The Edison Twins (1982–1986): Season 6, Episode 10 - How to Haunt a Haunted House - full transcript

On his way to a Fifties revival dance, Tom thinks he sees a ghost in an abandoned house. Spurred on by Annie, Tom gives the house a through search with his scientific equipment that sends Annie on her own investigation of the illusive apparition.

(♪ Nick scatting )

(♪ Annie scatting )

Uh, uh, Annie, no, it’s...

(♪ Nick scatting identically )

Okay, okay, I got it.

Here we go.

Ready, Freddie?

Ready, sis.

One, two, three, four!

(♪ All scat while Nick sings )

♪ Tell me, tell me



♪ Who wrote the book of love

♪ I’ve got to know the answer ♪

♪ Was it someone from above

Uh, oh great!

Tom, Tom, don’t dilly-dally!

It’s not every day we go to a

genuine ’fifties sock hop, huh?

What’s wrong?

Oh, I forgot my wallet.

You guys go ahead, I’ll catch up

to you.

ANNIE: Tom!

Hey, I’m cool, fool.

Well then we’ll see you



later, alligator.

Very soon, baboon.

All right, do you guys know

The Stroll?

It goes something like this.

♪ Well, I wonder, wonder, who

♪ Badoo ba doo

♪ Who

♪ Who wrote the book of love

♪ Tell me, tell me

♪ Oh, who wrote the book of...

(Scary breathing)

(Owl hooting)

Hello?

Hello?

(Creaking)

♪ They’re growing up and they’re

on their way ♪

♪ At college now for work and

play ♪

♪ The pace is faster as the

moment begins ♪

♪ Here come the Edison Twins

♪ Every day is a different

trial ♪

♪ But they pull through with

a lot of style ♪

♪ Always getting out of trouble

that they get in ♪

♪ Life with the Edison Twins

(Whistling)

♪ And if you use your head,

you’ll always win ♪

♪ You know the Edison Twins

♪ Oh, no two days are quite

the same ♪

♪ Life is just a learning game

♪ And if you use your head,

you’ll always win ♪

♪ Just like the Edison Twins

(Tires screeching)

♪ ’Fifties music ♪

(Imitating Elvis): Oh, Mama,

my legs feel like rubber.

I could have danced all night

if only I had someone to dance

with.

(Laughing)

Are you still thinking about

what you saw in that empty

house?

ANNIE (Laughing): Are you?

Yes!

Okay, I am.

So why didn’t you go in and

have a look?

Well, I was going to go.

Not afraid of ghosts, are

you?

It was probably just some

sort of sorority prank, or

something.

Oh, yeah, probably.

What else could it have been?

Well, a spirit, a ghost.

Casper.

I see him all the time.

There’s no such things, Nick.

Look, I’m not going to argue

with you - you saw it, I didn’t.

The question is, what are you

going to do about it?

What I’m going to do is go

get a flashlight and check it

out.

Who wants to join me?

Me!

I’m not afraid of ghosts!

Okay.

Uh, Freddie’s got to get to

bed soon.

Are you kidding?

It’s getting late, kid!

Uh, yeah, I’m going with

them, sorry.

Okay, well that just leaves

you and me, Nick.

We just got here.

Look, I’ll tell you what I’m

going to do.

Tell me on the way.

Come on.

(Owl hooting)

You know, I’ve always wanted

to see inside this place.

Of course, I could have waited

until daylight.

You scared?

What, do I look like the

superstitious type?

That’s where you saw it, eh?

Yep.

Maybe it was just some

bizarre trick of the imagination

- you know, moonlight and

shadow, all that stuff.

Well, it could have been.

I definitely saw something,

though.

Yeah, right.

You really think I saw a

ghost, don’t you?

Well, let’s just say I don’t

hold the same scientific

convictions as you.

Beautiful.

This is a renovator’s nightmare,

and a phantom’s delight.

Hello!

Anybody here?

Fat chance.

Look at the dust in this place.

Nothing’s been in here for

years.

Nothing human, anyway.

(Maniacal laughter)

So what’s the game plan.

Well, I’ll check around

upstairs, you look around down

here.

What do you mean, split up?

It’ll save time.

I don’t know, Tom, is that

such a good idea?

I mean, you see it in the

movies, but do you really want

to go up there alone?

Well, I can handle it if you

can.

No sweat.

I’ll scream if I turn up

anything.

(Laughing)

Ghosty!

(Whistling)

Where are you?

Come here, boy!

Come here little ghost!

Come on!

(Whistling)

(Scary breathing)

(Laughing)

What are you doing up there,

Tom?

Tom?

Tom, where are you?

Tom?

Tom!

Tom?

(Door slamming)

Wah!

(Vampire impression): Good

evening.

Tom, that’s not very funny.

Ah, I’m just joking around.

Yeah, sure.

I found what I saw earlier.

It was the moon reflected off a

mirror through the curtain.

Look at this.

Oh, good, there’s nothing

downstairs except cobwebs and

mice.

Can we check out, now?

No no, we’ve got to finish

looking around.

If you want to look around,

go ahead.

I’ll wait outside.

Hey, Nick, lighten up.

Tom, this place gives me the

chills.

I just don’t like it.

Okay, I’ll be out in a sec.

(Mysterious singing)

♪ I hear the angels sing

♪ Your love will last today and

forever ♪

(Scary breathing)

♪ Your love will last today and

forever ♪

(Door slams)



(Door slams)

So are you satisfied?

You’re right, that place is

eerie.

You felt it too, huh?

Did you just hear music?

Music?

What kind of music?

Like an old ’fifties tune.

I didn’t hear a thing.

You’re still hearing the music

from the dance.

Come on.

It sounded like a car radio or

something.

Nope.

Don’t give me "nope".

Well, Tom I’ve been standing

right here the whole time.

"Nope" car went by.

Well, I definitely heard

music.

Sure you did.

Come on, let’s go.

I know I heard music.

You’re unbelievable.

Two hours ago nothing in the

world could make you believe in

ghosts.

Then you think you hear music

and you change your mind just

like that.

Hey hey hey, I’m not changing

my mind.

I know what I heard.

♪ I hear music

♪ Sweet, sweet

You didn’t hear it, right?

No, no.

I was outside.

Maybe there really is

something going on in that

house.

Oh, don’t you start.

Let’s face it, Tom.

You heard a ghost.

Why don’t you go talk to

Professor Talbot.

You know, the neat guy from the

psych department.

Yeah, maybe I will.

This is going to bug me until I

find some logical explanation.

So, that’s the story: Roxy

thought that because you’re the

resident expert on

parapsychology--

"Expert."

In this field, there’s no such

animal.

But I’m fascinated by the

possibilities.

Do you believe in ghosts?

Don’t you?

Nope.

What about the music that Tom

heard?

Simple.

Either someone’s putting you on,

or you had a paranormal

experience.

Do you know Cawthra House?

Oh, every dark corner.

Students have been making up

ghost stories about that place

for years.

I’ve poked around a little.

Did you ever find anything?

Zip.

The place was clean.

But that was five years ago.

Things change.

You mean ghosts might have

moved in since then?

Give me a break.

Well, why not?

There are two major theories to

hauntings: one is that ghosts

are like and echo or an

after-image of an event that

took place in that location.

And that echo can be picked

up by a psychically sensitive

person.

Right!

And door number two?

They’re spirits trapped on

earth because of unfinished

business.

They can’t leave until they get

things straightened out.

Have you ever seen one?

Nope.

Never been that lucky.

Listen, if you’re genuinely

interested in this, I’d be glad

to lend you my gear.

You can do some tests of your

own.

Oh, do it, Tom!

Yeah, why not?

I’ve come this far.

Let’s go to the lab.

We’ll catch you later.

I promised Freddie I’d show her

around.

Yeah.

Happy hunting.

This is your electronic

thermometer.

It gives you an instant readout.

A sudden drop in temperature

indicates the presence of a

ghost, right?

You’re doing some reading?

Yeah, a bit.

That’s the spirit.

Now, this camera has a built in

sensor that triggers the shutter

when magnetic impulses exceed

3600.

Again, an indication of an

ectoplasmic entity.

Yeah, how about the tape

recorder?

Hyper-sensitive mic.

If it’s possible to record a

ghost, this is the machine to do

it.

(Laughing)

Something the matter?

Do you really think all this

is possible?

I’m a scientist, Tom.

I’m always looking for clues.

Ooh, ghost busting equipment.

We’re really taking this thing

seriously, aren’t we?

Yep, I’m going to prove once

and for all that there’s nothing

going on in that house.

Well, Nick and I have been

doing a little research on our

own.

Yeah, we found a news article

you might be interested in.

Okay, I’m listening.

In 1958, a girl died in the

Cawthra House.

Oh?

Her name was Fiona.

Yeah, that’s right, and she

lived there with her father.

What happened?

Well, it says here she had an

accident on the front stairs.

Yeah, everybody says it’s

her ghost that haunts the place.

Well, come on!

Do you think the person you saw

in the window was a girl?

What I saw in the window was

the moonlight reflected off a

mirror.

Well what about the music?

♪ Doo doo, I ain’t afraid of no

ghost! ♪

Nick!

Will you get serious?

Why bother?

Who ever heard about a ghost

appearing in broad daylight.

Well, we might have to wait

until night.

I just got serious.

If somebody rigged up a sound

system for the music you heard,

I can’t find it, okay?

Well, it had to have come

from somewhere, didn’t it?

Here.

Okay.

Listen, I’m just going to

have a look upstairs.

Maybe I can find a ghost or two

that wants to have her picture

taken.

Thanks a lot, Nick.

All right, this is all set

up.

I think I’m going to have a look

upstairs too.

Okay.

Hey, look at this.

What?

The temperature’s dropping.

Look.

Oh yeah.

Oh, it’s the wind coming through

the door.

That thing’s really sensitive.

Oh, I guess you’re right.

Is everything set up down

there?

Yeah.

He’s just fiddling around with

the tape recorder.

You know, this place doesn’t

seen scary at all in broad

daylight.

Yeah, I guess you have to

wait until it gets dark.

I guess.

Hey, quiet up there you guys.

NICK: Yeah, okay Tom.

And this is Fiona’s bedroom.

Where Tom saw his first

ghost.

(Laughing)

(Banging and ghostly voice)

VOICE: Go away.

Go away.

(Door banging, clattering)

You guys okay?

ANNIE: Yeah, we’re fine.

What happened.

Did you guys hear it?

Of course we heard it.

What was it?

I don’t know.

I really think we should get

out of here.

(Scary breathing)

What is it?

It’s a book.

Yeah.

Let’s go look at the photos.

Come on.

Aren’t you coming?

Oh, I can’t believe this.

There’s nothing there.

Look.

I wonder what triggered the

camera.

I don’t know.

Are you sure it was set up

properly?

Yeah.

I don’t understand.

Well, maybe there’s something

on the tape recorder.

Well, I don’t know guys--

ANNIE: Yeah yeah yeah.

We’ll take it to the lab and

find out, okay?

Okay, here it goes.

You know, this place doesn’t

seem scary at all in broad

daylight.

Yeah, I guess--

Sounds like Annie and Nick.

Yeah, so far.

(Rewinding)

Okay, listen.

(Scary whispering)

What’s that?

Shh!

(Groaning and whispering)

VOICE: Go away!

Go away?

It was telling you to go away.

I can’t believe this!

Neither can I.

That is definitely not the

wind.

It sounds like--

--a ghost.

Oh, this is too weird.

Yeah, I really think you

should stay away from this

house.

Hey, where are you guys

going?

This could be a scientific

breakthrough!

I don’t even think I really

want to know about it, okay?

Yeah, ditto.

My nightmares are real enough

already.

Yeah, but this is

unbelievable!

Oh, I couldn’t believe it!

It was beautiful!

(Laughing)

The way you rigged that camera,

he was completely taken in!

Oh, the voices on the tape.

The voices on the tape.

He’s going to flip when he finds

out we set them up!

And the book!

When did you put the book there?

I didn’t.

I thought you did.

No!

You guys aren’t going to

believe this.

I don’t know - right now we’d

believe just about anything.

Well, the book we found is

Fiona Cawthra’s diary.

It’s an incredible story!

What?

Well, you said Fiona was

living alone in that house with

her father, right?

And she was going out with a

local guy by the name of Bobby.

Really?

According to the diary,

Fiona’s father didn’t like

Bobby, and he tried to break it

up.

But the two of them kept on

seeing each other, secretly.

They finally decided to run

away.

But on the night they planned

to take off, Fiona’s father

found out about it.

We figure it happened like

this...

TOM: Fiona was waiting for

Bobby in her room.

(Horn honking)

ROXY: When she head his car,

she went to the window and

waved.

Then she grabbed her suitcase,

and headed for the hall.

♪ I want you night and day

TOM: But her father heard

her.

Fiona, where are you going?

TOM: He tried to stop her.

FIONA: Please, let me go!

FATHER: You will do as I say!

TOM: Fiona broke free and ran

down the stairs.

GIRL: And she tripped and

fell.

Fiona!

TOM: It was an accident.

FATHER: Fioooooona!

That’s pretty bizarre, guys.

Obviously, Fiona’s ghost has

been trying to escape from the

house ever since.

Aren’t you taking this a

little too far?

Are we?

Well maybe it was Fiona I saw in

the window.

You said it was a reflection!

Yeah, well I could have been

wrong.

Okay, here’s the capper.

We figure Fiona has chosen Tom

to help her escape.

Well how do you know that?

It’s Bobby.

I found it in the diary.

This looks like you!

Yeah, I know.

But I can’t explain how this is

happening.

All I know is that it is.

And somehow I’ve got to help

Fiona escape.

But she’s a ghost.

We’re going down to the house

right now.

You can join us if you want.

Okay, is everyone ready?

ANNIE: Yeah, yeah, I guess

so.

This is really exciting!

NICK: Exciting’s not really

the word I had in mind, but--

Okay, now everyone keep

still.

Tom, don’t you think you’re

taking this thing a bit too far?

Shh!

Here it goes.

Fiona?

(Laughing)

Fiona!

Fiona, if you can hear me, we

know your story.

We know your father stopped

you from leaving, but he can’t

stop you any more.

Oh, come on, guys.

I mean, this really isn’t very

funny.

We’re your friends.

We want to help you.

FIONA: Bobby.

Bobby.

It’s okay.

You’re free to go now.

FATHER: Go away!

You can’t stop her any more,

Cawthra.

Let her go!

She loves Bobby.

Let her go!

(Horn honking)

♪ Baby I dream of you each night

♪ I want to hold you tight

♪ I want you to be mine

♪ Until the end of time

♪ Young love will last today and

forever ♪

That is the most unnatural

thing I’ve ever seen.

You know, if I hadn’t seen it

with my own eyes, there’s no way

in the world I could believe it

really happened.

I know.

(Horn honking)

Oh no, she’s back!

I do believe in ghosts!

I do believe in ghosts!

I do--

What’s going on!?

It was Roxy’s idea.

I just invited a few of my

friends from the local theatre

company.

(Laughing)

Annie and Nick, I’d like you

to meet Jenny, Bill, and David.

ALL: Hello.

You know, I really enjoyed

your earlier show.

So we decided one good ghost

story deserved another.

What do you mean?

We knew that you two rigged

up the house to make all those

noises.

Well then why didn’t you say

anything?

Well, we didn’t want to spoil

your fun.

The diary was a great touch.

What, you mean the book you

found?

Yeah.

Sorry, that wasn’t us.

Seriously?

Yeah, well what about he

music stunt you pulled.

That was a pretty good one.

Uh, I really did hear

something.

Wait a minute, are you

saying?

♪ Young love will last today--

No!

It couldn’t be.

No way.

No way for what?

Nothing Freddie.

Nothing at all.

I think.

(Laughing)

ANNIE: The imagination is a

creative process through which

images and ideas are formed in

the mind.

TOM: Everything we see, hear,

smell, or taste, can trigger

this creative process.

ANNIE: People use their

imagination to create everything

from spoons to spaceships.

TOM: In our minds, we can

travel to exotic places, imagine

things we’ve never known, and

create fantasies that don’t

exist.

ANNIE: But sometimes our

imaginations can go too far, and

confuse the real with the

imagined.

♪ They’re growing up and they’re

on their way ♪

♪ At college now for work and

play ♪

♪ The pace is faster as the

moment begins ♪

♪ Here come the Edison Twins

♪ Every day is a different

trial ♪

♪ But they pull through with

a lot of style ♪

♪ Always getting out of trouble

that they get in ♪

♪ Life with the Edison Twins

(Whistling)

♪ And if you use your head,

you’ll always win ♪

♪ You know the Edison Twins

♪ Oh, no two days are quite

the same ♪

♪ Life is just a learning game

♪ And if you use your head,

you’ll always win ♪

♪ Just like the Edison Twins