SHOULD'VE TRIED
LIME JUICE.

UGHH! FIRST
I'M HAULED THROUGH
THE MOUNTAINS,

"YOU'RE GONNA
MARRY AN EMPEROR!"

THEN I GET ENGAGED
TO A LOSER, TURNED
INTO A FROG,

THEN NOT A FROG!

I'M NOT HAPPY!

YOU! YOU'RE
OBVIOUSLY
IN CHARGE NOW.

FIX THIS,
YOU HEAR ME?

MAKE ME HAPPY!

THAT STINKIEST
DUNGEON STILL
GOT ROOM?

SHE'S NOT
A FROG ANYMORE.
TRADE'S OFF.

WHICH MEANS...
YOU'RE NOT EMPRESS.

GET OFF THE THRONEY.

AHHHHH!

YEAH, WELL, SOMEBODY
ORDERED A GIANT PIE.

Yzma:
AAAAAAH!
[SPLAT]

[WHEELCHAIR
SCREECHING]

YZMA!

ARE YOU OK?

OH! MY PIE'S
HERE.

JUST GET ME
OUT OF HERE!

AW, THRONEY,

DID SHE HURT
YOU WITH HER RAZOR
SHARP THIGH BONES?

Joker: GOOD NEWS,
SIRE! [CHUCKLES]

WITH LALALA BACK TO
HUMAN, THE WEDDING
CAN CONTINUE.

WELL, UH--

WHAT IS
IT, SIRE?

Kuzco:
YES, NO, MAYBE.
DON'T KNOW.

CAN'T DECIDE.
MUST DECIDE.

YES, NO.

I DECIDE...
NO.

NO?

YES. NO.

HOW COULD
YOU POSSIBLY
TURN ME DOWN?

I'M THE
PERFECT WOMAN!

WELL, YOU MIGHT
BE PERFECT FOR
SOMEONE,

JUST NOT ME.

UM-- YOU'RE
MY PERFECT WOMAN.

[SOBBING]
I-- I AM?

HMM--

I HAVE ALWAYS
BEEN ATTRACTED
TO THE...

PLUMP AND
FUZZY TYPE.

THEN THERE WILL
BE A WEDDING!

YES!

WELL, THAT WAS ONLY
REMOTELY BELIEVABLE.

OH, WELL. DID YOU
HEAR THAT, THRONEY?

I'M ALL YOURS.

MY APOLOGIES,
SIRE.

ONCE AGAIN, YOU
ARE ON THE WAITING
LIST FOR EMPEROR.

BACK TO SCHOOL.

UH, I'LL BE BACK, THRONEY!

WAIT FOR ME?

I'M SORRY
ABOUT YESTERDAY.

I GUESS THE WORD
"EMPEROR" GOT ME CRAZY.

THERE ARE THINGS THAT
ARE MORE IMPORTANT
THAN POWER AND POSITION.

LIKE YOUR FRIENDS
AND THE PEOPLE WHO
CARE ABOUT YOU?

I WAS THINKING
FORTUNE AND FAME,

BUT OK, THOSE
COUNT TOO.

I'M PROUD OF YOU.

I KNOW YOU WANT
TO BE OUT OF SCHOOL
AS FAST AS POSSIBLE

BUT I THINK YOU MADE
THE RIGHT DECISION.

SO, IS THE DATE DATE
ON AGAIN?

OOHHH, NO.

YOU CLEARLY
CANCELLED
THE DATE DATE.

"I'M NOT GOING,
TINY CONFLICT,
GETTING MARRIED."

I GET IT, I GET IT,
DON'T RUB IT IN.

NO DATE DATE.

BUT, WE CAN HAVE
A PICNIC PICNIC.

[ROMANTIC MUSIC]

USE YOUR
NAPKIN!

DON'T EAT WITH
YOUR FINGERS.

NO DESSERT
UNTIL YOU EAT
WHAT I MADE.

DON'T INTERRUPT
WHEN I'M
TALKING!

[NEIGHING]

Lalala: WHERE ARE YOU
RUNNING OFF TO?

HOW DARE YOU TURN
YOUR BACK ON ME WHEN
I'M TALKING TO YOU?

YOU CALL THAT A TAIL?
WHY, IT'S ALL MESSY.

YOU HAVE TO BRUSH
THAT THING AT LEAST
A HUNDRED TIMES.

[FRUSTRATED] OOOH--
ARE YOU EVEN
LISTENING TO ME?

Kuzco: WELCOME TO THE
REMOTE NORTHERN BORDER
OF THE KUZCO KINGDOM.

A.K.A, "HONEYMOON
O-RAMA-LAMA."

THERE'S A
MILLION THINGS
TO DO HERE, LIKE

FROLIC FOR
HOURS IN OUR
ROMANTIC WATERFALL,

OR CUDDLE WITH
YOUR CUTIE IN

THE GLOW OF OUR NIGHTLY
ROMANTIC FIREWORKS.

OR TRY OUT THE ROMANTIC
WATERFALL AGAIN.
[POURING RAIN]

MORE FIREWORKS!

WOW, THIS PLACE
IS AWFUL.

NO WONDER WE KEEP IT
WAY UP AT THE REMOTE
NORTHERN BORDER.

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