The Edison Twins (1982–1986): Season 5, Episode 1 - One Good Con... - full transcript

After winning an award for a labour saving appliance, Tom goes invention crazy with plans to automate the entire Edison house.

(School bell ringing)

TOM: I thought that class

would never end.

Really!

What a boring class!

LANCE: Hey, Tom, Annie, wait

up.

TOM: What’s up?

Oh, you’re not gonna believe

this one.

ANNIE: You passed your



chemistry midterm.

More incredible than that,

even.

I just came from history class.

Johnson’s quit.

What?

Yeah, he said ours was his

last class, thanked us for

listening, then he left.

Orin’s done some pretty weird

things before, but quitting?

Do you know what this means,

Tom?

Horseface Hanovan.



Come on, she’s not that bad.

You’re right, I could use the

sleep.

There he is.

ANNIE: Mr. Johnson.

Hi, Annie.

Hi, Tom.

Is it true?

Is what true?

That you quit your job.

Yeah, I’ve quit.

Well, what are you going to

do?

Well, haven’t you heard?

I’m going treasure hunting.



♪ Just kids trying to do what

they should ♪

♪ Growing up in the

neighbourhood ♪

♪ Oh, they’re up the street ♪

♪ And around the bend

♪ They’re called the

Edison Twins ♪

♪ Now, every day is a

different trial ♪

♪ But they pull through with

a lot of style ♪

♪ Always getting out of trouble

that they get in ♪

♪ Life with the Edison Twins

(Whistling)

♪ And if you use your head,

you’ll always win ♪

♪ You know the Edison Twins

♪ Oh, no two days are quite

the same ♪

♪ Life is just a learning game

♪ And if you use your head,

you’ll always win ♪

♪ Just like the Edison Twins

ANNIE: What kind of treasure

are you looking for?

Pirate treasure, of course.

You remember that history lesson

we had about the War of 1812?

TOM: The pirate named Warren

Johnson?

Uh-huh.

Oh, yeah, that’s your

great-great-great-- triple-great

grandfather, right?

Yeah, that’s the man, and he

buried a treasure, a fortune of

silver and jewels.

Well, you’ve been looking for

that treasure on your summer

holidays for years.

Quitting your job, that’s a big

step.

Yeah, have you found

something?

Well, I bought the place

where the treasure is hidden,

and now I’m going to claim my

legacy.

Would any of you people like to

help me look for it?

Treasure hunt?

You bet!

Good.

Meet me at the old Clayton

Stables at 1:00 tomorrow.

All right.

We’ll be there then.

Mum’s the word.

Bye.



TOM: Hi.

ANNIE: Hi.

What did you do, clean out a

library?

No, just the War of 1812

section.

You find anything?

Yeah, Warren Johnson was a

small-time pirate.

He used to row a longboat among

the islands not far from Weston

scuttling all the ships that

were anchored offshore.

Well, that couldn’t have been

very profitable.

Orin’s been talking about this

thing like it’s some kind of

huge treasure.

ANNIE: You’re right, but one

day while rowing around they

came across a British passenger

ship called the Sir Robert

Simcoe and they got away with

$175,000 in currency and

jewellery.

That’s more like it.

I guess they took off over

land because they were caught in

this area, but apparently the

treasure was never recovered.

Well, our friend Orin is

convinced its hidden in the old

Clayton Stables.

What’s at the old Clayton

Stables?

Hi.

I thought you were going camping

with Joey.

So did I, but Mom says I

gotta get over this cold first.

Hey, guys.

Hey, come on, let’s shake it up

here.

It’s almost one o’clock.

PAUL: What’s that?

That is a metal detector.

Br-r-r.

So are you guys ready or what?

PAUL: Hey, I’m ready.

For what?

Whatever!

Hey, the kid’s ready for

whatever!

Come on, let’s go!

Come on, Paul!



TOM: Hey, Orin.

ANNIE: Hi, Orin.

My goodness, it looks like a

whole army has come over here to

help me.

A pirate really lived in this

old stable?

Yeah, this place doesn’t look

old enough to have been here

since 1812.

Oh, it isn’t.

No, that was built on the

foundations of the old stables

that were burned down about 150

years ago.

Well, what makes you think

Warren Johnson buried his

treasure here?

Well, this, for one thing.

TOM: Gold watch with "WJ" on

it.

Warren Johnson.

Yeah, I found it over there

near the old foundations.

Well, that’s enough for me.

Let’s start digging!

No point in wasting time,

huh?

ORIN: Well, that’s what I

call real enthusiasm.

Come on, I’ll show you around

the place.

Orin, what was Johnson doing

at the stables?

Well, when he was captured

about, oh, 20 miles from here,

he was on horseback.

Oh, and you think the horses

came from the original stables.

Well, it makes sense, doesn’t

it?

And the ship that he pirated was

anchored less than five miles

from this place.

Oh, and by the way, I found

these.

Yeah.

Now, the first one was found by

the man who used to own this

place and he sold it to

Berkeley’s coin shop.

It’s British sterling stamped

1812.

It certainly all adds up.

Yeah, and this one I found

over there.

Well, who owned this place

before you did?

Well, Sam Nixon.

You know, the man that owns the

Rainbow Motel.

For $50,000 you’d think he’d

clean this place up a bit,

wouldn’t you?

You paid $50,000 for this

place?

Well, yes, it’s a bargain

when I find that treasure.

PAUL: Hey, you guys, come

here!

We found something!

Hey, there’s something big

down here!

PAUL: That thing was going

crazy.

I knew it had to be here, you

know.

I mean, pirates always bury

their treasure under trees.

ANNIE: Somehow I don’t think

this tree was that big in 1812.

Well, there’s something down

here, Annie.

PAUL: Hey.

Lookie here.

Oh, a nail.

LANCE: I don’t believe this,

you know.

That little thing was going

right off the scale.

Well, there’s got to be

something else.

Right.

Hey.

What did I tell ya?

A pirate’s knife!

Look, it’s a bayonet.

It’s here somewhere, I can

feel it.

Well, come on, Lance.

Let’s go.

There you go.

It’s my turn.

What do you think about all

this?

Well, it seems too good to be

true.

Come on.

TOM: Well, that’s

interesting.

What?

Well, the grease on this

blade has lithium in it.

Nothing else would make that red

flame.

LANCE: So?

They didn’t have lithium 170

years ago.

They would have used animal fat

or wax.

That pretty well sums up what

I found, too.

There are microscopic bits of

mould on this nail, but I didn’t

find any on the coins or the

watch.

Well, what does that mean?

It means these things weren’t

buried 170 years ago.

In other words, somebody

probably put that stuff there to

make Orin think that Warren

Johnson’s treasure was stashed

on the property.

Yeah, the only question is

who.

Now, wait a minute, you guys!

Here we are on the verge of

finding a fortune in buried

treasure and you’re both here

trying to prove that the whole

thing’s a hoax.

Oh, come on, let your

imagination go for once!

Gee, it’s got to be somewhere.

Right, Annie?

So why can’t the treasure be

buried there?

Well, that’s the thing,

Lance.

Everybody knows that that’s what

Orin believes.

TOM: Yeah, exactly.

Orin’s treasure hunting has had

a lot of publicity over the

years.

It makes him a perfect target.

Now what are you two talking

about?

ANNIE: Well, just listen for

a second, Lance.

What if Sam Nixon was trying to

sell the Clayton Stables but

nobody would buy the place

because it’s too rundown?

TOM: Yeah, then one day he

comes across an article about

Orin in the newspaper, so he

does a little research to see if

the stables could be a possible

hiding place for the treasure.

ANNIE: Right, and when he

finds out it could be, he then

places a few old artefacts

around the stables.

He then takes a coin to a coin

shop, knowing that it would find

it’s way back to Orin.

Yeah, and bingo!

He sells the property for far

more than it’s worth.

A classic con job.

Right.

LANCE: Terrific.

Now, how are we going to tell

Orin?



TOM: Orin?

ORIN: I’m over here.

Hi, Annie.

Oh, hi.

Boy, you don’t waste any time.

Yeah, you’ve been busy.

Yep.

Any luck?

No, not yet.

You people are very quiet today.

What’s up?

I’m afraid we’ve got some bad

news for you, Orin.

ANNIE: Yeah, we ran some

tests last night on the bayonet

and pocket watch.

And?

Well, there’s no way those

things have been buried since

1812.

ANNIE: There’s no sign of

weathering.

Those things could have been

buried yesterday.

What about the coins?

The same thing.

Orin, there’s nothing linking

them to the Warren Johnson

treasure.

Oh, it’s here.

It’s got to be here.

Well, I mean everything-- points

to it.

Yeah, that’s only ’cause you

want it to.

I’ve invested every nickel I

have in this place.

It’s got to be here.



Well, if the treasure isn’t

here, what have I got?

A worthless piece of real

estate.

I couldn’t wait to make out that

cheque to Nixon.

I thought I was stealing the

place from him.

Orin, we think Sam Nixon

conned you.

What?

We think he planted those

things there so you would buy

the place.

(Yelling)

Lance?

ORIN: Where are you?

TOM: Hey, Lance!

LANCE: I’m down here.

ANNIE: Are you all right?

Yeah, I think so.

ORIN: Well, what happened?

I was just looking around.

I fell through this trapdoor.

ANNIE: What’s down there?

Looks like junk to me.

ORIN: Oh, now I’ve got a nice

piece of worthless real estate

with a secret room.

The question is what are we

going to do about it.

We make Nixon give Orin back

his money.

ORIN: We can’t do that.

He hasn’t done anything illegal.

He never said there was buried

treasure here.

Orin, he’s conned you out of

your life savings.

ANNIE: What are you thinking

about?

One good con deserves

another, right?

What?

Maybe we can fight treasure

with treasure.

Hey, I like it already.



ORIN: Good day.

How are you?

ORIN: I’d like to see Mr.

Nixon, please.

I’ll get him.

Oh, Sam.

Mr. Johnson is here.

Mr. Johnson, what can I do

for you?

Mr. Nixon, I’d like to cancel

our deal on the Clayton place.

What?

Yes, well, my plans for the

old place have fallen through

and I wondered if you would give

me my money back.

I’m afraid that’s out of the

question.

I already invested your money.

Well, I’m-- I’m willing to

take a loss on it.

A deal’s a deal.

Good day, Mr. Johnson.

What do you know, Lyle.

I guess he found there’s no

treasure there.

I planted all kinds of stuff

around those ruins that should

have kept him busy for at least

a week.

TOM: How’d it go?

At least now he knows I

didn’t find anything.

So far so good.

You know, I can’t believe

this is going to work.

Don’t worry, it’ll work.

PAUL: I don’t get it.

First we’re looking for treasure

and now we’re hiding it.

ANNIE: Don’t worry, I’ll

explain it to you later.

PAUL: Okay.

Where should I put these old

clothes?

Oh, put them in the soup.

Okay.

Yuck.

Oh, don’t worry, that’s

right.

I’ll help you.

What is it?

Well, mostly it’s tea.

It’ll make these clothes look

even older.

We also soaked these documents

in it.

You see?

Wow.

Pretty neat, huh?

PAUL: Yeah.

LANCE: Whoa, hold your fire

there, Tom-boy.

Lance, you got that straw

bale?

LANCE: Right here.

Okay, send it down.

LANCE: Watch your head.

Whoa, this place is gonna be a

pirate’s paradise.

Well, that’s the idea.

Come on, help me with these

boards here, will ya?

There you go.

Okay, on my way.

Hello, Paul.

Hi.

Some fine old relics you got

there.

Yeah, it’s right from the

Edison antique factory.

Hi, Annie.

Hi, Orin.

Well, I finally got the

musket.

That’s great!

I want you to take a look at

something.

See?

ORIN: Sir Robert Simcoe?

Where’d you get that?

Well, Paul had a jeweller

engrave the name into a piece of

brass and then I dipped it into

some diluted sulphuric acid to

age it a bit.

Well, I’d certainly believe

it was the genuine article.

Well, let’s hope Nixon

believes that.

(Humming)

(Spraying)

These cobwebs look great,

don’t they?

Hey, Paulie, I always knew

you’d make a great spider.

ANNIE: Hello?

LANCE: Oh, hello.

ORIN: Here’s the musket.

ANNIE: And here’s some

custom-made old clothing.

TOM: I’ll take those, Lance.

Now watch your step there,

Annie.

ANNIE: Yep.

Oh, you guys did a great job.

Yeah, we did, didn’t we?

Hey, I think I’ll take up

interior decorating.

Oh, the musket, anyone got

that?

ORIN: Yeah, here.

Good.

LANCE: Why don’t we put it on

the bed here, Tom?

That way they’ll be sure to see

it.

PAUL: I’ll put a couple

cobwebs on that.

Well, that’s everything.

Let’s go.

LANCE: Hey, it’s time for me

to pay Mr. Nixon a visit.

Great.

Hey, you coming, spider?

I’ll be right there.



LANCE: Good day, gentlemen.

SAM: May I help you?

Well, this is a motel, isn’t

it?

Yeah, course it is.

Forty dollars a night.

Oh, I think that that should

cover it.

Just kidding.

SAM: Hey, whoa, wait a

second.

Where did you get that gold

coin?

Did you ever hear about an

old pirate named Johnson?

There was an article about him

in the paper a couple of months

back.

Ah, yeah, I remember.

A distant relation of his-- a

school teacher, isn’t it?-- is

out there looking for the--

something or other.

Well, he better hurry, ’cause

I found it.

PAUL: When are they coming?

I’m freezing.

ANNIE: Wait a minute, where’s

your jacket?

PAUL: Well, I haven’t seen it

since yesterday.

I took it off because it was

kind of hot in the hideout, it

must still be down there.

Great!

An authentic antique blue satin

jacket!

Oh, I hope Tom’s fast.

Our treasure hunters are coming

up the road now.

PAUL: Well, what do we do?



Tom, they’re coming!

Did you get it?

TOM: I can’t see it anywhere.

Get down, hide.

Look at this.

I bet you that’s where that guy

found the gold coin.

LYLE: Let’s see if there’s

anything inside.

(Door banging)

Did you hear something?

SAM: Hey, they’ve been

ripping up the flooring.

LYLE: Hey, what’s this?

There’s something underneath

here.

SAM: Hey, it’s a trapdoor!

If they see Tom or Annie it’s

all over!

I don’t believe it.

It’s all my fault!

LANCE: Paul.

Hey, Paul!

Paul, come back here!

Hey, look at this.

A real pirate’s hideaway.

This is amazing.

It’s a cinch Johnson doesn’t

know about this.

Hey, look at this, an old

musket.

With some writing on it.

What does it say?

SAM: Sir Robert Simcoe.

Let me see.

Hey, Sir Robert Simcoe.

It’s the boat the pirate nabbed

the treasure from!

Orin was right.

It’s gotta be here.

PAUL: Fred, where are you?

Hey, come here!

Fred!

There’s somebody outside.

Quick.

We’d better check it out.

PAUL: Fred, come here!

Fred, where are you, boy?

Come on, Fred!

Fred, come here!

Where are you?

Fred!

SAM: Hey, kid.

What do you think you’re doing?

PAUL: Well, I can’t find my

dog, Fred.

Well, there’s no dog around

here now.

PAUL: Well, I’m positive he

came this way.

This is private property.

I think you’d better run along.

PAUL: What about Fred?

I’m sure he’ll turn up

sometime.

Now off you go, go on.

(Door banging)

Did you seal it up?

He’ll never find it.

Good.

We’d better get out of here

before somebody else sees us.



ANNIE: Paul, quick thinking!

TOM: Things were getting

pretty tense down there.

Well, what do we do now?

ANNIE: Now we wait and see if

they fall for it.

ORIN: Hello.

TOM: Well?

ANNIE: Did you get your

teaching job back?

Well, the principal called me

into the office and said he was

sorry that I didn’t find my

treasure, but he was glad to

have me back on staff.

All right!

Oh, good!

ORIN: Ah, it’s Nixon.

Well, whatever happens, I’m

certainly very grateful to you

both for all you tried to do for

me.

Mr. Johnson.

I’ve been looking everywhere for

you.

I’ve got some good news.

I’ll be able to take the Clayton

place off your hands, after all.

Of course, there will be a small

administration fee, say $10,000.

Well, I’m-- I’m sorry, Mr.

Nixon, I’ve changed my mind.

But I found another

interested party.

Well, I’m sorry, I have plans

for the old place.

Besides, a deal is a deal, isn’t

it, Mr. Nixon?

Uh, Orin, can we talk to you

for a sec’?

Excuse me, Mr. Nixon.

Orin, what are you doing?

I’ve changed my mind, that’s

all.

TOM: Look, we know the

treasure isn’t there, we would

have found it if it were.

Get rid of the place while

you’ve got the chance.

SAM: If it’s the money,

Johnson, we can forget about the

administration fee.

I’ll give you back the full

fifty thousand.

Here.

A cheque for $50,000.

Well--

Okay.

SAM: It’s been a pleasure.

Good day to you all.



Nice acting job.

ORIN: Thank you.

You had me convinced you were

serious.

TOM: Paper is made from

cellulose fibres bonded

together under tremendous

pressure.

ANNIE: Over time, chemical

impurities in the paper attack

the cellulose fibres and the

bonding begins to deteriorate.

TOM: This breakdown is

accelerated by the ultraviolet

rays of the sun, leaving the

paper brittle and yellow.

ANNIE: Paper can be

artificially aged by soaking it

in tea and then drying it under

heat lamps.

TOM: Botanic acid in tea

stains the paper and speeds up

the chemical breakdown of the

cellulose fibres.

ANNIE: The heat dries the

paper, making it feel old and

brittle.



♪ Just kids trying to do what

they should ♪

♪ Growing up in the

neighbourhood ♪

♪ Oh, they’re up the street ♪

♪ And around the bend

♪ They’re called the

Edison Twins ♪

♪ Now, every day is a

different trial ♪

♪ But they pull through with

a lot of style ♪

♪ Always getting out of trouble

that they get in ♪

♪ Life with the Edison Twins

(Whistling)

♪ And if you use your head,

you’ll always win ♪

♪ You know the Edison Twins

♪ Oh, no two days are quite

the same ♪

♪ Life is just a learning game

♪ And if you use your head,

you’ll always win ♪

♪ Just like the Edison Twins