The Durrells in Corfu (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript
In 1935 widow Louisa Durrell pulls her bullied youngest son Gerry out of his Bournemouth school and, along with his siblings, would-be writer Larry and rebellious teenagers Margo and Leslie, moves him to Corfu, where Larry's friend Donald lives. Thanks to enterprising local taxi driver they are installed in a - fairly dilapidated - house and whilst the other children annoy the natives Gerry finds a fellow nature enthusiast in doctor Theo. Efforts by her offspring to match-make Louisa with salty ex-sailor Captain Creech are a disaster . On the other hand, she finds Theo perfectly charming.
(waves crashing)
(jazz music playing)
(music playing on radio)
♪ Get your hat
and get your coat, babe ♪
(blowing)
♪ Leave your worries
on the doorstep ♪
♪ Just direct your feet ♪
♪ On the sunny side
of the street ♪
♪ Don't you hear
that pitter-pat ♪
♪ And that happy tune
at your doorstep? ♪
♪ Life can be so sweet ♪
♪ On the sunny side
of the street... ♪
(phone ringing)
Hello-- Bournemouth 2353.
Yes, Gerald Durrell is my son.
Gerry?
WOMAN:
Mrs. Durrell!
You have just caned my son!
In a just society,
you would be tied to a tree
and whipped
for beating
an innocent child!
He would rather feed the rats
behind the cricket pavilion
than attend his classes.
Yes, because he's been bullied
ever since arriving
at this pitiful school!
And why do you think
that is, dear?
Because...
...he's a bit different.
That's why children are bullied,
you moron.
It's easy to see where
his incivility comes from.
Don't use that language!
Don't instruct me.
I am not one of your
witless flunkies.
No offense.
I'm sure you would be lovely
if you were allowed to be.
The purpose of education
is to draw the best
out of children,
not to beat fear into them.
A father would no doubt
have ironed out
more of their shortcomings.
I look forward
to a letter of apology.
Oh, he won't be returning.
I'd rather he were taught
by monkeys.
Mom, I'd love that.
Can we do that?
Don't be daft, Gerry.
(branch breaks)
Ow!
What do you mean
I'm a bit different?
♪♪
(slurping)
(door closes)
How could you have stood by
and let me become
an estate agent?
I am a writer.
You don't actually write,
though, do you, darling?
Yes, I'm a fashion model.
Fighter pilot.
(sighs)
Oh, by the way,
I've left school.
No, you haven't.
Look, if Gerry can do it,
so can I.
Anyway, I've taken
my uniform into the garden
and shot it, so...
I might as well
leave too.
I'm as thick
as two short planks.
As soon as I can find
a husband, I'll be off.
What is the matter
with all of you?
GERRY:
Roger.
LARRY:
Here he is, the unteachable
leading the untrainable.
(sighs)
We should go to Corfu.
I've been.
Corfu Castle.
I'm not going back
till they put a roof on it.
It's Corfe Castle, darling.
Jesus, Margo!
No, Corfu's a Greek island.
I told you I was dim!
(screams)
Darling,
you are not dim!
You're 16!
What's all this about a husband?
My friend Donald
lives in Corfu.
He says it's dirt cheap,
so I can write there,
full of disgusting animals
for Gerry,
and Leslie,
you can shoot them.
Hey, Margo!
I'll pack.
We are not
going anywhere!
We can't just run away
from our problems.
(gate creaking)
Good afternoon,
Mrs. Durrell.
Oh!
Louisa, please.
Indeed.
We widowed folk
must stick together.
You should come
and have that sherry.
Yes, I should.
Since I've retired,
I've played a lot of bowls.
Do you play?
If only I had the time.
And the bowls.
Let me speak plainly.
You are an attractive lady
and I am an attractive man.
The children need
a father figure,
and I'm a big admirer
of boarding schools.
(laughs):
Come on!
(sighs)
(door closes)
Oh.
Hello.
Why are you
SO miserable?
Perhaps it's because
I thought I was a good mother,
and yet all I've managed to do
is bring up
one unteachable son,
one psychopath,
one vacuous daughter,
and you.
What's wrong with me?
And worse than that,
none of you seems happy.
There's no laughter
in this house anymore.
A writer shouldn't be happy.
It's counter-productive.
You're not a writer, darling.
You sell houses.
It's a flag of convenience.
What about you?
You drink like a fish,
if fish drank gin.
And I know we've got
money problems.
There are no secrets
in this family.
There are secrets, actually.
Oh god, you're not dying,
are you?
No, I'm not dying.
(sighs)
The secret is...
...that I can't live
like this anymore.
When you were all small,
it was like
we were on a journey,
always moving forward.
And now we've stopped
moving forward,
and we are sinking.
So for once in my life, Larry,
I have decided...
...to take your advice.
Which advice?
♪♪
(people speaking Greek)
(bell ringing)
(horse neighing)
You know, a taxi
would probably cost
the same as a banana
in Bournemouth.
We should start
as we mean to go on.
Wanting to Kill
each other?
Economizing.
Look, I can see
the village up ahead!
Look!
You are not serious.
Now look, the house sale
barely covered our debts.
We have no money.
I have a miserly
widow's pension.
You are a miserly widow.
Be quiet!
And you all earn
precisely nothing.
We are not on holiday.
We are here to live
like local people,
in joy and togetherness,
without the trappings
of so-called civilization,
which as far as I can tell
basically means cruelty
and alienation.
It's going to be wonderful.
(horn honking)
Don't talk to him.
Everybody here
only speaks Greek, anyway.
Hi! You peoples
want a taxi?
No.
Yes, absolutely.
Where are you going?
We like walking.
Ignore her.
We're going
to that guesthouse
in the far,
far distance.
That's a nice motor.
It's American.
Nothing like it
on Corfu.
Spiros Halikiopoulos.
Leslie.
Margo.
Larry.
I'm... Mrs. Durrell.
The mother.
The most important person.
I'll get your luggage.
Where's Gerry?
LOUISA:
Gerry?
There's a lizard!
LARRY:
It's a tree
with a lizard on it.
How could that possibly
be interesting?
LOUISA:
Gerry!
You's very pale.
Yes, we plan to do
a lot of sunbathing.
No, we don't.
It's the main reason
we came here.
No, it isn't.
How long are you
staying?
Uh, we don't know, but...
Well, we don't have a house
to go back to in England.
Honest to god,
if I wasn't Greek,
I'd like to be English.
Oh! Thank you.
Oh, this must be it.
No, you don't
stay here.
Too expensive.
Lots of empty houses
on the island.
I'll find you one.
Yes. Good.
(men speaking Greek)
(shouting)
(Greek continues)
(laughter)
Mrs. Durrells, come!
LARRY:
Gerry!
There's a zoo
in the lavatory!
(flies buzzing)
Wow!
I'm sleeping
in the lavatory!
I can't believe the Customs
let you through with those.
I just think they know
self-defense is vital
in today's unsure world.
I think you should
marry Spiros.
I don't want to marry again.
But he was wearing
a wedding ring.
Oh.
And he had a photograph
of his wife and children
on the dashboard.
I thought that was
the Greek royal family.
Why would he have
a photo of them?
Where's the...?
Oh, there's no electricity
on Corfu.
LESLIE:
(chuckling)
(shutters creaking)
(scream)
(shouting in Greek)
I get some more discounts,
Mrs. Durrells.
Oh, we really need
to get some beds.
(barking)
LOUISA:
Gerry?
Gerry!
Wellingtons.
Why?
For snakes.
Here.
Oh!
And this.
What?
So you can be seen.
Mom, I'm sure it's fine.
There we are!
And, uh, don't...
...do anything.
(annoyed):
Bye!
MARGO:
Bye, Mother!
See you later.
Oh! Margo!
Show me.
What?
You know what.
Margo, this is not
Bournemouth.
I know.
I presume
that's why we're here.
The Greeks can be
very conservative.
In my day,
young ladies avoided the sun.
Well, in my day,
which is now, we don't.
Book?
Good girl.
And don't just use it
as a pillow.
(sighs)
LARRY:
Right! Starting now!
(typewriter clanging)
At last.
Oh, Leslie!
Will you help me, darling,
with the...
Afraid not--
I'm too busy.
(birds chirping)
GERRY:
Um... kalimera.
Kalimera.
That was excellent.
Do you have any more Greek?
No, we've only been here
one day.
Oh, welcome.
Have you seen
one of those before?
No.
The nest
of an Egyptian vulture.
Its party piece is
breaking eggs it wants to eat
by throwing pebbles
at them.
It's very rare for birds
to use tools.
Oh, sorry,
you probably knew that.
No.
(shouting in Greek)
(gasps)
(shouting continues)
(shouting continues)
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
MAN:
Do you have kumquats
in Hampshire?
GERRY:
I don't think so.
It's mainly apples.
And cabbage.
Apples are not good
in Corfu.
We are pretty sure,
in the Bible,
Eve was tempted
by a kumquat.
That's a tiny joke.
Oh!
How are your creatures?
I can't wait
to show my family.
Your optimism
is impressive.
I find my interest
in wildlife
is regarded by my friends
as a form of madness.
(barking)
(laughing)
Dogs jumping
like kangaroos!
Always funny.
(gunshot)
(car approaching)
Good shot, Leslie!
Don't hit your mother.
(groaning)
(faint banging)
Larry, come down here and help!
I can't!
I'm working!
(typewriter clanging)
Mrs. Durrells?
Oh.
I bring you
Lugaretzia.
Oh, hello.
Why?
You need help.
Big family.
House pretty,
but not so perfect.
Yes, you spotted that.
Well, thank you, Spiros,
but we can't afford help.
Of course you can--
you're English.
The English come in all kinds,
and we are the poor type.
She's cheap.
Part-time,
almost free.
Oh, god!
I look like
some kind of witch!
No, you don't.
Where's Mr. Durrells?
Oh, he's dead,
selfishly.
So it's just me now,
shouldering the burden.
Like a braying,
sexless donkey!
(groans)
SPIROS:
She doesn't
understand English,
SO you can shout out
bad things about her.
I don't want to shout out
bad things about her.
How cheap is she?
Lugaretzia...
(negotiating in Greek)
Sh!
15 drachmas a day.
Welcome.
Um... she's a little bit
hypochondriac.
Oh.
(groans)
Goodbye, Mrs. Durrells.
(groans)
(footsteps approaching)
Oh, darling,
what's the matter?
A man shouted at me.
Oh, sweetheart.
Oh...
It's all right.
It's just going to be
more different than I thought.
Yes.
Yes, me too.
(gunshot)
(gunshot)
(screams)
LARRY:
Don't be so feeble.
Go back and shout at him!
MARGO:
What, so he has
an excuse
to throw me into the sea
or kill me?
Oh, have some
moral courage!
Stop it, you two.
When have you ever shown
any moral courage,
whatever that is?
I show moral courage
in my writing every day!
What writing?
Get a proper job!
You're an intellectual dwarf.
Larry, that is cruel.
MARGO:
At least
I'm intellectual.
Your intellect
is dwarf-sized!
LOUISA:
For god's sake!
(crying)
Yes, it's very nice, isn't it?
It was my mother's, actually.
That looks like
a bullet hole.
Leslie must have nearly
shot her.
(shouting in Greek)
She's not still going on
about that, is she?
(shouting in Greek)
No!
Lugaretzia?
Lugaretzia, come back!
(door slams)
Leslie, you could have
killed her!
It's an air gun.
She could get
a flesh wound at worst,
or lose an eye!
You're so stupid!
"Or lose an eye"?!
Unbelievable!
I have been working
like a slave for you.
Now we've lost
my only bit of help...
There's so many species
in the wood,
I don't know
where to start!
I found this...
Gerry!
(screaming)
GERRY:
Stop them!
Get them out,
get them out!
Don't stamp on them!
LESLIE:
Let me shoot one of them!
Don't shoot them!
Stop it!
(kids shouting)
Stop it!
(crying):
Where did I go wrong?
How did you all become so vile?
♪♪
LARRY:
You know what her problem is?
Don't you think
we're the problem?
No.
Don't be absurd.
She needs a man.
Don't you dare talk
about Mother like that.
I'll look after her.
Let me lend you a paper by Freud
called the Oedipus Complex.
I expect that's really clever,
but nobody cares.
The body is built for sex.
Gerry knows--
he watched animals mating.
LESLIE:
You're obsessed
with sex.
At last, we agree on something.
And since I'm not getting any,
at least we can help Mother.
MARGO:
All right,
where should we start looking?
We can't just drag men in
off the street.
(knocking)
Good afternoon.
Theo!
My name is Theo Stephanides.
Hello.
Good afternoon.
Gerry kindly invited me for tea.
For your future discoveries.
Thank you so much.
Tea, yes.
Shall I come back another day?
BOTH:
No, no, no.
Tea.
Theo...
Are you single?
Yes, I am.
(squeaking)
Good luck.
We couldn't work out
how to heat the water.
Oh, don't worry.
I can have tea anytime.
Figs with sardines--
that's breaking new ground.
So, can I help unlock
any mysteries about Corfu?
Can you explain why a monk
shouted at me like a lunatic
as I was sunbathing?
Maybe you were just lying
in his space.
The Greeks used to spend
half their lives naked,
so he has no excuse.
THEO:
But that was
the Ancient Greeks,
and male nudity.
Female bodies were more often
shown partially clothed.
Well, there you go, then.
Become a man or wear a coat
over your bikini.
(chuckles)
There's one rule for men
and one for women,
isn't there?
Have you only just noticed?
I've been busy growing up.
How long has this been going on?
THEO:
Even Aristotle,
who was no slouch,
placed women some way
below men,
but above slaves--
hurrah!
Are there any more biscuits,
Margo?
Get them yourself!
So, Theo,
you are not married yet.
What do you look for
in a woman?
Oh!
(chuckles)
Someone I can exchange
ideas with,
discuss scientific advances,
and just sit quietly with.
Oh.
Yeah, no,
that won't work.
No.
No.
Theo came for tea.
Well, not tea.
But he gave me this,
which 1 filled with dormice.
Oh, Gerry...
We told Leslie
he can't shoot
near the house anymore
because Larry can't write,
and he might kill us.
So he's going off
round the island tomorrow.
Come on.
Ooh! Getting quite big,
aren't you?
Yes.
Should I get off?
No.
You can get off now.
I can't feel my legs.
(groans)
(sighs)
Any recommendations?
Mm.
Avoid the food.
Stick to the booze.
(laughs)
A fellow foreigner, huh?
Yes, although I consider myself
a citizen of the world.
You look like
you've been around.
Mm.
Sailed the seven seas.
Do you have a favorite?
Hated all of them!
Treacherous, cold, wet,
generally devoid of women.
(loud laughter)
(shouting in Greek)
(shouting continues)
I am dressed
perfectly respectably,
unlike Ancient Greek men,
from all accounts,
and I'm entitled to be here.
I think you should take a break
from sunbathing.
I'm not going
to be put off...
Because your face
looks like a tomato.
Oh...
Exciting news.
Why are you speaking quietly?
You never speak quietly.
Because I don't want mother
to hear.
God, why is everyone so dim?
She's gone to the bank to see
if the money's arrived yet.
Fortunately,
we won't starve.
I've shot this beauty.
She won't need her own money
if this works out.
I've found her a man.
No! Who?
His name's Captain Creech.
Cracking sense of humor,
stories to tell,
doesn't beat
about the bush,
and, well,
he must have a few quid.
This will go horribly wrong,
you know.
How will you get them together?
I might leave it
a few weeks.
Her monthly's coming up
and she'll be more volatile.
Stop saying these things!
The money's arrived
from the sale
of our furniture.
It's not much,
but it might make us feel
a bit more like we belong.
Mm.
(speaking Greek)
MAN:
For Easter.
Parakalo.
Efharisto.
(speaking Greek)
(speaking Greek)
(speaking Greek)
(birds calling)
(imitating bird calls)
How are you feeling,
mother?
Well... happier.
Still livid that
you drove Lugaretzia away.
And hormonally?
Don't be ridiculous!
I'm bringing a pal over
for supper tonight.
Your age,
as it happens.
Oh.
Well, our first guest.
What shall I cook?
It'll have to be
mainly figs.
Right, I'm off
for the day.
Did anyone notice anything
different about Leslie?
I try not to look at him.
He's becoming very handsome.
He really isn't.
He left without a gun.
I've never seen him
without a gun.
(shouting in Greek)
(shouting stops)
(sniffing)
God bless you.
I didn't take a firearm
this morning
because I'm over
all that now.
Oh!
Oh, I'm so glad,
Leslie.
I just like exploring
the island, you know,
with a dictionary.
Talking to the locals.
What's really going on?
Have you shot
someone dead?
Don't be silly, Margo.
He's just growing up.
Besides, it's the 1930s,
darling.
People don't need guns
anymore.
LARRY:
Mother!
This is Captain Creech.
He's been looking forward
to meeting you.
CREECH:
Well!
(chuckling)
Mrs. Durrell.
With a face like that,
you should be on the front
of a ship.
Oh, thank you.
A present for the house:
a bottle of the finest rum
from Jamaica.
Have you ever been
to Jamaica?
No, no, I haven't.
The first place
I ever caught gonorrhea.
(laughs loudly)
So there we were,
a dozen Uruguayan strumpets
below deck
and a ripping wind,
straight out of the arsehole
of the earth.
(laughing)
My, this is good tucker.
I like a girl who's, uh...
...handy in the galley,
as well as in bed.
(chuckles)
Where was 1?
Arsehole of the earth.
Ah!
Yes, that's
quite enough
of that story.
Gerry, sing us a song.
Anything you like.
CREECH:
Where's your head?
At the moment,
it's pounding.
It's nautical for...
Your crapper.
Dunny.
Thunder box.
I think he means
the lavatory.
Yes. Yes, I know that now.
It's round the back.
Excuse me.
(laughing)
(passes gas)
(laughing)
What the hell did you think
you were doing,
bringing that filthy old lecher
into our house?
He's a breath
of fresh air.
Oh!
This is what happens
when women let men
rule the roost.
(footsteps)
(snoring)
Get up!
Bye.
Oh, Leslie!
What are you doing today?
Just walk around,
chat with locals.
Ask for work, so I can
help out with the money.
Oh...
He's lying.
I know.
I just thought I'd treat him
like an adult.
What were you
treating him like
when you let him have
half a dozen guns?
I'm a mother,
not a policeman.
I thought it might lead
to some discipline,
you know, make a man of him,
with daddy not being there.
You'll discover,
if you ever have children...
I am listening--
I'm just going into the garden.
Stupid boy,
where are you?
MAN:
(speaking Greek)
(laughing)
(speaking Greek)
(groans)
(groans)
(grunts)
(frustrated shout)
Sodding bloody...
Larry, please!
I'm sure Virginia Woolf
doesn't swear like a trooper.
Well, her brother
didn't remove
the letter X
from her typewriter.
Why would Leslie do that?
So I don't write the word "sex"
so much, apparently.
It's all right.
I'll get him back.
Did I mention that your arse...
...should be on the front
of a ship?
Don't start that again.
We had quite enough
last night.
It's your fault
for letting me drink.
Look below the surface,
it's usually the ladies
that cause the problems.
You know, I am astonished that
nobody has murdered you yet.
Now, please leave!
After you've made me
a spot of lunch.
(typewriter clanging)
Shut up!
Use a bloody pencil!
(silverware clattering)
Oh, Lugaretzia!
Welcome back.
It's been hell
without you.
Son of a bitch.
I see Spiros
has been teaching you.
In England, we say "bastard."
Barsto?
Bastard.
Barsto.
Yeah.
Barsto.
I love him, Mom.
Oh, Gerry, take it outside.
Gerry, take him outside now!
He'll escape.
Not for a while,
he won't.
Gerry?!
There's so much to see!
Eat, then leave.
I'm sorry if I've
disappointed you.
I've spent too much time
in the company of uncouth men.
Oh.
Well, thank you.
I'm sorry, I...
(surprised shout)
Get out!
Fine.
I'll just finish
my lunch.
(door slams)
Now, you leave
or I'll shoot you.
No, you won't.
(gunshot)
You are in great need
of a slap!
Oh, so it's okay for you
to shoot and nearly
kill someone?
Yes.
Yes, it is.
Leslie, we told you,
no more shooting!
It wasn't me!
That is the last time
you try to find me a husband.
Is that clear?
Are you sure?
I met a fascinating Turk
in a bar in town.
And how did you think
I would fall
for Popeye
the bloody Sailor Man?!
And he's not my age!
We think the sex
will calm you down.
God!
Your father
was the love of my life,
and I don't want or need
a pale imitation of him.
Well, I find that rather sad.
You may have given up,
but we haven't.
(bird squawking)
(squawks)
Ooh!
Oh, where have you been?
I was following Leslie
and I got lost.
I tried to ask
the way home,
but nobody's bothered
to learn English.
Anyway, Leslie's lost
his interest in guns
because he's got
a girlfriend.
A what?
I found him with a local girl,
kissing and worse.
Oh!
Well, maybe it was a good idea
to come out here after all.
I mention wanting a boyfriend,
and you call me empty-headed
and sex-mad,
but Leslie finds someone
and he's a hero?
Firstly, Margo,
I am thrilled that
you are thinking for yourself
and highlighting
double standards.
Thank you.
And secondly,
don't you dare be so bloody rude
to your mother.
Good, I'll find myself a man,
then.
(gasps)
Hello, Luga.
Glad you're back.
This short story is genius.
Oh? Who wrote it?
Me!
(horn honking)
Look who I find
walking home!
Mom!
Gerry, you have a spider,
two dormice, a tortoise,
and a family.
You do not need a pelican.
Let it go.
I will after I've studied it.
(laughs)
It's not funny, Spiros.
No, of course not.
Come on, Gerry,
we'll make a zoo cage!
(knocking at door)
Larry, we need to talk
about your writing.
We'll deal with you being
a peeping Tom later.
I'm sorry you don't like it,
but I refuse to let...
No, it's brilliant.
But why is the mother
so horrible?
Everything isn't about you.
Oh, nothing is about me.
My life is devoured
by my children.
In 21 years,
I haven't thought about myself
for five consecutive minutes.
But it's good, isn't it?
Did you like the ending?
Yes, Larry, it's very good.
You're going to make us
very proud.
In this family?
You're going to make us
mildly pleased
in a complicated way.
Come and look at this.
The rocks,
just by the chapel.
Oh!
LOUISA:
That's my girl.
THEO:
Hello!
Mrs. Durrell?
Theodore Stephanides.
Delighted
to finally meet you.
(speaking Greek)
I suspect you need
a cross-piece there.
Here.
I believe it's called
a purlin.
Leslie, what's your
new girlfriend's name?
How do you know about her?
I know everything, darling.
I'm your mother.
She's called Alexia.
Mm?
It's the loveliest name.
Mm!
And if you ever want to type it,
you'll have to give Larry
his X back.
To koritsi mou,
y Alexia einai...
(struggling)
(laughs):
Leslie!
Why are you so good to us,
Spiros?
We have no money,
we argue all the time.
We have a word:
filoxenia.
It means "love to strangers".
That is so sweet.
And it's clear you need help.
LARRY:
(shouting)
Sodding bloody...!
LESLIE:
Lugaretzia,
how do you say this in Greek?
(speaking Greek)
(repeating Greek words)
(speaking Greek)
(guns clanging)
That is my revenge
on you, Leslie.
An X for an X.
I just made them look
less violent!
MAN:
Does anyone live here?
Oh!
Somebody died?
My friends Donald and Max.
I invited them over.
Oh.
Gosh, who's this?
♪♪
(jazz music playing)
(music playing on radio)
♪ Get your hat
and get your coat, babe ♪
(blowing)
♪ Leave your worries
on the doorstep ♪
♪ Just direct your feet ♪
♪ On the sunny side
of the street ♪
♪ Don't you hear
that pitter-pat ♪
♪ And that happy tune
at your doorstep? ♪
♪ Life can be so sweet ♪
♪ On the sunny side
of the street... ♪
(phone ringing)
Hello-- Bournemouth 2353.
Yes, Gerald Durrell is my son.
Gerry?
WOMAN:
Mrs. Durrell!
You have just caned my son!
In a just society,
you would be tied to a tree
and whipped
for beating
an innocent child!
He would rather feed the rats
behind the cricket pavilion
than attend his classes.
Yes, because he's been bullied
ever since arriving
at this pitiful school!
And why do you think
that is, dear?
Because...
...he's a bit different.
That's why children are bullied,
you moron.
It's easy to see where
his incivility comes from.
Don't use that language!
Don't instruct me.
I am not one of your
witless flunkies.
No offense.
I'm sure you would be lovely
if you were allowed to be.
The purpose of education
is to draw the best
out of children,
not to beat fear into them.
A father would no doubt
have ironed out
more of their shortcomings.
I look forward
to a letter of apology.
Oh, he won't be returning.
I'd rather he were taught
by monkeys.
Mom, I'd love that.
Can we do that?
Don't be daft, Gerry.
(branch breaks)
Ow!
What do you mean
I'm a bit different?
♪♪
(slurping)
(door closes)
How could you have stood by
and let me become
an estate agent?
I am a writer.
You don't actually write,
though, do you, darling?
Yes, I'm a fashion model.
Fighter pilot.
(sighs)
Oh, by the way,
I've left school.
No, you haven't.
Look, if Gerry can do it,
so can I.
Anyway, I've taken
my uniform into the garden
and shot it, so...
I might as well
leave too.
I'm as thick
as two short planks.
As soon as I can find
a husband, I'll be off.
What is the matter
with all of you?
GERRY:
Roger.
LARRY:
Here he is, the unteachable
leading the untrainable.
(sighs)
We should go to Corfu.
I've been.
Corfu Castle.
I'm not going back
till they put a roof on it.
It's Corfe Castle, darling.
Jesus, Margo!
No, Corfu's a Greek island.
I told you I was dim!
(screams)
Darling,
you are not dim!
You're 16!
What's all this about a husband?
My friend Donald
lives in Corfu.
He says it's dirt cheap,
so I can write there,
full of disgusting animals
for Gerry,
and Leslie,
you can shoot them.
Hey, Margo!
I'll pack.
We are not
going anywhere!
We can't just run away
from our problems.
(gate creaking)
Good afternoon,
Mrs. Durrell.
Oh!
Louisa, please.
Indeed.
We widowed folk
must stick together.
You should come
and have that sherry.
Yes, I should.
Since I've retired,
I've played a lot of bowls.
Do you play?
If only I had the time.
And the bowls.
Let me speak plainly.
You are an attractive lady
and I am an attractive man.
The children need
a father figure,
and I'm a big admirer
of boarding schools.
(laughs):
Come on!
(sighs)
(door closes)
Oh.
Hello.
Why are you
SO miserable?
Perhaps it's because
I thought I was a good mother,
and yet all I've managed to do
is bring up
one unteachable son,
one psychopath,
one vacuous daughter,
and you.
What's wrong with me?
And worse than that,
none of you seems happy.
There's no laughter
in this house anymore.
A writer shouldn't be happy.
It's counter-productive.
You're not a writer, darling.
You sell houses.
It's a flag of convenience.
What about you?
You drink like a fish,
if fish drank gin.
And I know we've got
money problems.
There are no secrets
in this family.
There are secrets, actually.
Oh god, you're not dying,
are you?
No, I'm not dying.
(sighs)
The secret is...
...that I can't live
like this anymore.
When you were all small,
it was like
we were on a journey,
always moving forward.
And now we've stopped
moving forward,
and we are sinking.
So for once in my life, Larry,
I have decided...
...to take your advice.
Which advice?
♪♪
(people speaking Greek)
(bell ringing)
(horse neighing)
You know, a taxi
would probably cost
the same as a banana
in Bournemouth.
We should start
as we mean to go on.
Wanting to Kill
each other?
Economizing.
Look, I can see
the village up ahead!
Look!
You are not serious.
Now look, the house sale
barely covered our debts.
We have no money.
I have a miserly
widow's pension.
You are a miserly widow.
Be quiet!
And you all earn
precisely nothing.
We are not on holiday.
We are here to live
like local people,
in joy and togetherness,
without the trappings
of so-called civilization,
which as far as I can tell
basically means cruelty
and alienation.
It's going to be wonderful.
(horn honking)
Don't talk to him.
Everybody here
only speaks Greek, anyway.
Hi! You peoples
want a taxi?
No.
Yes, absolutely.
Where are you going?
We like walking.
Ignore her.
We're going
to that guesthouse
in the far,
far distance.
That's a nice motor.
It's American.
Nothing like it
on Corfu.
Spiros Halikiopoulos.
Leslie.
Margo.
Larry.
I'm... Mrs. Durrell.
The mother.
The most important person.
I'll get your luggage.
Where's Gerry?
LOUISA:
Gerry?
There's a lizard!
LARRY:
It's a tree
with a lizard on it.
How could that possibly
be interesting?
LOUISA:
Gerry!
You's very pale.
Yes, we plan to do
a lot of sunbathing.
No, we don't.
It's the main reason
we came here.
No, it isn't.
How long are you
staying?
Uh, we don't know, but...
Well, we don't have a house
to go back to in England.
Honest to god,
if I wasn't Greek,
I'd like to be English.
Oh! Thank you.
Oh, this must be it.
No, you don't
stay here.
Too expensive.
Lots of empty houses
on the island.
I'll find you one.
Yes. Good.
(men speaking Greek)
(shouting)
(Greek continues)
(laughter)
Mrs. Durrells, come!
LARRY:
Gerry!
There's a zoo
in the lavatory!
(flies buzzing)
Wow!
I'm sleeping
in the lavatory!
I can't believe the Customs
let you through with those.
I just think they know
self-defense is vital
in today's unsure world.
I think you should
marry Spiros.
I don't want to marry again.
But he was wearing
a wedding ring.
Oh.
And he had a photograph
of his wife and children
on the dashboard.
I thought that was
the Greek royal family.
Why would he have
a photo of them?
Where's the...?
Oh, there's no electricity
on Corfu.
LESLIE:
(chuckling)
(shutters creaking)
(scream)
(shouting in Greek)
I get some more discounts,
Mrs. Durrells.
Oh, we really need
to get some beds.
(barking)
LOUISA:
Gerry?
Gerry!
Wellingtons.
Why?
For snakes.
Here.
Oh!
And this.
What?
So you can be seen.
Mom, I'm sure it's fine.
There we are!
And, uh, don't...
...do anything.
(annoyed):
Bye!
MARGO:
Bye, Mother!
See you later.
Oh! Margo!
Show me.
What?
You know what.
Margo, this is not
Bournemouth.
I know.
I presume
that's why we're here.
The Greeks can be
very conservative.
In my day,
young ladies avoided the sun.
Well, in my day,
which is now, we don't.
Book?
Good girl.
And don't just use it
as a pillow.
(sighs)
LARRY:
Right! Starting now!
(typewriter clanging)
At last.
Oh, Leslie!
Will you help me, darling,
with the...
Afraid not--
I'm too busy.
(birds chirping)
GERRY:
Um... kalimera.
Kalimera.
That was excellent.
Do you have any more Greek?
No, we've only been here
one day.
Oh, welcome.
Have you seen
one of those before?
No.
The nest
of an Egyptian vulture.
Its party piece is
breaking eggs it wants to eat
by throwing pebbles
at them.
It's very rare for birds
to use tools.
Oh, sorry,
you probably knew that.
No.
(shouting in Greek)
(gasps)
(shouting continues)
(shouting continues)
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
MAN:
Do you have kumquats
in Hampshire?
GERRY:
I don't think so.
It's mainly apples.
And cabbage.
Apples are not good
in Corfu.
We are pretty sure,
in the Bible,
Eve was tempted
by a kumquat.
That's a tiny joke.
Oh!
How are your creatures?
I can't wait
to show my family.
Your optimism
is impressive.
I find my interest
in wildlife
is regarded by my friends
as a form of madness.
(barking)
(laughing)
Dogs jumping
like kangaroos!
Always funny.
(gunshot)
(car approaching)
Good shot, Leslie!
Don't hit your mother.
(groaning)
(faint banging)
Larry, come down here and help!
I can't!
I'm working!
(typewriter clanging)
Mrs. Durrells?
Oh.
I bring you
Lugaretzia.
Oh, hello.
Why?
You need help.
Big family.
House pretty,
but not so perfect.
Yes, you spotted that.
Well, thank you, Spiros,
but we can't afford help.
Of course you can--
you're English.
The English come in all kinds,
and we are the poor type.
She's cheap.
Part-time,
almost free.
Oh, god!
I look like
some kind of witch!
No, you don't.
Where's Mr. Durrells?
Oh, he's dead,
selfishly.
So it's just me now,
shouldering the burden.
Like a braying,
sexless donkey!
(groans)
SPIROS:
She doesn't
understand English,
SO you can shout out
bad things about her.
I don't want to shout out
bad things about her.
How cheap is she?
Lugaretzia...
(negotiating in Greek)
Sh!
15 drachmas a day.
Welcome.
Um... she's a little bit
hypochondriac.
Oh.
(groans)
Goodbye, Mrs. Durrells.
(groans)
(footsteps approaching)
Oh, darling,
what's the matter?
A man shouted at me.
Oh, sweetheart.
Oh...
It's all right.
It's just going to be
more different than I thought.
Yes.
Yes, me too.
(gunshot)
(gunshot)
(screams)
LARRY:
Don't be so feeble.
Go back and shout at him!
MARGO:
What, so he has
an excuse
to throw me into the sea
or kill me?
Oh, have some
moral courage!
Stop it, you two.
When have you ever shown
any moral courage,
whatever that is?
I show moral courage
in my writing every day!
What writing?
Get a proper job!
You're an intellectual dwarf.
Larry, that is cruel.
MARGO:
At least
I'm intellectual.
Your intellect
is dwarf-sized!
LOUISA:
For god's sake!
(crying)
Yes, it's very nice, isn't it?
It was my mother's, actually.
That looks like
a bullet hole.
Leslie must have nearly
shot her.
(shouting in Greek)
She's not still going on
about that, is she?
(shouting in Greek)
No!
Lugaretzia?
Lugaretzia, come back!
(door slams)
Leslie, you could have
killed her!
It's an air gun.
She could get
a flesh wound at worst,
or lose an eye!
You're so stupid!
"Or lose an eye"?!
Unbelievable!
I have been working
like a slave for you.
Now we've lost
my only bit of help...
There's so many species
in the wood,
I don't know
where to start!
I found this...
Gerry!
(screaming)
GERRY:
Stop them!
Get them out,
get them out!
Don't stamp on them!
LESLIE:
Let me shoot one of them!
Don't shoot them!
Stop it!
(kids shouting)
Stop it!
(crying):
Where did I go wrong?
How did you all become so vile?
♪♪
LARRY:
You know what her problem is?
Don't you think
we're the problem?
No.
Don't be absurd.
She needs a man.
Don't you dare talk
about Mother like that.
I'll look after her.
Let me lend you a paper by Freud
called the Oedipus Complex.
I expect that's really clever,
but nobody cares.
The body is built for sex.
Gerry knows--
he watched animals mating.
LESLIE:
You're obsessed
with sex.
At last, we agree on something.
And since I'm not getting any,
at least we can help Mother.
MARGO:
All right,
where should we start looking?
We can't just drag men in
off the street.
(knocking)
Good afternoon.
Theo!
My name is Theo Stephanides.
Hello.
Good afternoon.
Gerry kindly invited me for tea.
For your future discoveries.
Thank you so much.
Tea, yes.
Shall I come back another day?
BOTH:
No, no, no.
Tea.
Theo...
Are you single?
Yes, I am.
(squeaking)
Good luck.
We couldn't work out
how to heat the water.
Oh, don't worry.
I can have tea anytime.
Figs with sardines--
that's breaking new ground.
So, can I help unlock
any mysteries about Corfu?
Can you explain why a monk
shouted at me like a lunatic
as I was sunbathing?
Maybe you were just lying
in his space.
The Greeks used to spend
half their lives naked,
so he has no excuse.
THEO:
But that was
the Ancient Greeks,
and male nudity.
Female bodies were more often
shown partially clothed.
Well, there you go, then.
Become a man or wear a coat
over your bikini.
(chuckles)
There's one rule for men
and one for women,
isn't there?
Have you only just noticed?
I've been busy growing up.
How long has this been going on?
THEO:
Even Aristotle,
who was no slouch,
placed women some way
below men,
but above slaves--
hurrah!
Are there any more biscuits,
Margo?
Get them yourself!
So, Theo,
you are not married yet.
What do you look for
in a woman?
Oh!
(chuckles)
Someone I can exchange
ideas with,
discuss scientific advances,
and just sit quietly with.
Oh.
Yeah, no,
that won't work.
No.
No.
Theo came for tea.
Well, not tea.
But he gave me this,
which 1 filled with dormice.
Oh, Gerry...
We told Leslie
he can't shoot
near the house anymore
because Larry can't write,
and he might kill us.
So he's going off
round the island tomorrow.
Come on.
Ooh! Getting quite big,
aren't you?
Yes.
Should I get off?
No.
You can get off now.
I can't feel my legs.
(groans)
(sighs)
Any recommendations?
Mm.
Avoid the food.
Stick to the booze.
(laughs)
A fellow foreigner, huh?
Yes, although I consider myself
a citizen of the world.
You look like
you've been around.
Mm.
Sailed the seven seas.
Do you have a favorite?
Hated all of them!
Treacherous, cold, wet,
generally devoid of women.
(loud laughter)
(shouting in Greek)
(shouting continues)
I am dressed
perfectly respectably,
unlike Ancient Greek men,
from all accounts,
and I'm entitled to be here.
I think you should take a break
from sunbathing.
I'm not going
to be put off...
Because your face
looks like a tomato.
Oh...
Exciting news.
Why are you speaking quietly?
You never speak quietly.
Because I don't want mother
to hear.
God, why is everyone so dim?
She's gone to the bank to see
if the money's arrived yet.
Fortunately,
we won't starve.
I've shot this beauty.
She won't need her own money
if this works out.
I've found her a man.
No! Who?
His name's Captain Creech.
Cracking sense of humor,
stories to tell,
doesn't beat
about the bush,
and, well,
he must have a few quid.
This will go horribly wrong,
you know.
How will you get them together?
I might leave it
a few weeks.
Her monthly's coming up
and she'll be more volatile.
Stop saying these things!
The money's arrived
from the sale
of our furniture.
It's not much,
but it might make us feel
a bit more like we belong.
Mm.
(speaking Greek)
MAN:
For Easter.
Parakalo.
Efharisto.
(speaking Greek)
(speaking Greek)
(speaking Greek)
(birds calling)
(imitating bird calls)
How are you feeling,
mother?
Well... happier.
Still livid that
you drove Lugaretzia away.
And hormonally?
Don't be ridiculous!
I'm bringing a pal over
for supper tonight.
Your age,
as it happens.
Oh.
Well, our first guest.
What shall I cook?
It'll have to be
mainly figs.
Right, I'm off
for the day.
Did anyone notice anything
different about Leslie?
I try not to look at him.
He's becoming very handsome.
He really isn't.
He left without a gun.
I've never seen him
without a gun.
(shouting in Greek)
(shouting stops)
(sniffing)
God bless you.
I didn't take a firearm
this morning
because I'm over
all that now.
Oh!
Oh, I'm so glad,
Leslie.
I just like exploring
the island, you know,
with a dictionary.
Talking to the locals.
What's really going on?
Have you shot
someone dead?
Don't be silly, Margo.
He's just growing up.
Besides, it's the 1930s,
darling.
People don't need guns
anymore.
LARRY:
Mother!
This is Captain Creech.
He's been looking forward
to meeting you.
CREECH:
Well!
(chuckling)
Mrs. Durrell.
With a face like that,
you should be on the front
of a ship.
Oh, thank you.
A present for the house:
a bottle of the finest rum
from Jamaica.
Have you ever been
to Jamaica?
No, no, I haven't.
The first place
I ever caught gonorrhea.
(laughs loudly)
So there we were,
a dozen Uruguayan strumpets
below deck
and a ripping wind,
straight out of the arsehole
of the earth.
(laughing)
My, this is good tucker.
I like a girl who's, uh...
...handy in the galley,
as well as in bed.
(chuckles)
Where was 1?
Arsehole of the earth.
Ah!
Yes, that's
quite enough
of that story.
Gerry, sing us a song.
Anything you like.
CREECH:
Where's your head?
At the moment,
it's pounding.
It's nautical for...
Your crapper.
Dunny.
Thunder box.
I think he means
the lavatory.
Yes. Yes, I know that now.
It's round the back.
Excuse me.
(laughing)
(passes gas)
(laughing)
What the hell did you think
you were doing,
bringing that filthy old lecher
into our house?
He's a breath
of fresh air.
Oh!
This is what happens
when women let men
rule the roost.
(footsteps)
(snoring)
Get up!
Bye.
Oh, Leslie!
What are you doing today?
Just walk around,
chat with locals.
Ask for work, so I can
help out with the money.
Oh...
He's lying.
I know.
I just thought I'd treat him
like an adult.
What were you
treating him like
when you let him have
half a dozen guns?
I'm a mother,
not a policeman.
I thought it might lead
to some discipline,
you know, make a man of him,
with daddy not being there.
You'll discover,
if you ever have children...
I am listening--
I'm just going into the garden.
Stupid boy,
where are you?
MAN:
(speaking Greek)
(laughing)
(speaking Greek)
(groans)
(groans)
(grunts)
(frustrated shout)
Sodding bloody...
Larry, please!
I'm sure Virginia Woolf
doesn't swear like a trooper.
Well, her brother
didn't remove
the letter X
from her typewriter.
Why would Leslie do that?
So I don't write the word "sex"
so much, apparently.
It's all right.
I'll get him back.
Did I mention that your arse...
...should be on the front
of a ship?
Don't start that again.
We had quite enough
last night.
It's your fault
for letting me drink.
Look below the surface,
it's usually the ladies
that cause the problems.
You know, I am astonished that
nobody has murdered you yet.
Now, please leave!
After you've made me
a spot of lunch.
(typewriter clanging)
Shut up!
Use a bloody pencil!
(silverware clattering)
Oh, Lugaretzia!
Welcome back.
It's been hell
without you.
Son of a bitch.
I see Spiros
has been teaching you.
In England, we say "bastard."
Barsto?
Bastard.
Barsto.
Yeah.
Barsto.
I love him, Mom.
Oh, Gerry, take it outside.
Gerry, take him outside now!
He'll escape.
Not for a while,
he won't.
Gerry?!
There's so much to see!
Eat, then leave.
I'm sorry if I've
disappointed you.
I've spent too much time
in the company of uncouth men.
Oh.
Well, thank you.
I'm sorry, I...
(surprised shout)
Get out!
Fine.
I'll just finish
my lunch.
(door slams)
Now, you leave
or I'll shoot you.
No, you won't.
(gunshot)
You are in great need
of a slap!
Oh, so it's okay for you
to shoot and nearly
kill someone?
Yes.
Yes, it is.
Leslie, we told you,
no more shooting!
It wasn't me!
That is the last time
you try to find me a husband.
Is that clear?
Are you sure?
I met a fascinating Turk
in a bar in town.
And how did you think
I would fall
for Popeye
the bloody Sailor Man?!
And he's not my age!
We think the sex
will calm you down.
God!
Your father
was the love of my life,
and I don't want or need
a pale imitation of him.
Well, I find that rather sad.
You may have given up,
but we haven't.
(bird squawking)
(squawks)
Ooh!
Oh, where have you been?
I was following Leslie
and I got lost.
I tried to ask
the way home,
but nobody's bothered
to learn English.
Anyway, Leslie's lost
his interest in guns
because he's got
a girlfriend.
A what?
I found him with a local girl,
kissing and worse.
Oh!
Well, maybe it was a good idea
to come out here after all.
I mention wanting a boyfriend,
and you call me empty-headed
and sex-mad,
but Leslie finds someone
and he's a hero?
Firstly, Margo,
I am thrilled that
you are thinking for yourself
and highlighting
double standards.
Thank you.
And secondly,
don't you dare be so bloody rude
to your mother.
Good, I'll find myself a man,
then.
(gasps)
Hello, Luga.
Glad you're back.
This short story is genius.
Oh? Who wrote it?
Me!
(horn honking)
Look who I find
walking home!
Mom!
Gerry, you have a spider,
two dormice, a tortoise,
and a family.
You do not need a pelican.
Let it go.
I will after I've studied it.
(laughs)
It's not funny, Spiros.
No, of course not.
Come on, Gerry,
we'll make a zoo cage!
(knocking at door)
Larry, we need to talk
about your writing.
We'll deal with you being
a peeping Tom later.
I'm sorry you don't like it,
but I refuse to let...
No, it's brilliant.
But why is the mother
so horrible?
Everything isn't about you.
Oh, nothing is about me.
My life is devoured
by my children.
In 21 years,
I haven't thought about myself
for five consecutive minutes.
But it's good, isn't it?
Did you like the ending?
Yes, Larry, it's very good.
You're going to make us
very proud.
In this family?
You're going to make us
mildly pleased
in a complicated way.
Come and look at this.
The rocks,
just by the chapel.
Oh!
LOUISA:
That's my girl.
THEO:
Hello!
Mrs. Durrell?
Theodore Stephanides.
Delighted
to finally meet you.
(speaking Greek)
I suspect you need
a cross-piece there.
Here.
I believe it's called
a purlin.
Leslie, what's your
new girlfriend's name?
How do you know about her?
I know everything, darling.
I'm your mother.
She's called Alexia.
Mm?
It's the loveliest name.
Mm!
And if you ever want to type it,
you'll have to give Larry
his X back.
To koritsi mou,
y Alexia einai...
(struggling)
(laughs):
Leslie!
Why are you so good to us,
Spiros?
We have no money,
we argue all the time.
We have a word:
filoxenia.
It means "love to strangers".
That is so sweet.
And it's clear you need help.
LARRY:
(shouting)
Sodding bloody...!
LESLIE:
Lugaretzia,
how do you say this in Greek?
(speaking Greek)
(repeating Greek words)
(speaking Greek)
(guns clanging)
That is my revenge
on you, Leslie.
An X for an X.
I just made them look
less violent!
MAN:
Does anyone live here?
Oh!
Somebody died?
My friends Donald and Max.
I invited them over.
Oh.
Gosh, who's this?
♪♪