The Edison Twins (1982–1986): Season 6, Episode 2 - The Initiation - full transcript

Tom is undergoing a torturous initiation into the engineering fraternity and Annie is having problems in biology. When the professor brings in some rabbits as test subjects, Annies outraged lab partner decided to take matters into his own hands and Tom is called in to help Annie save the student from expulsion.

I mean look at all the

choices.

Business administration, French

literature, Medieval studies,

veterinary science.

How’s a guy supposed to know?

Nick, you major in the

courses you’re most interested

in and you minor in courses to

try out a few new things.

It’s really quite simple.



Simple for you, Tom.

Oh what do you mean simple?

This guy’s been thrashing about

for days trying to pick out his

minors.

Give me a break.

You guys have known you wanted

to be scientists since day one.

How?

We do what comes naturally.

Do you mind being a bit more

specific, Tom.

I’m looking for guidance here.

Nick, I’m majoring in



engineering because I like to

build things.

And I’m majoring in biology

because I like studying nature.

Well I like being the life of

the party.

So what do I major in?



♪ They’re growin’ up and they’re

on their way ♪

♪ In college now they work and

play ♪

♪ The pace is faster as the

moment begins ♪

♪ Here come the Edison Twins

♪ Every day is a different

trial ♪

♪ But they pull through with

a lot of style ♪

♪ Always getting out of trouble

that they get in ♪

♪ Life with the Edison Twins

(Whistling)

♪ And if you use your head,

you’ll always win ♪

♪ You know the Edison Twins

♪ Oh, no two days are quite

the same ♪

♪ Life is just a learning game

♪ And if you use your head,

you’ll always win ♪

♪ Just like the Edison Twins

Look at the time.

We’ve got to motor.

We can’t be late for the

first class.

Initiation today.

(Knocking)

Coming.

Oh hi, Suzie, come on in.

School days for you too, huh?

How do you spell psychology?

Tell you what, boy genius,

you come over for dinner tonight

and we’ll help you sort out all

your courses, okay?

Hasn’t he made up his mind

yet?

Some would question whether

he has a mind to make up.

PROFESSOR ADAMS: As a

biologist, you are one of

nature’s custodians.

You’ll spend your life learning

to understand and protect her.

It is an enormous

responsibility.

A life calling.

Definitely not something to be

taken lightly.

Now we’ve paired you up with

another student who will be your

work partner for the next three

days of course orientation.

Now what we’ll be doing is a

model experiment to introduce to

the kind of thing we teach here.

While I pick up the specimens,

I’d like you to get to know your

partner.

Hello, Peter, I’m Annie.

Hi.

Hi.

Where are you from?

Different places.

I guess I’m from here now.

Oh.

Listen, I’m not very good at

small talk.

That makes two of us.

Don’t worry, no pressure from

me.

Deal.

Now, let’s talk about those

responsibilities out there in

the big bad world.

And those responsibilities start

here.

(Laughing)

Lesson one, these are not cute

little bunnies.

This is a scientific subject.

We’ll be using these to conduct

a few simple experiments on the

autonomic nervous system.

I’d advise you not to name them.

Why?

Why?

Because it’s not a good idea to

get attached to lab animals.

Right.

You and your partner will be

responsible for the care and

welfare of your specimen for the

next few days and you can pick

them up now.

I’m leaving.

He’s on a singer’s

scholarship, they always think

they’re a little bit special.

Peter.

We’re supposed to be responsible

for our rabbit.

Uh, could you handle it

yourself?

Sure, okay.

Is something wrong?

I’m just not in to animal

research, okay.

It’s not why I came here.

You came here on a singer’s

scholarship, didn’t you?

Who told you that?

Professor Adams, isn’t that a

big deal?

I guess so.

Let’s go have a coffee.

Why?

Because I said so.

Okay, a coffee.

MR. DICKORY: For the next

three days we intend to make

sure that all you freshmen

understand the study of

engineering is a serious

business.

And what are we trying to

give you?

ALL: College knowledge.

And that’s the truth, Ruth.

ALL: And that’s the truth,

Ruth.

Now it is normal procedure to

give a special responsibility to

the freshman entering the

program with the highest marks.

Could Tom Edison identify

himself please?

Well stand up.

Now it says here you graduated

from high school with a 97

percent average.

Something like that.

Pardon?

I mean yes sir, Mr. Dickory.

Come up here, Edison.

Put your hat on backwards.

Top marks, he is a bit slow.

(Laughing)

Backwards, that’s the opposite

of forwards.

Tom Edison got the highest

marks now we’re letting him wear

his hat backwards so that you’ll

all remember that.

And he’s going to set an example

for the rest of you, right,

Edison?

Right.

Pull up that chart, will you,

Edison?

(Ripping)

(Laughing)

Thanks for the help, Edison,

that will be all.

Hey everybody, let’s give Mr.

Top Marks a big hand, okay?

(Clapping)

The first two days we’re going

to be talking about cleaning up

and a new version of ping pong.

On day three, you are going to

submit an engineering project

that shows you know how to apply

what you’ve learned.

(Laughing)

And what’s that going to take?

ALL: College knowledge.

And?

That’s the truth, Ruth.

I think they’re ready for the

first exercise.

Rub out those black specks.

It’s under the polish.

What’s that you say?

Under the polish?

Oh, you’ve got your work cut out

for you.

How’s it going, Edison?

Absolutely fine, sir.

And what are we learning?

College knowledge.

I can’t hear you.

College knowledge.

Oh man.

Oops, oh sorry, Edison.

Thank goodness you’ve got the

right equipment to clean that up

though.



(Thudding)

Whoa, home economics for the

second time.

Nick, I do not think this is

the best way for you to pick

your major.

What do you know.

I’m getting cosmic guidance.

Maybe I was born to bake.

ANNIE: You look beat.

I’m beyond beat.

I’m meat on a hook.

The engineers are famous for

their gross initiation rituals.

There is a difference between

initiation and humiliation.

Oh you could have fooled me.

Did we get a new pet?

Oh no that’s my biology

project.

The bunny without a name.

I’m calling you Mr. Snarf.

Isn’t he neat.

He gave us the higher

responsibility rap today.

You are now the custodian of

this bunny’s life.

Because you are such a cute

little bunny, aren’t ya.

They really lay it on with a

trowel, don’t they.

Well I spent today scrubbing

the hallway floors with a

toothbrush.

I’d like telling this doorknob

who’s running things to...

Ah, ah, ah, ah, bite your

tongue.

It’s only for three days.

I’m serious, what’s all this

guff got to do with science?

You’re as bad as my lab

partner.

I got stuck with this guy who’s

here on a singer’s scholarship,

no less.

Oh, heavy.

What’s heavy about the whole

thing is he already wants to

quit the program.

What?

Yeah, he’s not in to testing

lab animals.

Well did he quit?

No, no, I talked him out of

it.

How could anyone do lab

experiments on poor Mr. Snarf.

Easy, you just take the

electrodes and...

Stop.

Sorry, just that my lack of

direction is driving me crazy.

All I know is that I’m headed

for home economics.

What happened to psychology?

I checked around but I

couldn’t get anyone’s notes.

I’m serious, you should major

in psychology.

You’re a natural psycho.

You really think so?

Yeah.

Hey, well what do you know,

psychology.

Hey maybe you’re on to something

here.

Good morning, class.

Yesterday we discussed your

responsibilities as scientists.

I want you to think about that.

This is a model of a rabbit’s

brain.

This is a standard sensory array

used to measure heart beat,

respiration, and galvanic skin

response in animal subjects.

I’m not in to this.

We’re cracking ping pong

people.

Why are you having so many

problems.

Oh it looks like Tom Edison is

using his shirt cardboard...

You’ve got it, Tom.

(Cheering)

It’s time for the last

obstacle.

Mr. Top Marks is holding up

well against the wind array.

Looks like he’s going to win.

Unless of course it starts to

rain.

So close yet so far.

Good luck with your project.

Remember it’s due tomorrow

morning.

I’ll be taking a special

interest in it.

Some colleagues of mine have

been using these rabbits to do

some behavioural research.

They have been taught to

associate a particular tone with

food.

Now, I want you to watch your

rabbits very closely.

(Tone beeping)

They’re attracted to the tone

because they associate it with

food.

It’s animal torture.

Oh don’t be ridiculous.

Food is something they like.

Now what we’re going to be

looking at today is how we can

use other sounds and visual

stimuli to create stressful

reactions in our test organisms.

And to demonstrate this, I’ve

set up a little experiment.

So if you’ll take your rabbits

out in to the hall we can get on

with the show.

Do you hear him?

Test organism.

Could you calm down?

Why should I calm down?

It’s the way these guys think.

Peter, Peter.

Scientists have been doing

experiments on lab animals for

centuries.

You think of all the

breakthroughs that wouldn’t have

happened if...

But it’s wrong.

They talk about reverence for

life and then they start calling

live animals test organisms.

Go in there, please, and

we’ll talk about this later.

This is a stroboscopic light.

Familiar to most of you hanging

around discotheques.

Aside from disorientation, there

is no appreciable contribution

to stress in test subjects.

What’s going on?

So in order to test stress

in subjects we will add an

audio component.

Now listen to this familiar

sound.

(Evil laughing)

And now we’ll loop it to seem

unfamiliar.

And add another sound to really

make it unfamiliar.

Please, please do not put

your hands over your ears.

The idea is for you to

experience the unpleasant

situation and monitor your own

stress levels.

Good luck with your

experiments.

You can’t walk away from

something like this.

Why not?

If you don’t like what’s

going on in there, you should

stand up and say something.

It’s a course.

They’re in to doing things their

own way.

The end justifies the means.

They don’t want to listen to

some wet behind the ears

freshman.

How do you know that?

Sometimes you just know

things, Annie.

You better get back in there.

It sounds like you’re missing

all the fun.

I want to talk about this

right now.

Oh really?

Yes.

Okay.



You must think that I like to

hang around here.

Yeah, what’s wrong with your

own apartment?

Well it gets lonely down at

the other end of the hall.

Anyways, Tom’s depressed so I

decided to make him some of my

special...

Some of my special scrambled

eggs.

The engineers hosed him down.

He says he wants to quit.

You’re kidding, aren’t you?

That guy is too much of a

jerk.

Which guy?

Hickory.

Dickory.

Dock.

Nick, I’m not in the mood,

okay?

Sorry.

You knew engineering

orientation would be bad.

What did you do today?

Tried to guide a ping pong

ball through an obstacle course.

Figures.

The guy expects me to hand in

a project tomorrow.

Forget it.

What’d you say?

I said it figures.

Yesterday’s exercise it sounded

like a lecture on tools.

You know how frustration builds

up when you don’t have the right

tools for the job.

You’re right.

Like trying to clean the floor

with a toothbrush.

Then there was today’s lesson on

appropriate technology.

Why don’t they just say

something about it?

ANNIE: Maybe they did.

NICK: Eat.

Good news is I love psychology.

Ah, good.

You know what it’s all about,

communication.

Tom, communicate.

These are truly horrible.

That’s it.

He’s sharing his feelings.

You know that guy I was

telling you about?

Who the singer’s scholarship?

He still wants out of the

program?

I didn’t tell you the whole

story.

The guy, he’s really smart...

Then what’s his problem?

Sounds like "nerdiness."

His problem is he knows too

much and I’ve started to listen

to him.

Uh oh.

According to Peter’s

research, every year almost a

quarter of a billion animals are

killed in laboratory tests.

Out of that, half of them are

killed by inexperienced

students, or technicians.

(Phone ringing)

NICK: Edison residence, this

is the dog speaking.

When he told me this he was

almost in tears.

I’ve never seen a guy get so

emotional.

Well why doesn’t he just do

something about it?

He just did.

Mr. Snarf and all of his buddies

are on the loose.

It’s Peter, you better talk to

him.

I don’t believe this.

Just stay there.

Let me handle this.

I want to talk to you.

What’s there to talk about?

You told me to do something, I

did something.

You’re going to get kicked

out of the program.

Who cares.

Ah, Peter, I’m Tom, Annie’s

brother.

Hi, Tom

You can’t just let these things

run wild.

Why not?

Why can’t they run wild?

You haven’t got an answer have

you?

Have you?

This is your answer?

These are domestic rabbits bred

in laboratories for generations.

What chance do they have on the

streets or in the fields.

I know you disagree with what’s

going on in your course but why

don’t you just stand up and say

something about it?

You’re not in high school

anymore.

This is insane.

The ends don’t justify the means

you know.

We gotta do something.

Geronimo.

ANNIE: This is hopeless.

We’re never gonna catch them

all.

We’ve got to think of someway

to round them up.

Terrific idea, Tom, anybody

got a horse and a lasso?

No we have a dinner bell.

Annie, you told me these rabbits

are conditioned to respond to a

certain kind of sound for food.

Right, that’s right.

Give me a hand with these

cages, Nick, come on.

Peter, give me a hand with

the sound system.

(Clapping)

Move it.

Please.

Okay, let’s try it out.

Oh I hope this works.

(Tone beeping)

It’s working.

I don’t believe this.

It’s din din time in bunny land.

Mr. Bridges, I understand you

took it upon yourself to set all

the rabbits free last night.

Yes, sir.

Seems like a rather rash

thing to do.

Sir, I just...

I just think it’s wrong.

There must be better ways to

teach science than by killing

and torturing animals.

Indeed, Peter, I want to

congratulate you for having the

strength to stand by your

convictions.

I’ve been waiting for someone to

ask this question.

Before we begin any experiments

with life, you have to

understand the ethics of

science.

And that is going to be our

first topic of conversation this

year.

Pure and simple.

We want to instil in you a

reverence for life.

So that you’ll be up to the

responsibilities of caring for

all living things.

Dickory’s never going to go

for this.

Sure he will.

It’s the perfect application of

modern technology used to solve

a practical problem.

Okay, okay, but can we slow

it down a bit, I mean we’ve got

another two minutes to get

there.

The building’s on the other

side of the campus.

That’s right, Edison, and

you’re going to be late.

And what’s that contraption

supposed to be?

Well it’s...

Oh no, you don’t have to

explain.

The story’s all over campus.

A current example of engineering

at work.

Nevertheless, congratulations

Mr. Edison, you are the

spokesman for the first year

engineers.

May you enjoy the job as much as

I did.

Are you kidding?

You mean I’m in?

I passed the initiation?

With flying colours.

Hey, terrific.

Dickory, have some salad.

(Laughing)

ANNIE: Almost all animals can

be trained to do simple actions

or tricks.

TOM: To teach an animal you

must set up a system of rewards.

ANNIE: By rewarding the

animal every time he performs

the action he will eventually

learn the new trick.

TOM: This process is called

conditioning.

ANNIE: Conditioning was first

discovered by the Russian

scientist, Ivan Pavlov.

When he found that dogs could be

trained to anticipate food at

the sound of a bell.

Today scientists have

expanded on Pavlov’s experiments

to understand more on the

process of learning.

Humans as well as animals.



♪ They’re growin’ up and they’re

on their way ♪

♪ In college now they work and

play ♪

♪ The pace is faster as the

moment begins ♪

♪ Here come the Edison Twins

♪ Every day is a different

trial ♪

♪ But they pull through with

a lot of style ♪

♪ Always getting out of trouble

that they get in ♪

♪ Life with the Edison Twins

(Whistling)

♪ And if you use your head,

you’ll always win ♪

♪ You know the Edison Twins

♪ Oh, no two days are quite

the same ♪

♪ Life is just a learning game

♪ And if you use your head,

you’ll always win ♪

♪ Just like the Edison Twins