The Emperor's New School (2006–2008): Season 1, Episode 1 - Rabbit Face - full transcript
Prince Kuzco is heir to the imperial throne, but only if he finishes Kuzco Academy, the capital's regular high-school. Coach Sweetie demands that he participates in a race and wins it otherwise he will be expelled. The race is against no other than Kronk, a gentle giant who, alas, serves Yzma, Kuzco's evil and boundlessly ambitious rival for the throne. Kuzco worries only about Malina, his classmate, and the cheers for Kronk, until he finds out that everybody thinks he will lose. Yzma intends to eliminate any risk by using an elixir to turn Kuzco into a turtle, but instead Kronk mixed one which transforms the prince into a bunny.
HI, THERE. JUST WANTED
TO WELCOME YOU TO MY SHOW
STARRING ME--KUZCO.
SO, NO CHANGING
THE CHANNEL. UNDERSTAND?
NO CHANGING.
OK. THEME MUSIC.
♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪
♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪
♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪
♪ HE'S GOT
TO ACE THAT TEST ♪
♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE, ♪
♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY... ♪
YOU KNOW,
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.
EXACTLY!
EXACTLY!
♪ LET'S GO ♪
♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ HE'S GOT
TO LEARN HIS ABCs ♪
♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM,
TO TOP HIM ♪
♪ TO DESTROY HIM,
RIGHT? ♪
UH...
Cheerleaders:
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO! GO!
♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL,
HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪
♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪
♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOKS ♪
♪ LET'S GO ♪
♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ COME ON, KUZCO ♪
♪ HE'S GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪
♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪
♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪
FRIENDS?
I THOUGHT THIS
WAS ALL ABOUT ME.
HEH HEH.
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN.
Cheerleaders:
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO!
Kuzco: THIS IS
KUZCO ACADEMY.
AND YOU'LL NEVER
BELIEVE THIS,
BUT THAT SAD RABBIT
YOU'RE LOOKING AT
WAS ONCE A STUDENT HERE,
AND NOT JUST ANY STUDENT.
EITHER. UH-UH.
THAT STUDENT WAS AN EMPEROR.
MY NAME IS KUZCO,
AND I AM THAT SAD RABBIT.
HEY, I WAS JUST TRYING
TO GET THROUGH SCHOOL
SO I CAN STAY EMPEROR,
BUT SOMEONE'S OUT
TO MAKE SURE I FAIL
AND HER NAME IS
YZMA THE WRINKLED UGLY ONE.
HUH HUH. ALL RIGHT,
I ADDED THE WRINKLED
UGLY ONE PART.
ONCE KUZCO FAILS SCHOOL,
I'LL BECOME EMPRESS.
AH HA HA HA HA.
[COUGHS]
Kuzco: AND SHE'S
GOT A LITTLE HELP.
ACTUALLY, A BIG HELP.
KRONK.
NOW, ONCE KUZCO
FAILS SCHOOL, I WILL
BECOME...UH, WAIT.
WHAT WILL I BECOME?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
BACK TO ME.
SO, HOW DID I GET
TURNED INTO A RABBIT,
AND WHY IS
MY LIFE RUINED?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
THIS WILL ALL MAKE
SENSE IF YOU JUST
GO BACK TO A LITTLE
EARLIER TODAY.
EH, NO!
NOT THAT MUCH EARLIER.
MORE LIKE
AROUND P.E. CLASS.
[TWIRR]
ALL RIGHT! LISTEN UP!
FRIDAY AT THE END
OF SIXTH PERIOD,
WE'RE HAVING
A CROSS-COUNTRY RACE.
THE RACE BEGINS HERE
AND FINISHES JUST
BEYOND THE ROPE BRIDGE.
DOCTOR'S NOTE.
AGAIN?
UH, YEAH. SO I'LL SEE
Y'ALL IN YOUR LITTLE
RACE THINGY LATER.
SO LONG.
HASTA LA BYE-BYE.
SEND ME AN EMAIL.
NOT TODAY, KUZCO.
LOOK, UH,
COACH SWEATY?
IT'S SWEETIE!
OK.
YOUR DOCTOR ALREADY
GOT YOU OUTTA BASKETBALL.
BAD ANKLES.
VOLLEYBALL.
HAMSTRING.
SOCCER.
HEAD TRAUMA.
DODGEBALL.
RUPTURED SPLEEN.
BASEBALL.
ELBOW-ITIS.
BADMINTON.
SILLY-ITIS.
AND TIDDLYWINKS.
THUMB JOINT-ITIS.
I GOTTA PROTECT
THE ROYAL THUMBS.
I'M BEGINNING TO THINK
THIS DOCTOR K-UZCO OF YOURS
IS SOMETHING YOU MADE UP.
WHAT?
SO, NOT ONLY ARE YOU
GOING TO RUN THE RACE,
YOU'RE GONNA WIN.
REALLY? I WIN?
YAY FOR ME!
WHOO-HOO.
DO DO DODO DO DO DO
DO DODO DO DO--
WHAT?
BECAUSE IF YOU
DON'T WIN...
YOU WILL FAIL THIS CLASS
AND NOT BECOME EMPEROR.
HUH?
YEAH, WHAT HE SAID.
BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO BEAT KRONK?
OH, MY SPECIAL SURPRISE.
[BLENDER BUZZES]
MADE YOU A MANGO
SMOOTHIE, COACH SWEETIE.
YOU FORGOT THE STRAW.
GOOD CALL.
[DOOR SLAMS]
HEY, GET THIS.
THE STRAW MAKES A FUNNY
SQUEAK-SQUEAK SOUND
WHEN YOU PULL IT
IN AND OUT.
[SQUEAKING]
I'M KRONK. I'M SO BIG
AND STRONG AND FAST.
LOOK AT ME,
I CAN MAKE SMOOTHIES.
HMM. I'LL SHOW HIM.
Malina:
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO! GO! GO!
HEY, HEY, THERE.
MALINA.
OH, HEY, KUZCO.
SAY, I HEARD FROM KUIKIE
THAT YOU AND KRONK...
[THINKING] WOW.
MALINA'S, LIKE, THE
GREATEST GIRL ON CAMPUS.
ACTUALLY, SHE'S NOT
LIKE THE GREATEST GIRL.
SHE IS THE GREATEST
GIRL, AND HERE'S WHY:
1. SHE'S PRESIDENT
OF EVERY CLUB,
2. SHE'S
AN A-PLUS STUDENT,
AND 3. SHE'S A TOTAL
HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE.
YEP. HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE.
HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE.
HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE.
KUZCO!
WHAT?
WERE YOU CALLING ME
A HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE
IN YOUR HEAD AGAIN?
UH, YEAH, BUT DIDN'T
YOU ALSO HEAR ME SAY,
"A-PLUS SOMETHING
OR ANOTHER?"
SURE. THANKS.
ANYWAY. SO, UH,
NICE MOVES.
MM-HMM. YOU JUST
KEEP ON CHEERIN'
FOR ME, BABE.
ACTUALLY, I WAS,
LIKE, CHEERING
THE NAME OF THE SCHOOL.
WHICH HAPPENS TO BE
MY NAME SINCE I,
EMPEROR KUZCO...
[FANFARE]
PAID FOR IT.
WELL, I HEAR YOU WON'T
BE EMPEROR ANYMORE
IF YOU DON'T BEAT KRONK.
AH, KRONK.
WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WHAT DO YOU GIRLS
SEE IN THAT GUY?
I MEAN, I'M JUST
AS HANDSOME AS HE IS.
IF I HAD HIS CHIN
AND HIS CHEST
AND HIS MUSCLES
AND HIS [DEEP VOICE]
DEEP VOICE.
HEY! YOU FORGOT
HIS CUTE DIMPLES.
OH, YEAH?
WELL, CHECK THIS OUT.
IS THAT YOUR FACE?
YEAH. SO? YOU WANNA COME
OVER AND HELP ME WITH MY
HOMEWORK FRIDAY NIGHT?
UH, WE'LL SEE.
K-U-Z-C-O.
KUZCO! KUZCO! GO! GO!
K-U-Z-C-O.
IT'S PERFECT.
PERFECT. PERFECT.
IF KUZCO LOSES THAT
RACE, I WILL BECOME
EMPRESS. HA HA HA HA HA.
EH HEH. HI, THERE.
SORRY TO INTERRUPT
JUST WANTED TO POINT
OUT HOW THE PRINCIPAL
AMZY HERE,
THAT'S HER, IS
REALLY THE EVIL YZMA
IN DISGUISE.
AMZY. YZMA.
LIKE NOBODY'S GONNA
FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.
DUH. HA HA. WAIT.
WATCH THIS.
LOOK AT ME. I'M AN UGLY,
OLD WRINKLED LADY
WITH A CURLY Q
MOUSTACHE.
HA HA. OK. SORRY.
BACK TO THE SHOW.
AH HA HA HA HA!
YOU, UH--YOU WANTED
TO SEE ME, PRINCIPAL AMZY?
COME IN. COME IN.
WELL, I HOPE EVERYTHING'S
OK WITH MY G.P.A.
I KNOW I BURNED
THE SPINACH PASTA
IN HOME EC.
QUIET, KRONK.
IT'S ME.
YZMA? WOW.
WELL, NOBODY'S GONNA
FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.
LISTEN UP. YOU AND I
ARE GONNA MAKE SURE
KUZCO LOSES THAT RACE.
HA HA HA HA HA.
[COUGHS]
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING?
UH, A SMOOTHIE?
I'M FINE.
I'M TELLIN' YA.
THERE'S NO WAY KUZCO'S
GONNA BEAT KRONK
IN THAT RACE TOMORROW.
YEAH. THE ONLY EXERCISE
HE GETS IS RUNNING
THE COUNTRY. HEH HEH.
I'VE NEVER EVEN
SEEN HIM LIFT A FINGER.
HA HA HA HA.
Both: [LAUGHING]
Kuzco: AH HA HO
HEE HO HO.
VERY FUNNY, GUYS. I'LL
HAVE BOTH OF YOU KNOW,
JUST LAST WEEK,
I BOUGHT A TREADMILL.
OH. YOU LIKE IT?
I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T
GET THE CARTON OPEN.
IT'S LIKE STAPLED
SHUT OR SOMETHING,
BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER,
'CAUSE I'M IN GREAT SHAPE,
AND I'M GONNA BEAT
THE PANTS OFF KRONKETY
KRONK KRONK. HA HA.
THANK YOU, BOYS.
I'LL BE WALKING
THE REST OF THE WAY HOME.
ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN
MAKE IT UP THE STAIRS?
HUH? THEY'RE JUST STAIRS.
NO BIG DEAL.
OOH, STAIRS!
THEY'RE SO STEEP.
HA HA. NO PROBLEM.
WHEW.
TAKING A BREAK?
IT'S CALLED
PACING YOURSELF.
WHEW. DID WE
JUST PUT THESE IN?
COME ON,
EVERYBODY. DINNER.
I CAN TOO
OUT-RUN YOU.
NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.
NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.
NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.
NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.
HEY, HEY. SLOW DOWN.
WE'RE PLAYING
KRONK VERSUS KUZCO.
SHE MADE ME
HAVE TO BE KUZCO.
AND WHAT'S
WRONG WITH THAT?
HE'S THE LOSER.
YEAH.
EVERYBODY
IN THE VILLAGE
SAYS THERE'S NO WAY
IN A BILLION,
GAZILLION YEARS
KUZCO CAN
OUT-RUN KRONK.
HEY, EVERYBODY.
GUESS IT'S TIME
TO CARVE UP FOR THE
BIG RACE TOMORROW.
UH, KUZCO,
ABOUT THAT RACE...
YEAH? WHAT ABOUT IT?
YOU JUST DO
THE BEST YOU CAN.
DON'T LISTEN
TO ANY RUMORS YOU HEAR
AROUND THE VILLAGE.
I DON'T WANT YOU
TO BE WORRIED.
HEY, HEY. IT'S OK.
I'M NOT WORRIED.
NO WORRIED.
ME WORRIED? UH-HUH.
IF I WERE WORRIED,
I'D BE ALL,
"I'M WORRIED. OOH,
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?"
BUT I'M NOT.
WORRIED, THAT IS.
NO, UH-HUH.
NOT WORRIED AT ALL.
WHAT'S THE WORD THAT
MEANS THE OPPOSITE
OF WORRIED? HMM.
WELL, WHATEVER THAT WORD
IS THAT'S HOW I FEEL,
BECAUSE ME
AND WORRIED, WE JUST
DO NOT GET ALONG.
HE'S LIKE, "HEY,
I'M MR. WORRIED.
HOW'S IT GOIN'?"
AND I'M LIKE, "WELL,
MOVE ALONG, PAL,
'CAUSE THIS HERE IS
NO WORRIED PARKING."
HA HA. YEAH.
ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE NOT WORRIED?
ME PLUS RACE EQUALS...
NO WORRIED.
Kronk: EVENING, KUZCO.
PACHA, CHICHA,
CHACA, TIPO,
AND WHERE'S LITTLE YUPI?
ASLEEP.
RIGHT. GOOD.
BABY'S ASLEEP.
THEY, UH--THEY DO THAT.
HA HA HA.
KRONK, IS THERE
A REASON YOU STOPPED BY?
HUH? OH, NO REASON.
I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
THOUGHT I'D SAY HI
ON MY NIGHTLY 20-MILE JOG.
YEAH. 20 MILES
EACH WAY EVERY NIGHT.
JOGGING. NOT EVEN TIRED.
STAY IN SHAPE.
CARDIOVASCULAR.
OK, THEN. WE'LL SEE YOU
AT THE RACE TOMORROW, KUZCO.
IS THAT POTATO STEW?
YES, IT IS.
SMELLS GREAT.
SEE YOU AT THE RACE.
WELL, DID YOU
INTIMIDATE HIM?
IS HE GOING TO
DROP OUT OF
THE RACE?
YEAH, I THINK THE LITTLE GUY
GOT THE IDEA.
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT
REALLY THAT HUNGRY.
[YAWN]
I THINK I'M GONNA
GO ON TO BED.
NIGHT-NIGHT.
[SOBBING]
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
I'M A LOSER!
LOSER FACE! [SOBS]
IT'S LIKE I SAID
LAST NIGHT--
YOU DO THE BEST
YOU CAN.
YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW
YOUR STRENGTHS
AND WEAKNESSES
AND MAKE THE MOST
OF WHAT YOU'VE GOT.
YEAH, WELL, RIGHT NOW
I HAVEGOT TO GO BACK
TO SLEEP.
WHAT IS THIS THING?
IT'S LIKE...I'M NOT
GOIN' ANYWHERE.
YEAH, THAT'S
THE TREADMILL
YOU BOUGHT.
WE DON'T HAVE LONG
TO GET YOU IN SHAPE,
SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
CRANK THINGS UP.
[KNUCKLES CRACK]
HEY, GOOD WORK, KUZCO.
AND REMEMBER,
JUST DO THE BEST YOU CAN
WITH WHO YOU ARE.
I GUESS MY JOG
BY THE HUT
DIDN'T DISCOURAGE
THE LITTLE GUY
AFTER ALL.
YOU GOTTA ADMIRE
HIS SPIRIT.
WELL, WE'RE NOT TAKING
ANY CHANCES.
HE'S GOT TO LOSE
THE RACE.
TO THE SECRET LAB!
PULL THE LEVEL, KRONK!
[STRAINING]
WRONG LEVER.
YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY
SHOULD LABEL
THESE THINGS.
Recording: PLEASE REMAIN
SEATED AND KEEP HANDS
INSIDE AT ALL TIMES.
HA HA! WHOO!
[SNARL]
OH!
LET'S SEE...HOW CAN I MAKE
KUZCO LOSE THE RACE?
OH...I KNOW!
FIRST, I'LL TURN HIM
INTO A HIPPOPOTAMUS.
THEN I'LL PUT THAT HIPPO
ON A DIET.
THEN I'LL INVITE THE HIPPO
OVER FOR DINNER.
AND WHEN HE GETS HERE,
I'LL FEED HIM AND FEED HIM
AND FEED HIM
UNTIL HE GETS SO BIG...
HE CAN'T EVEN MOVE!
HA HA HA HA!
IT'S BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT,
BRILLIANT!
WHAT ARE YOU SERVIN'?
HUH?
WELL, HIPPOS
ARE VEGETARIANS, REALLY,
SO I THOUGHT
A LIGHT SALAD TO START
AND THEN MAYBE
A VEGGIE LASAGNA.
OF COURSE, WE'LL NEED
ABOUT 80 POUNDS OF THAT.
OR, TO AVOID
AN EXCESSIVE
GROCERY BILL,
I'LL JUST TURN HIM
INTO A TURTLE!
YEAH. GOOD.
THEY DON'T EAT AS MUCH.
TURTLES.
AND THEY'RE SLOW!
IF HE'S A TURTLE,
THERE'S NO WAY
HE CAN WIN THE RACE.
KRONK,
GET THE TURTLE POTION
AND TAKE CARE OF KUZCO.
I'LL MEET YOU
AT THE STARTING LINE.
YOU KNOW, HE'S NOT PROBABLY
GONNA WIN THIS RACE
ANYWAY,
SO THERE'S REALLY NO REASON
TO GO TO ALL THIS TROUBLE.
THEN WHAT WOULD I DO
FOR THE REST OF THE SHOW?
[CLOCK TICKING]
[DING]
RIGHT...
I'LL GET THE POTION.
IT'S BRILLIANT,
BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT!
I THINK I ALREADY
SAID THAT.
Kuzco:
IT'S TIME FOR KUZCO'S DOODLES.
THAT'S THE PART OF THE SHOW
WHERE YOURS TRULY
DRAWS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.
AFTER YZMA LEFT, KRONK--
THIS IS HIM--
HE...WAIT, NOW.
HE NEEDS A STUPIDER HAT.
NO.
NAH.
OK. THAT'S GOOD.
ALL RIGHT.
KRONK, HE WENT OVER
TO YZMA'S SECRET POTION CABINET
AND--WAIT, WAIT.
♪ BORING ♪
I MEAN HE DANCED OVER
TO THE CABINET
LIKE A FUNNY MONKEY
AND HE WENT--
OOH AH AH, OOH AH AH.
HA HA. HE'S A MONKEY.
GOOD NOW...
INSIDE THE SECRET CABINET
WERE A BUNCH OF POTIONS.
BUT THERE WAS ALSO JUNK
LIKE YZMA'S HAIRBRUSH--
DISGUSTING--
AND SOME SORT OF OINTMENT.
DON'T WANNA KNOW.
WELL, KRONK WAS SO FREAKED OUT,
HE GRABBED
THE FIRST POTION HE SAW,
THE WRONG POTION,
THEN HIS PANTS FELL DOWN,
AND HE RAN OUT THE DOOR.
BUH-BYE.
AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
THE END. NOW...
BACK TO ME.
I WAS GETTING LUNCH
IN THE CAFETERIA.
CAN YOU BELIEVE WE'RE SUPPOSED
TOEAT THIS STUFF?
AREN'T GREEN BEANS
SUPPOSED TO BE,
YOU KNOW, GREEN?
I'D CALL THAT...
CHICKEN A LA GROSS.
IS THAT A TOOTH?
HOW'DTHAT GET IN THERE?
HEY YA, KUZCO.
I SEE YOU GOT
THE TOOTH SURPRISE THERE.
YOU MIGHT WANNA EAT
AROUND THE TOOTH.
OH...ALMOST FORGOT.
BROUGHT YOU SOME
HOMEMADE DIPPING SAUCE
FOR YOUR NUGGETS.
WELL, THANKS, KRONK,
BUT I'VE ALREADY GOT
SOME ZESTY WEST
BARBECUE.
RIGHT. BUT THIS IS
A SPECIAL DIPPING SAUCE
I MADE JUST FOR YOU
AND I CALL IT, UH...
KUZCO'S SPECIAL DIPPING SAUCE
MADE JUST FOR HIM.
CLEVER.
[CORK POPS,
LIQUID POURS]
I DUNNO...
OH, COME ON.
YOU GOTTA TRY IT.
OPEN UP.
NO.
ONE BITE.
NO.
COME ON.
UH-UH.
KUZCO-WUZCO,
OPENS-WOPENS!
MM-MM!
CHUGGA-CHUGGA.
HERE COMES
THE NUGGET EXPRESS.
WHOA. I AM NOT EATING
ANYTHING CALLED
THE NUGGET EXPRESS.
[GULP]
[SMACKS LIPS]
HUH! HEY, THAT WAS
PRETTY TASTY.
WHAT WAS THAT...
SOME SORT OF A HONEY
BALSAMIC MUSTARD THING?
UH...I GOTTA GO.
HEY, WHASSUP?
EMPEROR KUZCO
COMIN' THROUGH.
THAT'S ME.
HEY-EY, MALINA!
SAY, I NEVER GOT
AN ANSWER FROM YOU
ABOUT FRIDAY NIGHT.
UH...KUZCO...
HAVE YOU...
SEEN YOURSELF LATELY?
NO, BUT I'M ALWAYS
HAPPY TO ADMIRE
MY HANDSOME--FACE?!
AAH! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!
I'M AN UGLY RABBIT!
[SOBS]
RABBIT FACE!
IT'S NOT JUST MY FACE--
IT'S ALL OF ME!
I'M ALL A RABBIT
WITH AN UGLY RABBIT FACE!
[SIGHS]
AND THAT, MY FRIENDS,
IS HOW I BECAME A RABBIT.
AND AS SOON AS THAT
SIXTH PERIOD BELL RINGS
KRONK WILL WIN THE RACE,
I'LL FAIL P.E. CLASS,
AND YZMA WILL BECOME
EMPRESS.
A SAD ENDING
TO THIS SAD STORY.
UM...KUZCO?
MALINA?
OH...GUESS YOU CAME
TO LAUGH AT ME
LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, RIGHT?
RABBIT FACE. HA HA HA.
YEAH.
HEY, I WOULDN'T LAUGH
AT YOUR RABBIT FACE.
YOUR KUZCO FACE
IS ALREADY FUNNY ENOUGH.
AH, THANKS.
I CAME HERE
BECAUSE I...
I JUST, UM...
I JUST WANTED
TO MAKE SURE
THAT YOU WERE OK.
REALLY?
BUT YOU RAN AWAY
SO FAST, I COULDN'T
CATCH UP.
OH, WELL, THAT'S...
WAIT--WHAT'D YOU SAY?
THAT I WANTED
TO MAKE SURE THAT--
NO, NO, THE OTHER PART
ABOUT ME RUNNING FAST.
OH, THAT I COULDN'T
CATCH YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE
RUNNING AND HOPPING SO FAST?
WAIT A MINUTE...
DUH! PACHA SAID
TO DO THE BEST YOU CAN,
TO KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS
AND WEAKNESSES,
MAKE THE MOST
OF WHAT YOU'VE GOT.
AND I'VE GOT RABBIT FEET!
YOU GET IT?
I'M A HIPPETY-HOPPITY TYPE
FAST-RUNNING RABBIT!
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
WHAT'S THAT BELL?
SIXTH PERIOD'S OVER!
I'VE GOT A RACE TO WIN!
HA. STRANGE WEATHER.
KUZCO IS SUCH
A SLOW TURTLE,
HE'S NOT EVEN GOING
TO MAKE IT TO THE RACE.
OH, UH...ABOUT
THAT TURTLE THING...
KRONK, YOU DID TURN HIM
INTO A TURTLE, DIDN'T YOU?
Race announcer:
ON YOUR MARKS...
I GOTTA GO.
GET SET...
[TWIRR]
Kuzco: HA HA.
HERE COMES
KUZCO COTTONTAIL.
KUZCO...
IS A BUNNY?!
Kuzco:
I'M GONNA WIN!
I'M GONNA WIN!
WHOO HOO! SEE YOU LATER.
OH!
WELL...WHAT NOW?
THERE'S ALWAYS...
[ALLIGATOR SNAPS]
OUCH!
THE ROPE BRIDGE.
[SNAP] OUCH!
NO WAY HE CAN JUMP--
[SNAP] OUCH!
OVER THAT.
[SNAP] OUCH.
PERFECT!
Kronk: BUMMER.
[CLANG]
AAH!
AAH!
[BONG]
[CLANG, THUD]
HA HA.
MY BUTT'S IN THE FOUNTAIN.
WHOO HOO!
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING.
ALL RIGHT, KUZCO!
YAY!
HA HA HEY.
WHO'S GOT THE LUCKY FEET?
I DO! MR. LUCKY RABBIT FEET.
♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH,
UH-HUH, UH-HUH, UH-HUH ♪
AS THE ROYAL
RECORD KEEPER,
I PRONOUNCE
THIS CLASS--PASS!
OH, YEAH!
GRR!
GOOD JOB, KUZCO.
I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT.
ALTHOUGH, I DIDN'T KNOW
IT INVOLVED SUCH A CUTE
LITTLE COTTON TAIL.
NO TOUCHY THE TAIL.
CONGRATULATIONS!
SO, THIS MEAN WE'RE...
HANGIN' OUT FRIDAY
NIGHT?
OH, THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
I'D LOVE TO HANG OUT
WITH YOU GUYS, BUT...
YOU MIND IF
I BRING A FRIEND?
[RIM SHOT]
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT,
KRONK.
I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD
HAVE TURNED HIM
INTO A HIPPO.
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
I, KUZCO, WON THE RACE.
AND AS YOU CAN SEE,
THE POTION WORE OFF
AND I'M BACK TO MY
HANDSOME HUMAN SELF.
THOUGH I DO HAVE
A CRAVING FOR CARROTS.
ANYWAY, LOOKS LIKE YOURS TRULY
STILL HAS A CHANCE TO GRADUATE
FROM KUZCO ACADEMY
AND STAY EMPEROR.
AS FOR KRONK, WELL,
TO MAKE UP FOR HIS MISTAKE,
HE BAKED YZMA SOME OF
HIS FAVORITE SPINACH PUFFS.
WHAT YZMA DOESN'T KNOW
IS I SWITCHED THOSE
SPINACH PUFFS
WITH A LITTLE SOMETHING
I LIKE TO CALL...
RABBIT PUFFS.
KUZCOOOOO!
Kuzco: YOU KNOW, NOT EVERYONE
CAN BE AS PERFECT AS ME.
CHECK OUT THIS LITTLE BLOOPER
FROM TODAY'S SHOW.
HEY, WHAT'S UP?
EMPEROR KUZCO
COMING THROUGH.
HELLO, LADIES.
HEY, HEY, MALINA.
SAY, I NEVER GOT
A CHANCE TO ASK YOU--
WHAT?
UH...
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE
"SCROLL" NOT "SQUIRREL."
PROPS!
TO WELCOME YOU TO MY SHOW
STARRING ME--KUZCO.
SO, NO CHANGING
THE CHANNEL. UNDERSTAND?
NO CHANGING.
OK. THEME MUSIC.
♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE THRONE ♪
♪ HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO SUCCESS ♪
♪ BUT HE HAS
TO GO TO SCHOOL ♪
♪ HE'S GOT
TO ACE THAT TEST ♪
♪ HE'S AN EMPEROR-TO-BE, ♪
♪ AND HE'S TOTALLY... ♪
YOU KNOW,
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.
EXACTLY!
EXACTLY!
♪ LET'S GO ♪
♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ HE'S GOT
TO LEARN HIS ABCs ♪
♪ DON'T TRY
TO STOP HIM,
TO TOP HIM ♪
♪ TO DESTROY HIM,
RIGHT? ♪
UH...
Cheerleaders:
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO!
GO! GO!
♪ HE'S GOT THE COOL,
HE'S GOT THE CHARM
AND THE LOOKS ♪
♪ AND A HOTTIE
THAT CAN HELP HIM ♪
♪ READ THAT THING
CALLED BOOKS ♪
♪ LET'S GO ♪
♪ HE'S GOING
TO KUZCO ACADEMY ♪
♪ COME ON, KUZCO ♪
♪ HE'S GOT TO FULFILL
HIS DESTINY ♪
♪ HIS FRIENDS ARE LOYAL,
IT'S ROYAL ♪
♪ THEY'LL HELP
AGAINST THE FOIL ♪
FRIENDS?
I THOUGHT THIS
WAS ALL ABOUT ME.
HEH HEH.
SPELL MY NAME AGAIN.
Cheerleaders:
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO!
Kuzco: THIS IS
KUZCO ACADEMY.
AND YOU'LL NEVER
BELIEVE THIS,
BUT THAT SAD RABBIT
YOU'RE LOOKING AT
WAS ONCE A STUDENT HERE,
AND NOT JUST ANY STUDENT.
EITHER. UH-UH.
THAT STUDENT WAS AN EMPEROR.
MY NAME IS KUZCO,
AND I AM THAT SAD RABBIT.
HEY, I WAS JUST TRYING
TO GET THROUGH SCHOOL
SO I CAN STAY EMPEROR,
BUT SOMEONE'S OUT
TO MAKE SURE I FAIL
AND HER NAME IS
YZMA THE WRINKLED UGLY ONE.
HUH HUH. ALL RIGHT,
I ADDED THE WRINKLED
UGLY ONE PART.
ONCE KUZCO FAILS SCHOOL,
I'LL BECOME EMPRESS.
AH HA HA HA HA.
[COUGHS]
Kuzco: AND SHE'S
GOT A LITTLE HELP.
ACTUALLY, A BIG HELP.
KRONK.
NOW, ONCE KUZCO
FAILS SCHOOL, I WILL
BECOME...UH, WAIT.
WHAT WILL I BECOME?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
BACK TO ME.
SO, HOW DID I GET
TURNED INTO A RABBIT,
AND WHY IS
MY LIFE RUINED?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
THIS WILL ALL MAKE
SENSE IF YOU JUST
GO BACK TO A LITTLE
EARLIER TODAY.
EH, NO!
NOT THAT MUCH EARLIER.
MORE LIKE
AROUND P.E. CLASS.
[TWIRR]
ALL RIGHT! LISTEN UP!
FRIDAY AT THE END
OF SIXTH PERIOD,
WE'RE HAVING
A CROSS-COUNTRY RACE.
THE RACE BEGINS HERE
AND FINISHES JUST
BEYOND THE ROPE BRIDGE.
DOCTOR'S NOTE.
AGAIN?
UH, YEAH. SO I'LL SEE
Y'ALL IN YOUR LITTLE
RACE THINGY LATER.
SO LONG.
HASTA LA BYE-BYE.
SEND ME AN EMAIL.
NOT TODAY, KUZCO.
LOOK, UH,
COACH SWEATY?
IT'S SWEETIE!
OK.
YOUR DOCTOR ALREADY
GOT YOU OUTTA BASKETBALL.
BAD ANKLES.
VOLLEYBALL.
HAMSTRING.
SOCCER.
HEAD TRAUMA.
DODGEBALL.
RUPTURED SPLEEN.
BASEBALL.
ELBOW-ITIS.
BADMINTON.
SILLY-ITIS.
AND TIDDLYWINKS.
THUMB JOINT-ITIS.
I GOTTA PROTECT
THE ROYAL THUMBS.
I'M BEGINNING TO THINK
THIS DOCTOR K-UZCO OF YOURS
IS SOMETHING YOU MADE UP.
WHAT?
SO, NOT ONLY ARE YOU
GOING TO RUN THE RACE,
YOU'RE GONNA WIN.
REALLY? I WIN?
YAY FOR ME!
WHOO-HOO.
DO DO DODO DO DO DO
DO DODO DO DO--
WHAT?
BECAUSE IF YOU
DON'T WIN...
YOU WILL FAIL THIS CLASS
AND NOT BECOME EMPEROR.
HUH?
YEAH, WHAT HE SAID.
BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO BEAT KRONK?
OH, MY SPECIAL SURPRISE.
[BLENDER BUZZES]
MADE YOU A MANGO
SMOOTHIE, COACH SWEETIE.
YOU FORGOT THE STRAW.
GOOD CALL.
[DOOR SLAMS]
HEY, GET THIS.
THE STRAW MAKES A FUNNY
SQUEAK-SQUEAK SOUND
WHEN YOU PULL IT
IN AND OUT.
[SQUEAKING]
I'M KRONK. I'M SO BIG
AND STRONG AND FAST.
LOOK AT ME,
I CAN MAKE SMOOTHIES.
HMM. I'LL SHOW HIM.
Malina:
K-U-Z-C-O!
KUZCO! KUZCO! GO! GO!
HEY, HEY, THERE.
MALINA.
OH, HEY, KUZCO.
SAY, I HEARD FROM KUIKIE
THAT YOU AND KRONK...
[THINKING] WOW.
MALINA'S, LIKE, THE
GREATEST GIRL ON CAMPUS.
ACTUALLY, SHE'S NOT
LIKE THE GREATEST GIRL.
SHE IS THE GREATEST
GIRL, AND HERE'S WHY:
1. SHE'S PRESIDENT
OF EVERY CLUB,
2. SHE'S
AN A-PLUS STUDENT,
AND 3. SHE'S A TOTAL
HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE.
YEP. HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE.
HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE.
HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE.
KUZCO!
WHAT?
WERE YOU CALLING ME
A HOTTIE HOT HOTTIE
IN YOUR HEAD AGAIN?
UH, YEAH, BUT DIDN'T
YOU ALSO HEAR ME SAY,
"A-PLUS SOMETHING
OR ANOTHER?"
SURE. THANKS.
ANYWAY. SO, UH,
NICE MOVES.
MM-HMM. YOU JUST
KEEP ON CHEERIN'
FOR ME, BABE.
ACTUALLY, I WAS,
LIKE, CHEERING
THE NAME OF THE SCHOOL.
WHICH HAPPENS TO BE
MY NAME SINCE I,
EMPEROR KUZCO...
[FANFARE]
PAID FOR IT.
WELL, I HEAR YOU WON'T
BE EMPEROR ANYMORE
IF YOU DON'T BEAT KRONK.
AH, KRONK.
WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WHAT DO YOU GIRLS
SEE IN THAT GUY?
I MEAN, I'M JUST
AS HANDSOME AS HE IS.
IF I HAD HIS CHIN
AND HIS CHEST
AND HIS MUSCLES
AND HIS [DEEP VOICE]
DEEP VOICE.
HEY! YOU FORGOT
HIS CUTE DIMPLES.
OH, YEAH?
WELL, CHECK THIS OUT.
IS THAT YOUR FACE?
YEAH. SO? YOU WANNA COME
OVER AND HELP ME WITH MY
HOMEWORK FRIDAY NIGHT?
UH, WE'LL SEE.
K-U-Z-C-O.
KUZCO! KUZCO! GO! GO!
K-U-Z-C-O.
IT'S PERFECT.
PERFECT. PERFECT.
IF KUZCO LOSES THAT
RACE, I WILL BECOME
EMPRESS. HA HA HA HA HA.
EH HEH. HI, THERE.
SORRY TO INTERRUPT
JUST WANTED TO POINT
OUT HOW THE PRINCIPAL
AMZY HERE,
THAT'S HER, IS
REALLY THE EVIL YZMA
IN DISGUISE.
AMZY. YZMA.
LIKE NOBODY'S GONNA
FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.
DUH. HA HA. WAIT.
WATCH THIS.
LOOK AT ME. I'M AN UGLY,
OLD WRINKLED LADY
WITH A CURLY Q
MOUSTACHE.
HA HA. OK. SORRY.
BACK TO THE SHOW.
AH HA HA HA HA!
YOU, UH--YOU WANTED
TO SEE ME, PRINCIPAL AMZY?
COME IN. COME IN.
WELL, I HOPE EVERYTHING'S
OK WITH MY G.P.A.
I KNOW I BURNED
THE SPINACH PASTA
IN HOME EC.
QUIET, KRONK.
IT'S ME.
YZMA? WOW.
WELL, NOBODY'S GONNA
FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.
LISTEN UP. YOU AND I
ARE GONNA MAKE SURE
KUZCO LOSES THAT RACE.
HA HA HA HA HA.
[COUGHS]
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING?
UH, A SMOOTHIE?
I'M FINE.
I'M TELLIN' YA.
THERE'S NO WAY KUZCO'S
GONNA BEAT KRONK
IN THAT RACE TOMORROW.
YEAH. THE ONLY EXERCISE
HE GETS IS RUNNING
THE COUNTRY. HEH HEH.
I'VE NEVER EVEN
SEEN HIM LIFT A FINGER.
HA HA HA HA.
Both: [LAUGHING]
Kuzco: AH HA HO
HEE HO HO.
VERY FUNNY, GUYS. I'LL
HAVE BOTH OF YOU KNOW,
JUST LAST WEEK,
I BOUGHT A TREADMILL.
OH. YOU LIKE IT?
I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T
GET THE CARTON OPEN.
IT'S LIKE STAPLED
SHUT OR SOMETHING,
BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER,
'CAUSE I'M IN GREAT SHAPE,
AND I'M GONNA BEAT
THE PANTS OFF KRONKETY
KRONK KRONK. HA HA.
THANK YOU, BOYS.
I'LL BE WALKING
THE REST OF THE WAY HOME.
ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN
MAKE IT UP THE STAIRS?
HUH? THEY'RE JUST STAIRS.
NO BIG DEAL.
OOH, STAIRS!
THEY'RE SO STEEP.
HA HA. NO PROBLEM.
WHEW.
TAKING A BREAK?
IT'S CALLED
PACING YOURSELF.
WHEW. DID WE
JUST PUT THESE IN?
COME ON,
EVERYBODY. DINNER.
I CAN TOO
OUT-RUN YOU.
NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.
NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.
NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.
NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.
HEY, HEY. SLOW DOWN.
WE'RE PLAYING
KRONK VERSUS KUZCO.
SHE MADE ME
HAVE TO BE KUZCO.
AND WHAT'S
WRONG WITH THAT?
HE'S THE LOSER.
YEAH.
EVERYBODY
IN THE VILLAGE
SAYS THERE'S NO WAY
IN A BILLION,
GAZILLION YEARS
KUZCO CAN
OUT-RUN KRONK.
HEY, EVERYBODY.
GUESS IT'S TIME
TO CARVE UP FOR THE
BIG RACE TOMORROW.
UH, KUZCO,
ABOUT THAT RACE...
YEAH? WHAT ABOUT IT?
YOU JUST DO
THE BEST YOU CAN.
DON'T LISTEN
TO ANY RUMORS YOU HEAR
AROUND THE VILLAGE.
I DON'T WANT YOU
TO BE WORRIED.
HEY, HEY. IT'S OK.
I'M NOT WORRIED.
NO WORRIED.
ME WORRIED? UH-HUH.
IF I WERE WORRIED,
I'D BE ALL,
"I'M WORRIED. OOH,
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?"
BUT I'M NOT.
WORRIED, THAT IS.
NO, UH-HUH.
NOT WORRIED AT ALL.
WHAT'S THE WORD THAT
MEANS THE OPPOSITE
OF WORRIED? HMM.
WELL, WHATEVER THAT WORD
IS THAT'S HOW I FEEL,
BECAUSE ME
AND WORRIED, WE JUST
DO NOT GET ALONG.
HE'S LIKE, "HEY,
I'M MR. WORRIED.
HOW'S IT GOIN'?"
AND I'M LIKE, "WELL,
MOVE ALONG, PAL,
'CAUSE THIS HERE IS
NO WORRIED PARKING."
HA HA. YEAH.
ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE NOT WORRIED?
ME PLUS RACE EQUALS...
NO WORRIED.
Kronk: EVENING, KUZCO.
PACHA, CHICHA,
CHACA, TIPO,
AND WHERE'S LITTLE YUPI?
ASLEEP.
RIGHT. GOOD.
BABY'S ASLEEP.
THEY, UH--THEY DO THAT.
HA HA HA.
KRONK, IS THERE
A REASON YOU STOPPED BY?
HUH? OH, NO REASON.
I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
THOUGHT I'D SAY HI
ON MY NIGHTLY 20-MILE JOG.
YEAH. 20 MILES
EACH WAY EVERY NIGHT.
JOGGING. NOT EVEN TIRED.
STAY IN SHAPE.
CARDIOVASCULAR.
OK, THEN. WE'LL SEE YOU
AT THE RACE TOMORROW, KUZCO.
IS THAT POTATO STEW?
YES, IT IS.
SMELLS GREAT.
SEE YOU AT THE RACE.
WELL, DID YOU
INTIMIDATE HIM?
IS HE GOING TO
DROP OUT OF
THE RACE?
YEAH, I THINK THE LITTLE GUY
GOT THE IDEA.
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT
REALLY THAT HUNGRY.
[YAWN]
I THINK I'M GONNA
GO ON TO BED.
NIGHT-NIGHT.
[SOBBING]
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
I'M A LOSER!
LOSER FACE! [SOBS]
IT'S LIKE I SAID
LAST NIGHT--
YOU DO THE BEST
YOU CAN.
YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW
YOUR STRENGTHS
AND WEAKNESSES
AND MAKE THE MOST
OF WHAT YOU'VE GOT.
YEAH, WELL, RIGHT NOW
I HAVEGOT TO GO BACK
TO SLEEP.
WHAT IS THIS THING?
IT'S LIKE...I'M NOT
GOIN' ANYWHERE.
YEAH, THAT'S
THE TREADMILL
YOU BOUGHT.
WE DON'T HAVE LONG
TO GET YOU IN SHAPE,
SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
CRANK THINGS UP.
[KNUCKLES CRACK]
HEY, GOOD WORK, KUZCO.
AND REMEMBER,
JUST DO THE BEST YOU CAN
WITH WHO YOU ARE.
I GUESS MY JOG
BY THE HUT
DIDN'T DISCOURAGE
THE LITTLE GUY
AFTER ALL.
YOU GOTTA ADMIRE
HIS SPIRIT.
WELL, WE'RE NOT TAKING
ANY CHANCES.
HE'S GOT TO LOSE
THE RACE.
TO THE SECRET LAB!
PULL THE LEVEL, KRONK!
[STRAINING]
WRONG LEVER.
YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY
SHOULD LABEL
THESE THINGS.
Recording: PLEASE REMAIN
SEATED AND KEEP HANDS
INSIDE AT ALL TIMES.
HA HA! WHOO!
[SNARL]
OH!
LET'S SEE...HOW CAN I MAKE
KUZCO LOSE THE RACE?
OH...I KNOW!
FIRST, I'LL TURN HIM
INTO A HIPPOPOTAMUS.
THEN I'LL PUT THAT HIPPO
ON A DIET.
THEN I'LL INVITE THE HIPPO
OVER FOR DINNER.
AND WHEN HE GETS HERE,
I'LL FEED HIM AND FEED HIM
AND FEED HIM
UNTIL HE GETS SO BIG...
HE CAN'T EVEN MOVE!
HA HA HA HA!
IT'S BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT,
BRILLIANT!
WHAT ARE YOU SERVIN'?
HUH?
WELL, HIPPOS
ARE VEGETARIANS, REALLY,
SO I THOUGHT
A LIGHT SALAD TO START
AND THEN MAYBE
A VEGGIE LASAGNA.
OF COURSE, WE'LL NEED
ABOUT 80 POUNDS OF THAT.
OR, TO AVOID
AN EXCESSIVE
GROCERY BILL,
I'LL JUST TURN HIM
INTO A TURTLE!
YEAH. GOOD.
THEY DON'T EAT AS MUCH.
TURTLES.
AND THEY'RE SLOW!
IF HE'S A TURTLE,
THERE'S NO WAY
HE CAN WIN THE RACE.
KRONK,
GET THE TURTLE POTION
AND TAKE CARE OF KUZCO.
I'LL MEET YOU
AT THE STARTING LINE.
YOU KNOW, HE'S NOT PROBABLY
GONNA WIN THIS RACE
ANYWAY,
SO THERE'S REALLY NO REASON
TO GO TO ALL THIS TROUBLE.
THEN WHAT WOULD I DO
FOR THE REST OF THE SHOW?
[CLOCK TICKING]
[DING]
RIGHT...
I'LL GET THE POTION.
IT'S BRILLIANT,
BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT!
I THINK I ALREADY
SAID THAT.
Kuzco:
IT'S TIME FOR KUZCO'S DOODLES.
THAT'S THE PART OF THE SHOW
WHERE YOURS TRULY
DRAWS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.
AFTER YZMA LEFT, KRONK--
THIS IS HIM--
HE...WAIT, NOW.
HE NEEDS A STUPIDER HAT.
NO.
NAH.
OK. THAT'S GOOD.
ALL RIGHT.
KRONK, HE WENT OVER
TO YZMA'S SECRET POTION CABINET
AND--WAIT, WAIT.
♪ BORING ♪
I MEAN HE DANCED OVER
TO THE CABINET
LIKE A FUNNY MONKEY
AND HE WENT--
OOH AH AH, OOH AH AH.
HA HA. HE'S A MONKEY.
GOOD NOW...
INSIDE THE SECRET CABINET
WERE A BUNCH OF POTIONS.
BUT THERE WAS ALSO JUNK
LIKE YZMA'S HAIRBRUSH--
DISGUSTING--
AND SOME SORT OF OINTMENT.
DON'T WANNA KNOW.
WELL, KRONK WAS SO FREAKED OUT,
HE GRABBED
THE FIRST POTION HE SAW,
THE WRONG POTION,
THEN HIS PANTS FELL DOWN,
AND HE RAN OUT THE DOOR.
BUH-BYE.
AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
THE END. NOW...
BACK TO ME.
I WAS GETTING LUNCH
IN THE CAFETERIA.
CAN YOU BELIEVE WE'RE SUPPOSED
TOEAT THIS STUFF?
AREN'T GREEN BEANS
SUPPOSED TO BE,
YOU KNOW, GREEN?
I'D CALL THAT...
CHICKEN A LA GROSS.
IS THAT A TOOTH?
HOW'DTHAT GET IN THERE?
HEY YA, KUZCO.
I SEE YOU GOT
THE TOOTH SURPRISE THERE.
YOU MIGHT WANNA EAT
AROUND THE TOOTH.
OH...ALMOST FORGOT.
BROUGHT YOU SOME
HOMEMADE DIPPING SAUCE
FOR YOUR NUGGETS.
WELL, THANKS, KRONK,
BUT I'VE ALREADY GOT
SOME ZESTY WEST
BARBECUE.
RIGHT. BUT THIS IS
A SPECIAL DIPPING SAUCE
I MADE JUST FOR YOU
AND I CALL IT, UH...
KUZCO'S SPECIAL DIPPING SAUCE
MADE JUST FOR HIM.
CLEVER.
[CORK POPS,
LIQUID POURS]
I DUNNO...
OH, COME ON.
YOU GOTTA TRY IT.
OPEN UP.
NO.
ONE BITE.
NO.
COME ON.
UH-UH.
KUZCO-WUZCO,
OPENS-WOPENS!
MM-MM!
CHUGGA-CHUGGA.
HERE COMES
THE NUGGET EXPRESS.
WHOA. I AM NOT EATING
ANYTHING CALLED
THE NUGGET EXPRESS.
[GULP]
[SMACKS LIPS]
HUH! HEY, THAT WAS
PRETTY TASTY.
WHAT WAS THAT...
SOME SORT OF A HONEY
BALSAMIC MUSTARD THING?
UH...I GOTTA GO.
HEY, WHASSUP?
EMPEROR KUZCO
COMIN' THROUGH.
THAT'S ME.
HEY-EY, MALINA!
SAY, I NEVER GOT
AN ANSWER FROM YOU
ABOUT FRIDAY NIGHT.
UH...KUZCO...
HAVE YOU...
SEEN YOURSELF LATELY?
NO, BUT I'M ALWAYS
HAPPY TO ADMIRE
MY HANDSOME--FACE?!
AAH! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!
I'M AN UGLY RABBIT!
[SOBS]
RABBIT FACE!
IT'S NOT JUST MY FACE--
IT'S ALL OF ME!
I'M ALL A RABBIT
WITH AN UGLY RABBIT FACE!
[SIGHS]
AND THAT, MY FRIENDS,
IS HOW I BECAME A RABBIT.
AND AS SOON AS THAT
SIXTH PERIOD BELL RINGS
KRONK WILL WIN THE RACE,
I'LL FAIL P.E. CLASS,
AND YZMA WILL BECOME
EMPRESS.
A SAD ENDING
TO THIS SAD STORY.
UM...KUZCO?
MALINA?
OH...GUESS YOU CAME
TO LAUGH AT ME
LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, RIGHT?
RABBIT FACE. HA HA HA.
YEAH.
HEY, I WOULDN'T LAUGH
AT YOUR RABBIT FACE.
YOUR KUZCO FACE
IS ALREADY FUNNY ENOUGH.
AH, THANKS.
I CAME HERE
BECAUSE I...
I JUST, UM...
I JUST WANTED
TO MAKE SURE
THAT YOU WERE OK.
REALLY?
BUT YOU RAN AWAY
SO FAST, I COULDN'T
CATCH UP.
OH, WELL, THAT'S...
WAIT--WHAT'D YOU SAY?
THAT I WANTED
TO MAKE SURE THAT--
NO, NO, THE OTHER PART
ABOUT ME RUNNING FAST.
OH, THAT I COULDN'T
CATCH YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE
RUNNING AND HOPPING SO FAST?
WAIT A MINUTE...
DUH! PACHA SAID
TO DO THE BEST YOU CAN,
TO KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS
AND WEAKNESSES,
MAKE THE MOST
OF WHAT YOU'VE GOT.
AND I'VE GOT RABBIT FEET!
YOU GET IT?
I'M A HIPPETY-HOPPITY TYPE
FAST-RUNNING RABBIT!
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
WHAT'S THAT BELL?
SIXTH PERIOD'S OVER!
I'VE GOT A RACE TO WIN!
HA. STRANGE WEATHER.
KUZCO IS SUCH
A SLOW TURTLE,
HE'S NOT EVEN GOING
TO MAKE IT TO THE RACE.
OH, UH...ABOUT
THAT TURTLE THING...
KRONK, YOU DID TURN HIM
INTO A TURTLE, DIDN'T YOU?
Race announcer:
ON YOUR MARKS...
I GOTTA GO.
GET SET...
[TWIRR]
Kuzco: HA HA.
HERE COMES
KUZCO COTTONTAIL.
KUZCO...
IS A BUNNY?!
Kuzco:
I'M GONNA WIN!
I'M GONNA WIN!
WHOO HOO! SEE YOU LATER.
OH!
WELL...WHAT NOW?
THERE'S ALWAYS...
[ALLIGATOR SNAPS]
OUCH!
THE ROPE BRIDGE.
[SNAP] OUCH!
NO WAY HE CAN JUMP--
[SNAP] OUCH!
OVER THAT.
[SNAP] OUCH.
PERFECT!
Kronk: BUMMER.
[CLANG]
AAH!
AAH!
[BONG]
[CLANG, THUD]
HA HA.
MY BUTT'S IN THE FOUNTAIN.
WHOO HOO!
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING.
ALL RIGHT, KUZCO!
YAY!
HA HA HEY.
WHO'S GOT THE LUCKY FEET?
I DO! MR. LUCKY RABBIT FEET.
♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH,
UH-HUH, UH-HUH, UH-HUH ♪
AS THE ROYAL
RECORD KEEPER,
I PRONOUNCE
THIS CLASS--PASS!
OH, YEAH!
GRR!
GOOD JOB, KUZCO.
I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT.
ALTHOUGH, I DIDN'T KNOW
IT INVOLVED SUCH A CUTE
LITTLE COTTON TAIL.
NO TOUCHY THE TAIL.
CONGRATULATIONS!
SO, THIS MEAN WE'RE...
HANGIN' OUT FRIDAY
NIGHT?
OH, THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
I'D LOVE TO HANG OUT
WITH YOU GUYS, BUT...
YOU MIND IF
I BRING A FRIEND?
[RIM SHOT]
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT,
KRONK.
I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD
HAVE TURNED HIM
INTO A HIPPO.
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
I, KUZCO, WON THE RACE.
AND AS YOU CAN SEE,
THE POTION WORE OFF
AND I'M BACK TO MY
HANDSOME HUMAN SELF.
THOUGH I DO HAVE
A CRAVING FOR CARROTS.
ANYWAY, LOOKS LIKE YOURS TRULY
STILL HAS A CHANCE TO GRADUATE
FROM KUZCO ACADEMY
AND STAY EMPEROR.
AS FOR KRONK, WELL,
TO MAKE UP FOR HIS MISTAKE,
HE BAKED YZMA SOME OF
HIS FAVORITE SPINACH PUFFS.
WHAT YZMA DOESN'T KNOW
IS I SWITCHED THOSE
SPINACH PUFFS
WITH A LITTLE SOMETHING
I LIKE TO CALL...
RABBIT PUFFS.
KUZCOOOOO!
Kuzco: YOU KNOW, NOT EVERYONE
CAN BE AS PERFECT AS ME.
CHECK OUT THIS LITTLE BLOOPER
FROM TODAY'S SHOW.
HEY, WHAT'S UP?
EMPEROR KUZCO
COMING THROUGH.
HELLO, LADIES.
HEY, HEY, MALINA.
SAY, I NEVER GOT
A CHANCE TO ASK YOU--
WHAT?
UH...
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE
"SCROLL" NOT "SQUIRREL."
PROPS!